Author: Brett L

Oh hey, everyone but me is on vacation — switching to monitoring work email on my phone. Unfortunately, my car is down due to either a brake pedal switch or brake solenoid failure. Now in most vehicles, you can just stick a key in the override and go on your way. In the 2013 Ford Expedition, you need a long, very thin object approximately six inches long. Or else mine is just fuxored right there, too. Anyhoo, replacing the solenoid is done through… replacing the entire shifter assembly. Which shipped out of the warehouse today, which means I’m down this weekend. So it looks like its time to investigate home-delivery options for alcohol…

I resisted making this joke yesterday, but can’t today: Friends say there’s something funny about comedian’s suicide. I’ll just go over here to the mirror and narrow my own gaze.

Happy Solstice, and good luck finding virgins to sacrifice!

I know this will piss off FdA (tw: link to WSJ), but here’s an article about State Capitalism succeeding in Cuba. And by succeeding, I mean rationing food due to shortages.

Oh boy, here comes prog-jection again. Politico wonders “what if Trump won’t accept defeat in 2020?” This person who won’t be voting for Trump in 2020 wonders if there is anyway without massive cheating that could possibly happen.

Here’s what my kids call “the Planes song” when it comes on the radio. Playa Manhattan knows what I’m talking about.

I don’t want to work any more. I feel like I’ve reached my productivity threshold for the week. Can’t we just pretend to work tomorrow?

I am surprised Eric Swalwell has survived walking and talking at the same time for this long.

A robot that makes sushi and pours beer perfectly? How soon can I get one intalled?

Oh man, some cops make thuggish comments online? Who woulda thought it? Next you’re gonna tell me that popes aren’t free of sin

An art film I might go see.

And speaking of robots…

My kid is home sick and bored. If I have to listen to one more episode of Rescuebots (an animated Transformers spinoff aimed at little kids), I’m probably going to lose my mind. There’s only one season, about 20 episodes, and in the last three or four weeks, we have played them all about 5 times. Even the occasional appearance of Optimus Prime can’t rescue it after this many casual viewings/listenings.

They may call these “cat-foxes”, but they just look like regular kitties to me.

Boeing 737-Max fix requires enough grip strength to open pickle jars. Pilots outraged they have to be as strong as the cabin crew.

And so the Battle for America’s Wang begins.

I’ll bet this is a dumpster fire.

Five hours of back-to-back(-to-back-to-back) meetings. I’m hungry, near comatose, and grumpy. How the hell are each and every one of you?

Angela Merkel appears to be the next hostess for the Elder God’s parasite.

Nebraska school district to start randomly testing students for nicotine. Fuck off, slavers!

Only 12 light years to Planet Libertopia. Let’s go! At least we won’t be here.

I’ll be taking a leave of absence to do this job. If picked, I’ll obviously be sporting glibs wear in all videos.

Instead of our usual video clip, we’re promoting a BBC feature on MAGA prime. The best, classiest hat to ever perch atop the Hair.

Howdy, Glibs. I hope the fathers among you were properly respected by your spawn yesterday, and that no new discoveries of extant children were in the offering. Its the dog days of summer here, and I wish I were anywhere but at this computer.

Here’s some really cool-looking Soviet-era tech that I would not be brave enough to ride in.

Ernst & Young’s UK branch scrapped degree-requirements for entry-level jobs. More like this in the US, please.

OMWC shared the opinion from Gamble v. US which is rage-inducing, except for Justice Gorsuch’s stellar dissent. An excerpt:

Viewed from the perspective of an ordinary reader of the Fifth Amendment, whether at the time of its adoption or in our own time, none of this can come as a surprise. Imagine trying to explain the Court’s separate sovereigns rule to a criminal defendant, then or now. Yes, you were sentenced to state prison for being a felon in possession of a firearm. And don’t worry—the State can’t prosecute you again. But a federal prosecutor can send you to prison again for exactly the same thing. What’s more, that federal prosecutor may work hand-in-hand with the same state prosecutor who already went after you. They can share evidence and discuss what worked and what didn’t the first time around. And the federal prosecutor can pursue you even if you were acquitted in the state case. None of that offends the Constitution’s plain words protecting a person from being placed “twice . . . in jeopardy of life or limb” for “the same offence.” Really?

