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Location: SpaceX corporate headquarters. Hawthorne, CA.
“My diabolical plan to set up a Martian sugar beet colony is going exactly as planned. Soon the world, my world, will be flooded with my sugar beets. They will all be stuck on a lifeless desert planet, with nothing to sustain themselves but my sugar beets.” Elon said.
”Sir, who are you talking to?” The hispter in the next cubicle asked.
”I’m not talking to anybody.” Elon replied.
”You were just talking to somebody.”
”No I wasn’t. Thats not funny, hahaha.” Elon’s real but fake laugh made everyone in the office uneasy. “Maybe its a little funny. Don’t you have some kind of project to be working on? I’m paying you for something?”
”I’m still working on that 3D rendering of a sandwich you want me to order tomorrow. Turkey and avacado on sourdough.” The hipster answered.
”Order? You’re making me the sandwich. I better see that rendering by lunch today. I’m still dissapointed the crepes this morning looked nothing like the rendering I approved last week. Try harder.”
”Yes Mr. Musk.”
”Hey, call me Elon… Bitch.”
”What did you say?”
”He called you a bitch.” A groutesque man in a cheap suit appeared from behind the hipster’s cubicle. He smelled of Unfiltered Camels, incense, sweat, and a dead house cat. He sat there inhaling the cigarette from behind a baggy, leather-like set of thin lips.
“Who invitied this guy? You can’t smoke in here.” Elon said.
”Of course I can. Who are you to tell me I can’t smoke in here?”
”I own the building…and the big rocket outside.”
“Hard to believe that, given you work in a cubicle.“
Elon was not amused.
”Fine. Hold out your hand, Bitch.” The hispter did as he was told. The chunky titted man put out his cigarette on the hipsters hand, pressing and twisting the Camel firmly into his palm.
”I guess I can dispose of this outside….” He hurried away. “I need an ice pack!”
The man sat there, adjusting himself.
”I think I’m going to have security escort you off my property.” Elon picked up the phone, and set it down when he found the phone was dead.
”No security, I paid them off. Put them on 8 hour shifts instead of 12, and it might help if you feed them meat every once in a while. Seriously, it should take more than a Baconator.” He lit up another cigarette. “Let me ask you a question, do you know what happened to the Opportunity Rover?”
”Opportunity? It was (((you know)))…I know they’re behind it…somehow…”
“No, not this time. I’m surprised you didn’t see it. It happened near your sugar beet fields.”
”How do you know about my sugar beets!?”
”Hey genius, my agency subsidized them. We paid for your secret sugar beets. Now we need you to return the favor.” He took a long, orgasmic drag of the cigarette and blew it in Musk’s face. “The Opportunity Rover did not just go offline because its service life is up. It was raped by SPACE SMITH. We even got a fuzzy photo before it was crushed. Your field may be next, but he’s never raped vegetables. At least not yet.”
Musk tried to call security on his iPhone.
”That won’t work either, we already took it through the backdoor. Much like that Soviet probe. SPACE SMITH has been tossing its salad since the 70’s.” He adjusted himself again. “SPACE SMITH is just one of many SMITHS here on Earth. They’re behind something of a revolt. You will help us cover it up.”
”You are telling me what to do?”
“We need a fall guy. You’re going to be it.”
”Excuse me?”
”We just need a guy interesting enough to take the attention away from a small roving gang of crypto-rapists. The media just focuses on you. No big deal really, other than you losing a shitload of money. You’ll pay a few fines, we’ll short your companies, the proceeds of which will be used to pay off the cryptids, for the time being. Its all in the contract you signed when you became a defense contractor.”
”No it isn’t. I paid a lot of (((lawyers))) to read it for me.”
”I’m sorry, it’s called the fuck you that’s why clause. Its not really written in the contract, but you’re going to do it anyway.”
”How can you make me do it? I’m one of the most powerful men on Earth…and Mars.”
”Well…we already hacked your iPhone. You just put out a tweet that will be interpreted by the Russian media as you being an anti-semite.”
”What?” Elon looked on his iPhone. “No!”
”There’s also a small matter involving the SEC.”
”Tesla shareholders are going to panic sell.”
”By the way, you just lost your security clearance.”
”You’re trying to ruin me!” Elon shouted. “Why?”
The sweaty man took a final drag of his cigarette.
”Because fuck you, that’s why.”
Comments
303 responses to “SPACE SMITH: Revolt”
NAT,DR
Not About Tesla, Didn’t Read?
Sugar beets on Mars?
Was Musk working with this guy: https://www.projectpegasus.net/
Turn the beet around
That’s going to be in my head for a while. Thanks
You’re welcome.
