Well, its Tuesday, my kid is home sick from school, and I’ve done shit, sub-type jack, all day except play Entertainment Director to a five year old who should have gone the hell to VPK. We’re gun shy about sending him because school policy is that if they get caught with a fever over 100.4, they have to go home and stay home the next day. And the three-year old’s former teacher (now gone, yay!) used to jack with the system to get kids sent home so she could have fewer kids in her class. So anyway, five year old has “tripped on the stairs” and “hurt his knee” like six times today. But only when I’m trying to work.
Well good on the Eugene, OR cops for taking on this armed moron at a school. Textbook response. Engage, ask them to walk (but be nice), help them walk (but be nice), shoot them dead when they draw a firearm.
Grauniad gonna grauniad. In their view, Bill Gates is lying with statistics when he says the world is getting better. Even though fewer people of dying of disease and starvation:
Prior to colonisation, most people lived in subsistence economies where they enjoyed access to abundant commons – land, water, forests, livestock and robust systems of sharing and reciprocity. They had little if any money, but then they didn’t need it in order to live well – so it makes little sense to claim that they were poor. This way of life was violently destroyed by colonisers who forced people off the land and into European-owned mines, factories and plantations, where they were paid paltry wages for work they never wanted to do in the first place.
Ah, the old Rousseauvian narrative underlying Marxism. The Noble Savage lived as Adam and Eve in the Garden of Eden until the serpent Capitalism brought unto them the fruit of knowledge granting them want, suffering, and death. I hope that dickbag starves to death in a world of abundance.
Good morning my saucy scalawags! And what a glorious morning it is, it’s sad that the partial government shutdown has partially ended. But look at the brighter side of life, it’s only for a few weeks.
SP leaves us alone for one day to do important stuff like pack for a move and we drop the ball on a midday post. I tell you folks, she’s the person who keeps this site running, and everyone should bow and scrape shamelessly to her. Shit, I can’t make the links run on time every day. Anyhow, happy Monday. I’m studying for what I fondly hope are my last set of M$ tests ever. The GRE was a fucking joke compared to their shitty, hard, nit-picky exams. But the upside is that they’re mostly worth a shit if you have some experience, and its a voluntary non-governmental solution to figuring out who the fuck to hire.*
Most Austin bank-robber ever? Here’s a tip, you don’t want the getaway vehicle associated with you.
After outliving its desired service lifespan by 15 (Earth) years, it appears that the Opportunity Mars rover may be dead. If only we could get that kind of service life out of cell-phones.
*If you make hiring decisions, technology certifications should match experience. Its a big red flag if they don’t (Jimbo has 4 MSCEs but has never done anything but helpdesk? Maybe he shouldn’t be hired as your Director of IT Operations). Also, lots of very talented, knowledgeable people in my and other IT fields never bother getting certifications.
Everton and Spurs were bounced from the FA Cup. The USMNT beat Panama in a match that was anything but a “friendly”. All of the officials involved in the horrible missed PI call that effectively put the Rams in the Super Bowl are from the Los Angeles area. Djoker and Osaka reigned down under. The Nashville Predators will travel to Dallas’s Cotton Bowl for next year’s “Winter Classic” outdoors game. And everybody’s favorite hockey player (ha!) Sid the Kid took home MVP honors in the NHL All-Star Game.
If you’re looking for birthdays, these are some of the people born on this day: Saint Thomas Aquinas, typeface inventor (which was basically like a coder back in the day) John Baskerville, expressionist painter Jackson Pollock, man who knew nothing John Banner, insufferable actor Alan Alda, Mexican businessman Carlos Slim, Frog-with-an-Oedipus-complex Nicolas Sarkozy, German rocker Peter Schilling, golf great Nick Price, musician DJ Muggs, hobbit actor Elijah Woodand Backstreet Boy Nick Carter.
The first of many appearances
Some events that happened on this day include: a 9-year old Edward VI succeeded Henry VIII and did a much better job from day 1, pirate Henry Morgan took Panama City from the Spanish, “Pride and Prejudice” was first published, Sir Stamford Raffles landed in Singapore, work started on the Eiffel Tower, Preston Tucker was found not guilty, Elvis made his national television debut, Roy Campanella was in a car accident that paralyzed him, The Who made their first television appearance as well, OJ Simpson went first in the 1969 NFL Draft, and most infamously today is the day the space shuttle Challenger exploded and killed all 7 crew members.
