Glibertarians.com 2019 Archive

3rd Annual Glib Community Thanksgiving Recipe Post!

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A note about the format for this post: I’ve added the recipes accordion style to avoid having multiple tabs open and to prevent having to scroll for miles to see them all. When you click on the + on the right side of an item, the previous item you were looking at will close. Depending on the speed of your connection, it may take a second for your browser to bring the new item to the top of the screen. Note that the recipes are now organized by category. Each category’s accordion functions only for that section.

Each item has a print button. You may save or print the recipe as a pdf, or just simply make it easier to have the one you want open on your mobile device without all the rest of the page clutter.

I’ve included the recipes from last year’s post, but not a couple items from 2017 that were narratives. You can read that post here.

Enjoy these Thanksgiving recipes contributed by your fellow Glibs!

Happy Thanksgiving!
~ SP

[/et_pb_text][et_pb_text admin_label=”Beverages” _builder_version=”4.0.5″ text_orientation=”center”]

BEVERAGES

[/et_pb_text][et_pb_accordion disabled_on=”off|off|off” admin_label=”beverage accordion” module_class=”my_accordian” _builder_version=”4.0.5″][et_pb_accordion_item open=”on” _builder_version=”4.0.5″ overflow-x=”hidden” overflow-y=”hidden” overflow-x_tablet=”” overflow-x_phone=”” overflow-x_last_edited=”on|phone” custom_css_open_toggle=”display: none” custom_css_toggle_title=”display: none” custom_css_toggle_icon=”display: none” custom_css_toggle_content=”display: none” custom_css_toggle=”display: none”][/et_pb_accordion_item][et_pb_accordion_item title=”A note on Thanksgiving wine pairings by Spudalicious” _builder_version=”4.0.5″ open=”off”]

print as pdf

 

I’m going to go through what I consider to be decent wine pairings for the traditional Thanksgiving meal.

We’re talking turkey, stuffing, mashed potatoes, a boatload of gravy, cranberry sauce and the token side dishes that only Aunt Martha eats.

This is a high salt, high fat, carb rich environment. It can also be a wine killer. And turkey really doesn’t pair well with heavy wines. My overall suggestion is that you want a wine that can cut through all of that. Meaning, leave your high dollar Cabernets and your big, blousy, oak filled Chardonnays in the cellar. All they will do is add to the heaviness of the meal.

White wines

Light, crisp, aromatic, those are all descriptions to look for in a white wine pairing. One of my favorites is a dry Gewurztraminer. I’m not talking about the majority of the wines available that have too much residual sugar, I’m talking about a lighter in body, fruity, spicy dry white. A producer I would point to is Navarro Vineyards.

Another white that would fit the bill is a dry Riesling. DRY people, DRY. Navarro also fits the bill quite well here. You could also go German and look for a Riesling in the Kabinett, or maybe the Spatlese category. It will depend on the producer.

Sauvignon Blanc is also a good choice. Just keep an eye on the alcohol level. Some of the New Zealand brands would fit well, just don’t go too crisp and dry. You want to cut through the richness of the meal, not hack it to bits with a machete.

If you insist on Chardonnay, go with one of the many unoaked versions now on the market. They are crisper and still maintain the Chardonnay flavor profile. Two to choose from would be Joel Gott and Mer et Soleil Silver Label. These are both in the $15-20 range.

Rosé

Avoid domestic producers. Almost all of them have too much residual sugar. Look to Rosés from the south of France, such as Provence, or Italy. They are dry and crisp and would be a good foil to the meal.

Red wines

As I mentioned earlier, avoid the Cabernet. Save it for Christmas Eve prime rib.

Georges Debouf is a marketing genius. Around this time of year, Beaujolais Noeveau is released. It’s a young, fresh light red from France made from the Gamay grape. It goes well with heavy dishes. Traditional Beaujolais would also work well. Fruity and not too heavy.

Pinot Noir. Love, love, love a good Pinot for Thanksgiving. This is my go to. Go with what you like but given what’s happened with the alcohol levels in Pinot Noir, I would avoid anything much above 14% and most preferably, below. Oregon Pinot would be a good choice here.

Domestic Syrah these days are pretty much a variation on Pinot in structure. Stay away from the big alcohol versions and you should do okay. Sierra Foothills and some of the choices from Washington State should be just fine. As much as I would love to tell you to go with a Cote Rotie from France, I just don’t think this is the place for it.

One big red that I have found does seem to work well on Thanksgiving is Zinfandel. Avoid the monsters over 15% alcohol and try and find something a little more balanced. Sierra Foothills is again a place to look to to fit the bill.

What about the pumpkin pie?

This is where the sticky white wines go. As long as your pie isn’t too sweet, this is the time to pour small glasses of late harvest Gewürztraminer, Riesling, Muscat, or a Sauternes. Again, go with a small pour. It’s the end of the meal and a few sips will be plenty to cap off the event.

The other alternative to the above suggestions?

Drink whatever you want. Box, jug, homemade, whatever. If it you like it and it makes you happy, go with it. It is, after all, Thanksgiving. A time to enjoy friends and family, and reflect on just how good we’ve got it compared to those poor saps who didn’t hit the lottery and get to be an American.

[/et_pb_accordion_item][et_pb_accordion_item title=”DblEagle’s Aged Eggnog” _builder_version=”3.17.6″ open=”off”]

DblEagle's Aged Eggnog

  • Dozen egg yolks (reserve the whites for something else)
  • 1 lb sugar
  • 1 pint half and half
  • 1 pint heavy cream
  • 1 pint whole milk
  • 1 cup rum
  • 1 cup cognac
  • 1 cup bourbon
  • 1 teaspoon nutmeg ( freshly grated is best)
  • 1/4 teaspoon (kosher) salt
  1. Beat egg yolks, sugar and nutmeg until falls off a whisk in a smooth ribbon
  2. Combine the dairy, booze and salt in different container
  3. Slowly beat the booze mixture into the egg mixture
  4. Store in glass container(s) for 2 weeks to 2 months* in refrigerator
  5. Serve in glasses with nutmeg (fresh is best) garnish

* You can drink immediately (and I have) but the aging time enables the tastes to smoothly combine


[/et_pb_accordion_item][et_pb_accordion_item title=”Autumnal Cocktail from RC Dean” _builder_version=”3.17.6″ open=”off”]

Autumnal Cocktail from RC Dean

Not sure what the name of this one is, but the maple syrup makes it very autumnal.

  • 3 oz. Rye or bourbon (- I prefer rye for just about any cocktail)
  • 3/4 oz. Orange Juice
  • 1/3 oz. Lemon Juice
  • 3/4 oz Dark Maple Syrup
  • 4-6 dashes bitters (Angostura works, but I also like Woodford Reserve Bourbon Barrel)
  • Seltzer couple ounces
  • Orange garnish (optional)
  1. I originally saw this “stirred, not shaken”. In my experience, you may not get the maple syrup to fully dissolve by stirring, so I prefer to make this one in my trusty shaker (also, drinks with citrus are classically shaken). The RC Dean method is to put everything but the seltzer and garnish in a shaker, pour over ice, top with seltzer and garnish.
  2. Protip: if you add the seltzer to the shaker, you will get a spectacular mess, so don’t do that.


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APPETIZERS & BREADS

[/et_pb_text][et_pb_accordion admin_label=”appetizers and breads accordion” module_class=”my_accordian” _builder_version=”4.0.5″][et_pb_accordion_item open=”on” _builder_version=”4.0.5″ custom_css_open_toggle=”display: none” custom_css_toggle_title=”display: none” custom_css_toggle_icon=”display: none” custom_css_toggle_content=”display: none” custom_css_toggle=”display: none”][/et_pb_accordion_item][et_pb_accordion_item title=”Artichoke Dip by jesse.in.mb” _builder_version=”3.17.6″ open=”off”]

Artichoke Dip

Use fresh dill because dried dill is for little bitches, as is spinach in artichoke dip…get that filler out of here!

  • 1 14 ounce can artichoke hearts (drained)
  • 1 8 ounce package cream cheese
  • 1 cup grated good Parmesan cheese
  • 1/2 cup mayonnaise
  • 1 clove garlic peeled
  • 1 teaspoon dill weed or to taste
  1. Preheat oven to 400F
  2. Process the artichoke hearts in a food processor until smooth.
  3. Add cream cheese, Parmesan, mayonnaise, garlic and dill to the artichoke mixture in the food processor and process until desired texture, but well blended.
  4. Spoon into a 9-inch pie pan.
  5. Bake 10 to 15 minutes, or until bubbly and light golden brown.


