Author: Sir Digby Classic

  • The Night Shift for September 21st, 2019

    OK, apes—listen up!  We’re at the weekend, again.  If you find that you aren’t, you need to check your chronometer and flux capacitor to figure out where when you’re supposed to be.  In trying to find my footing/style for these posts, I have come to the conclusion that they are, in part, a getting-to-know-you sort of thing.  So, If you are enjoying a hot, or cold, toddy while participating in my quest to find out more info on you jackanapes, while attempting to engage in some witty banter and probing discussions, you can consider yourself on a date, I guess.  We can go Dutch, but, I’m only gonna put out for a few of you.  So, let’s get to it:

    Well, if this is a date, we gotta start with date music:  Late-night style

    What is it about Ozymandias’ posts that get me to start writing up these posts, besides the lateness of said posts?  Such a good writer (if you’re not reading them, you are missing out, friend-o), about some serious stuff, considering everyone impacted in his tale-including fellow glibs who’ve served.  Salute to you all, from this Cadet Staff Sergeant.

    Hey, everyone:  The USN has seen some UFOs UAPs!  Yeah, it’s a Jazz Shaw piece, but, he’s not writing about cops, so you’re sorta safe.  Anyone want to hazard a guess as to what’s going on with this story?  I, personally, have no idea what to think of all this:  I’m fascinated that there’s a mystery to be solved, but, not convinced by an extra-terrestrial explanation.  I will say that I find it refreshing that there seems to be a more serious, and, “agnostic” approach to this by DoD than in the past.

    Wait—you weren’t planning on ordering the seafood, were you?

    What are your dreams?  No, seriously—what do you dream about?  A friend recently told me he is reading up on lucid dreaming (don’t you DARE link to Silent Lucidity), in the hopes of being able to accomplish it.  This is, apparently, due to (perceived) previous experience for him.  I haven’t looked into I; I’m pretty sure I’d just find the same things he has.  If you have any experience or info on the matter, I’d like to hear it.  And, yes:  I get the inherent danger of asking this group to talk about their subconsciouses.  I simply consider it a challenge.

    It seems that a gecko has taken a liking to one of the security cameras I view on my job.  He’s made an appearance every night this week, over the course of each shift, and doesn’t seem to be deterred by the plastic dome that covers the camera. Hey, little buddy!

    In Which Teddy Roosevelt Makes Men Everywhere Feel a Little Less Manly.  One helluva guy.  Too bad he was a politician.  Compare and contrast his life vs. Franklin’s—Go!

    I can honestly say that this evening has turned out better than past dates.

    Alright:  I had planned on ending on that last link.  But, since we lost my man Eddie this week, I have to honor him with a very apropos link.  Be sure to sing along.

  • The Night Shift for September 14th, 2019

    I’ve just finished reading Ozymandias’ latest installment on the U.S. Military/DoD Anthrax vaccine case.  Man, oh man—that is some powerful stuff.  It’s also a bit like watching a martial arts movie:  I want to imitate what I’ve just witnessed, but, who am I kidding?  Well, let’s get to it, shall we?

     

    A late-night appetizer, to get us started.

    I forgot the News of the Weird link last week.  Not again, you bastard!

    In my first article, I asked about the Glibertarian Discord set-up.  There are quite a few familiar and almost-forgotten names there.  Raphael, who straddles both of these worlds, was kind enough to provide a summation for us about the basics—“So Discord functions as a group instant messaging/chat platform. Think of it like Skype but without the video chat. Some articles that have popped up on the classic links threads have also made their way into discussions in the Discord server. There are also articles made by fellow Glibs that are linked to the Discord such as the Hat & Hair series, Woke Charmed Reviews, and The Awesome Adventures of Secret Nazi President Series. All the text-message channels are themed on topics so for example, articles/links/comments relating to firearm laws/gun-related questions are all posted in the specifically named #gun channel. Users can also tag other users in posts so they can be pinged/notified. This helps discussions on a particular issue to be continued with relative ease. There are also voice chat channels too so if some glibs want to play video games together, they can chat/coordinate strategies there too.

    I enjoy going between both the Discord and the mother site so I’m okay with either platform. I will admit though that the Discord is a bit easier to catch up on since it is an instant messaging platform and the topic channels there keep conversations mostly organized and on-topic. In the end, I like both services for glibbing it up and plan to keep doing so as long as I can.” — I am starting to use it a bit, myself.  There’s a bit of a learning curve for me, as I’m used to seeing used in terms of video game streamers, but, I admit, it can be fun.  Not as much fun as waiting around here for your wonderful posts…

    As I write this, I am reading that OrangeBadMan has kicked Michael John Bolton to the curb.  This will, no doubt, be old news by the time of this post, but, what a wonderfully weird situation.  Does this mean there is hope for a reduction in military adventurism for the U.S.?

    SP mentioned in her rant thread that TPTB are real-life friends.  And, I know that various glibs have met other, various glibs IRL.  So, who here is chummy with who, in meat-space (that you are willing to admit to)?  How often do these mixers take place?  What does it take to get on the invite list, if, say, one were interested in this sort of thing?  Where the hell my North Texas Glibs at?

    Which leads me to:  Vacations.  Where do you lot like to get away from your normal lives?  Is it season-dependent?  Close vs. far?  Pricey vs. cheap?  I’m not a well-traveled man, so, my selection pool is rather limited.  I, personally, love me some Redneck Riviera/Gulf Coast.   However, it’s a long car trip, made more difficult the older I get.  So, I tend to be happy with Port Aransas.  Oops!  Really, though; being from the largest U.S. city without a waterway makes me love my state’s crappy coastline that much more.   Tell me/us about the ‘Where’, even if it’s bucket list material.