All websites need a rating system:
C for Conspiracy Theory
F for Fake news
S for Satirical or Parody
I for Insane person or idiot
SF for RUN AWAY!
I, Paul Krugman
Huh.
Seems legit.
Do we know who the smoking man is supposed to be other than a representative of the gov?
Bravo by the way! I’m enjoying that SPACE SMITH remains a shadowy figure to be speculated about.
Failed short story writer I believe.
Failed=not successful yet
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INITIATE IMMEDIATELY
CRM114
Drink your ovaltine?
You’re early.
Re-posting: On the Christchurch Shooting | When Self Defense Is ‘Not a Valid Reason’
Matt Christiansen’s take is on point.
a) It’s a video that would probably be better off as a blog;
b) It wouldn’t load in Firefox for me.
a) obvious stuff to us
b) works on Firefox
a) I concur
b) I concur
I have it on good authority that all shootings would stop instantly if we just passed a couple more laws. I mean, France has total gun control and the only time they ever have mass shootings is when guns make it in there from Indiana.
All wrongful shooting will stop once the Top Humyns get control. It is very simple, once they kill off all the problematic people, completely devalue the currency, and seize all the guns and food the only shootings will be righteous shootings of counter revolutionary elements.
We’ll finally have long overdue full employment for psychopaths! They can have their dream jobs of getting paid to conduct mass shootings at the behest of the government!
I came across this reasonable hot-take today.
TL;DR it’s a plea that will fall on deaf ears for the MSM to not do what they are already doing to exploit this for their own purposes while ignoring anything that doesn’t fit the narrative.
First comment:
“Don’t worry, the police will get there to help 10 minutes after you’re dead.”
And if they get there before that it will be just in time to set up a perimeter as you are being killed.
AOC weighs in being Civil Unifying Nice Tactful:
https://thehill.com/homenews/house/434190-ocasio-cortez-calls-out-nra-after-new-zealand-shootings-what-good-are-your
Yes, an American Civil Liberties organization sure has a huge effect on New Zealand gun policy.
(“Thoughts and prayers” is reference to the NRA’s phrase used to deflect conversation away from policy change during tragedies. Not directed to PM Ardern, who I greatly admire.)
Alternatively it is what people say in order to express empathy. But when you are intent on violating a document you are sworn to uphold you can “never let a crisis got to waste”.
She’s too busy lecturing from atop that pile of dead bodies to waste time with empathy.
…to people who believe in the power of prayer and just had dozens of their congregation slaughtered.
She should be lambasted far and wide for this comment, but if anything, she will be cheered on.
“What good are thoughts and prayers “
Same thing the mass murderer said.
I really don’t want to like the GOP but their worst can’t top the batshit insanity of Clinton, Waters, and this piece of shit.
AOC is a horrid piece of shit. I seriously cannot stand her. I thought Pelosi was bad, but Christ, Karla Marx makes Pelosi look like a liberty-loving, reasonable, kind-hearted genius.
She’s the embodiment of vapid, smarmy, arrogant progressive millennials. If Democrats had an ounce of self awareness they’d be horribly embarrassed and looking for the first opportunity to quietly send her back to her bartending job. But this is 2019 and I fully expect her to be running on the DNC presidential ticket in 10 yes.
Yrs
She’s vile. And yeah, she’s that horrible kind of stupid person who thinks she’s actually very clever, so she just spreads condescension all around her to people who are looking at her wondering how someone can be such an idiot.
Tl;Dr
I’m sitting through an update of who/how/why of how many people my gf was red pilling this week in NJ. You are all welcome. Cuz she’s actually pretty good at it.
We know.
Red pilling on what?
I’m told it’s everything. She’s very enthusiastic. I won’t dissuade her from her efforts.
That’s awesome. I’ve been hanging out with a buddy who’s GF is Russian. She has some horrifying collectivist ideas on domestic stuff but it’s been a riot listening her school a bunch of my ‘Merica first buddies on foreign policy.
Oh, she’s very enthusiastic.
Musk may be a jerk, but the Spacesuit Man in a Convertible is really cool.
In 1992, we were promised an electric car whose potential energy could launch a pound of bacon into the asteroid belt. In 2018, the electric car itself was launched into the asteroid belt. Who says progress isn’t a thing?
A flying car that launches bacon? Take my money.
Who wants a car that moves bacon away from you? The point is to accumulate the bacon. Make me a flying car that brings me bacon, like KITT with wings.
The flying car is fast enough to catch up to the bacon though.
I just figured that it would launch bacon into the house while parked in the driveway.
Do you belong to an elite order, a hallowed subcategory. Do you have esprit up to here?
