It’s your ol’ buddy, Sir Digby, once again. If you remember Part 1, I was about to have a delicious lunch, when I realized I still had a t-shirt with a certain grinning politician that needed to be introduced to the world at large. As I was working on getting the finishing touches of my last article complete, I had a lot on my mind: Where would I go to showcase Gropin’ Joe? How would my first article be received, and, when? Did I just sleep funny, or is that a more serious pain?
Well, my article went up, and I was very happy with the reception (TYVM). I was actually doing work-related training on the day it posted, so, I wasn’t on my regular night shift. I’m not much of a sunlight person, so, I was a bit out of sorts that day, but, very glad it went up in the evening time. I found out that participating in comments about your own article is…strange. Even more so when there are Dem presidential debates going on. Ultimately, it was all good. Although, I will say, some of you seemed like you were hoping I got my ass kicked. In a purple H&H shirt. E tu, glibe?
As it turns out, my schedule that week allowed me to take care of some business that I was not only dreading, but, that I knew would take forty forevers. You guessed it: I had to renew my driver license. If you recall, in my first article, I made a side joke about not going to the DMV in the H&H shirt. Doing so never really crossed my mind, even though I knew I had to do the renewal dance.
Much like Carousel, I wasn’t sure that I would come out of my trip to the DMV office alive. OK; that’s, maybe, a little heavy-handed. However, my previous experiences cause me to view a trip there like I would a trip to the unemployment office—the dregs of humanity, along with some unfortunate souls (like me) having to wade through the dark sea of government bureaucracy. I’ve spoken of my love for my Texas on several occasions. I also warn that, as much of a reputation that the state has earned for possibly being “Wild West” in our collective outlook, we actually do love us some government. More than we should and, more than you might think, if you’ve never been here. Almost 50 years of this, and I continue to be amazed and bothered by it. Technically, I’m a government employee, too, so I see it from inside and out. It’s just that I’m trained to move a little faster in completing my tasks.
I will now try to build you a picture of all this (without my own photos). Driver license offices in Texas—technically, Texas Department of Public Safety-Driver License Division—are at least as much a pain as whatever your state has. There has always been a wait for customers, if you had to go in to one of the offices.
Even with online renewals, it’s a crap-fest, since DPS requires that you come in on every other renewal. Renewed online last go-round? Congrats! You get to climb on the hamster wheel! I think renewing your Texas CHL is less a pain in the ass, even when you have to re-qualify. At least then, you can pretend the target is IN NO WAY a bureaucrat, or, a state employee…::ahem::
At some point, the powers that be decided that they would give “mega centers” a shot. Essentially, a really big driver license office, based in larger metropolitan areas. I happen to be less than six miles from one of these beasts, so, it was the obvious choice. I had to research online to see where, exactly, it’s located, as I have been by the supposed area many times, and never saw the building. Big mistake. Just look at the Yelp pictures for this very location:
https://www.yelp.com/biz_photos/texas-department-of-public-safety-driver-license-center-carrollton
What the hell was I getting myself into? No—what the hell was I being forced into by the State of Texas? It turns out that, at these mega centers, you can get in line online. According to my supervisor, it has to be done right at opening, regardless of where you are. Of course, when I get online at 7:01 in the a.m., the appointment time wasn’t until almost 2:30. But, I needed to stay up for about 24 hours this particular day, so, why not??
As fate would have it, I was there less than 30 minutes. This includes registering as “arrived” at a computer kiosk, sitting for less than 10 minutes, then, getting ushered with a couple of other people to start a new line away from the others. I was actually sitting down with a clerk in less than 15 minutes. “What? My application? Ack!” I had forgotten to fill one out (FML). The clerk gave me a sort-of sideways glance (was it because of Gropin’ Joe’s visage?), and, with that, handed me a blank form (Go Joe!). I even had my official Texas Driver License picture taken in “the shirt”, and was on my way soon after.
Huh…that was really a big nothing-burger. I think I’m beginning to see a trend with my wearing of these shirts: Other than quick glances at the design, no one was saying squat.
I was going to have to come up with another outing with Gropin’ Joe to complete the experiment, and, I came up with what I figured would be the crowning jewel of this thought experiment. Thing is, I’ve started having monthly dinner-and-coffee meet-ups with a life-long friend/former LE co-worker who has a very libertarian disposition. He tends to joke around with wait staff, especially staff of the female variety, which might be just the ticket for an H&H merchandise discussion. On a side note, I would like to get him posting here; I think he would fit right in with the gliberati, even if he is Tulpa.