    Another YT channel I’d like to pimp:  Steve1989MREinfo.  The guy tries out various MREs from around the world, including (very) old ones.  I don’t actually watch the videos of the rations that are out-of-date; I just show up for the modern ones.  The guy seems to have a sharp palate, and a really easy-going disposition.  I think he’ll eat just about any kind of food put before him.  Give his channel the once-over, and see what he has to offer.

    Finally, since we just had the 9/11 anniversary a few days ago, does anyone have a “Where were you?” story for 9/11 that you want to share?  I was a new 30-year-old working security with my friend’s dad (my dinner and coffee friend from my 2nd H&H t-shirt article), waiting patiently as I tired to get into my first LE job.  I worked overnights there, and saw the first reports as my shift was winding down.  I wasn’t fully sure what was going on, and, admittedly, it felt rather far away from me.  As I recall, I was taking “wait and see” attitude, since it didn’t really make a lot of sense in my mind, and I kinda-sorta thought I was witnessing aviation issues, not terrorism.

    Well, Borderlands 3 has arrived (It better have—Sir Digby on Thursday morning), so, I’m gonna be digging in to that while participating here.  As always, if you want me to include something in my posts, drop me a line on my Protonmail account (sir.digby.71).  Be excellent to each other!

  • The Night Shift for September 7th, 2019

    Since the first installment was such a smash hit with the author, I am back to entertain myself some more.  Almost 300 comments on the last one, about half of which were mine, so, this is a literal no-brainer.  If you want in on this, you gotta drop me an email, so I can incorporate your rubbish ideas and claim them for my own share them in an equitable fashion.  Let the discussions commence:

    Let’s all be cool, even if it’s just for five minutes and twenty seconds.

    I can’t help but think of my fellow glibs when I watch this video.  Not only do we get to see just how nice a place can become with enough authoritarianism, but, we also find out some helpful trivia regarding the most interesting room in any house.  Also, if you’re looking to be enlightened on a daily basis, maybe check out all the available knowledge on the Today I Found Out channel.

    Does everyone around here know the story of (former) officer Tom Coleman?  He, of the Swisher Sweets saga, in Tulia, Texas?  Whether or not he is/was a racist asshole, he’s definitely a dipshit.  That there are plenty of officers gypsy cops just like him around the country may be old news, but, it’s still frightening.

    You can’t spell “sword” without words.  And, you shouldn’t build a sword without sex toys.  (Crusty Juggler, I’m looking at you)

    CPRM casually brought up the idea of Subaru Horror Theater being animated, and, suggested that he could do it, if the $ is there.  I say, fund that mutha!  I’d drop some more coin to see it happen–who’s with me?  C’mon; raise your hand…

    Autumn is fast approaching–“Fall”, to the lazier among us.  I’ve seen lots of love for this particular season here on this very site, which makes me wonder why that is.  So, tell me why–what am I missing by not experiencing this time of year in your area?  It’s nothing big around here, apart from being able to comfortably wear the new jacket and/or long-sleeve shirts I got during the off-season.  That, the State Fair, and Cold & Flu season.   *Yes, I know many of you have already given adequate justification for it.  I’m just trying to generate some nighttime conversations, dammit!

    Speaking of the State Fair of Texas…This is where you go to walk around for a few hours in lovely south Dallas Fair Park, buy over-priced crap, and try the best in deep fried goodness.  Be warned, though, that it’s difficult to dethrone the King.  Life isn’t complete until you’ve had a Fletcher’s Corny Dog and a Big Red.  Rest assured, my non-meat-eating brethren and sistren, that they have a veggie dog, too.  And, to be honest…I’m just hoping to get some of you down here and watch you deep-throat a fried wiener.

    Still speaking of the State Fair of Texas–If any of you degenerates has plans to visit the Fair, or, wants to, I am nowhere near south Dallas any more (Praise Be!).  However, I would be more than honored to be a tour guide/fifth wheel if you require.  I can also introduce you to some of the best fajitas in existence.

    I’ll end this with a shout-out to all the lovely Suzies of the world

     

  • The Night Shift for August 31, 2019

    The Night Shift

    Greeting to all the Glib movers, shakers, makers, lurkers, dreamers, weirdos, and, assorted riff-raff. It is I, your fellow night-filer, Sir Digby! I know, I know—just hear me out. This is my first attempt at an ongoing article series for glibs of, shall we say, non-traditional hours. I’m not quite sure what this is going to end up looking like, but, my plan is to make this something of a pot-luck offering: recaps, shout-outs, questions to get us thinking… Oh, and links: plenty of links. So, buckle up (or, don’t—I ain’t your papa) and let’s dive in:

    I have something special for each of you.

    News of the Weird. Because, when I think ‘Glibertarians’…

    If it’s the case that, “When everyone is special, then no one is special”, can that reasoning be accurately applied as, “When it’s everyone’s problem, it’s no one’s problem”? I can’t help but think that things like this happens in plenty of places when people give up power to politicians. They end up effectively telling politicians to handle issues that don’t impact those politicians, and/or, don’t provide extra income for government actors. The citizenry is incentivized to pass the buck, and the stuff doesn’t get done. Of course, when someone gets the notion to actually do something as a private action, they get vilified by anyone threatened by the idea of a shrinking government.

