I enjoyed Paperbacks from Hell: The Twisted History of ‘70s and ‘80s Horror Fiction, Grady Hendrix’s romp through the post-Stephen King boom in horror publishing. I’m consumed quite a bit of horror from this era and I still found quite a few books–bizarre, deranged, amazing books– that I want to read.
For example, here is Hendrix describing Toy Cemetary, by William C. Johnstone:
Toy Cemetery (1987) achieves maximum Johnstone. Vietnam vet Jay Clute returns to Victory, Missouri, where he grew up, with nine-year-old daughter Kelly in tow. Within hours of his arrival, Jay discovers that the two major local landmarks are (1) an enormous doll factory in the center of town run by an obese pedophile named Bruno Dixon, who films satanic kiddie porn in it, and (2) a high-security hospital/mental institution/underground research facility that houses the “products of incest,” enormous man-monsters with apple-sized heads and superhuman strength. Tiny toys run amok, as does incest. Jay and his daughter almost hook up their first night, only to snap out of it when the crosses they’re wearing clink together.
Reading this book is like driving through a dust storm while in a post-concussion haze: the harder you try to focus, the more everything slips away into an insanity vortex. A supermarket check-out girl’s head explodes, but no one seems to mind. Possessed teenage boys follow Kelly through town, waggling their inappropriate boners until she fights them with karate and kills one with an ax. Everyone has a secret doll collection. A tiny French general leads a toy army.
Johnstone piles incident on incident, trope on trope, and if something isn’t working he keeps on piling. When time itself needs to be brought to a screeching halt, Jay Clute just pulls out his gun and shoots a clock. Because clocks make time, right? In William W. Johnstone’s world, why not?
Who could possibly resist?
OMWC
Partway through painful progress on Quantum Mechanics and Path Integrals by Richard Feynman and Albert Hibbs. At one time, this would have been light reading for me… in any case, this is a much deeper dive into the basic concepts outlined in Volume 3 of the Feynman Lectures at a math level that’s challenging but not impenetrable. Feynman basically disassembled the foundations of quantum theory and recast it in a novel approach to least-action and uses this method to attack the classical problems in quantum theory (e.g., harmonic oscillators, many-body, perturbation theory) in literally a more dynamic fashion than the basic Heisenberg/Schroedinger/Dirac approaches I was taught.
Yes, I’m a geek.
SP
I’ve been reading more escapist books. This month it’s been the Ruth Galloway series by Elly Griffiths. Ruth is a forensic archaeologist in Norfolk, England, who is sometimes brought in by the local police to lend her expertise when bones crop up in various places and situations. One of her best friends is a practicing Druid. Good, light reading.
Brett L
I haven’t read a damn thing worth a damn this month. Limitless Lands is probably the best of a bad bunch on Kindle Unlimited. I’m coming out of the closet, I’m kind of a Lit-RPG fan. Anyhow, I like the character and the writing of this one. A little military worshipful for me, and the character somehow joins a faction that is basically the Roman Empire if it had outlawed slavery and other brutal practices.
Jesse.in.mb
The Vine Witch by Luanne G. Smith. A light read, pretty perfect for a flight and killing time while I can’t sleep on CET. Some of the plots go unresolved, but nothing too egregious.
JW
I feel like I’ve graduated. This morning, I read the back of an oatmeal box. Did you know that Quakers had buckles on their shoes?
Secret Glib Cabin in the Woods is best cabin in the woods. Didn’t even get raped and killed in it.
Glib Community When Life Goes to Shit is best online community when life goes to shit. We’ve seen people deal with death, mental decline of loved ones, unexpected unemployment, and Leap having to deal with the recognition that his spawn is ‘special needs’. For my part, I wouldn’t trade you for all the used sex robots in Texas.
Animal is Best Column Writer in 2019. Lots of good ones, but these stuck out because his youth of “fucking around in the woods” and “wearing boots” reminded me of my youth, which involved a lot of “fucking around in the woods” and “wearing boots”. That zany one about poisoning soldiers is pretty good too.
Yoats is Best Word I Can’t Believe I Use With A Straight Face.
Tulsi Gabbard Apologist is Best Tulsi Gabbard Meme. Much better than “you just like her because she is pretty” meme.
Leon is Best Glib I Find Myself Agreeing A Lot. Sorry Pat. Try harder in 2020.
My Hero Academia / Boku no Hīrō Akademia is Best Anime to Watch with a 10 year old. Just beats out Yakitate!! Japan but lets be honest, it would be improved with more afro-related subplots.
The Number 6.
Home Made Fermented Hotsauce is Best Hotsauce. Even if this batch wasn’t hot. Thanks for the peppers 4score.
How the Fuck Did I Become a Teetotaler is Worst Revelation. How the fuck did that happen? I think I had three drinks this year.
Welcome to another edition of “Not Adahn Gets Drunk at the Keyboard.” This will be the first in a series of rye reviews, primarily because I like the spirit and my LLS has and entire wall dedicated to this once side-eyed drink. Rye whiskey has always been probably the best value in the brown liquor market, with prices being cheap and the quality almost never dropping below “drinkable.” Now with it becoming popular, the magic of the market has resulted in ryes selling for Scotch prices (looking at you, Whistle Pig) which is something I just have a psychological block against paying. So I’m not going to. Fortunately, I can fill out a number of these while spending less than $40 a bottle. I’m limiting myself to four at a time due to palate fatigue. As is typical for my tasting protocol, I’ve got distilled water to open up the high-proof offerings, as well as taste modifiers of bread, butter, cheese, chocolate and salted almonds.
Tonight’s Contenders. Also, notice that although the Pixel has excellent resolution, it is absolute ass at color reproduction.
Old OverholtStraight Rye Whiskey– Nose is sweet, spicy, a bit cardboardy. It anesthetizes fairly quickly, so I’ll take it away from my nose for a bit before drinking. Taste is mild, woody, gentle, dangerously drinkable. And this was sub-$20. God bless rye whiskey!