Manic Neo-Nazi Dreamgirl pilloried for cashing in on queer bandwagon. Oh wait, it wasn’t her white supremacist fans who are doing the hating…

Oh shit, Lenny got shot by an off-duty cop. George is gonna be sad he didn’t get to send him to the farm with the rabbits.

Going old-school today, but not older-than-me school

I’m still a little bilious from SF’s Subaru House of Horrors. Male self-neutering… Too far, bro.

Lol. This guy isn’t Canada nice, eh? When the Rockets won their first title in ’95, my friends and I were waiting outside the Summit, and they opened the doors at the end of the game. I made it to the court in time to see the trophy handoff. Then sat in traffic for 2+ hours.

America morphs into Australia.

You have one shitty fecal transplant…

Look at these heroes, going home safe.

Because I hate you all, and this was on in a store.

Actually, I don’t know if I have enough Florida Man links to go around, but after yesterday’s enlaces, and the Rays’ mascot failing to come through on a promised connection, I’ll do my best.

I don’t really think you can get more Florida Man than this without eating someone’s face.

FSU to spin off athletics department into non-profit, merge with boosters. For all the hue-and-cry, UF has been organized such since 1929, and just because they’ve had a few bad apples along the way… well, this may actually be a terrible idea.

I love this guy. Oh, you need to access my computer? Here you go, and all your servers are belong to us!

Finally, fuck you cancer! We have lasers now!

This is the song I got mixed up on a couple nights ago. Dublin Blues, not London Homesick Blues. That’s bothered me for two days. I woke up 3 times last night trying to get the rest of the song in my head so I could get the song title. Teh Googles found it for me.

I have a doctor’s appointment today. Have to go in so they can tell my cholesterol is back below the “you’re going to die eventually” line. Wait…

Poor impulse control? In a jail cell? Say it ain’t so!

Joe, I think Trump is, in fact, a natural born citizen over 35 years old selected by the Electoral College, so its a bit of a lie to say he “fails the basic standard to be president”. Something about as ye sow, so shall ye reap, you coarse, lying moron.

Eyerolling-ly bad story one

Not exactly alternative medicine.

Now, I just hope that my doctor wasn’t reading that crazy-chick story when she asks me to turn my head and cough.

Hey guys, happy Monday. I’ll bet you’re all surprised they let me out of prison on Saturday. I know I was! Just kidding. But seriously, fuck prison. Everything is standing around and waiting for the Man. Even when you go to visit. Also, I took my kids to see a movie this weekend, and everyone was well-behaved and sat through the whole thing. Not like the bitch next to me who had her phone out the whole movie and was talking with her kid like they were in their living room. Fucking hate going to the movies. But it was one of those dine and watch places, so I had a drink to get me through it.

The worst part about this is Russian “airport security” is far less intrusive than here in the “freedom loving” US.

Terminators are coming!

Well I’m sure this report on diet will confirm everybody’s biases.

Being on an open tech ecosystem has its pluses and minuses.

A little bit of fun from the Geto Boyz. Bushwick Bill never got to do his Phuck Cancer tour, but fuck cancer

Happy Friday ever’body. I hope your weekends are all extra-spectacular. I’m going to prison tomorrow! Just to visit. One of my in-laws is an outlaw, and its time to go see him again. The best part about visiting prison is being reminded just how much it sucks to stand in line and wait on The Man — who often resemble the kids in high school who were too dim to follow the rules, or really get into trouble. Anyhow, my wife and I are leaving the kids with Grandma and Grandpa all day! So its like the ultimate Florida Man date!

Its gonna be really hard to remake A Face in the Crowd without small-town radio. Oh wait, we’ll just have him be a podcaster.

It seems like The City of the Future is always crumbling in the now.

On the one hand, its tough to grow the job rolls when everyone who wants a job has one, on the other hand, I wonder how Tucker is gonna spin this for Trump.

Props to the Navy for avoiding this collision. I know that hasn’t been a guarantee for them, lately.

Some of these guys can play their instruments.