Sir Digby’s Adventures in Product Promotion

I want a report on your initial excursions wearing the shirts. That could be a nice article.
You could have pictures of the shirts, and such. It’s time you Contributed, boy!

– CPRM


 

As you probably know by now, CPRM has a The Hat and The Hair merch store on CafePress, and, after heeding my advice, has opened one on Redbubble, too.  I’ve been buying crap stuff from Redbubble over the last several months, and really like the scope/variety and quality of what they offer.  It also helps that Redbubble is always having some kind of sale/online coupon (hint, hint).  So, when his store went up, of course I was gonna buy something.  And, that something was t-shirts.

I decided on the classic H&H design, as well as a Gropin’ Joe 2020 shirt.  Redbubble has a lot of different styles of shirts for men/unisex, women, and kids.  I always go with their ‘classic’ t-shirt, which is made using Gildan tees—medium weight with easy-to-remove tags.  I can’t speak as to what the other styles use.  Maybe you should go check them out and see what they offer.

The shirt color selection was the most difficult part of this process.  I usually eschew lighter colors in t-shirts. However, the designs require a lighter background in order to see everything clearly—to really make ‘em pop!  On top of this, I try to have some variety in my t-shirt collection, which I usually accomplish with t-shirts of various (dark) colors.  Purple seemed to preview the H&H design well on the site, so, purple it was.  I broke with my usual habit, and chose light blue for the Gropin’ Joe shirt.  It just seemed so…correct.  After a few button pushes, they were paid for, and all I had to do was wait for them to arrive.

In a mere eight days, it was mail call.  Here’s the star of our show:

I don't need no instructions to know how to rock!
The Namesake

Here’s Joe—with a smile that just takes hold of you:

Yes, Joe; you're very metal...
That smile….

An interesting fact about Redbubble’s shirts:  They stink.  I mean, the chemical smell is pretty strong.  It’s a glue-like smell that’s from the manufacturing process.  They even come with these little notes, attached by miniature clothes pins, that I could have sworn talked about the smell.  I must be remembering something from an earlier order.  Anyway, here are a couple of pics of those tags:

Very sweet of you, Redbubble
I thought it told you the shirts stink. Guess I was wrong.
In case you forgot
They sure know how to promote themselves.

They put these on each and every t-shirt in an order.  Why?  Make-ready work, I guess.  In any event, it doesn’t seem very eco-friendly to me.  I note this because Redbubble is an Aussie company, whose State-side presence is an office in San Francisco.  They also include at least one company sticker in each order, although they sometimes put in several.

I'll pass, thank you.
Zombie Pandas?
It's the one on the upper right.
A smattering of stickers

They are a quasi-nice little ‘extra’, and, I admit I look forward to seeing which ones I get.  They seem to have a rather limited pool of designs from which they pick, so, the experience can be kind of ‘meh’.  I have to admit that I’m not keen on “zombie pandas”; cute, or, gruesome, but not both. If I had my druthers, I would go with the quasi-The Quiet Earth design. They probably know this, and are just screwing with me.  Now that the shirts have arrived, though, they need to be washed, air-dried, then put through a few “fluff” cycles (I am not a Philistine!), which will take the better part of a day.

Though all of this, CPRM’s words kept sounding in my brain:  “It’s time you Contributed, boy!”   Do a write-up of buying and wearing t-shirts.  Not exactly Hunter S. Thompson territory, but I’d give it a shot.  That led me to the question:  Just where would I carry out this task?   CPRM suggested that I go to a Starbucks –he’s such a kidder!  If I did that, I probably wouldn’t stick around after getting my order, considering I even managed to find something worth giving them money.  No, this was going to have to be somewhere where I would conceivably spend time productively, while surrounded by other humans, which also ruled out the DMV.

If it's so super, why are they using the wrong symbol?
A fancy Target, apparently.

I figured that I might as well get some regular retail shopping done, and, this just happened to be the location of previous unexpected interactions with strangers (no changing rooms were involved, dammit).  I considered the fact that it has a Starbuck’s inside only slightly ironic.  “Slightly”, because it is a Target in Plano, Texas:  an area where people seem to crave burnt, over-priced coffee.  I’d have to swing a really big “dead cat” to find suitable alternatives, and, yes-I’m excluding McCafé.

The first associate that said “Hi” to me did seem to take a quick scan of my shirt, but nothing came of it.  That would describe just about every interaction I had that day.  Moms with their kids; busy clerks merchandising whatever section they happened to be in; wanderers like me.  Some eye contact, and, maybe a quick scan of the shirt, but, no reactions.  I shopped for about an hour and a half.  Actually, it was mostly just wandering around and seeing if I could find anything worthwhile.  I actually had a mission of sorts, that I will get to in the next section.  While I probably missed out on a greater opportunity for chat by going to a self-checkout line, I did end up getting assistance from the poor guy who has to fix screw-ups (I scanned the wrong barcode on a sale item).  Nada from him, too.  Paid, and out the door, it was time for a quick stop at the booze shop.

Speaking of 'fancy': hoo boy!
Just use your imagination, people!

I didn’t even think of taking a picture of the store.  Mostly because, I was on a mission to get the FIL a belated Father’s Day gift.  It seems Amazon just up and lost track of it sometime over the holiday weekend, and, we didn’t find out until this particular day.  As it was, we were headed up to see my In-laws the day after all of this, so, we would just take him some hooch.  He is fond of a certain blackberry Merlot that I had introduced him to some years back, and I needed to stop at the only store I could find that carried it.  It was a last-minute addition to my excursion, and it only barely registered with me that I might have an opportunity for explaining this cartoon president on my shirt.  I needed help finding this back-water gem, and the clerk that drew the short straw with me was very helpful.  I didn’t sense much interest in him, until just as we were parting company.  I saw that he gave the shirt a scan (Hey!  My eyes are up here!), when I thought I caught just the barest hint of a question forming about it.  I guess he thought better about getting wrapped up in a conversation about a funny YouTube animated series.  Your loss, Mr. alcohol-finder-helper-guy.  A quick monetary exchange at the register—I couldn’t sense any curiosity in the cashier—and I was off to…

too many damned trees!
It’s some kind of thumb, I think.

I had to buy rice.  It was as thrilling and lively as that sounds.  Most of the shoppers were older folk.  A couple of moms with kids.  It was a big goose egg.  Even the checkout clerk managed to avoid eye contact.  So much for customer service, I guess.  I went with Success Boil-in-bag rice, and, some Tony Chachere’s Chicken flavored rice, if you’re curious.  Of course, I remembered to take a picture here, where there was no place that allowed for an unobstructed shot.  After almost burning out my retinas in the noon sun, I was ready for my last stop.

The black hole of Frisco
Not just a partial Costco, you see.

While I had hoped that the Mecca of warehouse-club consumerism would be more fertile ground, I had become sort of pessimistic.  The greeter/card-checker was pleasant enough, and, he did seem to look directly at the shirt for a good second.  We exchanged “hellos”, and in I went.  Damn; I thought he might jump.  OK, I had my shopping list, and figured that I would take a sort of ‘hover/saunter’ approach. I would take my time making picks, in order to give others a chance to get a good look at the shirt.  I would consider the area to be conservative, and, it wouldn’t be out of line to find some people that got a chuckle out of the design.  Pork chops:  check.  Cherries and blueberries:  check.  USDA Prime tenderloin cuts:  you better believe that’s a check.  I was in my grocery element, trying to not be too obvious in flaunting my wardrobe choice.  As it turns out, I wasn’t too obvious.  At all.  Even when I picked up a Costco rotisserie chicken, the guys in the back barely took notice of me.  And, it was a glorious chicken, indeed.

I'll take this bullet for our vegetarian friends.
Golden Brown Perfection

C’mon—the butcher/meat counter guys should be a prime demographic for a curious chuckle at the expense of The Hat and The Hair.  Really?  Did I need to wave them down?  Tom Thumb meat counter dudes were always talkative; maybe Costco thought their people didn’t need to go that route when it came to cutting up meat for their customers?  After what seemed like a Target amount of time wandering the store, I was ready to check out.  They had self-checkout lines, which was new to me.  Probably another poor choice on my part if I wanted human interaction, but I was curious to see if these were a good idea for Costco (they were/are).  I had also come to not expect much conversation from these employees, due to the need to keep the lines moving.  They had a screw-up fixer who hovered around the kiosks to watch for whatever evil might crop up in a Costco checkout line.  He did a quick sweep by me, with some kind of greeting.  I was actually concentrating on the process, as I didn’t bring my bags inside with me, and I was trying to calculate if I had enough room on the pressurized counter.  It was awkward unloading a cart, just to load it back up the same way, but I got through the ordeal unscathed.  On the way out, while passing the food court seating, I realized I was being stared at by a young guy who was aaalmost in the right league for the half-ugly blonde sitting next to him.