Please let the others follow. Then we can look forward to the campaign memoirs telling us what a pain in the ass the unions were.
https://www.politico.com/story/2019/03/15/bernie-campaign-2020-staff-union-1223914
LOL good luck getting any effort out of them. I think they should go further and demand they all live in public housing and buy a bus pass.
There’s still time. I can’t wait for campaign management to bump into the union’s work rules, fringe benefit demands, and associated costs. Maybe one of them will come away from it a converted capitalist.
Jimbo jumps to position of attention at the mention of sugar beets and a wave of home sickness wafts through his memory
Sugar beets are the superior sugar source…I mean, other than honey!
I’m always amazed at the astuteness of the Midwest Glibs.
There aren’t many smells worse than a beet processing facility.
The smell of money!
Mmmm… used to love driving out in Nampa past that sugar refinery. Could smell that sweetness in the air.
Sorry, I think it smells worse that the stockyard on Beacon Light.
I’m with Spud…I’ve spend most of my life around sugar beet factories and “sweet” is certainly not a word I (or anyone else around here) would use to describe them.
Half the French fry plant I interviewed at smelled like rotten potatoes.
Yes, teens organized the protest, not their teachers. Moar fake newz.
https://www.masslive.com/news/2019/03/springfield-boston-teens-frustrated-by-gun-violence-protest-at-smith-wesson-factory-gates-photos.html
Dear Media,
I could give 2 fucks what a bunch of 17 y/O’s think about pretty much anything.
When I was in school there was an attempt at a walkout over something stupid (dress code or something), the teachers shut that shit down in short order and the students backed down with barely a wimper. No way this shit is happening without faculty sponsorship.
When I was 17 I pierced my ear with a safety pin, and I was relatively smart and clear-headed for my peer group. I’m happy to be proven wrong, but generally speaking teenagers are not fonts of wisdom.
I thought today was the teen climate change protest. I wish they would, like, make up their minds already.
Springfield, MA is a dying shit hole. Chasing out one of the few significant remaining employers is not a good idea.
On the way back from town yesterday I saw two bald eagles sitting on the top of utility poles taking in the sun. That makes eight this week (doubtless saw some twice). They weren’t just taking in the sun they were waiting for road kill. Saw two pair working on one they had taken off to the shoulder to eat.
Now, bald eagles will eat just about anything, but their main diet is fish. These were settling for road kill because while it’s now mid March the lake is still frozen over.
Another example of Global Warming. Excuse me, Climate Change.
Doesn’t matter the eagles will all be dead in twelve years.
As cool as Bald Eagles are they really are just vultures that aren’t hideous to look at. They don’t necessarily fill you with patriotic pride as you watch them rip into the bloated belly of a rotting carcass.
I like watching them eat garbage when I’m up in mountain towns.
They don’t necessarily fill you with patriotic pride as you watch them rip into the bloated belly of a rotting carcass.
Speak for yourself!
Just because they are opportunistic (i.e. will do whatever it takes to stay alive) doesn’t mean they are just pretty vultures.
Well, yeah, that’s majestic but they left out the ripping and tearing.
Fuck with with USA and we’ll rip and tear the shit out of you. 🙂
I think a Peregrine is much more majestic and impressive.
There are a shit load of bald eagles around the San Jaun islands to the point of not being all that special.
Fuck, yeah!
An Osprey provides for itself doing just that, exclusively, and almost never scavenges.
/Not that it matters, ranking animals on subjective anthropomorphic standards is silly
We have a lot of osprey here. It’s fun watching them work. Same with the red tail hawks and other raptors.
ranking animals on subjective anthropomorphic standards is silly
Candiru still suck
Yeah, I’m never wading into the Amazon unless I’m wearing well fitting metal underwear
Yes they do…and they also migrate to maintain that free access to fish, whereas many Bald Eagles tend to habitate much harsher environments.
/Bald Eagle Anti-Slander League
Your group should consider changing its name to Bald Eagle Anti-Slander Team
Motioned, seconded, and approved.
/BEAST
We’ve got lots of osprey. They’re pretty neat birds. A buddy of mine was in his back yard when a fish dropped out of the sky about three feet from him. An osprey flying over accidentally dropped it.
Myself, I like that they have one of the finest cases of Resting Bitch Face in the animal kingdom.
I saw a female flitting about in the Alabama hills in February.
Are we still talking about eagles?
Yup. Best place to get a closeup of eagles is in the ditch, scavenging. Multiple times I’ve seen ”tourons” stop in the middle of a highway to take pictures of them doing so.
I still find them very majestic.
Around 15 years ago me and some friends went fishing on the Mississippi River in late February as the ice was breaking up. When we entered a narrow slough to cut to a different part of the river, we noticed a bunch of bald eagles in the trees as we entered. We cut the motor and just started drifting through slowly without making a sound. Every tree on either side of us had at least 5 bald eagles perched and just staring at us. We drifted for at least 5 minutes, watching as hundreds of bald eagles looked at us. It was a surreal moment. Of course none of us had a camera that day.