Jim Beam Rye – I’m rather looking forward to this one. I was very fond of the old yellow labelled version, as it was the first whiskey that I thought tasted good at body temperature poured out of a steel flask at a football game. I haven’t tried this new green labelled “pre-prohibition style” whatever that’s supposed to mean. The nose is much drier than the earlier one. You can smell the barrels, but other than that, it fairly clean. Oh that’s nice. It’s sharper, very much in the Beam idiom of sweet carmel and a big hit of char extracts. Now that I think about it, those are probably carcinogenic AF. I need to dig out some carbotrap tubes and run this on the GC-MS at work to see exactly how bad this is for you. I still like it. I will admit that there may be some emotional attachment to the brand going on, as it played a notable role in my college years. My fraternity brothers have long been excellent bullshitters, with stories being so good that they became believed and passed down as fact to the next class. One of these stories was of “Brother Beam.” Proof that Jim Beam was a member of our house was demonstrated by the color of the bottle labels (black, white, yellow) and the fact that if you were lying on the floor paralyzed by alcohol and saw a Jim Beam bottle lying near you, the ribbon and wax seal logo kinda sorta looked like our badge. I typically dilute anything over 80 proof, though I don’t think this needs it. I’ll do so anyway for consistency’s sake. A few drops does increase the spice to sweet ratio, and oddly enough makes it a little astringent. I don’t think I like it any better that way. A little fat on the tongue (from a really good cheddar in this case) also tones down the sweetness.
Bulleit Rye – The Elon Musk of the spirit world, this rye thinks it’s better than everyone else having a cork rather than a screw cap. Well lah-dee-dah Mr. Fancy-pants. I keed. I’ve also never had this one, though I do like their “Bourbon.” I may have poured the two previous glasses a little too full, there are numb regions on my tongue I’ll need to taste around. OK, I don’t know if it’s me or it, but this thing has very little smell. It’s the whiskey, because it sure has a flavor. And that flavor is impressive. I”m not quite certain where to begin since it caught me completely by surprise. Let’s have another taste and I’ll try to pay closer attention. Ok, I’m not even sure this is rye. There are tremendous herbal flavors, green fruits, if it wasn’t for the primal flavor you could believe this was a white wine. But you know, still tasting like whiskey. Yeah, I’m tempted to disqualify this from the rankings for being out of genre, but holy hell this is an impressive spirit. How strong is this… 90 proof? Ok, a few mLs of water it is. Very interesting – adding water increased the nose. I’m getting… chocolate? Yeah, chocolate, and burnt oil, concord grapes and citrus peel. This smells really good. The flavor unfortunately, instead of being transformed the way most whiskeys are, was merely diluted. Still, if you wanted to spend time in a bar just smelling your drink, get this and dribble a little water into it. Can Mormons do that? I’m pretty sure Baptists can’t since their rules are only elaborations of the first rule which is to Have No Fun that is not The Lord. Yeah, I should have a bottle of this in the house at all times.
Rittenhouse Rye Bottled-In-Bond – I adore old cookbooks. I have in my possession a 1940 booklet of an advertisement purporting to be a reference manual put out by the National Distillers Products Corporation which goes into great length about how “Bottled-in-bond” is the assurance of the highest quality American whiskey. In fact, on page 6 is notes that “Such whiskey meets all the standards for medicinal whiskey as set forth in the United Stated Pharmacopoeia.” Relevant to this particular post, it also calls Old Overholt the “greatest of all Pennsylvania ryes.” It further notes that “The Scotch always omit the ‘e’ used in the American spelling of ‘whiskey’.” Obviously, such a handbook is to be taken quite seriously, so I look forward to this rye which is produced under regulations which are “the most stringent in the world.” If you’ve paid attention to the pictures, you noticed that this one was darker in color, which makes sense as it was diluted less than the others prior to bottling (oh, for those of you without access to The Host’s Handbook, bottled-in-bond whiskey is always 100 proof). Before I smell this one, I’ll need to wash the 80-year-old-book smell from many hands. Having done so, the aroma of this whiskey is more on the bass side of bourbon, with blackberries mixed in with caramel and maple. The first sip, neat: yummy. Compact, warming, a little sharp, a little… dare I say medicinal? With cheese: rounder, less distinctive. Now, taking it to ~80 proof with distilled water: It’s like an entire circus of charred-cask clowns has gone berserk in my mouth. Holy fuck, there’s “opening up” and then there’s “a porcupine on acid looking at a Klein bottle made of Mobius strips.” The transformation is total and absolute. With respect to the National Distillers Products Corporation, this Pennsylvania rye kicks the everloving shit out of Old Overholt. It is with a heavy heart that I must concede that the U.S. Government has had a hand in producing something great here. I would turn in my Libertarian card, but I never got one.
Same order as above. Not much difference, but then again Rye isn’t all about being a special snowflake.
I titled this a ranking, so I guess I have to pick a winner:
Honorable Mention: Bulleit Rye – This is fantastic stuff, but too atypical to continue on to to the next round. I’m still drinking the fuck out of it.
Best Value Whiskey: Old Overholt – this is a legitimately good whiskey, and it’s cheaper than Jack.
Winner of Round 1: Rittenhouse Rye Bottled-In-Bond. This shakes my confidence in FedGov turning everything it touches into crap. That’s how good this is.
I’ll keep this brief. I was an amateur boxer and coach/trainer off and on for many years. I’m going to review famous bouts that many people argue over. In order to stay as acurate in my opinion as possible, I paused the fight midway through each round, typed down my view of the round so far, then finished watching the round and finish my take on it. And before you ask, yes, I was completely sober while writing this. Let’s begin!
Round 1
The beginning goes as many title-fights go when it’s featuring two highly skilled, highly decorated fighters: slowly. “Feeling each other out” is the term. In fact, Hagler did almost nothing but stalk Leonard to get a read on how he would react with his feet when he advanced. Oh! I had forgotten one crucial factor in the scoring of this fight: Hagler, a southpaw, fights the first two rounds almost exclusively right-handed. I’m too lazy to dig into the why of the matter but needless to say it was to Hagler’s detriment. Leonard dances, lands a few jabs and crosses, nothing too aggressive, but Hagler just makes a halfhearted effort at offense.