[/et_pb_accordion_item][et_pb_accordion_item title=”SP’s Easy Dinner Rolls – Vegan (or Not)” _builder_version=”3.17.6″ open=”off”]

SP’s Easy Dinner Rolls – Vegan (or Not)

(Use the ingredients in the parentheses for Not Vegan)

  • 2 tbsp white sugar ((or honey))
  • 1/2 tsp salt
  • 1 2-1/4 tsp packet rapid-rise yeast
  • 2 cups unbleached all-purpose flour give or take – divided
  • 1/2 cup unsweetened plain almond milk ((or regular milk))
  • 1/4 cup water
  • 2 tbsp margarine and a bit more for finishing ((or butter))
  1. With a small whisk, combine the sugar, salt, yeast and 1 cup of flour in a small bowl.
  2. In a microwave safe bowl or measuring cup, heat milk, water, and margarine or butter to about 105F. If it’s too hot, let it cool a bit before using.
  3. Place the dry ingredients into the bowl of a food processor or stand mixer. With the machine running, pour in the liquid ingredients. Process or mix for 2 minutes or so. Scrape the bowl sides, add 1/2 cup more flour and beat or process until a soft dough forms, about 2 more minutes. The dough will be sticky, but should loosely hold its shape.
  4. If the dough is too soft, mix in the rest of the flour a tablespoon at a time until the dough is still soft but holds shape. Turn the dough out and let it rest on a floured surface, covered, for 10-15 minutes.
  5. Meanwhile, grease an 8-inch round cake pan. An actual 8-inch pan, not man “8-inches.”
  6. Divide the dough into 8-12 pieces and shape into rounds. (I am a little compulsive, so I weigh the dough to have rolls of the same size at the end.) Place the shaped rolls in the greased cake pan, cover and let rise until doubled, about 45 minutes.
  7. While the rolls are rising, preheat the oven to 375F.
  8. Bake the rolls for 20 minutes or until nicely browned. If you wish, brush the top of the rolls with a little melted margarine or butter. Serve pretty close to immediately.

And you thought you couldn’t bake yeast breads from scratch!


[/et_pb_accordion_item][et_pb_accordion_item title=”Jennifer Reese’s Cornbread – contributed by jesse.in.mb” _builder_version=”3.17.6″ open=”off”]

Jennifer Reese's Cornbread

  • 6 tablespoons 3/4 stick unsalted butter
  • 1 cup all-purpose flour
  • 1 cup white or yellow cornmeal (whatever grind you like)
  • 1/2 cup sugar
  • 4 teaspoons baking powder
  • 1 teaspoon kosher salt
  • 2 large eggs
  • 1 cup milk
  1. Preheat the oven to 375°F. Put the butter in a 10-inch pie plate and place it in the oven to melt.
  2. Mix the flour, cornmeal, sugar, baking powder, and salt in a large bowl. In a smaller bowl, whisk together the eggs and milk.
  3. When the butter has melted, take the pie plate out of the oven and swirl the butter around to coat the pan.
  4. Let it cool for 1 or 2 minutes, then pour the butter into the milk-egg mixture. Whisk to combine.
  5. Whisk the liquid into the dry mixture–not too strenuously. A few lumps are okay.
  6. Pour into the pie plate and bake for 25 minutes. When it is done, the bread will be slightly puffed and a toothpick inserted in the middle will come out clean.
  7. Serve immediately. Leftovers keep for a few days, covered, at room temperature.


[/et_pb_accordion_item][et_pb_accordion_item title=”westernsloper’s Candied Jalapenos” _builder_version=”4.0.5″ open=”off”]

westernsloper’s Candied Jalapenos

There was a place in Phoenix (can’t remember the name) that topped one of their burgers with candied japs and it was great. I had to try and duplicate it and this is what I came up with.

  • 10 japs sliced
  • 6 baby carrots sliced longways into 1/4’s
  • 1 c water
  • 1/2 c White Vinegar
  • 1/2 c Apple Cider Vinegar
  • 1-1/2 c sugar
  1. Bring liquid to boil, add sugar and dissolve.
  2. Add japs and simmer/slow boil/reduce until mixture is bubbly and thick (couple hours or so).
  3. Jar it up and refrigerate. Top burgers, pulled pork, anything.

SP’s note: I bet this would be killer on a leftover-turkey sandwich!

[/et_pb_accordion_item][et_pb_accordion_item title=”Tulip’s Mother’s French Landlady’s Bread Recipe” _builder_version=”3.17.6″ open=”off”]

Tulip's Mother's French Landlady's Bread Recipe

This no fuss recipe is what a French housewife actually made. To make the recipe even easier, my mother, who is in her 80s, uses a food processor to mix the dough. Just be careful not to over work it. I get better results with the spoon. If you over work it, you don’t get the air pockets.

  • 1/2 c scalded milk
  • 1 c water
  • 1 1/2 T sugar
  • 1-1/2 T butter
  • 1/4 c additional warm water
  • 1 pkg yeast
  • 4 c flour
  • 2 tsp salt
  • 1/2 T sugar
  1. Add 1 c water, butter and sugar to scalded milk.
  2. Cool to lukewarm.
  3. Add 1/4 c water and yeast. Rest 10 minutes.
  4. Add flour salt and sugar. Beat 100 strokes with wooden spoon.
  5. Let rise 2 hours.
  6. Cut into 2 and shape into loaves.
  7. Put loaves on greased sheet and sprinkle with cornmeal. Slash tops and let rise 30 minutes or more.
  8. Bake at 400 for 15 minutes then at 350 for 30 minutes more.

It is not as good as what you get with a poolish, but adding steam during the bake gets the flaky crust. It is also easy easy easy, so worth it. I use it as a canvas – so easy to change to a honey wheat or oatmeal etc. I also think of it as truly authentic.

My favorite variation is sub 1 cup oatmeal for 1 cup flour and replace the sugar with brown sugar. Put the oatmeal in a bowl with the butter and brown sugar. Pour the scalded milk over the oatmeal and let cool to lukewarm. Then continue as normal.


[/et_pb_accordion_item][et_pb_accordion_item title=”Pistoffnick’s Smoked Fish” _builder_version=”4.0.5″ open=”off”]

Pistoffnick's Smoked Fish

This is what my brother looks forward to every T-day. I do too.

  • 5 pounds salmon, trout or whitefish ((salmon is my favorite))

BRINE

  • 1 quart cool water
  • 1/3 cup kosher salt (about 2 ounces of any kosher salt)
  • 1 cup Stevia or 1 cup brown sugar if you are not low carb
  1. Cure the Fish. Mix together the brine ingredients and place your fish in a non-reactive container (plastic or glass), cover and put in the refrigerator. This curing process eliminates some of the moisture from the inside of the fish while at the same time infusing it with salt, which will help preserve the salmon.
  2. You will need to cure your salmon at least 4 hours, even for thin fillets from trout or pink salmon. In my experience, large trout or whitefish, as well as pink, sockeye and silver salmon need 8 hours. A really thick piece of king salmon might need as much as 36 hours in the brine. Never go more than 48 hours, however, or your fish will be too salty(there is no such thing as too salty, ok, maybe there is but…). Double the brine if it’s not enough to cover the fish.
  3. Dry the Fish. Take your fish out of the brine and pat it dry. Set the fillets on your cooling rack, skin side down. Ideally you’d do this right under a ceiling fan set on high, or outside in a cool, breezy place. By “cool” I mean 60°F or cooler. Let the fish dry for 2 to 4 hours (or up to overnight in the fridge). You want the surface of the fish to develop a shiny skin called a pellicle. This is one step many beginning smokers fail to do, but drying your cured, brined fish in a cool, breezy place is vital to properly smoking it. The pellicle, which is a thin, lacquer-like layer on top of the fish, seals it and offers a sticky surface for the smoke to adhere to. Don’t worry, the salt in the brine will protect your fish from spoilage. Once you have your pellicle, you can refrigerate your fish for a few hours and smoke it later if you’d like.
  4. Smoke your fish. Start by slicking the skin of your fish with some oil, so it won’t stick to the smoker rack. Know that even though this is hot smoking, you still do not want high temperatures. Start with a small fire and work your way up as you go. It is important to bring the temperature up gradually or you will get that white albumin “bleed” on the meat. I can control my heat with my smoker, so I start the process between 140°F and 150°F for up to an hour, then finish at 175°F for a final hour or two. NOTE: What my smoker is set at is not necessarily what the actual temperature is. Smoking is an art, not a science. To keep temperatures mild, always put water in your drip pan to keep the temperature down. If your smoker is very hot, like a Traeger can get, put ice in the tray. I generally soak apple wood chip in water for at least an hour, then drain them, then put them in an aluminum foil pouch. The pouch gets place next to the burners of your grill (which is set to low.
  5. Baste the Fish. After an hour in the smoker, baste the fish with water (or honey, or maple syrup); do this every hour. This is a good way to brush away any albumin that might form. In most cases, you will get a little. You just don’t want a ton of it. Even if you can’t control your temperature this precisely, you get the general idea. You goal should be an internal temperature of about 130°F to 140°F.
  6. You must be careful about your heat. Other than failing to dry your salmon long enough, the single biggest problem in smoking salmon is too high heat. If you’ve ever seen salmon “bleed” a white, creamy substance, that’s a protein called albumin, a little is normal.
  7. Cool and Store the Fish. Once your fish is smoked, let it rest on the cooling rack for an hour before you put it in the fridge. Once refrigerated and wrapped in plastic, smoked fish will keep for 10 days. If you vacuum-seal it, the fish will keep for up to 3 weeks. Or freeze your fish for up to a year. But, come on, stuff this good never lasts more than a week.