You eye-ballin’ me, son?  ‘Cause I’ll whoop you like Patton for a-

Oh, right; the t-shirt!  Actually, he was giving me a sort of half-sneer that could have either been aimed at me, or, the shirt.  Maybe both; I’m sure I presented some sort of challenge to his sexual primacy, wearing this funky fresh example of CPRM’s cleverness.  In hindsight, I really shouldn’t blame the guy.  Hell, if I had to do it over again, I would have let him know that he could get his own H&H swag at www.redbubble.com/people/cprm  It might actually make a man out of him.

And, that was that.  I was finished with my excursion and needed to get home so I could unpack.  It was pretty much a goose egg for me in this experiment.  I just needed to record my observations and thoughts on the day.  I arrived just before a shipment of some of the finest coffee around was delivered, which picked up my spirits immensely.  I think the postal delivery lady scanned the shirt, but I can’t be sure—she was already smiling when we exchanged pleasantries.  It was about this time that CPRM’s words crept up on me again: “wearing the shirts.”  Right!  I have a Gropin’ Joe t-shirt that the world hasn’t seen.  Damn…  Well, I’ll have to worry about that later.

Right now, I have a lunch date with a Costco rotisserie chicken.

Comments

575 responses to “Sir Digby’s Adventures in Product Promotion”

  1. CPRM

    You are the bethtestht -The Hat

  2. Nephilium

    The only time I had an entertaining encounter at Target was when I was on my way to a Halloween party. I was dressed as Alex, the lovely droog from Clockwork Orange. As I’m walking down the isle, whistling to myself. I watched a young mother look at me, do a double take, then pick her children up and set them down so they would be on the opposite side of her when they passed me. I just gave a friendly, “‘ello, ‘ello, ‘ello!”

    1. Raphael

      Horrorshow, my droog.

  3. Sean

    I want to hear about a trip to a gun store or show with one of the ?s.

  4. That Target looks familiar. Is that the one off Coit?

    1. Sir Digby (PBUH)

      No, Plano at DNT-other side of Shops at Willowbend.

  5. Rhywun

    Plano, Texas

    Now do Portland or San Francisco.

    1. Sean

      You just want him to get shit on his shoes.

      1. Bobarian LMD

        That happens getting out of the car.

  6. Raphael

    Thanks for the write-up, Sir Digby. I’m looking forward to reading about your experience with the Gropin’ Joe shirt.

    On a side note, I can’t wait till after I move to get some Glibs and H&H shirts. I also still want the LGBT (Liberty, Guns, Beer, Tits) and the “I like beer” shirts I’ve been seeing floating online.

    1. Nephilium

      I picked up one of the I like beer shirts and wore it for Thanksgiving. I hosted, so I didn’t have to worry about anyone getting upset. 🙂

      My dad made it a point to tell me his shirt size when he saw the shirt.

      1. Raphael

        Excellent, I take it the shirt gets a beer/10 review.

    2. Sir Digby (PBUH)

      I already have a very small bit of fodder for the next article. Let’s just say that involves a sort of joke from this one.

  7. Trigger Hippie

    Nice write up. It’s a shame you didn’t get a comment out in the wild. It would probably take several outings to finally get one considering the shirt doesn’t exactly make it clear if it’s mocking or a sign of support. A bar setting would be more likely loosen people’s lips.

    Hang in there. Ive had my STEVE SMITH SAY RELAX baseball t for over a year and still haven’t gotten a comment.

    1. CPRM

      I got a comment right off the bat about my hat and hair mug, unfortunately it was from my 8yr old niece, with which I’m not going to broach politics. “Nothing, don’t ask about it, go play…”

      1. Sean

        You missed out on a Amway style recruitment opportunity there.

        Womp womp.

        1. CPRM

          Heh, when I showed an older niece she, against my request, became a patron.

          1. commodious spittoon

            *older niece stumbles on SF stories*

            *older niece gets CPRM excommunicated from the family, and civilization*

      2. Scruffy Nerfherder

        You have failed us.

        It is our solemn duty to pass on the depravity.

      3. Trigger Hippie

        Just tell her it’s from an adult cartoon for adults, like South Park, but more soul destroying.

        1. CPRM

          My sister isn’t good at monitoring what her kids watch, that concept would probably be lost her.

  8. zwak

    So, when are we going to get a NEWSISH shirt? That’s all I ask for in life, except maybe one of the gropin’ joe shirts…

    1. CPRM

      I’d say that’s up to Baked Penguin, who is not me, so I don’t know.

    2. Raphael

      Don’t mind me, just sitting here waiting for the eventually WANNAFUD? shirt.

      1. CPRM

        I’m not drawing Kennedy mutant rapists!..yet.

      2. Raphael

        I’d also love a shirt dedicated to the drunk hobo.

        1. Bobarian LMD

          Like this?

      3. Sean

        *whispers*

        “Make it glow in the dark.”

      4. Florida Man

        I can’t read “wannafud” without thinking of Tulip now.

          1. Not Adahn

            I’m hoping that she keeps us updated with a running tally of 1) dick pics and 2) marriage proposals.

          2. MikeS

            And 3) rock stars that can instantly make her wet with just their voice.

  9. Scruffy Nerfherder

    I’m trying to decide on which one to get my father.

    1. CPRM

      I’d say both, but I’m a greedy soul destroying capitalist that only worries about hoarding fiat currency.

      1. Scruffy Nerfherder

        He does like Diet Coke. Problem solved.

        1. Count Potato

          I don’t know how anyone drinks that stuff.

          1. Gustave Lytton

            Usually from either a glass, a cup, or the can.

          2. Gustave Lytton

            Or a bottle.

          3. Raphael

            *golf claps*

          4. Count Potato

            Thanks, Ted.

          5. Nephilium

            Ted, drinking a carbonated beverage? The man doesn’t even like beer!

  10. Count Potato

    Thanks for the alt-text 🙂

    “Right now, I have a lunch date with a Costco rotisserie chicken.”

    Well, we’re not into kink shaming here.

    1. Sir Digby (PBUH)

      CP, I’ll tell ya—like many dates in my youth, this ended with the chick getting eaten.

      HEYOO!!

      1. Raphael

        *narrows gaze*

        1. Sir Digby (PBUH)

          C,mon, Raph; you had to know I was dying to tell that one after all that.

          1. Raphael

            That was for the Swiss Meister. You have my personal validation (however little value it may have).

        2. Gustave Lytton

          It’s not his fault that the chicks dig him.

          1. Sir Digby (PBUH)

            Fuckin’ A, Gustave. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have to go put on my skin toner mask…

      2. commodious spittoon

        So these idiots court illegal immigration for the past couple years, because now with Chocolate Jesus out of office, it’s no longer as much a liability

        Immigrants begin streaming over the border illegally

        OMFG there’s a crisis of illegal border crossings, and it’s Trump’s fault!

  11. Count Potato

    Anyway, store employees aren’t likely say anything bad to the customers. They don’t want to lose their jobs.

    When I bought a machete and hockey mask — my only two items — no one said anything.

    1. CPRM

      She was married to Woody Allen while he was having sex with their adopted daughter.

      1. commodious spittoon

        I’m not saying it’s right or proper to sleep with your adopted daughter… but his adopted daughter probably doesn’t pine for a mass murderer commie thug.

        1. CPRM

          I don’t think she pines at all, unless Woody tells her to.

    2. Gustave Lytton

      Rosanna Arquette

      For my 12 th birthday my parents got me a tee shirt with Che Guevara on it. Along with the autobiography of Malcom X those were the days.

    3. Count Potato

      Christ, what an asshole.

  12. Count Potato

    I still think it’s odd the DNC (or whoever) won’t let Fox broadcast the debates.

    1. CPRM

      Meh. I don’t remember ever seeing an RNC debate on MSNBC.

      1. Count Potato

        But it’s not like the RNC wouldn’t let them. Wasn’t the first one last time on CNN? I remember thinking, “They found a plane!”

        1. CPRM

          Yeah, as far as I know, this is the first time it’s been expressly verboten from either party. But still meh.

