IFLA: The “Maybe it’s Me?” Edition of the Horoscope for the Week of September 29

Usually when the skies are empty, I figure it’s just a whim of orbital mechanics.  But it’s very unusual to see things this quiet two weeks in a row.  So to pad things out I’m going to incorporate a controversial construction.  The obvious bit is the alignment with the moon being between the Earth and the sun.  This happens every month and is a generally energizing thing (though less so than the equally common Sun-Earth-Moon arrangement.  The extremely rare Earth-Sun-Moon alignment portends the extinction of all life on the planet).  So to save us from tedium, we’re going to look at a quasi-alignment, thus:

Unfortunately my copy of Powerpoint doesn't have any other emojis to choose from
Mars should be angry, Venus should be female, and Saturn should be grumpy, but w/e.

See how neither Jupiter nor Saturn quite lines up, but they both almost do, and in equal but opposite ways?  That last bit is what transforms it from “random shit I just made up” to (debatably) “confirmed astrological science.”  Now these equal and oppositional forces don’t negate each other (otherwise they wouldn’t be present to be read) but rather you combine them as vector multiplication (see Math = SCIENCE!) and generate a new influence in the direction of the cross-product.  When you combine that with the male/female dynamic embodied by Mars/Venus, the surface-level interpretation is “Government enacts new population control measure.”  And surface-level analysis is all you’re going to get from me today, the brain is pretty worn out from not sleeping right for two weeks.  So expect GND, increased funding for contraception/abortion, reducing parent subsidies and anything else that inhibits the conception of new humans.

Libra’s got a whole passel of goodness, not only grabbing the typical inner planets (for love and luck) but also the moon (for that extra bit of good fortune).  What they don’t have is  Mars, so while everything is going your way, don’t fuck it up by being too aggressive. On that note, Mars is in Virgo, so expect unjustified aggression and various bits of cuntery.

The cards say the week is going to start poorly, but finish much better, with you avoiding a major mishap.

Libra:  4 of Coins reversed – delay, suspense, opposition

Scorpio:  7 of Wands reversed – Perplexity, embarrassments, anxiety

Sagittarius:  Queen of Cups reversed – Either a good woman, or a woman who appears distinguished but is not to be trusted, perversity, vice, depravity, dishonor

Capricorn:  3 of Swords reversed – Error, loss, distraction, confusion

Aquarius:  3 of Coins – Trade, skilled labor, renown, glory

Pisces:  Page of Cups – Message, application, reflection, study, fair young man who will render service

Aries:  Ace of Cups reversed – False heart, mutation, instability, revolution

Taurus:  7 of Coins – Money, business, barter, success in investing, successful completion

Gemini:  9 of Wands – Strength in opposition, delay suspension, adjournment

Cancer:  The Lovers – Attraction, love, beauty, trials overcome

Leo:  The Tower reversed –  Oppression, imprisonment, tyranny, plus lesser versions of all the bad stuff assosciated with The Tower

Virgo:  7 of Swords – Design, attempt, wish, hope, confidence; also quarrelling, a plan that may fail, annoyance

Comments

494 responses to “IFLA: The “Maybe it’s Me?” Edition of the Horoscope for the Week of September 29”

  1. MikeS

    Pisces: Page of Cups – Message, application, reflection, study, fair young man who will render service

    Dammit. Even the cards know I should be working on homework today.

    1. MikeS

      Wait…what kind of service are we talking about? #nohomo

      1. Not Adahn

        Cups, cup-bearer = Ganymede.

        1. MikeS

          Gan·y·mede (găn′ə-mēd′)
          n.
          1. Greek Mythology A Trojan boy of great beauty whom Zeus carried away to be his lover and to be cupbearer to the gods.

          Oh great. Well, if he did my accounting homework for me, I’d consider it.

          1. Tonio

            Zeus did have good taste in butt boys; it is known. They were not selected for their intellectual prowess, however.

          2. Zeus would stick his cod in a bunghole.

          3. TARDIS

            not a euphemism….

      2. westernsloper

        Message was probably a typo, so you will be getting a massage with lots of oil applied in a room with walls covered in mirrors by a studios fair young man.

  2. The extremely rare Earth-Sun-Moon alignment portends the extinction of all life on the planet

    LOL!

    1. Not Adahn

      I often wonder if my humor is too subtle.

    2. westernsloper

      Ya, that got an lol here too.
      +1 Greta Thunburg approves

    3. Rhywun

      Documented here.

  3. Ohhhhh it really is the Church of the Chiefs today!

    Stake Conference ala day off. The Mormons amongst us will understand.

    1. Yusef

      I walked Bella at the LDS church about an hour ago and it looked pretty full to me, nice place too, grass in the desert,

      1. Each “parish” (ward) and “diocese” (stake) has its own schedule. Today, my stake is having a huge meeting, which we do twice a year. My family generally considers this a day off from church. It occurs around the time of our church-wide general conference which happens on the first Sunday of April and October. We also consider that a day off from church.

  4. Yusef

    I’m truly humbled, I can’t find the words to express my gratitude, Thank You all

    1. Not Adahn

      Were you able to get the leg?

      1. Plinker762

        So Glibs were able to ….. Give him a leg up?

        1. Yusef

          Hell Yes they did!

      2. Yusef

        I have to wait till tonight, We are watching the kids and Wendy said, NO your not leaving until daughter comes back, so Tonight.
        I have tears in my eyes just thinking how kind Glibs can be.

        1. MikeS

          Fuck off Tulpa!

          But seriously, I was out of the loop all week. What’s going on?

          1. Yusef

            needed gas money to go get my Wife’s Prosthetic leg,
            a very nice group of people helped me out, We call them Glibs,

          2. westernsloper

            Aaaaah. Superb!

          3. MikeS

            Excellent! It really is a great group of people.

          4. blackjack

            Missed that, myself. Glad it worked out.

          5. Tonio

            Sorry I missed that.

          6. TARDIS

            Same.

          7. Yusef, I’m sorry I missed you, but I’m glad you got what you needed.

          8. DEG

            I missed it since I dropped off last night to head out. I’m glad things worked out.

          9. Old Man With Candy

            Oh shit, I didn’t see it. Sorry, we would have been happy to pitch in.

      3. westernsloper

        Is that a Guardians of the Galaxy reference?

        1. Yusef

          which one?

          1. westernsloper

            First. I haven’t been on all week so I am in the dark to what you are talking about but it sounds good. Glad good has came your way. Good is good!

    2. Nephilium

      I feel like I missed something. Regardless, hope things are getting better for you That.

      1. Yusef

        it comes from Sir Digby’s late night show, last evening

  5. Taurus: 7 of Coins – Money, business, barter, success in investing, successful completion

    I will do my best to make this come true.

  6. Hyperion

    “Capricorn: 3 of Swords reversed – Error, loss, distraction, confusion”

    Dude, you need some new material. Show us on the doll where the Capricorn touched you.

    #CapricornsRpeople2

    The resistance shall continue.

    1. Spudalicious

      Capricorn’s are literally Hitler.

      1. blackjack

        That’s logical. It checks out.

    2. AlmightyJB

      Virgo’s went through that all summer

    3. Not Adahn

      First of all, don’t blame me for your choice in birthdates.

      Second of all, I already mentioned that this was going to pass on March 21, 2020. Then Aquarius gets to be the butt-boy.

  7. mikey

    Only about 1/2″ of snow so far. It’s also only 33 degress so the snowpocolypse will likely avoid us.
    Montana is a big state and the weather can vary a lot. The various mountain ranges affect it a lot. We live in the precipitation shadow of a range and get relatively little rain or snow. It’s remarkable how much the vegitation can change when you cross over a ridgeline.

    1. Yusef

      the Mohave Desert agrees….

    2. Sean

      80s & sunny ?here.
      Beautiful.

      1. Yusef

        we get up to 82 today, nice clear skies, what I finally noticed about living here is no Jets, Freeways or trains so it’s very quiet, also no sirens or Ghetto birds overhead

      2. Not Adahn

        60s, sunny, breezy, with orange and yellow leaves here.

        1. Sean

          We’re going to the Poconos in two weeks. Hoping we timed it right for maximum foliage colors. There’s a 2.5 hour train ride we’re going on. It should be nice to get away. Even for just a couple days.

          1. dbleagle

            Sunny with Trade Winds. Currently 77, low was 70 and high should be 82.

            Another bunch of Apple Bananas will ripen this week. First pomegranates picked and rest over the next couple of weeks.

          2. blackjack

            About 70 with a slight breeze. The palm fronds are the same color as always.

          3. One of the nice things about living in the Catskills is that I don’t have to go far for fall foliage.

            The only bad thing is that hunting season begins before peak color.

      3. 82F and 74% humidity. Sticky as hell.

        1. AlmightyJB

          What’s the dewpoint?

          1. No idea, but my hands are sticky.

          2. Mr. Mojeaux says “ouch.”

          3. blackjack

            I don’t dew nuttin when it that hot and humid.