[/et_pb_accordion_item][et_pb_accordion_item title=”No-Knead Sourdough Bread Variations by jesse.in.mb” _builder_version=”4.0.5″ open=”off”]

No-Knead Sourdough Bread Variations by jesse.in.mb

I’ve done a few variations of this with the addition of quarter cup of potato starch and doing it in the processor instead of no-knead. I did it half whole wheat and it still came out really well.

  • 1 cup 227g ripe (fed) sourdough starter
  • 1 3/4 cups 397g lukewarm water
  • 5 cups 602g King Arthur Unbleached Bread Flour
  • 1 tablespoon 18g salt
  • 2 teaspoons diastatic malt powder (optional for a more golden color and stronger rise)
  1. Weigh your flour; or measure it by gently spooning it into a cup, then sweeping off any excess.
  2. Combine all the ingredients in a large mixing bowl, or a large (6-quart) food-safe plastic bucket.
  3. Mix and stir everything together to make a sticky, rough dough. If you have a stand mixer, beat at medium speed with the paddle attachment for 30 to 60 seconds. If you don’t have a mixer, just stir with a big spoon or dough whisk until everything is combined.
  4. Leave the dough in the bucket or 6-quart bowl, cover it with the bucket’s lid or a piece of plastic wrap, and let it rise for 1 hour.
  5. Gently pick up the dough and fold it over on itself several times, cover it again, and let it rise for another hour.
  6. Repeat the rising-folding process one more time (for a total of 3 hours), folding it again after the last hour. Then, place the bucket or bowl in the refrigerator, and let the dough rest for at least 8 hours (or up to 48 hours).
  7. When you’re ready to make bread, turn the dough out onto a well-floured work surface, and shape it into a rough ball. Leave the dough seam-side up, cover it, and let it rest on a floured surface for 15 minutes.
  8. Next, shape the dough to fit the vessel in which you’ll bake it: a 13” log for a long covered baker; or a large boule (round) for a round baker or Dutch oven. Place the shaped dough into the lightly-greased or semolina-dusted base of the baker and cover it with the lid.
  9. Let the loaf warm to room temperature and rise; this should take about 2 1/2 to 3 hours. It won’t appear to rise upwards that much, but will relax and expand.
  10. With a rack positioned in the middle, start preheating the oven to 500°F one hour before you’re ready to bake.
  11. Just before baking, dust the loaf with a fine coat of flour and use a lame or a sharp knife to make one or several 1/2” deep slashes through its top surface. If you’re baking a long loaf, one arched slash down the loaf lengthwise is nice, or if baking a round, a crosshatch or crisscross pattern works well.
  12. Cover the baker with its lid and place it in the oven. Reduce the oven temperature to 450°F and bake the bread for 45 minutes.
  13. Remove the cover of the baker and bake the bread for 10 to 15 minutes longer, until the bread is deep golden brown and crusty, and a digital thermometer inserted into the center of the loaf reads at least 210°F.
  14. Remove the bread from the oven and transfer it to a rack to cool completely.
  15. Store leftover bread in a plastic bag at room temperature for several days; freeze for longer storage.

[/et_pb_accordion_item][et_pb_accordion_item title=”Pan Cornbread by Hayeksplosives” _builder_version=”4.0.5″ open=”off”]

Pan Cornbread by Hayeksplosives

Good for making stuffing crumbs if you live in a horrid place where cornbread is not sold in stores.

  • 2 ½ cups all purpose flour
  • ½ cup coarse ground corn meal
  • ½ cup sugar
  • 4 tsp baking powder
  • 1 tsp salt
  • 2 cups skim milk
  • ¼ cup vegetable oil
  • 2 eggs beaten
  1. Heat oven to 400°. Grease 9×12 inch pan. Combine dry ingredients. Stir in milk, oil, and egg, mixing just until dry ingredients are moistened. Pour batter into prepared pan. Bake 20-25 minutes or until light golden brown and wooden pick inserted in center comes out clean.

[/et_pb_accordion_item][/et_pb_accordion][et_pb_text admin_label=”CRANBERRIES & SALADS” _builder_version=”4.0.5″ text_orientation=”center”]

CRANBERRIES & SALADS

[/et_pb_text][et_pb_accordion admin_label=”CRANBERRIES AND SALADS accordion” module_class=”my_accordian” _builder_version=”4.0.5″][et_pb_accordion_item open=”on” _builder_version=”4.0.5″ custom_css_open_toggle=”display: none” custom_css_toggle_title=”display: none” custom_css_toggle_icon=”display: none” custom_css_toggle_content=”display: none” custom_css_toggle=”display: none”][/et_pb_accordion_item][et_pb_accordion_item title=”Semi-Spartan Dad’s Cranberry Compote” _builder_version=”3.17.6″ open=”off”]

Semi-Spartan Dad's Cranberry Compote

These are simple recipes that are easy for anyone to reproduce. I don’t use measurements when cooking so these are just estimates. The recipes have been cobbled together from various sources over the years, including online sites, but I can’t remember where to give credit or where I modified. I set up a buffet of warming trays and my recipes are all portioned for the half-size trays (gravy excluded).

  1. Put (3) 1-pound bags of whole cranberries into large saucepot.
  2. Add 1.5 cup of orange juice, 2-1/4 cup sugar, nutmeg, pinch of cinnamon and salt.
  3. Start on high heat, once boiling- cover and turn down to simmer.
  4. Cook 30-35min and stir every 10 minutes. Turn heat off and let sit with cover for 20-25 min.
  5. Pour into tray and place in the fridge.


[/et_pb_accordion_item][et_pb_accordion_item title=”Spudalicious’s Cranberry Sauce” _builder_version=”3.17.6″ open=”off”]

Spudalicious's Cranberry Sauce

  1. One bag cranberries, one cup sugar, one cup orange juice and some orange zest.
  2. Bring to a simmer and cook until the berries pop.


[/et_pb_accordion_item][et_pb_accordion_item title=”24 Hour Salad by Hayeksplosives” _builder_version=”3.17.6″ open=”off”]

24 Hour Salad by Hayeksplosives

Stays good for days, even after tossing. Great with Thanksgiving leftovers.

  • 6 cups chopped lettuce 2-3 Romaine or one large iceberg (divided in half)
  • 1 teaspoon sugar
  • 1 teaspoon salt and pepper
  • 6 hard-boiled eggs sliced
  • 1 10- oz pkg frozen green peas thawed
  • 2 stalks celery chopped
  • 1 small can sliced black olives drained
  • 1 lb bacon cooked (drained and crumbled)
  • 16 ounces swiss or cheddar cheese (shredded. I usually chop pre-sliced swiss.)
  • 3/4 cup mayonnaise
  • 1/2 cup sour cream
  • 1/4 cup green onion chopped
  1. Place 3 cups lettuce in bottom of large glass bowl. (Doesn’t need to be glass, but it makes for a nice layered presentation before tossing.)
  2. Sprinkle with sugar, salt, and pepper.
  3. Layer eggs over lettuce, lining up a few around the edge of the bowl for looks.
  4. Layer peas, celery, olives, remaining lettuce, bacon, and cheese.
  5. Whisk together mayo and sour cream. Spread over top, sealing to edge of bowl.
  6. Sprinkle green onions over the top.
  7. Chill for 24 to 48 hours.
  8. Toss. Add a little cream or water if needed to thin dressing.
  9. Make additions/substitutions as desired.


[/et_pb_accordion_item][et_pb_accordion_item title=”KibbledKristen’s Ma’s Grape Juice Mold” _builder_version=”3.17.6″ open=”off”]

KibbledKristen's Ma’s Grape Juice Mold

  • One box lemon gelatin
  • One box raspberry gelatin
  • 16 oz. one bag frozen unsweetened raspberries
  • 1 brick of cream cheese
  • 1 1/2 cups grape juice
  • 1/2 cup boiling water
  • ~2 tbsp sugar
  1. Coat a standard loaf pan with cooking spray.
  2. Place raspberries in a wire strainer over a large bowl and sprinkle sugar on top. Allow to thaw completely, tossing occasionally. Reserve juices.
  3. Bloom/dissolve lemon jello in boiling water (approx. 5 minutes). Add cream cheese and grape juice to blender. After jello is bloomed, crank blender to high and slowly pour in lemon jello while blender is running. Pour into loaf pan. Cover and refrigerate until jello is firm set.
  4. Add water to reserved raspberry juice to equal 1 3/4 cups (sometimes I go to 1 1/2 cups if the raspberries are particularly juicy). Nuke juice/water to just shy of boiling. Add raspberry jello and stir until dissolved. Gently stir in thawed raspberries.
  5. Cover and refrigerate raspberry jello until is it cool and egg white consistency. Pour/spoon raspberry jello over lemon jello/cream cheese in loaf pan. Cover and refrigerate at least 2 hours.
  6. Slice with a spatula and serve over a leaf of Bibb lettuce.


