After some discussion here at Glib’s HQ, we decided to let the cryptids sort out who would do tonight’s advice column. As they could not agree, they decided to split it three ways. One bit of advice from each… we salute this solution, and the sharing of the article. If not, we feared a struggle that might have damaged the place even more than the takeover last month. So, with that behind us, enjoy the advice! First up, ZARDOZ:
ZARDOZ SPEAKS TO YOU, HIS CHOSEN ONES. ZARDOZ HAS SELECTED THE BRUTAL “DEAR ABBY” TO DEFEAT IN ADVICE GIVING. THEREFOR, RECEIVE THE GIFT OF ADVICE!
Q: My husband likes to wear my underwear, and it grosses me out. He knows I don’t approve and promises he won’t do it again, but he does. I can’t even stand to look at him. What should I do? — DISTURBED IN TEXAS
A: IT IS FORTUNATE FOR YOU, BRUTAL, THAT ZARDOZ HAS COME ACROSS THIS BEFORE:
DO NOT WORRY, IT WAS SIMPLY A PHASE, AND ZED GOT OVER IT…
SAY, IS THAT AN ETERNAL WAVING TO US OVER THERE? *FLIES FROM ROOM*
ZARDOZ HAS SPOKEN.
… OK. Well, that was different. On to the next advice giver, our own STEVE SMITH:
STEVE SMITH HERE, GIVE GOODEST ADVICE! HIM SMART AND KNOW HOW SOLVE PROBLEM. USUALLY INVOLVE RAPING PROBLEM UNTIL GO AWAY. BUT HIM TRY GIVE ADVICE TO SILLY HOOMANS. AT LEAST DO BETTER DEAR PRUDENCE!
Q: I’ve been arguing with my boyfriend of a year over the state of his bathroom since we’ve been dating. I’m grossed out by it. He doesn’t seem to mind that there are always beard trimmings on the surfaces where I like to put my makeup on in the morning, a floor I can’t step on with bare feet, and stray pubic hairs and stains in the toilet. He argues that he’s not the only one who uses that bathroom and his roommate is the main cause of the mess. I don’t doubt this because my boyfriend’s room is always clean, and the rest of the house isn’t too bad either, but his roommate is like a tornado. My boyfriend doesn’t want to be the one cleaning up someone else’s mess, which I get. I also understand that it’s a dingy old house, so to some extent it will never be truly clean. But that doesn’t change the fact that someone should be cleaning the bathroom at least, say, once a month.
This has been at a stalemate for a while now. He’ll say I barely spend the night at his place (which is true), and I’ll ask when the last time he cleaned the bathroom was, and he’ll just roll his eyes. I’m seriously considering just not coming over to his place until he does it. I’ve threatened that before but never really followed through. We’re both fed up with this situation.
—Dirty Bathroom
A: STEVE SMITH UNDERSTAND. HIM LIKE KEEP CAVE CLEAN. HIM GO IN WOODS, NO IN CAVE! TRY TELL ROOMMATE GO OUTSIDE AND BE DIRTY. IF HIM NO AGREE, THERE THREE THINGS CAN DO; 1) HIT ROOMMATE ON HEAD WITH BIG ROCK.
2) HAVE STEVE SMITH COME ASK POLITE, “PLEASE CLEAN”. BY ASK POLITE, MEAN RAPE.
3) HIRE CLEAN SERVICE. STEVE SMITH KNOW GOOD ONE.
HOPE ADVICE HELP!
FREE CASCADIA!
Uhhh, yeah. Thanks for that great advice, STEVE. That leaves us with our last advice, from SEA SMITH:
DEAR DEIDRE
SEA SMITH WANT HELP ADVICE! HE GOOD GIVER ADVICE. HE CHOOSE SILLY LAND HOOMAN ADVICE “DEAR DEIDRE“.
