Category: Deep State

  • Something, something, animals are more equal, something, something

    I honestly try not to flip out at the news.  It more or less has become a part of life and others might argue one should be aware of current events in order to be a good citizen.

    Then something like this comes up, and breaks my chill.

    This is my review of La Cumbre Piña Quercus

    So what part of this aggravated me?  Was it the part where a US District Judge overruled a lower court’s ruling the Covington Catholic school boy’s lawsuit for libel in the wake of a 16 year old kid having the temerity to smirk at a guy banging a drum and shouting in his face, and to eventually be called racist by social media, the legacy media, and some politicians?  No, of course not—it was this part:

    The students sued the Massachusetts congresswoman and 11 other public figures who criticized the students, including New York Times reporter Maggie Haberman, actress Kathy Griffin, activist Shaun King and U.S. Rep. Deb Haaland.

    U.S. District Court Judge William Bertelsman ruled Tuesday that Warren acted within the scope of her employment when she tweeted and is therefore protected by sovereign immunity. 

    “The Court concludes that the challenged statements by defendants Warren and Haaland — whether one agrees with them or finds them objectionable — are communications intended to convey the politicians’ views on matters of public interest to their constituents,” Bertelsman wrote

    The judge also dismissed Haaland, of New Mexico, from the suit. Haaland had tweeted that Phillips was “harassed and mocked by a group of MAGA hat-wearing teens.”

    Attorneys for the students claimed the boys became the target of “a social media lynch mob” that spread misinformation and led to the boys receiving death threats and hate mail.

    Sovereign Immunity.  What is that you ask?  Let me preface that I am not an attorney, nor do I intend to convey the idea that I am one.  That said my graduate degree is in Public Administration and I not only wrote a paper on the matter, I did particularly well on the assignment.  Should one of the law dogs here wish to weigh in, please do so.

    I rule in favor of me. DILLY DILLY

    Sovereign Immunity is a legal concept Americans borrowed from the British.  The idea is to avoid the circular logic in filing a lawsuit against the Crown.  The British Crown set up the courts in part to settle civil disputes between subjects, the rulings which hold the force of law because the court is acting directly on behalf of the British Crown.  Quite frankly, the queen and the rest of her family is either (supposedly) drinking beyond her own government’s recommendation, flying in private jets while whining about climate change, or (allegedly) hitting up jailbait with Epstein…they simply do not have that kind of time.  A subject therefore can file a lawsuit against an individual, or a company that violated that individual’s rights under common law.  What happens if you are wronged by somebody working on behalf of the government?  The Crown enabled the official that wronged you, and you are now asking a court who’s power is derived from the discretion of Crown…

    You see where I am going with this, you cannot sue the Crown.  Even if you could, do you think they will rule honestly?

    But this is America, and we fought a war to get away from this, right?  We did indeed fight the war but didn’t get away from from it.  From the pocket Constitution on my desk, Article III, Section 2 says:

    Unfortunately, if you have a problem with a particular person in the US Government acting under the Constitution, you are stuck going through the courts set up under that same Constitution.  This concept is further reinforced under the 11th Amendment.

    Page break…

    Unfortunately, there will be no lawsuits affecting Ambassadors, other public Ministers and Counsels, and those in which a State shall be Party.  Can you sue a government agency or the state itself for violation of rights?  Of course, but the asshole that did it is immune because he was just doing his job.

    The problem I have with this is the lawsuit is for libel, which is knowingly spreading false information that disparages the subject in print or other forms of media.  Unlike slander, which is spoken, libel has a record of happening making it easier to prove.  Even after an unedited version of the video suggested the story the media told about the incident was wrong, they continued telling the same story saying the MAGA hat wearing Covington kids started an altercation and the dude banging the drum was trying to keep the peace, and it was racist to smirk at the guy.  Only a racist would wear a MAGA hat.

    Well, Lizzy got busy spreading this misinformation on Twitter.  Per this clown’s ruling, a senator is immune from spreading what any reasonable person can determine is a lie, because a senator giving her opinion on current events falls under a senator’s daily duties.  I for one say this is bullshit, and she should be held personally responsible for spreading this lie.  Being a senator and now a candidate for president means the lie will spread faster from the press coverage she will recieve, harming the subjects further than had she done the sensible thing and said nothing at all.

    …but her inability to simply not lie is another matter.

    So what in the hell kind of beer is this?  This is a pineapple sour ale aged in tequila barrels.  I thought this was going to suck.  Arizona has a rather popular pineapple wheat beer that I go for from time to time that I find a bit sweet, but chuggable on a hot day.  This is not like that.  I thought it was going to to be too sour for me to enjoy.  This is not like that either.  Finally, I thought this was going to be a blast of tequila; no, this is not like that at all.  It is interesting, rather expensive ($16), but otherwise well done.  La Cumbre Piña Quercus 3.5/5.

  • Chapter 7 – Congress Acts: 10 U.S.C. §1107

    More can and must be done, however, to rebuild trust, to avoid repeating past mistakes, and to prevent future health consequences similar to those experienced during and after the Gulf War. Our troops must be assured that when we send them into battle, they will be protected by the best military technology, the best leaders, and the best medicine. Protection also means proper education and training, as well as provision of critical information, including information about investigational new drugs that may be administered to our troops for their protection against chemical and biological threats.[i]

    At the end of multiple hearings on Gulf War Syndrome and many inquiries into the DoD’s use of experimental and investigational drugs during the Gulf war, in 1997 Congress (finally) decided that enough was enough. Representative Patrick Kennedy (D, RI), introduced a bill on the floor of Congress to provide some small measure of protection for service members. In its original form, the bill imposed three requirements on the DoD: either prior to, or within 30 days of, administering an investigational new drug, the DoD would have to inform military members that

    1. The drug being administered is investigational;
    2. The reasons why the drug is being administered;
    3. The potential side effects of the drug, including side effects resulting from interactions of the drug with other drugs or treatments being administered to the individual.

    Representative Kennedy’s remarks made clear that the bill was the direct result of inquiries into the Gulf War and what he perceived as a DoD cover-up of possible chemical exposures of U.S. troops. He noted that the trust between soldiers and the government

    “has been called into question. One need merely read newspaper articles surrounding the Persian Gulf war to see what I mean. On February 28, the New York Times ran an article entitled: ‘Pentagon Reveals It Lost Most Logs on Chemical Arms;’ ‘Missing From Two Sites: Gulf War Veterans Now Raise Questions of Cover-Up or Criminal Incompetence.’”[ii]

    Mr. Kennedy went on to cite another article that revealed that the Army had been warned by the CIA five years prior (to the article) about the possible exposure of troops to chemical agents and that the DoD had claimed that it only became aware of the exposures the prior year. Additionally, Kennedy referenced the DoD and FDA negotiations that took place prior to the Gulf War regarding a waiver of informed consent detailed in the previous chapter. He criticized the DoD for failing to comply with the conditions the FDA had set forth in order to grant the waiver of informed consent that the DoD legally needed and had negotiated in order to use both pyridostigmine bromide and botulinum toxoid on troops. Oddly enough, however, Kennedy then seemed to concede that the DoD could now use investigational drugs without informed consent because “[u]nfortunately, for our troops, the threat of chemical and biological weapons have become an increasing reality[.]” Mr. Kennedy seemed to believe that, at the least, “the men and women who served in the Gulf War had a right to know that the vaccines administered to them were investigational” and that “[t]he same service members had a right to know about the side effects of the investigational drugs.”[iii] As an author’s note, I feel compelled to add that Representative Kennedy did swear an oath to “defend the Constitution of the United States of America against all enemies foreign and domestic” and “to bear true faith and allegiance to the same.” Which can only mean that either (a) Kennedy believed that it is perfectly fine for the U.S. government to experiment on its troops, or (b) he doesn’t know very much about the Constitution. (‘Both’ is also an acceptable and likely answer).

    To his credit, however, Kennedy did introduce the bill in order “to ensure that in the future our troops are informed of investigational drugs, and to help ensure that our service members can and will trust their government.”[iv] The legislation received some discussion on the floors of both the Senate and the House, always with reference to the Congressional investigations surrounding Gulf War Illness and the mistakes made with pyridostigmine bromide.[v] Finally, as part of the National Defense Authorization Act for fiscal year 1998 (from October 1997 to October 1998), Mr. Kennedy’s proposed bill became 10 U.S.C. §1107. In something that couldn’t be made up, within a year of this bill being approved and becoming law, Secretary of Defense William Cohen announced that he would begin the inoculation of all U.S. military personnel with the anthrax vaccine.

    As this vaccination program was kicking off, the Senate Armed Services committee was already calling high-ranking DoD officials to explain how the program was going to work in light of the Persian Gulf experience and even the then recent deployment of troops to Bosnia. In fact, members of the committee pointed to the Presidential Advisory Committee’s review of the DoD’s efforts in Bosnia and pointed out that they were deemed “an abysmal failure.”[vi] This committee even addressed the issue of how the DoD proposed to handle the administration of clinical protocols in accordance with FDA regulations. It is important to note that here the DoD was acknowledging that it had to comply with clinical protocol requirements of the FDA if it administered a drug in such a way as to render it an investigational new drug. An FDA official opined that “we [the FDA] believe that they [DoD officials] understand… [the need to comply with IND procedures]. We believe that they have the capability of complying with all of our IND rules and regulations.  As to whether they will comply in the next deployment situation, obviously we can’t predict that.”[vii]

    The Acting Secretary of Defense for Health affairs, Gary Christopherson, tried to assuage the concerns of committee members by admitting that the Bosnia experience[1] was a “situation where we believed we ought to be able to do an IND and do it well, it still did not come off 100 percent. It did not meet their standards. It did not meet our standards in there.”[viii] He went on to add that the DoD and the FDA were engaged in a “conversation” to improve their compliance with the FDA’s regulations. In a bit of backpedaling, Mr. Christopherson implied that there was some kind of agreement between the FDA and DoD that there would not need to be full compliance with the requirements of the Nuremberg Code, the FDA’s regulations, and the DoD’s own internal regulations. He offered that “[t]he one thing that I think both FDA and we have come to somewhat – not necessarily a conclusion, but close to – is that in real combat situations it’s very difficult if not impossible to do a full investigative new drug protocol.” This did not seem to arouse much comment from any of the Senators, despite the clear implication that DoD was not going to comply with the requirements for informed consent for an IND procedure. One other question not raised (of course) was how combat would be defined. Even if the DoD were granted a waiver for combat exigencies, would Bosnia and other peacekeeping operations fit the justification given for the Gulf War?