The meet-up Saturday rolled around, and we got started a couple of hours earlier than usual. I explained the social experiment aspect of my attire, and what I would be watching for while we were out. He was on-board with my quasi-plan, and, after discussing possibly playing some pool, we decided that the standard places were a fine choice after all, and we headed out for delicious Tex-Mex. But, wouldn’t you know it–our normal Mexican food hang-out was packed, so, we settled on some Mongolian stir-fry.
I hadn’t been to Genghis in a while, and this place always seems to be re-inventing some portion of itself. The hostess was a real pistol, and was willing to joke with my friend, as he started his banter. This would end up being the most promising point in the night for an interaction over my apparel. And, by that, I mean, I am almost positive that she saw my shirt, and was sharing in my friend’s humor a bit. Beyond that? Nada. The meal was good, but, my friend was so exhausted from his week’s work that he didn’t even want to eat. It was also busy enough that we weren’t going to delve too deeply into our usual conversations in the restaurant, so I finished up my bowl, and we headed off to the coffee house.
Presuming you don’t know, Café Brazil is a coffee house/diner with (wait for it…) a Brazilian flair. Their food has always been middlin’ to excellent, but, we just come for the endless coffee cups. They usually set out three or so of their blends, their unleaded counterparts, and dairy-based additives. My friend, being a smoker, prefers to sit outside on what passes for their patio. I’m OK with this, even if it is a Texas Summer, although I was a bit worried about our earlier starting time this evening.
It had actually cooled down quite a bit by the time we arrived and took our seats. I mean, it doesn’t really “cool down” in a North Texas Summer, but, this was tolerable. We had our usual discussion about family, work, and just how effed up people are vis-à-vis government power, especially in the realm of law enforcement. Of course, talk like that is inherently boring, and in no way should there be any website that deals in such what builds and strengthens friendships, and I highly recommend that you try it sometime!
Well, the foot traffic was rather light that evening. One of the better things about sitting outside is to see the parade of people without being so close that you inherently get pulled in to any stranger drama, or, having them drawn into yours. This particular location just happens to be a couple of miles from Southern Methodist University. For those in the know, or, who’ve ever been around an American university in a Southern state*, you can probably envision the types that make their way into said coffee-diner. Depending on particulars, my friend has been known to engage with some of these strangers. However, the combination of multiple factors, not the least of which was the dearth of interesting candidates, meant that no friendly banter would be forthcoming this night.
*What’s that? “That image would apply to just about any American university, Sir Digby”, you say? Meh…I don’t get out much.
As you might have guessed, it wasn’t long after this rather humid evening that I received my oh-so-precious license. Since I went into the endeavor with a purpose other than staying ‘street-legal’, I have to say that I’m rather happy with the final product:
OK—only the collar is visible. She’s not Ansel Adams, so I’m not going to down her for that. It was, overall, not a bad experience; much better than the visions that played in my imagination prior to the appointment. I got my permission from my benevolent overlords to convey myself on the motorways, and it only cost me $25. Woo. Hoo.
So; there you have it. The shirts got some quick glances, but generated no conversations. I’m not the most approachable person; I’m no Mr. Suave, to be sure. I did, however, have a pretty wide swath of potential victims, er… takers in my travels, and I would think that I would have had at least just one person express curiosity. But, noooooo! Not these unsophisticated yokels! And, let me assure you: I bathed prior to each outing, so it wasn’t my natural funk driving the masses away. Nor was it the shirts themselves: They are definitely high-quality products, and you, too, can pick up a couple over at www.redbubble.com/people/cprm/. If you’re looking for a comfy, snazzy shirt that supports a fellow glib, and a minimum amount of interactions with strangers is your preference, I highly recommend. My shirts are currently hanging up; freshly laundered, and waiting for their turn in the rotation. If I manage to generate any conversations with either of them, I’m sure I’ll let you all know.
Maybe I’ll take Crusty Juggler with me on the next outing…
Comments
255 responses to “Sir Digby’s Adventures in Product Promotion, pt. II”
When we moved to Idaho, our first trip to DMV left me giddy. I walked in, grabbed a number and had my butt in a chair for about 20 seconds before I got a window. Two licenses, two vehicle registrations, 10 minutes.