    2. Rhywun

      Christ-fag bush-pigs.

      That clear it up?

    3. Ayn Random Variation

      Please please please Uncle Joe open with this and I will vote for you:

      Huh? My story? Okay. It was never easy for me. I was born a poor black child. I remember the days, sittin’ on the porch with my family, singin’ and dancin’ down in Mississippi.”

    4. Rebel Scum

      I thought they didn’t want them to host. They don’t want them to even broadcast? Talk about some tolerance and inclusion…

  13. Spudalicious

    Here we go! I made it 38 minutes last night. We’ll see how it goes tonight.

    1. Raphael

      Good luck and stay strong.

      1. Sir Digby (PBUH)

        What did I miss???

        1. Raphael

          I believe Night 1 of the Dem Debates went along the lines of: RUSSIA AND CLIMATE CHANGE WILL KILL US ALL, nobody “deserves” money they earned, and abortions for trannies too.

          1. Sir Digby (PBUH)

            Right—the dem-bates.

  14. Rebel Scum

    Define “paid for”.

  15. Florida Man

    I really enjoyed your writing style. Very entertaining. I’m looking forward to your next installment.

    1. Tonio

      ^This. Thanks, Digby.

      1. Sir Digby (PBUH)

        No, no—thank YOU!

    2. Sir Digby (PBUH)

      I appreciate that, FM. I’ve been hoping this was gonna be glib-worthy. Like, a expertly-restored car, or, a drunk co-ed.

  16. Tonio

    “They will pay more in taxes.” Surprising honesty from Grandpa Gulag.

    Good evening, kids.

  17. Tonio

    Um, he’s not Vice President any more, hon.

  18. I don’t get much extra from the tax cut, but Id like to keep that little bit that I did get.

    1. Ayn Random Variation

      Apparently I’m the only person I know who got a tax cut. All the progs I know who make more than me insist they got screwed. It must be that only my exact income got a cut.

      1. Florida Man

        It’s the way they reduced payroll deductions. Until I compared my 2018 return to my 2017 return, I didn’t really notice the cut, even though I made 3k more, I paid 5k less in taxes.

        1. Gustave Lytton

          A little opposite for me, but still worked out favorably. I made $5k less, but paid $5k less. Last fall I was beginning to worry that I wasn’t withholding enough.

        2. creech

          There probably aren’t 1 in 10 Americans who can do the math, or thought to do it.

    2. Rhywun

      ^Look at Mister 1%er up here

      1. You know me . . . a few years ago I moved up from my 1995 Buick Regal to a 1996 Oldsmobile LSS (the fancy version of the 88)

        1. DrOtto

          3.8 SC or 3.8 NA?

          1. Regal NA, Olds SC

  19. Rebel Scum

    The fuck is Swallowswell doing on stage?

    1. Bobarian LMD

      It’s in the name?

  20. Ayn Random Variation

    Trump nazi free college reparations open borders transgender abortion taxes

  21. Sir Digby (PBUH)

    Sce others are talking about Glib/possible glib items they want, I would like to formally request a Gliberarians store on Redbubble. Nothing disparaging about CafePress. I just can’t find sizes and/or colors for the designs I like, and could if all things were ALSO available through RB.

    I really, really want a “My other car is your mom” t-shirt. Yeah, t-shirt.

    Also, currently 20% off all merch at RB with code DEAL20. Show CPRM some money love with a purchase.

    Also, also: thanks for the feedback, and the bro love from the links yesterdat evening. I have training during the day and have a “normal” sched through tomorrow.

  22. Old Man With Candy

    I am watching this shit tonight. The good news: I’m watching it with SP and SugarFree.

    1. Old Man With Candy

      And nice dewlap, Joe.

    2. Spudalicious

      They obviously watched last night and collectively said, “hold my beer”.

    3. CPRM

      You transported SugarFree across state lines?! I’m pretty sure that is an act of war.

    4. Ayn Random Variation

      Drunk or high?

      1. Old Man With Candy

        Yes.

    5. Rhywun

      I am watching this shit tonight.

      #metoo

      Nothing else on. I’m gonna cook up a Negroni soon – these idiots are already making my head hurt.

      Ooo! A value added tax! How European.

      1. Nephilium

        I just had to reboot a server after hours, while I’m fighting with my boss about an on call schedule. I’ve only got one more beer in the room, but I did see the hotel bar has an expression of Glenlivet I’m not familiar with from the box. If my day continues down that path, I may have to try it.

    6. Raphael

      That sounds…magical. You get to see the thoughts and inspirations for H&H in real time.

      1. That sounds…magical

        Is that code for disturbing?

        1. Bobarian LMD

          Sort of like the engine room in the Event Horizon

    7. Don Escaped Texas

      I’m a hardened target: four beers here before turning it on

  23. If she wasn’t crazy, I’d have a thing for Savannah Guthrie. Not sure why, she’s usually not my type.

  24. Rebel Scum

    It’s “dignifying” to take a handout? Especially one stolen from someone else?

  25. Old Man With Candy

    Why is Bernie’s hair combed?

    1. Rebel Scum

      Definitely out of character.

  26. Spudalicious

    “On day one, I will repeal the tax bill.”

    On day one, Emperor Harris will repeal a duly passed law of the United States…

  27. Gustave Lytton

    Fresh Old Fashioned w/ Bulleit Rye. I’m ready for the debate, once removed via the comments here.

  28. Rebel Scum

    Well I don’t need ointment for that Bern. I get to keep 2 weeks worth of groceries more of my money every month.

  29. Tonio

    Gillibrand is a loon.

    1. As opposed to the rest of those composed folks on stage.

    2. Gustave Lytton
      1. Count Potato

        Rhywun needs to go pick up his mom 🙂

        1. Rhywun

          She’s a bit young to be my mom. Also, alive.

          1. Count Potato

            Sorry 🙁

          2. Ayn Random Variation

            What an asshole!

          3. Rhywun

            Heh, no big deal. It was 10 years ago.

    3. Don Escaped Texas

      has a Chucky quality

  30. Count Potato

    Gordon Gekko hates Kirsten Gillibrand.

  31. Old Man With Candy

    I don’t know who the fuck Bennet is. But he gets Bernie scowling, so he can’t be all bad.

  32. Fourscore

    Well, Sir Digby, you did your part, you tried your best but Plano people are more the high school football type and not cutting edge like We Glibs. Try Austin, if you don’t get any notice there its not you, its them. They are back water pretenders and will be easy targets when a real libertarian wins the White House.

    1. Sir Digby (PBUH)

      Yeah, no on Austin. Wife can’t stand it, and I barely can. Of course, I don’t exude an aura of, “come chat with me”, either. And it wasn’t just Plano—it was actually more Frisco. Well, half ‘n’ half, I guess.

  33. Count Potato

    Now the gay guy is speaking Spanish?

  34. Old Man With Candy

    Spanish! Nice, Buttgig!

    1. Rhywun

      I didn’t see that coming.

      1. Count Potato

        Wait, are you saying you people aren’t Hispanic?

        Anderson Cooper has a sad.

  35. Tonio

    Okay, speaking a phrase in Spanish is the new obligatory virtue signal for the Dems.

    1. If I were onstage I’d answer in Russian.

      1. Tonio

        So not ready for primetime.

      2. Nephilium

        Not German to show how much of a Nazi you are?

        1. Rhywun

          Ich bin d’ran!

        2. I’d save that for the Republican debate . . . .the communist language is for the dems

    2. Ownbestenemy

      Whats even better is polling showed that last night Spanish was seen as pandering so naturally…keep doing it?

      1. Florida Man

        People think that the Dems are trying to import millions of immigrants to illegally vote in US elections and they assuage those fears by speaking in Spanish?

      2. Bobarian LMD

        “Pandering’s a good thing, right?”

        /Everybody in the clown car.

    3. Tejicano

      I wonder how many virtue signal points I would get for telling a joke in Japanese?

  36. Rebel Scum

    “needs to be affordable”

    Stop subsidizing it.

  37. Tonio

    Ohhhhhh… student debt oppression Olympics.

  38. Spudalicious

    Booty-gag was about to have a defining moment regarding not needing a college education, and then he fumbled the ball with a call for an increase to the minimum wage.

    1. Tonio

      Perhaps best nickname so far. Turns out his name is more syllabic than one would have imagined.

      1. Raphael

        Jon Miller calls him, “Booty Judge”. I do dig Booty-gag too, but damn me if Booty Judge is not the pimpest name.