Q: I CAUGHT my girlfriend having sex in the bar loos with a guy she had only just met. Should I even try to get over this or is she just a cheap slut? I am 25 and my girlfriend is 24. We have been together for two years. I took her to Amsterdam recently for her birthday. We went to a bar the second evening and we were having a great time. My girlfriend said we should take it in turns to go to the toilet and if we went outside for a smoke, just in case we had our drinks spiked, which seemed to make sense. We got into company later that evening with a table of young men. My girlfriend was very chatty with the guy who was sitting beside her. I went to the toilet and when I came back to our table said I was going outside for a cigarette. While I was outside I looked back through the window at her. She saw me and looked annoyed so I walked out of sight for around five minutes. When I returned to the table, she had disappeared and so had the guy she had been talking to. I was a bit suspicious so I went to the toilets – unisex – and started checking the cubicles. I was really quiet. I heard noises from inside one. It was just movements, no conversation or any other sounds. I waited about three minutes and then pulled the door handle. The door flew open and there was my girlfriend inside with the guy she’d been chatting to. He was up against the wall and she was in front of him. She pulled her jeans up from both sides and panicked when she saw me. I swore at her and ran off in temper. She ran after me yelling and angry. Now she is telling me she has no memory of that evening and has sworn to me she loves me and would not have done it if she’d been in her right mind.
I love her and I don’t know what to think.
A: IT HURT! NOT YOU PROBLEM, SEA SMITH SIDES FROM LAUGH SO MUCH! OW, OW, OW!
HER SOUND SO EASY, NOT EVEN SEA SMITH WOULD RAPE. SEA SMITH HAVE SOME STANDARD! ONLY PART YOU SAY MAKE SENSE “I don’t know what to think”. SEA SMITH NOT SURE SILLY LAND HOOMAN CAN THINK. SEA SMITH SAY SWIM, SWIM AWAY FAST AS CAN. IF DO NOT, THEN FIND HER SPAWN WITH OTHER LAND HOOMANS MORE.
COME ON IN, WATER IS FINE!
Comments
238 responses to “Friday Night All Star Cryptid Advice”
BAM!!! Yeah, uh huh. Cryptids and stone head dealing out advice.
Mother effin’ THEME music!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GCU5ljQaIN4
bruh….hit with a much bigger hammer.
(turn the bass to 11)
No Nipsey Hussle? Seriously, on my way home from work I saw a 50 foot long graffiti tribute to him. On a sound wall on the four oh five. His name in tagger font with his likeness in between first and last. Never heard of him before he got plugged. Now he’s the biggest saint L.A.’s ever had. Weird.
Huh, I was expecting Winston’s mom.
She only gives out advice to Krugman.
That, and herpes.
I meant that’s who usually does Friday nights.
Not true. I did Winston’s mom last night.
Let me tell you. Spud is the perfect gentleman. We played ping pong since he still couldn’t get it up. I kicked his ass three times at ping pong.
What can I say? The “funk” took me out of my game. In more ways than one.
…and I was expecting sour cream and chives on my potato. Life is full of disappointment. .
First dude is stretching out his girlfriends undies, second guy is a slob(my shocked face), third guy is dating a slut. In other words, this post is about dudes being dudes, and chicks being chicks.
*ducks incoming from mythical libertarian women*
Or dudes being chicks.
third guy is dating a slut
nyetski. the third guy is a humiliation/cuck fetishist who is masturbating right now to you having read and thought about his fantasy. Dierdre and SEASMITH have just made you complicit in someone’s sex games. Congrats.
Agreed.
Truly, you have a dizzying intellect.
Yuck. I didn’t need to know that. Just… yuck.
: I CAUGHT my girlfriend having sex in the bar loos with a guy she had only just met. Should I even try to get over this or is she just a cheap slut?
I thought the answer was common sense. You pretend you’re okay with it until the next time you’re fucking, and then surprise anal!
Oh, then you fuck her best friend and tell her that she’s better than your now ex.
“Oh, then you fuck her best friend and tell her that she’s better than your now ex.”
I…actually came close to doing that once.
Tell us more….
I heeded the robot in my mind shouting, “danger Will Robinson, danger!”.
I’m suspecting drugs may be involved.
Even I find that unsanitary.
She should buy him his own panties, in whatever color she finds sexiest
Nude. Its as underrated as it is racist.
Who’s asking this advice, Beto’s wife?