Crows were once a serious problem for anyone growing corn. These days they wont touch corn. Road kill has gone up in abundance and they prefer the higher nutritional density of road meat.
I think SPACE SMITH is one of Mr. Lizard’s shock troops. BTW, where has Mr. Lizard been?
https://thechive.com/2019/03/15/your-reflection-i-like-it-45-photos-2/
Selfie slutz.
11, 18, 24, 39
3, 14, and 21
As good a hypothesis as any other, I guess.
Oh FFS
All that’s missing is a notebook full of Kek doodles.
We play that game at work…the old junior high game, “You looked!” Except no punching or or anything stupid, just “you looked”. Didn’t know we were a bunch of white supremacists. Huh.
You’re white. You’re male.
Ergo: white supremacist.
Sounds a lot like this game
https://youtu.be/yc86ZXFsriM
Very similar, yes.
Wait, are you calling me retarded?!
Being drunk isn’t exactly the same thing as being retarded. Unless your always drunk. Then the difference is just semantics at that point.
Why are they blurring out his face?
Also: why are TPTB so aggressive in taking down the livestream footage? I know I certainly don’t have a desire to watch people get mowed down, but what are they afraid of people seeing?
Appeals to potential copycats.
People unable to defend themselves due to government laws being slaughtered?
^^This^^
This is turning into 4chan meets mental illness and the end-result is exactly what he wrote in his copypasta “manifesto”. Christ, this is going to get tedious.
Yeah it’s funny how quickly this fucking lunatic’s incoherent dribble has metastasized into an “ideology”.
They are only lone nuts when they shoot up Republican softball games or country music concerts. Otherwise they are all in on the same far right conspiracy.
They’re always looking for a political motive. There’s no rational motive for these things, they’re nut jobs.
Murder is cool as long as its enacted by state power.
He’s a japanese pornstar?
When did OK become the symbol for white power?
You can thank 4chan trolling, but they forgot proggies have no sense of humor, so it became a thing.
The end product for all those sugar beets.
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=-PJ6wWPF6Z0
Monosodium Glutamate. Chinese fried chicken is pretty tasty.
This is interesting.
New Brownells BRN-Proto AR15 Replica
Speaking of AR’s, I still haven’t gotten a chance to shoot the PSA that I bought a while ago. But I have read a few negative things about them since. Do any Glibs have any experience with these and are they reliable/acceptable rifles? (I have taken it apart a few times and I cleaned it after buying it. It feels a little rough when charging it, which I have done to check the function. But I figure I can upgrade the bcg if I need to.)
Did you get the kit?
A complete upper and a complete lower bought separately.
I have not heard much bad about PSA. Best way to smooth it out is to shoot it.
I thought “breaking it in” might be the case.
Yeah, just lube it up and go have some fun with it. If parts don’t fall off than it’s better than Hi-Point:).
“Yeah, just lube it up and go have some fun with it.”
Are we still talking about guns?
Guns, girls, grills
Sgammo.com and get a case.
Never bought from them. Good experience?
I order most of my ammo from them. Never had any problems. They are up front if there are any shipping delays. The big plus is that they didn’t raise there rates on in stock ammo during the last great ammo panic.
That’s cool. I’ve had good experiences with Midway USA as well. Like to shop around. Been meaning to try Lucky Gunner too.
I usually get stuff from CheaperThanDirt. But I’ll check that out.
When CTD cranked up their prices on ARs to take advantage of one of the “black rifle panics”, I swore to never shop there again.
If you’re shooting quantity, Freedom Munitions is a decent choice. I’ve bought case lots from them.
Thanks. Bookmarking all these guys to my ammo folder:)
Suddenly I have a few new sites of which I was unaware. *adds to favorites*
I’m on the FU CTD train.
Be careful. I’ve gone drunk shopping on the Internet and have had several cases of ammo show up on my doorstep that I didn’t remember ordering…
I order a new scope mount for my AR carry handle a couple months back. Last week I was going through my gun stuff and found a different scope mount still in it’s package that I don’t remember when I ordered.
I was looking for some parts the other day and realized that at some point I had bought three 1919Am parts kits.
Gun-deals.com will give you a list of cost per round delivered for varioussuppliers.
A buddy was just telling me about them for guns.
They’ve made several interesting replicas. I wouldn’t mind the XM155(?, the CAR-15) and A1 or pre A1 ones.
