Author: Not Adahn

IFLA: The Horoscope for the Week of Feb 17

This week’s sky is probably the most complicated one we’ve seen yet (most of the sky omitted for clarity)

It is amazing that anyone was able to do SCIENCE before Powerpoint existed. For an example of someone doing amazing work without even the benefit of algebra, see https://youtu.be/vUWKMo5scKY?t=175

On the first level we have four alignments: Jupiter-Venus-Earth-Luna (in green–change in marital status); Jupiter-Sol-Mars (magenta — state level conflicts, officers, military rulers); Saturn-Mercury-Mars (purple — bad news about war, ending of a conflict, death of a soldier); and Venus-Sol-Mercury (gold — love letters, pornography, gossip). On the second level, we have interactions indicating that a divorce degree will be finalized that gives possession of the house; A general’s mistress will lose her baby; A war comes to an end because a leader (the one that wins) changes strategies; and a foreign correspondent gets lucky with a local. The third and fourth levels are both very similar indicating that this will be the most important happening of the week: A media organization will go completely to shit. There will be scandals, layoffs, and lawsuits all hitting it at the same time. I’m very curious to see which one it will be.

Of course, the Sun is in Aquarius. Also the same as last week Jupiter is in Aquarius so bonus to self control. Which is good, because Mercury is in Pisces, indicating that events around you are not going to respond to your efforts. The moon in Cancer indicates that secrets will feature prominently. Venus and Saturn are fighting it out in Capricorn, the end result (probably) being that you are going to stumble into something good purely by accident. I hesitate to make this last reading for liability reasons, but Mars in Taurus advises just bulling through any fights you may get into this week.

Aquarius: 9 of Coins – Safety, success, riches

Pisces: 4 of Coins, reversed – Suspense, delay, opposition

Aries: Wheel of Fortune, reversed – Decrease, bad luck, rapidity, loss of control

Taurus: 8 of Cups – Timidity, abandonment, surrender

Gemini: The Hermit, reversed – Concealment, disguise, fear

Cancer: 3 of Cups – Successful conclusion, perfection, merriment, celebration, healing

Leo: Ace of Cups (again!) – Joy, contentment, fertility, nourishment

Virgo: 7 of Cups – Desire, determination, will

Libra: Queen of Cups – A good woman, an honest woman, aid offered.

Scorpio: The World, reversed – Inertia, stagnation, status quo

Sagittarius: 5 of Wands, reversed – Trickery, litigation, disputes, contradiction

Capricorn: 10 of Cups, reversed – A false sense of security, indignation, violence.

February 17, 2019
IFLA: The Horoscope for the Week of Feb 10

This week’s skies are dominated by Jupiter, which is kind of apropos since it is the Planet of Dominion. It links two alignments: Jupiter-Venus-Terra and Jupiter-Sol-Mars. Jupiter-Venus is a particularly felicitous conjunction, and although (with all due respect to 5th Dimension) Jupiter-Mars is not, the inclusion of the big fireball in the sky with them does leaven it significantly. So we’ve got good luck, happiness, home, security, stability, defense — basically everything that is good about having a home life is here. Also, with both male (Mars) and female (Venus) aspects being represented here we have good news/good luck/success in parenting.

Aquarius continues to have excellent luck from hosting the Sun and Mercury. There is also a warning about flooding for the rest of us. Aries luck isn’t so good this week — the moon is poking Mars with a pointy stick which frankly isn’t smart. Speaking of not smart, Capricorn (wisdom) is getting thumped with the idiot stick (Saturn) resulting in romantic troubles (Venus). Sagittarius continues to be the boss (Jupiter). I will be paying particular attention to my results at the range this week to see if the archer-aspect of Sagittarius is delivering.

Now onto the cards, there are quite a few powerful ones this week:

Aquarius: 9 of Cups, reversed – This is the libertarian sign. Liberty, loyalty, truth, imperfections, mistakes.

Pisces: Page of Swords, reversed – Sickness. The Page of Swords typically represents a sneaky weasely little bastard who is on your side. Reversed, he’s working against you.

Aries: 3 of Cups, reversed – An expedition. Also an achievement or an ending.