        2. Hyperion

          It’s supposed to be back in the mid 90s here by Tuesday.

  8. @HM

    Your “words don’t have meanings; meanings have words” is blowing up my Facebook timeline.

    1. TARDIS

      You got excerpts? Or do we have to stalk you there?

  9. The Late P Brooks

    Sagittarius: Queen of Cups reversed – Either a good woman, or a woman who appears distinguished but is not to be trusted, perversity, vice, depravity, dishonor

    Good, or good *at it*

    I’ve got my fingers crossed.

  10. DEG

    That last bit is what transforms it from “random shit I just made up” to (debatably) “confirmed astrological science.”

    There’s a difference?

    1. Sean

      He scienced the shit out of it.

    2. Not Adahn

      You can’t have a consensus (and thus science) with only one person.

      1. DEG

        What’s masturbation?

        1. Raven Nation

          Non-consensual monosex.

        2. Not Adahn

          Well, when daddy loves mommy very much, but mommy ain’t in the mood…

          1. TARDIS

            So like…August?

          2. Spudalicious

            That would be 2001 for me.

    1. mikey

      FTA: “What we need is low-CO₂ energy that can outcompete fossil fuels – which would make everyone, including China and India, switch.”

      He got so close.

        1. Trials and Trippelations

          Thorium

  11. Not Adahn

    Someone mentioned paw paws a few days ago:

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-b6Ojpeb-oQ

    1. Tonio

      They aren’t bad. Texture of peaches, taste like banana.

      It’s Paw Paw season here in Virginia. I usually go out in the woods and find one just so I can say I foraged.

      Some folks make Paw Paw Preserves.

      1. peaches

        Gross.

        bananas

        Blech.

        Most fruits and vegetables, I probably would be okay with the flavor, but texture is what triggers my gag reflex.

        1. Tonio

          “what triggers my gag reflex”

          Now you’re just slut-shaming me. LOL.

          1. Would I do that?

            /Urkel

    2. l0b0t

      Might have been me; I had one for the first time the other day. Bloody delicious. Someone mentioned paw paw ice cream… I’m drooling.

      1. Tonio

        Project for next week. Eat a Paw Paw on video for You People.

        1. dbleagle

          You better have the proper musical accompanying it.

          When I hunted deer in NC I looked forward to picking paw paws for a quick snack.

  12. Thus far, the Lions seem equal to the task.

  13. The Late P Brooks

    They looked pretty tough on their own goal line.

  14. Trials and Trippelations

    Thanks for the Cam newton link last night, Spud. Just one of many reasons Cam is sucking. I just really hope the team rests him for a while, and then cuts him at the end of the season.

    Kyle Allen may not and does not need to be the long term answer for the Panthers QB, but neither is Cam

    1. Spudalicious

      No problem. He isn’t my favorite QB.

  15. Nephilium

    Sorry OMWC, it’s looking like a game today.

    1. Nephilium

      One hell of a a game at that.

      1. Bizarro World

        1. Nephilium

          Browns are number 1!

          I’m just hoping Landry is back soon.

  16. hayeksplosives

    Did I mention how much I hate paper straws?

    1. Trials and Trippelations

      Those “candy” straws with the sugar in them should be proof enough as to the inferiority of paper straws

    2. westernsloper

      I always used a rolled up bill of whatever denomination.

      1. Yusef

        Larf

      2. dbleagle

        Well it isn’t paper. It is 75% cotton and 25% linen. Make sure your Jefferson is facing out at the audience.

        1. Tonio

          Plant fiber. Whatever. Also, waxed?

        2. Tres Cool

          Fun fact- there’s a facility north of Dayton that makes the currency paper. Seems getting the paper correct is the toughest part of counterfeiting. They have zero scraps. Nada. Anything not used gets incinerated (thats where I come in).

          1. Tonio

            Tres cool, Tres Cool.

    3. Yusef

      but the weather is nice,

    4. Aus

      “LIBERAL PAPER STRAWS DON’T WORK!”

      Still makes me laugh.

    5. l0b0t

      I vaguely recall a book or dissertation I read years ago that extolled the plastic straw as an absolute marvel of engineering. It took a great deal of money and many, many man-hours to come up with a straw that didn’t trap tiny air bubbles all along its length thus floating out of the glass.

  17. leon

    So I guess the group think consensus is that since Clemson didn’t actually loose to unranked UNC , that it shouldn’t be dropped in the rankings too much.

    1. Trials and Trippelations

      That’s what I see during college basketball or espn’s click bait NFL power rankings. If you are supposed to be a top team, do a poor job, but still manage the win the rankings aren’t hurt

      1. leon

        Yeah. Really if you’re the #1 team and you are in a situation where you have to stop the unranked team from making the 2-point conversion to keep them from winning, you probably shouldn’t be in the top 5.

  18. The Late P Brooks

    Are you kidding me, Vox?

    New York State Rifle, moreover, offers someone like Kavanaugh the perfect vehicle to upend the consensus framework because the (now repealed) rule at the heart of this case imposes only a minimal burden on gun owners.

    New York offers two kinds of handgun licenses. A “carry” license permits gun owners to carry a handgun for “target practice, hunting, or self-defense.” Meanwhile, a less permissive “premises” license permits a gun owner to “have and possess in his dwelling” a handgun. Premises license holders, however, may only bring the gun outside of their home for limited reasons, which include bringing the gun to seven specific gun ranges to practice shooting.

    The plaintiffs in New York State Rifle, each of whom has a premises license, raise a very narrow challenge to this framework. As a federal appeals court explained, some of them “seek to transport their handguns to shooting ranges and competitions outside New York City.” One of them also owns two homes, and he wishes to be able to transport one gun between those two homes.

    New York State Rifle, in other words, involves what Judge Higginson described as a “less onerous law” that governs “conduct outside of the Second Amendment’s ‘core.’” This isn’t a grand showdown over when and where people can carry guns — or whether they bring a gun into their own home. It’s a small legal dispute about little more than whether lawmakers can require certain gun owners to practice shooting at certain specified gun ranges.

    “What are you complaining about? The State of New York has graciously granted you the “right” to own a gun, and keep it in your home. You can sleep with your gun under your pillow, you weirdo. What more do you want?”

    What a steaming pile of dog shit.

    1. blackjack

      Now do smart phones.

  19. Yusef

    I noticed an ad for Weedmaps on the left hand side of this piece,
    https://www.mercurynews.com/2019/09/27/vaping-illness-probe-focuses-on-thc-products/

  20. The Late P Brooks

    Also, from that Vox thing, something i was not previously aware of:

    Heller, however, was hardly a total victory for advocates of gun rights. Indeed, Justice Antonin Scalia’s majority opinion is riddled with caveats. Heller suggests that “longstanding prohibitions on the possession of firearms by felons and the mentally ill, or laws forbidding the carrying of firearms in sensitive places such as schools and government buildings, or laws imposing conditions and qualifications on the commercial sale of arms” all remain valid, as are bans on “dangerous and unusual weapons.”

    In a November interview with the New York Times’ Adam Liptak, Stevens revealed that Kennedy asked for “some important changes” to Scalia’s original draft of the Heller opinion. At Stevens’s urging, Kennedy requested language stating that Heller “should not be taken to cast doubt” on many existing gun laws. Without Kennedy’s intervention, in other words, Heller may not have included the important language limiting the scope of the Second Amendment.

    Stevens (that odious homunculus) arm,-twisted Scalia into that bullshit about “reasonable restrictions” on my rights.

    1. Tonio

      This is not your Heller court anymore.

    2. Fatty Bolger

      That’s nothing new. The Court loves the “reasonableness” test.

    3. DEG

      I would not be surprised if the Supreme Court upheld New York’s laws under Heller. Thank you Scalia and Kennedy!

    4. leon

      The biggest thing the SCOTUS can do is say that laws against the 2nd Amendment deserve the same level of scrutiny as those that infringe on the 1st Amendment. Before Heller they were only given “rational basis” review, which meant that if the government could come up with any reason that could maybe make some sense, they won. After Heller there was some confusion, but it was known that courts had to give some level of scrutiny. Unfortunately most judges have applied “Intermediate Scrutiny”, which means: “I’ll be tough on laws i don’t like, and then apply Rational Basis on laws i do like”. 1st Amendment cases are given “Strict Scrutiny”.

  21. Tonio

    Today I had a date so bad that I was sad that I wasted a drycleaned shirt on it.

    1. blackjack

      That’s why I stick with raisins.

    2. How bad was it?

      /Matchgame

      1. Tonio

        It was just sad. He’s only a few years older than me but already in poor health. Not intellectually engaging. Swishy.

        1. Not intellectually engaging

          You coulda started and ended there.

        2. leon

          I don’t get it i’ve had plenty of great dates with girls who weren’t intellectually engaging. /snark

    3. DEG

      On one hand, you had a date.

      On the other hand, when I think back to some bad dates I wished I had never gone on, I sympathize.