I believe you mean “Beta’s wife”
I believe you mean “Beta’s wife”
Got home from a business trip today, after spending some time with Don Escaped Texas last night. He was a perfect Southern gentleman, and didn’t mock my Yankee ways at all. Home for the weekend, then a couple of days of work, then back in a plane to go to Vegas for Viva. Q, I’ll try to see if I can get pictures of the girls in the Pin Up Competition for you. Or would you prefer the Burlesque competition?
Why not both?
So Pope Jimbo met my wife, and had a couple beers at the dive bar. Our Florida Man bartender- long hair, Scorpions t-shirt with the sleeves cut out, dark jorts, and tats flowing out from under the shirt-said he got a slow start because he was at the Kiss concert last night.(edited: beer and autocorrect don’t mix well)
The worst kept secret about Glib meetups is that they are all just swinger parties.
He was a perfect gentleman. Anal was never even suggested.
Except, I heard, as a request for you.
Like I said. Perfect gentleman.
Some things are approached non-verbally
Ew.
From the chandelier, from the chandelier
What’s wrong with that?
HM, with the kink-shaming, of all people.
So Jimbo “knows” Brett’s wife?
Just wait for the “begats”
Y’all be careful. I’m being a good sport about this, but so won’t impugn Jimbo’s character when he can’t defend himself.
I’m surprised you didn’t kick his ass.
Other things were happening to Jimbo’s ass.
If you know what I mean.
I’m not near drunk enough to take this to the next logical conclusion, but if I was, catbutting would probably be involved. Not to mention our FF designation would be in serious jeopardy.
Now cat asses are being involved? I’m clearly not libertine enough for these meet ups.
This is as pic Brett send me by text.
That totally sounds like the Florida i saw, except needs more lynyrd Skynyrd (well, maybe that’s because it was Biketober fest and of course, they were from the area)
OK my turn.
Hit that Mf’en theme music.
ya’all need mo’ grime
What about going Girl Crazy?
Why not this ?
Girl Crazy
Or Cinnamon Girl
Whew, I needed to put this this on to clear the palate.
That’s a damn good song that I haven’t heard in quite a bit.
I have a very distinct memory of the blue case my brother’s cassette of Lady In Waiting came in.
Well, I’m gonna concur with the hobbit and double down…
There it goes
Might as well double the Neil Young too
DammitAlabama
But wait,
There’s more
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ye5BuYf8q4o
See, that sounds like Florida! I’m actually a fan, just tired of the mainstream staples. I’m more into…
Goddamit.
This kinda stuff
Bro. . .
Sorry, I blame the beer.
First two comments on that video are gold:
Today in stupid:
Must. Politicize. Everything. Everywhere.
At least they were booed. Take comfort from that.
Exactly. Good for the booing fans.
Damn, the Rays are looking good this year. Interesting to see if they keep it up.
Lightning shitting the bed
Good thing all the times your kids have been sick it’s something you’re used to now.
I’m supposed to be rooting for them, because Rangers draft pick, but…. hahahahahahahahaha
Huh? I don’t follow the NHL other than if there isn’t jack shit on TV, but I thought they were odds-on favs.
I did go to a game when I lived in St. Pete for a couple years, though.
Jeebus – sorry. Yeah, if they can’t beat Columbus in a best of seven, well… what you said, Brett.
It’s… 14 games in. Let’s not get too excited.
OK.
All these stories just .take me reluctant to meet any of you
That seems unfair. Not all of us are creeps. Some of us are perfectly normal. Not like the rest of these creeps, steer clear of them.
Yeah!
* stands next to commodious, folds arms and gives everyone else the stink-eye *
Truth: I have met commodious spittoon in Real Life ™ and can confirm that he is a Nice Person.
Not like some of you.
Oh, and deadhead is a particularity nice person, too. Like you people care.
You didn’t meet me before I started getting job offers. Now I’m a monster. Since around noon thirty today I’ve been on a tear, drinking and shouting at bums and stray dogs. I even told my ex I didn’t care if she died in an electrical fire, which is totally fucked because her dad died in an electrical fire. I’m out of control. I think I might even smoke some drugs tonight.
Did you do the electrical in their houses?
Old me would have told you I’m not qualified to do electrical.