[/et_pb_accordion_item][et_pb_accordion_item title=”Web Dom’s Bean Salad” _builder_version=”3.17.6″ open=”off”]

Web Dom's Bean Salad

  • 1 15 oz can black beans
  • 1 15 oz can garbanzo beans
  • 2 15 oz cans dark red kidney beans
  • 1 15 oz can great northern beans
  • 1 pkg frozen corn
  • 1 pkg frozen peas
  • 1 large white onion chopped

Dressing

  • 3/4 c olive oil
  • 2-1/2 tbsp apple cider vinegar
  • 2-1/2 tbsp white wine vinegar
  • 1 tsp balsamic vinegar
  • 1-1/2 tbsp maple syrup can be omitted
  • 1/2 tsp celery salt
  • 5 cloves garlic grated on a Microplane
  • 1/2 tsp black pepper freshly ground
  • salt (to taste)
  1. Drain and rinse beans.
  2. Combine with onion, peas, and corn in a large glass bowl.
  3. Make the dressing to taste, adjusting the vinegars, etc., as needed.
  4. Pour dressing over the veg.
  5. Mix well and chill before serving.


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Aunt Dude’s Cranberry Salad / Garnish by Hayeksplosives

  • 1 lb ground cranberries
  • 2 ½ cups sugar
  • 1 lb. Red seedless grapes
  • 2-3 bananas
  • ½ cup pecans or walnuts (broken or coarsely chopped)
  • ½ pint sour cream
  1. Grind cranberries in blender, using water to cover while grinding and then straining the water out. Mix cranberries and sugar and let stand overnight for the sugar to dissolve and sweeten, then refrigerate until ready to mix. Chill grapes, bananas, and nuts several hours before mixing. Shortly before serving, add the grapes, bananas, nuts, and sour cream to the cranberry-sugar mixture and keep in the refrigerator until serving.

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SOUPS & SIDES

[/et_pb_text][et_pb_accordion admin_label=”Soups & Sides ACCORDION” module_class=”my_accordian” _builder_version=”4.0.5″][et_pb_accordion_item open=”on” _builder_version=”4.0.5″ custom_css_open_toggle=”display: none” custom_css_toggle_title=”display: none” custom_css_toggle_icon=”display: none” custom_css_toggle_content=”display: none” custom_css_toggle=”display: none”][/et_pb_accordion_item][et_pb_accordion_item title=”Celeriac Gratin by OMWC” _builder_version=”3.17.6″ open=”off”]

Celeriac Gratin by OMWC

Celeriac (celery root) is the red-headed stepchild of winter root vegetables. Yet this is a dish that Spudalicious and I used to make on the regular, and our non-vegetarian friends would start demanding it in advance. I can’t ever recall having leftovers. It features Raclette cheese, the pride of Switzerland. Gruyère will work but not be nearly as fun-funky. Take the trouble to find Raclette, and the Swiss kind is slightly better than French for this. Yes, this recipe makes a lot of pots to clean up, but that’s why God invented dishwashers and orphans. It’s worth it, trust me.

  • 2 lbs celeriac peeled and cubed (peeling is a pain in the ass, but necessary)
  • 2 lbs Yukon Gold potatoes ( peeled and cubed)
  • 1 c heavy cream
  • 1/2 c butter
  • 1/2 – 1 tsp saffron depending on your bank balance (it's definitely cheaper in Indian groceries than at Whole Foods)
  • 2 cloves garlic finely minced
  • 1-1/2 c Gruyère grated
  • 1 c Raclette grated
  • Salt and pepper
  • 1/2 c Italian flat-leaf parsley (chopped)
  1. Boil the celeriac in salted water until it’s soft (check by piercing with a skewer or paring knife). Scoop out and drain. Return the water to a boil and add the potatoes, cooking until they’re soft. Drain.
  2. While the potatoes cook, heat the cream until it boils, then stir in the butter, saffron, and garlic. Reduce the heat, then simmer for 5 minutes until the saffron is extracted and the mixture slightly thickened. Set aside.
  3. In a large bowl, puree the celeriac (you could use a food processor; I prefer a hand-held Braun immersion blender), while gradually adding the cream sauce. Mash the potatoes coarsely, or use a ricer if you want a smoother texture. Combine the potato, celery root, and one cup of the Gruyère; season to taste with salt and pepper.
  4. Spread the mixture in a greased oven-proof dish, top with the remaining cheese and the parsley, then bake in a preheated 400F degree oven until the top is browned, about 20-30 minutes.

Wine pairing would include crisp whites like Seyval (Bully Hill makes an excellent and inexpensive one). Chardonnay from Macon or (if you’re lucky) Beaujolais is a superb match as well. I would not fart in your general direction if you defaulted to a dry Vouvray, which might be easier to find.


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Mom Lachowsky's Chile Cheese Grits

  • 3 cups water
  • salt
  • 1 garlic clove minced
  • 1 cup quick-cooking grits
  • 1/2 cup butter cubed
  • 1-1/2 cups shredded cheddar cheese
  • 3 tablespoons chopped green chilies
  • 2 eggs
  • 1/2 cup milk
  1. Bring water, salt and garlic to a boil in a pan, then stir in grits.
  2. Reduce heat; cook and stir for 3-5 minutes or until thickened. Remove from the heat.
  3. Add butter, 1 cup cheese and chilies; stir until butter melts.
  4. Beat eggs and milk; add to the grits and mix well.
  5. Pour into a greased baking dish and then bake, uncovered, at 350° for 45 minutes.
  6. Sprinkle with remaining cheese and serve.


[/et_pb_accordion_item][et_pb_accordion_item title=”Semi-Spartan Dad’s Pecan Glazed Sweet Potato Casserole” _builder_version=”3.17.6″ open=”off”]

Semi-Spartan Dad's Pecan Glazed Sweet Potato Casserole

These are simple recipes that are easy for anyone to reproduce. I don’t use measurements when cooking so these are just estimates. The recipes have been cobbled together from various sources over the years, including online sites, but I can’t remember where to give credit or where I modified. I set up a buffet of warming trays and my recipes are all portioned for the half-size trays (gravy excluded).

  1. Roast 5 large sweet potatoes in oven for 1.25 hours @ 375F

  2. Mix sweet potato, 1/2 cup brown sugar, 2 beaten eggs, 1/2 teaspoon salt, 4 tbsp butter, 1/2 cup milk (cut with cream), 1/2 tsp vanilla extract, cinnamon. Place in baking dish.
  3. For topping: Mix 1/2 cup brown sugar and 1/3 cup flour. Cut 4 softened tbsp butter in until mixture is course. Stir in 1/2 cup chopped pecans.
  4. Layer topping over sweet potatoes. Bake 30 min @325F.


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Chipping Pioneer's Party Potatoes

  • 1 bag frozen hash brown potatoes little cube form (thawed)
  • 1/2 c butter (melted)
  • 2 c cheddar cheese (grated or your choice – – something smoked is good)
  • 1/2 c chopped onion
  • 2 c full fat sour cream (I cannot stress to the wife enough how low fat sour cream is inadequate yet there it is in the refrigerator)
  • 1 tsp salt
  • 1 tin cream of chicken soup
  1. Preheat oven to 350F.
  2. Mixed thawed potatoes with melted butter.
  3. Add remaining ingredients and mix well.
  4. Spread in a greased 9×9 casserole dish.
  5. Bake 1 hour at 350.


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DblEagle's Zucchini Strudel

  • 6-8 decent sized squash all zucchini or mix with yellow squash depending on your garden and taste
  • 8 eggs
  • dill
  • black pepper
  • 3-6 cloves garlic (minced)
  • 8 oz feta cheese
  • phyllo dough
  • melted butter
  1. Preheat oven to 350F.
  2. Grate squash.
  3. Layer into a strainer with salt between layers.
  4. Let drain 3 hours.
  5. In a bowl mix: Eggs, dill, black pepper and garlic. (Don’t be shy with the dill or garlic).
  6. Crumple feta cheese into the egg mixture.
  7. Mix the ingredients.
  8. Return to the squash. Squeeze the fluid out handful by handful (generally 2X per handful since drier the better).
  9. Add squash to egg mixture and mix well.
  10. Pour into baking pan/casserole pan.
  11. Cover the mix with 5-8 pieces of phyllo dough, covering dough with melted butter between layers.
  12. Bake at 350 for one hour.
  13. Serve hot or cold.


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Mashed Potato Croquettes by Nephilium

  • 3-4 lb. potatoes
  • 8 oz. butter
  • Salt and pepper to taste
  • Panko

Optional:

  • 4-6 strips of bacon (cut into lardons [small pieces] and fried)
  • 2-4 oz. shredded Cheddar cheese
  • 1/4-1/2 tsp. Roasted Garlic powder or crushed rosemary
  1. Cut the potatoes into equal sized pieces, and boil in salted water until fork tender (approximately 20 minutes). Mash the potatoes with the butter, salt, pepper, and any other optional ingredients. Let the mashed potatoes cool to the touch. Then roll them into approximately 1-2″ balls (or cylinders), and coat in panko.
  2. You have several options to finish them, you can either freeze them and then deep fry them (if you’re already deep frying your turkey), or you can oven roast them at ~350 F for 30-45 minutes (or until golden brown). If you’re baking them, and want them to get more golden, you can mix in a couple of drops of oil into the panko (you want it barely damp, not wet).