        1. Sir Digby (PBUH)

          That IS pimp! Said in my best Superbad Seth tone.

  39. Old Man With Candy

    SF: Swallwell looks like a guy who was in an accident and was put back together wrong.

    1. Rebel Scum

      Like Mark Hamill in Empire Strikes Back, but worse.

    2. Count Potato

      I’m no Gilmore, but that tie is awful.

    3. Nephilium

      So… he’s Darkman?

      1. CPRM

        + a few Fake Shemps

      2. Bobarian LMD

        But not the Liam Neeson version.

  40. Old Man With Candy

    Is this the Donger speaking now?

    1. Bobarian LMD

      Where’s my automobile?

  41. Spudalicious

    I think Biff Swallowswell is vying for DiFi’s Senate seat. Although he just nicely shivved Biden.

    1. Rebel Scum

      That was interesting. But Biden has been far less of an a-hole here than his one on one with Paul Ryan.

      1. Spudalicious

        The only thing Biden needs to accomplish tonight is not come off as a doddering fool. A tall order but a low bar.

  42. Count Potato

    WTF is this shit about universally pre-K? They’re four.

    1. Fourscore

      Steal their childhood! Can’t get that flag salutin’ started too early! Is there a pre-pre kindergarten for 3 year olds?

    2. Gustave Lytton

      They won’t be happy until they have Huxley style crèches. Gotta start the indoctrination early.

  43. This is my first real glimpse of Biden post face lift. He does look younger, but too fake.

    1. Rhywun

      post face lift

      It is mesmerizing, isn’t it?

      1. Bobarian LMD

        Post most recent facelift.

        I can see his navel… on his neck.

        1. One more facelift and he’ll be sporting a raggedy grey Van Dyke.

    1. Tonio

      Inorite?

  44. Tonio

    Spittle-flecked rants from Gillibrand and Sanders. Ohhh, Harris tries to claim the mantle of adult in the room. Let’s talk about your record of prosecutions, Kamala.

  45. Old Man With Candy

    I love when Kamal tries to talk black.

    1. Fourscore

      “Phone call for Kamal, a Miss Hillary Clinton on the line with some hints on speaking ghetto”

      1. Raphael

        “You also have AOC on hold”

    2. Spudalicious

      Just think of, “Oh, Willie. Willie” with that voice.

    3. Ayn Random Variation

      I ain’t no ways tired

  46. Rhywun

    I don’t need you to put food on my table, hon.

    1. Count Potato

      You know, once you go black…

  47. Tonio

    Gillibrand wants to lead us down a shining path…

  48. Rebel Scum

    “Let them compete if they may”

    I am sure we will all be shocked to discover that it is difficult to compete with an entity that has endless funding. What a cunt.

  49. Tonio

    The same freedom…under socialized medicine. Nice try, Pete.

  50. Old Man With Candy

    Is that Buttgig or Nixon?

    1. l0b0t

      For realz! Sweaty and a splotchy 5-o’clock shadow? What a catch.

      1. Rhywun

        I don’t trust a man without a 5-o’clock shadow, TBH.

        1. CPRM

          My beard haz sad.

          1. Nephilium

            It’s OK CPRM, for me it’s really a five day shadow on my cheeks. But the beard on the chin grows in quite well.

    2. Tonio

      He does have that small, shifty-eyed look about him. Needs moar jowls.

      1. Florida Man

        Is he riddled with phlebitis?

    3. mikey

      Tryin not to look 14 as usual?

    4. Don Escaped Texas

      he needs it: keeps him from looking like Jerry Mathers

      tie is a B+

      suit is a bit loud but makes his eyes pop . . . . it’s a good plan overall

  51. Tonio

    Every other civilized country.

    1. Florida Man

      So does that mean the non-civilized countries are shitholes? Careful how you answer, Dems.

  52. Rebel Scum

    Argumentum ad populum, TheBern. Do you understand the fallacy?

    1. Raphael

      We are assuming he even understands what a fallacy is.

      1. Bobarian LMD

        Isn’t that his whole raison d’être?

        1. Don Escaped Texas

          been away a while, Bob?

          1. Bobarian LMD

            Yep, I can see comments at work, but can’t log in anymore.

            I pop in some evenings.

          2. That’s my MO. It’s why I know everyone here better than they know me.

  53. Tonio

    You have a human right to my money.

    1. CPRM

      I’ll take it!

  54. Count Potato

    Who is this broad?

  55. l0b0t

    Who is Marrianne Williamson?

    1. Tonio

      New age flake.

    2. Rhywun

      I dunno but she’s a loon. Please let her talk some more.

    3. Don Escaped Texas
  56. Rebel Scum

    Things are not rights if they require, through violence or the threat thereof, something of someone else.

    1. Or, my favorite formulation, rights do not create obligations.

      1. Tejicano

        Sounds legit. Noted.

  57. Tonio

    Flakey hippie chick is flakey, hippie…

  58. Spudalicious

    Marianne Williamson just grabbed the whack job lane. Not an easy thing to do.

    1. Tonio

      I want to see her face off against Gillibrand.

    2. When she first came on screen I though “She doesn’t look to bad for her age” . . . then she opened her mouth.

  59. l0b0t

    OMG, is she a green carckpot?

  60. Old Man With Candy

    Chemical policy? Whaaaaaa?

  61. Count Potato

    That’s change. Instead of talking out of your ass. Talk about something in your ass.

  62. Let’s play a game: 2020 Democratic candidate or 20th century totalitarian dictator!

    “State intervention in economic production arises only when private initiative is lacking or insufficient, or when the political interests of the State are involved. This intervention may take the form of control, assistance or direct management.”

    1. In all seriousness, though, I just read the Accountable Capitalism Act proposal on Warren’s website, and it’s…uh…it’s pretty much Nazi Germany. I mean, for real, in order for a corporation of a certain size to exist it has to be authorized by the government and that authorization can be withdrawn if they do things the government deems naughty? Am I wrong or is that not very similar to how private companies, especially privatized industries, were treated by the Nazi government?

      1. Rebel Scum

        It is literal fascism. And it is very concerning.

      2. Fourscore

        Well, see, Warren was the Consumer Protection Agency’s Godmother so she knows how corporations hate consumers and are only there to rip off the little guy.

        Like Amazon, with all the prime and fast shipping and easy returns and stuff like that. Bezos only does that so he can be a billionaire

  63. Rebel Scum

    Oh shit. I thought I was just listening to a sassy black woman while commenting via my phone only to look up and see a gilfy white woman. Who the hell is she?

    1. Count Potato

      No idea.

  64. l0b0t

    Gillibrand looks like Veronica Mars in that episode where the heel slipped her the roofie… but very, very old.

    1. Gustave Lytton

      Dammit, I can see that.

  65. Sir Digby (PBUH)

    Raalama-ding-dong doesn’t know a damn thing about 911 medical calls. Weird, for a former DA.

    1. Tonio

      Not weird, she’s a lying SOS.

      1. Sir Digby (PBUH)

        Hm…checks out.

  66. Tonio

    RC is right. We’re done. Last one turn out the lights.

    1. Fourscore

      Its laughable but also downright scary. Somewhere, in the backs of the minds of this group of Kreuger-Dunning candidates lurks the personal belief that somehow they would be able to solve the problems of 330 million people if they were in the right position. That’s absolutely terrifying, people who have never had a productive job know what’s best for you and you and you and me.

      Its enough to make an old man cry…

  67. Rebel Scum

    My question: “Can you justify the Constitutionality of your proposed government program?”

    1. CPRM

      STFU White Supremacist!!!

    2. Tonio

      ^Look at this guy with his hundred-year-old document written by slave owners.

    3. Dude, they all know the FYTW clause, they’ve been practicing it for years.

    4. Raphael

      Muh General Welfare

  68. Rhywun

    Biden’s face lift didn’t reach his eyes. I can’t take my eyes off it.

    1. Your taste in men seems questionable.

    2. Spudalicious

      But how does his hair smell?

    3. He looks like one of CPRM’s cartoon figures when he talks.

  69. Aus

    This sucks!

    Bring Tulsi back!

    1. Rebel Scum

      Alone…in a bikini…with a pole…a smoke machine…strobelights…and music….

      1. Tonio

        You are a terrible, terrible human being. I like that.

      2. Gustave Lytton

        I’ll buy that for a dollarvote for that!

      3. Raphael

        *wipes forehead*

    2. Count Potato

      Poppy 2020?