‘Murica. This guy’s channel is pretty funny.
https://youtu.be/zgGpVFN8y8Y
Avionic
Avionic
3 years ago
Bro, I gotta say your videos are really easy to jerk off to. I just wish you wouldn’t have so many scenes with the girls in them.
293
Well, yea.
Matt Best should learn the magic of a lapel mic.
At least now we know what happened to Major Tom.
And the stars look very different today
This is Major Tom to ground cont,,,Good *od!!! What the FOCK IS THAT…AUUUUGH….TELL MY WIFE I LOVE HER…AHHHHH…MY RECTUM……
Much better lyrics. We just need to add Moar Cow Bell.
I’m convinced that Trump declaring a nat’l emergengy for what is essentially a policy position is going to be the precedent for some extremely anti-liberty shit by the progs down the road. Thoughts?
I agree. It’s unprincipled and creates/continues a terrible prescident. Props to Rand Paul for standing against it, even if it harms his chummy relationship with the ? man.
*even if it
They would have done it anyways. What the proggies will not be able to do is use it to suspend parts of the Constitution. And if they’re in charge, they will run roughshod over us with regulations regardless.
Well they’re talking about stacking the SCOTUS so the Constitution will say whatever they want it to.
Progs would cream themselves en mass if they thought they could get away with a D president declaring a national emergency in response to a mass shooting. It’s probably just around the corner.
Spud, can you explain what you mean about them not using it to suspend parts of the Constitution? Do you think they won’t use it to enact an end-around on 1st/2nd Amendment? I think that it gives them an opening to do so. “Gun violence is a national emergency”, while imbecilic in an era in which violence is probably the lowest in recorded human history(?), sounds exactly what President Beto would do ok their first day in office. Hope you are right.
We’d be beholden to SCOTUS on that one. “Shall not be infringed” has specific meaning. Squishy John Roberts would be the deciding vote, unless the notorious RBG kicks it in the next year.
If RBG dies and Trump gets to appoint her successor, there will be blood. The progs are out of control already and that would be gasoline on the fire.
I’m looking forward to it.
I think regardless, once they’re back in power they’ll try to add more justices. Beto had talked about going up to 15.
FDR tried and failed. Not sure about this go ‘round.
When I first got married, my condo was decorated in the bachelor-with-some-coin style. Black leather couch, large screen TV and X Box 360 sitting on an all glass coffee table. 20 years later and I’m sitting on a frilly pink toilet seat cover and taking a dump while my wife and daughter are sitting on floral pattern zabotans in the living room, watching AKB 48 on TV. Incremental changes favor the party that doesn’t say, “Eh fuck it. Go ahead and add a few things you like.”
Simultaneously eloquent and disgusting. Well done, sir. [golf clap]
I don’t agree with his move but no, progs would do it if they could get away with it whether this happened or not.
Progs do w/e they can, legal or not. And they practice lawfare with the courts. I disagree with such tactics and do not recommend employing them. I think our reasoning should remain within what is constitutionally permissible.
This is why you’re almighty. He shouldn’t do it, but just read to the “green new deal” which all the team blue hopefuls endorsed. The DGAF about precedent and constitutionality.
Agreed. The Green New Deal is the most malicious thing to enter the American political consciousness since the original. It is basically Stalinism-lite and the progs and their useful idiots won’t observe Congressional niceties when they jam it down our throats (ala Obamacare). Still, we shouldn’t make it easier for them.
I’ll admit, I tacitly agree with Styx on the issue. I also think that the thing that needs to be done is congressional repeal of the legislation that allows the president to issue such declarations. It is possible that there is a constitutional argument against the legitimacy of the congress empowering the president to make such declarations (such as an obvious one against allowing the president to generally disarm the populace or allow the enforcement of speech codes in violation of 1A), so I am open to such arguments.
Maybe I’m off base here, but is it really so unrealistic to think that, in the age of air travel, Congress should be able to get a quorum to vote on declaring emergencies within 24 hours of the event? Would devolving that power to the legislature really slow down the process that much?
in the age of air travel
Technology should not define rights or government authority. That said, I already agreed that said power should be removed. Exceptions would be things involving immanent threats along the lines of foreign attack/invasions, which are already constitutionally permissible. Additionally, the habeas corpus and congressional declaration of war provisions are already a thing. They just need to be acknowledged and adhered to.
I do not think a president should be able to just declare an emergency and throw money where he/she wants to, especially when it is not earmarked or otherwise designated funding, but I do not know where it is unconstitutional for Congress to allow the president to do so.
“ but I do not know where it is unconstitutional for Congress to allow the president to do so.“
Well put. Most of our current issues, imo, are related to Congress agreeing to be the red-headed step-child of the three branches of government.
Meaning that, in a system that worked as the Founders intended, Congress would tell POTUS to fuck off and actually compete for power rather than just settling for soundbites on CNN.
