Monday Afternoon Links

Happy Monday! My co-worker who was wearing the architect hat for this project is leaving for greener pastures in a month. So I just received a field promotion to architect. Whee. I need to ask my boss if I can have the difference between the salary I am making and the salary co-worker was making. Anyhow, I have no desire to remold this project in my image, so I’m just gonna try to finish the way it started.

Would you like to play a game? And of course, the article gets the wrong Matthew Broderick movie reference.

Bottom study of the day – lonely young men are far more likely to become extreme. Umm, yeah. Even Bill Maher had this figured out in 2002.

I wish every mass shooting ended like this. Good on ya, Mr. Rafiq.

I like how the best case in the Epstein death is massive incompetence. These are the same people you’d have to trust to protect you from harm if a gun ban came down.

 

Happy Monday.

Comments

474 responses to “Monday Afternoon Links”

  1. Count Potato

    “Anyhow, I have no desire to remold this project in my image”

    So you mean you’re not adding a meth lab?

    1. Mad Scientist

      Why would he need two?

      1. *AHEM* economies of scale!

        1. JaimeRoberto: Gentleman, Scholar, French Tickler

          He prefers artisanal meth.

    2. leon

      He’ll never make senior Management with that attitude.

  2. PBRstreetgang

    FTA: “The “normal script is that I am supposed to get down on my knees and say ‘Please accept me back into your midst, liberal America! I accept that I was wrong,’” he said, adding, “No way. Fuck you.” Is this one of you guys?

    https://www.insidehighered.com/news/2019/08/12/johns-hopkins-fires-professor-over-clash-student-protesters-he-says-he-has-no

    1. Chipwooder

      I like the cut of that fella’s jib.

    2. Tres Cool

      Is it just me, or does the author resemble Michael Bolton from ‘Office Space’ ?

      1. Tres Cool

        I meant the dude, Daniel Povey

      2. PBRstreetgang

        Yeah you’re right, he does!

    3. This guy is my hero.

      If Povey had known in advance “that everyone inside the building was black (that was what I saw; although from media coverage it seems that there may have been a white trans person in the core group) — I wouldn’t have gone ahead with the counterprotest,” he said. “I’m not an idiot; I know that as a person who demographically ticks all the ‘oppressor boxes,’ I would have to be severely punished for opposing such a group.”

      White men in “this environment seem to be expected to constantly atone for their existence by telegraphing their exclusive concern for every demographic group but their own, like a neutered puppy dog or some Justin Trudeau man child,” he said. “It’s pathetic, in my opinion, and I don’t accept it at all. I am not prepared to apologize for being who I am. I don’t think that empathy should preclude critical thinking or basic self-respect.”

      Povey goes on to criticize critiques of “toxic masculinity,” compare current discourses on gender and race to Animal Farm and Nazism, discusses animus toward market-dominant minorities, and ends with some Bob Dylan: “I ain’t sorry for nothing I’ve done/I’m glad I fought, I only wish we’d won.” He at one point uses the word — widely considered a slur — “retarded.”

      I’m surprised they got him for using the “retard” word but not the “idiot” word. So problematic. Much offended.

      1. leon

        Hmm he’s exhibiting all the signs of white extremism. Raise that flag!

      2. hayeksplosives

        Note that he is a professor of language and speech processing. I reckon he’s more inclined to believe words have meaning than a lot of the lefties.

      3. sk

        My brother, who works as a school psychologist, told me a tragic story of the impact of the weasel-wording that attempts to protect feelings in the face of brute facts.
        He had been mandated to use “cognitively delayed” rather than “retarded” [synonyms. how do they work?].
        He had been working with a Native American grandmother to determine what educational approaches and resources would offer hope to a severely underperforming child.
        In meeting with her to go over the test results, he told her her grandson was “cognitively delayed,” as per requirements. The older woman, struggling to cope, to do what she could for her grandson, broke down in tears and thanked my brother profusely. She said “oh, thank god! I was afraid he was retarded.” She was deeply relieved, she had seen a ray of hope in what was otherwise her very dark and grim world.
        The cruelty of feelings over facts was never more evident than in her heartbreak, hard on the heels of her joy, when he had to explain to her that the terminology had been changed, that her grandson was, in fact, ‘what would once have been described as retarded’. It nearly broke my brother. It definitely led to a fight with his superiors, and a change in employer if not work.

        1. Just wait, in a few years ‘cognitively delayed’ will be considered a slur as bad as ‘retard’.

          No euphemism for unfortunate conditions can ever last long before it’s considered just as bad as what it replaced.

          1. sk

            Of course, because it’s not the word, it’s the use. But word magic has a tight grip on what passes for some people’s minds.

          2. cyto

            Retarded was the politically correct and non-offensive term used to replace “idiot” or “moron”. It was meant to convey the idea that a person was not completely defective, just in some way slowed down.

            Exactly the same as “Handicapped” was adopted to retire the offensive “disabled”. Which was, of course, adopted to retire the offensive “crippled”.

            so yeah, absolutely “differently abled”, “cognitively delayed”, “hearing impaired”, etc. will all be replaced as being offensive. These morons seem incapable of understanding that the meaning of the word is found in what it is used to convey. So if you start calling people with cognitive disabilities “farfurgnugen”, soon enough “farfurgnugen” will become an offensive term for referring to such people.

            It is a stupid exercise from the jump, and the adults in the room should be able to explain it to the children as they politely tell them to sit down and shut up. But of course, we can’t do things that way. So we’ll just keep at this for a few more years.

    4. hayeksplosives

      While what Povey did is indeed “Hell, yeah!”, it is more of what I was referring to recently about attrition of non-lefties in academia and journalism.

      We are way past the tipping point.

    5. Heroic Mulatto

      Plus I’m pretty sure that Axl Rose is Jewish

      You’re thinking of Slash, Povey.

      Fucking Millennials.

      1. Welcome to the jungle.

    6. Tulip

      I think he’s an asshole. He brought people with him to take back the building. The college admin should have done it, but he was there to escalate.

      1. OBJ FRANKELSON

        He very well may be an asshole. However, the university seemed to be following the Evergreen State playbook of indulging these entitled idiots. If the legitimate authorities were not going to do something it is not terribly suprising that someone else would. At least this one didn’t end with the school administration being held hostage.

      2. Tulip

        I don’t want to see cops killing or beating kids because of something stupid, I don’t want to see non-cops doing it either. I agree the admin should have done something, but that doesn’t mean I approve this guy escalating. He was looking for violence.

        1. Heroic Mulatto

          Yeah, he is retarded. First of all, It’s not his building, and as an employee of the university, it’s not his research. I’m not sure if I agree that he was looking for violence, but if his “associates” were students, he was willfully endangering them. If they were harmed, he would expose both himself and the university to criminal and civil liability. That having been said, I wish him luck in adapting Alexa for use in sex dolls.

          1. OBJ FRANKELSON

            Point taken. However, as long as these institutions continue to indulge these idiots LARPing as civil rights activists, these sorts of confrontations are inevitable.

    7. OBJ FRANKELSON

      In this vein, a YouTuber, Benjamin Boyce has published a deep dive into the lunacy from Evergreen State circa 2017. He was a graduating senior that year. The level of insanity is startling.

      Here is Part One Warning those with heart conditions and those prone to monitor punching rage by college students throwing an elaborate temper tantrum should only view this after consulting with a physician.

  3. These are the same people you’d have to trust to protect you from harm if a gun ban came down.

    “I am on break, talk to my AFSCME shop steward!”

  4. Yusef drives a Kia

    Massive payouts more like,

    1. Terrible person has bad thing happen to them for all the wrong reasons. It seems to be the theme of 2019

    2. Stinky Wizzleteats

      I’m torn, she shouldn’t have been canned for that. On the other hand, she would have been screaming for any one else’s scalp if they had done that. I guess it’s just sad that it’s come to this.

      1. Chipwooder

        She is saddened by the standards she helped institute, so fuck her.

        1. cyto

          Yeah, I woulda lost a bunch of money on that one too. Because she was about as transgressive as you can be on the standup stage as she began her career. When she took a turn for the progressive SJW I was stunned.

      2. Private Chipperbot

        Her, ex, Jimmy Kimmel, seems to have evaded so far.

        1. cyto

          I don’t understand him either. The guy made his bones with “The Man Show”, which featured such segments as “Girls Jumping on Trampolines”. How the heck did that guy end up being a team-first progressive?

      3. Mad Scientist

        The PC crowd has been busy painting themselves into a corner for decades. Having broken out the power sprayers in the last few years, I expect to see every single one of them get splattered.

      4. Rufus the Monocled

        Of course she shouldn’t have lost her job.

        But she helped to create the retarded atmosphere to which ALL people find themselves in.

        Going back in the past and waking up sleeping dogs is bound to mess you up.

        Fools.

        1. wdalasio

          Of course she shouldn’t have lost her job.

          I’m not so sure. I’d happily sign off on “Nobody should lose their job over this sort of thing.”. But, the truth is a lot of other people have lost their job over this sort of thing. And, as you note, she was happy to create just this little world. I’d say if anyone should lose their job over this sort of thing, it’s her.

          1. Rufus the Monocled

            No one should lose their jobs over something that happened a long time ago. It’s a shame and it’s absurd.

            But fuck her because I’m not convinced she gets it.

          2. cyto

            I’ll do you one better. Nobody should lose a job over dressing up in a costume. Full stop.

            Well, unless you are the Ohio State athletic director and you dress up as a Michigan Wolverine for Halloween. Then there might be a case.

          3. R C Dean

            Agreed.

            “Nobody should lose their job” – yes.

            “Silverman shouldn’t lose her job because she’s a prog in good standing” – nope.