Leonard 10 Hagler 9
Round 2
Hagler begins to advance with purpose and finally starts punching. At first, Leonard and Hagler are unable to connect with any clean punches. Leonard uses his footwork to outmaneuver Hagler and clinch effectively but then Hagler presses the issue and while not landing any meaningful punches, gains the edge through the first half of the round by brawling. The second half of the round Leonard regains his spacing and lands some counter-punches before stealing the round in the last thirty seconds by landing hard jabs, body hooks, and fighting out of the clinch.
Leonard 20 Hagler 18
Round 3
Hagler finally starts fighting as a southpaw and the difference is notable. Through the first half of the round any exchanges started by Leonard are finished by Hagler. Hagler maintains pressure and keeps landing tightly thrown punches that go unnoticed by the crowd as they roar for Leonard’s deflected punches. Leonard does manage to land about four or five very clean punches in the round, but the pace, pressure and total of landed punches go to Hagler.
Leonard 29 Hagler 28
Round 4
This time, it’s Leonard who comes out of the corner with purpose. He quickly finds his spacing, and easily slips most of Hagler’s punches while slipping in himself to land hard single shots and quick flurries. He also gets away with a low-blow but to me it was clear Leonard won the round easily.
Leonard 39 Hagler 37
Round 5
Hagler and Leonard spend most of the first part of the round staying near each other and exchanging punches. Leonard surprisingly gets a little flatfooted and stops dancing, yet, he keeps his body angled sideways for the most part, lands the cleaner, quicker punches, and has the advantage. After that, Hagler tightens up his guard and begins to *walk through Leonard’s punches(*take the punches off his guard, and risk getting hit to close the distance), landing many solid shots and working Leonard into the ropes. Hagler does enough to reclaim the round.
Leonard 48 Hagler 47
Round 6
Hagler initiates the exchanges immediately. He lands clean, hard, single shots with all four punch types within the first minute while also wrangling Leonard around the ring to keep pressuring him. The first half of the round is a classic example of how to fight “pressure-in” by Hagler. Stay inside the arms of a dancer so he can’t fully extend on his punches and counter with good footwork. Force him to brawl while you grapple, lean on, push, and land hard single shots to weaken the body and slow your opponent’s feet. Basically, be a bully. Leonard lands a few punches and outperforms Hagler in the last minute, but it’s not enough.
Leonard 57 Hagler 57
Round 7
This round begins with a touch more hesitation by Hagler after an initial lunge and Leonard takes the opportunity to land a few quick shots. Then Hagler begins working inside again and scores a few shots of his own, landing a couple flurries and forcing Leonard into the ropes. But this time, Leonard does a good job of counter-punching and works his way out. The round is a draw at the midway point. Neither can land cleanly, but Hagler keeps forcing the action and then starts scoring on hard single shots. Leonard again finds his spacing and starts to score with hard shots and a few combos of his own. Hagler gets the last ten seconds, but I can’t give the round to either one clearly. Side-Note: I’m a firm believer that in order to win the round, you need to win the fucking round, even if it’s only slightly. I won’t steal a point away from a guy just cuz. This is where I deviate from most judges sitting ringside. Anyway, draw.
Leonard 67 Hagler 67
Round 8
A few exchanges are attempted but nothing meaningful happens. Then they stop the fight because the tape on Leonard’s glove splits. They fix the glove, fight resumes, then Hagler spends the next minute slightly outboxing Leonard by doing a more cautious version of walking through your opponent’s punches, yet still lands the cleaner shots. Leonard regains his composure and lands several clean single shots and small flurries. Hagler neutralizes Leonard’s attack by again closing the gap and landing shots of his own during the last forty seconds. Despite Leonard landing the more crowd pleasing punches, Hagler quietly scored punches more consistently through the round.
Leonard 76 Hagler 77
Round 9
Leonard begins the round strong by finding the sweet spot where you’re just inside the opponent’s range, enticing them to punch so you can hop outside and then hop back in after they miss to score hard crosses and three punch combinations(classic counter-punching). A great fighter can then stay inside and bob and weave off the opponent’s attempted counters to score more shots before working their way back out of range, and Leonard was great. He controlled the first minute easily but Hagler absorbs those shots and presses in to land some clear scoring shots himself and forces Leonard into the ropes. Leonard works his way out but quickly takes more punches and again gets cornered. Halfway through, slight advantage to Leonard because he clearly controlled more time. Then the highlight reel begins. Hagler continues to hit Leonard in the corner. Increasing in confidence, he begins to throw multiple flurries, landing a lot of shots. However, once he gets set, he’s flatfooted, and Leonard works out of the corner. Then Leonard starts landing combinations of his own. The fight shifts back to the center of the ring where Leonard’s faster hands and feet are at optimal advantage. He easily scores and avoids punishment for thirty seconds, taking the edge in the round. But Hagler settles down and slightly outboxes Leonard the rest of the way. Both fighters were exhausted. I apologize for the length of this portion, but it was possibly the best round of the fight, both from the viewpoint of an ex-boxer/geek and from the casual fan’s. Overall, I think the time was split in regard to control of the round, but Leonard’s time was more one-sided.
Leonard 86 Hagler 86
Round 10
The first half of the round is a tale of two tired men, understandably so. They kept their discipline and continued to fight but nobody landed noteworthy blows or gained an advantage. If anything, I’d give Hagler this portion by the thinnest of margins because he landed about four or five uncontested, yet weak, shots on Leonard near the halfway point. Hagler then imposes his will on Leonard with solid body shots in the clinch, Leonard finds a way to counter, landing impressive shots to even the round, but Hagler lands more punches during the last thirty seconds. This was hard to score…Hagler by a nose-hair.
Leonard 95 Hagler 96
Round 11
Another close beginning. Both fighters missed early but managed to score a few one-two combos halfway through, no clear advantage for either fighter. Hagler manages to maneuver Leonard into the ropes and scores punches, but at this point there’s not much force behind them. Leonard works his way out, showboats, and lands nothing. The crowd is thrilled*eye-roll*. Leonard lands a few more solid single punches but Hagler gets close and lands about four left hooks in a clinch, then another shot after the break. Leonard shows some guts and instigates the exchanges, but Hagler responds to his shots with counters. Advantage, Hagler.