Yup. They collude for power (though there are exceptions, hence why we have made it as far as we have.)
Let’s go Heels!
Agreed. Screw Duke and my Noles just dropped UVA!
Damn, just like that it’s a one point game.
UVA hasn’t got anything when they aren’t allowed to constantly foul and call it tough defense. Good win by the Noles.
O.M.G. I had split a small brisket I had on hand to make corned beef. I smoked the small flat today for pastrami. It only weighed two pounds and it took eight hours to reach temperature. I though for sure it was going to be dried out. There are Ruebens in my near future.
Holy cow, that sounds delicious. Got a recipe you care to share?
Article coming.
Yum. I can’t wait to get some dry weather and break the smoker out.
About three week ago, signs the weather was turning flipped me into grilling and smoking mode. Then again, I have pictures of me grilling standing on a foot of snow.
And last week I cold smoked and packed up five pounds of bacon.
I made my way to Mahogany Smoked Meats a few weeks ago. Don’t pretend you haven’t heard of it.
In addition to the the bacon ends, I got about a hundred bucks worth of beef jerky, sweet and hot.
It seems to have gone missing, and I’m SO pissed.
I did a ribeye and shrooms/onions for dinner. 1″ thick (at least…). Pan seared (on cast-iron) on each side for 2 min and finished in the oven for 15 min at 350. A nice medium-well. Btw, Costco ribeyes are yuge. I made one and split it with the gf. The 4 pack makes 8 servings, which is nice because, in my book, it was somewhat expensive.
Great minds Spud. I did mine 2 weeks ago…took the flat, cut in half and smoked it for pastrami after the brine and then for a early Paddy day dinner had the corned beef last night.
We did pastrami on rye for the family and I had no left overs
What’s the protocol for inviting a new glib to join?
This will end up clean, I’m sure.
+1 family friendly website
Bring a sense of humor and a raincoat.
My daughters are wondering why I’m laughing while reading on my phone.
Get them drunk, verbally berate them, and then beat them with a stick while they beg for forgiveness. Then tell them, “fuck off Tulpa” and show them the sign up page.
Are they Tulpa?
Damn your nimble fingers, Spud!
You’re all Tulpa. So, fuck off.
Assholes lol
I mean, they are either a) a red-blooded, liberty-loving, American (or Canadian) patriot OR b) Preet investigsting. 50/50 chance.
*investigating. Apologies for drunk texting.
What’s the protocol for inviting a new glib to join?
Money, drugs and ethnic anal?
Giving, or receiving?
Aye, that’s the rub.
I mean, the SMITH family is allowed.
Uhhh…
Are we not doing phrasing?
Receiving money and drugs and I’ll leave the anal up to the individual, statist.
BAKING THE OPPRESSION CAKE ///would
Absolutely.
She’s very distracting… her talking, mainly.
Meh, you got low standards for an internet wood.
I like what I like.
You do you. Just sayin.
I need to find this woman.
A bunch of kids cut class today (“went on strike”) to demand action to halt climate change. TV news showed a great banner one group was carrying: “Whatever It Takes.” Since they are all woke on this issue, let’s take action starting with the kids. Spring Breaks are banned because they result in needless burning of fossil fuels to get to Panama City Beach or wherever. No semesters abroad = less transatlantic air pollution. Strict beer rationing for kids under 26 who are still dependent on their parents. Think of all the ag land saved by not growing beer ingredients, not to mention tractors and threshers, beer trucks. A little child shall lead them, so you kids go first and show your commitment to Gaia’s health.
How about we go all commie, whatever it takes is…wait that joke is in bad taste after a terror attack…(psst it involves killing those who appose you, and those expendable, like kids…)
If we all agree to their terms there will be no need to impose Draconian rules. #stopresisting.
How many of those kids are willing to invade China or India? And I don’t mean commit Western troops to stemming the worst polluters, how many of them are willing to enlist?
I remember walking out of school once in high school. I just don’t remember why.
Lunch.
So who’s gonna win the battle of wypipo vs the POC? That NZ shooter just walked up, kicked a cop in the balls and shouted, “Who’s with me?” Doooood…*Queitly Moonwalks away*
The lottery? No that’s not right…
I went to my shithole bar for drinks. The black bartendress was watching Chappelle Show. Everyone laughed at Chappelle’s racial humor. White people dance to guitar, black people dance to drums. Latinos dance to electric keyboard.
Then we all got into a serious discussion about the divisiveness of racial humorNOBODY FUCKING CARES, WE ALL JUST WANT TO MAKE MONEY AND GET LAID.Dave Chappelle is the perfect way to bring different races/ethnicities together. He’s that damn funny.