      On the gripping hand…. I think given my hangover and fails at making jokes today I should stop here.

      1. Tonio

        And fortunately it was only brunch, so easy to escape afterwards.

        But at least it wasn’t as bad as the date where I burned rubber in the parking lot after dropping her back home to send a message; thanks, Toyota Tacoma TRD PreRunner!

        1. DEG

          Ouch.

          I have a two way tie for worst dates.

          One was a woman who was rude to the wait staff, rambled on about herself revealing that we had nothing in common, and never thanked me for paying. We ran into each other once or twice after the date, and she tried to get me to ask her out a second time. Nope.

          Second was a woman that had just gotten out of an eight year relationship. I could tell she was a train wreck, but asked her out anyways. She was also rude to the wait staff. When she wasn’t rude to the wait staff, she spent her time bitching about her ex.

          1. Tonio

            Oh, those are both terrible.

    4. leon

      I think my worst Date was one in my early 20’s where i had to play 20 questions with the girl to get her to talk with me.

      1. Rhywun

        I remember one like that. Turns out, some people have a completely different personality sober vs. drunk. Who knew??

      2. blackjack

        I’ve only ever been on a few. Prolly the worst was on day two of that LA riots. I had a bitchin 66 chevelle with a hot rod shifter that was hard for strangers to operate. We pulled up to the laugh factory on sunset blvd and the valet grabs my keys. Just then a huge mob with signs come marching right at us. I’m trying to get the valet to shift it, but he couldn’t figure it out. Finally, I pulled him out and did a huge burn out to get my car off the street before the violence jumped off. Got it parked, went inside and there really wasn’t any comedy, just lamenting and politics. We were stuck in there for a few hours until the crowd dispersed. Fun times.

      3. Tonio

        I’ve rarely had a problem with them being too silent (both sexes).

      4. whiz

        My worst date was what I call my Faulkner date — a stream of consciousness coming out of her mouth most of the time. And most of it was about her, and not interesting.

        1. Tonio

          Ouch.

  22. leon

    For those of you saying HM is was an asshole, i’d like to remind you that he hast to deal with these argumentsin his daily life.

    1. Tonio

      Worse, he is the father of a teenage girl.

  23. The Late P Brooks

    Wow- that was a heads-up play.

    1. I looked down at my Kindle after the stop just before the goal line, look up and see a lone dude running into the end zone and Mr. Mojeaux wasn’t screaming, so I was like, Whu?

      1. Rhywun

        I flip over to the Bills game every five minutes or so and every time, I see our QB getting sacked. Amazingly, it’s only a 3 point game for now.

        1. Rhywun

          And three interceptions….

          1. dbleagle

            Five lost fumbles. But the return for a TD was a heads up play.

            This a sloppy game, but they are keeping the interest up.

  24. The Late P Brooks

    Today I had a date so bad that I was sad that I wasted a drycleaned shirt on it.

    You went to lunch with STEVE SMITH?

  25. Cacciatore

    “[…]perversity, vice, depravity[…]”

    Do tell!

    *runs away giddily*

    1. peachy rex

      “Congratulations! Zeus needs a new cupbearer! Report to Mt Olympus at once for orientation.”

  26. The Late P Brooks

    I don’t even know what a date is, anymore.

    1. Tonio

      It’s where you shop on the internet for the used item that looks least smelly and broken; then are disappointed when you actually see it.

      1. DEG

        Heh. Though it assumes you get that far.

        1. Tonio

          Oh, lately the thing seems to be to “ghost,” to express interest online, setup a date one or two days hence, then complete radio silence thereafter.

  27. WTF?! Dudes, stop fumbling the ball!!!

    1. Michael Bluth

      I got to the last thread too late, but I wanted to get my response to you, whether or not it is worth much.

      I love the 2 hour block and also don’t understand the rebrand. Church starting at 2 is brutal, regardless. Ministering is great, as long as the local leaders don’t force it back to being HT/VT. I think Come Follow Me is a good change from the old repeated manuals, but it isn’t perfect. After being in YM for 6 years, I’m convinced that YW advisers are much less likely to let the YW have a voice and do things in their classes, to the detriment of the YW. We had stake conference last week, which had a really weird message from the Stake President about dating, and a continual fight with our 18 month old son.

      And correlation is just the worst.

      Have you read any of Adam Miller’s works? He is a breath of fresh air after so many years of McConckieism. I’ve also been reading a book by a Christian author called “The Sin of Certainty.” It’s ok, but I think the overall message is one the church overall could use.

      1. Ministering is great, as long as the local leaders don’t force it back to being HT/VT

        My kid was hammered all summer school by her YW prez to minister to someone in a town quite a ways away. XX kept telling her she couldn’t because summer school was kicking her butt. Finally, she said, “Is the bishop after you for numbers?” “Yeah.”

        Just this week she got a letter almost commanding her to go minister to these people in this town quite a ways away. There was no “Can you do this?” Just, “Do this.” Firstly, I object to the tone. Secondly, how do you command a kid who may or may not have access to a car to do something? Check with the parents first.

        YW advisers are much less likely to let the YW have a voice and do things in their classes, to the detriment of the YW

        You have no idea how right you are. Last week was a revelation for XX. My mom and I aren’t shy about sharing our opinions in either GD or RS. So XX had something to say. I told her to say it. She was listened to. Her opinion was considered. It wasn’t agreed with by somebody, but there was discussion. Being listened to and her opinion considered as valid was enough for her. AND nobody said, “Hey, you’re supposed to be in YW.” It gave me a new lease on life with RS. She is so done with YW.

        Come Follow Me messed up seminary curriculum. I decided she didn’t have to go this year.

        really weird message from the Stake President about dating

        There must be a lot of confessing to a lot of serious stuff, then.

        Have you read any of Adam Miller’s works? He is a breath of fresh air after so many years of McConckieism.

        I have not, but I’ll check it out.

        “The Sin of Certainty.”

        Don’t even have to read it to know the church needs it.

        What I find difficult to hear/deal with is the opinions of the really old folks, which includes the leadership. (More about that later.) They are still in a world of dressing up to take a plane ride and think that anybody wearing less than a modest shirtwaist and white gloves shouldn’t be at church. RS (where XX stated her opinion) was “Girls need to dress appropriately,” and she correctly said, “Why are we responsible for what the boys want to look at?” The conversation proceeded predictably.

        So. Leadership. Why did President McHottie (Uchdorf) get fired/demoted?

        Most of what is seen as doctrine is just lessons in propriety. The leadership is stuck in 1950s WASP country club culture.

        1. Michael Bluth

          I hate the command rather than request. That seems beyond overbearing in that situation, especially when ministering can now be a phone call/text/etc. rather than a danged hour visit.

          The modesty discussion is broken and I don’t know how to fix it. The approach my wife started (and I’ve followed) with our kids is to ask them if they are presenting their best self and leave it at that.

          In regard to Uchtdorf, my faithful side says it is because Oaks was next in line and hadn’t really spent any time in the FP. And since he had Pres. Nelson had been seatmate for so long, he wanted to give Oaks the leg up. My less faithful side is because he was either too popular and too willing to not tow the lion as needed.

          The leadership and age is going to be a continuing problem until there is an emeritus apostle. The Q15 all seem to be in remarkable health for their age. And despite his faults, if I live to be 92, I’d hope I’d be as healthy as Pres. Nelson. I do think there was a vacuum with Pres. Monson that allowed Pres. Eyring and other apostles get pet projects through rather than focus on what they should. I don’t know how to change that, other than hope your local leaders are more forward thinking and it eventually trickles up.

        2. The modesty discussion is broken

          Shattered.

      2. Oh, one more thing about the leadership and age.

        We are not even dealing with the boomers here. We’re dealing with the silent generation (1928-1945). They do not want to let go and they cannot keep up.

    2. blackjack

      I thought you were talking to Tonio’s date.

      1. Tonio

        [golf clap]

  28. leon

    Just started watching the Lions/Chiefs. Already seen two fumbles.

  29. westernsloper

    Just cracked one of these. I give it a meeeh I won’t pour it out but not great rating.

    1. Tonio

      I made the big mistake last night of going from a COTU Pocahoptas IPA (nom, nom) to a Devils Backbone Vienna Lager. The Vienna Lager was delicious on its own merits, but a harsh stepdown from the hoppity goodness of the IPA. However it kept me from overdrinking as I nursed the Lager forever.

    2. DEG

      I decided to nurse my hangover with black tea, lemon, honey, and a shot of White Tail bourbon.

      1. Nephilium

        I went out to a local bar and watched the Browns beat the Ravens. It was a glorious day, especially with the 59 cent wings.

  30. leon

    Well i guess we’ve learned our lesson about jumping over people.