Leonard 104 Hagler 106
Round 12
I think both fighters believed that they had won the fight going into this round. Hagler gave a professional effort and continued to fight his fight. Leonard, however, went into celebration mode after landing a six punch combo. And to be fair, Hagler did nothing noteworthy to erase Leonard’s bravado after that. It was even outside that combo. Round goes to Leonard.
My Final Bout Card
Leonard 114 Hagler 115
Skip to the thirteen-minute mark to bypass the bullshit.
I have no idea if I like Japanese whiskey. Let’s find out!
Tonight I have the three that the neighborhood liquor store has that are under $100/bottle. They actually have five in that latter category, including one at $325. I think I’ll be picking up a Talisker 25 year before I venture in that direction. Unlike the last time I did a glibtasting, these three are visually distinct, even if two are from the same company. For modifers/palate cleansers I have a good local cheddar, a decent semi-local chocolate and bread and fantastic local butter. Distilled water is available if I need to open any of these up, but looking at the proof I doubt that will be necessary. As with last time, I’ve got JW Black as a control and to check for palate fatigue.
Kanpai!
Same as above, but in glasses.
Suntory “Toki” Pale straw color. Not much nose. There is some toasted wood and spice, but it’s faint. It smells sweeter than I was expecting from the color and country. It tastes sweeter too. Definitely whiskey, definitely subtle. Going to try some cheese and see if that lends me any more insights. It’s a good pairing, and returning to the whiskey bring all sorts of new happenings to the forefront. If you’re going to drink this, definitely have a little protein or fat to help spread the flavor. It doesn’t have any direct analogue in my drinking experience, but it’s closest to a Speyside with a lot more of the sweet extractables from wood. I don’t know what they cask this in, but it’s responsible for most of the flavor. A good drink. It’s not particularly aggressive or challenging, but I don’t know that it is trying to be. If you ever wanted to dispel the stereotype of the Japanese being polite, reserved, non-confrontational and indirect, this is NOT the drink to go about doing it.
Mars “Iwai Tradition” Gorgeous mahogany color. I tend to really like beers that are this color. The color is so nice I keep catching myself thinking “I’m going to like this” and having to stop and reset my mind as to not prejudice the tasting – Right On Mars marketing department! This nose is more typical of bourbon, definitely less sweet but much more present than the Toki. Tasting it is surprising. It’s very smooth and clean, and seems to roll over the tongue without fully making contact. I get the impression that this is very light bodied, but body isn’t really anything one normally experiences with whiskey. The char that gives the color is very present in the mouth, with an ashy residual. Again, eating a bit of cheese really brings this to life. Eating it on a clean mouth this was like “Baby’s first bourbon,” but a bit of fat and we’re in Scotch land. When I first tasted this, I was impressed but thought it wasn’t really my thing. Now I know it can be great in the proper context. Again, this is its own beast, but closer to a Highland style with food, bourbon without.
Suntory “Hibiki” Color is amber. Nose is much more prominent than the others. There’s a lot going on with this one. Lots of esters, less sweetness. Much more interesting. Let’s see if this is worth the premium. Oh. Oh that’s good. This one is already open straight out of the glass. It starts off with bright notes like an Irish, then mellows to a very smooth long finish. Cheese brings out the toasted flavors, but the transformation is much less than the earlier two. I hate to say it because of the price differential, but the Hibiki is obviously superior to the first ones. I also can’t tie it as readily to another style for a comparison. But it’s excellent.
So, did I learn anything about Japanese whiskey? Do I have a better idea of what “Japanese Whiskey” is as a category? Nope, not in the least. I might have drawn some sort of conclusion after the Toki and the Mars, but the Hibiki was just too different. Maybe after trying a few dozen more examples I could tell you what this is all about, but until then I’ll just have to say these were all good whiskey. The natural followup question, is are these good enough to knock out any regulars in my current collection? The answer to that is unfortunately no. While I would never turn one of these down if offered (especially the Hibiki) there are tipple I like better at their prices (again, especially the Hibiki). I really am going to shell out for the Talisker 25 before an equally priced Nihonjin after this. But I’m glad I tried these, I can always earn more money.
Monster Hike is a book in the spirit of Bill Bryson’s A Walk in the Woods and Cheryl Strayed’s Wild. As Avrel Seale approached 50, he decided he needed an adventure. A hike seemed just the thing. He can’t leave his job to spend months hiking the Appalachian or Pacific Crest Trail and doing just a portion doesn’t appeal. He wants to do ALL of something.
He decides to do the Lone Star Hiking Trail through the Sam Houston National Forest in eastern Texas. The trail runs about 100 miles, a distance he thinks he can do in the time he has available. But, unlike most long hike books, Avrel Seale isn’t looking for enlightenment, he’s looking for big foot. He’s convinced that big foot exists and that there is a large population living in the Sam Houston National Forest. He also believes that the USDA and the Dept. of Interior are covering up the existence of big foot and keeping the population down.
Seale believes because of the thousands of sightings, video and other evidence. He also notes that the phenomena appears to be worldwide, not just limited to North America and that sightings stretch back in time with consistent details. He subscribes to the theory that big foots can be found in forested areas that receive at least 40 inches of rain annually and that offer prey such as deer. The Sam Houston National Forest fits that description, offering not just white tailed deer, but also wild hogs. It is considered a hot spot for big foot sightings.
So, while Seale follows the standard format of a hiking genre book, detailing the physical challenge experienced and providing some history of the trail, he also discusses why he believes in big foot, the state of the research and what signs of big foot he finds along the way. Along with the usual hiking gear, he brings audio recorders and a camera.
He sets off, alone, and on his very first night completely freaks himself out. He sees and hears a helicopter and gunshots. He thinks it must be the government hunting big foots. He’s convinced (at least in the middle of the night) that he hears big foots killing a white tailed deer. Twice. He also hears ‘tree knocking’, which is thought to be big foots hitting trees to communicate.