    At the same time that the Senate hearings were going on and the anthrax program (AVIP) was going forward, the FDA was also trying to determine if the interim rule that it had published to allow DoD to use investigational drugs without informed consent should become a final rule. That rule, granting the DoD waiver, was still “on the books” as the interim rule pending finalization. The FDA solicited comments by October 29, 1997. This means that (legally speaking) as late as autumn of 1997, the DoD still had a waiver from the FDA’s requirements of informed consent. The language of the rule was broad and did not specifically exempt just those two products, although that was the agreement reached in 1990. Now, as the DoD was preparing to use another investigational drug in Bosnia and not doing it particularly well, the FDA was asking whether or not the DoD should be allowed to maintain the waiver. This produced some interesting exchanges in committee hearings in Congress. In 1996, the Director of the FDA brought forward Ms. Mary Pendergast, a doctor at the FDA’s Center for Biologics Evaluation and Research (CBER), to answer the question about this rule.

    REP. NETHERCUTT:  So your conclusion five years later is that waiving the Informed consent requirements is acceptable?

    PENDERGAST: Yes, basically. It’s not the preferred option, but there are some products that you cannot ethically test. . .

    REP. NETHERCUTT:  Okay. I’m trying to get to now. . . as to why you feel it’s acceptable to do that.

    PENDERGAST: If there is another war —

    REP. NETHERCUTT: Which is prospective.

    PENDERGAST: Yes. If there is another war and if there is a circumstance where the military might need to give prophylactic treatment to its troops, then we would create simply the framework that would give them the opportunity to come to the FDA to ask for permission to waive informed consent. It’s not saying that we would waive it during peacetime; it’s not that we would automatically waive it, rather, we would create a framework that would permit them to ask for permission.

    KESSLER: I think the presumption is, if it is at all possible, you get informed consent. That certainly is my personal position.[ix]

    In this exchange, the head of the FDA, Dr. Ronald Kessler, asserts that informed consent would not be waived during peacetime at the same time that the FDA has on the books an interim rule that allows the DoD to waive informed consent, not just for combat, but also for the “the immediate threat of combat.”[x] How immediate would the threat have to be and what level of combat would it have to be? One can only envision that the DoD would get to make both of these determinations; certainly the FDA is not going to question a military officer’s determination that combat is imminent or immediate or of sufficient ferocity to be deemed combat.[2] Thus the rule is really no rule at all in terms of limiting the application of when the DoD can waive informed consent.

    In a 1997 Congressional hearing on Bioethics, this issue also came up by Dr. Arthur Caplan, a professor of Bioethics at the University of Pennsylvania. He offered quite simply that “the handling of the waiver with respect to the troops was unethical.”[xi] His opinion was that even with the waiver of prior informed consent, the DoD should have informed troops after the fact, if nothing else; that “the Defense Department – and those military agencies have not – did not do what they needed to do to after the fact inform people when they were exposed to innovative or experimental substances.”[xii]

    His second point of contention was that “there’s still been no formulation of a policy about what we do with respect to research on our troops. We don’t have it today. We didn’t have it six years ago. And I find it incredible that we have not had more than an interim rule to guide us with respect to research in the military.” At the time he said this, the FDA’s interim waiver rule for 50.23(d) was still in effect. Another doctor looked back even further and questioned the underlying assumption of the waiver, which, unfortunately, more people have not done.

    BENJAMIN WILFOND: I think I was not convinced this morning that they ever gave a clear reason why it was not feasible to have given – asked for consent in the first place. I mean, presumably if you ask the soldiers: You may be exposed to nerve gas. This medication may help you, but we really don’t know and would like to do a project. Would you like to participate? Most of them would probably say yes.[xiii]

    Some discussion ensued and there was the usual deference about the “quick” mustering up of forces, but Dr. Wilfond continued to question the assumption: “my point is that there’s still no – it’s not clear that they couldn’t have done it ahead of time either.”[xiv]

    This is an important issue that seems to get swept away amidst the rhetoric and large questions, but it is a particularly pragmatic point but deserves some attention. Every member of the Armed forces has, at one time or another, stood in line awaiting some inoculation. There is absolutely no explanation by these people in Congress why – if a member of the Armed Forces has to stand in line to get the shot – there would not be sufficient time to obtain the member’s informed consent? Even if the requirement for written consent were waived, if medical records have to be annotated anyway, how much more difficult would it be for the corpsman or medical personnel to hand a sheet out to everyone as they are standing in line? Or, how hard would it be to include a standard medical brief along with all of the other briefs that servicemembers have to receive when deploying, during which the ranking surgeon explains that this is the only possible treatment for the known threat. As both Doctor Wilfond and another doctor pointed out in their testimony to the Congressional committee:

    CAPLAN:  We took a lot of testimony at the Presidential Advisory Committee on this matter, and it was summed up fairly well by one of our people who came to testify to us who said, if someone is shooting very large bullets at you which may be filled with biological weapons, the likelihood of your refusing an antidote is zero.[xv]

    This may or may not be true: indeed, my own informal surveying concludes quite the opposite. The troops will take the known risks of being shot over the unknown risks of (yet another) DoD boondoggle with unproven chemicals being shoved into one’s body (a point to which I will return in detail later in this book). Despite these committee hearings, most of which had an FDA  representative attending and concurring in the recommendations of others, the FDA had still not issued a new rule to replace the interim waiver rule from the Gulf War in late 1998. By this time, Congress had held so many hearings on the issue of informed consent and military members that it moved from the committee level onto the floor of Congress.

    Representative Christopher Shays, a vocal opponent to the waiver granted to the FDA, rose as the speaker pro tempore in the House on June 16, 1998. He pointed out that there had been 13 hearings in three and-a-half years looking into Gulf War Illness. During this time, various agencies had testified in order to “try to get a handle on the problems that our Gulf War veterans have faced when they returned home. Out of the 700,000 that have returned, almost 100,000 have had some types of physical problems to deal with and have sought to have their illnesses be dealt with by the Department of Veterans Affairs.”[xvi] Mr. Shays noted that after 11 hearings, there had been a number of findings and recommendations made, among them that

    “the VA and the Pentagon did not properly listen to sick Gulf War veterans in terms of the possible causes of their illness[;] [that] there is no credible evidence that stress or Post Traumatic Stress Disorder caused the illnesses reported by many Gulf War veterans[; and] that Congress should enact legislation establishing the presumption that veterans were exposed to hazardous materials known to have been present in the Gulf War theater.”[xvii]

    Most importantly, Congressman Shays recommended that “the FDA should not grant a waiver of informed consent requirements allowing the Pentagon to use experimental or investigational drugs unless the President signs off and approves.[xviii] This recommendation would become the cornerstone of a new version of Representative Patrick Kennedy’s first, more modest legislation. Interestingly, all it really did was seek a return to the “common rule” set forth in the Department of Defense’s own regulations, the Department of Health and Human Services regulations, the FDA’s regulations (prior to the waiver), the Nuremberg Code, and the federal statute passed which codified the Nuremberg Code. All of these regulations and laws have always stated that “the informed consent of the subject is absolutely essential” and all of them stated a presumption that “informed consent is feasible except . . .” in certain limited circumstances, usually when the subject was incompetent or incapable of giving consent or in a life threatening situation where the subject could not consent.[xix] As an example, the DoD’s own regulations state, unequivocally:

    Except as provided elsewhere in this policy, no investigator may involve a human being as a subject in research covered by this policy unless the investigator has obtained the legally effective informed consent of the subject or the subject’s legally authorized representative. An investigator shall seek such consent only under circumstances that provide the prospective subject or the representative sufficient opportunity to consider whether or not to participate and that minimize the possibility of coercion or undue influence. The information that is given to the subject or the representative shall be in language understandable to the subject or the representative. No informed consent, whether oral or written, may include any exculpatory language through which the subject or the representative is made to waive or appear to waive any of the subject’s legal rights, or releases or appears to release the investigator, the sponsor, the institution or its agents from liability for negligence.[xx]

    The FDA and DHHS regulations are identical, almost word-for-word. Additionally, the same regulation goes on to assure the subject that the only way that informed consent could be waived is if an appropriate Institutional Review Board, composed of doctors and other experts and members of the given community, determined that

    • The research involves no more than minimal risk to the subjects;
    • The waiver or alteration will not adversely affect the rights and welfare of the subjects;
    • The research could not practicably be carried out without the waiver or alteration; and
    • Whenever appropriate, the subjects will be provided with additional pertinent information after participation.[xxi]

    This language is hard to reconcile with the policy in the Gulf war that Mr. Shays noted that “our troops were ordered to take an experimental drug referred to as PB . . . It was used . . . as an experimental drug to do something it was not designed to do. Our troops did not have the option to decide whether or not to do this. They were under order. If they did not live by their order, they would be prosecuted by the military.”[xxii] Congressman Shays, looking back at that moment, probably had no idea that his words actually foreshadowed what was to come under the anthrax vaccination program that had just begun in April of 1998. Notwithstanding his intent to prevent just such occurrences – the threat of forced/coerced inoculation – embodied in the legislation that was to pass later that year, courts-martial were already beginning for those who would try to exercise the very rights being re-issued to them under the new version of 10 U.S.C. §1107.