And then the rest of California decided to move here. That same DMV will now get you at least a 30 minute wait.
My small town DMV often has no people waiting where the two clerks will tell you to come straight to the counter rather than dinking around with the number machine or filling out the form first.
Kansas went online. At first it was a disaster now it’s much better. You can even renew your driver license online. You would think it would drive the fees down, but it’s done the opposite.
That only works for private industry
Luckily, Mizzery has online renewal, too. Thank goodness. Hate sitting around in a government dungeon.
The Napa DMV was like that. Vallejo was a shitshow.
I’ve gone twice here and both times, there were lines of people standing outside. In 110 degree heat. I still have my Wisconsin license.
When I was in Madison I was on my TX license, then I went to CA for a few weeks and my TX was expiring so I ran down and got a CA license and moved to MN and when that expired I got a TX. I was stopped for speeding in MN and the MNHP asked how long I been in MN and I said 4 years. He went apeshit and I explained I was not a resident as I owned property in TX, voted in TX, etc. I pointed out the George Bush 1 had a TX license while he lived in the White House. He let me go and was probably screwed up for the rest of the day. The purpose of the TX license was the no state income tax. When I retired I became a resident of MN and paid the tax.
I would never set foot in that loser state that lost the Alamo to a bunch of browns.
#Neverforget
Pretty sure they got it back.
The US got John McCain back too, but we still lost.
Cleveland beat Houston?
Yeah, you say that now, CJ….
OK, yeah–you may say it later, too. But, you’ll be here some day.
Who cuts your hair?
He uses a Flowbie.
My mom cut my hair until I moved out. Figuring out how to get a haircut on my own was an experience.
Isn’t that great? I used to have hair cuts like that until my wife put the kabosh on it.
I like it. That’s a haircut you could set your watch to.
Sir Digby is really Johnny Unitas?
My (a) barber. It doesn’t look like that any more, though.
Why, may I ask? Nor a fan of the High ‘n’ Tight?
/phrasing…or, not
You’re 6′ 95″ tall?! Holy cow!
Even taller than I imagined.
That’s what SHE said…
*sends Tulip my POF profile
” I think renewing your Texas CHL is less a pain in the ass, even when you have to re-qualify”
*tilts head*
What the fuck?
Constitutional carry or GTFO!
*looks at Florida ccl*
I guess I’ll GTFO.
I’d like constitutional carry here, but we’re not too bad…
~15 minute renewal, $25, and on Christmas Eve even. Good for 5 years.
Sheriff’s office was decorated for Christmas and their staff was very friendly.
Yeah, my renewal was super easy too.
I’d like a state that isn’t giving the middle finger to the 2A. 😡
/preens with her Arizona privilege
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h0fOM6tXPuU
?
Get a license anyway, if you want reciprocity in some other states.
Show off.
Do you NOT have to ever re-qualify for the CCL/CHL?
I did, for the first renewal. Can’t remember if I’ve only renewed once (I think so). If it actually has been twice, then I definitely didn’t have to re-qualify on the 2nd.
I keep saying that Texas isn’t as gung-ho about guns as lots of people think. Well, most of the power-seekers aren’t. The rest of us put up with it, for some reason.
Quality stuff, Sir Digs. DMV locally is contract operated so it tends to be in-and-out. If you can’t read the eye chart you pick out some random letters from memory and the little bored girl says “OK, tell me when you see the red light on the left side” of the eye test machine. “And now on the right” Then the picture and she says “You get your license in a few weeks”, Pay your money and leave. All in all, very efficient but not staffed with bureaucrats.
Sounds like a fun time with your bud, in Dallas, I presume?
Long ago in a California DMV I was second in line and the bored clerk asked the old lady in front of me to “Read line 3 on the chart behind me.” The old lady says “What chart? I don’t see a chart.” The clerk was real nice about it, but he put the old ladie’s license and forms aside and told her she wouln’t be driving herself home. She had a friend with her and they ambled slowly off. It was kinda sad.
I did my MN written test in St Paul one time on a computer. I was not computer literate at the time (somethings don’t change) but anyway there was an old Asian man taking the test with his young interpreter. I’m sure the young guy didn’t help him other than translate the questions, cough, cough. At the same time was a black guy about my age, 50s, we had come in at the same time and when I was finished I could see he was having a lot of trouble, maybe reading and also figuring out how to answer the computer. I felt kind of bad and would have liked to help him.
