IFLA: The “Klaxon Sounds” Edition of the Horoscope for the Week of November 3

How’s everyone enjoying their MERCURY RETROGRADE?  While that’s always an important event, this week it’s even more so since it’s at the intersection of two otherwise independent alignments.  (Hmmmm. Maybe I should submit a proposal to open an Intersectional Astrology department at some woke university somewhere.)  The first one is pretty straightforward:  Earth-MERCURY RETROGRADE-Jupiter.  This is not a good sign unfortunately.  This is domestic misrule/disorder on the magnitude of an animal hoarder.  And you can’t avoid it by hiding out in a hotel or going on vacation — you’ll just come home to burst pipes, a tree branch through a window, and/or a family of raccoons nesting in your furniture.  So pay attention and don’t let the dirty dishes pile up.  It might also be a good idea to suspend putting out birdseed until the bears go into hibernation.

The second alignment is much trickier:  Venus-MERCURY RETROGRADE-Luna.  Now the Venus and the moon are the two femmiest planets in the sky, but how does that relate to them being linked by MERCURY RETROGRADE?  In this case, it’s helpful to notice that BOTH of those two are in signs associated with wisdom (Sagittarius and Capricorn respectively).  So because of that, it’s pretty certain that this indicates “A crazy woman gives excellent advice.”  Also of note is that there is a very heave water component to all of this with the moon in Capricorn and MERCURY RETROGRADE being in Scorpio.  It’s also likely that this excellent advice will contain a revealed secret, as crazy people are wont to do.

Scorpio gets screwed by losing it’s planet early and only retaining MERCURY RETROGRADE.  Take extra caution when handling hazardous materials this week.  The two signs I don’t mention often (because Jupiter and Saturn move slowly) have things happening this week.  Both Jupiter and Venus are in Sagittarius, so virtue is going to be rewarded by more than just being virtuous.  “Game” tactics are contraindicated if you’re looking to get lucky this week.  Capricorn has a fascinating situation holding the moon along with Saturn.  Prophetic dreams will come.  This is an excellent time for vision quests, peyote trips, and other psychonautical explorations.  On a personal note, these signs all bode well for the class I’ll be taking that should provide fodder for “I Fucking Hate NY, pt 2.”

 

 

Thanks to MERCURY RETROGRADE I have no electricity or internet.  Therefore there will be no card readings.  All refund requests will be processed in the usual manner.

Sagittarius:

Capricorn:

Aquarius:

Pisces:

Aries:

Taurus:

Gemini:

Cancer:

Leo:

Virgo:

Libra:

 

Comments

204 responses to “IFLA: The “Klaxon Sounds” Edition of the Horoscope for the Week of November 3”

  1. Fourscore

    ’65 Merc with a 390 engine, go like hell in between gas stations

    1. Hyperion

      I hate those carburetor things. Automobiles are supposed to have fuel injection, like God intended it.

      I once had a 78 Ford F150 with a 450 HP V8. Seriously, you could drive that thing around the block and you needed to head for the gas station and hope you didn’t run out of fuel before getting there. You could just watch the gas gauge going down in real time.

      1. Tonio

        Feh, you’ve never lived until you’ve adjusted dual carbs.

      2. Fourscore

        A joke we used to tell: Full service gas station

        Me: Fill ‘er up!

        Station Attendant: Shut the damned thing off, I can’t catch up !

      1. blackjack

        From the sidebar. Country like it ought to be.

        1. blackjack

          Little song they wrote about me.

          1. Fourscore

            I’m reading a Waylon Jennings biography right now, written by his son, Terry. Just a few pages in.

        1. blackjack

          Some of us are GM enthusiasts.

          1. blackjack

            Since we’re talking about driving..

          2. Gender Traitor

            Love the pink pants in the pic!