    The 1998 version of 10 U.S.C. §1107 was passed as part of the National Defense Authorization Act for fiscal year 1999, in October 1998. The differences between the 1997 version and the 1998 version are startling and important to note, not only for their legal effect, but for what they reveal about the rational for making the changes. The original (1997) 10 U.S.C. §1107 required the Secretary of Defense to provide written notice to service members of the use of an investigational new drug or a drug unapproved for its applied use “unless the Secretary of Defense determines that the use of written notice is impractical because of the number of members receiving the investigational new drug or drug unapproved for its applied use, time constraints, or similar reasons.”[xxiii]  This means that the Secretary of Defense had almost unfettered discretion to determine that written notice was not feasible. The only condition or enforcement mechanism was that the Secretary was supposed to provide Congress a written explanation if written notice was not used. The 1998 version, however, in sharp contrast, would strike that language out (from “unless” to the end), thus eliminating anything except written notice.  The new version would then add one significant paragraph, (f) and change the current (f), the definitions section, to (g). The new paragraph, unchanged since 1998, reads as follows:

    (f) Limitation and Waiver.—

    1. In the case of the administration of an investigational new drug or a drug unapproved for its applied use to a member of the armed forces in connection with the member’s participation in a particular military operation, the requirement that the member provide prior consent to receive the drug in accordance with the prior consent requirement imposed under section 505(i)(4) of the Federal Food, Drug, and Cosmetic Act (21 U.S.C. 355(i)(4)) may be waived only by the President. The President may grant such a waiver only if the President determines, in writing, that obtaining consent–

    (A) is not feasible;

    (B) is contrary to the best interests of the member; or

    (C) is not in the interests of national security.

    2. In making a determination to waive the prior consent requirement on a ground described in subparagraph (A) or (B) of paragraph (1), the President shall apply the standards and criteria that are set forth in the relevant FDA regulations for a waiver of the prior consent requirement on that ground.

    This portion of the statute vests the decision to use or not use investigational drugs with one person and one person alone, the President of the United States. While the President appoints a cabinet member, the Secretary of Defense, to be his representative on military affairs, this law specifically lifts the power to make these decisions out of the Secretary’s hands and placed it squarely on the President.

    3. The Secretary of Defense may request the President to waive the prior consent requirement with respect to the administration of an investigational new drug or a drug unapproved for its applied use to a member of the armed forces in connection with the member’s participation in a particular military operation. With respect to any such administration –

    (A) the Secretary may not delegate to any other official the authority to request the President to waive the prior consent requirement for the Department of Defense; and

    (B) if the President grants the requested waiver, the Secretary shall submit to the chairman and ranking minority member of each congressional defense committee a notification of the waiver, together with the written determination of the President under paragraph (1) and the Secretary’s justification for the request or requirement under subsection (a) for the member to receive the drug covered by the waiver.

    The crucial portion of this new law is that only the President could waive the requirement for informed consent. Furthermore, even if the Secretary wishes to request a waiver, he cannot delegate that request, putting him- or herself on the hook, as well, if something were to go wrong. The President could also only grant the waiver in writing, and then the Secretary has to submit a copy of the waiver and his justification for requesting it in writing to both the House and Senate Committees involved that have cognizance over military affairs AND appropriate the money for such operations.

    This section thus vests political liability for the decision to waive informed consent with the President. Second, it provides Congress with the weapon to veto the Presidential decision with its mightiest tool – control over the appropriations to conduct such an operation. While there is still an ongoing battle over the two provisions of the Constitution that vest control of the military in two different branches of government,[3] ultimately Congress could win such a battle by denying the funding for any military operation under its plenary power to appropriate money. Perhaps the most important aspect of the statute comes from the enabling public law. The National Defense Authorization Act for FY 1999, which passed and enacted the second version of 10 U.S.C. §1107, contained two notes that would affect any existing waivers of the requirement for informed consent. The first paragraph (paragraph (2) of the 1998 act) explains that the new paragraph (f) applies to any new operation involving service members. The second of these two clauses addressed the possible “grandfathering” of any pre-existing waivers and states that

    (3) <10 USC 1107 note> A waiver of the requirement for prior consent imposed under the regulations required under paragraph (4) of section 505(i) of the Federal Food, Drug, and Cosmetic Act (or under any antecedent provision of law or regulations) that has been granted under that section (or antecedent provision of law or regulations) before the date of the enactment of this Act for the administration of a drug to a member of the Armed Forces in connection with the member’s participation in a particular military operation may be applied in that case after that date only if

    (A) the Secretary of Defense personally determines that the waiver is justifiable on each ground on which the waiver was granted;

    (B) the President concurs in that determination in writing; and

    (C) the Secretary submits to the chairman and ranking minority member of each congressional committee referred to in section 1107(f)(4)(C) of title 10, United States Code (as added by paragraph (1)) –

    (i) a notification of the waiver;

    (ii) the President’s written concurrence; and

    (iii) the Secretary’s justification for the request or for the requirement under subsection 1107(a) of such title for the member to receive the drug covered by the waiver.

    Thus, the statute not only looked forward to future operations, it also reached back and effectively wiped out the existing interim FDA rule and waiver that the FDA still had not changed. The FDA would update its regulations in May 1999, incorporating all of the requirements of 10 U.S.C. §1107, some 7 months after the passage of the act and some eight plus years after it issued an “interim” rule for Desert Storm.

    Endnotes

    [1] In the Bosnia deployment, the DoD vaccinated troops against a tickborne encephalitis with an investigational drug.

    [2] This is not a game of semantics, either. Our predecessor veterans in Vietnam, having spent time in the “Arizona Valley” near Da Nang or serving near the DMZ, might not characterize the role of our troops in Bosnia as “combat”, yet any time a bullet flies from a hostile rifle, there is the possibility for death and harm. The FDA is certainly not going to gainsay the military in such matters.

    [3] The Constitution, in Art. I, §2, names the President as Commander-in-Chief of the armed forces. Art. II, §8 grants Congress the power to make rules for the land and naval forces, to raise armies, and the power to make all necessary rules in carrying out its duties under Art II.

    [i] 143 Cong. Rec. E 637, April 10, 1997 (remarks of Representative Patrick Kennedy of Rhode Island).

    [ii] Id. See also https://www.nytimes.com/1997/02/28/us/pentagon-reveals-it-lost-most-logs-on-chemical-arms.html

    [iii] Id.

    [iv] Id.

    [v] See, e.g., 143 Cong. Rec. H. 9137 (Oct. 23, 1997).  Section 766 of the National Defense Authorization Act for fiscal year 1998 contained this bill under the subtitle Persian Gulf Illness (Subtitle F).

    [vi] U.S. Senate Committee on Veterans’ Affairs Holds Hearings on the Nomination of Togo West to be Secretary of Veterans’ Affairs and U.S. Biologic Vaccines for Gulf War Veterans.  Statement of Senator Rockefeller.  March 17, 1998.

    [vii] Id.  Testimony of Mr. Randolph Wykoff, Associate Commissioner for Operations, Food and Drug Administration.

    [viii] Id.  Testimony of Mr. Gary Christopherson.

    [ix] Testimony before the House Committee on Appropriations Subcommittee on Agriculture, Rural Development, Food and Drug Administration, and Related Agencies, (March 12, 1996).

    [x] 21 C.F.R. 50.23(d) (1990).

    [xi] House Government Reform Committee and Subcommittee on Human Resources Holds a Hearing on Biomedical Ethics, (May 8, 1997).

    [xii] Id.

    [xiii] Id.

    [xiv] Id.

    [xv] Id.

    [xvi] 144 Cong. Rec. H. 4616 (June 16, 1998).

    [xvii] Id.  Remarks of Congressman Shays.

    [xviii] Id. (emphasis added)

    [xix] See 32 CFR 216.107, 46 CFR Part 45, 21 CFR 50.23(d), 50 USC 1520a and The Nuremberg Code.

    [xx] 32 CFR 219.116 (2001).  These regulations have been in place since 1991.

    [xxi] Id.

    [xxii] 144 Cong. Rec. H. 4616 (June 16, 1998).

    [xxiii] 10 USC 1107 (1997).

  • Chapter 2 – The Nuremberg Code

    Members of the military are not shorn of their constitutional rights while they remain in the military service. Blackstone said: ‘. . . he puts not off the citizen when he enters the camp; but it is because he is a citizen, and would wish to continue so, that he makes himself for a while a soldier.’[i]

    After the Germans were defeated in World War II, it was not long before both an International War Crimes Tribunal was created, and a separate Military Tribunal, to try members of the German High Command and others for their “War Crimes, Crimes Against Peace and Against Humanity.”[ii] These military tribunals were held under the auspices of the four individual Zone Commanders, into which Germany had been divided at the end of the war. The Chief Prosecutor for the military tribunals in the American Zone was General Telford Taylor, U.S. Army. There were twelve separate trials held at Nuremberg by the American Military Governor, promulgated by Military Government Ordinance Number Seven, dated 25 October 1946. This ordinance was passed pursuant to the authority granted by Control Council Law Number 10, which set forth exactly who and what could be prosecuted and how the process was to occur (including that someone sentenced to death would be executed no later than 30 days after the “decision has become final”).[iii] It was in the American occupation zone that the second “series” of trials occurred in 1947 against the doctors who performed medical experiments on Jews, Poles, and other persons who were being held prisoner. These trials came to be known as the “Doctors Trials” or the “Medical Trials”. German scientists, some of them renowned in their fields, were tried as war criminals because of the experiments they had performed on behalf of the German High Command on unwilling victims.

