So, big things in the sky. Very big. Also bad. Very bad. Very bigly badly. I’ll take things out of order to address this problem.
Jupiter aligns with Mercury and the Sun, indicating major political news. NOT the assassination of a president major however. This will be relevant shortly.
Venus remains in Scorpio, which is good news for orgasms. This is the last of the good news this week.
Cops will have a good week what with Jupiter visiting Sagittarius. Good news for cops typically means bad news for everyone else, but I guess it’s possible that this will be actual hero cops taking down legitimately bad people without collateral damage. I’m not seeing any other signs of that, though that could be because the rest of the sky is busy sending other messages.
Saturn and Mercury join the Sun and Moon in Capricorn. Warnings will go unheeded. Disregarded prophecies. Or, as we say in the augury biz, “Monday.” Also, hyperchange. Your reasoning will be overclocked, and yet your conclusions will be wrong. Ouch.
Mars in Aries. War, destruction, terror. Buildings collapsing. The Tower Tarot. With the Aries/Ares homophone, the baleful aspects of Mars are doubled.
So each planet, save Jupiter has got some schmutz of negativity rubbed on it. Even Venus is tainted. And ALL of the darkened planets are involved in a single construction. Just how important is this? There are the Sun, the Moon, the Earth, and five other planets. Eight total. Six of them are involved in this. This is death-of-kings level stuff. Except it’s not the death of a king (Jupiter isn’t involved) and it’s not a new war breaking out (Mars isn’t involved). What we do have is a double-legged diagram focused on Saturn. Saturn is bad news. Saturn is endings, death, Father time, the Grim Reaper, Chronos and the metal lead. And he’s leading this thing. And what’s worse, is the two legs are in a 2:1 harmonic resonance, so each are at double strength with respect to the other. Because this is so bad, I won’t even try to personalize it for the Glibertariat — I don’t know if it’s possible for anyone to do that, let alone me. Instead, I’ll spell out what each leg is saying and let you all apply it to your lives as appropriate, or (more likely) disregard it completely (see Capricorn, supra).
Major leg: ending, growth, change, deceit, evil
Minor leg: love, loss, change, chaos, news.
Good luck. You’ll need it.
Comments
104 responses to “IFLA: “The Duck and Cover” Edition of the Horoscope for the week of Jan 6”
Also, hyperchange. Your reasoning will be overclocked, and yet your conclusions will be wrong. Ouch.
I’m deciding between two jobs but pretty much decided . . . or so I thought.
“Cops will have a good week what with Jupiter visiting Sagittarius.”
Hide your pets?
..and yo’ kids and yo’ wife
My cop “friend” is a 10 handicap: shot in the nineties yesterday!
Shot 90 dogs or 10 90 year old women?
I went to the range yesterday. There was a black Hummer in the parking lot. With an airbrushed portrait of a chihuahua on the door.
Did you ask the driver if they had a bulk price on cocaine?
I know, it was like being back in TX.
Where did all the Hummers go? Every 20th car in DFW was a Hummer in 2000. They didn’t wear out: my work truck is essentially the same thing from the same era and is still purring along.
People got tired of the gas bills keeping them filled up?
Suppose you got rid of your Hummer: that just means someone else is driving it; but they seemed to have evaporated. Even in a world where the same Hummer is repeatedly disposed of at 10% losses, somewhere somehow it ends up in the hands of someone who wanted it or at least can’t afford to do anything other than drive it.
Compare and contrast: I know where V30 Camrys went (Mexico!). I never saw a Hummer in-tow or towing anything to Mexico.
I suspect they’re in garages.
Waiting for the apocalypse?
“Where did all the Hummers go?”
My understanding is that they disappear when you get married.
Where did all the Hummers go?
Long time passes.
I was thinking Chola or Cholo depending on the amount of pink.
Chico?
Like fighter pilots used to paint an airplane on their plane when they got a kill?
No, this was obviously an artistic expression of love. The dog was depicted in front of a leopard-print background and wearing a spiked collar.
Do they even make spiked collars that size?
A quick look at Amazon confirms they do. Also suitable for cats.
It’s the extension of Rule 34 to general goods and services.
If it exists, they make a version of it for small dogs?