For the optional ingredients, do what ever flavors you want. Chorizo, Garlic, Cheddar, Bacon, Pancetta, Rosemary, Pepper jack, Sour Cream, Chives, Chipotle pepper are all valid options. Just remember you don’t want the potatoes too loose, and if you’re deep frying them, you may want to wrap the potatoes around any cheese to seal it in.

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Leap's Cheesy Broccoli and Rice

Its exactly what the name suggests.  No picture, use your fucking imagination.  The trick is the use of sodium citrate ( https://www.cooksillustrated.com/science/830-articles/story/cooks-science-explains-sodium-citrate).  You can go order it now on the Internet and it will be here in real life in time.

  • Rice
  • Butter
  • Salt
  • Broccoli (fresh or thawed, but not cooked)
  • Chicken Stock
  • Sodium Citrate
  • Corn Starch
  • Cheese (get 2 or 3 kinds that don't suck, and shred them)
  • Black Pepper Grinder
  • Hot Sauce (Minnesoda glibs can replace it with lemon juice, but you need the acid to prevent long strands of cheese)
  • No amounts listed because I hate you

Directions:

  1. A day before, make some rice and stash it in the fridge in a plastic bag. Once its cold, break up all the clumps. That’s why you used a bag.
  2. Start drinking. Once the cheese is shredded, there are no sharp tools involved.

  3. Heat a pot to medium heat. Melt the butter. Add broccoli and rice. Stir to combine.

  4. Add to pot just enough chicken stock to get everything a little wet. Add a few splashes of hot sauce and a few grinds of black pepper. Add salt.

  5. In a drinking glass, mix chicken stock and corn starch. Once mixed, add like 1/8 tablespoon of sodium citrate and mix again. Seriously my dude it doesn’t take much. Add to pot.
  6. Let sauce bubble a little and thicken. Once thickened, remove from heat.

  7. Immediately begin adding cheese one slow handful at a time and stir while adding. The cheese will melt into the protosauce. You should have pounded like two martinis on an empty stomach by this point, so yell out Chicken Gravy… Digivolve to Cheese Sauce!

  8. It is ready to serve once the cheese is melted and you’ve yelled loud enough to secure your position as “drunk Uncle at Thanksgiving”.

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SP’s Autumn Sweet Potato Soup

I was looking for a way to make dinner just using ingredients on hand. This recipe was the result. It’s even vegan!

  • 2 large sweet potatoes
  • 2 tablespoons olive oil
  • 1 medium onion (chopped)
  • 1 large clove garlic (minced)
  • 1 teaspoon ground allspice
  • 1/2 teaspoon ground dry ginger
  • 1 cup dry white wine
  • 4 cups tomato puree
  • 1 cup vegetable broth
  • 1/4 cup peanut butter
  • Freshly ground black pepper and salt to taste
  1. After pricking sweet potatoes all over with a fork or knife, microwave until soft, about 10 minutes. Set aside to cool.
  2. Heat oil in a Dutch oven over medium heat. Add onion and sauté until the onion begins to brown. Add the garlic and cook, stirring, for another couple minutes.
  3. Add the ginger and allspice; cook, stirring, until fragrant.
  4. Deglaze the pan with the white wine.
  5. Add the tomato puree and vegetable broth to the pan. Simmer on medium high for 8-12 minutes.
  6. Scoop the soft pulp out of the cooked sweet potatoes and put into a food processor bowl. Add the peanut butter. Ladle in a couple cups of the cooking soup liquid. Process until smooth.
  7. Add the puréed sweet potato mixture to the Dutch oven, stirring well to incorporate.
  8. Thin the soup with more broth or wine, as desired.
  9. Heat again until hot. Taste and adjust seasoning.

Variation: You can add hot New Mexican green chile to individual bowls, if your diners are not wimps.

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Cannoli's Carrot "Candy"

When I was little, my parents rebranded this recipe from souffle to carrot candy in a successful attempt to get my sisters and me to try it (we were very picky eaters). The name was apt, and it became an instant holiday staple. It’s a little bit like mashed sweet potatoes, but better.

  • 2 lbs carrots
  • 1 cup butter or margarine
  • 4 large eggs
  • 1/3 cup all-purpose flour
  • 2 teaspoons baking powder
  • 2 cups sugar
  • 1/4 teaspoon ground cinnamon
  1. Peel the carrots and slice thin (I slice them in the food processor to speed things up).
  2. Cook carrots in boiling water to cover, 15 minutes or until tender, drain well.
  3. Process carrot and remaining ingredients in a food processor until smooth, stopping once to scrape down sides.
  4. Spoon into 2 lightly greased 1 ½-quart souffle or baking dishes.
  5. Bake at 350 for 1 hour or until set and lightly browned.
  6. Serve immediately.

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Holiday Brussels Sprouts by OMWC

Spud and OMWC served this to many a Brussels sprouts skeptic, and no-one actually threw up. It’s excellent and became a holiday staple for us. Wine match: Gruener Veltliner

  • 1 – 1 ½ lbs – Brussels sprouts (you want the small, firm ones, IYKWIMAITYD)
  • 2-3 tbsp Olive oil
  • 2 tbsp Balsamic vinegar
  • 1/4 cup water or light vegetable broth
  • ¼ cup butter
  • ½ cup chopped pecans
  1. Trim off the outer leaves and the very bottom of the Brussels sprouts. Cut them in half lengthwise.
  2. In a heavy pan (cast iron works very well), add olive oil, then sauté the sprouts on their flat side over medium-high heat until they start to brown. Add the balsamic vinegar, turn the heat to low and cover.
  3. After a couple of minutes, add ¼ cup of water. Cook until the sprouts start to soften, ~ 8-10 minutes. They should brown but not burn.
  4. Turn the heat back up to high, add the butter and the pecans. Saute for a minute or so, until the pecans are lightly toasted.
  5. Add salt and pepper to taste, then introduce your new little friends to whomever is having dinner with you.

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Gender Traitor's Tortellini Soup

The following is a recipe I got from my MIL. We usually serve it when we host my two sisters and BIL for Christmas.

  • 1 lb. bulk Italian sausage
  • 9 oz. pkg. cheese tortellini
  • 9 oz. pkg. spinach tortellini (I usually get one 20 oz. pkg of mixed tortellini instead of the two 9 oz. pkgs.)
  • 1/2 lb. shredded cabbage
  • 2 med. zucchini (sliced)
  • 1 med. green pepper (diced)
  • 4 green onions (sliced)
  • 3 med. tomatoes (diced)
  • 3 tbsp. basil
  • 5 10-1/2 oz. cans beef broth (or 6 1/4 cups from boxed broth)
  • 6 cups water
  • Parmesan cheese
  1. Make Italian sausage into small balls. Add all ingredients except cheese. Cook until sausage is done and veggies are tender. (I like to cook it long enough for the cheese from the tortellini to thicken the broth nicely.) Top with cheese.

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Tortellini Bowling Soup by Spudalicious

  • 1 lb Italian sausage (hot, mild, or a combination)
  • 1 cup coarsely chopped onions
  • 2 cloves garlic (minced)
  • 46 oz beef stock
  • 1/2 cup water
  • 1/2 cup red wine
  • 14 oz can diced tomatoes
  • 1 cup tomato sauce
  • 1 cup thinly sliced carrots
  • 1/2 tsp dried basil
  • 1/2 tsp dried oregano
  • 6 oz fresh spinach (coarsely chopped)
  • 1 red (or yellow bell pepper, chopped)
  • 8 oz package of fresh cheese tortellini
  1. Brown sausage in a dutch oven(remove casings first if they are links. Remove to a bowl.
  2. Saute onions and garlic in sausage drippings.
  3. Add next eight ingredients and the sausage, bring to a boil, then reduce to a simmer. Simmer for 30 minutes.
  4. Add spinach, tortellini and bell pepper. Simmer for another 30 minutes.
  5. Ladle into a bowl, sprinkle with Parmesan.

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Molasses Glazed Carrots by Chipwooder

Here’s one of my favorite Tgiving sides. It’s unhealthy as all hell but hey, it’s Thanksgiving!

  • 1 lbs baby carrots
  • half a stick of butter
  • 1 tbsp sugar
  • 1/4 cup dark molasses
  • 1/2 tsp freshly grated ginger
  • 1/4 tsp allspice
  • pinch of salt
  1. Parboil the carrots for until they start to soften, usually 10-15 minutes. Drain them.
  2. Melt the butter in a skillet, stir in the rest of the ingredients.
  3. Turn the heat up to medium-high, let the mixture start boiling a bit, nice and thick and syrupy.
  4. Add the carrots, reduce the heat to low, simmer for about 10 minutes, stirring frequently to coat.