Chad me says YOLO electric more like he-lick-my-cock… trik…
Shit, I had something for this.
deadhead is great. I wish he’d post more often.
/looks upthread
It’s because I mentioned I was a Yankee, wasn’t it? But I’m not a NYY fan! I’m from Cleveland.
There are two major misconceptions in America that I’m about to clear up for you.
First of all, a Yankee is only someone from VT, NH, or ME who is located north of Lake Winnipesaukee.
Second, a Southerner is not someone who is south of the Mason-Dixon line. The South properly begins at the boundary of the South End of Boston.
Thank you for listening to my TED Talk.
A Yankee is someone who eats pie for breakfast.
Also, Burn In Hell Dr. Marvin.
“You shouldn’t give away free pie with your breakfast honey, it makes you look cheap!” Last funny Alec Baldwin in SNL
The SNL Jussie Smollett skit was actually kinda funny.
“I’m still the gay Tupac.” LOL
How far west of the Hudson does the Midwest begin?
Well, somehow ICP thinks Detroit is East Coast, so I don’t understand retard geography.
Anything west of New Paltz.
Bless your heart.
I am so thankful I’m west of the Rockies and East of the West coast.
Hey, when I met OMWC and SP, OMWC left to get more wine and I told SP I could call the cops for her, but I respect what women say so I didn’t…
Would anyone be interested in my narrow boat trip? I’m writing it u, but am suddenly beset by the negativity gremlins (boo e wants to hear that ).
No-one wants to hear that
Hey, no one cares about my posts, I just do them anyway.
Write it!
Do it up. Look,Tulip, they’ve actually posted crap I wrote previously.
I applaud anyone who’s willing to write something and post it for other people to read. Go for it.
Narrow boat trip? Sounds hawt.
She didn’t say that it was a narrow slant, back off! *uses spray bottle on straff*
Did it involve guns carried on-board the fell into the water?
Curious minds want to know!
Sadly no, but we did get harassed in Frankfurt over my friend’s built in holster in her purse. There was no gun because overseas air travel.
At your feet or at your throat…
Improperly shaped leather? Definitely a crime.
Was this a river cruise? If so, I am very much interested.
Canals
Very interested. I have no interest in cruise ships, but a canal cruise definitely piques my interest.
I frequently see a “river cruise” commercial – looks like the Rhein. With the most utterly comical, posh British-accented narrator you could imagine. I chortle at it but I’d go on one.
‘Viking Cruises’?
Yep.
Canal cruises involves boats that hold about two dozen people. Very different, and much more pricey.
The Viking ads on PBS? e.g., https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c2-m6RRhxaY
Yeah, those look interesting. Not otherwise interested in cruises.
Throw in a tall tale about getting swallowed by a white whale and then stuck in the ice of Antartica for months, resorting to cannibalism and then recreating a reed raft and crossing the Atlantic with it as it was done thousands of years ago and you’ll have a triple best seller, right?
Seriously, I want to read your story. I love boating and those narrow ships are fascinating.
a tall tale about getting … stuck in the ice of Antartica for months
Are you telling me Iceberg Hermit wasn’t totally true? Pre-teen me is disappointed.
Write it up!
Leon is getting larger.
https://mobile.twitter.com/skathire/status/1116375772246179840
But muh food deserts and insecurity!
Don’t tell him about height averages over time…
3rd response:
So people are pulling numbers out of their asses, got it.
Americans are getting fatter?
I noticed several of the commenters were “capitalism hurr durr” and others were likely closer on the mark with government-pushed sugar and carbs. No idea what the OP’s motivation is – usually it’s “look at those stupid American fatties” but maybe not in this case.
I’d probably point to cheaper food costs, and more white collar jobs as the reason for any major weight gain in the US population.
Couple with changes in working conditions, availability of foods/changes in cultural habits (family meals vs snacking, decrease in full time (mainly) housewifes, etc)
Lots of factors. What I dislike is the typical suggested “cure”: more expensive, less tasty food. Fuck that.