Yes–very close to SMU, actually. Not that it’s of that much interest to us. But, it does afford some interesting people. And, views…
Pics?
Not from that night.
Oh! You mean, do I have any… Ummm…..let’s see what Q has, shall we?
Also, good to see you on. Hope you’re getting better.
Presuming you don’t know, Café Brazil is a coffee house/diner with (wait for it…) a Brazilian flair.
Coffee has a waxy mouthfeel?
?
It’s like a ? shell down there.
Hard and bumpy?
Yea…I mean…isn’t everyone’s?
Well, if it’s the “flair’, wouldn’t that be post-wax? That’s how I think of it.
Now you have me all nostalgic and wanting to move back.
Way too hot for this old man. 104 in Austin today, 66 chez moi. If it wasn’t for the weather I could handle it. OTOH if it wasn’t for the weather/mosquitoes here we would have all the CA types trying to move in. Tough enough to get the people to leave here in the winter.
#metoo
I like my 4 relatively mild + nearly bug-free seasons.
Of course, the latter probably comes from living in NYC so YMMV.
I like having 4 seasons. My favorite coming up. I don’t even mind winter really.
Every season except summer > summer.
I would be happy with no summer.
Yes, summer is the worst one by far.
I spend a lot of time outside, in the garden, working around the house, etc but this year the bugs have really been bad. Winter I pretty much stay inside, tending fires, hauling wood and reading and chatting with the glibs.
would be happy with no summer.-
Fattie confirmed.
Lol only where it counts.
My heart and brain ladies.
And cock.
Hi, I’m Crusty.
Sorry to hear about your flabby cock.
Thanks!
Spud, with the new line of American Greeting cards.
/The “Crusty J” line. Tough sell, actually.
“Sorry about you being cuckolded.”
“Not all VD’s are forever.”
Fathead with a flabby cock and clogged arteries?
I was visualizing the stiffness of a sea cucumber.
Sorta On topic- Saw a guy with a Sasquatch calf tattoo at a music fest this weekend, made a few loud Zardoz and Hat and Hair statements and got nothing, apparently it wasn’t one of you
degeneratespatriotsjerksGlibs.STEVE SMITH mark his previous conquests.
I figured he would brand them rather than tattoo them.
AND BY BRANDED, MEAN…
Lying PETA rep just blamed meat for causing diabetes on Tucker. Meat.
As a keto convert, I’d like to point out her pants are on fire.
Its not meat that causes diabetes, but eating too many calories. I think many of the health benefits associated with plant based diets are really from low calories.
She’s good. Every time Steyn tried to pin her down, she pivoted to another point.
OT: The Day Jeffrey Epstein Told Me He Had Dirt on Powerful People
OMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMG
Sounds a lot like that dude that setup fyre festival.
Sell your Tesla stock!
I’m not certain I have any. Are they pat of the SP500?
No. Tesla is in the PT Barnum Index, not Standard and Poors
The stock has been poo for awhile and I don’t think this will help, at least in the short term.
It appears they are not on the list, so I don’t own them. Although I may own them in my mid cap or small cap index, but that’s just a trifle I use as my top hat fund.
I’m just wondering how many lawyers with women in tow will come forward looking for a piece of his estate.
Do you know who else never drank?
Carrie Nation?
DJT?
Frank Zappa?
Fish?
Uncle Ted?
U.S. Grant?
The Wicked Witch of the West?
Hitler?
You must mean Donald Trump.
Trump is HItler. Hitler is Trump.
There is no Nazi but Trump, and Hitler is his prophet?
Finkle is Einhorn! Einhorn is Finkle!
You should be forceful about making small talk with strangers – it’s a good time.
“Hot enough for ya?”
“Can you believe that ______ sports thing?”
“Did you order this beautiful weather?”
To a woman in a skirt – “Airing it out today, eh?”
“Did you see that Tarantino movie? Sharon Tate was a box, am I right?”
“Where do you stand on Trump?”
Or just fart in a crowded elevator and then say, “Who’s shooting Indians?” – it’s a guaranteed winner.
“Can you believe that ______ sports thing?”
I’m trying to figure out what goes in the blank. Cuntlicking?