He feels better in the daylight and spends the second night in a camp, but still doesn’t sleep well. His brother is acting as support, and meets him at a trail head. Because he has slept poorly, he opts to have his brother pick him up each night and stay in an AirBnB with him. So, hike during the day and stay with his brother for most of the nights.
Near the end of the hike, he finds what he thinks is an 18 inch long footprint. It doesn’t look like a footprint to me, but, I’m not exactly a tracker. He finishes the hike and feels elated at his accomplishment.
As I’ve been reading rock-n-roll biographies, I’ve tried to make it an immersive experience. If the author talks about writing a song, I listen to the song. If they talk about a video, I watch the video. I even bought and drank Trooper beer. So, when Seale discusses (for example) The Bigfoot Field Research Organization, I checked it out. I even listened to part of a podcast. Apparently, through BRFO, you can join expeditions to search for big foot and they will train you in the correct, scientific, techniques. Essentially, you go camping with other people who are interested in finding big foot. Now, if you want to hunt big foot, well, look elsewhere. BFRO is strictly no kill. I bet the people that sign up have a blast!
When this book popped up in my Amazon recommendations (I blame you people!), my first reaction was to roll my eyes. Then, I thought this would be a fun review for Glibertarians. I was right. Seale comes across as plausible. He explains why he believes in ways that mostly stopped me rolling my eyes. For example, to the question of why haven’t we found big foot if it exists – he answers by asserting that we have! There have been more than 10,000 reported big foot sightings. As the book progresses, he points out that even if he’s wrong, no one has been hurt and he has learned science and met interesting people along the way. Not a bad return for any hobby.
Overall, I thought this book was a fun twist on the hiking genre. It didn’t change my mind about big foot, but it introduced me to a whole new sub-culture I had no idea existed. I rate it 3.5 out of 5 stars.
I picked up a refurbed Kindle Paperwhite recently, so I’m actually reading something, other than the articles in Playboy. I took it with me on vacation and started “Leviathan Wakes”, by James S.A. Corey; book 1 of what “The Expanse” is based on. I enjoyed the series greatly, so I thought it would be fun to see how much it differs from the book. Short answer, if you go by the show’s seasons, quite a bit. None of the gubmint characters who figured prominently in the show’s early episodes have been introduced as yet. No Mars-Belt war in the show either.
But, it’s solidly enjoyable read and good for the show’s background material, as I like punishing myself with that kind of minutia.
Who knows, now that I have a Kindle just lying around, maybe I’ll finally start reading regularly again. Maybe.
jesse.in.mb
Finally finished The Last Policeman. It should’ve been an enjoyable procedural set just before the world ends, but I had too much going on to read it in a single siting and it suffered by being broken up into little bits and pieces. I’m currently working on Anne Corlett’s The Space Between the Stars because it was available in the local public library’s audiobook section and it had name recognition from io9’s review of it. It’s actually pretty enjoyable. A plague wipes out everyone but a handful of people were isolated for various reasons spread across Earth’s far-flung colonial system. The government is made up of assholes and the main character just wants to be left alone.
mexican sharpshooter
I ain’t got nothin…I’ll pick something up for next time around.
OMWC
Most of my reading time has been with such fascinating places as LinkedIn and Monster. But I did pull down an old favorite off the shelf, Charles Coulson’s Valence. One of my long-time geekeries and the thing in college that sidetracked me from an original career aim of engineering to becoming a chemist was an inordinate fascination with what holds molecules together and why they have the shape they do. This book and Pauling’s Nature of the Chemical Bond were almost fetish objects to Young Man With Candy. Did I mention I was a geek? If you were always itching to have a really lucid comparison of the molecular orbital and valence bond approaches to understanding molecular structure and dynamics, you have found Nirvana. The math level is low enough that even old and rusty guys like me can deal with it- basic differential equations and linear algebra.
Side note: Coulson was also a religious author and coined the phrase “God of the Gaps.” He was the PhD adviser to Peter Higgs of the Higgs Boson fame, and an early advocate of using science to improve food production in the Third World- I would not be surprised to find that he was an inspiration for Norman Borlaug.
SugarFree
I’m rereading The Expanse series, including all the prequels and interstitial stories. It is some really solid science fiction, something rare these days. I hope Amazon doesn’t screw the pooch with the new season.
As a side note: Another Life, on Netflix, may be the worst science fiction television of the decade. The plot is derivative–a mash-up of a few other things and done poorly, relies on the “everyone’s an asshole!” model of character development to create drama, the science is laughably bad (why in the fuck would you need to do a gravity slingshot around a sun if you have FTL drive?) and it is seemingly produced and written by people who hate science fiction.
Brett L
I went and picked up one of The Expanse novellas, this one the back-story on Amos. Had I read it before the particular book that dealt with Amos’s return to Baltimore (still a shithole, OMWC!, even in 2250) I might have liked it more. It really didn’t add much. As an aside, I binge watched the first three seasons of The Expanse. Although the character playing Amos is too young and thin, the guy playing him does a great job of capturing Amos’s core character as a nice guy who thinks kids should be protected and all other human life is completely worthless. It is a strange, friendly, dead-eyed psychopathy that the actor pretty much nails.
I also read the first book of Larry Correia’s Monster Hunter series. I give it a solid B. It breaks no new ground, the characters are fine, and the story moves along. It does kind of feel like the Koch brothers funded vision of The Laundry Files.
For business, I picked up Effective Azure DevOps, because while I’m not drinking the devops Flavor-Aid, I did just lose a senior resource, and anything I can do to standardize and automate our build and deploy process will help me deliver a more consistent product and not have to do as much rework, which I no longer have the resources to indulge in where avoidable. Like any other set of IT practices, one should always be aware that your business is not necessarily the one the authors had when they created the process.