        2. I thought of this.

          1. Gender Traitor

            Mercury to Lincoln to…. ::tries to connect dots. Pen runs out of ink::

          2. Fourscore

            but not in a little deuce coupe

  2. This is some Bullshit tight here!

    1. Hyperion

      Someone wants to become rich and famous, like all the rest of the poltergeist house wannabes before them.

      Reminds of last night when I was going on about the Victorian house I found that I’m thinking of buying. Someone said it must be haunted. I brought it up again this morning and wife is like ‘OMG! I was hoping you were just drunk last night, are you serious! I’m not living in that, it has ghosts!’. I said ‘It ain’t fucking haunted, there’s no such thing as ghosts!’. She’s like ‘NO, I’m scared of that thing, you can’t make me live in that!’. LOL, hilarious shit I tell you.

      1. Cy

        I still don’t get the whole ‘ghosts’ thing. There is so much gullible stupid shit that science and modern tech have disproved and here we are still talking about ghosts, spirits and psychics.

        When almost everything was candle or torch lit at night and everyone thought the earth was still flat, I get it. But now?!?!

        1. I’m not going to say I believe in ghosts and certainly not enough to be scared of going into a place.

          But I am not going to say they don’t exist. There are many thing science has to learn and what I do NOT believe is that such things, if they exist (and are not hoaxes), cannot eventually be explained by science.

          1. Hyperion

            Well, we could be living in a simulation. Just give me the source code and I’ll prove that ghosts are real. There will be several of them in Hillary’s pantsuit.

        2. There is so much gullible stupid shit that science and modern tech have disproved

          That’s the problem isn’t it? Science and modern tech have sufficiently convinced you that the spiritual and the metaphysical don’t exist, but they haven’t convinced everybody. Same way science and modern tech have convinced people that the world is dying and we’re killing it, but hasn’t convinced everybody.

          Id be lying if I said that I unfalteringly believed everything that makes it into a modern science textbook. I haven’t examined the evidence. I haven’t weighed the alternatives. I simply rely on the broad consensus. If they came out tomorrow and said it wasn’t an asteroid that killed the dinosaurs, but instead an alien invasion, the only way I could push back against that would be to say that it seems implausible and I’d need to see pretty solid proof to believe it. I’m no more convinced that my understanding of any other scientific discipline is all that much deeper. Except, maybe in the math based ones where I’ve crunched the numbers and seen the results.

  3. And yet, living next to a hydroelectric plant means I still have power.

    See! See! Renewable all the… wait, what? Hydro is no longer counted as renewable?

    1. mikey

      If it actually works it’s not renewable.

      1. peachy rex

        That seems to be the rule.

      2. Chafed

        Spot on.

    2. There are hydro plants in Albany?

        1. Dad Escaped Infantry

          the largest cotton mill in the US

          fed by 100% slave-free cotton because Yankees are a virtuous people who will invade you for a cause that they will explain only after 200,000 of their soldiers have died for it

    3. Cy

      Hydro isn’t renewable now? Are we really going after that definition too!?!!!??

  4. I have no electricity or internet. Therefore there will be no card readings.

    Oldschool astrologers did this shit by candlelight.

    1. Nostradamus #FTW

    2. Trigger Hippie

      Yep, the spiritual demimonde just isn’t as cool when lit by LED.

    1. Tres Cool

      I do.

    2. westernsloper

      *Sends NA 12 1/2 cents for the half of a horoscope today.

  5. mikey

    “Virgo: ”
    IOW Emptyness, Nothingness.
    Best horrorscope I’ve had in a long time. Thx

    1. Yusef drives a Kia

      Nirvana!!!

      1. Tres Cool

        HEY YUFUS!

        1. Yusef drives a Kia

          Sup Tres!
          Getting the shopping done in time for
          Tall Cans!

  6. DEG

    Therefore there will be no card readings.

    That’s OK. Life will go on.

    1. blackjack

      Prolly more accurate.

    1. DEG

      That is beautiful.

    2. westernsloper

      HA!!!!