    1. I think Kareem Hunt got that started 2-3 years ago. Now the leap-ees know better than to duck.

      1. leon

        I liked the announcers: “No coach says, ‘Alright, we are going to practice our jumping over people today’”

        1. Mr. Mojeaux and I both laughed.

      2. OneOut

        Running backs have been jumping over knee tacklers longer than Kareem Hunt has been wiping his own butt.

        See: Tony Dorsett

        1. OneOut

          Those who don’t duck often get kicked in the head.

        2. I just remember there was a huge WOW and fawning when he did it.

        3. My first thought is always this.

  31. AlmightyJB

    First time I’ve seen mom.

    https://youtu.be/5xs0LVBK1YQ

    1. Tonio

      First time I’ve heard her speak. Yeah, something’s not right there.

      1. MikeS

        Same here. I have a bad feeling that this girl is going to have a miserable, and possibly short, life. All the selfish fuckers encouraging this train-wreck should burn in hell.

        1. TARDIS

          They should be tortured here first. You know…as a warm up.

        2. leon

          All the selfish fuckers encouraging this train-wreck should burn in hell.

          This can’t be said enough. These assholes have decided to chew this girl up and use her for their envrio-political agenda. They don’t have any care for her well being. And they have the gal to lecture the rest of us about “Think of the children”. Everything that this girl has built angst about is completely made up. Even if everything in the science that the ICCP comes true, there is no reason to be so absolutely terrified of climate change.

        3. This is how I feel about Joe Jackson and Michael Jackson.

          MJ never had a chance. He was deliberately retarded/stunted. I do believe he was ever capable of making his own decisions, or even surrounding himself with decent people.

          Janet Jackson had a bitter parting with her father when she was 18. Clearly she had enough emotional wiggle room to get out.

          1. I do NOT believe MJ was ever capable of making his own decisions.

          2. Spudalicious

            I read an article about him a few years ago. What stuck with me was him going into a shop in Vegas, and picking out items that totaled over $100k. After he left, his handlers looked at the shop owner and said, “no, he won’t be buying this stuff”.

          3. Wouldn’t be buying it, in that he would refuse to pay for it or the stuff would be brought back?

          4. Spudalicious

            That he wouldn’t be buying it, because he can’t make decisions for himself, and was impulsive.

          5. Ah, okay. Sucks for shop owner, though.

            It’s been argued here before that MJ was a grown man who should know better, but I don’t think he was ever a grown man and I think Joe Jackson is wholly responsible.

            Sins of the father doesn’t just apply to intergenerational curses (see: Kennedys). I may or may not be that superstitious.

          6. Spudalicious

            Aaannnd. Trubisky is out at the beginning of the game.

          7. Spudalicious

            Dammit.

          8. Tonio

            “no, he won’t be buying this stuff”

            Unclear whether he left with the stuff or not.

            If he did, then that was a warning shot to the merchant to expect returns. A ten percent restocking fee is not unreasonable, and they still legits gets to claim that MJ shops there.

            If he didn’t leave with the stuff they were preemptively trying to avoid a breach of contract action. But again the merchant gets to legits claim that MJ shops there.

            Of course I’ve rarely shopped places where I could reasonably assemble a 100K order that wouldn’t fit in a cart. (Wiring contractors excepted.)

          9. It occurred to me after I asked for clarification that this was probably a high-end shop where you pick stuff out, leave, and expect it to show up in your hotel room by magic.

          10. Spudalicious

            Yeah, I should have clarified. Although what he was buying would have been sent to Neverland.

          11. Yanno, I wonder if those types of shop owners already know that and just indulge him while he’s there.

    2. westernsloper

      At least we know where she gets the drama chops.

    3. Tres Cool

      What the hell are the boots she has on ?

      Reminds me of army ‘tanker boots’

  32. The Late P Brooks

    It’s where you shop on the internet for the used item that looks least smelly and broken; then are disappointed when you actually see it.

    Huh.

    “If it was any good, it wouldn’t be in that dumpster.”

    1. leon

      “One man’s trash is another man’s lawn ornament”

      1. westernsloper

        Some people make planters out of old tires………

  33. The Late P Brooks

    Holy mackerel.

  34. MikeS

    Spud; a re-comment (with minor editing) from last night in case you missed it:

    I bought New Riff Straight Rye whiskey this weekend. I am not a good reviewer, but here it goes:

    Nose: Vanilla…Oak?…pepper if you inhale deeply. (A LOT of pepper if you inhale too deeply)

    Taste: starts smooth…then oak…then pepper…black pepper…then it starts to heat up a bit. Partly the 100 proof, partly that’s just how this rye is…but there’s more of it than others I’ve tasted. There’s a pepper-like “burn” that starts on the roof of the mouth and moves back towards the throat. It’s wonderful. Delicious. Amazing flavor.

    That’s likely the worst review ever written.

    I think I might have a good decent analogy: New Riff is to Rye, as Islay whiskys are to Scotch. And it’s glorious.

    1. Tonio

      Is there also a Gay Rye Whiskey? No???? Homophobic!!1!

      1. MikeS

        Yes. Bulleit Rye is gay…or was and now it’s anti-gay??? Not sure.

        I did find a gay rum for you.

        1. leon

          A fruity rum sounds awful. / I’ll see my self out.

        2. Tonio

          That’s pretty gay alright, Mikey.

          Not a huge rum fan, but the XO sounds pretty tasty for sipping.

        3. Tonio

          Oh, I had forgotten about that PR shitshow. Ugh.

        4. Rhywun

          “I was one of the few minorities who fought their way through to the hearts and minds of the cocktail community,” she wrote, “and I refuse to accept or be marginalized now or in the future.”

          *severe eye roll*

          1. Tonio

            Dammit, Rhywun, she is a minority. A unitary minority. And you trivialize her courage and struggle. No wonder you don’t get to hang out with Shikia at the better cocktail parties.

          2. Gustave Lytton

            Sounds like someone pushing their way to the buffet filled with exotic meats.

          3. Tonio

            Or hogging all the fruit sushi. Just saying.

          4. MikeS

            OK. Today I’m coming out: I don’t know what the story is behind “fruit sushi”.

            I feel better already.

          5. DEG

            OK. Today I’m coming out: I don’t know what the story is behind “fruit sushi”.

            It’s OK. We’re still friends here.

            It’s a reference to Robby Soave at reason.

            I don’t remember the details but it is a reference to Soave being enamored of “fruit sushi” at some gathering.

          6. Gustave Lytton

            I think it was ENB that tweeted or mentioned that Robby had to be cut off at a cocktail party.

          7. MikeS

            Ah! Thanks, guys.

        5. Rhywun

          I was just heading out to the liquor store.

          Guess what I got.

          1. MikeS

            Some of the aforementioned gay-friendly rye?

          2. Rhywun

            Vodka, because I am almost out.

            Oh, and also yes.

          3. Sean

            I’ve been drinking New Amsterdam 100 proof vodka lately. I like it.

            Though Tito’s is still my go to for martinis.

    2. Spudalicious

      Your last sentence matches your description. Sounds tasty!

  35. hayeksplosives

    Has anyone checked on OMWC? Cuz his Ravens are shitting the bed.

    1. OneOut

      I tried but my internet must be broken because I never got through to him.

    2. Tonio

      I thought they were supposed to have tight ends?

      1. hayeksplosives

        Lol.

    3. Spudalicious

      My guess is he’s switched to whiskey while watching the game in his stained, tightie whities.

    4. Nephilium

      Nope. I was just cheering loudly at a local bar.

    5. Old Man With Candy

      They didn’t just shit the bed, they rubbed the feces in.

      1. westernsloper

        What ya’lls need is Flacco back. I’ll pay for the bus ticket.

        1. Old Man With Candy

          We need Weddle back.

  36. leon

    What a catch by the lions.

  37. The Late P Brooks

    Who are these people, and what have they done with the Detroit Lions?

    1. TARDIS

      Hopes and expectations not met? It’s good not to have those. For me it’s, “Good job! You lost by less than 20 points!”

  38. Spudalicious

    Chuckie pulls one out to beat the Colts and go to 2-2.

  39. hayeksplosives

    Can someone give me a positive, happy reason for not murdering my spouse?

    1. leon

      Not a Positive reason, but have you ever tried to dispose of a body?

      1. leon

        Though i mean, if you have a trip to Dugway planed, that’s a place no one would be willing to go dig around looking for him… / I’m just kidding Preet.

      2. hayeksplosives

        No. It does seem difficult. Lots of cliffs here though.

        It would be so easy…/Miss Danvers

        1. Is his name Earl? Do you have black-eyed peas?

          1. hayeksplosives

            No, and yes?

          2. Well, if we hadn’t totes planned this where Preet could see, I’d help you bury the body.

        2. dbleagle

          There are other ways.

          https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2xUynRdzzsM

          But it is a lot of work. Maybe send him out to the parasailing spot by Black Beach will keep him out of your hair for awhile.

          1. hayeksplosives

            Y’all are the best.

          2. TARDIS

            Not even a reason for the need of such a deed?

          3. hayeksplosives

            One of you Glibs knows.