    Some of the experiments named in the indictment against the German doctors were startlingly similar to those detailed previously in Chapter 1. For example, Count II of the indictment, entitled War Crimes, [specification] Number 6 alleges that

    Between September 1939 and April 1945 all of the defendants herein unlawfully, willfully, and knowingly committed war crimes, as defined by Article II of Control Council Law No. 10, in that they were principals in, accessories to, ordered, abetted, took a consenting part in, and were connected with plans and enterprises involving medical experiments without the subjects’ consent, upon civilians and members of the armed forces of nations then at war with the German Reich and who were in the custody of the German Reich in exercise of belligerent control.[iv]

    The indictment goes on to list a number of different experiments, the most similar to American experiments of which were the lost (mustard) gas experiments. These were “[c]onducted at Sachsenhausen, Natzweiler, and other concentration camps for the benefit of the German Armed Forces to investigate the most effective treatment of wounds caused by Lost gas. Lost is a poison gas which is commonly known as mustard gas.”[v] One of the most horrifying aspects of the experiments was the scientific precision, and simultaneously the complete disregard for the subjects’ humanity, with which they were carried out – as if they were being conducted on mice. Many of the experiments had obvious utility for all Armed Forces. The U.S. prosecutor acknowledged as much in his opening statement.

    A sort of rough pattern is apparent on the face of the indictment. Experiments concerning high altitude, the effect of cold, and the potability of processed sea water have an obvious relation to aeronautical and naval combat and rescue problems. The mustard gas and phosphorous burn experiments, as well as those relating to the healing value of sulfanilamide for wounds, can be related to air-raid and battlefield medical problems. It is well known that malaria, epidemic jaundice, and typhus were among the principal diseases which had to be combated by the German Armed Forces and by German authorities in occupied territories.

    To some degree, the therapeutic pattern outlined above is undoubtedly a valid one, and explains why the Wehrmacht, and especially the German Air Force, participated in these experiments. Fanatically bent upon conquest, utterly ruthless as to the means or instruments to be used in achieving victory, and callous to the sufferings of people whom they regarded as inferior, the German militarists were willing to gather whatever scientific fruit these experiments might yield.[vi]

    The high altitude tests were done to determine how high pilots would be able to fly; freezing tests on human subjects were done to learn how cold a person could get before dying, as well as what the best ways were to re-heat a freezing person. This had important implications for the Germans fighting on the brutally cold Russian front. Of more specific import for the anthrax vaccine herein discussed, the Germans also conducted a number of experiments involving chemical and biological warfare.

    The most basic mustard gas tests involved simply gassing subjects and measuring its effect upon them. The Germans operated with the complete permission and authority of both their government and the society generally; the subjects weren’t even German soldiers, but captured enemy civilians or belligerents, so some of the tests went a step further and wounded some prisoners first to determine the effect the gas would have upon a wound under battlefield conditions. While it is important to state that none of the experiments involving the U.S. Department of Defense (of which we are aware) involved this kind of treatment, the ‘baseline’ experiments conducted by the German doctors were identical to the U.S. Department of Defense’s ‘man break’ tests conducted in the late Forties and Fifties. In fact, the lawyers for several of the Nazi doctors argued at trial that the German experiments were identical to the experiments conducted by the U.S. and Britain using human subjects in the period between World Wars War and Two. Of course, as has already been shown, the U.S. experiments were conducted, in most cases, AFTER the Nuremberg Trials, and in secret, and on U.S. citizens.

                                                                                                                                                                                       

    During their trial, the Nazi doctors offered several legal defenses to their actions, chief among these was that the doctors had not known that anything they were doing was wrongful because the experiments (in some cases) were no different than ones which had been regularly carried out by the Americans and Germans prior to the War. In other words, the argument is essentially a combination of challenging the war crimes tribunal’s charges as ex post facto laws, as well as a challenge to the notion of being on ‘notice’ that one’s actions are prohibited. i.e. The doctors argued that there existed no agreed-upon international common law on the use of human beings as subjects. While the world might say now, after victory, that the German doctors’ actions were wrongful, there was no law in existence prior to their actions to let them know what they were doing was criminal. This is a fundamental tenet of criminal law generally: the necessary existence of some law making the act criminal before it is committed, in order to provide notice to the actor that such acts are forbidden. This isn’t merely a matter of legal theory; while the reasons aren’t given, four of the seven defendants charged with experiments involving lost gas were acquitted.

    Two doctors who worked with the U.S. prosecution team at Nuremberg, Drs. Andrew Ivy and Leo Alexander, were concerned with the defense arguments about there being no previous international statement or standard regarding the treatment of human subjects and their consent in medical experimentation. In April 1947, Dr. Alexander submitted a memorandum to the American Counsel of six points regarding medical experimentation on human subjects. The verdict against the doctors was returned on August 19, 1947. In the verdict, each of the six points was covered and expanded into ten points under a section entitled “Permissible Medical Experiments.” This came to be known as “The Nuremberg Code.” The Nuremberg Code’s first principle was that “the voluntary consent of the human subject is absolutely essential.” The principles of the Nuremberg Code were adopted by the U.S. Department of Defense in 1953 when the Secretaries of the Army, Navy, and Air Force all adopted a memorandum entitled “Use of Human Volunteers in Experimental Research.” The first principle was verbatim from the Nuremberg Code. In 1964, the World Medical Association in its “Helsinki Declaration” adopted the Nuremberg Code. Eventually, these principles were codified in U.S. law as Title 50, section 1520a, but this didn’t happen until 1977, two years after the famous Church Committee hearings on the CIA and DoD experiments herein discussed.

    There is, however, a seminal case from the Supreme Court called The Paquete Habana, which international law professors will say stands for the proposition that international law, in the form of treaties, executive agreements, and international norms and customs, are an essential part of U.S. domestic law.[vii] If that legal proposition is true, then the DoD’s experiments on its own soldiers without their informed consent was pushing up against the propositions that had been adopted in the aftermath of the Nuremberg Trials. It is certainly clear that by 1977, Congress thought something ‘wrongful’ had happened with the CIA’s MKULTRA program. At the opening of the hearings regarding the program, Senator Inouye, presiding, stated that “[i]t is also the purpose of this hearing to address the issues raised by any additional illegal or improper activities that have emerged from the files and to develop remedies to prevent such improper activities from occurring again.”[viii] Notice, however, what is conspicuously absent from that statement: any mention of holding people accountable for those putative violations of the law.

    Admiral Stansfield Turner, director of the CIA, also seemed to believe that something illegal had happened because he conspicuously noted that (a) he was cooperating with the Attorney General, and (b) reminded the committee that MKULTRA did not occur on his watch, but was a program of another director and that the events were some 12-24 years past at the time of the hearings. MKULTRA lasted from 1953 to 1964 and was conducted in concert with the Department of the Army.[ix]

    Interestingly, no one ever stated exactly what law they believed had been broken, nor what the penalty was for this crime. There was not then, and is not now, any federal criminal statute prohibiting a person or agency from conducting experiments on military members or ordinary citizens without their informed consent. Some members of the committees invoked the  then-newly passed that was the product of a 1975 initial inquiry into these matters, but it wasn’t a criminal statute – it simply mandated informed consent with no actual punishment or remedy listed for violations. Chapter 3 delves into judicial remedies  against a government agent or agency conducting such experiments. Technically, an unconsented medical procedure would constitute a battery or an assault consummated by a battery, but there is no federal “battery” statute; criminal law is almost entirely a matter for the states.

    This raises an uncomfortable moral/ethical/legal question: which is worse, the German doctors who operated (they claimed) out of a genuine ignorance that their actions were wrong – and historically speaking they have a fair case for it – or the DoD and its doctors who clearly knew that their actions were wrongful in light of the German doctors’ trials? Someone will undoubtedly want to take me to task for comparing the CIA’s or DoD’s doctors to the Nazi doctors of World War II, however, either the principles of the Nuremberg Code are the standards of the medical profession or they are not – they cannot be called principles if they can be bent to the will of the doctor performing the particular tests, or justified and waived away after-the-fact with vague references to ‘national survival’ because short of the Revolution or the War of 1812, the U.S. has never faced the kind of military pressure against the homeland as Germany did in WW2.

    The first principle enunciated in the Nuremberg Code is that “the informed consent of the subject is absolutely essential.” There is nothing equivocal about that statement. It does not say, for example, that “the informed consent of the subject is somewhat or mostly essential.” Nor does it manifest any limitation to only Nazi doctors or doctors of defeated Axis powers. As one author has noted, “[t]here is no exception for soldiers or for wartime.”[x] Which all goes to this simple point: there is no “greater good” exception or argument against the principle, because that is exactly what the Nazi doctors said they were doing.

    Sidney Gottleib’s statement that it was considered a matter of ‘national survival’ has two dangerous flaws in it, one obvious, the other insidious. The first, obvious flaw is that it is exactly the same argument that the U.S. and other Allied powers forbade as a defense in Control Council Law Number 10. The Wehrmacht doctors certainly performed a number of experiments whose results had only one possible practical application and that was in the war effort in which they were engaged. In fact, the German doctors, involved as their country was in a losing battle against foreign powers with bombs dropping on them daily, probably had a much better claim to Gottleib’s “national survival” argument than the CIA or DoD had in the continental United States post World War II with the U.S. as one of the world’s only two (nuclear) superpowers.

    More insidious, and hidden in Gottleib’s argument, however, is a claim of moral superiority. Gottleib’s argument allows that either he, or someone else on behalf of the state, can take away the subject’s right to decide the most fundamental question of humanity: the right to live. It is an objectification of the person – the person as tool of the State. As was pointed out by Supreme Court Justice William Brennan’s dissent in the Stanley case, quoting a law review article,

    [Human experimentation authorized by the state] dramatizes the notion that the state is free to treat its nationals in the manner it chooses because it perceives itself as the source of all rights, and therefore as beyond the reach of law, rather than regarding rights as inalienable, that is, not subject to arbitrary cancellation by the State.[xi]

    This is more insidious because it sounds academic and benign, perhaps even agreeable, because, after all, doesn’t each of us owe our way of life to the state? This simple, yet bankrupt, logic, and consequent objectification of human beings can easily be turned on particular groups and yields exactly the kind of thinking that helped create the Holocaust in the first instance. I do not want to oversimplify a tragedy on the scale of the Holocaust into one short sentence; it doesn’t do it justice nor does it take into account the myriad other factors in involving anti-Semitism in Europe that help account for what happened in Europe from 1933 to 1945. It is, however, critical to recognize arguments like Gottleib’s “national survival” and follow them to their logical conclusion, otherwise tragedies like the Holocaust get put aside as historical anomalies and when programs like MKULTRA, the Tuskegee experiments, and yes, even the current DoD anthrax program are announced, apologists differentiate them because, clearly, WE are not in any way morally comparable to the (gasp!) Nazi doctors… even when government actors are violating the exact same principle in the same way.