Taurus: Ace of Cups – this was Leo’s card last week, so this week, you get you will experience nourishment and joy.

Gemini: Queen of Cups – This represents a good woman. Alternatively, it indicates unusual insight or vision this week.

Cancer : King of Wands – A friendly dark man. Also a consultant.

Leo: Knight of Cups, reversed – Trickery, fraud, artifice. Someone who is falsely claiming to work for your benefit.

Virgo: The Hanged Man, reversed – You will be mistaken for a Scorpio. Selfishness, crowds, and selfish crowds. The politically pandered-to.

Libra: The Hermit – Possibly prudence, but more typically treason and corruption. Sorry about that.

Scorpio: The Chariot – This one always means something interesting is going to happen. Succor, providence, triumph, trouble, vengeance.

Sagittarius: King of Swords – This card represents the positive aspects of hard power. It’s being better than others, having authority, passing judgment.

Capricorn: 4 of Wands – Prosperity, repose, “country life.”

February 10, 2019
IFLA: The Scientific Experiment Edition of the Horoscope for the Week of Feb 3
This week we are going to do some SCIENCE!

Purpose: To increase the personalization and granularity of divinatory results for the Glibertariat.

Background: The stars shine upon us all, rendering astrology suitable for predicting events occurring to multiple people simultaneously. However, the skies only speak to and about persons above a certain threshold of relevance. Also, Glibs bitch when their sign isn’t mentioned. Tarot reading provides excellent results on an individual level, though the quality of the results varies greatly with both the skill of the reader and the relationship between the reader and the subject, typically established to be as follows:

SCIENCE! requires PowerPoint

However, the mechanism by which the Tarot works as a divinatory technique is completely separate from the functional principles of Astrology, the latter resulting from the Celestial Emanations from beyond (but also including) the Lunar Sphere, while the former relies on the individual’s Deep Intuition and the universal connections of the Forza Vitae between individuals. As such, Tarot has not been proven reliable on a collective scale.

Hypothesis: Tarot can be modified to provide satisfactory results for groups of people. Tarot is a notoriously individualistic technique, but Glibertarians are notoriously individualistic subjects. The concept that Glibertarians can collectively be described as individualists is a paradox that opens the door to supernatural examination in much the same way as crossroads, dusk/dawn, or beach surf regions.

Technique: Each week, a single tarot card will be drawn for each astrological sign and the result revealed for interpretation by the individual Gliberatus/a/x. Initially, the deck chosen will be the Rider-Waite, but will transition to the Glibertarian Tarot once such a thing exists. Merging the two contradictory techniques this way will create a harmonic resonance in much the same way that adding 4 (earth) to 3 (sky) yields 7 (perfection, magic). In addition this combination of incompatible auguries is particularly suitable for the Glibertarian penchant for impurity, hybridization, miscegenation and sodomy.

Data: Customer responses in the Sunday noon post will be evidence of the usability of the provided cartomancy. Data collection will continue for an unspecified number of weeks with analytics performed at irregular intervals.

Ok, now that you all know what’s going on, here’s what you have to work with:

Three alignments, interlinked:
- Mercury-Sol-Terra = “Good news from/about home”
- Jupiter-Sol-Mars = “Strength to the Righteous Warrior”
- Terra-Luna-Saturn = “domestic shortages”
Aquarius plays host to the Sun and Mercury this week. Expect surprises, suspense, anticipation… basically the good aspects of chaos or uncertainty. Much like last week, Jupiter in Sagittarius protects those who do right, so a karmic bonus with the stuff going on in Aquarius. You’re going to need that however, since Saturn and the waning Moon in Capricorn portends that you are going to make an unusually stupid mistake. You may make this mistake because it will be easy to be belligerent, what with Mars being in Aries and all. However, it also means that a direct approach to problems will be successful.

So that’s the overarching (literally) state of the universe. What about for you in particular?

Aquarius – Wheel of Fortune. Good luck. Combined with that whole Mercury/Sun thing you’ve got going on, this is the week to take a trip to Vegas.

Pisces – 7 of Wands. Courage, discussion, barter, success at competition.