    Have some pups, kittehs, and a baby kangaroo to make your night. Or day, if the sun’s up in your world. If you aren’t checking out Daily Dose of Internet, you should be involuntarily committed. Six million people can be wrong, but, not for subscribing to his page.

    Does anyone here watch One America News? I don’t think I have access to it via cable (not cord- cutting just yet!), but have in the past. Since it seems to be the Fox News little sister that no one pays any attention to, I am wondering what my fellow glibs have to say about their coverage/analysis. It seems the leftists hate it—are their criticisms valid? If so, would that be why they aren’t usually cited…well, anywhere that I have seen?

    Question Time: What’s your favorite humming noise?

    So, what’s the deal with the Glibertarian Discord? How does it “work” in conjunction with this site, if, at all? I feel like it could be my second third home, but, I seem to just associate it with Twitch streamers, and I put it out of my mind for the glibs. But, a scroll through the various sub-threads shows several contributors that I see here regularly, some that I recognize from the long-ago, and some where I just draw a blank.

    Can’t get enough of leftist shenanigans in higher education? Oh, me neither! I highly recommend you check out Benjamin Boyce’s video series on what happened on Evergreen State College in 2017. Just be sure to have something for headaches and for vomiting handy (especially when you get to around the 7th part). Trust me on this.

    I know many around here aren’t big on birthday acknowledgements. However, since I got so many well-wishes from my compatriots here this month, and I saw that Yusef and Lord Humongous were celebrated as well, I want to be contrarian. So, I’ll close up the month with a Happy Birthday to all of us August-born Glibs! And, if you don’t like bacon birthdays, well, then the hell wit’cha!

    Let’s close this out with some very appropriate music.

    *If you like having a night post for the weekends, and approve of this format, or, have suggestions on how to improve it, please say so in the comments–I am hoping this can be a collaborative effort.

  • Sir Digby’s Adventures in Product Promotion, pt. II

    It’s your ol’ buddy, Sir Digby, once again.  If you remember Part 1, I was about to have a delicious lunch, when I realized I still had a t-shirt with a certain grinning politician that needed to be introduced to the world at large.  As I was working on getting the finishing touches of my last article complete, I had a lot on my mind:  Where would I go to showcase Gropin’ Joe?  How would my first article be received, and, when?  Did I just sleep funny, or is that a more serious pain?

    Well, my article went up, and I was very happy with the reception (TYVM).  I was actually doing work-related training on the day it posted, so, I wasn’t on my regular night shift.  I’m not much of a sunlight person, so, I was a bit out of sorts that day, but, very glad it went up in the evening time.  I found out that participating in comments about your own article is…strange.  Even more so when there are Dem presidential debates going on.  Ultimately, it was all good.  Although, I will say, some of you seemed like you were hoping I got my ass kicked.  In a purple H&H shirt.  E tu, glibe?

    As it turns out, my schedule that week allowed me to take care of some business that I was not only dreading, but, that I knew would take forty forevers.  You guessed it:  I had to renew my driver license.  If you recall, in my first article, I made a side joke about not going to the DMV in the H&H shirt.  Doing so never really crossed my mind, even though I knew I had to do the renewal dance.

    Yeah, yeah-just use your imagination
    I wanted a pic of carousel from Logan’s Run.

    Much like Carousel, I wasn’t sure that I would come out of my trip to the DMV office alive.  OK; that’s, maybe, a little heavy-handed.  However, my previous experiences cause me to view a trip there like I would a trip to the unemployment office—the dregs of humanity, along with some unfortunate souls (like me) having to wade through the dark sea of government bureaucracy.  I’ve spoken of my love for my Texas on several occasions. I also warn that, as much of a reputation that the state has earned for possibly being “Wild West” in our collective outlook, we actually do love us some government.  More than we should and, more than you might think, if you’ve never been here.  Almost 50 years of this, and I continue to be amazed and bothered by it.  Technically, I’m a government employee, too, so I see it from inside and out.  It’s just that I’m trained to move a little faster in completing my tasks.

    I will now try to build you a picture of all this (without my own photos).  Driver license offices in Texas—technically, Texas Department of Public Safety-Driver License Division—are at least as much a pain as whatever your state has.  There has always been a wait for customers, if you had to go in to one of the offices.

    Might as well be.

    Even with online renewals, it’s a crap-fest, since DPS requires that you come in on every other renewal.  Renewed online last go-round?  Congrats!  You get to climb on the hamster wheel!  I think renewing your Texas CHL is less a pain in the ass, even when you have to re-qualify.  At least then, you can pretend the target is IN NO WAY a bureaucrat, or, a state employee…::ahem::

    At some point, the powers that be decided that they would give “mega centers” a shot.  Essentially, a really big driver license office, based in larger metropolitan areas.  I happen to be less than six miles from one of these beasts, so, it was the obvious choice.  I had to research online to see where, exactly, it’s located, as I have been by the supposed area many times, and never saw the building.  Big mistake.  Just look at the Yelp pictures for this very location:

    https://www.yelp.com/biz_photos/texas-department-of-public-safety-driver-license-center-carrollton

    What the hell was I getting myself into?  No—what the hell was I being forced into by the State of Texas?  It turns out that, at these mega centers, you can get in line online.  According to my supervisor, it has to be done right at opening, regardless of where you are.   Of course, when I get online at 7:01 in the a.m., the appointment time wasn’t until almost 2:30.  But, I needed to stay up for about 24 hours this particular day, so, why not??