One of my “reading words” is “chrestomathy.” I have no idea how to pronounce it, and I keep forgetting to look it up. At least I know what it means, a selection of passages from an author to aid in understanding a language. So between reading “help wanted” ads, writing 75 different versions of my resume, and finishing up a couple paid articles, I grabbed the two volumes of HL Mencken’s eponymous Chrestomathies off our shelves for some comfort. And they really are quite soothing if you are a cantankerous and cynical person, as I am. In this case, the chrestomathy is designed to teach the language of criticism and invective, with a sharp turn toward literary and social insight. Besides his considerable wit, Mencken had a wonderful ear for the sound of language.
It is not by accident that there has never been a book on Socialism which was also a work of art. Papa Marx’s Das Kapital at once comes to mind. It is as wholly devoid of graces as The Origin of Species or Science and Health; one simply cannot conceive a reasonable man reading it without aversion; it is as revolting as a barrel organ.
-from “Jack London”
He is a man who has lied and dissembled, and a man who has crawled. He knows the taste of boot-polish. He has suffered kicks in the tonneau of his pantaloons. He has taken orders from his superiors in knavery and he has wooed and flattered his inferiors in sense. His public life is an endless series of evasions and false pretenses. He is willing to embrace any issue, no matter how idiotic, that will get him votes,and he is willing to sacrifice any principle, however sound, that will lose them for him. I do not describe the democratic politician at his inordinate worst; I describe him as he is encountered in the full sunshine of normalcy
-from “Notes on Democracy”
SugarFree
I was all over the place this month, reeling drunkenly from short story to short story, genre to genre, the only novel of note was a re-read of Fight Club, which I’ve done every couple of years since it was published in 1996. It is very, very close to being a perfect novel: black as night, funny and angry, well-written and bold. The novel has been overshadowed by the movie adaption, but the movie is all straight from the book, even lifting large chunks of dialogue directly, but neither diminishes the other. Both should be studied as how to adapt a piece of fiction for the screen, namely, if there’s a good reason to adapt it, maybe don’t throw out all the parts that made the work worth adapting in the first place. [casts Swiss’ patented narrowed-gaze at Altered Carbon, Less Than Zero, World War Z, Starship Troopers, Wanted, ad infinitum]
jesse.in.mb
My will to read has been blunted by two months of legal documents, application forms and fixing the sub-literate internal and outward-facing forms, paperwork and notices of my workplace. Perhaps I’ll finish the novel I’ve been 2/3 of the way through for four months on my flight to New Jersey today, but I’ll probably just watch a shitty movie on the in-light entertainment system instead.
mexican sharpshooter
I am afraid the only thing I read of consequence in the last month is my company’s compliance policy with GDPR, the SOP related to it, and the proposed rewrite I drew up and sent to the lawyers for approval.
JW
This week JW is reading palms…with his dick. Drop by JW’s Boutique Palmistry shop and find out the intimate details of your future by giving JW a handy.*
*Lubricant will be provided gratis by jesse.in.mb, apparently this shit has an expiration date.
SP
I’m continuing to work my way through Jon Talton’s David Mapstone series in eBooks borrowed from the Maricopa County Library District. I’m on High Country Nocturne. I’m still enjoying them, but the emotional drama with the protagonist’s personal relationships has started wearing on me. I don’t do emotional drama in my own relationships, and I generally don’t want to deal with it in my escapist reading, either.
However, what I’m mostly concentrating on currently are books on Alzheimer’s, dementia, memory loss, cognitive decline, and how to be an effective caregiver to people undergoing the process. I’m not necessarily fooling myself that we’ll be able to reverse it, but we might be able to slow the progression. Maybe.
The neuroscience is always fascinating to me, but right now I am really reading to understand more of what my mother-in-law is experiencing and learn new ways to cope with the exhaustion and sadness I am encountering as we enfold her into our home and daily life. We didn’t expect it to be easy, but I’m not sure I fully understood how draining it is emotionally to witness her struggle all day every day.
If I find any of the books particularly helpful or insightful, I’ll write a standalone post on the topic in August.
Well, I’m in love. No, not with anyone I’ve met online. (Some guy called “Papa” messaged me. His profile is “Sex, sex, sex, sex, sex, sex.” That’s it, the entire profile. **Slams laptop shut** Eww.) No, I’m in love with Bruce Dickinson – lead singer of Iron Maiden – as portrayed in his autobiography “What Does This Button Do? ” He’s definitely my new imaginary boyfriend.
I wasn’t a huge fan of Iron Maiden, but I had friends that were. I appreciate what talented musicians they are and what a talented singer Dickinson is. I’m always impressed by how long he can hold a note. Especially since he runs all over the stage. The concert videos look like a real workout. Dickinson is a favorite for vocal coach reaction and analysis videos that make much of his control and technique.
So, I put Number of the Beast on the stereo, cracked open a can of Trooper, and sat down to read. It starts slowly and I found the early chapters before he goes to boarding school unclear. I re-read them a few times and I still find them confusing. Once he hits boarding school (and it hits back) it’s a great read.
He attends an incredibly horrible and sadistic boarding school where he is bullied by upperclassmen and beaten by teachers. He does find a few bright spots. He loves drama and readily takes to the stage. He has a great metal working teacher that tells the boys not only will he teach them to make a sword, he’ll teach them to use it. So, he becomes a fencer. There is also an art teacher that arranges rock concerts at the school. Bruce attends the concerts – Wild Turkey and Arthur Brown among others, and they blow his adolescent mind.
Once reaching university, he joins a band (teaching himself to sing properly from books) and is eventually recruited into Samson, which already had a record contract. Samson led to an opportunity to audition for Iron Maiden. The band liked him and he was invited to join once he passed studio checks, hearing tests, eye tests, drug tests and blood tests. He was happy to learn he was STD free. He didn’t just join a band, he joined a serious business, and Iron Maiden’s management treated it that way. At an award dinner an American executive tries to chat up Ron Smallwood, their manager, who snaps at him “I’m not in the music business. I’m in the Iron Fucking Maiden business.”
The Number of The Beast album was huge. The tour was extended several times. While drugs were around and easily available, Iron Maiden mostly stuck to beer, generally after the work was done. They weren’t just messing around. They did drink a lot and engage in rock-n-roll shenanigans. On tour in Japan, he doesn’t like what the constant partying is doing to him and decides to make a change. He starts bringing his fencing kit with him on tour and training and competing whenever he gets the chance. Eventually (after changing from right handed to left handed fencing), he represented the UK at the European championships.