Aries – 8 of Wands. Activity, speed, haste, flight.

Taurus – Strength. This means strength. Sometimes a cigar is just a cigar.

Gemini – 3 of Wands. This signifies that I probably need to shuffle the deck better next time. Also stability, commerce and discovery.

Cancer – Knight of Swords. Skill, courage, wrath, destruction, successful surgery.

Leo – Ace of Cups. “True Heart,” joy, contentment, fertility. Is a Ed Wunkler a Leo?

Virgo – 4 of Wands. Harmony and prosperity.

Libra – The Emperor. Stability, power, aid, protection, reason.

Scorpio – 6 of Coins. “Now is the Time,” gifts, attention.

Sagittarius – 3 of Swords. Division, delay, absence

Capricorn – 6 of Swords. Journey by water.
February 3, 2019
IFLA: The Bifurcated Edition of the Horoscope for Jan 27

I didn’t buy a new Tarot to use for you all, since my local witchcraft store was closed due to the snowpocalypse. Yes, you can buy decks on Amazon.com, but they don’t give you valid results unless the cards are sufficiently permeated by nag champa.

Anyway, the skies are speaking out of both sides of their metaphorical mouth this week. Kind of appropriate, I guess for the month of the two-faced god.

The first bit of seeming contradiction (because of course, there isn’t really any contradiction where the Celestial is concerned) are the two planetary alignments. We have Mars-Terra-Luna (waning) = “strife at home.” And we also have Terra-Sol-Mercury which means “good news from/about home.” Obviously the skies are speaking to two different groups of people. If you’re born between Libra and Aquarius (both signs that feature prominently this week) then you get the good news. Leo through Aries… I’m sorry, especially since I’m in that group. Pisces or Virgo? I have no idea I mean, “your destiny is cloudy and difficult to discern.”

The second non-contradiction is having the moon in Libra while Venus and Jupiter are in Sagittarius. We’ve talked about these before — having such a powerful change sign in the place of balance leads to instability and things generally going amok. While Sagittarius, when empowered by the two brightest planets brings about things going well. The clue here is that Sagittarius isn’t a lucky sign as much as it is a karma sign. Doing right this weeks brings great rewards, while cutting corners (in a metaphysical sense) subjects you to the pique of irritated stars.

Beyond that, we have Saturn in Capricorn making people act like doofuses (anything like that happen last week when this sign was also up?) and Mars in Aries giving its buff to getting buff (hit the gym, hit it hard). We also have something new — The Sun and Mercury are in Aquarius. This is a good omen for prosperity, return on investment, financial windfall, rewards for effort, crop yields and the like.

Taken all together, this is a very rewarding week if you show some self-discipline. Enjoy it.

January 27, 2019
Political Daydreams Part II: The Great Divorce

Let’s assume that nothing in Part I worked, and we have one group of people bound and determined to rule another one. In order to prevent a shooting war, we agree to split the population apart in such a way that prevents authority from being exerted across some new boundaries. How do we do this? Here are some ideas. Again, like the previous this is mostly to inspire creative ideas or at least entertaining arguments among the Glibertariat.

Ideas 1-4: the various sorts of “-exit” scenarios that have been floated before, which you don’t need me to reiterate here. Free Cascadia!

Idea 5: Matched Cal- and Texit. California and Texas are simultaneously split off into their own countries, The Democratic People’s Red Star Commonwealth and the Second Lone Star Republic. If we wanted to be complete dicks about this, we would draw the boundaries starting at the state line, but retaining adjacent counties that wished to remain part of the Untied States. A set period of time, say 20-50 years would then elapse, at the end of which time either of the two new countries could apply to rejoin the union or other states in the US could apply to TNCOTB.

Idea 6: The rise of the City-States. When a municipality reaches a certain population, it can build a wall along its boundaries and be granted self-rule. At that point, the residents of that city-state cease to have voting rights in state and federal elections. The HoR seats would also be re-apportioned. The City-State status could also be imposed by a plebiscite of the non-city state residents with some sort of overwhelming majority (2/3 at least) being required for passage. I actually kind of like that idea, since the Great Divide here seems to be less geographic, and more urban/rural. I also like the idea of Escape from New York and Escape from LA being things that would actually happen. But mainly I like the idea of the population centers having to deal with the agricultural people as equals rather than simply imposing their desires on them from mere dint of numbers.