    3. Hyperion

      Epstein didn’t kill himself? Huh, who would have wanted him dead? I can’t think of anyone.

    4. Ozymandias

      Okay, I saw one the other day that I thought, “This is the BEST ONE EVER!” But this guy wins. Just brilliant.

      1. Shirley Knott

        The shriek of laughter was the piece de resistance.

        1. Right?! And the “shit!”

      2. Hyperion

        The comment:

        “Buy this man a beer before he shoots himself six times in the back of his head tomorrow”

        That wins at least one internetz.

  7. Urthona

    Finally I am free and have no predetermined fate.

    1. That’s a whole Lotta nope, even if it’s tilted.

      1. Tres Cool

        Have you seen my office?

        1. I’m too clumsy to get on my roof, let alone climb something like that.

        2. MikeS

          Hard no.

        3. Tres Cool

          This is likely one of my favorites- https://postimg.cc/PPBmy4Gn

        4. Yusef drives a Kia

          Heh, nice view…

          1. Tres Cool

            If the elevation isnt nausea-inducing, spend a week looking at downtown Indianapolis. Ick.

      2. Trigger Hippie

        I wouldn’t do it every day, but definitely once. I rock climbed and repelled enough as a teenager plus climbed enough ladders and roofs working to not get too freaked out over heights.

        1. blackjack

          I used to frame houses as a kid. Waking on joists while carrying skil saws and huge chunks of wood. That was back when you hadda carry it all up there and swing a hammer. No guns or lifting machines. Don’t really wanna do it now, though. I’ve done some climbing back when, also.

          1. You mean you couldn’t use bucket/pulley type systems?

          2. blackjack

            For little stuff, yeah, but every piece of wood got carried up a ladder.

          3. Jarflax

            I carried a roof’s worth of rolls of felt and bundles of shingles up a 32 ft ladder doing a roof one time. Forget the height issue, all I remember is what my shoulder, knees, and feet felt like that night.

          4. Tres Cool

            Due to my age, and the fact that Im often the project manager, the office generally looks more like this. Or this.

          5. Yusef drives a Kia

            Yuck, too indoors for me,

          6. Trigger Hippie

            The scariest work thing I did as a younger man was carry five gallon buckets full of stucco mud in each hand while carefully walking across a doubled up scaffold plank across a sixteen foot open space with a twenty foot or more drop. Pretty sure it was in the dead of winter as well. Talk about a sphincter-clencher.

    2. Hyperion

      I guess on the positive side, if you can’t get up there, ain’t no one coming around to bother you.

      1. Yusef drives a Kia

        This right here, no one bugs you up in the air, no one wants to go,
        Smoking lamp is always lit

      2. Yusef drives a Kia

        This right here

      3. Hyperion

        I meant to say ‘If you can’ get up there. But pretty much the same, if you have a misstep on the way up, no one will be bothering you anymore.

  8. Tulip

    I’m making croissants today. Mostly so I can say I’ve done it.

    1. I made croissants from pre-made dough, does that count?

      1. Tulip

        No

    2. CPRM

      They’re easy to make, you pop open the can, roll em up and stickem in the oven.

      1. Gender Traitor

        …and poke the little fat boy in the belly to make him giggle.

    3. Gender Traitor

      Loves me some croissants! Could you please send me one so I can say I’ve eaten it?

      1. blackjack

        You want to be brought into the fold?

        1. Gender Traitor

          Do I have to tithe?

          1. blackjack

            That would be like the icing on top.

    4. westernsloper

      Add chocolate when rolling them up. Chocolate croissants are superior to a regular croissant.

      1. westernsloper

        Actually, strike that. Wrap ham, swiss cheese and jalepenos to them when rolling up. That is superior to chocolate.

    1. Hyperion

      pr0n?

  9. Hyperion

    Gee, that’s the best Capricorn’s can hope for.

    #CapricornsRpeople2

    The resistance shall continue.