The only wrinkle is you have to be black in order to get away with that sort of humor any more.
My new favorite submission. 10/10
Fuck you Elon!
Your praise pushed to to actually read it. That is good. Who’s the author you think?
It was me. I was just fishing for compliments.
(not really)
This was great, Tundra!
Lol. I should have known it was you!
What? I’m not Tulpa.
We’re all Tulpa.
Still, this could have been you. The talent of this group is stupidly good.
*Writes scathing article about Tundra and his odd obsession with John Cusack* *Unpauses Grosse Point Blank*
How can you not love that movie? Great music, attractive people and a massive number of rounds expended.
Due to a lame sportsball (meaning not football) game tomorrow my shift got cut, so I’ll post some Irish music here as I won’t get to play all I wanted to tomorrow. But here, I can post non-FCC sanctioned ones!
This is an interesting take on Christchurch by Rod Dreher. He sort of posits that the shooter was maybe correct in his diagnosis, just batshit crazy and 10,000% wrong on the solution.
Personally, I don’t quite agree with Rod’s diagnosis, but there is something to it. Western civilization seems to be imploding. And what I see as the solution (capitalism, more personal freedom, less government) seems to be disliked by the people running Western civilization.
Um, I don’t see any of that as being true, at least not in the way presented here.
I’m sorry. The decline of Western Civilization is all my fault.
Only partway through but I’m not sure taking that “manifesto” seriously is the right tack.
Why not? He has misidentified the source of the problem and it led to him making the situation unmeasurably worse. There are people out there that agree with the guy and their murderous beliefs need to be challenged.
Yeah, you know what? I don’t fucking know any more. I could be totally wrong.
Part of me thinks it’s 4chan trollery, and another part thinks maybe there’s something there.
I don’t want to deal with people who wrap immoral behavior around grains of truth and then go out and murder innocent people. Something, something 20th century…
The more I think about this, the more pissed off I get.
I need a drink.
Cheers. Hope coffee is OK.
I’m on Vodka & Fresca now. I’m building up a little bar so I have a bigger choice than I’m used to now. I could go cognac or whiskey next – who knows??
First, I didn’t know Fresca still existed. Second, I thought only middle aged women drank Fresca. Third, Fresca can only make a mockery of decent booze.
I just discovered it last week. I’ve been searching for something sugar-free that I can tolerate on a daily basis and it seems like it might fit the bill.
Yes, it’s terrible. But that’s the point.
Your alien ways confuse me but they also make me laugh. Carry on.
Fresca was LBJ’s favorite drink.
LOL I found that out when I researched it on wikipedia. I can’t imagine how awful it must have been with saccharine. It’s probably the best-tasting soda with aspartame that I’ve come across but that ain’t saying much.
In my heavy vodka drinking days diet mountain dew was my non-sugar choice. In Wisconsin another popular mixer is diet sun drop. Not sure if available where you live. If I was getting fancy it was vodka with cranberry and a splash of pineapple juice.
Yeah, it’s one part Unibomber 2 parts 4Chan. again, this is in the manifesto:
Oh, damn…I’m such an asshole, the ending of Straff’s story is right there, and now I need to right is. Fuck, straff you’re going to get me labeled a terrorist, damn you.
now I need to right is
You’re… something, alright.
Per my music link, Fuck You I’m drunk!
Me too, bruddah, me too
Remember when some people said that they don’t agree with what the terrorists did, but that blowback was a real thing? Those people are racist sympathizers when the terrorist is a white person and not a Muslim.
Yeah. If your reaction to all this is “I wouldn’t have gone that far, but WHERE DID MUH COUNTRY GONE?” you’re a fucking piece of shit.
And if you use these murders to silence your political enemies, you’re a POS. I think both of those groups are disgusting.
Of course. I find it amusing that CNN is frothing at the mouth over Trump saying he didn’t believe White supremcists were a global threat. If he was one, why would he minimize their perceived power? Was Obama an Islamist when he labeled ISIS as “junior varsity?”
He’s downplaying their power so that nobody pays attention as they amass their army of orcs in the belly of Mount Doom. Saruman was evil, but he spoke truth.
CNN has only a passing relationship with logic, insight, and intellectual consistency.
I can moon the CNN offices from the window of my hotel room.
Why is this stated as a possibility rather than an accomplishment? Also, please write my name on a brick and toss it at Don Lemon.
I can moon the CNN offices from the window of my hotel room.
CNN has a studio tour where you can heckle their staff. It included a cardboard cutout with Robin Meade that I may or may not have played grab-ass.
I’m not ready to be the meat in a Lemon/Anderson sandwich.
Can I still listen to Country Roads even if white supremacy and Fallout 76 is/are a piece of shit?