[/et_pb_accordion_item][/et_pb_accordion][et_pb_text admin_label=”TURKEY DRESSING GRAVY” _builder_version=”4.0.5″ text_orientation=”center”]

TURKEY & DRESSING & GRAVY

[/et_pb_text][et_pb_accordion admin_label=”TURKEY STUFFING GRAVY accordion” module_class=”my_accordian” _builder_version=”4.0.5″ hover_enabled=”0″][et_pb_accordion_item open=”on” _builder_version=”4.0.5″ custom_css_open_toggle=”display: none” custom_css_toggle_title=”display: none” custom_css_toggle_icon=”display: none” custom_css_toggle_content=”display: none” custom_css_toggle=”display: none”][/et_pb_accordion_item][et_pb_accordion_item title=”Semi-Spartan Dad’s Stuffing/Dressing” _builder_version=”3.17.6″ open=”off”]

Semi-Spartan Dad's Stuffing/Dressing

These are simple recipes that are easy for anyone to reproduce. I don’t use measurements when cooking so these are just estimates. The recipes have been cobbled together from various sources over the years, including online sites, but I can’t remember where to give credit or where I modified. I set up a buffet of warming trays and my recipes are all portioned for the half-size trays (gravy excluded).

  1. Get 1.5 loaves of French or Italian bread, cut in half, dice into cubes
  2. Toss cubes in bowl with melted butter, olive oil, and seasoning (pepper, salt, sage)
  3. Put in oven on sheet tray for about 15 minutes
  4. Toss cubes in large bowl with salt, pepper
  5. Add sautéed green onions and mushrooms
  6. Add chicken broth to moisten bread (maybe cup and half)
  7. Place in casserole dish and bake in oven for 35-40 minutes @ 350F


[/et_pb_accordion_item][et_pb_accordion_item title=”Semi-Spartan Dad’s Gravy” _builder_version=”3.17.6″ open=”off”]

Semi-Spartan Dad's Gravy

I don’t use measurements when cooking so these are just estimates. The recipes have been cobbled together from various sources over the years, including online sites, but I can’t remember where to give credit or where I modified.

  1. Add giblets to sauce pot with a couple celery stalks, few carrots, half an onion, bay leaves, and parsley.
  2. Fill to top with cold water and simmer while the turkey cooks. Replenish as the liquid cooks down but not close to the end as doing so dilutes the flavor
  3. If roasting a turkey, pour everything in turkey roasting dish through a strainer into new, clean stockpot. If not roasting, there should still be plenty in the giblet stockpot.
  4. Pour the giblet stockpot through strainer into said stockpot (use back of spoon to work through strainer)
  5. Taste, now is the time to add salt and pepper, if needed, and a heavy dose of sage
  6. Use beurre manié or corn starch slurry (1:1) to thicken
  7. Thicken with whisk at slightly below boiling
  8. Place gravy pot in cast iron pan to keep warm


[/et_pb_accordion_item][et_pb_accordion_item title=”Playa Manhattan’s Superior Turkey & Gravy” _builder_version=”3.17.6″ open=”off”]

Playa Manhattan's Superior Turkey & Gravy

If you’re roasting your turkey whole, you’re doing it wrong.

  1. Dark meat: Dry rub and rest for 6 hours. Tightly wrapped in foil, 300F for 6 hours.
  2. White meat: 2 day brine in pineapple juice, MSG and friends, citrus peel, sodium phosphate 10%, smoked salt, peppercorns, and powdered bay leaf. Sous Vide at 145F for 3 hours, 5 minute sear at the end.
  3. Gravy: 1 container Empire Kosher Chicken fat, 2/3rds cup flour. Cook to blonde roux. Add 3 cups rich unseasoned veal stock, whisk in. Seasoned with onion salt, yeast extract, MSG and helpers, and a touch of garlic powder. Skim unincorporated fat from the top.

I’m pretty comfortable serving this to 30 people next week.


[/et_pb_accordion_item][et_pb_accordion_item title=”How To Roast a Stuffed Turkey by Count Potato” _builder_version=”3.17.6″ open=”off”]

How To Roast a Stuffed Turkey by Count Potato

Based on casual observation most people do it wrong. They try using bacon, aluminum foil, etc. to keep the bird from drying out. Or they soak it in brine which alters the taste and consistency of the meat. Whereas the best way is to keep the natural juices inside the turkey from the beginning.

  1. Get a covered roasting pan with a rack. Mine has a tight-fitting lid with an adjustable vent.
  2. Preheat the oven to 325°F.
  3. Find out how much the turkey weighs. If you bought from a store, it will be written on a label on the package. Otherwise, weigh it on a scale.

  4. Wash, dry, and stuff the turkey. Make sure to sew the neck and tail openings shut. Season it with salt and pepper. I also rub the outside with a mixture of dried herbs. The important thing is that the skin is well-salted.

  5. Place the bird on the rack in the pan. Then pour in a quart of low-salt stock or broth. I used to use chicken stock before turkey broth became widely available.
  6. Cover it with the lid. Put it in the oven.
  7. Estimate the total cooking time by multiplying the weight in pounds by 20 minutes. Leave it in the oven for half that time without opening the lid. No peeking.
  8. After half the total estimated cooking time has passed, remove the lid. Don’t be dismayed if the turkey “looks boiled”. It’s because it will be covered in a whitish pellicle. This is a coating of fat and proteins that will waterproof the bird like Flex Seal. This was demonstrated by the Indians at the first Thanksgiving by sawing a canoe in half.
  9. If you use a thermometer, stick through the center of one of the breasts while being careful not to touch any bone. Put it back in the oven uncovered. Do not baste it until the skin begins to turn golden brown. When it’s done, the legs should move freely, and there shouldn’t be a large amount of liquid pooled around the thighs. You can check by taking a thin knife and cut above where the thigh attaches to the back — there shouldn’t be any pink flesh or red blood around the joint.
  10. After you remove it from the oven. Let it sit for 15 – 20 minutes before carving. I move it to a dish, so I can make gravy from the roasting pan during this time.
  11. Osteoporosis!


[/et_pb_accordion_item][et_pb_accordion_item title=”Deep Fried Turkey by mexicansharpshooter” _builder_version=”4.0.5″ open=”off”]

Deep Fried Turkey by mexicansharpshooter

This is a dangerous but delicious dish to make.

  • 20 lbs Turkey

For the brine

  • 1 gallon water
  • 1 gallon broth doesn't matter what kind chicken broth is plentiful and cheap
  • 2 cups kosher salt
  • 1 jar whole cloves
  • 2 lemons
  • 2 pkgs fresh rosemary (You can substitute dried but why cheap out?)
  • ginger root ( You can use candied ginger, but I like to shred it and throw it in the brine. Get as much as you dare.)

For frying

  • 2 gallons peanut oil minimum – see instructions

The brine

  1. Mix the brine and let the thawed turkey soak in it at least overnight, the longer the better. I normally go 2 nights.

The fryer

  1. Incidentally, Underwriters Laboratory does not place their coveted seal on any gas fired turkey fryer. This is a dangerous item to have, and can result in serious injury if you are not careful. Especially if you are like me and know how to bypass the thermocouple that acts as a safety device but prevents the oil from getting hot enough. If you are faint of heart—just roast it like the Nancy Boy you are and take up valuable oven space.

The process

  1. Now that we got that out of the way. You will need a minimum of 2 gallons of peanut oil. Prior to brining, you will need to establish the turkey’s overall displacement by filling the pot with water and marking where the turkey rests in the pot completely submerged. This may exceed the “Do not fill above this line” written inside the pot, but if you made it this far, you probably are ignoring the safety people anyway.
  2. Remove the bird from the brine, and let it dry. A wet turkey will cause you to have a very bad day, and will prove the Nancy Boys at UL right. Don’t do that.
  3. Set the bird in the stand butt down, wings tucked back. Put it in the pot of hot oil SLOWLY.
  4. Ideally, the oil should average around 350F (I can’t help you if you are in Canada), but remember the turkey is cold and will drop the temperature of the oil once you set it in there. I’m usually able to keep it between 325-350F without setting my yard on fire. 3 1/2 minutes per pound should net a result that is moist on the inside, and delightfully crisp skin in the outside. This needs to sit at least 30 mins before carving.

[/et_pb_accordion_item][et_pb_accordion_item title=”Tundra’s Go-To Turkey Recipe For Those with Rotisserie Grills” _builder_version=”4.0.5″ open=”off”]

Tundra's Go-To Turkey Recipe For Those with Rotisserie Grills

Rotisserie Turkey, Dry Brined with Orange and Spices by Mike Vrobel

Inspired by: Lots of different sources.