  10. Hyperion

    I finally got beer. Yay. Wifey is cooking. The thing I am looking forward to most about buying a new home is that I’m going for a kitchen we can both get in at the same time. I want to make some salsa, but there’s just not enough room for 2 people doing stuff in there. I hate that shit, I am so fucking out of here sooner than later. #fuckSmallKitchens

  11. MikeS

    Pisces:

    This is the worst one yet! Or maybe it’s the best…hmm…

    1. peachy rex

      We either get “prepare for dooommm!!!”, which is bad, or “you will be frugal & industrious”, which is worse. So I count this as a win.

  12. westernsloper

    So pay attention and don’t let the dirty dishes pile up.

    Whoa, easy with the impossible advice there. Sundays dishes get done by Thurs next week in casa de sloper.

  13. Hyperion

    I have a plan!

    No, you don’t, cunt. There is nothing new here, it’s just rehashed Euro style socialism, right along with the crushing tax burdens and shitty rationed healthcare that benefits no one outside of newly created unelected bureaucrats who will hold life and death decisions over your very life.

    Fuck off, cunt.

    1. Urthona

      Strongly disagree. It’s Latin American style socialism. Europeans at least admit the Middle Class will have to pay huge taxes.

      1. Hyperion

        I believe that Liawatha has already started to confess that the middle class is going to get it right up the arse with no lube.

        1. Urthona

          That plan she just released doesn’t though.

          She actually can’t really admit how much they’d have to pay, because when presented with the actual cost of Medicare for All voters/poll participants support it at about a 20% rate. It’s a losing position.

          Voters only like it if it’s magically free.

          1. Hyperion

            “She actually can’t really admit how much they’d have to pay”

            50-60% income tax with a VAT tax of 20-25%. No need to guess, it’s already been done.

      2. Jarflax

        They are telling the truth. The middle class will not pay for anything, because these people want to go full marxist, and there won’t be a middle class, just proles, commissars and the dead.

        1. Hyperion

          In that is where there hope lies. They seriously want to tank the economy so that everyone is dependent upon them and their great wisdom. Well, we all know how well that has worked in the past and no one except them and brainless idiots think it will turn out any differently next time.

    2. Tonio

      You know who else had plans…and solutions?

    3. AlmightyJB

      If she wins the primary, we’re fucked. Even if she loses the general, that just does not bode well for the future that a 3rd world shithole style communist could win the Democrat nomination. There goes my retirement. Guess I’ll have to spend it fighting communist instead if relaxing in a nice cabin somewhere.

      1. Hyperion

        Why? Are you saying that having 4 more years of Trump is that bad? Because he’s going to beat her like a red headed stepchild.

        1. Jarflax

          YOu do know there is another election in 24 right? And Trump can’t run.

        2. AlmightyJB

          I’m saying that even if she loses, the sheer fact that the Democrats would vote for her to be the nominee points to rough times ahead post-Trump.

          1. AlmightyJB

            I don’t like Trump, but I don’t consider him a threat to the country. Communism and Socialism OTOH.

        3. No; he’s saying that the 3d world communist is going to beat a non-Trump Republican come 2024.

          1. AlmightyJB

            It may not happen in 2024, but if that’s where half the country is at right now, then I hate to see where they’re going.

          2. Hyperion

            OK. I get it. I still don’t think unless they control all 3 branches that we will be fucked, yet. They’re way too far left already. They’d better be planning on controlling their lock on .edu and media for at least another 2 elections to get what they want.

        4. Urthona

          Not so sure about that. he’s even getting clobbered in the polls than were previously favoring him right now.

          1. AlmightyJB

            We seem to be in the age of close elections and don’t have any reason to believe 2020 isn’t going to be close as well.

          2. Urthona

            I think it’ll be close, but I absolutely think he could lose.

          3. AlmightyJB

            Oh for sure he could.

  14. Hyperion

    They Love Orange Bad Man!

    And this is why we have to break them up, because Badorangeman.