    It may be that our government agents do not use specifically identical means that the Nazi doctors did: that is, brute force at the point of a gun. Instead, however, the CIA doctors in the MKULTRA program and the DoD doctors in the mustard and lewisite gas tests, or the Atomic Energy Commission in its radiation tests on soldiers, used deception or trickery, additionally backed by the very credible threat of future punishment (court-martial), in order to silence those who might bring their actions to light. In normal criminal trials, attempting to hide conduct is frequently admissible as “consciousness of guilt” – that is, evidence that the actor was aware of the wrongfulness of their actions. Worse than Gottleib’s public justification, however, is that in some cases, government actors consciously change history or the law: destroy documents, close test sites, classify evidence they don’t want to become public, and then offer some higher moral calling as justification – the threat of an invisible enemy, international terrorism, the ticking time bomb, etc. The end result is that these excuses either gain public acceptance, or create a sense of public indifference, to the rights of their fellow citizens.

    Lest there be any question about whether this line of reasoning was ever explored by the Army or CIA doctors at the time, internal documents that were accidentally discovered because they were mis-filed and did not get destroyed like the rest of the more direct source documents became public and put a finer point on it. In 1977 hearings in front of the Senate, internal CIA documents revealed that the CIA believed that it must “conceal these activities from the American public in general,” because public knowledge of the “unethical and illicit activities would have serious repercussions in political and diplomatic circles and would be detrimental to the accomplishment of its mission.”[xii]

    In a 1959 Staff Study, the United States Army Intelligence Corps (USAINTC) even more candidly explained its justification for abandoning the principles of the Nuremberg Code.

    It was always a tenet of Army Intelligence that the basic American principle of dignity and welfare of the individual will not be violated . . . In intelligence, the stakes involved and the interests of national security may permit a more tolerant interpretation of moral-ethical values, but not legal limits, through necessity . . . Any claim against the US Government for alleged injury due to EA 1729 [LSD] must be legally shown to have been due to the material. Proper security and appropriate operational techniques can protect the fact of employment of EA 1729.[xiii]

    That is to say, legal liability could be avoided by covering up the LSD experiments. If no one could prove they had been given the drug, no one on the administering side would ever have to pay the consequences for their actions.

    Putting aside the moral reprehensibility of this position, the issue of the legality of the DoD’s tests is beyond cavil: the experiments violated a slew of laws. They certainly violated the spirit and letter of the Nuremberg Code. They violated any number of state criminal battery or assault statutes: an unconsented drug in one’s drink is a battery. By common law, the person administering such a treatment would be criminally liable for whatever happened to the person taking the drug.[1] These batteries would also be actionable in a tort suit for damages were the doctors in private practice. They violated the “common rule” and accepted standards of medical practice. They violated the civil rights of U.S. citizens, yet no one was ever prosecuted for these (and other) acts; no government agent or agency was ever forced to pay a service member a dime by any court for the harms done to them. The explanation as to why is a sobering bit of legal legerdemain.

                                                                                                                                                                                       

    [1] “During the Rockefeller Commission and Church Committee investigations in 1975, the cryptonym [MKULTRA] became publicly known when details of the drug-related death of Dr. Frank Olsen were publicized. In 1953 Dr. Olsen, a civilian employee of the Army at Fort Dietrick, leaped to his death from a hotel room window in New York City about a week after having unwittingly consumed LSD administered to him as an experiment at a meeting of LSD researchers called by CIA.”  Prepared statement of Adm. Stansfield Turner, Director of the CIA, before a Senate Committee, August 3, 1977.

    [i] U.S. v. Manuel, 43 M.J. 282, 286 (C.A.A.F. 1995)(citations omitted).

    [ii] Trials of War Criminals before the Nuremberg Military Tribunals under Control Council Law No. 10., Nuremberg, October 1946–April 1949. Washington, D.C.: U.S. G.P.O, 1949–1953.

    [iii] Control Council Law No. 10, Dec. 20, 1945.

    [iv] From the indictment, U.S. v . Brandt, et al. (The Medical Case), 2 Trials of War Criminals Before the Nuremberg Military Tribunals Under Control Council Law No. 10, (1949).

    [v] Id.

    [vi] U.S. v . Brandt, et al. (The Medical Case), 2 Trials of War Criminals Before the Nuremberg Military Tribunals Under Control Council Law No. 10, p. 37 (1949).

    [vii] The Paquete Habana, 175 U.S. 677 (1900).

    [viii] Project MKULTRA:  The CIA’s Program of Research in Behavioral Modification, Hearings Before the Senate Committee on Intelligence and the Subcommittee on Health and Scientific Research of the Committee on Health and Human Resources, p. 2, August 3, 1977.

    [ix] Id. at pp. 9-14.

    [x] G.J. Annas, Changing the Consent Rules for Desert Storm, 326 New Eng. J. Med. 770 (1992).

    [xi] Bassiouni, Baffes, & Evrard, An Appraisal of Human Experimentation in International Law and Practice: The Need for International Regulation of Human Experimentation, 72 J. of Crim. L. & C. 1597, 1607 (1981).

    [xii] S. Rep. No. 94-755, Book I, p. 385 (1976)(quoting CIA Inspector General’s Survey of the Technical Services Division, p. 217 (1957)).

    [xiii] Id., at 416-417 (emphasis added)(quoting USAINTC Staff Study, Material Testing Program EA 1729, p. 26 (Oct. 15, 1959)).

     

     

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  • Q’s Brain Toilet: Cinco de Q

    Come one, come all! Q’s traveling circus of insanity has returned to town!  See the Bearded Lady, the Human Pretzel and the world famous Flying Shitlords on the trapeze!  And now, in the center ring, the show is about to begin!

    The Deep State and Faux Accomplishment

    We often discuss the rampant and obsessive credentialism that flourishes in the permanent bureaucracy of the FedGov.  This seems to go incestuously hand-in-hand with a handful of expensive and prestigious (emphasis on expensive) educational institutions.  Entering “the civil service” has largely been considered by popular culture as a way for a skilled individual to work for the good of society rather than power and money.  As the FedGov has grown ever more bloated and infiltrated more and more of our lives, this theory has become laughable.

    The permanent bureaucracy cultivates and maintains a self-licking ice cream cone of masturbatory influence peddling amongst the chosen ones who inhabit it.  It is a pathway to great power and wealth to mediocre individuals that would otherwise be unavailable.  You see, what it takes to make it into the private club is a secret handshake consisting of the “right” credentials, the “right” connections, the “right” familial relations or some combination thereof.  To be a captain of industry, or a famous scientist or author, or a wealthy entrepreneur etc. requires real talent and tons of hard work.  Entering the permanent bureaucracy and getting gifted some minor Administration position or managerial post in an agency is a back door to the same type of “respectability” and “prestige” as any of the aforementioned accomplishments.  The fact that people with no other qualifications other than “former White House adviser” sit on boards of directors of large companies or gain endowed professorships at universities is evidence enough of that.

    I believe that a mildly competent mid-level professional is, on average, eminently more qualified for various leadership positions than even a high-level Swamp Creature; to say nothing about truly exceptional individuals occupying the heights of industry, business and applied research.  Looking from this angle, it’s evident why getting a cherry position in the Deep State is so appealing to those whose ambitions are several sizes larger than their talents.

    Male Sexual Ego, Uniqueness and the Will to Power

    The generative act is treated by many religions and philosophies as a divine act; in essence, this draws an analogue between reproduction and the act of capital-C Creation.  It’s really not all that far fetched considering that it is an ecstatic outpouring of energy resulting in a mysterious process that creates new and independent life.  A more cynical person might even say that creation myths were written ex post facto to align with human sexuality and orgasm.  However, I digress…

    Especially in Eastern religious tradition (but present in Western too) is the view that males and females channel inner god-like energy during sexual congress.  I don’t believe this is the full story, however.  Females may, in fact, channel the divine feminine during intercourse, but the true god-like aspect of the reproductive act comes later during gestation and parturition.  For the male, however, his only involvement and feeling of being akin to G-d is during the sex act itself.  This is partially why, contrary to pop culture belief, men care a great deal about getting a woman to orgasm; it’s proof of their divine abilities.

    To that end, I posit that there is nothing more horrifying to a man than the idea that he has a sexual doppelgänger.  A man can deal with the idea that the woman he’s having sex with may have had a man in past who is overall subjectively “better”.  This is almost always offset by the fact that in particular areas, he himself was deemed “better”; ie: even though man X had a smaller penis than man Y, man X was better at oral, etc.  And this is down to the judgement of the particular woman.  The principal thing here is that the man retains his uniqueness when it comes to his divine power.

    Imagine now a scenario in which man X and man Y are utterly indistinguishable.  There is no objective difference at all between how each of them have sex.  All of a sudden, they are no longer distinct beings at the most fundamental level.  Milan Kundera said (and I’m paraphrasing) that only through having sex with someone can we pierce the veil of the superficial and see their true nature.  Given that, regardless of their other qualities, man X and Y are identical, non-unique and, therefore, useless and soulless.  Looking at it this way, it makes sense why men are: 1) obsessed with sex, 2) obsessed with distinguishing themselves to their lovers and 3) very goal-oriented sexually.