    As fate would have it, I was there less than 30 minutes.  This includes registering as “arrived” at a computer kiosk, sitting for less than 10 minutes, then, getting ushered with a couple of other people to start a new line away from the others.  I was actually sitting down with a clerk in less than 15 minutes.  “What?  My application?  Ack!”  I had forgotten to fill one out (FML).  The clerk gave me a sort-of sideways glance (was it because of Gropin’ Joe’s visage?), and, with that, handed me a blank form (Go Joe!).  I even had my official Texas Driver License picture taken in “the shirt”, and was on my way soon after.

    Huh…that was really a big nothing-burger.  I think I’m beginning to see a trend with my wearing of these shirts:  Other than quick glances at the design, no one was saying squat.

    I spent actual $ on this. FML
    Not the author’s actual eyebrows.

    I was going to have to come up with another outing with Gropin’ Joe to complete the experiment, and, I came up with what I figured would be the crowning jewel of this thought experiment.  Thing is, I’ve started having monthly dinner-and-coffee meet-ups with a life-long friend/former LE co-worker who has a very libertarian disposition.  He tends to joke around with wait staff, especially staff of the female variety, which might be just the ticket for an H&H merchandise discussion.  On a side note, I would like to get him posting here; I think he would fit right in with the gliberati, even if he is Tulpa.

    The meet-up Saturday rolled around, and we got started a couple of hours earlier than usual.  I explained the social experiment aspect of my attire, and what I would be watching for while we were out.  He was on-board with my quasi-plan, and, after discussing possibly playing some pool, we decided that the standard places were a fine choice after all, and we headed out for delicious Tex-Mex.  But, wouldn’t you know it–our normal Mexican food hang-out was packed, so, we settled on some Mongolian stir-fry.

    You want alt-text? Go eat at GG!
    Tasty Mongolian stir-fry

    I hadn’t been to Genghis in a while, and this place always seems to be re-inventing some portion of itself.  The hostess was a real pistol, and was willing to joke with my friend, as he started his banter.  This would end up being the most promising point in the night for an interaction over my apparel.  And, by that, I mean, I am almost positive that she saw my shirt, and was sharing in my friend’s humor a bit.  Beyond that?  Nada.  The meal was good, but, my friend was so exhausted from his week’s work that he didn’t even want to eat.  It was also busy enough that we weren’t going to delve too deeply into our usual conversations in the restaurant, so I finished up my bowl, and we headed off to the coffee house.

    neither the cups, nor the waitresses are bottomless
    Home of the bottomless, er…endless coffee cup.

    Presuming you don’t know, Café Brazil is a coffee house/diner with (wait for it…) a Brazilian flair.  Their food has always been middlin’ to excellent, but, we just come for the endless coffee cups.  They usually set out three or so of their blends, their unleaded counterparts, and dairy-based additives.  My friend, being a smoker, prefers to sit outside on what passes for their patio.  I’m OK with this, even if it is a Texas Summer, although I was a bit worried about our earlier starting time this evening.

    It had actually cooled down quite a bit by the time we arrived and took our seats.  I mean, it doesn’t really “cool down” in a North Texas Summer, but, this was tolerable.  We had our usual discussion about family, work, and just how effed up people are vis-à-vis government power, especially in the realm of law enforcement.  Of course, talk like that is inherently boring, and in no way should there be any website that deals in such what builds and strengthens friendships, and I highly recommend that you try it sometime!

    Well, the foot traffic was rather light that evening.  One of the better things about sitting outside is to see the parade of people without being so close that you inherently get pulled in to any stranger drama, or, having them drawn into yours.  This particular location just happens to be a couple of miles from Southern Methodist University.  For those in the know, or, who’ve ever been around an American university in a Southern state*, you can probably envision the types that make their way into said coffee-diner.  Depending on particulars, my friend has been known to engage with some of these strangers.  However, the combination of multiple factors, not the least of which was the dearth of interesting candidates, meant that no friendly banter would be forthcoming this night.

    *What’s that?  “That image would apply to just about any American university, Sir Digby”, you say?  Meh…I don’t get out much.

    As you might have guessed, it wasn’t long after this rather humid evening that I received my oh-so-precious license.  Since I went into the endeavor with a purpose other than staying ‘street-legal’, I have to say that I’m rather happy with the final product:

    Actually, these ARE the author's eyebrows.
    The Gropin’ Joe shirt:  Immortalized for 5-10 years

    OK—only the collar is visible.  She’s not Ansel Adams, so I’m not going to down her for that.  It was, overall, not a bad experience; much better than the visions that played in my imagination prior to the appointment.  I got my permission from my benevolent overlords to convey myself on the motorways, and it only cost me $25.  Woo.  Hoo.

    So; there you have it.  The shirts got some quick glances, but generated no conversations.  I’m not the most approachable person; I’m no Mr. Suave, to be sure.  I did, however, have a pretty wide swath of potential victims, er… takers in my travels, and I would think that I would have had at least just one person express curiosity.  But, noooooo!  Not these unsophisticated yokels!  And, let me assure you:  I bathed prior to each outing, so it wasn’t my natural funk driving the masses away.  Nor was it the shirts themselves:  They are definitely high-quality products, and you, too, can pick up a couple over at www.redbubble.com/people/cprm/.  If you’re looking for a comfy, snazzy shirt that supports a fellow glib, and a minimum amount of interactions with strangers is your preference, I highly recommend.  My shirts are currently hanging up; freshly laundered, and waiting for their turn in the rotation.  If I manage to generate any conversations with either of them, I’m sure I’ll let you all know.