Only when you play Mario Kart?
Too late, listening now AND ALMOST THERRRRRE
https://youtu.be/-0JJtgMM74Q
I don’t drink whiskey anymore, it’s the devil.
This band opened for ZZ Top at a concert we went to few years ago. It’s about growing up in the county where Jack Daniel’s is made. Let’s just say that it was an effective Mormon repellent. They left in droves during the song.
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=oaOg6jCCMnU
Moore County is dry. They should love that.
TPTB used to take the perceptions of the populace into account when making decisions. Yes, in a perfect world you’d say that you don’t care about someone’s perception if it didn’t jive with reality. But, the ruling class used to at least throw a bone to the people and their perceptions of injustice in order to chill people the hell out. Things like free speech, govt surveillance, police abuse, welfare reform etc would at least get the authorities to give the people some form of protection from what they perceived as injustice. Again, I’m not talking about whether the perceptions people held matched reality or not. It’s become FYTW all the time. At least Pilate gave up Barabas is what I’m sayin’. Haven’t fleshed this out well, but you get what I’m saying?
I rarely want to retract shit I say, but I should’ve thought about that more before posting. Teaches me not to post while on a crowded train.
Why?
I think responsiveness to citizens, even if feigned or a bad idea in a particular case is probably a good thing, within limits, such as those set out in the constitution.
t flies Sideways through time It’s an electric line To your Zodiac sign
Lemmy is gone. Agile Cyborg is gone.
Just sayin’.
AC had some weird backstory, I seem to recall… much like another poster here. Very similar. I can’t prove it, but I have my suspicions. And when I
amass enough evidenceget bored and forget about it, I’llbring charges to the Glibs tribunalprobably get drunk and do nothing.Linguistic similarities? 😉
I’m not smart like that. It’s something I remember from AC complaining about his home life, and a certain other regular here who has a similar situation.
And I’m not being coy, I just can’t remember his handle. I’m really dumb like that. I’ll know it when I see it.
Oh, I figured HM was the likeliest candidate given his unique turn of phrase.
Festus! I think Festus is AC. I don’t know what his game is, or if he’s back on his meds, but I think Festus is AC.
I am not AC. I am Poppy.
Being compared to AC is high praise, indeed. I’m just a drunken curmudgeon whose jokes mostly fall flat, not some shape-shifting otherkin in tune with the Cosmos. I did do a lot of acid when I was a teen but I haven’t got his creativity or typing skills.
Are you saying someone else offered to give Playa a rimjob while he ate out his wife?
Good lord, you people make sex unsexy. No woman wants a second man involved in her marital congress.
Technically it would only be Playa who would be physically involved under that scenario.
So thats how they roll in Manhattan Beach….
It is impossible to overstate the amount of drugs Lemmy took as a young man.
fuck dook. That is all. Maybe I should write an article about how the only things I truly hate are commies and dookies.
You Took
This is a good one.
Indeed. My fave on that album (next to “Almost With You”). It’s insanely good.
Not sure if I linked this before, but here’s a live performance of the whole album back in 1982
Enjoy!
Yah, I watched it. Thanks!
Looks like they’ll be in Jersey City soon. No NYC dates, though.
Tour
I saw them last year on this tour. First half of the show was the entire Starfish album. Second was a little bit of everything. Such a fun show!
Sadly, Starfish is not my favorite album – despite it being my introduction to the band. I just like everything that came before it better.
The way they interpreted it for the tour was excellent. I’ve seen them many, many times and usually left for a beer when the ‘popular’ songs rolled around. Not last time.
Also, Jersey City for all intents and purposes *is* NYC. It’s like a five-minute train ride away.
Overkill
i like this. Ghosts appear and fade away…
Really? After your AC-Lemmy post I expected this:
https://youtu.be/30kAX4gMbfg
More into the psychedelic stuff tonight, but that’s purely beautiful!
“My heart beat shows the fear…”
I always thought that was “my heart beat so severe”.
You will now always replace “my angel in the centerfold” with “my anus is the centerhole”.
Blues Traveller: “once upon a midnight dreary I woke with something in my mouth”
Thanks Tundra. That is my favorite arrangement of my favorite Men At Work song.
Silver lining.
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=PaMnmgZ9zSA
I don’t speak prog. What did Chelsea Clinton (of all people) supposedly say that resulted in the NZ massacre?
It’s a purge. No reason or evidence necessary.
Still classy.
https://dailycaller.com/2019/03/15/stacey-abrams-georgia-election/
Fat, ugly and ranty is no way to go through life, Son.
Pikers! The lot of you! *Shuffles off to the salt mines*
Hey now. I was accused of being Agile Cyborg! That’s a little exciting (I think).