            Until the people pushing this crap feel the pain, it won’t stop and we’ll never get to “nobody should lose their job”.

      5. Gadfly

        I’m torn, she shouldn’t have been canned for that. On the other hand, she would have been screaming for any one else’s scalp if they had done that.

        I say it is perfectly just for people to be hoisted by their own petard. While as a general rule I don’t think people should be fired for things that happened in the distant past on a different job, my exception is that everyone deserves a taste of their own medicine.

        1. cyto

          100% agree.

          And that’s one thing I hate about these situations. It is never the targeted group that gets the articles written in defense. It is always when the targeted group turns around and says “Ah-ha! You did it too. Now apply your own standards to your behavior” that we suddenly worry about people playing “tu quoque”. Suddenly they are “just as bad”…. or even worse, because they criticized that standard.

          This is such a dishonest argument. Nobody who makes that argument doesn’t actually understand that the sentiment is as you say, hoist them upon their own petard. So it is a really specious argument to make.

          The actual argument should be “well, they are getting what they deserve. I hope that this will make their side wise up and stop this nonsense”.

    3. wdalasio

      The most telling quote from Ms. Silverman, “It was like, I’m playing a character, and I know this is wrong, so I can say it. I’m clearly liberal.

      Liberal privilege in full bloom.

      1. Rhywun

        Some of my best friends are liberals!

  5. Fatty Bolger

    “lonely young men are far more likely to become extreme”

    Obviously good liberal women who are very concerned about extremism should immediately start hooking up with lonely young men. If it saves just one life, it’s worth the sacrifice, right girls?

    1. leon

      Lay back and think of the children

      1. Rebel Scum

        Lay back and think of the abortion. It’s her civil right and civic duty.

      2. Enough About Palin

        I just realized that leon is an OMWC sock-puppet!

        1. And he shall be leon,
          And he shall be a good man.

  6. LJW

    “Bottom study of the day – lonely young men are far more likely to become extreme”

    So government should provide free prostitutes to the lonely?

    1. Yusef drives a Kia

      War, just like in the olden days………

  7. PBRstreetgang

    It’ll take more than words to convince me lonely young men are becoming Extreme

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UrIiLvg58SY

    1. westernsloper

      Those chics sing good.

  8. Certified Public Asshat

    https://twitter.com/hashtag/MyBernieStory?src=tren

    I couldn’t pick the most pathetic tweet in this trend.

    1. Stinky Wizzleteats

      That’d be a good thread to troll but why bother, Bernie’s irrelevant now.

    2. RBS

      Tim John Ryan

      @ryantimjohn
      Follow Follow @ryantimjohn
      More
      https://app.berniesanders.com/r/e2tut6k
      My father died when I was 11 because he had a heart attack and had no insurance.
      My mom has schizophrenia and couldn’t get treatment for years because no insurance.
      That’s why I’m working to get @BernieSanders elected and 4 #medicareforall #MyBernieStory

      1. Stinky Wizzleteats

        That’d make a passable blues song.

      2. Certified Public Asshat

        Is it rude to ask what his dad’s weight was and if he smoked?

      3. Tonio

        because he had a heart attack and had no insurance

        My mom has schizophrenia and couldn’t get treatment for years because no insurance

        EMTALA. You show up at the emergency room and you get treatment, regardless of ability to pay. Reagan signed that one into law, so either a very out of date anecdote or total bullshit.

        1. Schizophrenia is a major disability and anyone correctly diagnosed gets monthly SSI payments and Medicaid for life.
          He’s full of it.

          1. cyto

            Which they will dutifully fail to take advantage of.

            Because, well, you know. Schizophrenic.

    3. Fatty Bolger

      “I liked Bernie because he looked like a crazy old man, and crazy old men are cool. I bet he’s got old man strength, too, and could wrestle a gator without getting hurt. But then I remembered that he’s a dirty fucking commie. Commies suck, and so does Bernie. That’s my Bernie story.”

    4. Count Potato

      It’s like a colony of ants, if ants were less intelligent.

      1. Suthenboy

        Winner

    5. Suthenboy

      “I support ⁦@BernieSanders⁩ for president because communism has never really failed, you know? It’s just never really been tried, I mean, if you really think about it.”

      I refuse to believe this guy is for real.

      1. Certified Public Asshat

        That one is not, he works at the Daily Wire.

      2. Tonio

        Bo Cara, esq?

  9. Rebel Scum

    bored teenager breaking into his school’s network to change grades, à la Ferris Bueller….At the Defcon hacker conference

    Swing and a miss.

    1. Private Chipperbot

      Mia Sara or Ally Sheedy?

      1. Gustave Lytton

        Both.

        1. Rebel Scum

          ^

  10. Rufus the Monocled

    New conversation

    Karo1113

    @Karenkat1956
    21h21 hours ago
    More
    Replying to @mjfree @UROCKlive1
    Two high profile people die mysteriously on trumps watch. Jamal Khashoggi . Spoke ill of trump and MBS. Met his fate with a bone saw. Now Epstein. Tons of damning evidence on trump and other rich guys. Somehow kills himself around suspicious circumstances. Just sayin ?‍♀️?‍♀️?‍♀️?‍♀️
    2 replies 2 retweets 12 likes

    Hoo-kay.

    1. leon

      “Jamal Khashoggi . Spoke ill of trump and MBS. Met his fate with a bone saw. ”

      Lol.

    2. PBRstreetgang

      I don’t think Kashoggi’s death counts as “mysterious”.

    3. R C Dean

      Now do Clinton.

      1. Crusty Juggler

        Ew

        1. TARDIS

          *reaches for pumpkin carving knife*

    4. OneOut

      It’s easy when you are President.

      Just tell the Secret Service who you want killed and they go out and do it for you.

      P.S. Jamal was a spy and got caught up in his own game.

  11. Count Potato

    So, let’s say you have a time machine and only one could, between Ally Sheedy and Mia Sara which one you would?

    1. PBRstreetgang

      Mia Sara, not even close.

    2. Chipwooder

      Mia Sara. Don’t need more than a second to make that decision.

      Take it up a notch – Mia Sara or Phoebe Cates?

      1. R C Dean

        Tougher, but still Mia Sara.

      2. PBRstreetgang

        To quote my teenaged movie-nerd son: “Dad, I’m sorry you had to grow up in the 80’s without any hot girls in movies…. well.. except for Phoebe Cates”.

        1. hayeksplosives

          Why does it make me happy that she and Kevin Kline have been happily married so long?

          The rarity of it in Hollywood I guess.

          1. Private Chipperbot

            Kevin Kline voices my one of my favorite TV characters – Mr. Fischoeder

      3. Stinky Wizzleteats

        Fast Times Phoebe at the pool Cates? That’s not even a contest.

        1. Crusty Juggler

          You’re smart.

        2. cyto

          Seriously. You gonna go with Beuller’s girl over that? I don’t think so.

      4. Gustave Lytton

        Pre Klein Phoebe? Yes

        And
        https://youtu.be/RDESlI_dYDU

    3. R C Dean

      Mia Sara. Not even close.

    4. Private Chipperbot

      Son of a bitch.

    5. Rufus the Monocled

      Mia. Hello.

    6. Tundra

      Mia Sara. No question.

    7. Fatty Bolger

      Mia. I mean, Ally was cute as hell, but Mia… damn.

      1. hayeksplosives

        Plus Ally was alarmingly good at playing a crazy bitch…

    8. Raston Bot

      Mia Sara was smoking hot in Legend.

        1. Raston Bot

          I believe you’re thinking of Labyrinth. Legend had Tom Cruise and Tim Curry.

          1. R C Dean

            That’s the one where they were burning all the books, but Tom Cruise memorized the Bible or something, right?

          2. Private Chipperbot

            No, no. It’s the one where Rutger Hauer turns into a pimp at night and Michelle Pfiefer into a meter maid during the day. They save Ferris Bueller.

          3. Raston Bot

            That was Flesh and Blood.. with Jennifer Jason Leigh.

          4. No, that was Soul Man, with C. Thomas Howell.

          5. cyto

            Ok, now you gotta ask….

            Michelle Pfiefer or any and all of the above. I’ll stipulate: Grease II Pfiefer.

        2. Not Adahn

          No, that was Jennifer Connoly

          1. hayeksplosives

            No, that was the one with the rocket pack guy battling the MAGA rallies

          2. Not Adahn

            She was in Kung Fu Hustle?

    9. bacon-magic

      Mia Sara

  12. R C Dean

    I like how the best case in the Epstein death is massive incompetence.

    I’m curious as to whether someone who was evidently a sociopathic narcissist would kill himself. My initial reaction was that narcissists would be the last to kill themselves, but maybe narcissism is actually correlated with suicide? It is a supremely self-centered act, in its own way.

    1. Stinky Wizzleteats

      He had many damn good reasons to off himself and he was allowed to do so, no assassin required.

      1. he was allowed to do so

        His body his choice. Fuck off, slaver!

    2. BakedPenguin

      Apparently, yes.

  13. Sean

    Looks like they subdued the crap out of him.

    1. R C Dean

      Mr. Rafiq definitely has that “do not fuck with this guy” look down cold.

  14. Rebel Scum

    A good starting point would be not killing them after they are born.

    Gov. Ralph Northam’s administration is seeking public input on how to improve early education and child care options in the state.

    Northam’s office announced Thursday that the state is seeking comments through the end of the month on the administration’s proposed strategic plan to improve school readiness.

    A recently released needs assessment found that 40% of the state’s kindergarten students are not ready for school. Nearly half of all low-income kindergarten students enter school unprepared.

    The state’s strategic plan’s goals include increasing availability for both public and private childcare options for working parents of toddlers. The state also wants to use incentives to help ensure adequate pay for childcare workers.