This is a family site.
Family can mean a lot of things.
Juggalos > Carpenters > Jackson 5 > Bee Gees > > Neville > Kings of Leon> Corrs > Partridge > Osmond > Manson
Can confirm.
Never make eye contact.
Ken White got in a spat with Michael Avenatti.
And you people say Twitter is good for nuthin.
Ken White has become such a pointless blowhard. That Avenatti could even score a point is sad.
TDS is a mind killer
Here’s a new one .. driving to the airport today, saw a panhandler standing with a cardboard sign .. it read:
“Sorry, I only have white-eyes money.”
I paid mine at the casino
I can relate.
+1 Creativity. I would stop and give him a couple of bucks just for the sign.
And then quickly take it back…and the sign.
Now that’s how you shitlord.
Next time your going by there take some beads.
Am I gonna have to be the first person to say you should give him a blanket and then stand there checking your watch?
“.@MileyCyrus – don’t worry about Liam. You can do much better and you have plenty of time—remain strong!”
https://twitter.com/realDonaldTrump/status/380761318833152000
He’s like a crazy homeless person who has to tell something at everyone who passes by. Lol.
Isn’t that basically what Twitter is?
True.
I can see The Hair agonizing over this. He’s such a kind soul.
Good read, Sir Digby.
Maybe, just maybe, there are fewer people on board the far left train than they would have us believe.
Agreed. On both counts.
Why thank you–to the both of ya!
The question isn’t how many, it’s are there enough?
Certainly fewer that are loud and vitriolic.
“Hitler Was Incompetent and Lazy—and His Nazi Government Was an Absolute Clown Show”
https://twitter.com/Newsweek/status/1160642098019917824
https://www.newsweek.com/hitler-incompetent-lazy-nazi-government-clown-show-opinion-1408136
No doubt the reader is left to imply a connection to a certain individual in the present day.
This is probably well and true about Adolf, but it’s also kind of missing the point (granted, it is an excerpt). You can’t control Hitler, but vilifying him doesn’t work, either. You have to not fuck up so badly you get Hitler in the first place.
Although Trump is no Hitler, a similar logic still applies. He got elected for a reason. Stomping your feet and ignoring that reason won’t make it go away (even if the man you hate will). Since he isn’t Hitler, there’s still a chance to change. But a warning sign should still be heeded.
*falls off chair*
I’d say it’s more of a multivariate phenomenon.
Well, do a regression analysis and get back to us on that.
Where’s my grant money?
Here’s a link to the Rockafella Foundation.
It sometimes gets lost in all the TDS/Trump worship/Media BS from 2016 out there:
He beat a woman who was so cocksure that she didn’t bother to campaign in the swing States, so corrupt her handpicked DNC openly and obviously rigged the primary to give her the win, and so out of touch she referred to the entire blue collar electorate as deplorables, despite that very demographic being the key to her husbands wins.
Don’t get me wrong, Trump did a great job of refusing to allow the media and establishment to intimidate him, and that was key, but he beat an epicly bad candidate.
Hillary is the only Democrat who could lose to Trump, and Trump is the only Republican who could beat Hillary.
So, I just applied for admission to a local college to get my Associates Degree in Business Management.
Just wanted to tell somebody. ?
huzzah!
Congratulations! Are you changing your handle to Gordon Gecko or Patrick Bateman?
Bernie Madoff.
George Bluth
+1 Cornballer
That poor Richard Simmons.
I mean you could yourself the time and money and just watch Thronton Mellon instead…
But really good luck – focus on learning Excel and anything that involves developing a team. And HR. They will ruin your life.
Good luck! ?
“Congradulations!”
/that’s in lieu of a card in the very near future
Woohoo!
We’re Covering Joe Biden Like He’s an Aging Quarterback
I’m not sure if I agree completely but I love the attempt at the comparison. At least some people are trying to be creative.
lol this I agree with.
+336
I’d agree with it, had they added “career long backup”.
DoomCo’s been off roading the Cruiser, but for some reason he’s been quiet about it.
https://jalopnik.com/carry-less-crap-on-your-roof-1837178419?utm_medium=sharefromsite&utm_source=jalopnik_copy&utm_campaign=bottom
I’ve now read this twice, and you all should do the same! (That’s right, I’m telling you what to do!)
I read it one and one half times and you can’t make me read a word more!