You may now begin to tell me what an idiot I am.

January 22, 2019
IFLA: The “My Work Here is Done” Edition of the Horoscope for the Week of Jan 20

The Glibertarian Tarot Project is not dead, though it is taking longer than I had hoped. Part of that is because my cash flow seems to be diverted somewhat to ammo purchases and buying accessories to make sure the range toy is just the prettiest little pistol that ever was. However, while I am slowly working on getting the deck put together, I also have been casually looking for more divinatory techniques to supplement the horoscopes. That’s how I discovered the most profound, most complete, most revelatory Great Key ever produced. I hesitate to share it with you, because a) you won’t need me to cast horoscopes for you anymore as it explains everything, and b) it may lead to teams of assassins armed with Tavors hunting us all down now that we know the secrets. Look at your own risk.

You want the truth? YOU CAN’T HANDLE THE TRUTH!

I’ll let one of the other (((Glibs))) go into Kabbalah, since it’s a bit complicated, and I really need to do something simpler first, like memorizing the ballistics of every cartridge ever produced. However, if you’re unfamiliar with sephirot correspondence, you can get an idea here.

Just in case the Illuminati blocked that image from going through, here’s what’s happening in the skies this week:

First there is a lunar eclipse which signifies new beginning/rebirth of an esoterical or spiritual sort/major transitions and portends astronomy geeks standing outside in the cold. By orbital necessity this involves the Earth being between the sun and the moon, which is a very powerful astrological alignment. This eclipse occurs with the moon in Cancer, so it’s time to get your Xanatos on — plotting, scheming, working in the shadows, all of these things will be particularly successful for you this week.

Capricorn is a confused mess. It’s playing host to the sun (that good!) the moon (that’s bad!) and Mercury (that’s… indeterminate but portentous!) The best-case interpretation (and honestly, the most likely one) is that you will see the removal of a mental block, or the way around an obstacle will become apparent. I could really use this — I’ve had this issue with airborne tin that seems to be small enough particulate-wise to go through our ULPA filters that I haven’t been able to find a solution to. Stars, don’t fail me now!

Mars in Aries indicates that it is a good week to stay indoors, as well as a warning about hostility. Now, we mentioned above that this is a good week for subtlety. If you seem to be in a situation where the two tactics are going to come into conflict, which will win? If you have an obvious opponent and you are between Gemini and Scorpio inclusive, blindside them. Otherwise, confront them directly. Reverse those if your enemy is being a sneaky little bastard.

Lastly, Sagittarius is keeping hold of the two luckiest planets, Jupiter and Venus. Enjoy things going as planned.

January 20, 2019
IFLA: The True Science Edition of the Horoscope for the week of Jan 13

Today is a twofer in the ongoing esoteric education of the Glibertariat. We have reason N+1 why I “never mention your sign” and also concrete proof of the sciencyness of astrology.

Here is the chart for Jan 18. This in NOT the actual chart I use, but one generated by a computer (SCIENCE!) that has many of the same features and can be used as a teaching example.

Want to know the secrets of the universe? Start here.

So obviously, you’ve got the zodiac around the edge, and the position of all the planets and a few other things marked as to where they are. You will notice that everything falls in the range between Aries and Sagittarius. If your sign is between Scorpio and Taurus inclusive, there is literally nothing there. So why don’t I mention your sign? Because you’re unimportant. Your life has no meaning. The cold, uncaring stars don’t even bother to look in your direction, nor do they avert their gaze. They simply aren’t aware that you exist. The eternal empty eons of apathy ignore you. Only the Glibertarians love you, and you can make them love you more by donating at https://glibertarians.com/donate

“But wait!” you may be saying “There IS something on the chart! That weird messed-up pawn shop logo pointing to Cancer!” Well, no. That’s the ascending node for people born that day– it doesn’t actually exist. But it is a great example of how astrology is a true science.