    1. Private Chipperbot

      Vouchers for everyone. There I fixed schools.

      1. hayeksplosives

        But without central planning, how will they make decisions about how best to serve their customers/constituents?!??

    2. Gustave Lytton

      Not ready for school? Wtf does that mean? Its kindergarten. You show up and go from there.

      1. Gadfly

        That was my thought on reading that as well. Kindergarten is supposed to be what prepares the kiddos for school. It’s not supposed to be considered school itself. That’s why it’s called “Garden of Children” not “1st Grade”.

        1. Mad Scientist

          I can only assume the little fuck trophies can’t use a toilet yet.

      2. Rhywun

        It means “give us money for more Pre-K”.

      3. Brett L

        Please. Our county has invested at least $1M on a “Ready fro Kindergarten” campaign. I think my favorite “welcome to school” moment so far is that the class list got posted from 4p-6p today (school starts Wednesday) but would only be available online or on Wednesday after that “for security reasons”. I asked my wife if they were watching who checked the lists. Nope. Apparently, as long as you can get to school between those hours, you can plot your kidnapping without a problem. ??

      4. cyto

        You guys clearly haven’t had preschool kids lately. Every Pre-K these days talks about having your kids ready for kindergarten.

        I distinctly remember covering colors and shapes in Kindergarten as a kid back around 1970. Even as I was reading Seuss and similar. We covered the alphabet in Kindergarten.

        These days you are expected to be able to recognize and write the alphabet, know all your colors and shapes and be able to write your name before starting kindergarten. They are writing sentences in the first half of kindergarten and have a very long list of “sight words”.

        We’ve definitely accelerated that part of education.

    3. A recently released needs assessment found that 40% of the state’s kindergarten students are not ready for school.

      Here’s an idea. Fuck off and stop stealing my money to pay for such shitty results.

    4. westernsloper

      A recently released needs assessment found that 40% of the state’s kindergarten students are not ready for school.

      WTF? Little shits can’t stand in line or finger paint? Or are they doing algebra in Kindergarten these days?

  15. Tres Cool

    My buddy’s kid wrecked his mountain bike yesterday and took it on the noggin’ pretty hard.
    Hit that motherfkin’ CONCUSSION THEME MUSIC!

    HEY YUFUS!

    1. Tonio

      I hope he was wearing his brain bucket. Srsly.

      Hope he recovers.

      1. Tres Cool

        Yeah….they CT’d him or something, and after a couple hours sent him home from the ER. I havent gotten the whole story, but Im guessing he was wearing it.

        1. Brett L

          Lids keep yer brains on the inside

    2. Yusef drives a Kia

      Late but HEY Tres!!

    1. R C Dean

      Still fatt.

      1. Enough About Palin

        That is an odd spelling or gross, R C.

        1. Private Chipperbot

          Well it’s certainly one or the other.

      2. cyto

        Phat?

    2. RBS

      She’s certainly oozing something.

    3. Tres Cool

      Too petite for my tastes.

      1. TARDIS

        42-39-56 minimum?

    4. Playa Manhattan

      Who pays for that shit?

      1. Mad Scientist

        There’s a soap rendering plant that owns options on her body.

      2. I’m impressed that Count Potato finds new pix of her every single day.
        You can’t buy that kind of publicity.
        Oh, wait a second, of course you can buy it. That’s how you get it in the first place.

  16. The Other Kevin

    Is that Matthew Broderick movie the one where he says that some hackers are more equal than others?

    1. You’re thinking of The Freshman, and by hackers he means Marlon Brando’s guys who hack bodies to pieces.

  17. Count Potato

    “Happy Monday.”

    I love that video.

  18. I. B. McGinty

    Ferris changed his attendance records not his grades if I remember correctly.

    1. Chipwooder

      Yes, he did. They’re confusing Ferris Bueller, where he changed the number of absences, with WarGames, where he changed his (and Ally Sheedy’s) grades.

  19. Rufus the Monocled

    More comments:

    adam basham

    Nobody’s being “disarmed”. There’s just no rational reason to have certain weapons in a civilized society. Pretending they’re to protect you from the govt is nonsense, seeing as how they’ll ALWAYS have better weaponry, no matter how many guns of war we flood our country with

    Ken Koh

    Sure there isn’t.

    Thomas P. Sullivan

    The Uighurs should have taken up arms against the Red Army? I’m sure that would have worked out really well for them.

    Ken Koh

    Worked well for us. Learn history.

    Thomas P. Sullivan

    Funny. The absolute best, most modern long guns in the Redcoats’ arsenal were virtually indistinguishable from a hunting piece. Try that shit now.

    Ken Koh

    Idiot. Learn history.

    2A is not about a weapon but citizens MATCHING FORCE to take on government.

    adam basham

    “Matching force”? That’s cute. Thankfully we have you and your collection of advanced bombers and tanks to protect us when the government comes to kill us all ???

    https://twitter.com/kkoh1776/status/1161002360593952768

    So. Lemme get this straight. These two numbskulls want to be subservient to the state because?

    Also. I guess they never read the story of Jews getting some weapons in the Warsaw Ghetto. They didn’t win but at least they gave it a fight.

    Pure ignorance of human nature and history these two idiot possess.

    1. Count Potato

      That’s a lot of retarded.

      1. Crusty Juggler

        “retarded.”

        Excuse me, the current politically correct phrase is “mentally gay.” Please update your vocabulary.

        Thank you.

    2. leon

      I’ve said it a bunch but that argument makes no sense. The government will crush you so therefore you shouldn’t have any ability to threaten the government. It’s a non sequitur at best. It’s Also just wrong historically.

      Finally its an argument for less restrictions on what weapons a private citizen should be able to own.

      Finally I really hate the “civilized society.” argument. Nothing has changed about humanity in 150 years, let alone 2000. We just have cooler tools. The same arguments about freedom and slavery to a state were being made.

      1. Mad Scientist

        The argument boils down to, “You can’t make a difference, so just give up!”

    3. Chipwooder

      A bunch of goatherders seem to have done ok against us in Afghanistan despite the enormous edge we have in weaponry.

      1. Rufus the Monocled

        And the Soviets of yesteryear.

        1. Chipwooder

          Uh huh. Plus, like all of these shitstains, they think that the US armed forces would go 100% after American citizens. I know most cops would, but a helluva lot of soldiers/Marines wouldn’t, in no small part because they hail from segments of the population most likely to be the ones in the crosshairs.

          1. Rufus the Monocled

            There are a lot of assumptions in their claims.

          2. invisible finger

            ” I know most cops would”

            Until there is return fire. The cops just want to go home safe.

            Soldiers on the other hand would probably be the exact opposite. They wouldn’t want to go in unless threatened with discharge, but once the return fire started they’d probably be all “Blackhawk Down” no matter the locale.

          3. Chipwooder

            I know this is a dead thread now, but in case anyone ever reads this again…..I suppose that, as a veteran, I like to think the best of my brethren and hope that most of them would refuse.

        2. I was just switching channels yesterday and came across the last minute of Rambo III.
          The ending credits start with “This film is dedicated to the noble people of Afghanistan”.
          Funny how our view of that country and its residents changed so soon afterwards.

      2. Fourscore

        I understand that there re some neighborhoods in Sweden and England and maybe in the US where the police are less diligent than in other suburbans places that have higher taxes.

    4. Fatty Bolger

      So to sum up, these are weapons of war, so nobody outside the military needs them, but if they did need them, they aren’t actually weapons of war.

      1. Chipwooder

        They’re weapons of war, but they are also hopelessly outclassed by the weapons the military has. Stop and figure out how that makes the slightest bit of sense if you have a few days (and brain cells) to kill.

        1. Tonio

          But then you get…

          “Hurr, Durr, you rednex gonna oppose the US military with a couple of AR-47’s when they haz tanks and stuf?”

      2. The Other Kevin

        I have read recently that assault weapons available at a gun show are the same as their military counterparts.

      3. Rebel Scum

        A musket is a weapon of war. These hoplophobes are scared of technological advance.

        1. Tonio

          [Looks left and right at last rank making sure everyone has reloaded, or almost so. Blows whistle.]

          1. Jarflax

            +1 rod down range

    5. Rebel Scum

      the Redcoats’ arsenal were virtually indistinguishable from a hunting piece

      Exactly. We have let the disparity between the gov’t and civilians grow way too large.

      1. cyto

        Well that, and a hunting rifle is significantly more powerful than a standard infantry rifle these days. But don’t tell that to the media – they’ve had a tough enough time wrapping their head around all of the ways to say that an AR-15 is the most powerful weapon ever invented.

    6. Gadfly

      The Uighurs should have taken up arms against the Red Army?

      It should be noted that the Red Army started as a small group of rebels who took up arms against the army of the Republic of China, in modern times, and that didn’t go so well for the established government.

      1. Tejicano

        Them uppity Uighurs!

  20. Crusty Juggler

    The US Navy is replacing touchscreen controls with mechanical versions on its destroyers

    n August 2017, the USS John S. McCain crashed into the Alnic MC, a Liberian oil tanker, off the coast of Singapore. According to the National Transportation Safety Board’s accident report into the incident, the complex touchscreen interface, a lack of proper training and documentation, and tired sailors were all contributing factors in the collision.

    The complexity of the touchscreen meant one sailor thought he was controlling the ship’s entire throttle when he only had control of one side. This mistake caused the warship to turn into the path of the tanker.

    “Their misunderstandings expressed during the post-accident interviews and the misunderstandings of other crewmembers who were permanently assigned to the John S McCain point to a more fundamental issue with the qualification process and training with the IBNS (integrated bridge and navigation system),” concluded the report.