OK, now on with…the links!
I wonder how many single black moms I can throw in jail for their kid missing a few days of school and still be considered a progressive champion…
Kamala Harris kicked off her presidential campaign. I wonder how many people she threw in jail because their kid missed three days of school were there. Heh, its California, so there were probably a few cheering her on.
Just so I’m clear here, will the left tell us if we don’t attack Venezuela that we’re Putin’s puppet? Or if we do attack, is the attack a deflection from the Mueller witch hunt inquiry by the Trump administration? Heads we win, tails you lose, Mr President! But seriously, I’m going to be quite unhappy if we’re sending anything more than words of support to the people trying to get that asshole out of office down there.
Tom Brokaw says something logical. Now he regrets it after a blizzard of snowflakes attack him. Jesus, people, this is pretty simple (opinion coming): those who assimilate to their adopted culture are going to be better-received and have a greater chance at success.
Some crazy coonass killed his parents and then three other people. He was caught at his grandmother’s house in Virginia. Oh yeah, and morons on Twitter said he was a Trump supporter and that I have blood on my hands because of the NRA.
The Wonder Dog knows that something isn’t right. “There was no Saturday night post! What is WRONG with you humans???” Well, where do I start? In any case, without SP’s steady hand, things will be a bit weird for the next week. But we’ll be back. And there’s still Sunday Morning Links.
And there are still birthdays. Besides being the 51st anniversary of my bar mitzvah, January 27 is the birthday of my inspiration and one of my favorite poets, Lewis Carroll; songwriter extraordinaire Jerome Kern; Jimmy Carter’s mentor and likely source of his antisemitism Hyman Rickover; TV mom Donna Reed; former chemist Jerry Buss; psion discoverer Samuel Ting (Morticia: “Thank you, Ting!”); the entertainingly unhinged Keith Olbermann; and the rapturous actress Mimi Rogers.
Those are the headlines, now the rumors behind the news.
Old Guy Music is a great version of a song penned by today’s birthday boy Jerome Kern. This take features Wes Montgomery showing how guitar is meant to be played, and a sentimental favorite for me, Harold Mabern killing it on piano.
Last night, we had our farewell dinner with Swiss, who volunteered to help me with boxing up the immense sound-producing monoliths that I love and SP hates. Fortunately for me and unfortunately for her, the process went more or less smoothly. But most important, Wonder Dog got to see her fren and he brought… PIZZA FOR WONDER DOG! Cue Lipizzaner dance and joy of the sort that humans can only dream about. And I got us some deep dish Chicago casserole, no pineapple, and started reducing the amount of wine we have to move. Three people should be able to drain a magnum of a 40 year old Bordeaux, right? We did, so I opened another magnum, this time a 30 year old Santa Barbara Pinot Noir. Damn, what happened to that, it was full a minute ago? Well, shit, better open a 25 year old Rhone Syrah. Fuck, it seems to have evaporated. I guess we’ll have to finish off this limoncello…
So if I fuck things up here, you’ll understand why.
There are quite a few interesting people born on this day, starting with “a dumb son of a bitch” Douglas MacArthur; “a smart son of a bitch” Frank Costello, who rose to power because of government interference with free commerce; pioneering aviatrix Bessie Coleman, whom I only knew because of the street named after her, but sure lead an interesting (if short) life; one of my favorite character actors, Charles Lane (who was born to play bank examiners); Maria von Trapp, who was far less hot than Julie Andrews; iconic jazz fiddler Stephane Grappelli; the pride of Cleveland, Polycarp Kusch; strongman and wine collector Nicolae Ceausescu; my mother’s fantasy, Paul Newman; amazing writer Philip Jose Farmer; Jew-hater and pride of Team Blue, Angela Davis; and Most Boring Talk Show Host Ellen DeGeneres (whose standup back in the day was pretty funny).
Speaking of intellectuals, The Los Angeles Times beclowns itself once again by running one of the most dishonest and (frankly) evil pieces I’ve ever seen. And this guy got a Pulitzer Prize, which is comparable to Obama and Arafat winning the Nobel Peace Prize. He manages to avoid using the word “kulak,” which is quite an achievement.