I’ve talked before how astrology was born out of inductive reasoning — taking data, matching events and signs and using them to make a model that predicts the future, just like notable scientists such as Ptolemy, Pythagoras, Brahe and Copernicus did. But as science advanced, so did astrology. Just as the concrete, inductive discipline of practical masonry lead to the abstract, deductive Freemasonry, so too did astrology gain a philosophical, theoretical, deductive branch. Particle physics has “virtual particles” and “supersymmetric counterparts.” Cosmology has “dark energy.” These are things that might not exist, or in the case of virtual particles absolutely do not actually exist, but we keep them around because they are useful to the models and keep physicists employed. Likewise, clients get pissed off when you tell them that there’s nothing in their sign on any given day, so astrology has developed these virtual heavenly bodies to keep the income stream going (just like any other scientist with their research grants.) Sometimes these are actual objects (like the asteroid Ceres) with absolutely no demonstrated astrological value, and sometimes they are completely invented spots in the sky, like the Dark Moon Lilith (indicated by the black crescent and cross symbol pointing into Aquarius) but they need to exist, otherwise astrology wouldn’t work. And since astrology works, they must exist. Q.E. Freaking. D.

Last week’s amaze-o bad luck Rune of Ending from Wizard of Earthsea has broken up, so that’s good. Still some reverberations from it as Saturn remains aligned with the sun and the moon leading to additional good things ending.

One of those good things that ended was Venus’s transit through Scorpio. If you didn’t take advantage of that, too late. This week Venus enters Sagittarius with Jupiter, so there’s an interesting double-path to good lovin’. Your Game will be on this week (On point? On fire? On fleek?) However, even if you don’t have Game, this is one of those rare weeks where being polite and well mannered will get you laid.

Swimming will be more difficult this week as Saturn joins the Sun and Mercury in Capricorn. Also bad luck involving leather goods. Lastly, someone will make a conscious effort to deceive you.

The moon and Mars are in Aries this week, bringing an extra jolt of belligerence and higgledy-piggledy. Ares will enjoy competitive success, but also an increased risk of indigestion. This is an obvious sign that you should enter an eating contest if there is one this week.

January 13, 2019
Political Daydreams Part I: A more Perfect Union

Someday, I will go about writing down my actual personal anti-philosophy, why I think that taking politics seriously and trying to live a non-contradictory life is not only futile, but foolish and anti-human. But that will have to wait for when I’m in the mood to speak with sincerity. For now, you get this. This is a series of partially-baked ideas about how to make the United States a better country and to help it remain a single country. Fantasies about how to split the country into decent humans and filthy statists will happen in part II. Mainly though, this is here to give all of you Glibs that give me opinions a chance to share their half-baked opinions on how to improve the country (I know you all have them) without having go go through the arduous initiation ritual of becoming a Featured Contributor (seriously, get circumcised before you send your first article to submit@glibertarians.com. SP’s rusty can lids aren’t nearly as sharp as she claims.) I suppose you foreigners can chime in too about how America sucks and your “all dressed” flavor totally isn’t just barbecue flavor.

People are the problem. As Douglas Adams wisely noted, anyone who wants power must be kept away from it. While that’s not completely possible, it should be more possible to ensure that power blocs are broken up and different factions with competing interests could be set up to keep each other in check. Basically, in order to keep the country from actually, legitimately going into civil war, we have to avoid a situation in which a significant chunk of the population becomes an unbreakably subservient caste to those in power. This is already happening e.g. NYC v. NYS but the right to move out of NY acts as a safety valve.

Idea 0: Federalism. it’s a thing. Do it.

Idea 1: End Sovereign Immunity. ‘Nuff said.

Idea 2: Crimes shall be limited to only those actions which deprive someone of life liberty or property via force or fraud.

Idea 3: End federal funding of private organizations. The major target here are the political parties. Political parties are not supposed to be parts of the U.S. government.

Idea 4: Keep the Electoral College.

Idea 5: While the 17th Amendment was a terrible idea, repealing it at this point would be even worse. The most likely scenario upon repeal (IMO) would be that each state would continue to directly elect their senators in the name of democracy, but it is also possible that the states could do something awful like set up senatorial districts.