    All DDG-51 class (Arleigh Burke) ships will see their IBNS switched out for mechanical controls, starting with the USS Ramage in the summer of 2020. The first new destroyer to come with physical throttles instead of touchscreens will be the USS Ted Stevens.

    Tom Clancy approves.

    1. The Other Kevin

      The iDestroyers haven’t been nearly as good since Steve Jobs died.

      1. Tundra

        They should never had Musk’s people design the autopilot.

    2. Gustave Lytton

      How about renaming them as well?

    3. Until touchscreens can have some decent level of tactical feedback, they’re worthless as control machinery. My car has the same damn issue. I used to be able to feel for the button/dial I needed without removing my eyes from the road. Not anymore!

      1. Don Escaped Texas

        THIS

        I bitch about THIS all the time. FWIW, not all the automotive guys think the new gadgetry is well thought through.

    4. The Other Kevin

      To be fair, the poor guy thought he was on Level 438 of Candy Crush.

  21. Crusty Juggler

    Ex-school nurse admits to having sex with student, offering him $2K in hush money

    A former elementary school nurse in Missouri admitted to having sex with an underage student multiple times — and offering him $2,000 in hush money, according to a report.

    Tina Maria Sumner pleaded guilty on Friday to two counts of statutory rape and one count of victim tampering in a plea deal that will send her into a 120-day in-custody sex offender assessment program, the St. Louis Post-Dispatch reported.

    The 47-year-old nurse resigned from Fox Elementary School in Arnold following her 2017 arrest.

    A judge will eventually decide whether Sumner — who was named as the top school nurse by the Jefferson County Association of School Nurses in 2005 — will be kept in custody for a seven-year prison term or be released. She will also serve a five-year probation term for pleading guilty to victim tampering in the case, the newspaper reports.

    Hubba-hubba.

    1. R C Dean

      top school nurse

      Credible. I’d like a look at the school nurse who is a bottom, as well.

    2. Sean

      OOF. That’s a rough looking 47.

      Sumner refused to talk to investigators upon her arrest and she was released without being charged. But the teen’s mother contacted a detective in Arnold three months later to report that Sumner had sent her son a $2,000 check to pay off a loan on his car if he agreed to stop cooperating in the case.

      Should have just kept fucking quiet, eh? She shot herself in the dick with that check stunt.

    3. Tonio

      Ongoing confirmation that teenage boys will stick it in anything.

    4. Rebel Scum

      *clinks link*

      Guilty.

    5. elementary school nurse

      Erm.. Elementary school goes to what? 6th grade?

      1. Rhywun

        Yes. So, a 12-year-old.

        1. Fourscore

          Well, he did have car payments to make, boy was a public school 6th grader

          1. Juan-Baptiste Emmanuel Seguin

            And a daughter to take care of.

    1. Raston Bot

      that whole site is hilarious..

      https://babylonbee.com/news/expose-we-found-a-map-of-everyone-whose-president-is-donald-trump

      A lot of people have been curious as to where people associated with Donald Trump live, so they can march on their houses with torches and pitchforks and have a civil conversation with them about politics.

      https://babylonbee.com/news/lioness-that-killed-ate-own-cubs-offered-job-as-planned-parenthood-mascot

      The lioness said she plans on sleeping around with other lions and killing and eating some more cubs, should she get pregnant. “My cubs, my choice.”

    2. JaimeRoberto: Gentleman, Scholar, French Tickler

      Now that’s just begging for a fact check from Snopes.

  22. Crusty Juggler

    Doctor Warns Against Putting Chocolate In Your Vagina

    Speaking to LADbible, experienced GP Dr Mary Lowth, explained that although incorporating food into foreplay is a perfectly acceptable way to get more out of your sex life, you need to be careful.

    If you decide to get all romantic and use things like chocolate and strawberries during sex, there are definitely some risks you need to think about.

    Dr Lowth said: “The idea that sex and food go together is not odd, when you think about it. Both involve physical pleasure. Both are better when relaxed. Both are, hopefully, a bit of a treat. Both are things you enjoy together in a typical relationship.

    “But, even if you put sterile chocolate into a sterile vagina with sterile fingers and have sterile oral sex, bacteria will find that chocolate and grow in it.

    “And since none of the aforementioned are sterile, you can imagine. So no strawberries, no chocolate and, especially, no chocolate strawberries. It just isn’t worth it.”

    Millennials are such prudes.

    1. Chipwooder

      Butterscotch is the obvious choice.

      1. AlmightyJB

        Twinkees. Nothing will grow in that.

    2. JaimeRoberto: Gentleman, Scholar, French Tickler

      Are cigars still ok?

      /Bill Clinton

    3. TARDIS

      What about bacon and boobs, with a side of beer?

      1. Spudalicious

        Why would you want to put bacon, boobs, and a side of beer in a vagina?

  23. Donation Not Taxation

    Florida lighting strikes Florida septic tank. Florida toilet and master bedroom window explode.
    winknews.com/2019/08/05/toilet-explodes-after-lightning-strikes-a-port-charlotte-home-septic-tank

    1. Count Potato

      Methane?

    2. hayeksplosives

      “I’m too old for this shit”—-pottybound Danny Glover

    3. TARDIS

      If that’s not a sign from God, I don’t know what is.

      1. Donation Not Taxation

        What does the sign mean?

        1. Spudalicious

          Watch your shit.

        2. OBJ FRANKELSON

          Lay off the chili?

  24. Rebel Scum

    Virtue. Signaled.

    On Friday, a member of the U.S. men’s fencing team who joined his teammates on the victory stand after they won a gold medal at the Pan American Games decided to make a political statement, taking a knee while the American national anthem was being played.

    Race Imboden, whose teammates Gerek Meinhardt and Nick Itkin both stood as the anthem was played in Lima, Peru, pontificated on Twitter that change was necessary and President Trump “spreads hate,” writing, “We must call for change. This week I am honored to represent Team USA at the Pan Am Games, taking home Gold and Bronze. My pride however has been cut short by the multiple shortcomings of the country I hold so dear to my heart. Racism, Gun Control, mistreatment of immigrants and a president who spreads hate are at the top of a long list. I chose to sacrifice my moment today at the top of the podium to call attention to issues that I believe need to be addressed. I encourage others to please use your platforms for empowerment and change.”

    “Sacrifice”…

    1. leon

      “Pan American Games decided to make a political statement, taking a knee while the American national anthem was being played”

      I got to wonder what other countries think when they see players do that. I mean some certainly must be jealous of the freedom to do so without being jailed.

    2. Gustave Lytton

      Oh, you want to make a sacrifice? Fine, strip his medal and boot him off the team.

      1. wdalasio

        Good point. This nonsense gets called “daring” or “brave”. How? Is this decision going to have one negative repercussion on the guy’s life at all? My guess is probably not.

        1. Brave would be speaking up for views that the sportswriters disagree with.

    3. Raston Bot

      his sacrifice was probably witnessed by about 15 people.

    4. grrizzly

      Has Nike already signed a contract with him?

    5. The Other Kevin

      He chose to sacrifice the anonymity he enjoys playing a sport nobody watches. He has traded that for more press coverage than he’d ever gain by playing. What a brave soul.

  25. Juvenile Bluster

    I’m annoyed. Need to replace two sliding glass doors (getting pretty leaky and drafty), but nobody here installs anything but super high end impact resistant at $5k a pop. More than double what I’d pay for “regular” doors. I already have shutters, I don’t need impact glass (ok, I’d like it, but I don’t have the $$$ for it).

    1. Tres Cool

      Drywall it over.

    2. Gustave Lytton

      I feel your pain. I have wooden door between the kitchen and garage. If I get it replaced, it had to be a fire code metal door. But perfectly ok to leave the existing one in place.

      1. cyto

        I’ll see your pain and raise you.

        We are replacing the front door.

        The permit costs more than the door.

    3. R C Dean

      Well, you’re not going to find anything made out of window glass. It has to be tempered if its within x inches of the floor. And that’s probably not a bad thing.

      I wonder if “super high end impact resistant” isn’t just puffery for “tempered”.

    4. Private Chipperbot

      It’s not bad for a DIY project if you can just order the size you need from HD or Lowe’s. If you’re in one of the zones that require the high impact doors, that would be the way to go as a contractor won’t want the liability.

    5. Brett L

      I assume that Lowe’s doesn’t sell sub-code either

    6. Suthenboy

      The seals….I mean thermostat….cant be replaced? My understanding is that they are all impact resistant now because of oodles of lawsuits from people who have been injured by falling into glass doors.

      I have a fucking cat that lives on the front porch. Every morning she claws at the door seals to remind me to feed her. She hooks claws into the seal and pulls making a popping noise. I am getting tired of replacing those seals. I bet I have been through a dozen sets of seals so far. Eventually I am gonna skin her and make a new seal out of her hide.

    7. Fatty Bolger

      Damn. I know they’re expensive, but $5K sounds really high even for impact resistant doors.

      They are safer, though. I had a high school friend who almost died because he accidentally slammed his hand into a glass door and it shattered. When the glass fell, it slit his wrist open. And I was at a family gathering with a bunch of relatives when somebody hit a golf ball into the living room glass door. The door shattered, but instead of glass slivers flying into a large group of people, the membrane held up and nobody was hurt.

    8. kinnath

      I put top-of-the-line Anderson french doors in my house instead of sliding glass doors. Complete with tempered glass. Someone tried to “shoulder” their way through the door once. Whoever it was managed to crack the outside pain, but no damage to the inside pain. I expect whoever did it may have fucked their shoulder up pretty good.

      A complete set was about 3K. The single door I had to replace was about 1.5K.