      1. Raphael

        ¡YO SOY POPPY!

  70. Gustave Lytton

    Reposting from the end of the last thread by mrfamous (Fuck off tulpa!)

    https://original.antiwar.com/antiwar_staff/2019/06/27/justin-raimondo-rip-1951-2019/

    1. Raven Nation

      Well, shit.

    2. Don Escaped Texas

      Ultimately, in 1962, Soblen committed suicide

      well, yeah, not much happens in a life after that

  71. Tonio

    Oh, Kamala trying to fake concern is precious.

  72. Subwoofer

    They just asked the candidates if their health plans would cover illegals and they all raised their hands ‘yes’.

    They all owe Joe Wilson an apology for excoriating him after he called Obama a liar when Obama said illegals would never be covered.

    Also – they want to give anyone in the country illegally free healthcare? Why wouldn’t ANYONE IN THE WORLD with an expensive horrid illness then illegally enter the US to get free world class treatment?

    1. CPRM

      Because by then it isn’t world class anymore?

  73. Count Potato

    EXECUTIVE ACTION!

  74. Old Man With Candy

    SP has a creative vocabulary for a girl her age.

    1. Count Potato

      Even compared to SugarFree?

      1. Spudalicious

        Where do you think he gets it? Do you think he’s that erudite on his own?

        1. Count Potato

          He is a librarian.

          1. Spudalicious

            Ahh. Plenty of reference books on hand.

  75. grrizzly

    Brazil cannot score against Paraguay. It’s boring here, too.

    1. Rhywun

      MUH NEYMAR

  76. Tonio

    Obligatory pronunciation. Achievement unlocked, Kamala.

  77. l0b0t

    Less Dickenpooper, MOAR Williamson!

  78. Tonio

    But having federal agents shoot women and children is okay, eh Hickenlooper?

  79. My day one at the white house:

    1. Swear in
    2. drink at the party
    3. Tell everyone what I really think
    4. Disband all unconstitutional agencies while drunk
    5. receive impeachment notice.

    1. Raphael

      Same, but hey it would be one helluva fun and short ride. Remember to show up to any hearings absolutely plastered.

    2. Rebel Scum

      I’d rather be drunk at the debate, and likely winning the debate.

    3. Nephilium

      I’d probably swap 2 until after 4, move 3 up, and fight 5. Firing entire departments would make me happy.

  80. Count Potato

    OFFS!!

  81. Bernie waving for attention was funny.

  82. Count Potato

    Let’s ignore Obama did the same exact thing.

  83. Tonio

    Gillibrand is the only one on stage wearing a skirt tonight. Harris and Williamson are wearing pants.

    1. Where’s Don for the suit report?

      1. Don Escaped Texas

        sorry, late, special night at the pizzeria: braised white fish, pineapple salsa, risotto

      2. Don Escaped Texas

        Bennet’s tie is sad and his jacket is a size too large, doesn’t drape right or ride his collar.

        Is parting on the right back in?

    2. CPRM

      So you’re saying she’s asking for it? *gets internet killed over a temperate rape joke*

      1. Sir Digby (PBUH)

        “Temperate rape joke”

        Band name?

  84. l0b0t

    STEVE SMITH want everyone to open heart to strangers! By open heart mean…

  85. Butt Guy: “We stand for all religions” . . . well you know except those icky Christians.

  86. Rebel Scum

    “separation of families”

    A man arrested for murdering his wife doesn’t take his children to jail with him. These assholes are so disgustingly dishonest.

    1. Don Escaped Texas

      right

  87. Tonio

    Um, are immigration law judges not appointed Article I judges, SENATOR? Just like Social Security “administrative law judges,” federal bankruptcy “judges,” and federal magistrate judges?

    1. CPRM

      *had a joke, but lost it to the ether*

      1. Tonio

        There is nothing more helpless and depraved than a man in the depths of an ether binge.

        1. CPRM

          +1 night at Circus Circus

  88. Spudalicious

    40 minutes in, a hard left turn became someone grabbing the wheel because it’s not happening fast enough.

  89. Don Escaped Texas

    Biden almost got the tie right . . . so close on that dimple.

  90. Rebel Scum

    And Biden loses it….I mean that was literally senile incoherence…

    1. Don Escaped Texas

      the fact is: look!

    2. Tonio

      Needz moar sniffing and groping.

  91. Tonio

    Catch and release. Sure, those people will absolutely not disappear.

  92. Rhywun

    Sorry, Bern, I don’t give a shit about Honduras gangs. Except that they stay in Honduras.

    1. Tonio

      ^This. Not our problem.

    2. Count Potato

      It was Hillary who wrecked Honduras.

  93. Rebel Scum

    I bet he wouldn’t threaten to nuke American citizens, Swallowswell.

  94. commodious spittoon

    So these idiots court illegal immigration for the past couple years, because now with Chocolate Jesus out of office, it’s no longer as much a liability

    Immigrants begin streaming over the border illegally

    OMFG there’s a crisis of illegal border crossings, and it’s Trump’s fault!

  95. Sir Digby (PBUH)

    Kiss his ass, Kam-loops. Juuuust before you shit on him. Hell, he even likes it.

  96. Old Man With Candy

    SF: Kamala’s fake eyelashes are tranny hooker big.

    1. Sir Digby (PBUH)

      Sorta like Randy Quaid as a stripper in “Kingpin”.

      1. Bobarian LMD

        Sorta?

  97. Rebel Scum

    Now it’s a roundtable on who doesn’t want to do the actual job of president.

    Why the fuck can’t I get a Calvin Coolidge to vote for?

    And is Kamala serious?! Anyone can “flag down a cop” and report a crime as we speak. Wtf are these people talking about???

    And this asshole with an illconceived Nazi reference….

    Ok I need a break. My blood pressure is reaching critical.

    1. Spudalicious

      I made sure to have a good loading dose on board. I’m now in buzz maintenance mode with quality whiskey.

  98. Democrats: “Why bother reworking the immigration policy to what we believe is best. Nope, Day 1, we’re going to executive order our way to quit enforcing duly enacted laws. Screw the people and the representatives that have the proper authority. Executive for the win!!!”

  99. Spudalicious

    “Look at my righteous indignation!!! LOOK AT IT!!!”

    1. l0b0t

      He never once showed his upper teeth; it was rather off putting.

    2. Nephilium

      Why are you subjecting yourself to this pain?

      1. Spudalicious

        It’s all about perspective. You start from the position that they’re all lying sacks of shit that don’t believe a word they’re saying, and then you watch the dance. With plenty of booze, of course.

        1. Rhywun

          Yep, this is just entertainment.

          1. Bobarian LMD

            Bread and Circuses.

            Bring in the Christians!

        2. Nephilium

          I’m traveling for work. I don’t have access to my home bar, and my beer supply is almost out. I may have to swing down to the hotel bar, but I fear they will have either the debates or CNN on the television.

          1. Spudalicious

            Take it back to the room.

          2. Nephilium

            That would be the plan, especially since the hotel TV allows me to use Google Casting to throw anything I’ve got a subscription to up to the television instead of watching what’s being broadcast.

          3. Nephilium

            So, the unknown Glenlivet was a double oak expression. That and a craft beer set me back ~$20. However, the guy poured heavy for the scotch, especially after I asked for it neat. If I had to guess, ~4-5 oz.

  100. Old Man With Candy

    Andrew Yang’s hair: Shemp Howard.

    1. Tonio

      His open collar – not working. Neither defined pecs nor chest hair.

      1. Rhywun

        chest hair

        LOL I was looking for some. Surprise!

      2. Spudalicious

        Andrew is sporting the, “I don’t care, I’m rich, biatch” look.

  101. Rhywun

    Butterjudge at least doesn’t seem to be falling in line with the MUH RUSSIANS trope.

    1. l0b0t

      It isn’t the 5-o’clock shadow per se, it’s the splotchyness that I find really gross.

      1. Rhywun

        Meh – doesn’t bother me. Not everyone is that gifted.

  102. Ownbestenemy

    Pjmedia’s debate drunkblogging is quite good.

  103. Subwoofer

    Love how Buttchug said tariffs are taxes and we don’t need more taxes that the middle class will pay.

    Trump is a grandmaster for getting a Dem to argue against taxes.

  104. Tonio

    Okay, kids. Round Two.

    1. Rhywun

      Oh fuck. These two again. And… immediately with the RAYCISM!!