            I bear it stoically most of the time but get a little weak at times.

      3. Suthenboy

        55 gallon drum, a water hose, some cinder blocks to set the barrel up over a fire and about 25 lbs of sodium hydrox……hey you know what? I am just talking out of my ass. I have no idea how to dispose of a body.

    2. Tonio

      Because you will be able to live you life with a clean conscience, and perhaps enjoy watching his self-inflicted decline and demise from afar?

      1. hayeksplosives

        I’ll go with this one.

        Thanks, dude. Friends don’t let friends commit homicide.

        1. Friends don’t let friends commit homicide.

          Good friends help you bury the body.

        2. Jarflax

          depends

        3. leon

          My wife got upset because i told her i wouldn’t help her bury a body.

        4. MikeS

          Really? Well shit.

          1. dbleagle

            Unless you have a backhoe it is hard on your arms and back. You could have offered to bring her tea while she dug the hole.

          2. hayeksplosives

            Practical as always, Sir!

          3. Raven Nation

            Semi-related: had a friend of mine from my Montana days. He was mentoring this mutual friend of ours who was in his late 20s. A few months after I left Montana my friend’s wife ran off with the kid my friend had been mentoring.

            A month or so after that, as my friend tells the story, he was coming out of the local convenience store in mid-winter. Ran into a couple of local guys he knew. They asked him how he was doing and commiserated with him. Then one of them looked him in the eye and said something along the lines of, “you know, there’s a lot of valleys with deep snow up here. No way anyone will find a body until late spring.”

            Again, as my friend tells it, he was very, very careful to not make any movement or facial expression that could in any way be interpreted as non-verbal assent.

          4. hayeksplosives

            That’s … not weird at all.

          5. Suthenboy

            “So, what you are saying is, they will find the body”

          6. Tres Cool

            I have an ex that was the corporate safety director for a heavy construction firm. She said one of her guys, when het daughter brought a guy home, didnt do the usual “gun-cleaning-in-the-living-room” bit. He struck up conversation, and worked it into, “ya know, they say cadaver dogs can smell a body buried 30 feet down. I have excavators that do 40′. “

    3. OneOut

      Avoiding prison ?

      Plus who would you plant your cold feet on during the knight ?

      Other than that I got nothing.

      If you can take some warm socks to prison with you I say go ahead with your bad self.

  40. hayeksplosives

    Kc v Detroit is good …

      1. dbleagle

        Who would have thunk this game would be this good? Both teams are showing heart. and can’t hold onto a ball to save their lives.

        1. I am too burnt from years and years of the Chiefs snatching defeat from the jaws of victory for me to believe in them after 5 minutes left in the game.

          1. Nephilium

            /invites Mojeaux to Cleveland.

          2. *pats Nephilium on head*

            There, there. It’ll get better.

          3. Nephilium

            I can’t believe that. I was broken at a young age.

          4. I SAW MARTY!!!!

      2. MikeS

        If they lose it’s because they didn’t give it to the guys on my FF team more.

        1. MikeS

          Well, they won in spite of not giving it to the guys on my FF team more.

      3. Trigger Hippie

        *happy dance*

    1. Raven Nation

      I’m listening to the call on The Fox and I keep wanting to hit the mute button.

    2. Trigger Hippie

      Hats off to the Lions, though. They made Mahomes look positively human.

      1. I KNOW, RIGHT?!

        1. Trigger Hippie

          He looked pissy the whole game. I mean his facial expressions. My guess is he might be having girlfriend problems. Who knows.

          1. Bradshaw et al felt it was a) playing in a dome (first time in career), b) crowd noise that wasn’t for him, c) indoor lights irritating him, and d) astroturf.

            I would buy the dome and the lights.

          2. Trigger Hippie

            Maybe. Another reason could be that he’s had so much smoke blown up his ass that he might feel a little more pressure or the Chiefs just had a lackluster day. It happens. The Lions also….

            Fuck you, Goff(started him,two picks already)..

            Anyway, The Lions aren’t nearly as bad as people thought they were.

          3. I think he’s a good egg and he doesn’t strike me as someone who believes ALL his press. The Lions taught him a good lesson even so.

          4. Trigger Hippie

            Oh, the kid’s got a level head. I’m not worried about him getting complacent. But the expectations are high. I mean, he still threw for around three hundred yards, won the game on a late fourth quarter drive and I’m bitching. There’s a lot of pressure on him.

          5. Oh, right. Got it.

            Me, I don’t believe in any one man that much. I can barely believe what he’s already done, never mind what he might be capable of.

      2. Nephilium

        Here’s to a Lions – Browns Superbowl. It would be epic!

        1. Jarflax

          bwahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha *breaths hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah

  41. Spudalicious

    Aaannd, Trubisky is out at the beginning of the game.

    1. hayeksplosives

      I haz a sad.

      But Romo is on commentary so I haz a happy! He’s great.

      1. Spudalicious

        I like Romo.

      2. Trigger Hippie

        Yeah, his barely contained enthusiasm and knowledge of the game makes for a good broadcast.

        1. hayeksplosives

          They told him to quit calling and predicting plays so accurately when he first started.

          He’d be a great coach.

          1. OneOut

            8Really ?

            I never heard that.

            He must not have listened though because he was doing it with excellent results deep into the season.

            As a lifelong Cowboys fan I love Tony Romo.

            Undrafted and with some of the best come from behind stats in league history.

            He gets much flak because he never had much post season success.

            He did however have a winning career in spite of having an owner who thought it was more important to have splashy free agent signings of troubled bad boys than providing Romo with a decent offensive line.

            It wasn’t until the end of his career when Jone’s son began to exert some influence and build a team on Ol and DL play.

            Of Romo hadn’t gotten hurt his last season I firmly believe they had legitimate Superbowl aspirations.

            They put a 4th round rookie QB in and still went 13 and 3.

  42. My husband refused to lose faith. Me, too many years of last-minute choke losses. I have PTSD.

    1. BakedPenguin

      I really liked Denver during the Elway years. Do you remember those Mojeaux?

      1. Oh yes, I remember the Elway years. I believe those were our Marty Schottenheimer years.

        1. BakedPenguin

          Sorry, just wanted to poke the bear. And yeah, Browns fans have far more reason to be angry, but if I poke them, I might enrage the Warty. Even after a win against the Ravens.

          But yeah, the Schott was a good coach in the regular season. Playoffs? Not so much.

          In any event, your guys have Mahomes and a solid team behind him. Denver has Flacco and… well…

      2. Nephilium

        I thought I liked you BP.

    2. Jarflax

      It’s so cute the way you football fans from places other than Ohio talk about disappointment.

      1. Nephilium

        /tosses a beer to Jarflax

        1. OneOut

          Yep.

          That was a well played comment

  43. Hyperion

    Triggered

    Look , that’s thing looks like a giant penis, so toxic masculinity and hate crimes. We can’t do anymore exploring because white privilege, or something.

    1. leon

      I have it figured out.

      Elon Musk is an evil Genius, and here is his plan:

      1. Cultivate a Cult of Personality around him
      2. Make many products, each geared at identifying the morons who take him at word value.
      3. Build Rocket ships to go to mars
      4. Select members for his colonization movement from the group in #2
      5. Rid the world of idiots.

      It’s diabolical, yet Noble.

      1. Raven Nation

        Interestingly, there’s an old s-f short story that has pretty much that plot: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Marching_Morons

        And, The Simpsons also did a version of it.

        1. Suthenboy

          Hey, Mars needs telephone sterilizers too.

      2. Hyperion

        “It’s diabolical, yet Noble.”

        Where do I donate?

        1. Jarflax

          Tesla dealership

  44. Spudalicious

    hmm. 2:30 and I have a glass of bourbon next to me. That’s not a good sign.

    1. Suthenboy

      Dude, having a glass of bourbon next to you is always a good sign.

      1. Not Adahn

        Well, unless you ordered Scotch. Then you’ll have to deal with the guy whose bourbon it is getting all upset.

      2. Spudalicious

        That usually doesn’t start until four. But hey, it’s Sunday, there’s football on, and a pot of soup simmering on the stove.

        1. Spudalicious

          And now it’s four, so I’m safe.

  45. The Late P Brooks

    Hmmph. Napcar is on the roval at Charlotte.

    1. OneOut

      Napcar.

      I love it.

      1. Gender Traitor

        Yup. Watching between my toes.

    2. banginglc1

      I think it’s been under caution since you made this comment. . . . I saw 17 laps left . . . that was 25 minutes ago.

      1. banginglc1

        With 8 still to go.

        1. Gender Traitor

          AAAAAND a red flag.

          1. TARDIS

            Soccer?

          2. Gender Traitor

            Fluid on track, cars stop. Or they’re confiscating guns from dangerous rednecks in the stands.

  46. Patrick Mahomes is a good egg.

    For a team that regularly hires troublemakers, this is refreshing.