      1. Fourscore

        I did French doors a few (maybe 5-6) years ago from Menards, seems like it was about 500 bucks, installed myself. I take that back, had 1 door that hinged, other side was permanent, so really not French doors.

  26. R C Dean

    My pride however has been cut short by the multiple shortcomings of the country I hold so dear to my heart. Racism, Gun Control, mistreatment of immigrants and a president who spreads hate are at the top of a long list.

    Well, we agree on one thing, anyway.

  27. Crusty Juggler

    Schumer wants FBI to sign off on body armor sales

    Schumer said anyone can now buy a bulletproof vest for $185 and a tactical mask for $10 under current law, Schumer said at a press conference at his Midtown office.

    “With the click of a mouse, scroll of a thumb, dialing of a phone, someone up to no good can get this,” he said. “What we have learned is that a good number of those intent on mass shootings buy body armor,” the Senate minority leader said. “They want to kill as many people as possible.”

    The restrictions would not apply to law enforcement personnel.

    Under current laws bulletproof vests are legal to own in all 50 states, except for convicted criminals. They can also be purchased online or by phone everywhere but Connecticut, where the law requires that the purchases be made in person.

    Federal law has prohibited convicted criminals from buying body armor since 2002, and violators can face up to three years in prison.

    Anyone who commits a crime while wearing body armor can also face stiffer penalties under current federal law, and most states also make it illegal to wear it while committing a crime.

    In New York it’s a felony punishable by up to four years if the culprit is wearing a bulletproof vest while carrying a firearm or committing a violent crime.

    Schumer said he’ll submit the new proposed law when congress reconvenes in September.

    He also said he will continue to push for universal background checks for gun buyers.

    “That is the most important and immediate thing we can do,” Schumer said. “If Mitch McConnell would bring that bill to pass the house bipartisan to the floor. It would pass in my judgement.”

    Get them on a list, Chuck.

    1. John’s getting a hard on.

    2. Stinky Wizzleteats

      If Mitch the Bitch brings that to the floor and it passes and is signed the Republicans will be crushed in 2020.

      1. leon

        Why do you think they are gunning for it? They get to grandstand, rake in donations and then go to cocktail parties.

    3. Mad Scientist

      The restrictions would not apply to law enforcement personnel.

      Sure, sure. It’s not like that stuff isn’t supplied by the department. It’s just that if they need an extra body armor, well, that’s no one’s business. But if YOU need some…

    4. Raston Bot

      a $10 tactical mask makes you deadlier. everyone knows this.

    5. Rebel Scum

      And what of the bulletproof backpack craze that is on now? How can a literal defensive shield be bad?

    6. Sean

      Sure Chuckie. Let’s roll CCW reciprocity into that bill too.

      And removing suppressors & SBR’s from the NFA while we’re at it.

    7. Suthenboy

      I remember the cops running to a local gun store and begging for firepower during the Hollywood shoot out because the bad guys had body armor that the cop’s popguns couldn’t penetrate.

      Shoot some solids in a 25-06 or a 7mm Mag and body armor is no longer an issue.

      1. We get to thank those assholes for much of the wannabe soldier crap cops do today.

      2. R C Dean

        I asked this and then didn’t check for any responses:

        Will the standard-issue SWAT body armor stop a .308 round?

        Asking for a friend.

          1. hayeksplosives

            What if he comes at you with a pointed stick?

        1. Suthenboy

          No. Last I saw there are three levels of BA. First stops pistol rounds, not rifle. Second can stop some rifle but not all. Third has hardened steel plates and will stop nearly anything.

          The two rounds I mentioned will penetrate unhardened steel up to nearly half an inch. It is really hard to overstate just how much momentum a high velocity rifle bullet has. Your 300 for instance…even if the vest can stop it would you really want to be knocked ass over elbows by something like that?

          1. R C Dean

            Only three snide comments before something helpful. Thanks, Suthen.

            *orders another case of .308, and more 20 round mags, err, for a friend*

    8. Fourscore

      20 years ago I saw protective vests at Sam’s Club, Good, Better and Best. I thought who the hell buys a Good or Better bullet proof vest?

      1. Brett L

        The same morons who make Yourube videos testing them?

  28. Crusty Juggler

    Brazilian president suggests less pooping could save environment

    Bolsonaro — who has come under fire in recent weeks after data showed increased deforestation of the Amazon rainforest — offered the response to a reporter who questioned if it was possible to boost the economy, feed those who are hungry and save the environment at the same time. It wasn’t clear if Bolsonaro was being sarcastic.

    “It’s enough to eat a little less. You talk about environmental pollution. It’s enough to poop every other day,” Bolsonaro said, according to AFP. “That will be better for the whole world.”

    The War on the Daily Dump begins.

    1. Spudalicious

      “It’s enough to poop every other day,”

      Is it the effort of campaigning, or actually getting into office that turns most politicians into mindless dumbfucks? I can’t believe they start out that way.

      1. Old Man With Candy

        Didn’t your school have a student government? Remember who were the big deals in that?

        1. Jarflax

          No. No one remembers them, not even Pepperidge Farm

  29. Crusty Juggler

    Once Upon a Time in a Cinema

    hile a movie such as Once Upon a Time doesn’t necessarily need to be seen in theaters, it’s so much better for it.² The format allows you to fully appreciate the vision the filmmaker was hoping to capture. The setting makes a film grandiose in a way that even the best home theater cannot. It’s the atmosphere. The fact that not only are people not on their phones, they’re not allowed to be on their phones. Everyone is — get this — paying attention to the massive fucking moving image in front of them. And the booming sound surrounding them. And maybe even the reactions of the other people around them. It was not a Wednesday night, it was an event. It was a spectacle.

    You were not watching a movie. You were witness to a slice of life in the 1960s. You were on a ride. You were along for the ride.

    I feel as if all of this gets lost in translation when you try to talk about why seeing a movie in a theater is a totally different experience than seeing it at home. Again, there’s an image on a giant screen in front of you and sound around you. Maybe the screen is a bit bigger (but maybe not!) and maybe the sound is a bit louder (but maybe not!). So really, what’s the difference?

    It’s about a thousand intangible things — some big, some small, many imperceptible. That’s what makes the moviegoing experience an experience.

    I agree, and I think there will be a move toward just really upper class (assigned seats, waiters, alcohol) theaters for the upper-crust of society, but I have been wrong before.*

    *Tube lights are pretty fragile and aren’t meant to be included in amorous situations.

    1. R C Dean

      I think there will be a move toward just really upper class (assigned seats, waiters, alcohol) theaters

      Already here. Mrs. Dean and I haven’t been to a movie in years except at the comfy chair, booze, and chow theater.

      1. hayeksplosives

        Same for Splosives household.

      2. Ozymandias

        Ditto. I’ll pay the premium for the comfy seats and significantly less asshole risk.

      3. Tulip

        Yep. Otherwise, I’m more comfortable at home.

      4. Old Man With Candy

        Ditto. We’ve been together for 12 years and haven’t gone once. Bless Amazon prime.

      5. cyto

        All of our theaters here have gone assigned seating. The closest one is all recliners and the next closest is a dine in with big cushy seats. That’s the only way they are gonna compete with $319 55″ 4k televisions with Roku built in.

  30. Tres Cool

    Heads up, Colorado Glibs.

    1. Count Potato

      “Scientists say the majority of the spiders are 10-year-old males looking to mate with females hidden in Colorado’s grasslands.”

      Wonder how they got separated in the first place.

  31. Mustang

    Hold up…I tune out of the world for a little while and Epstein “commits suicide”?!

    I’m going to need an industrial size roll of tinfoil over here.

    1. Not Adahn

      (((They))) cornered the aluminum market. This “suicide” was all a hoax to increase sales.

    2. leon

      Sounds like you want to engage in some conspiracy theories domestic terrorisim

  32. Playa Manhattan

    Oh man… Did you see the pics of the mosque shooter after? They beat the ever-loving shit out of him.

    He done been told twice.

    1. Not Adahn

      I hear you and Jesse are having an architectural kerfuffle over emojis.

      1. Playa Manhattan

        I meant to go look at the house, but I keep forgetting.

    2. Suthenboy

      He is lucky I wasn’t there. He would have ended up in autopsy.

    3. Gadfly

      They beat the ever-loving shit out of him.

      Which, given the softness of the Norwegian penal system, will be the harshest punishment he will receive for his crimes.

  33. Crusty Juggler

    So, How Did Those Much-Protested Trump Fundraisers Go?

    After last week’s protests over Equinox and SoulCycle owner Stephen Ross’s Hamptons fundraiser for Donald Trump, how did Trump actually fare out East? The answer seems to be very well, despite how many people gave up their access to eucalyptus towels and chickpea pasta over the weekend. The president dined on steak, hung out with Rudy Giuliani, did impressions of Japanese and Korean accents, talked about fake news, and raked in $12 million.

    Ross’s fundraiser was only one of two Friday events in the Hamptons for rich people to knock back a few shrimp cocktails and hobnob with the president. Despite heading companies heavily invested in liberal, urban-dwelling, millennial-friendly brands like The Momofuku Group, the aforementioned SoulCycle and Equinox, and Lola organic tampons, Ross hosted Trump at his Southhampton home for $100,000 a-head ($250,000 for access to lunch, a photo, and a “roundtable” discussion). In response to the hubbub over his participation last week, Ross released a statement that, while he agrees with Trump on “some issues, we strongly disagree on many others.”

    Among those invited to Ross’s party — where we assume he gave Trump a vigorous dressing-down on those topics on which they disagree — were the two adult heirs to the Gristedes grocery store chain; an Estée Lauder heir; and Brock Pierce, a former Might Ducks child actor with a cryptocurrency empire. But that 60-person event was small truffled potatoes compared to the next stop on Trump’s beach day, at the home of real estate developer Joe Farrell.