Commie Pope remains an embarrassment to the Catholic church. Maybe a tour of the former site of the Sbarro pizzeria in Jerusalem and consideration of the terrorism decline in Israel after the barrier was built might be eye opening. Well, probably not. (Disclaimer: the Trump border wall is a ridiculous idea, but not for any sort of reason that this dumb fuck dribbles out)
Just as I thought. And next week will be worse. The day we’re rolling out in our caravan, the wind chill is supposed to be -60. I’m also certain that this will be cited as evidence of global warming.
Old Guy Music time! Today is also the birthday of brilliant composer Jimmy Van Heusen, whose output of jazz standards rivals Billy Strayhorn’s. Here’s a sweet and delightful version of one of his classics, Darn That Dream, with some superb Sarah Vaughan vocals with perfect backing by the Count.
ZARDOZ SPEAKS TO YOU, HIS CHOSEN ONES. ZARDOZ HAS BEEN INFORMED THAT MANY OF THE CHOSEN ONES ARE IMPRISONED IN THEIR DWELLINGS BY EXTREMITY OF COLD. THEREFOR, ZARDOZ GIVES YOU A DOUBLE FEATURE TONIGHT.
FIRST, ADVICE IN SUPERIOR MANNER TO THAT OF THE BRUTAL “DEAR ABBY“:
Q: I’m a 28-year-old male who has never had a girlfriend or a meaningful relationship. I’m well-educated, nice-looking and have a good sense of humor. But I get shy and nervous around the opposite sex. Compounding that, I seem to have a serious “resting face.” People assume I’m frustrated or angry/grumpy when it’s just my normal expression. I’m worried it makes me unapproachable or appear to be unpleasant.
I have overcome addiction, attend daily support meetings and have almost a year of sobriety. I avoid bar/club scenes where a lot of people my age socialize. I’m beginning to feel very alone and empty. I asked out a temp at my job, but she had a boyfriend and offered to set me up with a friend of hers. I declined because I was embarrassed.
My friends tell me it’s a game of numbers, but it hurts being rejected all the time. I see beautiful, nice women with men who treat them badly, and I obsess over what’s wrong with me. My experience with women is limited. I’m not looking for a commitment, just some friends to share good times and laughter with. I’d love to have someone to spend time with before loneliness awakens previous bad habits. — ABOUT TO GIVE UP IN CONNECTICUT
A: LOOK, BRUTAL, THIS IS SIMPLE. TAKE A LOOK AT ZED’S FATHER PUTTING THE SMOOTH MOVES ON HIS MOM:
THINK YOU CAN MANAGE THAT? PROBABLY NOT, BUT IF YOU DO…
THE BIG PROBLEM IS WHAT HAPPENS NEXT…
AND THAT IS EVIL! SO KNOCK IT OFF AND KEEP AWAY FROM THE FEMALE BRUTALS. LOOKS LIKE A ONE-WAY TRIP TO LONESOMEVILLE FOR YOU. IF NOT…
ZARDOZ HAS SPOKEN.
…
AND NOW FOR THE SECOND HALF OF OUR DOUBLE FEATURE….LINKS! GO FORTH AND COMMENT!
ZARDOZ EXPECTS MUCH SEPPUKU TO RESULT FROM THIS….ZARDOZ IS PLEASED!
I AM SURE THE BRUTAL MULLAHS ARE SHIVERINGIN THEIR TURBANS…NOT.
NOW THAT IS HOW A MONARCH SHOULD BEHAVE! GOING OUT TO SHOOT…WAIT, BIRDS, NOT BRUTALS? NEVERMIND.
Happy Friday afternoon. Here are some links. Too tired to do the chitchat thing.
Hospitals are claiming that parents do not have right to review their minor child’s medical records well below majority. As young as 10-12. And saying it is Federal Law. I’d love to see RC Dean’s take on this. My own personal take is that, if nothing else, those records might contain evidence of negligence or incompetence that it is my legal obligation to protect my child from until they take over that duty at the age of majority. Now, I don’t think I would have a problem if a pediatrician asked me if they could talk to my 12 year old without me in the room.
The Republic of Macedonia is now the Republic of North Macedonia. And this being the Balkans, both the (North) Macedonians and the Greeks hate the deal.
House Democrats upset that White House officials are refusing to be a part of their dog and pony show. Why won’t these assholes let them mock them for hours on end with heavy-handed politically-motivated questions which sole purpose is to give their base a hard on? Those bastards.
That’s all I got for today, I’ll leave you with a song, go clean up the puppy shit in the hallway (I really need to just leave him outside) and move on with my day.