    Maybe I’ll take Crusty Juggler with me on the next outing…

  • A Dark July

    No alt; just a shirt

     

    As I write this, it is the third anniversary of the ambush attack on police in downtown Dallas, in 2016.  As a by-product of the incident, I no longer work at the job I had when the attack occurred. While I have recounted parts of the story for others, I haven’t really done so for the glib crew.  It’s not my intent to walk you through the attack itself—three years has blurred a lot of what happened.  Rather, I want to talk about the part I played in this mess and the fallout from it in my life.  If you’d like a good report on the attack, this link offers the most comprehensive look at the attack of any I’ve seen.

    At the time of the attack, I was the senior Police Communications Supervisor for the Dallas County Community College District.  I was at just about 11 years on the job, with eight of them as supervisor.  To help paint this picture, let me give a brief explanation as to how DCCCD operated at the time.  There are seven ‘main’ campuses, along with satellite campuses, and various other locations that handle administrative, technical, and/or other educational matters.  At the time, the seven main campuses all had their own police departments—seven different chiefs, seven different ways of doing things.  The dispatch center is located at a campus in the northwest section of the county, and, it was at that campus’ police department that I was employed, followed chain-of-command, etc.  However, the functions of the dispatch center were considered ‘District’ functions:  all campuses paid to fund us, and, we dispatched for all seven PDs.  It was a pretty messy situation, and I will discuss some of it later on.  (If you have questions on anything I don’t cover, feel free to ask me in the comments.)

    Being the supervisor, I rarely did the normal dispatching functions.  I was mostly a baby-sitter, and did more to ensure things ran as smoothly as could be expected.  I had plenty of fires that I battled in regards to employees, along with trying to increase professionalism in a place where it was often opposed.  Due to the design limitations of the center, my helping out usually came in the form of call-taking.  If I had to be on the radio, it was usually on a portable radio (walkie-talkie).  Most of the time, when I helped out, it was because we were short-handed.

    On Thursday, July 7th, 2016, we were short-handed.

    That day, it was just me and one other dispatcher, V (not Xer real name).  V was, and, is, a very capable dispatcher, with no previous dispatching experience prior to her being hired at the college.  What V does have is a Masters’ in Criminal Justice, and a really good work ethic.  Xe would be handling dispatching duties that evening, while I took phone calls.  For some reason, Thursdays were always the busiest day of the week for us.  It was an odd situation, and I came to dread Thursdays, even though I wasn’t usually doing much of the heavy lifting in the center.  I don’t recall it being a particularly bad shift, prior to the notification we received from an officer at El Centro (the campus located in downtown Dallas) about yet another protest scheduled to take place that evening.

    There had been other protests in the area of the college, none of which had been an issue.  So, hearing that there was a scheduled protest that evening didn’t really mean anything for us, presuming everyone behaved as they had previously.  V and I just presumed that we would hear various radio chatter from the El Centro officers, while all the other campuses went about their normal activities.  We were very wrong.

    What I remember is that, not long into the protest march, we heard an officer report that they heard something that sounded like gunfire, and that Dallas PD was reporting shots fired in the area. Once we heard that, I think we both sort of tightened up internally, and prepared for…well, something to happen.  This was just after 9:00 p.m., as I recall, and it continued on until well after midnight, as it went from the street into the actual campus building.  We ended up being tasked with helping the El Centro officers communicate with the Dallas PD units that responded by taking phone calls and relaying information over the radio.  While there are state-based emergency radio channels that any agency can use for coordinating with other agencies, I can tell you that Dallas Police does not believe in sharing their radio frequencies with other agencies.  The 800-pound gorilla does what it wants, regardless of the other animals.

    Since I was handling telephones, I was dealing with incoming calls, as well as having to make calls to various college personnel to help the responding SWAT units negotiate the building safely.  I also took a call from people in a classroom on the campus that were essentially trapped inside as the madman made his way into the building, trading gunfire with various officers.  We told the El Centro Chief about the people in the classroom, but, in the chaos, the officers must have forgotten about them.  It took about another 1.5-2 hours before I got another call from the group, asking if it was safe for them to leave.  At that point, the decision had been made for Dallas PD to use explosives (honest-to-God C4), and they needed the building cleared.  The class would finally be getting out, just in the nick of time.

    During this time, we had a shift change in Dispatch.  This happens at 10:00, and V’s relief, J, walked in on what was probably one of the most chaotic shifts xe’s ever had.  J had previous experience dispatching private security, so xe hadn’t experienced anything of this magnitude before.  I can say, proudly, that they were absolutely fantastic in their performances, and I was able to handle my work without having to constantly monitor them.

    I should point out here that the most significant thing about working the phones that night was how busy it wasn’t.  In a situation like this, I would normally expect tons of calls by the media, as well as calls from frantic parents out of their minds over their children.  This would even include high school-age teens who were taking classes on campus.  In this situation, though, it was late enough in the evening that most classes had begun to let out.  Add to this the fact that it was mid-Summer, which isn’t exactly the busiest time of year for attending college.  As for media calls, most local news was already on scene when the shooting began.  They all witnessed what was happening in real time, and didn’t need to call us to try to get a statement.  This facet of the incident has always felt surreal to me, since things were, in all honesty, easier on us than it should have been.  Far be it from me, though, to look the proverbial gift horse in the mouth-any mercy is appreciated a situation such as that night.