The Iron Maiden machine rolled on, making new albums every year or so and going on tour. Creative differences started to arise and none of his songs made it onto the Somewhere in Time album. Bruce decides to just be the singer and writes a novel. It sells, so he writes a second. Because, why not.
On the next album, he’s again part of the writing team, but still discontented, probably with his personal life as well. He mentions that Iron Maiden’s success had changed his living circumstances. He now had a big house with a pool (because he hates to swim), a fancy garden (because he hates to garden), a tennis court (because he doesn’t play) and he can’t walk to the local pub (because he wants a pint without having to drive) and a fancy garage for the expensive car he never drives. He thinks a lot about leaving music altogether.
He doesn’t. Instead, he makes a solo album, then a second and pursues getting his pilot’s license. Once the second album is complete, he leaves Iron Maiden. While pursuing a solo career, he does a concert in Sarajevo during the war. He writes the screenplay for Chemical Wedding. Because, why not.
He gets his pilot’s license and buys a small plane but really wants to fly the big planes. So he becomes an airline pilot. He didn’t like the training program, so he writes a study guide and ends up one of the trainers for British Airways. Because, why not.
He eventually returns to Iron Maiden and is one of the pilots for Ed Force One – the Iron Maiden plane that they use to tour the world. Note that the entire time he is working as an airline pilot, he is continuing to tour. I love the image of him requesting time off to go do a gig. Oh, and somewhere along the way, he helps make Trooper, the Iron Maiden beer. The last part of the book covers his battle with throat cancer (he’s not impressed with morphine) and return to singing.
Overall, this book is very focused on his musical career and activities that touch on that. He leaves out his personal life and much of his entrepreneurial activities. (He is apparently a big investor in air ships as well as an airline maintenance firm.) I enjoyed his self-deprecating humor and his discussion of image in rock. He says he realized early on that he would have to be ‘substantial’ because he wasn’t good at the image part. As examples, he describes his stage outfit for Samson, which included a custom made, gold lame jock strap to be worn over his pants and his design for his Somewhere in Time tour outfit – an outer space D’Artagnan maybe made from a space lizard. His descriptions made me giggle.
I have no doubt that this autobiography is every bit as carefully curated as Billy Idol’s. I just like the person portrayed much, much better. What a fascinating, curious, and restless man he is. I give it five stars for being such an interesting portrait of someone who never stops reinventing himself.
I want a report on your initial excursions wearing the shirts. That could be a nice article.
You could have pictures of the shirts, and such. It’s time you Contributed, boy!
– CPRM
As you probably know by now, CPRM has a The Hat and The Hair merch store on CafePress, and, after heeding my advice, has opened one on Redbubble, too. I’ve been buying crap stuff from Redbubble over the last several months, and really like the scope/variety and quality of what they offer. It also helps that Redbubble is always having some kind of sale/online coupon (hint, hint). So, when his store went up, of course I was gonna buy something. And, that something was t-shirts.
I decided on the classic H&H design, as well as a Gropin’ Joe 2020 shirt. Redbubble has a lot of different styles of shirts for men/unisex, women, and kids. I always go with their ‘classic’ t-shirt, which is made using Gildan tees—medium weight with easy-to-remove tags. I can’t speak as to what the other styles use. Maybe you should go check them out and see what they offer.
The shirt color selection was the most difficult part of this process. I usually eschew lighter colors in t-shirts. However, the designs require a lighter background in order to see everything clearly—to really make ‘em pop! On top of this, I try to have some variety in my t-shirt collection, which I usually accomplish with t-shirts of various (dark) colors. Purple seemed to preview the H&H design well on the site, so, purple it was. I broke with my usual habit, and chose light blue for the Gropin’ Joe shirt. It just seemed so…correct. After a few button pushes, they were paid for, and all I had to do was wait for them to arrive.
In a mere eight days, it was mail call. Here’s the star of our show:
The Namesake
Here’s Joe—with a smile that just takes hold of you:
That smile….
An interesting fact about Redbubble’s shirts: They stink. I mean, the chemical smell is pretty strong. It’s a glue-like smell that’s from the manufacturing process. They even come with these little notes, attached by miniature clothes pins, that I could have sworn talked about the smell. I must be remembering something from an earlier order. Anyway, here are a couple of pics of those tags:
I thought it told you the shirts stink. Guess I was wrong.They sure know how to promote themselves.
They put these on each and every t-shirt in an order. Why? Make-ready work, I guess. In any event, it doesn’t seem very eco-friendly to me. I note this because Redbubble is an Aussie company, whose State-side presence is an office in San Francisco. They also include at least one company sticker in each order, although they sometimes put in several.
Zombie Pandas?A smattering of stickers
They are a quasi-nice little ‘extra’, and, I admit I look forward to seeing which ones I get. They seem to have a rather limited pool of designs from which they pick, so, the experience can be kind of ‘meh’. I have to admit that I’m not keen on “zombie pandas”; cute, or, gruesome, but not both. If I had my druthers, I would go with the quasi-The Quiet Earth design. They probably know this, and are just screwing with me. Now that the shirts have arrived, though, they need to be washed, air-dried, then put through a few “fluff” cycles (I am not a Philistine!), which will take the better part of a day.
Though all of this, CPRM’s words kept sounding in my brain: “It’s time you Contributed, boy!” Do a write-up of buying and wearing t-shirts. Not exactly Hunter S. Thompson territory, but I’d give it a shot. That led me to the question: Just where would I carry out this task? CPRM suggested that I go to a Starbucks –he’s such a kidder! If I did that, I probably wouldn’t stick around after getting my order, considering I even managed to find something worth giving them money. No, this was going to have to be somewhere where I would conceivably spend time productively, while surrounded by other humans, which also ruled out the DMV.
A fancy Target, apparently.