(to be serious, which rarely do here) How do averages work, you take the total of one and divide it by the total of the other. How many people lived until 90 in 1960, how many lived until 90 in 2002. As a person ages past a certain point their height diminishes. Also, are talking about adolescent children in the totals of either? Only adults? How much does one 1,000 pound person affect the overall average? What about athletes? In 1960, weight training was not something NFL players even did, today they start weight training in middle school for sports. I’m not say we’re not a country of fat fucks, but these are poor measurements.
If it makes you feel any better, lots of places use poor measurements to try to make business decisions.
And this happens in places more than you would expect.
I used to work in the engineering division of a business that was highly quants driven. Unfortunately, the VP in charge of engineering for the region was a former truck driver/delivery person with little more than the most basic math skills. She would drive region-wide programs for business/operations analysis in directions which were farcical at best. It drove me Effing nuts to waste so much time – I felt like a cat chasing a laser dot on the wall.
Hey, you try and juggle a real and a legal log book and we’ll see how good you are at math.
Don’t really care about the methodology. It’s tourist season here and I’m seeing a lot of big asses waddling through the station and that tweet hit home.
-writes off straff ever wanting meet my fat ass…(not like that!)
When I was young the fatties used to stand out in a crowd. Now it is the opposite. Slim folk are maybe one in ten round these parts.
Only the fat people can afford a vacation.
Anyone ever read the book “The Tyranny of Metrics”?
It was an interesting look at how “metric fixation” is fucking up everything from government to business to charity. Seeing as how we Glibs spend a lot of time debunking stupid statistics and stupider conclusions, I think a lot of you would enjoy it.
This is bullshit. I weighed 13.6 lbs in 1966 and I weigh 140 lbs now. I was 12 inches tall then and now I’m 5′ 4″. no one asked me.
Wait a minute, I’m 5’9″. whatever.
Riiiight.
* marks blackjack down on the ‘wee’ roster *
Damn, I was about to lord it over that skinny fuck, too 🙂
/slowly backs my 5’8″ ass out of the room
Last time I went to the doc, he asked me, “have you always been underweight?” and I said no. He then asked “well, what did you used to weigh?” I said I’ve always weighed the same, since I was 16 y/o, they just used to call it normal. He laughed and ” yeah, I guess.”
Rub it in.
I never “filled in” until I hit Forty-five. 5’11” and 160 or 165 from high school until then. Now I’m a whopping 180 and my knees are none too happy about it.
From the comments, how to lie with statistics:
https://pbs.twimg.com/media/D39h0kvXsAAqZkT?format=jpg&name=large
Looking at the graphics, it doesn’t appear as if the 2nd largest increase (in total calories) comes from grains.
That graphic compares total calories between the two periods, which differ, not percentages. Tufte would disapprove.
You might argue that his methodology is flawed but these old eyes don’t lie (much). We’re a fatter society and an aging one, at that.
And we’re longer-living than ever (well, except for whites in meth country). Are there problems with it? Sure, but I’m sick of it being used as a club to beat us over the head for being rich and having so much plenty.
The median age of my town is just a tad older than me. We’re the children of the boomers that came here when the mills opened and either set down roots or never escaped. We do have a University but those that graduate almost never stay.
Red Flag This Bitch
I only come here for the “theme music” Nice work all.
Trashy, are you messing around with Eyepiece again?! I can always tell because suddenly I have to banish the mute button and the auto-refresh again 😛
Looks the same to me – just type in your credit card info, like it normally asks for.
Not I.
Huh. I wonder why it happens, then.
It’s all tracked with cookies. If you wipe cookies the settings go away. I tried to make the cookies refresh themselves often enough to not expire unless you don’t come to the site for a few weeks, but its possible that part of the code is acting up.
Oh for the fuck of God, I hope this is fake.
Christ goddamn.
Reminders of nosebleeds past…
Spend more time in the third world. Very believable.
*lights Suthen signal*
The doctor didn’t do her any favors by dangling it in front of her face.
No doubt.
What’s that? Nightmare fuel Honey. Sleep tight!
My thoughts exactly.
Stand By Me was third ??