    The standoff ended just before 1:30 a.m.  I was ordered to stay until 2:00, when the other supervisor came in to relieve me.  I left knowing that the shooter was dead, and that the team of officers from the various agencies was attempting to secure the area to ensure there were no other threats.  I also left knowing that things were going to be very different in the aftermath.  The district hadn’t lost any officers in the shooting, although a couple had sustained minor/medium injuries.  Truth be told, I had officers at other campuses that had been wounded more severely in a stabbing attack a few years earlier.  However, I wasn’t ready for what wouldn’t happen after this.

    Two weeks after the shooting, my Chief popped in to the room with an email in hand.  It turns out that the Chief from El Centro was mad as hell because no incident report had been written, and my Chief wanted to know if I could explain why.  When I looked at the call sheet of the incident in our CAD (computer aided dispatching), there was no report number attached to it.  The process was (and always will be) that an officer, who will be writing a report, asks Dispatch to issue them a report number.  The CAD has a button on each call sheet to do just that, and the dispatcher clicks it, and a few other tick boxes, and voila’!  In this case, though, no officer had ever requested a report number.  Dispatchers don’t determine who’s writing a report—we respond to a request from an officer.  If no one asks for it…well, it’s not on Dispatch’s shoulders to move this along.  However, the El Centro Chief, who was supposed to have had several years command experience at other agencies outside of Texas, apparently didn’t understand this.  The FBI wanted El Centro’s report, and he was in the spotlight with a certain appendage in his hand.  And, by God, Dispatch needed to answer for this!  It didn’t help matters that my Chief didn’t understand this protocol, and that I had to explain it to him first.  This resulted in my having to whip up an email explaining the steps to two Chiefs, who should have known about them before this point.

    Did I mention that V was on duty, and heard when our Chief brought this issue up?  Did I also mention that, other than a verbal pat on the back from my Captain (my direct supervisor) at the end of the shooting, there had been not one bit of positive feed-back about our efforts that night?  Yeah, it was a shit situation.  One of the two dispatch superstars from that night heard the only feedback from outside our office, and it was a Police Chief complaining about something we didn’t do.  It was also at this point that I realized that my boss hadn’t said anything to me in regards to recognizing the ladies for their work.  This was odd, because every other time an award was brought up for a dispatcher, it started with an order from the Captain to put it together.  When I realized that he hadn’t said anything to me about it, I questioned him, and got a, “Well, go ahead and make something up.”  His blasé attitude was shocking, considering that, for the last eight years, I had to run everything past him, and he had always initiated any awards.

    On top of this, things began to seriously change on a larger scale.  The District had previously planned to hire a Police Commissioner to be over the entire District.  It was a newly designed position that had already been created and approved, with a candidate set to start at the beginning of the fiscal year.  However, they decided to rush her hiring, and she started around the beginning of August.  This, in turn prompted my Chief to retire early.  He had become fed up with the direction the District was moving in regards to the Commissioner, and plans to unify the seven departments into one.  He told me that, on top of removing college administrative duties from his role, the powers-that-be had lied to him about what the Chiefs’ positions would be like when the Commissioner came into play.  He had planned to retire in January or February of 2017, but he decided he had had enough, and nope out at the end of August.

    It took two months to get the awards designed, approved, and printed in-house.  TwoMonths.  It might have only taken one month if my Captain hadn’t kept them sitting on his desk for weeks.  The speed at which he wasn’t moving on these things was breath-taking.  Of course, we had to wait for my Chief to get back from his pre-retirement vacation, so that he could sign the awards, which then had to be framed before I could present them.

    The entire time I was waiting, I was growing more and more enraged at the deafening silence around the work my dispatchers did that night.  Other than a quick, “good job” from my Chief and Captain, nobody outside our office said a positive word about them.  Of course, we don’t do the job looking for recognition.  But, a certificate in a frame is really just bupkis.  I tried to tell them every time I saw them that I was proud of the work they did, and that I was sorry no one else had given them any recognition.  We all understood that the El Centro officers were going to be in the limelight—they were the ones in the line of fire.  To us, though, it just seemed like we didn’t exist in the eyes of the District’s Board of Trustees.  We already knew how the El Centro Chief saw us.  Hell, the District never even offered a debriefing or counseling for us, which is standard practice for events like this.  I don’t know if I would have attended if it had been offered, but, it would have been nice to have the opportunity. Once I had the certificates in my possession, I was able to schedule V and J on the same shift.  I arranged with the officers from our shift at our campus to have a family meal from Babe’s Chicken, and I bought them dinner to go along with the awards.

    At some point after the arrival of the new Commissioner, my boss held a meeting where he told us that there were plans to eventually move the dispatch office to the downtown area of Dallas.  It was just a plan, but, one on which they would be going forward.  It was going to be a five-year plus time frame, but, we would end up with new digs, and a much longer commute.  I live in another county, quite a ways north of Dallas.  There was no way in Hell I was going to make that commute for that job.  The writing was on the wall, and thus began my search for another agency.  I didn’t want to be a supervisor with DCCCD any more, and, stepping down wasn’t really an option.  I had made enough enemies with some of the people I supervised, and going back to a peer status with them would have been untenable. As it was, another college district—one I had actually applied to about four years prior—was hiring.  I decided to move forward with the process and am actually their most senior dispatcher.  Of course, that’s its own story.

    I hesitated for a long time in talking about my job in comments on the site.  I may not be a sworn officer, but police work isn’t usually a pleasant topic amongst libertarian types, for good reason (ahem).  However, it was during my time at DCCCD that I became a libertarian, and I began to see the profession for what it currently is.  Interestingly, college-based policing is quite a bit different in many respects, and, I’m fortunate that my current agency is far more service-oriented, and, far less punitive than standard municipal/county policing. On top of that, none of my fellow glibs has ever treated me poorly over my employment, for which I am grateful.