    Farrell’s Bridgehampton mansion, called “The Sandcastle,” was the site of a 500-person tented event hosted by Donald Trump Jr. and his girlfriend Kimberly Guilfoyle. Attendees included Bill O’Reilly, Geraldo Rivera, Lindsey Graham, New York Representative Lee Zeldin, Steve Mnuchin, and Rudy Giuliani. Per the Hollywood Reporter, “guests dined on a buffet lunch of sirloin steak, shrimp with lemon chili and charred broccoli,” before Trump gave a 30-minute speech. During his remarks, Trump reportedly quipped that he loves “coming to the Hamptons, I know the Hamptons well, everyone here votes for me but they won’t admit it.”

    Perhaps they won’t admit it because of his tendency to do things like perform mocking impressions of people from Asian countries, and say things like “big fat juicy war.” According to the New York Post, Trump described receiving a “beautiful letter” from his friend Kim Jong-un (with whom Trump’s diplomacy has helped us avoid said “big fat juicy war”), then mimicked the accent of the South Korean leader Moon Jae-in. He also put on a mimicked accent of Japanese prime minister Shinzo Abe to discuss their conversations on trade tariffs, and his bizarre obsession with Abe’s father, who was a kamikaze pilot. “Imagine they get in a plane with a half a tank of gas and fly into steel ships just for the love of their country!” he said, like a crazy person.

    Despite all that, Trump raised $2 million more than he expected, further evidence of the elite’s unique ability to stuff their ears with money when they need to tune someone out.

    Take that!

    1. R C Dean

      hosted by Donald Trump Jr. and his girlfriend Kimberly Guilfoyle

      The acorn doesn’t fall far from the tree. You go, Junior.

      1. Yusef drives a Kia

        Damn! KG is a victory for all Mankind! Go Don Jr!

        1. Crusty Juggler

          Ew

          1. She’s sloppy seconds from Gavin Newsom.

            It probably does drive Newsom crazy, though.

          2. Pan Zagloba

            EW EW EW EW EWWWWWWW!

    2. Suthenboy

      They still haven’t figured out how he got elected.

      1. hayeksplosives

        Brainwashing so extreme it eliminated all capacity for rational thought

    3. Rhywun

      further evidence of the elite’s unique ability to stuff their ears with money when they need to tune someone out

      Now do every Obama fundraiser.

  34. Count Potato

    “EXCLUSIVE: A dozen FBI agents raid Jeffrey Epstein’s ‘Pedophile Island’, pulling up to his Caribbean getaway in speedboats and roaming the grounds in golf carts, two days after pervert billionaire’s suicide”

    https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-7349729/Dozen-FBI-agents-raid-Jeffrey-Epsteins-Pedophile-Island.html

    It looks like there should be a guy in a white tuxedo.

    1. R C Dean

      Wait, they didn’t raid his island for more than a month after he was arrested? WTF?

      1. leon

        And they gave him two days to gather his stuff before fleeing to Brazil.

    2. leon

      Still haven’t seen evidence that he was a billionaire. Or that he is actually dead.

      1. Yusef drives a Kia

        OHHHH……Didn’t think of that…..

    3. Stinky Wizzleteats

      I assume any evidence that’s worth a damn was burned/thrown into the sea some time ago. Then again, the dude had naughty pics in the safe in his house so who knows.

      1. Dr. Fronkensteen

        Well the FBI needed to make sure the evidence was destroyed. Hence the raid after the guy dies. /adjust tin foil hat.

  35. Count Potato

    “Miley Cyrus PICTURE EXCLUSIVE: Star cosies up to Kaitlynn Carter days BEFORE confirming split from Liam Hemsworth (and Brody Jenner’s ex is still wearing that ‘wedding ring’)”

    https://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-7349773/Miley-Cyrus-cosies-Kaitlynn-Carter-confirming-split-Liam-Hemsworth.html

    “Miley Cyrus heads back to the music studio after shock marriage split from Liam Hemsworth”

    https://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-7349799/Miley-Cyrus-heads-music-studio-Liam-Hemsworth-breaks-silence-amid-shock-split.html

    1. Count Potato

      “‘You don’t understand what it’s like’: Downcast Liam Hemsworth breaks his silence on shock split from Miley Cyrus as he’s seen for the first time since the couple announced their breakup”

      https://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-7348187/A-downcast-Liam-Hemsworth-breaks-silence-shock-split-wife-Miley-Cyrus.html

      1. Crusty Juggler

        I, for one, am staunchly pro-facelicking. I stand with Miley!

      2. wdalasio

        ‘You don’t understand what it’s like

        Like what? To be a moron? Cyrus is a whole bag of crazy and then some and has been for the last decade. It’s not exactly like she’s even made any overtures about being interested in settling down. A more prudent guy would have taken her for what she was, a good time, but not someone you marry. Leaving was probably doing a favor.

    1. Suthenboy

      Cultural differences are a funny thing. Mention to a white South African that you eat pumpkin or fried catfish and they will never speak to you again.

      1. hayeksplosives

        Why is that? I genuinely don’t follow?

        1. Suthenboy

          In Africa blacks eat catfish and pumpkins so whites wont touch those foods and look down on anyone who does.

          Actually less than 100 years ago Americans wouldn’t eat tomatoes because Indians ate them.

          1. hayeksplosives

            Odd.

            I know that Yankees think watermelons, fried chicken, catfish, okra etc are only African American foods, but you and I both know they’re Southern foods.

          2. Yusef drives a Kia

            this^

          3. Gustave Lytton

            Not just southern

          4. Suthenboy

            Luckily the Italians and French got hold of tomatoes and made magic with them. Eventually Americans had to admit their mistake.

          5. Count Potato

            Spaniards.

          6. Count Potato

            I meant the Spanish made food out of them first.

          7. Count Potato

            Okra and watermelons are from Africa.

          8. creech

            And lobsters were for the help and prisoners.

          9. Count Potato

            Oysters were once consider poor people food.

          10. Tulip

            We now eat tilapia.

          11. BEAM ain’t co-operatin’ with the MAN

            Ah, tilapia. The tofu of the seas. {barf}

          12. Actually less than 100 years ago Americans wouldn’t eat tomatoes because Indians ate them.

            Good one, you almost got me.

          13. Suthenboy
          14. Tulip

            It is a nightshade

          15. Tulip

            Dinner tonight is a BLT with perfectly ripe tomatoes from my garden. And a martini.

          16. R C Dean

            It is a nightshade

            As are potatoes.

          17. Tulip

            Yes, and those were also greeted with suspicion.

          18. BEAM ain’t co-operatin’ with the MAN

            It’s amazing how many nightshade plants have become commercially-important food sources.

          19. Tulip

            Absolutely, but it isn’t crazy that they were initially regarded with suspicion. European’s first experience with nightshades was of a poisonous plant.

      2. Florida Man

        Because they’ve been murder on their farm?

    2. Certified Public Asshat

      Basic CPA likes cinnamon, nutmeg, and ginger.

      Pickled herring is the crime against humanity.

      1. Stinky Wizzleteats

        Any pickled fish is an abomination. The texture just doesn’t jibe with the taste.

      2. hayeksplosives

        Surströmming (Twice fermented pickled herring) is a crime against the universe

        1. Tres Cool

          see also- Lutefisk

      3. Gustave Lytton

        Pickled herring and herring in sour cream are delicious. I’m hungry just thinking about those little morsels.

        1. Count Potato

          They are, but I noticed their price went way up.

          Also, canned octopus is no longer octopus, but “octopus-style” squid.

        2. Tulip

          Not pickled, but herring in a coat (Russian dish) is delicious.

          1. Count Potato

            It’s so cold the fish need coats.

  36. Playa Manhattan

    Staged video of Beto changing a tire. And they couldn’t even get it right.

    https://twitter.com/JamesEBea/status/1160732590661414912?s=20

    1. The Other Kevin

      This, and all the photo ops of eating at the state fair, are just as bad as wearing a t-shirt over a dress shirt and tie.

    2. Mad Scientist

      /swoons

    3. Stinky Wizzleteats

      That would have been hilarious if he’d jacked the footboards clean off the truck.

      1. Drake

        I was waiting for it. But he’s so stupid, he didn’t realize that the tire has to be off the ground.

        What’s really amazing and revealing is that nobody else on his campaign could spot all the mistakes.

        1. Suthenboy

          “What’s really amazing and revealing is that nobody else on his campaign could spot all the mistakes.”

          That’s the first thing that struck me. Not one of those fuckwits have a clue how to change a tire. You cant make this stuff up.

          In other news my investment in Popcorn Unlimited Inc. seems to be paying off very well.

          1. Drake

            These people want to rule the country and literally for real cannot change a tire.

            I was pretty mean to Robby back in the day.

          2. Suthenboy

            They are also frightened by that loud mysterious thing in the sink.

            Yeah, retards that cant dress themselves want to run the country.

          3. R C Dean

            To be fair, I break the lugnuts loose before I start jacking up the vehicle. Because they’ve generally been put on by a halfwit with a pneumatic air gun and are practically welded to the fucking wheel, and I need leverage without the wheel moving.

            But, yeah, somebody got those lugnuts loose for him before the camera started rolling. Or he just barely escaped a very nasty losing-the-whole-wheel-on-the-highway thing.

          4. Tres Cool

            Ive never put a wheel on your car, I swear!

      2. Tundra

        Jack points are getting trickier to find, but that’s just hilarious!

        1. Suthenboy

          My cars all have a reinforced seam and stamped into the metal are the words ‘place jack here’.

      3. Gustave Lytton

        Is he actually jacking the running boards, or just a poor angle? In the first high angle shot it looks like the jack can be seen through the opening against the frame.