  • 12 to 14 lb Turkey
  • fist sized chunk of smoking wood (hickory, oak, pecan or a fruit wood; I love oak wine barrel staves)

Dry Brine

  • 1/4 cup kosher salt (I used Diamond Crystal; reduce to 3 tbsp if using Mortons, because it is denser.)
  • Zest of 1 orange (save the orange, cut in half and wrapped in plastic wrap to stuff the turkey)
  • 1 teaspoon brown sugar
  • 1 teaspoon grated fresh ginger (about a 1/2 inch piece)
  • 1 teaspoon grated fresh garlic (2 cloves)
  • 1/2 teaspoon fresh ground black pepper
  • 1/4 teaspoon ground cloves
  1. Dry brine the turkey: 1 to 3 days before it is time to cook, dry brine the turkey. Mix the dry brine ingredients in a small bowl, then sprinkle and rub evenly over the turkey. Make sure to rub some inside the cavity of the turkey as well. Put the turkey on a rack over a roasting pan or baking sheet, and cover with plastic wrap. Refrigerate, removing the plastic wrap the night before cooking to allow the skin to dry. (If you are only dry brining for 24 hours, skip the plastic wrap.)
  2. Prep the Turkey: One hour before cooking, remove the turkey from the refrigerator. Stuff the turkey with the halves of the orange, then truss and skewer with the rotisserie spit. Put the zip lock bag full of ice on the breast, not touching the legs or drumsticks, to chill the breast meat until cooking. Put the wood chunk in a bowl of water to soak.
  3. Prep the rotisserie: Prepare the rotisserie for cooking on indirect medium heat (see details here). For my Weber kettle, I light a chimney 3/4 full of charcoal and wait for it to be covered with ash. Then, instead of pouring it in my usual two piles on the side of the grill, I pour it in a U shape at one end of the grill (see picture below). I put the drip pan in the middle of the U of charcoal. Finally, put the wood chunk on top of the charcoal, and give it five minutes to start smoking.
  4. *If you are using a gas grill, check out my basic Rotisserie Turkey recipe for setup instructions. If you’re using a Weber Summit with a infrared rotisserie burner, set the grill up as shown in this recipe. If you don’t have a rotisserie, Weber Kettle instructions are in this recipe.
  5. Cook the turkey: Put the spit on the grill, with the leg side of the bird inside the “U” of coals. Cook the turkey with the lid closed; it will take 2 to 3 hours (usually about 2 1/2 hours for a 12 pound turkey). Every hour, add 24 fresh charcoal briquettes to the grill, nestling them into the burning charcoal. Start checking the temperature in the breast with an instant read thermometer at 2 hours. The turkey is done when the breast meat registers 155*F to 160*F in its thickest part. Remove the turkey from the grill, remove the spit from the turkey, and cut the trussing twine loose. Let the turkey rest for 15 to 30 minutes before carving.
  6. Carve the turkey: If you have a favorite way of carving a turkey, go ahead and use it. My preferred method: Cut the legs free from the body of the bird, and cut the drumsticks away from the thighs. I leave the drumsticks whole (my favorite part!) and slice the meat from the thighs in 1/2″ slices for dark meat lovers. Next, I cut the entire breast half from one side of the bird by working my knife down the keel bone from the top down to the wing, following the inside of the ribcage. Once the breast half is free of the bird, it is easy to slice into 1/2″ thick slices on my carving board. I repeat with the other breast half. Finally, I cut each wing away from the carcass, and separate the drumette from the wing, and the wing from the wingtip. I arrange all these pieces on a platter and serve.

*Fresh vs Frozen: There are two advantages to a fresh turkey. The first is they are rarely pre-brined, which is redundant because of the dry brine. (Watch out for the words “enhanced with a X% solution” or “pre-basted”) The second advantage to fresh turkey is no thawing is needed! If you have to get a frozen bird, make sure to leave an extra three days or so to thaw it in the refrigerator before staring the dry brine; start thawing it about a week before you’ll need it.

[/et_pb_accordion_item][et_pb_accordion_item title=”Tundra’s Go-To Turkey Recipe For Those with a Slow N’ Sear (or similar)” _builder_version=”4.0.5″ open=”off”]

Smoked Turkey Recipe – How to BBQ Turkey on the Grill with Slow ‘N Sear

 

 

[/et_pb_accordion_item][et_pb_accordion_item title=”Southern Cornbread Stuffing by Hayeksplosives” _builder_version=”4.0.5″ open=”off”]

Southern Cornbread Stuffing by Hayeksplosives

  • 6 cups crumbled cornbread
  • 3 cups soft bread crumbs
  • 4 ounces butter
  • 2 cups onion (chopped)
  • 2 cups finely chopped celery
  • 3 to 4 cups chicken broth
  • 2 cups chicken (diced (optional; I omit this for accompanying turkey))
  • 1 heaping teaspoon dried sage (crumbled)
  • 1 ½ teaspoons dried leaf thyme (crumbled)
  • 1 teaspoon dried marjoram (crumbled)
  • ½ teaspoon dried rosemary (chopped)
  • 1 teaspoon salt
  • ½ teaspoon freshly ground black pepper
  • 2 eggs (lightly beaten)
  1. Heat the oven to 400°F. In a large mixing bowl, combine the cornbread and white bread crumbs. In a saucepan over medium heat, sauté the onion and celery in butter until tender. Do not brown. Combine the sautéed vegetables with the bread mixture. Stir in chicken broth, using enough to moisten. Stir in the diced chicken, if using, and the seasonings and beaten eggs, blending well. Spread the mixture in a large shallow baking or roasting pan measuring about 10” x 15”.
  2. It is important to use a big shallow baking pan rather than a 9”x12” pan in order to get the stuffing well spread out to brown evenly and not be soggy in places.

[/et_pb_accordion_item][et_pb_accordion_item title=”Honey-Brined Turkey with Giblet Cream Gravy by Hayeksplosives” _builder_version=”4.0.5″ open=”off”]

Honey-Brined Turkey with Giblet Cream Gravy by Hayeksplosives

(This is the way Dad bakes turkey- extremely tender, moist, just easily the best turkey!)

About the accompanying gravy, Janet Fletcher, food writer, says, “My grandmother could never seem to make enough of her creamy giblet gravy; everyone always wanted more. We poured it over the mashed potatoes, dressing and turkey, then over open-face sandwiches the next day. Of course, it’s great with this turkey, too: The bird gets its incredible moistness from being soaked overnight in a brine enhanced by thyme, garlic cloves, and honey.” Because of the brining process, we don’t recommend stuffing this turkey.

Turkey

  • 1 19- to 20- pound turkey (neck, heart and gizzard reserved for gravy)
  • 8 quarts water
  • 2 cups coarse salt
  • 1 cup honey
  • 2 bunches fresh thyme
  • 8 large garlic cloves (peeled)
  • 2 tablespoons coarsely cracked black pepper
  • 2 lemons (halved)
  • 2 tablespoons olive oil
  • 5 cups canned low-salt chicken broth (approximately)

Gravy

  • Reserved turkey neck, heart and gizzard
  • 6 cups water
  • 3 1/2 cups canned low-salt chicken broth
  • 2 carrots (coarsely chopped)
  • 1 onion (halved)
  • 1 large celery stalk (chopped)
  • 1 small bay leaf
  • 5 tablespoons butter
  • 5 tablespoons all purpose flour
  • 1/4 cup whipping cream

For turkey:

  1. Line extra-large stockpot with heavy large plastic bag (about 30-gallon capacity). Rinse turkey; place in plastic bag. Stir 8 quarts water, 2 cups coarse salt and 1 cup honey in large pot until salt and honey dissolve. Add 1 bunch fresh thyme, peeled garlic cloves and black pepper. Pour brine over turkey. Gather plastic bag tightly around turkey so that bird is covered with brine; seal plastic bag. Refrigerate pot with turkey in brine at least 12 hours and up to 18 hours.
  2. Position rack in bottom third of oven and preheat to 350°F. Drain turkey well; discard brine. Pat turkey dry inside and out. Squeeze juice from lemon halves into main cavity. Add lemon rinds and remaining 1 bunch fresh thyme to main cavity. Tuck wings under turkey; tie legs together loosely to hold shape. Place turkey on rack set in large roasting pan BREAST SIDE DOWN. Rub turkey all over with 2 tablespoons olive oil.
  3. Roast turkey 1 hour. Remove from oven and turn BREAST SIDE UP. Baste turkey with 1 cup chicken broth. Continue to roast until turkey is deep brown and thermometer inserted into thickest part of thigh registers 180°F, basting with 1 cup chicken broth every 30 minutes and covering loosely with foil if turkey is browning too quickly, about 2 1/2 hours longer. Transfer turkey to platter. Tent turkey loosely with foil and let stand 30 minutes. Pour pan juices into large glass measuring cup. Spoon off fat; reserve juices.

For gravy:

  1. While turkey cooks, place reserved turkey neck, heart and gizzard into large saucepan. Add 6 cups water, 3 1/2 cups chicken broth, carrots, onion, celery and bay leaf. Simmer over medium heat until turkey stock is reduced to 3 cups, about 2 hours. Strain turkey stock into bowl; reserve turkey neck and giblets. Pull meat off neck. Chop neck meat and giblets.
  2. Melt 5 tablespoons butter in heavy large saucepan over medium heat. Add 5 tablespoons all purpose flour and whisk 2 minutes. Gradually whisk in turkey stock, cream and up to 1 cup reserved turkey pan juices (juices are salty, so add according to taste). Simmer gravy until thickened to desired consistency, whisking occasionally, about 5 minutes. Add chopped turkey neck meat and giblets; season to taste with pepper.