    I realize that I probably skipped over a lot of points that would make for a more in-depth article.  As I stated earlier, if you have questions, I’ll answer to the best of my ability.  It was a surreal night, and I’ve not dwelled on it that much since I left the District.  I’ve tried to utilize what I witnessed/experienced for training others, so, it’s not for nothing.  When I left, I recommended V for my position, which xe got.  As far as I know, xe settled into the work easily enough.  The last I heard, J was still working overnights, just as I do now.  While I stay away from old work haunts, I wish the best for them.  They deserve it, regardless of who notices.

     

    **Thanks to CPRM, for helping me protect against some gender presumption

  • Sir Digby’s Adventures in Product Promotion

    I want a report on your initial excursions wearing the shirts. That could be a nice article.
    You could have pictures of the shirts, and such. It’s time you Contributed, boy!

    – CPRM


     

    As you probably know by now, CPRM has a The Hat and The Hair merch store on CafePress, and, after heeding my advice, has opened one on Redbubble, too.  I’ve been buying crap stuff from Redbubble over the last several months, and really like the scope/variety and quality of what they offer.  It also helps that Redbubble is always having some kind of sale/online coupon (hint, hint).  So, when his store went up, of course I was gonna buy something.  And, that something was t-shirts.

    I decided on the classic H&H design, as well as a Gropin’ Joe 2020 shirt.  Redbubble has a lot of different styles of shirts for men/unisex, women, and kids.  I always go with their ‘classic’ t-shirt, which is made using Gildan tees—medium weight with easy-to-remove tags.  I can’t speak as to what the other styles use.  Maybe you should go check them out and see what they offer.

    The shirt color selection was the most difficult part of this process.  I usually eschew lighter colors in t-shirts. However, the designs require a lighter background in order to see everything clearly—to really make ‘em pop!  On top of this, I try to have some variety in my t-shirt collection, which I usually accomplish with t-shirts of various (dark) colors.  Purple seemed to preview the H&H design well on the site, so, purple it was.  I broke with my usual habit, and chose light blue for the Gropin’ Joe shirt.  It just seemed so…correct.  After a few button pushes, they were paid for, and all I had to do was wait for them to arrive.

    In a mere eight days, it was mail call.  Here’s the star of our show:

    I don't need no instructions to know how to rock!
    The Namesake

    Here’s Joe—with a smile that just takes hold of you:

    Yes, Joe; you're very metal...
    That smile….

    An interesting fact about Redbubble’s shirts:  They stink.  I mean, the chemical smell is pretty strong.  It’s a glue-like smell that’s from the manufacturing process.  They even come with these little notes, attached by miniature clothes pins, that I could have sworn talked about the smell.  I must be remembering something from an earlier order.  Anyway, here are a couple of pics of those tags:

    Very sweet of you, Redbubble
    I thought it told you the shirts stink. Guess I was wrong.
    In case you forgot
    They sure know how to promote themselves.

    They put these on each and every t-shirt in an order.  Why?  Make-ready work, I guess.  In any event, it doesn’t seem very eco-friendly to me.  I note this because Redbubble is an Aussie company, whose State-side presence is an office in San Francisco.  They also include at least one company sticker in each order, although they sometimes put in several.

    I'll pass, thank you.
    Zombie Pandas?
    It's the one on the upper right.
    A smattering of stickers

    They are a quasi-nice little ‘extra’, and, I admit I look forward to seeing which ones I get.  They seem to have a rather limited pool of designs from which they pick, so, the experience can be kind of ‘meh’.  I have to admit that I’m not keen on “zombie pandas”; cute, or, gruesome, but not both. If I had my druthers, I would go with the quasi-The Quiet Earth design. They probably know this, and are just screwing with me.  Now that the shirts have arrived, though, they need to be washed, air-dried, then put through a few “fluff” cycles (I am not a Philistine!), which will take the better part of a day.

    Though all of this, CPRM’s words kept sounding in my brain:  “It’s time you Contributed, boy!”   Do a write-up of buying and wearing t-shirts.  Not exactly Hunter S. Thompson territory, but I’d give it a shot.  That led me to the question:  Just where would I carry out this task?   CPRM suggested that I go to a Starbucks –he’s such a kidder!  If I did that, I probably wouldn’t stick around after getting my order, considering I even managed to find something worth giving them money.  No, this was going to have to be somewhere where I would conceivably spend time productively, while surrounded by other humans, which also ruled out the DMV.

    If it's so super, why are they using the wrong symbol?
    A fancy Target, apparently.

    I figured that I might as well get some regular retail shopping done, and, this just happened to be the location of previous unexpected interactions with strangers (no changing rooms were involved, dammit).  I considered the fact that it has a Starbuck’s inside only slightly ironic.  “Slightly”, because it is a Target in Plano, Texas:  an area where people seem to crave burnt, over-priced coffee.  I’d have to swing a really big “dead cat” to find suitable alternatives, and, yes-I’m excluding McCafé.

    The first associate that said “Hi” to me did seem to take a quick scan of my shirt, but nothing came of it.  That would describe just about every interaction I had that day.  Moms with their kids; busy clerks merchandising whatever section they happened to be in; wanderers like me.  Some eye contact, and, maybe a quick scan of the shirt, but, no reactions.  I shopped for about an hour and a half.  Actually, it was mostly just wandering around and seeing if I could find anything worthwhile.  I actually had a mission of sorts, that I will get to in the next section.  While I probably missed out on a greater opportunity for chat by going to a self-checkout line, I did end up getting assistance from the poor guy who has to fix screw-ups (I scanned the wrong barcode on a sale item).  Nada from him, too.  Paid, and out the door, it was time for a quick stop at the booze shop.