    1. Trigger Hippie

      If only he had Gardner Minshew’s personality. He’d be a god amongst men.

    2. Hyperion

      “Patrick Mahomes”

      You’re going to get very disappointed. Mahomes is not a very good QB, and he cannot withstand a good pass rush, see AFC playoff vs New England. Sorry to burst your bubble.

      1. “good egg” == nice kid

        As I said somewhere else in this thread, I have no faith that he is anywhere as good as his press. I have Chiefs PTSD.

        1. Hyperion

          Yeah, I know, I’m just fucking with you, because it’s fun. I was serious about Mahomes, but I’m a Raiders fan and we don’t currently have a pass rush, so it’s a moot point.

          1. I’m a Raiders fan

            I knew there was something off about you.

          2. Hyperion

            “I knew there was something off about you.”

            That’s the least of it, I’m a software engineer, so you know I’m fucked up in the head already, just go with the flow.

          3. Hyperion

            But…. I’ve been watching NFL since 1969, so I know a thing or two.

          4. I don’t doubt you know more than I do. I was born in 1968. ?

            #TheWorst

          5. Hyperion

            “#TheWorst”

            I’m just happy that you finally confessed your sins.

  47. Not Adahn

    Pears are roasting in the oven.

    1. AlmightyJB

      Turkey breast on stovetop smoker with Hickory. Green beans ready to go in oven to roast. Spice blends on both.

      1. AlmightyJB

        Smoked some butter earlier.

        1. Not Adahn

          *blinks*

          1. Spudalicious

            Freeze it, cold smoke it.

        2. Spudalicious

          Howdja get it lit?

          1. AlmightyJB

            Just put in a crock inside a stovetop smoker for 40 minutes. Strained into container and put in fridge.

    2. OneOut

      Smoked boudian on the cutting board alongside a steamed softshell blue crab ripped by hand into bite sized chunks.

      Served with fresh green onions ,pickled jalapenos, and various condiments and other snacks washed down with cold beer while awaiting real football aka Dallas and N’Orleans to commence.

      /Ted S. I apologize for the lack of punctuation

      //sorry not sorry

      1. Crusty Juggler

        Would you like to be friends?

        1. OneOut

          I already considered us such.

          1. Crusty Juggler

            When do I move in?

          2. OneOut

            Whenever you’re ready baby.

            We’ll go throw the cast net for some shrimp if the crab is gone before you get here.

    3. Spudalicious

      Making a big pot of chicken/noodle soup. Just pulled off the meat and put the bones and veggies back in the pot to simmer for a couple of hours.

      1. OneOut

        I pulled off my meat once today as well.

        If the Cowboys beat N’Orleans I might do it again.

      2. Not Adahn

        Why do you hate the children!?!?!

        1. Shirley Knott

          Have you met them?

  48. Crusty Juggler

    ‘Yiddish for Dogs’ class held in Central Park

    A ‘Yiddish for Dogs’ class was held on Sunday in Central Park. It was put on by the non-profit Workmen’s Circle, which offers the largest Yiddish language program in the world, with more than 800 students annually.

    Dogs and their owners learned how to respond to commands such as ‘sit’ and ‘stay’ in Yiddish.

    The dogs control the banks!

    1. Suthenboy

      When did the need to communicate with your dog in Yiddish arise? And what was the cause of it?

      1. Spudalicious

        Imported from Israel?

  49. Crusty Juggler

    Debbie Harry opens up about sharing her cocaine with Iggy Pop and David Bowie… who showed her his ‘notorious’ manhood as they got high

    In an excerpt published by Page Six, the Call Me artist recalls how Bowie and Iggy confided that their cocaine dealer had just died, leaving them without a supply. Harry happened to be carrying a gram of the drug, which she shared with her friends.

    English singer Bowie then thanked Harry with a surprising gesture. ‘He pulled out his c**k, as if I was the official c**k checker,’ Harry writes in the memoir, which is out Tuesday.’David’s size was notorious, of course, and he loved to pull it out for men and women. It was so . . . sexy.’

    But it appears Pop was not so voyeuristic: ‘I had to wonder why Iggy didn’t let me have a closer look at his d**k.’ Bowie had been playing keyboard for Iggy, who was on his Idiot tour, while Blondie were opening for the star.

    She isn’t even aware of how problematic he was. My God that poor woman.

    The highly-anticipated book is filled with plenty of other colorful anecdotes, including how she re-positioned one-time boyfriend Penn Jillette’s jacuzzi jets for ultimate female pleasure.

    Harry wrote: ‘Penn patented the orgasmatron tub. I kept expecting his wife to at least send me flowers.’

    Libertarians ftw!

  50. Gustave Lytton

    Dug out the access cover for the septic tank. Time for a nap.

    1. Crusty Juggler

      Pics pls thx

    2. Suthenboy

      That is a fun job

      1. Crusty Juggler

        My father would have me do it twice a year as a punishment. He would then ask, “how did it look in there?” wtf, Dad?

    3. DEG

      I’ve done that before.

  51. Crusty Juggler

    The hottest new psychedelic drug among trendy New Yorkers is illegal toad venom

    Sitting cross-legged on a blanket in his Soho apartment, Barrett Pall inhaled toad-venom smoke through a glass stem pipe.

    Thirty seconds later, he was crying.

    “I was crying really hard, yelling ‘I’m so sorry’ over and over,” Pall recalled to The Post of his first time experimenting with the illegal psychedelic drug last year. (He’s since tried it twice more.)

    “I saw my younger self with my parents and ex-boyfriends in places [where] I’d been hurt.”

    The ­social-media influencer and life coach said the experience concluded after 45 minutes of “shooting through the universe” and “being reborn.”

    Despite the trip’s short duration, the effects of toad venom — which is extracted from Colorado River toads, also known as Sonoran Desert toads — come on strongly and immediately. It leaves users immobile and unaware, and can cause extreme emotional reactions, euphoria and vomiting, according to drug researchers and users.

    Time to ban toads.

    1. Yusef

      Hey, I live right there, anyone wanna buy some Toads?

      1. Hyperion

        How much is a dime bag of toad?

        1. OneOut

          A dime ?

          Just guessing though.

    2. MikeS

      Finally. A drug with no bad side effects.

    3. Rhywun

      Time to ban toads animals.

      Just to be sure.

      1. Hyperion

        Time to ban animals fun. Lets cut to the chase. The peasants cannot be allowed fun, it’s too dangerous.

    4. Raven Nation

      Musical version of the PSA: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E9YEc_iOuLg

  52. hayeksplosives

    Wonderful volunteers are here removing our wonderful but visually hideous playground thingy in the backyard.

    Hubs insisted on keeping it until his grandkids visited. Well, they did visit but had no interest in the play Set/tree house.

    So thank the gods it’s coming down today and getting reassembled at the local Moose Lodge playground.

    1. Hyperion

      What? Err, I mean, there are government employees in our yard? What crime did you commit?

      1. hayeksplosives

        No! Not govt, they would have put my request in committee or some such.

        This is a husband and wife from the local Moose Lodge, doing God’s work!!

        1. Hyperion

          “doing God’s work!”

          That’s racist.

  53. Spudalicious

    Cardinals suck.

    1. Hyperion

      Raiders just kicked Indy ass. I guess the Grudock is a work in progress. Except for Josh Jacobs, he’s the real deal.

    2. Gender Traitor

      Baseball or football?

      1. Spudalicious

        Football. Seahawks are going all STEVE SMITH on them.

        1. banginglc1

          I missed the development of Steve Smith . . . When I first was reading about it I wondered why everyone made so many jokes about that guy on the Panthers.

          1. Hyperion

            Dude, you don’t know about the original Steve Smith/SF fiasco at TOS? Because if you don’t you’ve actually missed the funniest thing that has ever happened in the history of the intertoobs.

          2. banginglc1

            Nope . . .there was a good chance I was already a lurker by then, but I never saw the originator thread.

          3. Hyperion

            Dude, you need to do your homework, there is a reason that SF is an internet legend.If some else cannot step up to the plate, I can help you.

          4. Old Man With Candy

            Even better, Warty was the one who observed that the original Steve Smith looked like “a shaved sasquatch.” SF ran with it.

          5. Raven Nation

            Even funnier was the cricket story from last year about Steve Smith being found guilty of ball tampering.

          6. Hyperion

            There’s nothing funnier that the RapeSquatch saga. Nothing, ever, in history.

  54. Crusty Juggler

    Record U.S. tariff award over Airbus aid could fuel trade tensions

    The World Trade Organization (WTO) has found that both European planemaker Airbus and its U.S. rival Boeing received billions of dollars of illegal subsidies in a pair of cases that have run for 15 years.

    Both sides have threatened tariffs after the Geneva body found neither adhered fully to its findings. However, the United States has a head start, with the European Union having to wait until early in 2020 to hear what level of retaliation it can exact over Boeing.

    The WTO is expected this week to reveal the amount of EU goods the United States can target. People familiar with the case say the three-person tribunal is expected to award it around $7.5 billion, a record for the 24-year-old watchdog.