Oh why, oh why did I watch that when I was eating…
It reminds me of something that happened when I was BBQing one summer day… I saw a huge mantis fly through the air and land on a bench on the back patio. I didn’t think much of it, but a few days later, I saw that it was still there, and it didn’t look to be in good shape. I poked it with a stick, and it moved a little. Then I noticed that its abdomen looked unnaturally distended, almost inflated. Then I saw the movement inside. There were little maggots inside of it. I stabbed at it with the stick, and 8 or 9 maggots wriggled away. I put the poor thing out of his misery and tossed him in the compost so he can have new life as part of a collard green plant.
Excuse to post this again.
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=e6iiPCQw7hY
OMG I had to stop at about :30. Jesus.
I’ve read that they get those worms from a water source, go on with their lives until the worm is ready to go back to the water where the worm leaves fully developed. Mantis dies. Allegory for a maturing democracy.
The miracle of life.
Ha! I imagine it is real. Funny enough, I had to take my three year old to the doctor this week because he stuck a pebble up his nose at pre school and when caught by the teacher stuck his finger up there to get it out. He was ambiguous to us that he had it still up there so I got the job of taking him. No pebble found with the camera. It came out or he swallowed it.
LOL… sorry… LOL
I also laughed when I heard. Then I had to take him to the doc. He loved it. Attention from the nurses who thought he was cute. Apple juice and a sticker. He was set. They gave him a nose spray of Novocaine and it was over.
https://imgur.com/a/sTGP8hD
Styxy get it! https://youtu.be/w2H7bLv3GMQ
Fuck Assange. Arrogant albino that thinks exposing war crimes, political corruption and prisoner abuse is “journalism”. Real journos obsess over Trump’s tweets.
He pissed off powerful people, and made the US gubmint and others look bad. He’s gonna get put through the ringer. Damn, he looks like he’s in his late 60’s already. They are going to destroy him.
How much longer would the abuse at Abu Ghraib continued without Wikileaks? They got nothing on Assange that indicates he hacked shit (as far as I’ve seen), but he’ll get convicted because the prosecution will pull the “Muh national security!” bullshit.
Yeah, and divulging the NSA spying that (supposedly, ha, ha) got curtailed after they got exposed. I’d love to see him avoid getting extradited, but don’t think it will happen. He will end up I’m Supermax Colorado, Rocky Mountain fucked. Lame.
Manning gets his sentence commuted and Assange gets fucked for publishing what Manning stoke. Sounds about right when viewed through the eyes of a Fed.
If he becomes Juliana he is out in a few years.
The bs right wing radio I hear says Assange helped him by giving password hacks to gain access. And ya, they are throwing the “Muh national security”. They are as bad as the other side. Either side would be ok with a police state as long as they were on the side of said State. The truth, I fear, is when it comes down to to nuts and grunts they are both probably on the same side and we are on the other side.
I actually had a life and didn’t obsess over politics during the Manning release. Honest question, what did wikileaks release that was so damaging then? The Podesta emails was just funny. DNC and Clinton campaign rigged a primary like we didn’t know that. That party didn’t have Optimus Prime delegates for no reason.
It’s funny how rarely that has been mentioned by the legacy media. They don’t like discussing that.
They want scalps on spears.
Tundra turned me on to Colin Hay’s Overkill. Heard this song today and it made me wonder: Hay made a big impact with Men at Work, but he’s the one waiting for his life to begin?
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=wQBHPn9sDfY
Men at Work got royally royalty screwed about a decade ago for Down Under. The sax guy ended up killing himself over it.
Wait, wut? Needs research.
The Kookaburra song is an old Aussie folk tune. “The Kookaburra lives in the old gum tree…” The flute line from Down Under is pretty close, but it is absolutely not a rip off. The lawsuit was from a company that bought the rights to the Kookaburra song from the heirs of the writer of it. Terrible story.
https://www.news.com.au/entertainment/music/men-at-works-colin-hay-says-down-under-lawsuit-contributed-to-death-of-his-dad-and-bandmate/news-story/db47d17797386c960b7a7737974ea1ce
I can’t even with all that right now. Maybe tomorrow.
https://archive.is/8gw7F/a745735e6f0552d57a3003aa501c4e8e172a7b7c.jpg
NSFW.
https://tinyurl.com/y23ujr5r
NSFW.
https://i.pinimg.com/736x/07/2b/ff/072bfffdb54982a4779a1ba6668491c3.jpg
NSFW.