    My Favorite Rare and Exotic Diseases (in no particular order)

    Fibrodysplasia Ossificans Progressiva“an extremely rare connective tissue disease. It is a severe, disabling disease with no cure or treatment and is the only known medical condition where one organ system changes into another[…]The disease is caused by a mutation of the body’s repair mechanism, which causes fibrous tissue (including muscle, tendon, and ligament) to be ossified spontaneously or when damaged. In many cases, otherwise minor injuries can cause joints to become permanently frozen in place, as new bone forms and replaces the damaged muscle tissue.”

    Fatal Familial Insomnia“It is a prion disease of the brain[…]Fatal insomnia has no known cure and involves progressively worsening insomnia, which leads to hallucinations, delirium, confusional states like that of dementia, and eventually death. The average survival time from onset of symptoms is 18 months.”

    Xeroderma pigmentosum“is a genetic disorder (autosomal recessive) in which there is a decreased ability to repair DNA damage such as that caused by ultraviolet (UV) light[…]There is no cure for XP.  Treatment involves completely avoiding the sun.”

    Primary Amoebic MeningoencephalitisN. fowleri invades the central nervous system via the nose, specifically through the olfactory mucosa of the nasal tissues. This usually occurs as the result of the introduction of water that has been contaminated with N. fowleri into the nose during activities such as swimming, bathing, or nasal irrigation[…]Although infection occurs very rarely, it nearly always results in death, with a case fatality rate greater than 95%.”

    Nodding Syndrome “Nodding disease is a disease which emerged in Sudan in the 1960s[…]Children affected by nodding disease experience a complete and permanent stunting of growth. The growth of the brain is also stunted, leading to mental handicap. The disease is named for the characteristic, pathological nodding seizure, which often begins when the children begin to eat, or sometimes when they feel cold. These seizures are brief and halt after the children stop eating or when they feel warm again. Seizures in nodding disease span a wide range of severity. Neurotoxicologist Peter Spencer, who has investigated the disease, has stated that upon presentation with food, ‘one or two [children] will start nodding very rapidly in a continuous, pendulous nod. A nearby child may suddenly go into a tonic–clonic seizure, while others will freeze.’”

    That wraps up yet another edition of Q’s Brain Toilet, while it may not be as horrific as SF’s posts, as interesting as Animal’s, as informative as MS’s, as whimsical as Banjo’s, as creative as CPRM’s, as useful as SP’s or as anti-Semitic as OMWC’s, it certainly exists!  G-d bless Glibertarians and G-d bless America!

    …and maybe Canada every once in a while too.

  • This [REDACTED] is [REDACTED] as [REDACTED]

    THIS TRANSMISSION IS CLASSIFFIED;

    THAT MEANS IF THIS IS LEAKED, BAD THINGS HAPPEN;

    STOP LEAKING, ITS DANGEROUS IF THE PUBLIC FINDS OUT WHAT GOES ON IN THE WAR ROOM

    STOP LEAKING, DAMN YOU!!

    THIS TRANSMISSION IS CLASSIFIED

    Location:  US State Department, Henry Kissinger Conference Room

    “I know, I do, I P.  Me, Mike P on Iran.  That which is he, who is me.  You all got that?”  Secretary Pompeo declared.  “Iran is going to get a big steaming load of hot ass all over their Mohammadean chests, when I am done with them!”

    “This has nothing to do with Iran.  Just because we called in the Joint Chiefs, doesn’t mean we are asking you to create a war, Mr. Secretary.”  Acting SecDef Patrick Shannahan replied.  “Certainly not one with Iran.”

    “But I want to take a big shit on Iran!”  Pompeo sat down on the floor with his arms crossed.

    “That’s not why we’re here.”

    “This isn’t fair.  I want to shit on Iran.  I was promised I can go to war with Iran if I took this shit job, and damnit  I wanna war with Iran!”

    The room fell silent enough to hear the collective eye rolls from the Joint Chiefs, and Bolton’s mustache furiously fapping upon a unlit cigarette.

    “We need to brief the President on…another issue that has been making the rounds in the media.”  Shannahan explained. “Has anybody ever informed you of the DOD’s work with UFO’s?”

    “Unidentified Flying Iranian-Objects?”

    “It has nothing to do with Iran.”

    “Uhhh-ranian Flying Objects?”

    “IT HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH IRAN.”

    “Look, it’s close enough for government work.  Let’s begin before I need another cigarette.”  A fat, awkward looking man said behind the SecDef.  He appeared to be sloppily dressed in a cheap suit and smelled of sweat, used prophylaxes, American Spirit Menthols, and possibly yellow curry.  “I don’t have a ton of time but if this shitweasel has the President’s ear then my job is done once I pass him the ball.”

    “This is Special Secret Agent Snuffy.”  Shannahann began.  “He has been tracking these anomalies since 1968.”

    “Does he work for Iran?”  Pompeo asked.

    “I don’t work for Iran.”  The fat man replied.

    “I don’t believe you.  What Iranian agency do you work for?”

    “I worked with the Shah, briefly in the 70’s, but that is irrelevant.”

    “I KNEW IT!”

    “Listen you shitweasel, SPACE SMITH has been sighted by Naval Aviators during the previous administration.  SPACE SMITH is out to rape you and the rest of the planet.”

    “Does SPACE SMITH work for Iran?”

    “No.  It’s an ancient spiritual being that transcends time and space, jumping between planetary systems after it achieves it’s objectives:  raping the planet.”

    “Does Iran possess this technology to transcend time and space?”

    “No, Iran is going to get fucked too.”

    “YES LETS FUCK IRAN”

    “Focus, you asshole.  SPACE SMITH =/= Iran.”

    “Exactly…focus…Iran…asshole…SPACE SMITH…rape Iran.  What else do I need to brief to the President?”

    “Navy and Air Force pilots have come in contact with SPACE SMITH.  Some of them have gone public, and some of the media outlets are reporting it, and not just the crackpot outlets.  They identified it moves at hypersonic speeds, and in a manner that exceeds human abilities.  We don’t think we can talk it down, but a plan does exist in the event it must scratch its quantum itch.”

    “Can Iran move at hypersonic speeds?”

    “No.”

    “Can we use this against Iran?”

    “Not really, not without getting raped ourselves.”

    “But Iran is behind SPACE SMITH.”

    “Technically its the other way around.”

    “Okay I think I have this now.  Air Force and Navy pilots have identified a new Iranian super-weapon, this ‘SPACE SMITH.’  This is why sanctions are not enough in dealing with the radical Islamic Iranian regime….”

    “Can I slap him?”

    “Mathis struck him last year.” Shannahan responded. “Pompeo accused him of being an Iranian plant.  Took a dozen men to remove Mathis dragging his balls across his face after he knocked him out.”

    “The Iranian’s sent Mathis to take me out and Tea Bag me!”

    “Jesus.”  The yellow curry scented man said.

    “What is the connection between Jesus, and Iran?”  Pompeo asked.

    “We tried.  Hopefully he tells the President.”

     

    “With the aid of their new super-weapon SPACE SMITH RAPED JESUS!  Iran converted JESUS against AMERICA, and will turn this weapon against the American people, unless we act now…..”

     

    THIS TRANSMISSION IS CLASSIFFIED;

    THAT MEANS IF THIS IS LEAKED, BAD THINGS HAPPEN;

    STOP LEAKING, ITS DANGEROUS IF THE PUBLIC FINDS OUT WHAT GOES ON IN THE WAR ROOM

    STOP LEAKING, DAMN YOU!!

    THIS TRANSMISSION IS CLASSIFIED

     

     

     

  • Spygate: A Summary of Events

     

     

    Spygate can make your head swim if you get too far into the weeds for those with an intense interest let alone a passing one.  Hopefully, providing a simple summary will help clarify the conspiracy especially with the pending declassification of many documents related to the Russian collusion hoax and the release of Inspector General Horowitz’s report on FISA abuse.

    Spygate has been covered by a few mainstream journalists such as John Solomon and Sara Carter, covered extensively by Dan Bongino (former secret service agent and current pundit and Fox News contributor) who has written a book on the subject with another follow-up book set to be released in October, and covered by various open source citizen journalists some of which are anonymous.  Although some of the conspiracy has been exposed by inside sources, what’s incredible is how much has been exposed by open source journalism.

     

    A summary of the theorized events:

