Author: STEVE SMITH

STEVE SMITH HAPPY. HIM HAVE GOOD CHRISTMASTIME. HIM FIND CAMPERS ACTING OUT “THE 12 DAYS OF CHRISTMAS”. THAT MEAN STEVE SMITH GET RAPE DRUMMERS, PIPERS, LORDS, MAIDS, BIRDS AND A TREE. HIM HAVE NO USE GOLDEN RINGS.THEN HIM LISTEN FAVORITE ALBUM:

NOW STEVE SMITH RELAX WITH FUNNY GLIBERTARIAN PEOPLE. HIM GIVE LINKS. GOOD LINKS. AND ADVICE. FROM STEVE SMITH!

• POLAND PEOPLE TELL EU “YOU BE QUIET. NO TELL US HOW RUN COUNTRY!” WHAT NEXT? PLEXIT?
• COUSIN SEA SMITH….THIS YOU DO?
• STEVE SMITH THINK THIS BIT EXTREME. YOU JUST GIVE 1 STAR RATING.

 

NOW STEVE SMITH GIVE THE BEST ADVICE. BETTER THAN OLD HOOMAN.

Q: My kindergartner arrived home with a princess birthday party invite. We’re new in town, and she’s going to a small private school, so I thought this was a perfect chance to meet new parents.

My husband dropped us off at a very expensive home, where there were coolers full of beer, champagne and wine. It was a Sunday and not even noon. I don’t drink, generally, and definitely not with strangers, or around my 5-year-old, or on Sundays OR mornings — never mind a Sunday morning with my child and a bunch of strangers.

I was confused, for starters, but as I spent the next two hours wandering the party, literally EVERYONE was drinking beer and asking why I wasn’t. They didn’t even have cake or open the presents. I left at the designated party end time, right before the “beer chugging championship” began in the kitchen.

Is this normal for wealthy families? Not only am I scared to bring my daughter to another party, I’m concerned that when it’s her turn for a birthday party, we’ll be the “weird” ones who actually play kids’ games and serve cake. I’ve sacrificed to put her in a nice private school, and now fear I’ve doomed her to be the poor kid.

A: STEVE SMITH THINK YOU BIT UPTIGHT. HIM HAVE ANSWER FOR THAT. HIM LOOSEN YOU UP, WITH RAPE. THEN YOU WANT DRINK WITH NEIGHBORS! IF STEVE SMITH HAD PINECONE FOR EVERY TIME HIM HEAR “Oh God…how can I forget this horrible day!” HIM WOULD BE BANK OF CASCADIA. SO DRINK, LOSE FEAR. LOSE BAD MEMORY. BREAK CHAMPAGNE BOTTLE OVER NEIGHBOR HEAD AND SMILE. BE TOAST OF NEIGHBORHOOD.

ALSO, GIVE CHILD UP FOR ADOPTION. YOU GOING RAISE HEADCASE.

FREE CASCADIA!

 

STEVE SMITH NOT READY FOR EARLY WINTER. HIM HAVE TO SWEEP BONES, FUR AND FEATHERS OUT CAVE. NEED MOAR PINE NEEDLES FOR CARPET. HAVE MANY THINGS DO YET.

BUT HIM ALWAYS HAVE TIME LINKS AND ADVICE! HIM LIKE FUNNY GLIBERTARIAN PEOPLE. HIM LIKE READ SILLY COMMENTS. STEVE SMITH GET SAD AT SUBARU STORY. IT REMIND HIM OF LOST BUNNY FRIEND.

BEFORE STEVE SMITH GET SAD AGAIN, HIM GIVE LINKS. THEN ADVICE. BEST ADVICE.

1. STEVE SMITH NO TALK SPACE SMITH.
2. SILLY BRAZILS. THEM COULD ASK SEA SMITH HELP. HIM INVESTIGATE SPILL. BY INVESTIGATE, MEAN RAPE TANKER SHIP, CREW.

NO MORE SMITH FAMILY BUSINESS. NOW ADVICE. HERE.

Q. I’m am a 35-year-old woman with a 35-year-old man. We have been dating for half a year now, he is absolutely perfect, and I’ve never loved a person as much as I love him. I don’t want to say our sex is a problem—it’s really not. It’s extremely satisfying and I’ve never orgasmed better in my life. The thing is what turns him on is talk of love, monogamy, growing old together—stuff I love to hear. Our sex is very loving, and we have a great emotional connection every time. But sometimes I just want to be screwed, if you know what I mean. How do I convey this to him without seeming like I have a problem with how things are? Usually we communicate well, but for some reason, I’m hesitant to bring this up. I’m really worried it will mess up the best relationship I have ever had.

A. STEVE SMITH NOT ONLY UNDERSTAND, HIM HELP! NEXT TIME YOU “WANT BE SCREWED” – JUST GO WINDOW AND GIVE THREE LONG SQUATCH GROWL.