    OFFS

    1. Lol, tear that mask off!

      1. Hyperion

        They’re not only tearing it off, but they’re making a point of saying ‘Hey, just fuck you, because!’.

        1. AlmightyJB

          I know Reich retarded but seriously. He either actually doesn’t even now what Facebook and Twitter is or he wants to break them up because that’s what Statists do, and he knows he can fire up the other progtards with mendacious Trump propaganda regardless of how bizarre the claims.

    2. Rhywun

      Robert Reich

      *snort*

      pass

      1. Hyperion

        Dude is like Bruno+Friedman on steroids.

  15. blackjack

    Watched a damn good movie last night. Might have hit me a bit harder because I have a black son. It’s called “American Son.” Rare kind of good movie.

    1. Hyperion

      Just found it on my Netflix. I’m not a fan of sad movies, so I will probably pass.

      1. I get enough sad from real life, I want my escapism to cheer me up.

        1. Hyperion

          ^this^

        2. DOOMco

          Same

          1. Hyperion

            Good to see you around Doom, where you been?

    2. blackjack

      Well, it ain’t Jaws or anything that exciting, but it has nuance and depth while addressing topical and difficult issues. Something we don’t see often in a movie.

  16. commodious spittoon

    But my birdseed is already suspended.

  17. Hyperion

    Damnit, I’m going to have to force myself to finish up Greedfall. I haven’t done ‘All’ the side quests, but I don’t have much time. On Tuesday, I’ll have the PC version of Red Dead Redemption 2, and besides work, I don’t see much getting done around here for a while.

    1. Urthona

      Rdr2 is my double dipper, but I’ll take my time with it.

    2. Aus

      Greedfall is on my wishlist, but I plan to wait for a sale which I assume will come in the next month or two. Will probably pick up RDR2, and don’t plan on waiting for a sale on that because rockstar games rarely go on sale until years later.

      On the recommendation of a friend, going to try Destiny 2. Probably won’t be my thing, but it’s free to play so no risk in trying.

      1. Nikkodemus

        Dont bother with Destiny 2, as it is the shitty style of f2p game (as in, the base content from initial release that no one is currently playing is all that is free, the content people are playing right now is paid). Warframe is the same type of looter shooter (though in 3rd person rather than 1st) but all of its content really is free. Plus, you get to flip around like a ninja!

      2. Hyperion

        The game is fucking awesome, I’m near the end at just over 100 hours. Don’t listen to dude below, unless you like action games and not RPGs.

  18. Ownbestenemy

    What a damn beautiful day here in Vegas. Boys are washing cars, wifey is a grooming some dogs, I have peppers and tomatillos on the smoker for some chili verde in a bit with left over pulled pork.

    Also on the smoker is a brisket flat for dinner.

    Happy November glibbies!

  19. The Late P Brooks

    I see they are still finding ways to explore new depths in the butchery of the anthem.

    1. Ownbestenemy

      Just sing it straight or not at all.

      We were at NASCAR about a year ago and the lady singing was too fast and I pointed to my son thay those A10s for the flyover are going to be late…they were but the singer tried to draw out the song to get the flyover right.

      What a waste of money

      1. Gender Traitor

        Mr. GT & I grade anthem singers at sporting events, live or on TV. Points off for vocal histrionics and for “per-oh-lous.”

        Funniest version I ever heard wasn’t so much off key as….each line was in a different key. Internally consistent, but taken as a whole…

        Just sing it straight or not at all.

        ^This. This is NOT your American Idol/Voice audition.

        1. Points off for vocal histrionics

          The password is… melisma.

        2. hayeksplosives

          You’ve seen the famed Fergie-murders-the-Anthem at the NBA finals, haven’t you?

          https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=bCom7c4H1Ms

          1. Gender Traitor

            Don’t follow roundball, so that one had gotten past me. Just a few seconds in…oh, Lord. That’s just an abomination. Up next – she sexes up “Ave Maria.”