    Such retaliation rights are rarely granted by the WTO – most parties reach settlements – and in many cases complainants do not exercise their rights. The United States though has indicated it will target EU goods to the fullest extent.

    It’s always a positive when trade becomes more complicated.

    1. Rhywun

      #winning

    2. Suthenboy

      Aside from a few Euro shitboxes what do we import from there?

      1. Not Adahn

        Cheese!

        1. Spudalicious

          Wine! Whisky!

          1. Hyperion

            Beer? That’s one of the things Eurotards do better than us. Americans are apparently incapable of making a good lager.

          2. banginglc1

            Umm . . .I know it sounds German, but Americans make Budweiser.

          3. Spudalicious

            It’s actually Czech. And the original is light years better than Bud.

          4. Hyperion

            “Americans make Budweiser.”

            Yeah, that’s what I just said.

          5. Rhywun

            Budweis is the German name of the Czech city. And they were the majority of the population until the 1800s.

          6. Urthona

            Americans make better beer than Euros these days.

          7. Hyperion

            Yeah, I dont’ think so. Unless you think shitty IPA is actually good beer.

          8. MikeS

            There’s plenty of good lagers out there. They just aren’t widespread. And won’t be until this IPA craze calms down. (as long as it isn’t replaced with a sour/gose craze)

          9. Nephilium

            Hyperion: I’m sorry, but the Euros are starting to follow the trends in beer making here in the US.

            MikeS: Don’t you harsh my love of sours.

          10. Not Adahn

            Neph, you have some insight into the beverage industry — WTF is the deal with these skinny 12oz cans? Is it a marketing thing to appeal to wimmenfolk?

          11. Women most definitely prefer more circumference to less.

          12. DEG

            I’m sorry, but the Euros are starting to follow the trends in beer making here in the US.

            Other than bourbon barrel aging, I view this as a bad thing.

          13. Nephilium

            Not Adahn: The thin 12 oz cans exist. The only thing I can think of is that the cost of them is lower then the standard ones. Or it’s just so people can drink beers without being recognized as beer drinkers.

          14. Not Adahn

            These guys make much-better-than-average cider, but use the skinny cans. It annoys me, but not enough to not drink it.

      2. Hyperion

        Cars. Americans love German cars. But no worries, Merkel and her merry band of commies are going to destroy all of that, for the planet.

        1. Sean

          ? my GTI.

        2. Not Adahn

          I used to love BMWs. Then sometime in the early 21st century, the fun:price ratio went completely to shit. I blame Chris Bangle.

  55. Crusty Juggler

    Street fires burn in Hong Kong amid running battles between protesters and police

    Hong Kong police fired water cannon, rubber bullets and tear gas at petrol bomb-throwing protesters on Sunday in some of the most widespread and violent clashes in more than three months of anti-government unrest.

    Protesters, many of them dressed in black and wearing face masks, took cover from the tear gas behind umbrellas, some throwing the canisters back at police.

    They built barricades with trolleys and trash cans and other debris. One threw a petrol bomb at police in the Wan Chai metro station. Others tried and failed to smash cameras over Bank of China ATMs but spray-painted the screens instead.

    Is there a bright side?

    Protesters also smashed the windows of a taxi and sprayed graffiti on the windows of businesses including Starbucks outlets. Small scuffles continued into the evening.

    Nice.

    Ho, a 25-year-old working at an investment bank, was scattering bricks along a road in Wan Chai for others to use.
    “When the police come, we have to move quickly and we need to pick these up as we run,” he said.

    Asked how he knew when the police were coming, he said supporters were following police all day, trying to listen in on their plans.

    An organized resistance is hard to combat.

    1. commodious spittoon

      Your precious rifles aren’t going to stop the military from taking over your towns, wingnuts.

    2. Suthenboy

      Meanwhile, back in the land of the free and the brave that sniveling little cocksucker Beta is receiving applause for going around the country smacking his fist down and informing us that we will submit, disarm and obey or else.
      The more I think about it the angrier I get.

      1. commodious spittoon

        Maybe we misread his comments at Kent State. He wasn’t upbraiding gun owners for bringing rifles to protest his appearance… he was pining for days when government put a boot to the faces of dissidents.

  56. Crusty Juggler

    Transplanting poop can be beneficial—swapping vaginal fluids may be even better

    In the afterglow of successful fecal transplants, researchers are now sniffing around vaginal fluids for the next possible bodily product to improve health—and they’re roused by the possibilities.

    Vaginal fluid transplants could “revolutionize the way we view and treat conditions affecting the female reproductive tract,” researchers at Johns Hopkins wrote in a recent study on vaginal microbiota transplants (VMTs). If they work as researchers hypothesize, they could rub out many common problems at once. And based on what we know of vaginas, they could be far less messy than transplants involving poop.

    smdh at the way that’s written. Grow up much?

    The basic idea behind VMTs is identical to that of poop transplants, aka fecal microbiota transplants (FMTs), which have been around for centuries. Generally, FMTs aim to use microbe-laden bodily products—in this case excrement—to introduce or restore rich, complex microbial communities into the innards of ailing recipients.

    How do you donate healthy poo?

    While few women may end up qualifying to be donors, the researchers note that “the idea of a ‘super-donor’ with no identified past or current infections and with favorable Lactobacillus-dominated microbiota is one that should be explored and is of potential high impact to the project and the field.”

    The real superhero in this world is the woman with the pristine cooch. Show yourself, hero! We need you!

    *spotlight of vagina is reflected in the night sky*

    1. westernsloper

      -1 tuna fish odor

    2. Spudalicious

      +1 scissoring.

      1. Not Adahn

        MFF FTW!

          1. Well I WOULD have read it but the site kept jumping around in me and throwing ads and generally being a cunte.

          2. DEG

            AdultFriendFinder is definitely a place for couples or single women. Not a good place for single men.

          3. Jarflax

            Markets are notoriously hard on those who can only offer an item which is over supplied and are seeking an item which is over demanded. In the hookup world it is not exactly rocket science to figure out what is in demand, and what is over supplied.

    3. Does sex with a superdonor give you a super cock?

      1. Crusty Juggler

        More research must be conducted with superdonors and…ummm…researchers…to find out.

    4. Hyperion

      “swapping vaginal fluids may be even better

      I’m all about the wifey’s vaginal fluids, I mean yummy, but I don’t have a trade in, I mean, what?

  57. Count Potato

    “Speedo-wearing Dr Phil guest, 37, who legally changed his name to ‘Sexy Vegan’ and had it tattooed on his face is arrested for ‘sexually assaulting his pet pitbull and posting video of the act on social media’”

    https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-7518281/California-man-legally-changed-Sexy-Vegan-arrested-sexually-assaulting-dog.html

    Stay classy, Los Angeles.

    1. Crusty Juggler

      It’s always endearing when Dr. Phil uses a clearly mentally disturbed man to benefit his program.

      1. MikeS

        But he always make very serious looking faces and uses kitschy, down-home sayings to convey concern!

  58. Count Potato

    “Blondie’s Debbie Harry has revealed how she once shared a gram of her cocaine with fellow icons Iggy Pop and David Bowie, during a wild New York night out in 1977.

    In an excerpt published by Page Six, the Call Me artist recalls how Bowie and Iggy confided that their cocaine dealer had just died, leaving them without a supply.

    So she shot Lou Reed in the nuts, and the drugs fell out of his ass.”

    https://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-7517841/Debbie-Harry-opens-taking-cocaine-David-Bowie-showed-notorious-manhood.html

    1. Sean

      A rock star was only carrying a gram?

      Sounds like fake news.

  59. The Late P Brooks

    Time to ban toads.

    Nonsense. Ban social media influencers and life coaches.

  60. The Late P Brooks

    What

    the

    fuck?

    Who thought it was a good idea to dress the Bears in those get-ups? Is that some sort of “look stupid, play angry” psychological ploy?

    And now they’re talking about it; social justice committee? Good grief.

  61. Crusty Juggler

    The 45th Season of ‘Saturday Night Live’ Looks and Sounds a Lot Like the 44th

    The joke was that the talk show kept flashing back to earlier episodes in which the wonks predicted Trump’s demise based on earlier scandals, which required the wonks to keep changing clothes for those flashbacks, and halfway through, some poor SNL stagehand got caught dead-center-stage tugging at Bryant’s sleeve, and Bryant thus spent the rest of the skit giggling uncontrollably. And so the purest moment of comedy was a fairly colossal and totally delightful screwup amid the 20,000th sketch about the Groundhog Day hellscape that is SNL (and every other comedy outlet, to be fair) attempting to break new comedic ground in the Trump era. After the Gillis fiasco, the stakes are higher, but the larger and far more vexing problem is that we’re stuck with the same old caricatures that can barely keep pace with the real-live humans being caricatured. This season, root for anarchy, or at least the tinier moments of vibrant weirdness. Eilish and Rudolph spent most of the curtain call entranced by each others’ hair. They could’ve kept it up for 20 minutes. Which would at least have been something you haven’t seen 20 times before.