It’s about goddamn time. Let’s roll!
I blame you for Putting this song in my head.
It’s good to be the king?
https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-6562121/Malaysias-king-abdicates-palace-statement.html
Some things aren’t adding up…
and then in a few lines
Okay, the ‘five-year term’ gets explained
But has he been in office two months or two years?
Yes.
*whew* Eight more tyrants ready to take his place. I was getting worried for a moment there.
Kill the Prime Minister of Malaysia!
Sounds like we might get our species ending asteroid this week. Or Yellowstone is going to finally blow.
Or more puppycide by cop. *drum roll, unseals the envelope and…* Sorry, it’s puppycide by cop again.
What? You can’t shoot dogs; what are you, psycho?
What a coincidence that AOC got an asteroid named after her.
https://www.reuters.com/article/us-europe-migrants-pope/pope-enters-migrant-ships-dispute-with-appeal-for-safe-ports-idUSKCN1P008U
The Pope runs his own country and the Catholic Church, which is notoriously wealthy….
Tripoli is a safe port of call.
The refugees are less rapey than the priests.
*points* “Hamburg is that way.”
Put them up on Helgoland.
Not that it makes anything any better, but the suspect in the Houston driveby is black
Police say they do not think Barnes’ family was the intended target of the shooting, calling the death a possible “result of mistaken identity.” Jazmine’s family, a local chapter of Black Lives Matter and others had said they believed the shooting was racially motivated.
Just a suspect, and on a tip at that, but the guy has “admitted” his involvement, so it’s not to early to kick this around, especially the
especially the
especially especially the composite sketch of a very white guy eyewitnesses indicated
That sketch looks like the creepy porn lawyer.
Very white? It looks a bit like Steph Curry.
Looks more native American to me. Maybe it’s Cochise come back to end the white man, but those dark ones look sort of funny too.
fair enough: not very very white
Where did all the Hummers go?
Question I heard a long time ago: What happens to all those Hummer dealerships when everybody who wants a Hummer has one?
Now that I think about it, I haven’t seen a Hummer in a long time. Maybe Cash for Clunkers got ’em.
I remember thinking “I wish there were some way to sell this idea short” when the Grapevine dealership opened. Of course it was easily converted to some other car/brand/used when the time soon came.
Selling GM short would have worked before the bailout.
In B school I’m sure I wrote two papers about the prospects of the automotive industry. Then I hired into it anyway; okay, I’ll only do two years; so far: 15.
I saw 2 yesterday. And I drove maybe 12 miles total.
I’m going to go out for a short trip again in a few here. I’m going to look for Hummers. No need to look for SUVs in general, they’ll be at least 20 for every car, if not more. Sorry green revolution, you lost.
If I remember correctly, the brand itself was shut down during GM’s reorg. Others that shut down were Saturn, Saab and Pontiac.
correct
but they just seemed to vanish; few people can walk away from (park) something like that
I was thinking that the other day – whatever happened to them? Now that I think about it, I don’t think I’ve ever seen a crapcan Hummer. It happens even to the best cars. Each time they’re sold the new owner is further down the financial ladder until they end up in the hands of people that lack the means or the inclination to take care of them. “Look at ME! I’ve got an 8-series Bimmer! “When was it’s last oil change?” “What’s an oil change?
Or Yellowstone is going to finally blow.
In that case, I’ll hold off on paying my American Express bill.
Maybe if you live within a couple hundred miles of the blast zone. The rest of us will not be forgiven for just having a couple of feel of ash on top us.
Given that I live in the kill zone, I’ll be drinking my best bottles this week.
Wait, brash tweets about foreign policy aren’t firm commitments based on principle?
National Security Adviser John Bolton on Sunday said the drawdown will be conditioned on the defeat of the Islamic State and the safety of Kurdish allies.
John, it’s easy, like that time Barry promised to close Gitmo
Sorry, John, but the Hat still has authoritah over the Mustache. Bolton is a close 2nd on the list of ‘what the fuck were you thinking, Trump?’, to Sessions.
Wife and I are joining the local gun range. The range requires NRA membership in order to get a range membership. My Second Amendment Foundation is not by good enough. Is mandatory NRA membership a common requirement to join a range?