Just three more words and you get cake. They all want cake.
Fuck off! I’m full.
He deserved that for having a Hitler mustache! He was no doubt a far right wing racist extremist! I’m sure he advocated for things like killing latinx so we could afford to pay for UBI and Universal Healthcare and to lighten our impact on the environment! Such Right Wing! (Italics motives mentioned in the El Paso shitbags manifesto)
That was what I hoped it’d be.
You were hoping for Mr. Creosote???
It’s supposed to be nightmare fuel, MP-style.
Apparently, you have nicer nightmares than I do, SD.
BTW, good article. Last time I went to my DMV, though, it was relatively painless. However, it was just a registration renewal.
I think I was just fortunate this go-round. As bad as it wasn’t, I’m not letting my guard down.
/don’t wanna know about your nightmares, if exploding people are “nicer”
Scanners would be about a 2 on a 1-10 scale.
“a 2”, eh?
At 1:50 that looks like Milton Freedman in the audience; any leftist would tell you that this is the result of implementing his ideas.
Well, Michael Ironside can be very intimidating and evil.
Practically a libertarian as it is.
Just one thin waffer!
FUCK OFF, SLAVER!!!
I read it once and then had sex. I like my way better.
Did Elmo like it too?
Tickle Me Elmo
Well….glad to know of the aphrodisiatic properties of my writing.
So, I guess I’m glad I could be of service to you being ‘of service’.
Yoooo trshmnstr, or anyone else into baking bread,
The other day you mentioned that your biggest challenge in bread baking was handling the dough without degassing it. Just thought I’d share this video. That’s pretty much the method I use when shaping high-hydration doughs, although I don’t do the rest of the process the same way as this guy does.
I actually ‘baby’ the dough quite a bit more. I never pick up the shaped loaves with my hands like he does; if I need to move one of them to another surface, I will gently roll it onto a floured cloth, pick up the cloth at both ends (so the baguette is in there like a person lounging in a hammock) then set it down and roll the dough off. Or, I’ll put the loaves on cut sheets of parchment paper and just slide them wherever they need to go.
Anyway, hope this is helpful!
Akira–have you written here about bread-making? I’m sorry that I don’t remember if you have (not doing a search), but, you definitely should.
Would (read).
Honestly, you see my drivel, so, you should be able to write something much more compelling.
“I’m no Mr. Suave, to be sure.”
No kidding. We could tell by the hair.
What is it with (my) hair? Is it the SF/CPRM influence? Y’all a bunch of fetishists?
Fine! https://imgur.com/a/yxXmgPU
*runs screaming from room*
Hey! Remember, I’m still 6’5″!
Visine is your friend.
You talkin’ to me?? What–my eyes aren’t red!
That, and he never mentioned fruit sushi.
And there’s nothing wrong with that.
Sir Digs being doxxed. Alan Cumming. Knew I’d seen those eyebrows before.
https://i.imgflip.com/37vm2c.jpg
Thanks for the write up.
??
In that case, you owe the world an apology for your role in Spice World.
Heh, that’s pretty much the face my imagination made, but more southern and less gay.
Meh…nose is all wrong.
I thought I had that covered.
I’m a pioneer in nostronomy, it’s like phrenology, but uses the nose to find teh gays; should make me some bank since Trump is so anti-gay.
Hmmm. Well, it checks out.
BTW, will you drive around in a big Cadi you call the Nostrono? ‘Cause, I’m kinda on board with that.
He takes the LV426 expressway to work everyday?
The Matrix is for teh gayz, per Trump’s orders. It’s brutal living in Trump’s America.
Now, see: You hit me with that Spice World slam. Then you go and TOTALLY REDEEM yourself with that gem!
Brav-O
Sir Digby never had a dream come true. I feelz sad.
S7? Or, whatever…
I mean, you coulda gone with Sheena Easton.
I was playing off the Spice World thing and relating it back to Gustave; it was in-jokes all the way down. You two are my bestest friends on here, and sadly that probably makes you my bestest friends anywhere.
OK, these sweet cherries are suddenly not so sweet….
☹️
Meh, it’s just I hate everyone, just hate you guys less.
I see you learned from the Master
That was about my nose???
Man, this is a tough room tonight…
Would.
You trying to seduce me, CJ? I knew you’d come around.