    When you’ve lost the white dorks at The Ringer (although Harvilla is a good writer), you’ve lost.

    1. Suthenboy

      SNL is still on?
      huh.

  62. Spudalicious

    OFFS. Chicago is wearing uniforms from the ’30s, when blacks were not allowed to play in the NFL. It was a decision made by the Bears, “Social Justice Committee”.

    1. leon

      That doesn’t make any sense….

      Unless they Hate black people…. and this is Chicago…

      1. Spudalicious

        Look how far we’ve come. Look how woke we are.

  63. The people behind this criticism should be raped with rusty farm implements.

    https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Shinola_(retail_company)#Made_in_America_marketing

    1. Crusty Juggler

      It is overprice bougie crap, but they have invested heavily in their workforce, so while the reaction to Shinola has never been too surprising, it is still surprising. “We are going to make a profiling creating work for some of the un or underemployed in Detroit to make overpriced goods to sell to people who want to buy American goods.”

      Problem?

      1. MUH GENTRUHFUHKASHUN
        MUH WYPIPO
        MUH KULCHURUL PROPREEASHUN

      2. Crusty Juggler

        profit, not profiling. Listen, the Bills game was tension-filled and maddening and Lagunitas IPA is delicious.

    2. Count Potato

      I thought it was the Canadian Prime Minister keeping this Shinola business.

      https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Shinola

  64. DEG

    Hickok45 shooting a Remington Rolling Block in .45-70 government

    From the comments:

    The only government I trust is the .45-70 government.

      1. Spudalicious

        Dayum!

      2. Tonio

        That’s just mesmerizing.

    1. Crusty Juggler
  65. The Late P Brooks

    It’s a song about beer

  66. Gender Traitor

    “Holy Grail” on BBC Yank FTW!

    1. Nephilium

      Some of us can quote the entire movie from memory.

      /not proud of this.

      1. leon

        Some Call me……Tim

        1. Yusef

          The Enchanter?

      1. DEG

        Definitely better than Leninthink.

      2. commodious spittoon

        God bless bimbo bars.

        (But I’d choose Ojos Locos over Hooters anytime.)

        1. DEG

          I have not fully recovered from the closing of the local Tilted Kilt.

          1. commodious spittoon

            I was watching caber tossing earlier so my mind went to burly, hairy Scotsmen.

          2. commodious spittoon

            I mean, I assume they’re hairy. I figure you can’t get that big without your follicles squeezing out tufts.

          3. DEG

            I’ll just bask in my reminiscences of the Tilted Kilt.

      3. Yusef

        I see’d a few Big Butts in there, I like Big Butts….

        1. Tonio

          You tell the truth, Yusef.

        2. Hyperion

          I just watch my wife’s evening shows on Globo. Jeebus fucking Christ, that shit should be illegal, because death by boner is a thing.

    1. Rhywun

      Christ, what an asshole.

    2. Rhywun

      The true Leninist did not even believe in Leninism.

      Rings a bell.

      1. commodious spittoon

        The stuff at the end with the continuum and those who truly understand it is what hit home most.

      2. Suthenboy

        So leftist ideology is all about power and nothing else. Goddamn, you could knock me over with a feather right now.

    3. Jarflax

      There is a degree of naivete even in this article. This everything for power, all is moral if it advances us toward our goal mindset is far older than Leninism. You find it in the Jacobins during the terror. There are foreshadowings of it in the inquisition and the bonfire of the vanities.

      1. OBJ FRANKELSON

        The point I got from the article was that prior to this a government had to a least generate a rationale for their grasps for power. Even late empire Roman emperors had to justify their actions to, at the very least, the Praetorians, in some way that was vaguely anchored to reality. Lenin, it would seem, dispensed with the pretense and took advantage of our very human need for tribe and social acceptance.

      2. Suthenboy

        Of course it is. Marxism is just an ideology custom-made to facilitate absolute power, one used very effectively by the Lenins, Stalins, Maos, Chavezs of the world on a scale both grand and petty. It is more sophisticated yet the end goal is no more complex than that of a claim of divine rights of rulers. The mindset has always been around, this is just the latest horror added to the totalitarian toolbox.

    4. Suthenboy

      Which one of the left coast cities has a Lenin statue? Portland? Seattle? one of those places. If I had my way I would melt the damned thing down, manufacture cartridge cases from it and use them to shoot commies.

  67. Not Adahn

    I would like to thank whoever de-lurked to tell me about the Langdon TJIB. Since I got into the IDPA class at the new club, I’ve been spending some actual range time with the Beretta, and although it’s a lot flippier than than the CZ, it’s every bit as accurate after I did the install.

  68. Old Man With Candy

    Wish me Godspeed. I’m at the airport on my way to Seattle. I may not survive the experience.

    1. DEG

      Safe travels.

    2. Not Adahn

      Stay away from City Hall. They’re not fond of (((your kind))).

    3. Aus

      Probably been mentioned before, but the documentary “Seattle is Dying” is worth a watch.

      https://youtu.be/bpAi70WWBlw

      1. A throwback to actual journalism.

    4. About 1/10 of those needles still have some smack in them so keep looking and you’ll find enough to get well.

    5. egould310

      Want to grab a beer while you’re in Seattle? I’m in Ballard and my schedule this week is pretty light. I’ll be around afternoons and evenings. Email my handle at g mail.

  69. The Late P Brooks

    I’m at the airport on my way to Seattle. I may not survive the experience.

    Did you pack your mukluks?

    1. Old Man With Candy

      I actually have… a jacket. Weird.

      I keep telling myself, “At least it’s not Portland.”

      1. Yusef

        as it finally cools down here, don’t freeze, and bring some socks!

      2. Hyperion

        “I keep telling myself, “At least it’s not Portland.”

        Did the chicken have a name?

        1. Old Man With Candy

          Colin. And yes, he had friends.

  70. mikey

    Cold. grey and damp. Good day for an old movie. I went with To Catch A Thief.

    Grace Kelly

        1. mikey

          That’s the one I’d have picked

    1. Not Adahn

      …Fred Astaire, Ginger Rodgers danced on air?

    2. Not an Economist

      I saw the new Rambo movie because of the controversy. It wasn’t bad for pure revenge flick. Sylvester Stallone was the only Caucasian in the movie.

      1. OBJ FRANKELSON

        So we are counting the Eye-ties as white now? A man with a funny mustache made that same mistake and it didn’t end well.

      2. Suthenboy

        Controversy? Over a Stallone movie?

        1. Not an Economist

          Well the baddies were Mexican and in Mexico. So that means the movie was supporting Trump and his wall.

  71. Well you clowns, someone near and dear to you finally broke down and bought this.

    https://fnamerica.com/products/rifles/fn-ps90-standard/

    This individual also loves this particular object so much that he’d marry it if it had the right plumbing.

    #007Goldeneye4evah #Finallyhavemoneytodobucketlistshit

    1. DEG

      Excellent. Let us know what you think.

      I’ve been doing more buying than shooting. I need to log into GunBroker to check up on an auction ending today for a Winchester P14.

      1. Not Adahn

        Yeah, that’s a sin. I’ve had to make a conscious effort to NOT buy anything other than ammo.

        1. DEG

          I put a bid in on that P14. We’ll see how it shakes out. Auction ends in an hour.

      2. Sean

        The Oaks guntoberfest is next weekend. I’m planning on going and impulse buying something.

        https://gunshowtrader.com/gun-shows/oaks-guntoberfest/

        1. DEG

          No big travel for me until my leg and back problems are sorted out.

          That weekend is the weekend of the Race of Gentlemen in Wildwood, NJ. I was going to go with some folks from New England, but given my leg/back problems, I cancelled.

          1. Not Adahn

            You should come shoot with me at my club’s AP match the weekend of Oct 26.

          2. DEG

            CZ-75 OK? We’ll see how my leg/back is.

          3. Sean

            Sorry to hear about the health problems.

          4. DEG

            Thanks. Herniated disc with nerve impingement. Well, at least I know what’s wrong.

    2. Sean

      Now your Stargate cosplay outfit is complete.

      1. Not Adahn

        Don’t forget Westworld.

        1. Sean

          Never watched it.

          1. Not Adahn

            It’s HBO, so nice tits show up often.

          2. Not Adahn

            You should, if only for the bitchin’ Le Mat

    3. Aus

      Congrats. Will you be inviting any glibs to the wedding?

      If I could marry my dream, it’d be the Sig 552.

      Not sure if those are available in civ model or sold in US though.

    1. Not Adahn

      That is a ridiculous amount of brass for a 9mm.

      Also, Ian has got to be one of the few guys living a fantasy life.

  72. DEG

    Forgotten Weapons on the last Rock Island Auction.

    I bid on the Lee-Speed from the Jameson Raid. I lost big.