        1. Mad Scientist

          Yeah, I think he’s on the frame. I don’t see any indication that the running board flexes while he’s jacking.

        2. Doesn’t matter, the narrative is set.

      4. Tulip

        JFC my dad made my sister and I change a tire, change the oil, and identify various engine parts before we were allowed to take our driving test. It’s not that hard!

    4. Tundra

      OK, now I just feel sorry for him.

      1. hayeksplosives

        Right? Work on articulating plans and principles, not cutesy Everyman photo ops, especially when they’re fake!!

        Like Obama firing that gun with the stock up against his cheekbone.

      2. TARDIS

        Nope. No mercy. Fuck him. Well, not me. Someone else do it.

    5. Don Escaped Texas

      now do

      DIY home reno project shows
      reality survival shows
      newspaper editorials
      firearms arguments

      posers and the people who cover them . . . ugh!

      1. R C Dean

        DIY home reno project shows

        Yeah, those get an eyeroll from Mrs. Dean. Based on her actual experience with home renovation.

        It doesn’t happen that fast or that cheap. Whole house – 9 months, and our guy only worked on one house at a time. New kitchen for $15K? Sure, buddy. Hell, the new furniture on some of those shows is worth more than the reno budget.

        1. Scruffy Nerfherder

          I hate hate hate those shows. It just brings up memories of pain and poverty.

    6. Mad Scientist

      If you have to tell people you’re in charge, you’re not. If you have to tell people you’re a man who’s just like them…

    7. BakedPenguin

      Good, but I prefer the video of him skateboarding.

      *To be fair, it’s impossible to really tell if it’s him, due to the grainy video. But I like to think it is.

      1. creech

        But can he dance like AOC?

        1. BakedPenguin

          If that is him in that skate vid, I’d have to go with no. He probably would have tripped and fallen off the roof.

          Also, she was pretty hot back in the day.

          1. Count Potato

            She is still hot, she just needs ass.

  37. Crusty Juggler

    Can the “Beijing Bikini” help Tokyo bear the boiling heat during next year’s Games?

    A long-standing hot-weather technique among older guys in China has been to roll up their shirts to just under their chests creating the illusion of wearing something like a bra. Dubbed, the “Beijing Bikini” it has recently come under fire by local governments who are calling for a ban on the practice.

    Let’s get on this trend, men and people who want to be men but aren’t men of America. It’s time to free and cool. It’s time to live.

    1. The Other Kevin

      Just bring back those half-shirts that were popular in the 80’s.

        1. Crusty Juggler

          It’s not nearly as versatile as the Beijing bikini, like say for more formal occasions.

        2. Fourscore

          Looks like my regular size t-shirt with my belly hanging out

      1. The Other Kevin

        Exactly. much more stylish.

  38. Crusty Juggler

    Caitlyn Jenner is Roasting Alec Baldwin in September

    Comedy Central has released details about the upcoming Alec Baldwin Roast and included in the panel of celebrities who will take shots at Baldwin is Caitlyn Jenner. This isn’t Jenner’s first time roasting a fellow celebrity- a pre-transition Bruce Jenner took the stage for Dean Martin’s roast of fellow athlete Joe Namath. but it is Jenner’s first time since transitioning and changing her name to Caitlyn. Of course being on a roast isn’t just about throwing jabs, it also means being open to taking shots, which could mean some careful navigation by the rest of the performers. More than a few celebs have gotten some pushback for making jokes at Caityln’s expense- Dave Chappelle and Ricky Gervais among them.

    Joining Jenner on the dias will be the roastmaster general Jeff Ross as well as Robert De Niro, Blake Griffin, Debra Messing, Joel McHale and SNL castmember Chris Redd. Sean Hayes will serve as official Roast Master for the evening’s events.

    Those were the days.

    1. Drake

      Who has the balls to mention his name in Epstein’s little black book?

      1. Stinky Wizzleteats

        Alec’s in there? He needs to cancel any high profile shit and lay low for a while.

        1. Drake

          Nope. It’s all going to memory-holed immediately. Except foe Epstein’s (and nobody else’s) victims picking over his estate in lieu of hush money unless they want to be Clintonsided too.

    2. The Other Kevin

      Unless they’re actually roasting him on a spit I’m not interested.

      1. Gustave Lytton

        *marks TOK down as interested in seeing Jenner spitroasted*

        1. R C Dean

          Is there a Rule for when you just go shooting right past Rule 34?

    3. Rhywun

      some careful navigation by the rest of the performers

      Nothing says “roast” like the need to walk on eggshells or else get unpersoned.

  39. The Late P Brooks

    Staged video of Beto changing a tire. And they couldn’t even get it right.

    No footage of Trump’s brownshirts dragging him off a stage and setting him on fire?

    What a gyp.

    1. hayeksplosives

      Even Winnie Mandela knew how to change a tire….

      (Sorry—brain tangent from upthread)

      1. Tundra

        Brutal.

        1. Yusef drives a Kia

          if the Tire fits……

          1. R C Dean

            *gives up on a fire-appropriate rhyme with “fits”*

          2. JaimeRoberto: Gentleman, Scholar, French Tickler

            …it must be lits?

      2. Suthenboy

        Ouch. That is a pretty hard right cross you have there Hayek.

        1. hayeksplosives

          I misplaced my copy of Robby’s etiquette guide “How to Get Invited to All the Right Cocktail Parties”….

          1. Suthenboy

            We arent calling him Fruit Sushi anymore?

      3. Tres Cool

        ZING !

  40. The Late P Brooks

    Even Winnie Mandela knew how to change a tire….

    She was pretty good at doing burnouts, too.

  41. Drake

    CNN is on at the gym. Pravda was less biased and more believable.

    1. Count Potato

      So you get huge like Russian super athlete.

      1. Drake

        Da!

  42. Certified Public Asshat

    Katy Perry #metoo’d for a second time

    “This one time I brought a friend who was dying to meet her,” Kloss recalled. “It was Johny Wujek’s birthday party at Moonlight Rollerway. And when I saw her, we hugged and she was still my crush. But as I turned to introduce my friend, she pulled my Adidas sweats and underwear out as far as she could to show a couple of her guy friends and the crowd around us my penis.”

    “Can you imagine how pathetic and embarrassed I felt? I just say this now because our culture is set on proving men of power are perverse. But females with power are just as disgusting,” he wrote.

  43. Stinky Wizzleteats

    Looks like the Russians made an oopsie with a nuclear powered cruise missle:

    https://www.zerohedge.com/news/2019-08-12/russia-belatedly-admits-mystery-blast-involved-mini-nuclear-reactor

    Supposedly capable of mach 5 when it isn’t blowing up, not bad.

    1. Pan Zagloba

      and yet in the article

      In a video statement released on Sunday evening, a Russian Federal Nuclear Center official confirmed the agency’s work includes “miniaturised sources of energy using [fissile] materials”.

      This has been taken as a belated admission that Thursday’s deadly mystery explosion was a nuclear accident,

      So, Russia does not admit anything, ZeroHedge just clickbaits but since I don’t see any implied Jewish conspiracy, at least it’s new ground.

      1. Stinky Wizzleteats

        “I don’t see any implied Jewish conspiracy”
        I guess you didn’t read the comments then.

        1. Pan Zagloba

          I will cop to not reading comments on the rare occasion when I visit ZH, because I can always pop over to The Z Man comment section when need to See The Connections.

          1. Stinky Wizzleteats

            I hate myself for reading them but I find them fascinating. Their comment section is like a window into madness.

          2. Pan Zagloba

            That was me and Chateau Heartiste.

          3. R C Dean

            I generally check the Z Man’s blog every week or so. Smart guy, with some insights. Too much of a racialist/collectivist for me not to hit the brakes; he’s an excellent illustration of how the alt-right and proggy left are mirror images in many ways.

          4. Pan Zagloba

            For me it’s Gel-Mann effect of metaphorical brakes screeching every time he goes to history to make an analogy.

            If you want well-written explanation of collectivist right, Severian of Rotten Chestnuts is superior. He, at least, understands the culture war and the face of true enemy:

            This is where Normals grossly underestimate women like Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez. I’m personally terrified of AOC, because she is the embodiment of the Basic College Girl. Basic College Girls can’t be bargained with, they can’t be reasoned with, and the reason for both is: Both “bargaining” and “reasoning” imply that you think she’s doing something wrong, which is “h8.” And since “ur h8in,” that means you’re thinking about her more than she’s thinking about you, which means she’s validated, which means she wins. Which means she’s not only going to keep on doing what she’s doing, but will crank it up past 11, in order get more h8, to attract more h8rz.

            This is our future. Since the only way to deal with a Basic College Girl is to say “no” — all the time, to everything, unconditionally — and we as a society have lost the ability to do that, we’re screwed. Get to know your new mistress. Xzhyr name is Becky, and she’s everywhere.

            This is why I’m 100% on Team Joe for the latest Arm Rape Fake Controversy, BTW.

          5. R C Dean

            I’ll check it out. Thanks.

    2. Supposedly capable of mach 5 when it isn’t blowing up, not bad.

      It is just as powerful as Speed Racer’s car?

  44. Tundra

    ‘No men, no meat, no machines’: How a band of women tried to forge a female utopia

    Sounds icky and smelly to me.

    Amazon Acres never became the self-sufficient refuge some of its founders envisaged.

    In the remote place with poor soil, the women tried everything from cultivating orchids to growing potatoes — they did allow chainsaws and a tractor eventually — but without success.

    Yet for all the difficulties, the lands have been and still remain a “healing space” for a lot of women, says Ms Hall.

    The women of Amazon Acres, now in their 60s and 70s, say they’re proud of what they achieved and what they learnt.