  105. Rebel Scum

    Now do the NBA, Rachel…

  106. Butt gigger said people only knew factories and soy bean fields where he’s from: Top employers in South Bend , no factories or farms until number 8.

    1. I’m really tired of him doing the “I’m from the midwest, but we’re so backwards because . . . ” He hates the town and people of where he’s mayor

  107. Don Escaped Texas

    Buttigieg: little government doesn’t work

    so how about big government ?

    1. Don Escaped Texas

      "Because I couldn't get it done," is a better politician answer than most.— Matt Welch (@MattWelch) June 28, 2019

  108. l0b0t

    Wifey is watching the new season of Are You The One; it’s super woke, full of trannys and bisexuals, and I think it’s making me sympathetic to the TERF POV.

    1. I watch TV, so I know that 9 out of 5 people are trans and 22 of 2 are gay.

      1. CPRM

        Yeah, it gone beyond my old fashioned sensibilities of no sex outside marriage to EVERYONE IS HAVING SEX WITH EVERYONE ALL THE TIME, unless they are a bigot!

  109. Rhywun

    Everybody knows black cops don’t shoot black people I mean duh.

    1. Old Man With Candy

      Or white Australians.

  110. Tonio

    Welp, there it is.

  111. Spudalicious

    Whackadoodle just saved Booty-gag from a Swallowswell shiv.

  112. Don Escaped Texas

    Harris looks balanced what I’ve seen

    but she brings nothing to the ticket

    1. Tonio

      Oh, she brings a lot to the ticket. Positive – black, woman. Negative – her own record.

  113. Old Man With Candy

    Kamala is hurt. HURT.

  114. Tonio

    Okay, Kamala. Now do the legacy of Sen. Byrd and why you never called out Hillary about her apprenticing herself to him.

    Ohhhh…police and prosecutorial transparency. BS, Kamala, BS…

    1. Rebel Scum

      I always wanted to mention to Hilldawg that Senator Byrd would like a word.

      1. Nephilium

        But she’s in no way tired!

  115. creech

    OT: anyone else want to see the French soccer gals destroy the U.S. team tomorrow? I guess I won’t care as long as the winners whip off their shirts and show us something.

    1. Alex Morgan can feel free to whip off her top and bottom.

      1. Florida Man

        I got to high five her once.

          1. Florida Man

            I wish. I got to be part of the hype crew as they came out the tunnel.

    2. Rhywun

      I think our gals can find a way.

    3. Rebel Scum

      Are they playing on a muddy field?

    4. Raven Nation

      Related: Brazil/Paraguay going to pens.

    1. Florida Man

      Is the LGBT pic a selfie?

      1. Nephilium

        There was a time I was wearing this shirt all day at an event. It wasn’t until the end of the day one of my friends noticed what it said (after someone requested a picture of it), she smacked me once and laughed at it.

        1. Florida Man

          You can’t be proud. That’s for other people!

          1. Nephilium

            The same site used to have a shirt with a giant rainbow on it, with small print saying, “I’m not gay, I just love rainbows!”

            And there’s a reason I’m still good friends with the one who smacked me. I mean she did try to auction me off in a bar earlier the same day.

      2. I wish I had cool ink like that, but alas, no.

    2. Rebel Scum

      I like both but the second is a winner.

    3. Chafed

      Truth in advertising.

  116. Rhywun

    What the hell is Biden talking about?

    1. Count Potato

      You expect one of us to know?

      1. Bobarian LMD

        Or Biden?

        It’s all stream of unconsciousness.

  117. Rebel Scum

    OMG, she’s making a mountain out of the molehill that I am on Bidens side of. He simply mentioned working with people who were generally ideologically opposed in areas that common ground could be had. And now I have to take a cold shower for defending Biden.

  118. Tonio

    Angry, ranty. Totes presidential.

    1. Rhywun

      “LGB… D… blue, sunset, what? Where am I?”

  119. Old Man With Candy

    OK, Bernie’s disturbingly neat hair is coming undone.

    1. One hair separates from the others every time he bashes the 1%

  120. Gillenbrand: Money in politics is bad. Now please go donate to my campaign

    1. Chafed

      Bingo!

  121. Tonio

    Who the fuck is Michael Bennett?

    1. A guy padding his and his families wallets by gathering campaign funds?

    2. Dipshit CO senator.

      Won back in 2010 by a cunt-hair because the guy he was running against was a Roy Moore wannabe.

      1. commodious spittoon

        I read that as dipshit CO detector.

  122. Spudalicious

    The only way I can see OrangeManBad losing this thing is if he suddenly starts channeling Hillary. What a shit show.

    And Biden held it together for the first 40 minutes. He’s now reminding everyone that he’s a dinosaur. An angry dinosaur.

    1. The looks on his face are priceless.

      1. Don Escaped Texas

        he started to twitch while Harris recounted her bus rides

    2. Rebel Scum

      Quickly moving to T-rex in Jurassic Park 2 territory.

  123. Tonio

    Why yes, Joe, you’re the consummate DC insider.

  124. Rhywun

    Oh lord, Joe, don’t bend your head down again. Your liver-spotted pate is showing through the combover.

    1. Tonio

      [golf clap]

  125. Count Potato

    The Koch brothers?

    1. Chafed

      I guess they are still the left’s boogeyman.

    2. Aren’t that big of political donors. Koch Ind is number 32 and I don’t see them on the individual list

  126. Old Man With Candy

    SF and OMWC: Vox is what happens when someone saw Salon and said, “Hold mah Chardonnay.”

  127. Tonio

    “The Koch brothers…”

    1. DOOMco

      Donated to npr again?

  128. Rhywun

    “Several states passed free abortion at any time laws.”

    Oh, wait. She left that out.

    1. Chafed

      That doesn’t support the narrative.

  129. Tonio

    Um, no SENATOR, you do not have the authority to “rotate” SCOTUS justices to “other courts.” LOL, senile old man, LOL.

  130. Rebel Scum

    “my plan is to nominate activist judges and/or arrest disobedient judges”

    Do you know who else?

    1. Bobarian LMD

      Franklin Delano Hitler?

      1. Rebel Scum

        People always forget Lincoln.

  131. Tonio

    FREE SHIT

  132. Rebel Scum

    Zomg the current year! – Senator Sorority girl

  133. Chafed

    I only turned the shit show on 10 minutes ago. Have they been bragging about raising taxes or their dream of raising taxes all night?

    1. Tonio

      Yes.

      1. Chafed

        Wow.

    2. Rhywun

      Yes, that was the first topic.

      1. Chafed

        Double wow! That will bite them in the ass during the general election.

    3. Subwoofer

      Yes, except tariffs. Those are taxes, but bad taxes

      1. Chafed

        Jeebus.

  134. Old Man With Candy

    SP and SF: “I look at these people and wonder, how the fuck did they ever get elected to ANYTHING?”

    1. Chafed

      Serious answer: go to their states. Harris, sadly, is one of my Senators. She is a true reflection of the voters.

      1. Chafed

        Also, GAAAH, they are both right.

  135. Count Potato

    Climate change?

    OK, I’ve had enough of this.

    Good night, and be excellent to one another!

    1. Old Man With Candy

      SF: Potato is WEAK! He disgusts me.

    2. Nephilium

      Why? Why watch it?

  136. Old Man With Candy

    Putin causes climate change?

  137. Rebel Scum

    As someone who does storm water management for a living, I can tell you that buttgags implication with intensity of rainfall is total BS.

    1. Rebel Scum

      Saying 500yr storm doesn’t mean a heavy storm every 500 years, it is a reference to the rate of rainfall measured in inches/hour that is subject to happen far more often than every 50 years.

      1. Rebel Scum

        More than every 500 years…*

    2. Chafed

      A politician was wrong. Hold me.

  138. I must be watching the wrong country’s debate. I haven’t heard the words constitution, liberty, or freedom yet.

    1. Rebel Scum

      Word.

    2. commodious spittoon

      RC is an optimist.

  139. Tonio

    “Our administration…”

    No, Joe, that was Obama’s administration. You were just a hanger-on, and not a welcome one.

  140. Don Escaped Texas

    can you do it without Congress ?

    bad idea, Blue or Red

  141. Chafed

    12 years to irreparable destruction! AOC was right!

    1. Subwoofer

      They want to have that cake and eat it too

      1. Chafed

        Absofuckinglutely.

  142. Bernie’s getting worked up and his face is red . . .is a stroke coming?

    1. Bobarian LMD

      One can hope…

  143. Old Man With Candy

    Bernie is gonna start yelling, “MISTAH KOTTAH!”