And, when I say “come around”, I don’t mean the corner. However, if you can do that, you should look at a new career.
Garfield was awakened by his alram clock. “I hate alram clocks.” Garfield said. Then John came into his room. “Hello Garfield,” John said, “It sure is a beautiful monday morning!” “I hate mondays,” said Garfield. Garfield went into the living room. That was when Odie crossed paths with him. Odie barked happily at Garfielf. “but most importantly of all I HATE DOGS” said Garfield. Odie turned around and started wagging his tail in the cats face. Garfielf slapped the dog as if to shoo him off. Then odie farted in garfields face. “I REALLY HATE DOGS!” Garfield said as he covered his nose. But odie was just beginning. lumps of feces dispensed from his anus, and Garfield backed away in shock before barfing violently. “YOU KNOW WHAT THAT DOES IT IM DONE THATS THE LAST STRAW IVE HAD IT WITH YOU ODIE!” Garfield screams. He picked up odies poo and fed it back to the dog through its mouth. As Odie barfed heavily trying to get the taste of dung out of his mouth, Garfiled ran into the kitchen and got a knife from the drawer. He returned to his never friend and shoved the knife into Odies throat. He was dead. “HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!” Garfield laughed, “Now to kill all the dogs on the whole planet.” Garfielf ran out the front door swinging two knifes like crazy. He saw a dog walking down the sidewalk. he killed that dog. He spotted two puppies playing in a yard. He killed those dog. He saw a jackal on a leash. He killed that dog. Sweeping through the neighborhood, Garfiled killed any dog that stood in his way, bulldogs, terriers, dachshunds, dobermans you name it. Then Garfield came to the grocery store. Garfield went inside the grocery store and went to the aisle with the raisins. He took the raisins and put them into the dog food in the pets aisle. He laughed witnessing all the dogs dying from poisoned food. Then he was caught by the store manager. “Can I have lasagna?” asked Garfield. In the courtroom the judge banged his hammer. “As punishment for committing a hate crime and slaying hundreds of innocent dogs, you are sentenced to death by electrocution.” He banged his hammer again. Garfiled was put in an electric chair and was fried . The end.
Begin Garfield: Life #2
Go on…………
Eww! On second thought; way way too much dog killing.
Garfield was against gender queerness, so unwoke!
Oooh–good find!
DAMN YOU, JIM DAVIS!!!1!1!
Disappointed no “Garfly” appeared. Next installment? Drunk cats are funny.
So if Garfield had been woken by his alarm, instead of his alrum, would this have turned out differently?
Spudalicious: Asking the questions we all want answered. Need answered.
RRRRRAAAACCCCIIIISSSSTTTT!!!!!!!!
Takes one to know one! (enough to lock you up for a hate crime in Canadia I think)
Racist? Me? C’mon-the lovely clerk I dealt with in the DPS office was
coloreda Negress…Black?::sigh:: ‘African-American’…
Also–am not!
https://imgur.com/WjqwNqh
NSFW.
The Honky version of an HM meme.
https://archive.li/lyJn4/1c55f77b28362d9d50fdc39649c6e69d5b8c634e.jpg
NSFW.
http://naturalcapitalism.info/images/8ec5ef1e141a727ff406bf2b15bbe42e.jpg
NSFW.
We had some actual hot days this summer and some guy in my office keeps turning down the AC. As I am the first to arrive I will runt it up max power to cool the room before anyone else arrives.
Good morning glibs
Yo, Pie! May you be cool all through the morning.
It’s foreigners like you that are killing Gaia!
Quit playing those head games, C.
Or you could just lose some weight.
I am trying but in the last two years I failed due to my drinking habit and general depression. But I disliked heat even when skinny so that will not help.
Depression cure.
I can relate.
Whoa!! Harsh, man…
You run out of mayo?
No idea if Pie is overweight. Giving him the biz regardless.
It’s Glibs, man. I think a 40-50% estimate is adequate. We weren’t all military, or, power squatters, or…you know–“healthy”.
Highest I ever got was 190. Now 180 at 6’2. The fat thing never was a problem, so I might be a bit insensitive to others who are overweight. Has Pie ever mentioned before that he was pudgy?
He seems to say as much up above. If so, no judgment here.
Also, I was being playful earlier, if that didn’t come across.