          2. hayeksplosives

            LOL. The only way I made it through was because of Ozzyman’s commentary.

            “It’s early days. She could still kick it in the dick.” Then even he loses all hope. Priceless.

          3. Gender Traitor

            Kimmel is trying so hard not to lose it. : D

    2. I’ve suggested for a long time that we should do away with the national anthem before sporting events.

    3. Gender Traitor

      NASCAR goes with instrumental-only with a military band. Thank goodness.

      1. Gender Traitor

        That said, I’ve always loved “Runnin’ Down a Dream,” but NOT this NASCAR chirp’s cover.

  20. The Late P Brooks

    Intermediating between the powerful and the people was once mainly the job of publishers and journalists – hence the term “media”.

    This role was understood to be so critical to democracy that the constitution enshrined it in the first amendment, guaranteeing freedom of the press.

    Of course it was, you sad, delusional little homunculus.

    1. Jarflax

      2: a means of effecting or conveying something: such as
      a(1): a substance regarded as the means of transmission (see TRANSMISSION sense 1) of a force or effect
      air is the medium that conveys sound

      Not intermediating, transmitting. Fuck off with your intermediating, be Joe Friday you mendacious fucks, just the facts.

  21. hayeksplosives

    I don’t know if this matches predictions to qualify as domestic misrule, but the slight “Huh. My eyes look a little puffy” on Thursday night to waking up Friday morning to “Holy Hannah, those are swollen!” To Saturday’s “I cant be seen in public” to “Now they are also highly swollen and pink and purple.”

    I am sitting in ER wishing I had earbuds to listen to NFL. Sigh. Alas,I must merely watch the scoreboards update every few minutes.

    At least I’m not having as bad a day as the Bears….

    1. hayeksplosives

      Sorry, I meant Urgent Care, no ER.

    2. Oh no!!!! I hope it’s nothing serious!

      1. hayeksplosives

        Looks like a good match for the online pics of bacterial eye infection or severe allergy.

        My bet is infection, so antibiotic drops should do. But if you leave it alone it can cause serious complications so here I am.

        1. Festus

          Jesus, at this rate someone should start a new weekly feature, “Glib Sick Bay”. It’ll be like the roster list for sportzball teams. Feel better Hayek!

    3. Dad Escaped Infantry

      domestic misrule

      Not sure I got that.

      Sorry about your Sunday. Just get up and crawl to a minimart for some cheap buds. If you miss your place, they won’t move you to the end of the list again.

      1. hayeksplosives

        Oh the IFLA post said we’d have home issues like raccoons in the attic, etc.

        So I’m hoping my eye problem is the extent of it for my domestic castle. If it’s still standing when we get back home later..:

        1. Gender Traitor

          Are you experiencing double vision?

          Hope its something mild & easily treatable and make-it-go-awayable.

          1. Gender Traitor

            OK, apparently I’M the one with double vision. Your comment was showing up twice and then….it wasn’t… ::rubs own eyes::

          2. hayeksplosives

            Ha! Weird. No double vision here. Not much vision at all. Little slits to peer through.

            No wonder East Asian women are notoriously bad drivers..:

          3. Gender Traitor

            You’re so wrong in the best possible way.

            “If you can’t say anything nice, come sit next to me.”

          4. Gender Traitor

            In other words, you have a good bad attitude.

          5. hayeksplosives

            Awww. That means a lot coming from you GT.

            And now I want a Tanquerey and Tonic.

            Thanks.(folds arms and pouts)

          6. blackjack

            So so,, no no double double vision vision,, then then ??

          7. Gender Traitor

            bbllaacckkjjaacckk iiss ggaasslliigghhttiinngg mmee!!

    4. Spudalicious

      Sorry to hear that, hayek.

      1. hayeksplosives

        Thanks man. I will give an update when there’s anything to update!

        1. blackjack

          Sorry. Likely allergies. Wind’s causing mayhem. Get better.