    1. Chafed

      That would be awesome.

  144. Don Escaped Texas

    Williamson: you’re no Jack Kennedy

    1. Bobarian LMD

      I knew Loyd Bentson, and you Sir, are no Loyd Bentson!

  145. Rhywun

    Oh great, the crazy chick’s weighing in on “climate change”.

    1. Chafed

      I appreciate the honesty. She is crazy. The plan is crazy. It’s all crazy. I know exactly what I’m getting.

  146. And there it is . . the obligatory JFK reference. This is the longest a debate has ever gone without bringing him up

  147. Spudalicious

    And just in time, they saved the best for last. That last10 minutes was fine theater.

  148. Tonio

    “Old Ideas” You know who else said “old ideas?”

    And Kennedy got a lot of pushback about the Apollo program from people like you.

  149. DOOMco

    How is Trump the sane one

    1. Because best timeline.

    2. Chafed

      Apparently it’s all relative.

  150. Fortunately for you, these ladies get turned on by low-IQ, disingenuous, insane pols.

    https://thechive.com/2019/06/27/girls-putting-the-undress-in-sundress-37-photos/

    And for those that prefer brats to tacos.

    https://archive.li/HzUxe/7348cc02f674a25046e6f710a1edaae9c13984cc.jpg

    1. Q . . . I’m not sure this is the proper time for these. Here I am looking at the ladies in sundresses. I’m starting to get a semi . . and then Bernie comes bacl on screen. I get blue balls and want to vomit.

      1. Don Escaped Texas

        could be developed into cure for pedophilia ?

        1. Spudalicious

          Deep Fake pedo porn with Bernie’s face? That should cure most of them.

        2. Bobarian LMD

          Or a cause?

        3. OMWC . . .care to weigh in?

          1. Old Man With Candy

            Noooooooo.

      2. JaimeRoberto: Gentleman, Scholar, French Tickler

        This sounds like an interesting psychological experiment.

  151. Rebel Scum

    New Zealand? Where you can be imprisoned for speech and/or simply viewing something online?

    1. Chafed

      Utopia!

  152. Tonio

    Gun Violence
    Climate Change
    Family Bill of Rights
    Yeah, all That
    Revolution
    Defeat Trump
    [something I missed]
    Thousand-Dollar Freedom Dividend
    Best Place in the World for a Child to Grow Up

    1. Rhywun

      Trump’s like “I don’t even need to live-tweet these losers. I got this in the bag!”

    2. Repeal the BoR?

      1. DOOMco

        Abort it*

  153. l0b0t

    The question was – “As President, what would be your first priority?” Biden answered “Beating Donald Trump.” Wait… what?!?

    1. Spudalicious

      The first part of his response was also priceless.

      “What would be your first priority?”

      “You people don’t appreciate how much Barack Obama accomplished.”

      1. Bobarian LMD

        I know I don’t appreciate it.

    2. DOOMco

      *choose your weapon*

    3. straffinrun

      He meant beat as in with a club. You can never be too safe.

  154. Old Man With Candy

    SF is convinced that Williamson is on Xanax and lattes.

    SP actually knew her. “She’s always been that way.”

    1. Rhywun

      What was that weird accent she was doing? Hippie?

      1. Old Man With Candy

        Xanax.

  155. Old Man With Candy

    In the middle of Williamson’s verbal meander, SF turned to me, stared, and said, “This IS happening?”

  156. Tonio

    “Lester Holt…the most trusted news anchor in America.”

    That’s one of those tallest midget things, right?

    1. commodious spittoon

      That’s super offensive. You’re supposed to say tallest little person things.

    2. Slightly on topic: I was a t a bachelor party and Bridget the Midget was performing at the gentlman’s club we went to.

      1. Nephilium

        The girlfriend was very happy that she was measured at 4′ 11″ when she went to the doctor’s office today. And she’s older then me, the shrinking should start up soon.

        1. It must be HUGE from her perspective.

  157. Don Escaped Texas

    Swalwell’s tie sporting a Sgt Carter knot

  158. Chafed

    Gun reform? Uh Rachel, you are talking about seizing guns.

    1. Rhywun

      I love how the hosts are basically driving Democrat policy.

      1. Chafed

        So much this.

      2. Rebel Scum

        I find it enlightening and disturbing.

      3. DOOMco

        Yeah I noticed that last night.
        It’s beyond the pale.
        It’s not surprising, but it’s a little weird it’s this obvious

  159. Tonio

    Okay, Swalwell, now do gay rights vs mob rule.

  160. I show love for the children BY owning guns.

    1. Don Escaped Texas

      she gwine executive order your ass !

  161. Don Escaped Texas

    quote = mis-characterization ?

  162. Via instapundit:

    “Here’s the lineup if you’re just tuning in:

    Sen. Bernie Sanders of Vermont (Democratic Socialist)

    Sen. Kamala Harris of California (People’s Democratic Socialist)

    Mayor Pete Buttigieg of South Bend, Indiana (Socialist Democratic People’s Party)

    Sen. Michael Bennet of Colorado (Progressive Socialist-Democrat)

    Author Marianne Williamson (Progressive Democrat-Socialist)

    Sen. Kirsten Gillibrand of New York (Democratic Progressive-Socialist)

    Rep. Eric Swalwell of California (Bolshevik)

    Former Vice President Joe Biden (Menshevik)

    Entrepreneur Andrew Yang (Filthy Running Dog Capitalist Pig, But Possibly LGBTQ-Friendly)

    Gov. John Hickenlooper of Colorado. (Democrat, Not Socialist, He Swears)”

    Ha.

    1. Urthona

      Noice

  163. Tonio

    I’ll give the Congress one hundred days, and then I will act…

  164. Ayn Random Variation

    Harris: As a prosecutor, I say fuck the Constitution. I’m taking your guns

    1. Butterjudge: I’ll take your guns better!
      Biden: I’ll take your guns bestest!

      1. Gustave Lytton

        I’m disappointed in VP Warning Shot.

  165. Tonio

    “Number of clips in a gun.”

    1. It irritates the shit out of me when people who want to ban guns don’t even know basic things about them.

      1. Don Escaped Texas

        you just don’t want the number of clips limited

        1. Rebel Scum

          Of course not. I want all clips of leftist, anti-constitutionalism on full display.

          1. DOOMco

            [YouTube would like to know your location]

      2. Rebel Scum

        And it isn’t even a difficult technology to understand. But neither are the words “right of the people shall not be infringed.”…

      3. DOOMco

        And then they act like you’re the ass for pointing it out.

        “Oh well i guess if I don’t know every little detail!”
        Maybe the magazine/clip thing. Get that down, and I might let some model number stuff slide.

        1. Don Escaped Texas

          AK16 ?

          1. DOOMco

            Hm. You’re right, that’s just as bad.

      4. Akira

        It irritates the shit out of me when people who want to ban guns don’t even know basic things about them.

        This is precisely what drives me apeshit about the recent Democrat Party marketing and advertising insisting that they are loyal to facts, truth, and evidence. They talk the big talk about those three things, but they kick that shit to the curb when it comes to guns.

        Where’s the valiant army of fact-checkers when Democrats insist that heat-seeking bullets are real and everyone is walking around with fully-automatic weapons?

  166. Ayn Random Variation

    Poopy head doesn’t believe in rule of law ! I will bypass Congress and the Constitution and make my own laws!

    1. Chafed

      It, partly, worked for the last few presidents.

  167. Chafed

    I love Marian Williamson. She is the comic relief we need.

    1. Rhywun

      She’s the sanest one up there.

      1. Chafed

        Ha!

    2. l0b0t

      I would choose her over everyone else on the stage tonight.

    3. Bobarian LMD

      Her and the Professor were the backbone of the show.

      1. I used to think Trump was Gilligan, but in the current political climate, he’s more likely the professor.

  168. Do you think Bernie took uppers tonight? He’s been fairly animated when they get to him.

    1. DOOMco

      He can taste the power

      1. DOOMco

        I assume he eventually throws Booker out of trump tower thinking he’s mace windu

        1. Rebel Scum

          I laughed a bit too much at that. Got a look from the gf…

          1. DOOMco

            I’m glad someone got a kick out of a prequel joke.

    2. Chafed

      Electric cattle prod in his undies.

      1. Rhywun

        A van de Graaff generator down there might explain his usual hair style.

  169. commodious spittoon

    Did I just hear the words “income violence” and “climate chaos”? Who is this man, who is so wise in the ways of dipshit Dem primary voters?