    Speaking of 'fancy': hoo boy!
    Just use your imagination, people!

    I didn’t even think of taking a picture of the store.  Mostly because, I was on a mission to get the FIL a belated Father’s Day gift.  It seems Amazon just up and lost track of it sometime over the holiday weekend, and, we didn’t find out until this particular day.  As it was, we were headed up to see my In-laws the day after all of this, so, we would just take him some hooch.  He is fond of a certain blackberry Merlot that I had introduced him to some years back, and I needed to stop at the only store I could find that carried it.  It was a last-minute addition to my excursion, and it only barely registered with me that I might have an opportunity for explaining this cartoon president on my shirt.  I needed help finding this back-water gem, and the clerk that drew the short straw with me was very helpful.  I didn’t sense much interest in him, until just as we were parting company.  I saw that he gave the shirt a scan (Hey!  My eyes are up here!), when I thought I caught just the barest hint of a question forming about it.  I guess he thought better about getting wrapped up in a conversation about a funny YouTube animated series.  Your loss, Mr. alcohol-finder-helper-guy.  A quick monetary exchange at the register—I couldn’t sense any curiosity in the cashier—and I was off to…

    too many damned trees!
    It’s some kind of thumb, I think.

    I had to buy rice.  It was as thrilling and lively as that sounds.  Most of the shoppers were older folk.  A couple of moms with kids.  It was a big goose egg.  Even the checkout clerk managed to avoid eye contact.  So much for customer service, I guess.  I went with Success Boil-in-bag rice, and, some Tony Chachere’s Chicken flavored rice, if you’re curious.  Of course, I remembered to take a picture here, where there was no place that allowed for an unobstructed shot.  After almost burning out my retinas in the noon sun, I was ready for my last stop.

    The black hole of Frisco
    Not just a partial Costco, you see.

    While I had hoped that the Mecca of warehouse-club consumerism would be more fertile ground, I had become sort of pessimistic.  The greeter/card-checker was pleasant enough, and, he did seem to look directly at the shirt for a good second.  We exchanged “hellos”, and in I went.  Damn; I thought he might jump.  OK, I had my shopping list, and figured that I would take a sort of ‘hover/saunter’ approach. I would take my time making picks, in order to give others a chance to get a good look at the shirt.  I would consider the area to be conservative, and, it wouldn’t be out of line to find some people that got a chuckle out of the design.  Pork chops:  check.  Cherries and blueberries:  check.  USDA Prime tenderloin cuts:  you better believe that’s a check.  I was in my grocery element, trying to not be too obvious in flaunting my wardrobe choice.  As it turns out, I wasn’t too obvious.  At all.  Even when I picked up a Costco rotisserie chicken, the guys in the back barely took notice of me.  And, it was a glorious chicken, indeed.

    I'll take this bullet for our vegetarian friends.
    Golden Brown Perfection

    C’mon—the butcher/meat counter guys should be a prime demographic for a curious chuckle at the expense of The Hat and The Hair.  Really?  Did I need to wave them down?  Tom Thumb meat counter dudes were always talkative; maybe Costco thought their people didn’t need to go that route when it came to cutting up meat for their customers?  After what seemed like a Target amount of time wandering the store, I was ready to check out.  They had self-checkout lines, which was new to me.  Probably another poor choice on my part if I wanted human interaction, but I was curious to see if these were a good idea for Costco (they were/are).  I had also come to not expect much conversation from these employees, due to the need to keep the lines moving.  They had a screw-up fixer who hovered around the kiosks to watch for whatever evil might crop up in a Costco checkout line.  He did a quick sweep by me, with some kind of greeting.  I was actually concentrating on the process, as I didn’t bring my bags inside with me, and I was trying to calculate if I had enough room on the pressurized counter.  It was awkward unloading a cart, just to load it back up the same way, but I got through the ordeal unscathed.  On the way out, while passing the food court seating, I realized I was being stared at by a young guy who was aaalmost in the right league for the half-ugly blonde sitting next to him.

    You eye-ballin’ me, son?  ‘Cause I’ll whoop you like Patton for a-

    Oh, right; the t-shirt!  Actually, he was giving me a sort of half-sneer that could have either been aimed at me, or, the shirt.  Maybe both; I’m sure I presented some sort of challenge to his sexual primacy, wearing this funky fresh example of CPRM’s cleverness.  In hindsight, I really shouldn’t blame the guy.  Hell, if I had to do it over again, I would have let him know that he could get his own H&H swag at www.redbubble.com/people/cprm  It might actually make a man out of him.

    And, that was that.  I was finished with my excursion and needed to get home so I could unpack.  It was pretty much a goose egg for me in this experiment.  I just needed to record my observations and thoughts on the day.  I arrived just before a shipment of some of the finest coffee around was delivered, which picked up my spirits immensely.  I think the postal delivery lady scanned the shirt, but I can’t be sure—she was already smiling when we exchanged pleasantries.  It was about this time that CPRM’s words crept up on me again: “wearing the shirts.”  Right!  I have a Gropin’ Joe t-shirt that the world hasn’t seen.  Damn…  Well, I’ll have to worry about that later.

    Right now, I have a lunch date with a Costco rotisserie chicken.