The best range in west TN is the same way.
Fuck ’em.
Hickok45 lets the public on his range?
I had heard that MSSA required NRA membership, but it really isn’t clear.
As for Kinman, I’m pretty sure he lives over on the civilized side of the river.
From that it appears my local range is not alone. I sort of understand wanting membership in a gun advocacy group. Limiting it to the NRA makes no sense to me when SAF, GOA and any number of state level groups exist.
I sort of understand wanting membership in a gun advocacy group
Seems meddlesome to me, not usefully different from requiring me to join the county Republican club {hurls}. The proper way to handle this is to quietly charge $40 more than needed and then simply donating that extra to the NRA.
At the end of the day, the thing that both reactionary old cranks and libtards have in common is their undying energy and creativity in drumming up ways to lord over others. Fuck ’em, no thanks, it’s a matter of principle for me.
There is no such requirement to be a member at my range.
But the membership is closed because there are too many members right now.
I heard that David Hogg shut down all the gun ranges. He was just going around, walking in and dragging people out by the scruff of their neck, one by one. Is that not true?
Surprisingly, it’s not. It turns out gun owners aren’t that passive.
Well, just wait until he takes Sistah Shariah and Gulag Barbie with him. ‘Hey motherfuckers, put down those guns or she’ll dance!’. That’ll put the fear in em.
Pencilnecked proggy televangelist? We’d go easy on him and have the old ladies throw his sorry add out.
That sounds like none of the ranges around me.
Typically, they want you to buy a membership to their own club.
We have to pay for that too. I’m not a NRA fan and I put my money where my mouth is by joining SAF. Joining the NRA isn’t a deal breaker because there is only this one range within 20 minutes of us. I’m just holding my nose while joining.
This is why.
Whiffed
Semi-OT: Anyone else get a little chill of fear when thinking about how big Jupiter is? Or really any big planet?
Jupiter is a gas giant. Who’s afraid of gas giants?
People stuck in elevators?
People with matches?
People living on Io? Gravity can really suck.
People snorkeling with manatees?
the Mustache ?
ugh: didn’t mean to indent that on anyone
People with a sensitive gag reflex?
Paul von Hindenburg ?
Sweet. Now, what did I do with that flaming sword?
Keep it away from the gas giant.
Democrats Ask Whether a Woman Can Beat Trump: That’s the Wrong Question
I, for one, welcome the inevitable coronation of Liz of the Fauxhicans. Perhaps Nazi Pelosi can be her running-mate.
So unwoke. It has to be the Sharia sistah running with White Squaw. Their slogan is going to be ‘If you beat us, we’ll impeach you, motherfucker!’.
Sunday afternoon. Mandatory .
I’ve been watching this video of a guy making what he calls “primitive concrete” (lime mortar and agregate). And all I can think about is “This idiot is handling quicklime with his bare hands. The same bare hands with which he is handling the water for hydrating it.” I’m still trying to figure out how he avoided chemical burns.
I did it when I limewashed the front of my house. No burns.
You burnt the limestone and hydrated the quicklime with your bare hands?
I did not burn limestone. I used bagged quicklime and added water.
When you added the water, did it fizz, bubble and spit? I just want to amek sure we’re not using the same name for two different calcium substances.
I don’t think so. My bad. We are talking about different things. Quick Google search (I dumped it in a bucket, so don’t have package) tells me it was bagged hydrated lime.
Okay, the stuff you had was the next step along. It’s a lot safer and doesn’t cause chemical burns.
Is that the “Primitive Technology” channel on YouTube by chance?
One of their copycats. There appears to be a number of these channels where asian guys demonstrate primitive tech without any voiceover.
I’ve seen that. Puerto Rican guy bagged up lime for concrete down range not knowing what it was. We told him to go heavy on the soap and to soap up before rinsing, Washed right off, he still has hands.
Next you’re going to tell me this youtuber with the modern haircut and clothes isn’t really in the middle of nowhere and is just in the backyard of his modern home!
I would…but it appears you left no link for me to see for myself.
If you really want to spend 81 minutes… It’s here.
I’m going to level with you, cowboy. I’m just saying Airman Dos Santos survived.
Thats about it.