    1. Bobarian LMD

      Those are as good as “reproductive justice”.

  170. Don Escaped Texas

    Williamson is big into ren faires ?

  171. Gustave Lytton

    Donald is having sushi, well done. No wonder he isn’t playing with the laser pointer tonight.

    1. Rhywun

      He’s kicking back with a Coke and smiling.

      1. Gustave Lytton

        Apparently he kept Angela waiting while he watched it.

  172. Tonio

    G*d Damn Hippies.

  173. Old Man With Candy

    I think Williamson’s accent is Transylvanian. I need Pie to make a judgement.

  174. Don Escaped Texas

    Joe has had a bad second hour.I hate to say it, but he has seemed older and older as the debate has gone on.— Jon Ralston (@RalstonReports) June 28, 2019

  175. Tonio

    “Women in America are on fire.”

    1. commodious spittoon

      They got voted into office, Tonio. VOTED. INTO. OFFICE.

      Oh, and RVW being a buzzword all these years later.

      JFC WE GET IT, YOU LIKE TO ABORT BABIES, YOU FUCKING PSYCHOPATHS.

    2. straffinrun

      Bunch of sluts.

  176. Tonio

    “Libertarians”

  177. I sleep through the night just fine no matter what’s going on in my life or politics. Apparently Kamala needs some sleeping pills.

    1. Chafed

      Is that what she calls Willie Brown.

  178. Chafed

    I just noticed how consistently nasal Harris sounds. That’s going to wear in me.

    1. straffinrun

      Criminal justice reform for Kamala. “I will fight to get all those people I locked up for victimless crimes released.”

      1. Chafed

        Lol. I think you’re right.

  179. Who won?

    No One.

    1. Rhywun

      Donald J. Trump.

      1. Bobarian LMD

        Yep, same guy as last night.

  180. Tonio

    Good night, peeps.

    1. DOOMco

      *Lifts drink*

  181. l0b0t

    Off to work. Pining for a return of James I. I love you all.

  182. DOOMco

    So we have a lot of tax increases, some gun grabbing, and a massive increase in the state health care.

    This is probably the worst angle to run.

    1. Don’t forget the welfare the the new wave of illegal immigrants that can’t be deported no matter how violent.

      1. DOOMco

        And trans women’s abortions on demand.

        This will surely play well in the rust belt.

        1. commodious spittoon

          The world is dumb and full of morons.

        2. Nephilium

          The rust belt is totally woke man. There’s no heavy Catholic influence or anything here. There’s other reasons we all feel guilty.

    2. straffinrun

      Tax increases? I thought all the shit was free.

      1. DOOMco

        Oh my mistake

        1. straffinrun

          TBF, even if the shit really was free, they’d raise taxes on principle alone.

    3. Urthona

      How is this party beating republicans by 10% I’m the polls’?

      1. DOOMco

        They ask 2000 people in nyc or la?

        1. Urthona

          I don’t think there’s ever been one off by 10%, but now I’m praying.

      2. Rhywun

        Go back 2 posts and read RC Dean’s explanation.

    4. Ownbestenemy

      Dont forget pandering to spanish speaking persons while claiming they are not pandering to spanish speaking populace

  183. Sir Digby (PBUH)

    Alright, you magnificent bastards: off to dreamtime. I’ll be starting the follow-up very soon. Y’all show CPRM some merch love.

    1. Gustave Lytton

      Goodnight and good work popping your cherry!

  184. Gustave Lytton

    Alcohol withdrawal or malaria?

    https://youtu.be/OkYsWERcJzE

  185. Urthona

    Bernie Sanders stands out less now that every Democrat has adopted his platform.

    1. Gustave Lytton

      That’s only because TV Smell-o-Vision never took off.

    1. Rhywun

      So I’m assuming no more wealthy salt-n-pepper gentlemen driving around sport cars commercials too?

      1. Chafed

        No, they only direct their anger at straights.

        1. Rhywun

          That wasn’t a description of my type; it’s a description of every commercial I see that is obviously targeted at heterosexual women.

          1. Chafed

            I didn’t think so. I was just having some fun with you. Someone needs to teach me how to add tone to my writing.

  186. “Tulsi Gabbard Apologist”

    Justin Raimondo, co-founder of antiwar.com, and long-time libertarian activist passed away today I just saw. If any of you read Brian Doherty’s “Radicals for Capitalism” where he is mentioned several times or if you’ve ever read “Enemy of the State” which he wrote as a biography of Murray Rothbard you would know what an influential voice for peace and liberty he was. RIP

    1. Chafed

      Was he ENB’s husband?

      1. Chafed

        Ok. Just looked it up. I was way off.

    2. one true athena

      Bummer. He was so hopeful for awhile that he was gonna get through it, too. RIP.

    3. Soyboy

      I remember lots of mockery of Raimondo ’round these parts and TOS..

    4. KSuellington

      Thanks for that. I had heard his name over the years and probably read a few articles by him, but I didn’t follow him. Sounds like he was a strong liberty advocate.

  187. Chafed

    OT: I enjoyed your article Sir Digby. I’m guessing in most places people will be too polite to say something if they are offended. You may have to go your local prog town if you want that. Or, as suggested above, go to a bar if you want a conversation.

    1. KSuellington

      We are truly leading the nation here in California as we are already on that. Why should people have to pay for healthcare. It’s a right after all.

    1. JaimeRoberto: Gentleman, Scholar, French Tickler

      It’s possible that Winston’s mom and Paul Krugman’s wife are the same person.

  188. straffinrun

    Anybody up? Do I wanna see the new Godzilla tonight? Anyone see it?

    1. Soyboy

      There’s a new Godzilla, too?

      End Hollywood Now.

    2. KSuellington

      I’m up, but I’m not one to ask about that. I very much enjoyed the old Godzilla when I was a kid. All of the new superhero/sci-fi stuff just tends to bore me. Too much action, too little substance. But mindless entertainment is fun, I take mine in other forms.

      1. straffinrun

        Checking out what the director says and it’s supposed to be woke on science and environmentalism. Ugh.

        1. straffinrun

          “he 2019 Godzilla outing sets up the titular monster as an ancient natural being, evolved a long time ago when the Earth was far more radioactive. The monster is presented as a guardian of nature seeking to bring balance to a world messed up by human activity”

          https://www.google.co.jp/amp/s/qrius.com/godzilla-king-of-the-monsters-godzilla-and-its-evolving-environmental-messages/amp/

          1. straffinrun

            Oh no. Wife bought the tickets before I could stop her. Looks like I’m going in. *sigh*

          2. Rhywun

            I’m sorry. I’m so, so sorry.

          3. KSuellington

            That sounds very terrible.

          4. KSuellington

            It does sound like advocacy for more radioactivity, which I am mostly against. Especially when it could create a Mothra problem.

          5. straffinrun

            You touch on something weird. Japanese are terrified of moths. Praying mantises? They pick them up bare handed. Freaks.

          6. KSuellington

            A moth I have touched, but I don’t ever want to pick up a praying mantis.

          7. straffinrun

            The women identify with them.

          8. What’s wrong with touching praying mantises? I do it all the time to move them so I don’t squash them when working in the berry patch.

        2. Heroic Mulatto

          If you were a real daikaiju fan, you’d know he fought Hedorah, The Smog Monster back in 1971.

          1. straffinrun

            I’m not. Just like seeing stuff smashed. Do know that gorilla and whale (gorira/kujira) mash up to give us gojira. There. My knowledge is exhausted.

  189. straffinrun

    Kind of disappoint no one has commented on the new avatar. Take a close look.

    1. KSuellington

      I praised it earlier. It’s a fine avatar.

    2. Rhywun

      It’s a little busy. Something VR? Otherwise, no idea what’s going on there.

      1. straffinrun

        A bigger pic. It’s Zuck.

        https://imgur.com/a/GUwchnP

        1. Rhywun

          Dammit I DID think Zuck. Imagining himself being a much more attractive man. Who likes to hit women.

          Still too busy.

          1. straffinrun

            Why I oughtta… But, you’re probably right. Took me a minute to get it when I first saw it.

  190. Sean

    My plan of getting drunk and missing the debates was executed perfectly. Thank you all for the recap & highlights.

  191. I used to have a red Ronald Reagan shirt made up to look like Che Guevara. Now that got some pissed off looks at a Tea Party get-together; until they got close enough to see it was the sainted RR.

    something like this