    • The NSA database was searched for political purposes by private contractors (one of which is theorized to be Fusion GPS).  Mike Rogers (former director of the NSA) discovers the illegal use of the database and shuts it down.  Ten days after the election Rogers visits Trump and warns Trump of the spying, the next day Trump evacuates Trump Tower and calls come out for Rogers to be fired.
    • After getting shutdown, Obama’s admin switches over to other means of spying via the abuse of the FISA courts based off of a political opposition research dossier written by Christopher Steele (a former MI6 spy) which was funded by Fusion GPS (headed by Glenn Simpson) who was hired by the law firm Perkins Coie hired by Hillary Clinton’s campaign.  Remarkably, Steele’s Dossier has a hell of a lot of similarities to an article written by Glenn Simpson back in 2007.  Steele leaks his own dossier to the media, the media articles are then used by the FBI to corroborate the information in Steele’s dossier to obtain the FISA warrants on Carter Page (a former foreign-policy adviser to Trump who was never charged with a crime).  It is also believed that other FISA warrants existed targeting others including Paul Manafort, Michael Flynn, and George Papadopolous.
    • Speaking of George Papadopolous, the FBI’s official story is that Crossfire Hurricane (the official name of the FBI’s investigation into Trump’s campaign) was allegedly started when: Alexander Downer (a former Australian diplomat) claimed that George Papadopolous (a former foreign policy adviser for Trump’s 2016 campaign), while drunk at a bar, told him that Joseph Mifsud (a Maltese academic with allegedly high level connections to Russia) told Papadopolous Russia has dirt on Hillary in the form of thousands of her hacked emails.  Papadopolous claims he was not drunk and had one drink and he never mentioned anything about his meeting with Mifsud and the information given to him regarding Russia and Hillary’s emails.
    • Papadopolous was setup.  Mifsud worked for western intelligence, had no Russian connections, and the meetings with both him and Downer were orchestrated.  Mifsud had Papadopolous meet with a woman that he claimed was Putin’s niece.  Needless to say, she was not Putin’s niece.  While in Israel, Papadopolous is offered $10,000 in US cash by Charles Tawil (an Israeli American businessman).  He thought the incident was bizarre and proceeds to leave the $10,000 with his lawyer in Greece before returning back to the US.  On return, he was stopped at the airport and is detained and searched.  He is then arrested without a warrant, an indictment or criminal complaint.  Coincidentally, you are required by law to declare that you have more than $10,000 in cash on you when you enter the US.  Almost as if they searched him for the money, did not find it and then scrambled and arrested him and threw charges together after the fact.  Papadopolous was ultimately charged with a process crime for lying to the FBI and was sentenced to 14 days in jail.  He claims his charges are related to misremembering the date he spoke to Mifsud.
    • FBI director James Comey was fired by Trump after Trump’s frustration of being told privately by Comey that he was not under investigation and refusing to tell the public.  Which led to the hiring of former FBI director Bob Mueller by former deputy attorney general Rod Rosenstein as special counsel to investigate the matter.  Mueller proceeded to investigate Trump and Russian interference for two years knowing full well that Russian collusion was a hoax and did not inform the public until after the Midterm election when his investigation concluded.
    • The Mueller investigation was a cover-up, an attempt to find anything on Trump, coordinate leaks with the media to turn the public against him, pressure him to “obstruct justice” or claim he did with weak allegations in order to setup an impeachment all in order to cover-up the Obama Admin’s and intelligence community’s malfeasance and massive abuse of power.  His report is already being proven to have been written in a way that paints Trump in as negative light as possible.

     

    There is much I left out to try to simplify the events as best as I could.  If you are interested in more details here are two videos one by Dan Bongino from last November and one recently from Tracy Diaz who do a fantastic summary of events.

    Hold on to your seats.  The next few months are going to be completely insane if the full story comes to light.

  • Crackpot Corner: The STEVE SMITH Conspiracy?

    Dobbshead!

    Have you ever noticed that STEVE SMITH doesn’t like to talk about the Yeti?  There must be something there, something that he doesn’t want us looking into.

    Well, what race of humans are descended from the Yeti?  Of course, the Yetisyn, also known as the Subgenii.  But why, WHY would our local cryptids want to keep us away from the slackful?  Is it just because of the high infiltration of douchebags since the fires of the ’70 burned out?  Or is it something darker… pinker… could STEVE SMITH be a member of The Conspiracy?  Could he be shaping the Glibertarians to use as a weapon to drive away the X-ists and snuff out the word of “Bob?”

    Obviously, there is a connection, STEVE SMITH admits he’s a blood relation.  But did you notice which members of the commentariat didn’t pass through the fires of the Englibbening?  That’s right — the (Stark) Fist of Etiquette and Agile Cyborg (who obviously drank deeply of the vaginal fluids of Connie Dobbs).

    So, was STEVE SMITH purifying his church?

    Or are we the baddies?

  • A Chronicle of the Insurgency, Part Four: Quid Pro Quo

     

    “This is Lisa Fletcher reporting from Capitol Hill where there have been reports of sewer explosions and of giant sewer rats emerging from toilets. DC Water and Sewer Authority is on the scene, and here we see a DC Fire and EMS ambulance leaving leaving the Dirksen Senate Office Building. We don’t know who or to where because of patient privacy laws, but we have reason to believe it isn’t life threatening.”

    “Thanks, Lisa, and now to a live press conference at City Hall with Mayor Bowser and DC Water and Sewer Authority director Gadis.”

    §

    The staff at Le Diplomate were shocked when their normally-punctual senator didn’t show for her standing Friday evening reservation. The hostess then somehow managed to mention that to Mr. and Mrs. EJ Dionne of The Washington Post as she was seating them. On Monday a messenger brought her two orchestra-level Orange Section seats to the matinee performance of “Avenue Q” at The Kennedy Center.

    §

    Imelda Ramos checked the calendar for the days appointments. “Senator K” was written in big letters for the 9:30 slot. She always took care of the senator herself, as much for the prestige as to avoid the complaints from the girls. She made sure Maria the cleanup girl parked in the spot just outside the front door so she could move when the senator arrived. Hopefully the senator was having a good day. If it were anyone else, Imelda would have fired her as a customer, but in DC a senator was a rare prize and having her as a regular drove up business.

    Nine twenty arrived and Imelda sent Maria out to wait in her car. The senator was usually punctual, and always had someone call if she were delayed or had to reschedule. Nine forty-five came and went. At eleven she waved Maria back inside. When Judy Woodruff came in, Imelda mentioned that the senator was no-show today and how unlike her that was.

    “Your daughter is in college, right? Have her call my office about an internship.

    §

    Jayne Sandman’s Saturday evening soiree was as full of awkward groping as a teen party with no parents. Those who had heard the rumor were trying to make sure everyone else knew that they were in the know. Yet, nobody wanted to be the first to just blurt it out like a yokel from Manassas or Frederick. Many hints were dropped about a probable forthcoming announcement from a Senator from flyover country.

    §

    On Sunday morning the Tim Russert Memorial TV Studio at the National Press Building was abuzz with rumors that Amy Klobuchar was missing. Tasha the makeup artist whispered that to Kamala Harris while she was getting her ready for her appearance on “Meet the Press.” Fortunately she had time to text her campaign manager. “AmyK disappeared from DC. Suspect she’s holed up with declaration imminent. Be ready.”

    “You know, I’ve always wanted to go on a campaign tour as like someone’s personal makeup and hair girl.”

     

    Awkwardly, sometimes painfully...
    Credit: Mythical Libertarian Woman

     

    He hadn’t heard her come in. It had been two nights and he’d been baching it. He’d assumed that she’d been holed up in her ratty little apartment on Capitol Hill; her own fortress of solitude. He rustled the law student’s paper ostentatiously. Nothing. One of The Iron Rules was: No papers, bills or briefs (ha, ha) in bed. She must want something very badly, and there were few things for which she needed his participation or assent. He decided to troll harder.

    “Jenkins in my Con Law class argues that the Second means an individual right to keep and bear arms.” That should get her going.

    “Oh,” she responded, shrugging off her satin peignoir to reveal a sheer babydoll nightie with nothing on underneath. “I’ll bare more than that…”

    She was going to run for president, he thought. Because it wasn’t his birthday where he got a “blowjob” which was really just her taking his cockhead into her mouth for five seconds of unconvincing moaning, then giving him a handy; their anniversary where they had perfunctory sex recreating their wedding night; or Valentine’s Day where they awkwardly and often painfully enacted the trendy eroticism of the moment, as defined by Cosmopolitan and Teen Vogue.

    She let the peignoir drop do the floor and simultaneously crouched down and hiked up the babydoll to place first her left knee on the bed, then her right. Her pendulous, teardrop shaped breasts swayed in rhythm with her movement as she crawled towards him on her hands and knees. She had a predatory look in her eyes which he had never seen before. Her eyes were fixed upon his crotch.

    By now she had reached him and stopped. She was on all fours with her shoulders lowered and her head tilted up to look him in the eye. She licked her lips awkwardly yet greedily.

    “Who are you,” he asked, reflexively drawing up his knees to protect his manhood.

    “I am your wife.”

    He woke up the next morning with her tightly snuggled in as the little spoon. Usually she was on her side of the bed like a sarcophagal statue of a Roman matron in repose.

    Her eyes opened and blinked and her tongue darted out. “Good morning, Dear. Shall I make breakfast?” Without waiting for an answer she slithered off the bed and put on the peignoir and headed downstairs.

    Breakfast was coffee, bagels and lox. She sipped at a single cup of black coffee, picked at a bagel, but devoured the fish. He decided to try his luck and groped her from behind when she was bent over the sink, something she hated. Surprisingly, nothing was thrown or stabbed.

    “You really should go to the cabin, you know…”

    “What? Are you displeased with me?”

    “No, but I know you’re planning to announce and you need to be ‘found’ back in Minnesota so you can credibly claim to have been on retreat. Doris will see you and then call Ollie who will call the press and get his fifteen minutes as ‘Rural Sheriff Finds Missing Senator.’ I’ll wrap up here and fly out to meet you.”

    “You are the best, hon.”

  • SPACE SMITH: Revolt

    THIS TRANSMISSION IS CLASSIFIED

    SOME OF YOU NEED THIS SPELLED OUT FOR YOU, SINCE ALL OF THESE SOMEHOW WIND UP ON CNN.  THIS IS CLASSIFIED.  THAT MEANS YOU DO NOT GET TO TALK ABOUT IT.  DO NOT TELL THE SENATE ARMED SERVICES COMMITTEE, DO NOT COPY/PASTA TO AN EMAIL AND SEND IT TO YOUR SPOUSE OR PARTNER.  DO NOT TELL SOMEBODY AT POLITICO SO YOU CAN BE INTERVIEWED ON FAREED ZAKARIA’S SHOW NEXT WEEKEND.  DO NOT TALK ABOUT THIS TRANSMISSION.  CAPICE?

    ONCE AGAIN, THIS TRANSMISSION IS CLASSIFIED.

     

    Location:  SpaceX corporate headquarters. Hawthorne, CA.  

    “My diabolical plan to set up a Martian sugar beet colony is going exactly as planned.  Soon the world, my world, will be flooded with my sugar beets.  They will all be stuck on a lifeless desert planet, with nothing to sustain themselves but my sugar beets.”  Elon said.

    ”Sir, who are you talking to?”  The hispter in the next cubicle asked.

    ”I’m not talking to anybody.”  Elon replied.

    ”You were just talking to somebody.”