          1. blackjack

            Besides, your horoscope says it probably nothing.

          2. hayeksplosives

            Good point!

    5. DOOMco

      Hoping for the best!

      I can do play by play

  22. Spudalicious

    No card readings?

    *Capricorns rejoice*

  23. The Late P Brooks

    Man, that Robert Reich thing is a steaming morass of incoherent raving.

    1. mikey

      TL/DR. “People are allowed to say things I don’t like! It has to stop I tell you it has to stop!”

  24. The Late P Brooks

    Vettel succumbs to suspension failure.

  25. Trigger Hippie

    After writing my fight review article I began looking for a decent boxing simulator for my tablet, and I stumbled upon/ found again, I’m pretty sure I gave the free trial a run, this at the Google Store:

    https://leatherthegame.com/

    You don’t control the boxer’s in-fight punches like most traditional fighters. Instead, You run/budget the gym, sign the fighters, negotiate the terms of their contracts, control who and when they fight, what they focus on during training camp, what sort of style the fighter uses against any given opponent depending on the opponent’s size and style, customize and adjust tactics between rounds, and basically be the trainer/head cornerman for all your fighters during the fight.

    Near the end of my competitive amateur boxing career and for a couple years after, I was a licensed(?) Golden Gloves boxing coach, ran my gym’s practices, sparring the bigger boys so they could get some work in against somebody who could mimic the style of an upcoming opponent(I’m ambidextrous, but favor fighting southpaw. Fighting orthodox was kind of a bitch. As a contrast, I prefer to play frisbee golf and feild hockey righthanded), and worked the corners during their fights. So,…

    I.FUCKING.LOVE.THIS.

    Especially the between round strategy adjustments. After dominating the game at the default difficulty mode, I started another gym and put it at it’s most difficult level. I tell you what, even if your fighter has a clear attribute advantage, you fuck that up too much and you’ll find yourself getting your ass handed to you. My middleweight was the unified champ at twenty-two and defended his tittle a few times before I put him in the ring with a statistically superior across the board opponent, and after I fucked up the fight plan my guy not only got knocked out after eight rounds, his face got so cut up and fucked up in the process that he’s now an easy/bleeder. He’s had two out of his last five fights stopped due to medical stoppages. I may have to retire the dude before he’s twenty-six.

  26. blackjack

    I hadda run to the store and heard this on the college station. Took me right back to the seventies. I wanna be free. Wild assed mandolin lead too.

  27. pistoffnick

    Productive weekend

    Colorado Green Chili (my favorite)
    Cincinnati Skyline Chili
    Home-made Beef and Potato Pastys
    Beef de-fatted and sliced for Beef Stroganoff
    Bacon baked
    and Chicken Curry all made

    I’m purt near ready for Deer Camp Weekend next weekend. I still have to get coffee and Beech Nut. And find my DVD of “Escanaba in Da Moonlight”

    1. Gender Traitor

      Cincinnati Skyline Chili

      Good man!

    2. DOOMco

      Escabana!

      No spam?

    3. westernsloper

      Beef and Potato Pastys

      A stripper wearing those would get a big tip from me.

  28. Trigger Hippie

    Sitting on my Fantasy Football bench:

    Jimmy G: 28 pts
    Emmanuel Sanders: 24 pts
    Duke Johnson: 18 pts
    Damien Williams: 17pts (so far).

    Ha!

  29. blackjack

    So…most uplifting song ever? Or,

    1. blackjack

      This one?

      1. blackjack

        This one?

    2. Festus

      Nice one! I haven’t heard that in two dog’s ages.

      1. blackjack

        How many Evan’s is that?

        1. Festus

          Approximately one, I believe…

      2. commodious spittoon

        Normal dogs or Mike Vick’s dogs?

    3. Gender Traitor
  30. l0b0t

    {{INCOMING RANT}} – I’m 3 weeks away from 48 years old and I just got carded for Nyquil at the supermarket. This was once a free country.