/6’5″, 240-ish
Got a friend I’ve known for 20 years. He’s bald as a cue ball, but even to this day gets angry if I make a bald joke. Drive into the skid is my policy, but it isn’t everyone’s.
a 40-50% what? body fat % ?
Oh, so you’re hatin’ now, too? My articles are supposed to be a uniting force…for Good!
No–40-50% fitting the bill, so to speak
Yes I am overweight, 6′ and 190 pounds with a 91 cm waist, so about 25 pounds overweight I would say
That’s “Romanian overweight”.
Hehe, Sir Digs, changing your avatar to that after I just linked that the other night, are you getting sweet on me? Because I don’t go that way bro. I mean, it’s cool if you do, but that ain’t how I roll.
Oh, not just the avatar…
Also inspiration != sweetness, you know. I would say that you have good tastes in entertainment options, but, that’s the only reference to taste I’m making.
RACISM!
I also love the line, “We’re makin’ a movie, not a film!” One of the best summations of high and low(er) art in film-making.
Or John or Teddy. Anyone of those is fine with me.
https://www.realclearpolitics.com/2019/08/12/dems_should_follow_the_example_of_robert_f_kennedy_483065.html
Oh, so we’re ignoring all the evidence RFK tried to shut down King…Ok…move along…nothing to see here…
It’s Hugh Halfwit. I’m not reading it. The headline cracked me up.
Wifey is watching for the first time a body cam footage of a traffic stop of sovereign citizen type on YouTube. Yes, he’s a jackass and sounds like one. And he was pulled over for not wearing a seat belt. Everyone looks like an ass in the video.
This is the one
https://youtu.be/GgMudF7JM4A
That is physically painful to watch.
Jumps in the video (which could be uploader cutting stuff. Or not) and covers the body cam at some interesting points.
JIMINY CRICKET! Just give him your license, take your ticket, and be on your way. WTF is wrong with people? I mean, I get it; I have that scrappy Southron go-down-swingin’, bloodied, but unbowed itch in my lizard brain that really wants to be scratched. But pick your battles. I wouldn’t trade a broken window/impounded car, a day at the gaol, the indignity of rolling around in broken glass, and the expense of court for a ticket that can likely be sweet talked into a warning.
Everyone can end up looking like an ass when dealing with police.
OK, One more Eddie Murphey clip, then I’m off to bed. The director,Ron Underwood (of Tremors) was blaming political blackballing back then, he spoke at my film school shortly after Pluto Nash had come out.
Pluto Nash……::hangs head:
Yeah; get some sleep, bruh.
Demeaning.
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=DfieS2ppJ_E
*consults baseball schedules and flights to Taiwan*
Uh..yes! Very demeaning!
Go study that. In depth.
Write up an article about it.
Is that one in the middle a Japanese version of Dora the Explorer? Or, the Dora that got married.
Japanese Dora
https://youtu.be/70nT6waVD2M
are there enough drugs in Japan to sit through that?
I think that’s where we get that well-known phrase, “Not for all the drugs in Hokkaido”
Dammit, that always happens about this time of night–I try to reply to someone, and I make a new post.
Double damn!!!
This has been a favorite song for 30+ years – Dissmasters – Small Time Hustler.
Last night I finally heard the song they sampled. https://youtu.be/itzy_oKniZc
Man I like both of those. I’m really surprised when I find a sample from a song I’m familiar with. The mid 80’s to early 90’s you could get away with ripping almost any sample from movies or music.
Some of the industrial stuff from that era was great for their sci-fi or movie samples.
See the sample section.
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Mind_Is_a_Terrible_Thing_to_Taste
I found most of these pre internet as I was watching the movies in real time. You hear the sample in context and you get your mind blown for a second. The full metal jacket samples were recognized immediately.
Indeed. I consider Paul’s Boutique to be the absolute pinnacle of Beastie Boys’ work. Also, Del’s incarnation as Deltron 3030 and Dan The Automator routinely impress me after repeated listening. Although, if you are into less melodic fare (receptacle programming, sonic tapestry, etc.), Negativland is the way to go. Check out Guns.
The 30th anniversary of Paul’s Boutique was a few weeks ago. It’s is still my favorite BB album just for Hey Ladies alone.
HELL YEAH! – “…got more hits than Sadaharu Oh“
And to take it in another direction – Japan’s Dempagumi Inc. covering Sabotage. https://youtu.be/qgBnhVeXosM