I figured that I might as well get some regular retail shopping done, and, this just happened to be the location of previous unexpected interactions with strangers (no changing rooms were involved, dammit). I considered the fact that it has a Starbuck’s inside only slightly ironic. “Slightly”, because it is a Target in Plano, Texas: an area where people seem to crave burnt, over-priced coffee. I’d have to swing a really big “dead cat” to find suitable alternatives, and, yes-I’m excluding McCafé.
The first associate that said “Hi” to me did seem to take a quick scan of my shirt, but nothing came of it. That would describe just about every interaction I had that day. Moms with their kids; busy clerks merchandising whatever section they happened to be in; wanderers like me. Some eye contact, and, maybe a quick scan of the shirt, but, no reactions. I shopped for about an hour and a half. Actually, it was mostly just wandering around and seeing if I could find anything worthwhile. I actually had a mission of sorts, that I will get to in the next section. While I probably missed out on a greater opportunity for chat by going to a self-checkout line, I did end up getting assistance from the poor guy who has to fix screw-ups (I scanned the wrong barcode on a sale item). Nada from him, too. Paid, and out the door, it was time for a quick stop at the booze shop.
Just use your imagination, people!
I didn’t even think of taking a picture of the store. Mostly because, I was on a mission to get the FIL a belated Father’s Day gift. It seems Amazon just up and lost track of it sometime over the holiday weekend, and, we didn’t find out until this particular day. As it was, we were headed up to see my In-laws the day after all of this, so, we would just take him some hooch. He is fond of a certain blackberry Merlot that I had introduced him to some years back, and I needed to stop at the only store I could find that carried it. It was a last-minute addition to my excursion, and it only barely registered with me that I might have an opportunity for explaining this cartoon president on my shirt. I needed help finding this back-water gem, and the clerk that drew the short straw with me was very helpful. I didn’t sense much interest in him, until just as we were parting company. I saw that he gave the shirt a scan (Hey! My eyes are up here!), when I thought I caught just the barest hint of a question forming about it. I guess he thought better about getting wrapped up in a conversation about a funny YouTube animated series. Your loss, Mr. alcohol-finder-helper-guy. A quick monetary exchange at the register—I couldn’t sense any curiosity in the cashier—and I was off to…
It’s some kind of thumb, I think.
I had to buy rice. It was as thrilling and lively as that sounds. Most of the shoppers were older folk. A couple of moms with kids. It was a big goose egg. Even the checkout clerk managed to avoid eye contact. So much for customer service, I guess. I went with Success Boil-in-bag rice, and, some Tony Chachere’s Chicken flavored rice, if you’re curious. Of course, I remembered to take a picture here, where there was no place that allowed for an unobstructed shot. After almost burning out my retinas in the noon sun, I was ready for my last stop.
Not just a partial Costco, you see.
While I had hoped that the Mecca of warehouse-club consumerism would be more fertile ground, I had become sort of pessimistic. The greeter/card-checker was pleasant enough, and, he did seem to look directly at the shirt for a good second. We exchanged “hellos”, and in I went. Damn; I thought he might jump. OK, I had my shopping list, and figured that I would take a sort of ‘hover/saunter’ approach. I would take my time making picks, in order to give others a chance to get a good look at the shirt. I would consider the area to be conservative, and, it wouldn’t be out of line to find some people that got a chuckle out of the design. Pork chops: check. Cherries and blueberries: check. USDA Prime tenderloin cuts: you better believe that’s a check. I was in my grocery element, trying to not be too obvious in flaunting my wardrobe choice. As it turns out, I wasn’t too obvious. At all. Even when I picked up a Costco rotisserie chicken, the guys in the back barely took notice of me. And, it was a glorious chicken, indeed.
Golden Brown Perfection
C’mon—the butcher/meat counter guys should be a prime demographic for a curious chuckle at the expense of The Hat and The Hair. Really? Did I need to wave them down? Tom Thumb meat counter dudes were always talkative; maybe Costco thought their people didn’t need to go that route when it came to cutting up meat for their customers? After what seemed like a Target amount of time wandering the store, I was ready to check out. They had self-checkout lines, which was new to me. Probably another poor choice on my part if I wanted human interaction, but I was curious to see if these were a good idea for Costco (they were/are). I had also come to not expect much conversation from these employees, due to the need to keep the lines moving. They had a screw-up fixer who hovered around the kiosks to watch for whatever evil might crop up in a Costco checkout line. He did a quick sweep by me, with some kind of greeting. I was actually concentrating on the process, as I didn’t bring my bags inside with me, and I was trying to calculate if I had enough room on the pressurized counter. It was awkward unloading a cart, just to load it back up the same way, but I got through the ordeal unscathed. On the way out, while passing the food court seating, I realized I was being stared at by a young guy who was aaalmost in the right league for the half-ugly blonde sitting next to him.
You eye-ballin’ me, son? ‘Cause I’ll whoop you like Patton for a-
Oh, right; the t-shirt! Actually, he was giving me a sort of half-sneer that could have either been aimed at me, or, the shirt. Maybe both; I’m sure I presented some sort of challenge to his sexual primacy, wearing this funky fresh example of CPRM’s cleverness. In hindsight, I really shouldn’t blame the guy. Hell, if I had to do it over again, I would have let him know that he could get his own H&H swag at www.redbubble.com/people/cprm It might actually make a man out of him.
And, that was that. I was finished with my excursion and needed to get home so I could unpack. It was pretty much a goose egg for me in this experiment. I just needed to record my observations and thoughts on the day. I arrived just before a shipment of some of the finest coffee around was delivered, which picked up my spirits immensely. I think the postal delivery lady scanned the shirt, but I can’t be sure—she was already smiling when we exchanged pleasantries. It was about this time that CPRM’s words crept up on me again: “wearing the shirts.” Right! I have a Gropin’ Joe t-shirt that the world hasn’t seen. Damn… Well, I’ll have to worry about that later.
Right now, I have a lunch date with a Costco rotisserie chicken.
Monster Hike
So, I put 
He gets his pilot’s license and buys a small plane but really wants to fly the big planes. So he becomes an airline pilot. He didn’t like the training program, so he writes a study guide and ends up one of the trainers for British Airways. Because, why not.