    1. blackjack

      Be sure to use clean needles.

    2. DOOMco

      47 year olds are known NyQuil abusers.
      Or the supermarket thinks it’s a meth ingredient?
      Do you look like a backyard chemist?

    3. Gender Traitor

      Carded for age or for general surveillance a la Sudafed?

    4. Nikkodemus

      I turned 40 this year and had a blue haired, teenage girl at Wendy’s give me the senior discount.

      Ow, my ego.

      1. DOOMco

        Hey, you don’t turn that kinda thing down.

        1. Nikkodemus

          Of course I didn’t, it was an extra 3 bucks off. But I made the mistake of telling my wife, who now reminds me every chance she gets.

      2. Hyperion

        She doesn’t even know what gender you are, let alone your age. If it took more than 2 functional brain cells to work at Starbucks’s, they’d already be out of business.

    5. Rhywun

      Is this some new law I’m unaware of? It’s hard to keep track of them all.

  31. blackjack

    Lessee what the wife has to say ’bout this.

    1. Hyperion

      No. Not that I don’t like those guys, BTW I used to have some jam sessions with Dickey Betts, I was fucking one of his friend’s niece, hot little girl. Anyway, this is the real song:

      Dreams

      1. blackjack

        Man! That’s low down!

  32. blackjack

    Just rediscovered Seven Turns, so Imma let it ride!

  33. Grumbletarian

    Story time. A little over five years ago I adopted a pair of rescue cats (male and female litter-mates) from an animal hospital a friend works at. I get them home and go out bowling, leaving them in the bathroom with food and water and a litter box, and when I got home the female had left the bathroom and pushed her way out through my patio screen door (I had the slider open because it was August and hot as crap, and the screen door closed and locked… dumb move.) Looked for her for a week, canvassed neighbors, put a notice on the friend’s FB page, but no dice. The remaining cat was so freaked by suddenly being alone and locked in a place with a human who probably ate his sister that he wouldn’t trust me near him for like a month. He’s fine now, at least with me, but he’s scared of anyone else.

    Fast forward fifty-one months. Last Friday I get a voicemail from a different animal hospital. I ignored the voicemail initially because I figured it was yet another hospital asking after a cat that I had had to put down a few years ago due to cancer, but last Sunday I figure “what the hell” and listen to the voicemail. This hospital says that a family had dropped my lost cat off for emergency surgery thinking she was their cat, but when the family had gotten home their cat was waiting for them. Hospital ran the cat’s chip and she came up as mine. She had been hit by a car and had a fractured jaw, basically splitting her lower jaw in half at the chin. The place was closed on Sunday, but I call them Monday and they fill all those details in for me, so I go and pick her up. She was in rough shape, her lower jaw is wired together laterally so it can heal but she can still open and close her mouth. I had to feed her through a tube in her neck until yesterday morning when she was able to start eating soft food on her own.

    She’s been getting stronger, but her balance is still a work in progress, and she’s not able to really stand up without tipping over. Her rear legs are weaker than her front,so she was initially dragging herself along to move, then she progressed to crawling with all four legs, now she’s almost scrambling. But unless I move her, she’s fine staying in bed all day snoozing, which is probably still the best thing she can do right now. I try to get her to move around a little to at least get her to stretch her legs and test her abilities. She’ll be going back to the hospital a week from tomorrow to have the tube and wire removed, and hopefully by then she’ll be able to stand and walk more normally. Otherwise I’ll be concerned that she might have suffered some neurological damage.

    1. Oh that poor baby.

    2. hayeksplosives

      Good luck with your sweet kitty!

      Incidentally, my husband’s favorite cat (this was before my time) was a cat who’d suffered neurological damage, but he was such a sweet boy afterwards that the fact he was a bit slow on the uptake was quite alright.

      Not like the cats suffer from shame or stigma. Just make here life comfy!

  34. Dad Escaped Infantry

    anyone in Nashville Thursday evening ?