Idea 6: Voting changes, as follows (mix and match):

Idea 6a – Instant runoff voting. Not as good as being able to legally kick in the teeth of anyone who says “you’re wasting your vote!” but it’s probably as good as we can get for now.

Idea 6b – Including a binding “none of the above” option. When included with 6a, this could make for some hie-larious results.

Idea 7: Aleatocracy. The Senate represents “The States,” the House represents “The People.” But as anyone who is even vaguely educated about sampling knows, electing from a pool of self-selected candidates can not ever be representative of the population. Therefore, members of the House of Representatives should be selected at random from the population*. The brilliance of this is that the house can never be “too” white, straight, Christian, whatever, but will always be representative of the population that it is supposed to… represent. We’d see the first ambidextrous Zoroastrian vegisexual furry in congress. There would be some guy who would vote “yes” by crushing a beer can on his head and “no” by farting. To make serving their term less onerous, we could give them a “secure” laptop (or maybe just a BlackBerry) so they could vote from home. Those who want the pomp can take their salaries and fly to DC.

Now, it’s great to not have an entrenched, self-perpetuated political caste, but how do you keep power from just shifting one step away? That is, if the legislature is changing at random, how do we keep laws from being made purely by lobbyists, or the civil service caste from becoming the only thing that matters? I don’t know, how does Texas do it? I’m not too concerned about lobbyists. Lobbying only works if the effort is worth the return. And without any long-term relationships being formable, it becomes much more expensive to lobby Representatives (though I would expect all that money to just slide over to the Senate). The permanent bureaucracy is more problematic, and I don’t really have an answer to that. Maybe bring back the spoils system? You guys can come up with one, I’m sure.

*Technically, you could make the claim that the pool that representatives are drawn from should be the entire country, not state-by-state. However, drawing by state will help break up power blocs and ensure that low-population states have any of their citizens represented at all

January 10, 2019
IFLA: “The Duck and Cover” Edition of the Horoscope for the week of Jan 6

So, big things in the sky. Very big. Also bad. Very bad. Very bigly badly. I’ll take things out of order to address this problem.

Jupiter aligns with Mercury and the Sun, indicating major political news. NOT the assassination of a president major however. This will be relevant shortly.

Venus remains in Scorpio, which is good news for orgasms. This is the last of the good news this week.

Cops will have a good week what with Jupiter visiting Sagittarius. Good news for cops typically means bad news for everyone else, but I guess it’s possible that this will be actual hero cops taking down legitimately bad people without collateral damage. I’m not seeing any other signs of that, though that could be because the rest of the sky is busy sending other messages.

Saturn and Mercury join the Sun and Moon in Capricorn. Warnings will go unheeded. Disregarded prophecies. Or, as we say in the augury biz, “Monday.” Also, hyperchange. Your reasoning will be overclocked, and yet your conclusions will be wrong. Ouch.

Mars in Aries. War, destruction, terror. Buildings collapsing. The Tower Tarot. With the Aries/Ares homophone, the baleful aspects of Mars are doubled.

So each planet, save Jupiter has got some schmutz of negativity rubbed on it. Even Venus is tainted. And ALL of the darkened planets are involved in a single construction. Just how important is this? There are the Sun, the Moon, the Earth, and five other planets. Eight total. Six of them are involved in this. This is death-of-kings level stuff. Except it’s not the death of a king (Jupiter isn’t involved) and it’s not a new war breaking out (Mars isn’t involved). What we do have is a double-legged diagram focused on Saturn. Saturn is bad news. Saturn is endings, death, Father time, the Grim Reaper, Chronos and the metal lead. And he’s leading this thing. And what’s worse, is the two legs are in a 2:1 harmonic resonance, so each are at double strength with respect to the other. Because this is so bad, I won’t even try to personalize it for the Glibertariat — I don’t know if it’s possible for anyone to do that, let alone me. Instead, I’ll spell out what each leg is saying and let you all apply it to your lives as appropriate, or (more likely) disregard it completely (see Capricorn, supra).

Major leg: ending, growth, change, deceit, evil

Minor leg: love, loss, change, chaos, news.

Good luck. You’ll need it.

January 6, 2019