STEVE SMITH LISTEN. HIM HEAR, HIM COME OVER AND HELP. BY HELP, MEAN RAPE.

YOU WELCOME.

MORE ADVICE.

Q. I’m going to cut to the chase. I suffer mental illness and boy did it f**k up my past relationship.

I was with a guy from Canada for 2 1/2 years so I already had THAT against me, what with being an American. While I admittedly had a lot of body image issues before we dated and I gave him the heads up. He accepted it and we decided to start dating anyways. The problem was, dating this guy was a mistake because he was emotionally abusive.

He pushed me to give nude photos a lot, told me if I didn’t strip for him I didn’t love him, made fun of my weight… stuff like that. I don’t even feel like going into the rest… Generally this made me WORSE but I was too stupid to break up with this guy. In return I did bad things too. I regret constantly bothering him to talk me out of suicide and cry that if he left me I’d kill myself. I was very sick. I regret it all so much now and if I could apologize from the bottom of my heart… I would if I could. My parents weren’t taking me seriously at all during the time to get me ANY real help until it was far too late. 

After he broke up with me due to the stress of my mental illness I went off the wall and constantly harassed him over the phone to talk to me. At first it was because I missed him. But then it was anger over all the abuse in the beginning (there’s more but I don’t want to go in any further)

It got back to me from my old friends after a huge fallout. I was labeled a “stalker”. I guess I deserved this.

After 5 suicide attempts my parents finally took me seriously and got me help. I was diagnosed with borderline personality disorder.

I’m currently getting help and making a lot of progress but this leads me to ask..is there any hope for me in the dating world? Let’s be real. I REALLY f**ked up and I was obviously very, very sick. I was so scared of dying alone I recently drank bleach just to end it all. So instead of wanting to die anymore.. why not keep trying to be mentally stable? but what the F**K do I do doc? I can get better all I want but whose going to want a crazy like me?

A.

FREE CASCADIA!

 

STEVE SMITH GLAD IT FRIDAY. HIM KICK BACK, RELAX. BY RELAX MEAN VISIT CAMPGROUND, RAPE CAMPERS, MAKE S’MORES. STEVE SMITH LIKE S’MORES. KNOW WHAT ELSE STEVE SMITH LIKE? LINKS. AND WHEN HIM GIVE ADVICE! SO STEVE SMITH DO BOTH FOR FUNNY GLIBERTARIAN PEOPLE.

START WITH ADVICE. GOOD ADVICE. FROM STEVE SMITH. BETTER THAN THIS HOOMAN GIVE.

Q: My Aunt Mildred has just passed. She was in her late 80s, it was in her sleep, we’re all at peace about it. Here’s the problem: In her will, she left my 14-year-old daughter her horrible bird. I am biased, because I grew up in New York and see all birds as rats with wings, but I never imagined one would wind up living and pooping in my house. It’s a monk parakeet, which the internet tells me can live from 15 to 20 years (“Hawk” is, as far as we can tell, about 5 years old.) I don’t want it in my house, and I really don’t want to inherit it when my daughter leaves for college. What do I do?

A: STEVE SMITH SHAKE HEAD AT SILLY HOOMAN. WHY YOU TURN GIFT AWAY? IT FREE FOOD! STEVE SMITH LOVE BIRD. IT BETTER THAN POSSUM OR RAT!

YOU NO LIKE EAT PET BIRD? GO FIND HOBO. GIVE HOBO BIRD. HOBO EAT BIRD. ALL HAPPY – YOU NOT HAVE BIRD, HOBO GET EAT MEAL. YOU WELCOME FOR GOOD ADVICE! STEVE SMITH ASK ONE FAVOR. SEND FEATHERS FROM COLORY BIRD. STEVE SMITH ADD TO SAVINGS ACCOUNT.

FREE CASCADIA!

STEVE SMITH SEE WHY FRIEND ZARDOZ GIVE ADVICE…IT FUN! LINKS FUN TOO. SO GOOD LINKS. HERE GO.

1. THIS NO STEVE SMITH. HIM NOT LIVE IN CITY! NEWSPAPER NOT RIGHT. STEVE SMITH HAVE STYLISH CAVE IN WOODS. HIM MORE COUNTRY MOUSE, NOT CITY MOUSE. BY MOUSE, MEAN RAPESQUATCH.
2. IT LOOK LIKE CHOO-CHOO COST MORE MUNNIES. STEVE SMITH HOOT AND LAUGH WHEN READ  In May, elected officials on the Sound Transit board advanced several alternatives for environmental review, including more expensive options that would require still-unidentified “third party funding.”
3. LOOK LIKE SOMEONE FIGURE OUT BEST PLACE FOR CANDIDATE. JAIL.

STEVE SMITH HOPE FUNNY GLIBERTARIAN PEOPLE HAVE GOOD FRIDAY NIGHT!