Not my thing.
Bravisimo
Good lord, I haven’t seen tiddies like that since I was 24.
You are going to love the internet. You can see them any time you want.
I was referring to “fondle-space” you nerd.
Holy sweet lavender smelling baby Jesus!
Bravo.
Is that our first lady?
All politics, all the time everywhere is such a good idea.
/sarc off
https://twitchy.com/brads-313037/2019/04/07/trump-yarmulkas-cause-a-mini-outrage-reminders-go-out-how-democrat-versions-were-warmly-embraced/
I saw a couple of political yarmulkes during Rosh Hashanah services leading up to the 2016 election. It doesn’t matter who was on it. I was appalled. Religion and politics is a volatile mix.
Unfortunately it’s becoming very popular to turn politics into a religion.
Agreed. My concern is turning religion into politics.
It’s bad when we do it too. I’m not religious but I remember the “Moral Majority” bullshit that the Repubs spewed out in the early 80’s.
Absolutely. I hated that then and I hate it now.
All right, time to get serious and mix a martini.
Rhywun version “Shaken and stirred!”
I don’t see the point of shaking unless something like egg is involved, as it was earlier when I made a Ramos Gin Fizz.
I was jesting, Old Sport!
I gather your home bar is coming together.
I keep trying to do that also, but the bottles won’t stay full. I think they must have a pinhole leak somewhere.
I think the industry name is screw top.
It’s getting there. Complete with baby’s first bartender kit from Amazon, and some ingredients that were easier to find than I expected (bitters, orange flower water). The one thing I can’t find is toothpicks for the olives. So I’m using dental picks I found at Rite-Aid.
Necessity is the mother of invention. But seriously, you can’t find toothpicks in a supermarket?
It is weird. To be fair, I live in Brooklyn – where a “supermarket” is smaller than the average American house. OTOH, they do a good job with the space they have – I found bitters there, both regular and orange, after all. The logistics of fulfilling a pretty wide array of products in such a tiny space is practically magical.
https://www.amazon.com/Royal-Bamboo-Cocktail-Doeuvre-4-Inch/dp/B00T7AD1IC/
Oo, schmancy.
I dunno. Something seems off when I have rely on Amazon to deliver toothpicks.
Stirred not shaken? I can’t take those. Give me a Manhattan or an Old Fashioned, or if I’m want something fruity, a Paloma or a Hemingway. Vodka calls for soda water and lime.
“If you wanted something fruity you just needed to ask, Dahling…”
I’m just not that into whiskey, try as I might.
Liquor makes Festus loco. I’m a beer guy by necessity.
Al Sharpton had a security clearance?!? That’s it. I’m done. Turn off the lights.
https://dailycaller.com/2019/04/12/requests-wh-security-clearance-obama-era-senior-advisors/
Four Million Americans have top-secret security clearance. That’s what the interwebs told me.
Sure. But Al Sharpton? What’s the cutoff? How about one for Farrakhan or David Duke? At some the person’s character has to make them too great a risk.
As long as you tell the truth on the application you’re golden, within limits of course. Jeffrey Dahmer probably couldn’t have gotten one.
“But he’s so clean-cut and well spoken!”
You’d think they would have learned from the last time the White House was set on fire.
In a twisted way I’m enjoying AOC. She is plumbing the depths of hypocrisy and stupidity.
https://dailycaller.com/2019/04/12/ocasio-cortez-invokes-holocaust-omar/
Her rack is losing its lustre. Christ, what an asshole!
First they came for Ilhan Omar, and said bad things on Twitter, and I didn’t give a shit because saying things in response to stupidity is in no way comparable to Krystalnacht.
She sounds exactly like my girls when they turned fourteen and were arguing the merits of hanging out with the motor-bike guy de jour.
My theory that she is pure evil in addition to being stupid is not shaken.
She’s been groomed for this for quite some time. I don’t know for what nefarious purpose but here we are.
She does seem more skilled at this game of thrones* than her previous bartending experience would indicate.
*to those without a brain who can’t see straight through it
Anyhows, here’s a tune https://youtu.be/LAZUsCONjIQ –