    They still recall the joy of living free, of nights spent around the campfire under brilliant skies, with youthful voices raised in women’s song.

    No-one lives at Amazon Acres full-time any more, but the spirit of the early vision lives on.

    The land itself is still owned by the co-operative, ready to be handed on to the next generation if they ever decide to dream a mountain dream of their own.

    Yep. Smelly.

    1. wdalasio

      So, what spelled the demise of Amazon Acres? Did somebody spot a spider and there wasn’t anyone around to kill it?

      1. Dr. Fronkensteen

        No machines. They didn’t want to live without their vibrators.

    2. Stinky Wizzleteats

      Was there prodigious snu snu?

    3. Suthenboy

      “Amazon Acres never became the self-sufficient refuge some of its founders envisaged.”

      No shit?! Wow.

    1. Scruffy Nerfherder

      When I was a kid I lived very near the salt marsh. Fiddler crabs would storm our swimming pool by the thousands looking for water when it got dry out.

  45. AlmightyJB

    Guess we need another Willie Wonka movie

    https://www.foxnews.com/auto/son-pushes-bmw-river-jaguar

    1. Mad Scientist

      The lad’s father said, “I wanted to give my son a birthday present. We could only afford to give him a BMW, while he kept on insisting that he be given a Jaguar. He said the vehicle was too small but we thought he will be okay.

      “We never imagined he would do anything like this.”

      Aww, what a precocious little scamp!

    2. Spudalicious

      I would replace the Beamer with a set of walking shoes, and a finger pointing out the door.

    3. mikey

      The Menendez borthers murdered their parents because (among thihgs) the parnets bought the kids Alfas instead of Porshes

    1. did she shoot herself in the nuts?

      1. leon

        Yes, right after telling her dying uncle Trump had been impeached.

        1. Spudalicious

          Is that when the dope fell out of her butt.

    2. Suthenboy

      Isn’t she the one that was running around LA in a panic because she thought the city worker’s spray painted code markings were swastikas painted all over the city?

      Yeeeeyikes.

        1. Suthenboy

          That is some high grade crazy right there. Good Lord, talk about brainwashed.

    3. hayeksplosives

      Is this why I can’t ever find Tropic Thunder on Netflix?

  46. Count Potato
    1. Suthenboy

      Whoah. Whut the hell is that?

      1. R C Dean

        A poorly photoshopped picture, that’s what.

        1. TARDIS

          But still funny. I giggled.

    2. AlmightyJB

      I’m dying. lol

    3. Tulip

      Oh God! I was so sure there was only one of him

    4. Pan Zagloba

      Wait, I thought HM was the redneck.

      1. Heroic Mulatto

        They threw me out when my truck wasn’t lifted enough.

    1. Fatty Bolger

      Can’t blame the guy for wanting to get high with all that screaming and yelling going on.

      1. AlmightyJB

        Yeah, no shit. People need to settle down.

    1. Suthenboy

      Wait…the guy contesting this is named Goldstein? Really?

      Why any Jews live outside Israel or the US is a mystery to me.

      1. Pan Zagloba

        Money? Weather? Food? Wine? Women?

        1. If you eliminate all the places Suthen finds unfit to live you would be left with one or two parishes in boonies of Louisiana.

          1. Suthenboy

            ^This guy gets it^

  47. Tulip

    Hey Mike! The gin arrived. Thank you. I’m having a martini tonight despite it being a work night.

    1. R C Dean

      That’s a weird autocorrect for “because its”.

  48. Gustave Lytton

    Putin: biker and submariner

    https://youtu.be/5JBGpBZU3SI

    That microphone handoff reminds me of the water bottle scene from Techno Viking.

  49. Tulip

    Online dating dispatch: I can only describe the last guy I met as a mistake I would have been all over in my 20s. I am older and wiser now, but he makes me miss those days.

    1. Suthenboy

      Don’t miss ’em. I cant tell you how many bullets I barely dodged. Older and wiser is so much easier on the mind, soul and wallet.

      1. Tulip

        Yeah, but they were fun. He seems really fun (and yes, bad for me today), but we would have fun. It just wouldn’t be worth it.

        1. Pan Zagloba

          Far be it from me to give advice on the topic, but if you know what he is and can cut him out when he starts acting in accordance to his nature, why not some fun?

          1. Tulip

            Too big a risk to my security clearance.

          2. BEAM ain’t co-operatin’ with the MAN

            Damn. Sorry. I was gonna suggest the “use him and then toss him aside like a bottle of cheap wine” route, as any good shitlady would obviously do.

        2. Crusty Juggler

          But now you are wise enough to know it would just be fun and to use him and then discard him.

          C’mon.

    2. DenverJ

      I don’t remember dating you.

      1. Tulip

        We’ve, my 20s are a bit of a blur

        1. DenverJ

          😉

  50. DenverJ

    Ello everyone. Well, my TDS suffering GF has heard reports that Barr visited Epstein the night he died (according to a mobster in the jail), that Trump was named in court by Epstein as the guy who procured the girls, that Trump was named as the rapist by 3 of the girls, and that the video from the jail is missing.
    This time, they got him for sure!

    1. Crusty Juggler

      Prove Barr wasn’t there. Prove it.

      You can’t, can you?

      1. BEAM ain’t co-operatin’ with the MAN

        GASP!

        I CAN’T PROVE YOU WEREN’T THERE, EITHER!

        1. Crusty Juggler

          It really makes you think.

      2. DenverJ

        Of course not, the tapes are missing.

    2. BEAM ain’t co-operatin’ with the MAN

      Apparently, your GF’s clinically presenting.

      RUN AWAY! RUN AWAY!

    3. Spudalicious

      Not even CNN is pushing that crap.

      1. DenverJ

        Yeah, I’m trying to figure out her “source”.

        1. ‘Jailed Mobster’ seems legit.

        2. BEAM ain’t co-operatin’ with the MAN

          She can’t tell you?

          Clinically. Presenting.

          1. hayeksplosives

            She must be very talented.

            My husband’s first wife had some early signs (including that her mother had a pyramid of government cheese in her garage—the insanity ran in the family it turns out). He ignored them and married her anyway.

            That lasted slightly over a year.

          2. DenverJ

            She is a very talented and credentialed teacher of voice, as well as an extremely talented singer herself. One of her students sang on Glow in the episode we watched last night. Don’t know if it’s a reoccuring role. She has many other students who have attained industry success.
            But, yeah, she’s got the TDS bad.

          3. Suthenboy

            I have a very talented cousin. He also thinks Louisiana is run by a cabal of state policemen that meet secretly and take their orders from a magical Cuckoo clock. On the appointed hour during their sooper seekret meeting the clock chimes and the bird pops out and gives them orders.

            I shit you not. A Cuckoo clock. Poor guy. He has good days and bad days.

        3. R C Dean

          Hey, she read it on the internet. They can’t put anything on the internet unless its true, right?

        4. Brett L

          Errrm. Have you asked her if that information is being transmitted directly to her brain?

        5. Scruffy Nerfherder

          Democratic Underground

          Like I said, so sorry for you. It’s terminal.

    4. JaimeRoberto: Gentleman, Scholar, French Tickler

      I hope the sex is good. Yours, not the prison.

    5. JaimeRoberto: Gentleman, Scholar, French Tickler

      It is true that Epstein was behind Barrs. Dots, connected.

    6. R C Dean

      Barr visited Epstein the night he died

      So Barr personally greased him? Dang, that’s hardcore.

      1. DenverJ

        Oh Barr is a bad ass. He also looks remarkably like Norm from Cheers.

    7. Scruffy Nerfherder

      So sorry man.

  51. Tulip

    Online dating dispatch: there are guys who definitely have a script in mind and want you to fit into it. I’m still working out how to explain this, but you definitely know it when you see it.

    1. Tulip

      And, they get mad if you don’t fit their script

      1. hayeksplosives

        That sounds like hell.

        Even “chat rooms” regardless of alleged theme, Can get weird in a hurry with creeps telling women what to post or private messaging them. No thanks.

        1. Tulip

          Yeah, I I initially said I’d give this 6 months. Now, I’m really ready to quit

          1. Suthenboy

            when you stop looking that’s when you find the right one.

          2. Tulip

            Blah,blah, blah. I’ve heard that before.

          3. Sean

            Don’t give up, but you can always reconsider your strategy.

          4. hayeksplosives

            I can be your wing(wo)man!!

            Come out to the coast! We’ll have a few laughs!

  52. hayeksplosives

    We often joke “pics or it didn’t happen”, and video is even more convincing.

    But photo manipulation and the 100% digital actor are getting more and more advanced.

    When will it be to the point that any visual recordings later than a certain date are no longer admissible as evidence?

    1. Tulip

      I hope so

      1. hayeksplosives

        I fear when the videos/images are thrown out, it will be after the convictions of the last few innocents caught by false evidence.

    2. DenverJ

      Never. It’s much too nice a tool for prosecutors and government in general.

      1. Stinky Wizzleteats

        Pretty neat…

      2. AlmightyJB

        That’s weird

    3. I wonder if when digital manipulation becomes undetectable (that is if it hasn’t already) we wont go back to tape or some other analog(?) method of recording security type things. As long as there is a market for knowing exactly what happened when, I’d think “we” will find a solution.

      1. hayeksplosives

        That occurred to me too. Is there a way to make sure it’s real “film” and not faked? I could see that becoming a thing.

    4. Old Man With Candy

      So wait, you’re actually flatchested?

  53. hayeksplosives

    Apologies if someone already posted this, but the BabBee has done it again:

    https://babylonbee.com/news/shooter-walks-free-as-police-tackle-arrest-ar-15

    1. DenverJ

      Meh. I’d prefer parody.