    ”No I wasn’t.  Thats not funny, hahaha.”  Elon’s real but fake laugh made everyone in the office uneasy.  “Maybe its a little funny.  Don’t you have some kind of project to be working on?  I’m paying you for something?”

    ”I’m still working on that 3D rendering of a sandwich you want me to order tomorrow.  Turkey and avacado on sourdough.”  The hipster answered.

    ”Order?  You’re making me the sandwich.  I better see that rendering by lunch today.  I’m still dissapointed the crepes this morning looked nothing like the rendering I approved last week.  Try harder.”

    ”Yes Mr. Musk.”

    ”Hey, call me Elon… Bitch.”

    ”What did you say?”

    ”He called you a bitch.”  A groutesque man in a cheap suit appeared from behind the hipster’s cubicle.  He smelled of Unfiltered Camels, incense, sweat, and a dead house cat.  He sat there inhaling the cigarette from behind a baggy, leather-like set of thin lips.

    “Who invitied this guy?  You can’t smoke in here.”  Elon said.

    ”Of course I can.  Who are you to tell me I can’t smoke in here?”

    ”I own the building…and the big rocket outside.”

    “Hard to believe that, given you work in a cubicle.“

    Elon was not amused.

    ”Fine.  Hold out your hand, Bitch.”  The hispter did as he was told.  The chunky titted man put out his cigarette on the hipsters hand,  pressing and twisting the Camel firmly into his palm.

    ”I guess I can dispose of this outside….”  He hurried away.  “I need an ice pack!”

    The man sat there, adjusting himself.

    ”I think I’m going to have security escort you off my property.”  Elon picked up the phone, and set it down when he found the phone was dead.

    ”No security, I paid them off.  Put them on 8 hour shifts instead of 12, and it might help if you feed them meat every once in a while.  Seriously, it should take more than a Baconator.”  He lit up another cigarette.  “Let me ask you a question, do you know what happened to the Opportunity Rover?”

    ”Opportunity?  It was (((you know)))…I know they’re behind it…somehow…”

    “No, not this time.  I’m surprised you didn’t see it.  It happened near your sugar beet fields.”

    ”How do you know about my sugar beets!?”

    ”Hey genius, my agency subsidized them.  We paid for your secret sugar beets.  Now we need you to return the favor.”  He took a long, orgasmic drag of the cigarette and blew it in Musk’s face.  “The Opportunity Rover did not just go offline because its service life is up.  It was raped by SPACE SMITH.  We even got a fuzzy photo before it was crushed.  Your field may be next, but he’s never raped vegetables.  At least not yet.”

    Musk tried to call security on his iPhone.

    ”That won’t work either, we already took it through the backdoor.  Much like that Soviet probe. SPACE SMITH has been tossing its salad since the 70’s.”  He adjusted himself again.  “SPACE SMITH is just one of many SMITHS here on Earth.  They’re behind something of a revolt.  You will help us cover it up.”

    ”You are telling me what to do?”

    “We need a fall guy.  You’re going to be it.”

    ”Excuse me?”

    ”We just need a guy interesting enough to take the attention away from a small roving gang of crypto-rapists.  The media just focuses on you.  No big deal really, other than you losing a shitload of money.  You’ll pay a few fines, we’ll short your companies, the proceeds of which will be used to pay off the cryptids, for the time being.  Its all in the contract you signed when you became a defense contractor.”

    ”No it isn’t.  I paid a lot of (((lawyers))) to read it for me.”

    ”I’m sorry, it’s called the fuck you that’s why clause.  Its not really written in the contract, but you’re going to do it anyway.”

    ”How can you make me do it?  I’m one of the most powerful men on Earth…and Mars.”

    ”Well…we already hacked your iPhone.  You just put out a tweet that will be interpreted by the Russian media as you being an anti-semite.”

    ”What?”  Elon looked on his iPhone.  “No!”

     

    ”There’s also a small matter involving the SEC.”

     

    ”Tesla shareholders are going to panic sell.”

     

    ”By the way, you just lost your security clearance.”

    ”You’re trying to ruin me!”  Elon shouted.  “Why?”

    The sweaty man took a final drag of his cigarette.

    ”Because fuck you, that’s why.”

  • The Art of Misdirection

    A Chronicle of the Insurgency, Part 3:

    The Art of Misdirection

    by Tonio

     

    A big unit.

    “How long,” asked Bryan, her chief of staff.

    Phillips, the Capitol Police inspector, checked his watch. “Their average response time for us is around four minutes. They always have units staged nearby.”

    Tsimpris, the man from the Architect of the Capitol office, checked his phone. “Sunshine just turned onto Constitution. They have this really neat location track…”

    There was an awkward pause and the three men looked again toward the corpse seated on the toilet as if they expected some change. Nobody wanted to look, but it somehow seemed disrespectful to not look.

    The corpse that had until recently been US Senator Amy Klubuchar had settled backward with the spine against the seat lid. The head had rolled forward and the mouth was slightly agape with the lower jaw and lip sagging, the tongue poking out slightly. The eye sockets were empty and a yellowish pink fluid dripped from the nose. The personal bathroom, outfitted like that in a business hotel room, was dripping with the sewage that had erupted from many toilets in and around the US Capitol.

    “What about evidence collection? We have to find out who did this! What if other senators are in danger? Or members of the House? Or the staff and public?”

    Phillips checked his phone perfunctorily. “Everything is under control. We are doing a wellness check on every senator and member. The morgue people will collect everything they need from the body. We are taking measures, but quietly so as not to cause a panic.”

    “What am I going to tell her husband?”

    Phillips’ phone buzzed. “The ambulance is coming through the gate now.”

    There was another long, awkward silence, followed by a tap on the door. Phillips cracked the door open and looked out, then nodded to someone outside. A man and a woman in DC FEMS uniforms rolled in a stretcher.

    “Do you need to say goodbye,” asked Phillips.

    Bryan turned to look at the corpse. “You were cruel, but I’m sorry to see you like this. Goodbye.”

    At the word “goodbye” Phillips jammed an injector pen into the side of Bryan’s neck, then expertly broke his fall as he went slack. The DC FEMS crew sprung into action and quickly loaded the semi-conscious body onto the stretcher, strapping it down securely. Phillips patted Bryan’s cheek roughly. “Pleasant dreams, asshole. Enjoy your stay at Saint E’s.” He nodded at the ambulance crew who wheeled the body out.

     

    Old school all the way.

     

    “Christ, he was tiring,” said Tsimpris. “Your guys tipped off the press, right?”

    “Yeah. Let’s hope Chris scores with the WJLA chick, she’s pretty hot.”

    “Nobody sucks cock like the DC press.”

    Then another knock and the Sunshine Cleaning crew wheeled in a commercial dehumidifier unit. The first team positioned their unit up in far corner, powered it up and left.

    The second team didn’t even uncoil the power cable, but opened up their unit to reveal mostly empty space inside. As they unlimbered their equipment, Phillips struck up a conversation with them.

    “So, which of you people was this?”

     

    What's a fellow to do?

    The round-faced crewman with the name patch “Burke” answered. “It wasn’t off-worlders, like us. They are from a different measurement than us all,” he gestured to include everyone in the room.

    “Measurement?”

    You mean dimension,” asked Tsimpris.

    “Yes, that is the word. They are undercooked and dangerous.”

    “You mean ‘rare,’” asked Phillips.

    “Ah. Normally I’m not the talker. We’re busy today. Hare,” he gestured to the hatchet-faced crewman, “doesn’t speak English.” Hare’s mouth opened slightly and his tongue darted out.

     

    I've got an idea!

    The crew had got a C-shaped bar behind back of the corpse with the ends hooked  under the armpits. They stepped out of the bathroom and Hare pulled a remote out of his coveralls. The bar hummed and lifted the corpse off the toilet so it was standing astride the bowl. Then a spherical object about the size of a softball levitated out of the fake dehumidifier and floated into the bathroom and hid behind the door. Burke reached in and pulled the door closed and checked that it was latched. Hare pushed a button and there was a prolonged whoosh from inside the bathroom.

    “Fire in the hole,” said Phillips.

    “It is a cold mist cleaner,” said Burke. “Plasma-based disinfection makes a body un-re-hatchable, like when you humans ruin good meat.”

    “It’s an expression.”

    The remote emitted a tone and Burke opened the door. The bathroom was as clean and fresh as a Summer’s eve. Hare worked his remote and the corpse floated out of the room dangling from the gravity-defying device which then lowered the corpse into the interior of the fake dehumidifier unit so it folded into a reclining position with the knees up. The softball floated out of the bathroom and returned to its little hidey hole inside the cabinet. Snakelike things writhed out from within the unit. Some bared sharp metal fangs, others had obscene, pulsing slickery ends. Phillips and Tsimpris were thankful that Burke closed the device before they could see any further indignities inflicted upon the corpse.

    “So, when will she be ready,” asked Phillips.

    “Monday, maybe Tuesday.”

    “This is kind of a rush job.”

    “You all say that.”

     

    Dr Caligari would have approved.

     

    Burke and Hare rolled the unit out, Burke loudly complaining “fucking piece of shit unit, goddamn cheap company” and banging on the unit for good measure.

    Phillips and Tsimpris waited for the door to close. “Beautiful,” said Tsimpris, enacting a silent golf clap.

    “Haven’t seen acting that good since I took the Missus to Arena Stage for our anniversary. This calls for a toast.” Phillips approached the desk and stroked his chin. “Ima say she’s a back behind the files gal.” He opened the lower right drawer of the desk all the way and fished around the innermost part. “Bingo.”

    “Crown Royal. Classy.”

    “The deep state finally has a US Senator again,” said Phillips taking a taking a good pull from the bottle and passing it on to Tsimpris.

    “Senator Byrd brought a new meaning to the term ‘Grand Dragon.’ Shame we couldn’t keep up the masquerade longer.”

    A Note to My Loyal Readers: Do not despair my little zilthrakii, “The Glibening” will resume when least needed and most expected.