Serve turkey with gravy.

 

Turkey will look dark because of the honey brine baking, but it is ridiculously moist and tender, not at all burned.
[/et_pb_accordion_item][et_pb_accordion_item _builder_version=”4.0.5″ title=”Italian Sausage Dressing contributed by TARDIS” hover_enabled=”0″]

Italian Sausage Dressing contributed by TARDIS

I suppose you could use a different sausage and leave out the fennel if you you don’t like it. For vegetarians, a meat substitute and vegetable stock could work. (original recipe by Claire Saffitz)

  • ¾ cup 1½ sticks unsalted butter, cut into pieces, divided, plus more
  • 10 cups coarsely torn sourdough bread (dried out overnight)
  • ⅓ cup blanched hazelnuts
  • 3 tablespoons olive oil
  • 12 ounces hot or sweet Italian sausage (casings removed)
  • 2 onions (chopped)
  • 4 celery stalks (chopped)
  • 1 fennel bulb (chopped)
  • 2 tablespoons chopped sage
  • Kosher salt (freshly ground pepper)
  • ½ cup dry white wine
  • 2 large eggs (beaten to blend)
  • 2 cups turkey or chicken stock (preferably homemade, plus more)
  1. Preheat oven to 350°. Butter a shallow 3-qt. baking dish and a sheet of foil. Place bread in a very large bowl.
  2. Toast hazelnuts on a rimmed baking sheet, tossing once, until golden brown, 10–12 minutes. Let cool; coarsely chop, then add to bowl with bread.
  3. Heat oil in a large skillet over medium-high. Add sausage and cook, stirring occasionally and breaking into small pieces with a spoon, until browned and cooked through, 7–10 minutes. Transfer to bowl with bread with a slotted spoon.
  4. Add onions, celery, fennel, and sage to skillet, season with salt and pepper, and cook, stirring often, until onions are golden brown and soft, 10–12 minutes. Transfer to bowl with bread.
  5. Reduce heat to medium and cook wine in skillet, scraping up any browned bits, until almost all evaporated, about 1 minute. Add ½ cup butter; cook, stirring, until melted. Drizzle over bread mixture.
  6. Whisk eggs and 2 cups stock in a medium bowl; pour over bread mixture. Season with salt and pepper and toss, adding more stock ¼-cupful at a time as needed (you may not use it all), until combined and bread is hydrated. Transfer to prepared baking dish and dot with remaining ¼ cup butter.
  7. Cover with buttered foil; bake until a paring knife inserted into the center comes out hot, 30–35 minutes. Increase oven temperature to 450°. Uncover and bake until top is golden brown and crisp, 20–25 minutes. Let sit 10 minutes before serving.
  8. Do Ahead: Stuffing can be assembled 1 day ahead. Cover and chill.

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DESSERTS

[/et_pb_text][et_pb_accordion admin_label=”DESSERTS accordion” module_class=”my_accordian” _builder_version=”4.0.5″][et_pb_accordion_item open=”on” _builder_version=”4.0.5″ custom_css_open_toggle=”display: none” custom_css_toggle_title=”display: none” custom_css_toggle_icon=”display: none” custom_css_toggle_content=”display: none” custom_css_toggle=”display: none”][/et_pb_accordion_item][et_pb_accordion_item title=”Brown Sugar Cookies from Nosh with Me – contributed by jesse.in.mb” _builder_version=”3.17.6″ open=”off”]

Brown Sugar Cookies from Nosh with Me – contributed by jesse.in.mb

  • 14 tablespoons unsalted butter (1 3/4 sticks)
  • 1/4 cup granulated sugar (about 1 3/4 ounces)
  • 2 cups packed dark brown sugar (14 ounces)
  • 2 cups unbleached all-purpose flour plus 2 tablespoons ( about 10 1/2 ounces)
  • 1/2 teaspoon baking soda
  • 1/4 teaspoon baking powder
  • 1/2 teaspoon table salt
  • 1 large egg
  • 1 large egg yolk
  • 1 tablespoon vanilla extract
  1. Heat 10 tablespoons of the butter in a pan over medium-high heat until melted. Continue to cook the butter until it is browned a dark golden color and smells nutty, about 1 to 3 minutes. Transfer the browned butter to a bowl and stir the rest of the butter into the hot butter until it melts- let this rest for 15 min.
  2. Preheat oven to 350 degrees F. In a baking dish, mix granulated sugar and a ¼ cup of the brown sugar until combined well; set this mixture aside to roll dough balls in.
  3. Mix flour, baking soda, and baking powder in a bowl. Add 1 ¾ cup brown sugar and salt to cooled butter and mix until there are no lumps. Add egg, yolk, and vanilla to butter mixture and mix well, then add flour and mix until just combined.
  4. Roll dough into balls about 1 ½ inches in diameter, and roll balls in brown sugar and white sugar mixture. Place balls about 2 inches apart on parchment lined baking sheets.
  5. Bake sheets one at a time until cookies are puffy and lightly browned, about 12-14 minutes. (It says the cookies will look slightly raw between some of the cracks and seem underdone, but be careful not to over bake.) Cool on sheet for about 5 minutes and then transfer to a rack to cool.


[/et_pb_accordion_item][et_pb_accordion_item title=”jesse.in.mb’s Aunt Sheryl’s Dutch Apple Pie” _builder_version=”3.17.6″ open=”off”]

jesse.in.mb's Aunt Sheryl's Dutch Apple Pie

(It’s the best, fight me!)

  • 1 single 10" pie crust

Filling

  • 2/3 cup sugar
  • 2 Tbsp all purpose flour
  • ¾ tsp cinnamon
  • ½ fresh lemon
  • 6-8 tart apples pared cored (pared,cored and sliced (equaling 6 cups))

Crumb Topping

  • ½ cup flour
  • ¼ cup sugar
  • ¼ cup butter

For Filling

  1. Combine first three ingredients.
  2. Put apples in crust, sprinkle dry mix over apples then squeeze ½ lemon over them (can be left for up to 24 hours in the fridge for more flavor).

For Crumb Topping

  1. Combine flour and sugar, cut in butter until crumbly.
  2. Sprinkle on top of apples.
  3. Bake at 400 for 45-50 minutes


[/et_pb_accordion_item][et_pb_accordion_item title=”Pumpkin Imperial Stout Tiramisu by Nephilium” _builder_version=”3.17.6″ open=”off”]

Pumpkin Imperial Stout Tiramisu by Nephilium

So here’s a recipe (modified from an issue of BeerAdvocate).

  • 1 pint heavy whipping cream
  • ½ tsp cinnamon
  • ¼ tsp nutmeg
  • 1/8 tsp clove
  • ¼ cup Dry Malt Extract
  • 1 cup pumpkin puree
  • 2 cup mascarpone cheese
  • 24 oz Rasputin Imperial Stout or any other good Russian Imperial Stout
  • 3 packages ladyfinger cookies
  • 1 cup Simpsons Special Dark Roast Malt ground to a powder
  • cinnamon ground
  • powdered sugar
  1. In a medium bowl, add cream, cinnamon, nutmeg, clove and DME. Mix this until soft peaks form, then set aside. In a different bowl, mix together the pumpkin and the mascarpone until fully combined. Fold the pumpkin mixture into the spiced whipped cream until blended (some streaks are fine), and then set aside.
  2. Pour the stout into a shallow bowl or a pie plate. Select your serving container (I usually use a 13 x 9 pan, but you can use whatever size you wish). Then you begin the assembly of the tiramisu.
  3. Dip ladyfingers into the stout for 10 seconds, then flip them, and let them sit for 10 seconds again. Then place the ladyfingers into your serving container until you have a single layer.
  4. Then take a third of the pumpkin cream filling and distribute it over the ladyfingers. Dust with malt powder, then add another layer of soaked ladyfingers.
  5. Top the second layer with pumpkin cream and then garnish with malt powder, some cinnamon, and powdered sugar.
  6. Cover with plastic wrap and refrigerate for at least two hours before serving.

DME and Simpsons Special Dark Roast can be acquired at your local homebrew store. Otherwise you can substitute ovaltine for the DME, and cocoa powder for the Special Dark Roast.

If you use a smaller container, you can go to three layers of each, or even four. Do what you want, it’s your dessert.


[/et_pb_accordion_item][et_pb_accordion_item title=”Hayeksplosives’s Easy, No Brainer, Creamy Pumpkin Pie” _builder_version=”3.17.6″ open=”off”]

Hayeksplosives's Easy, No Brainer, Creamy Pumpkin Pie

Easy, foolproof, and better than anything the store sells.

  • 1 14 oz can Sweetened Condensed Milk
  • 2 eggs
  • 1 tsp ground cinnamon
  • 1 tsp ground ginger
  • 1 tsp ground nutmeg
  • 1 15 oz can pumpkin
  • 1/2 tsp salt
  • 1 9-inch unbaked pie crust (I ALWAYS use graham cracker–it's great with the pumpkin spices.)
  1. Preheat oven to 425F.
  2. Whisk pumpkin, sweetened condensed milk, eggs, spices, and salt in bowl until smooth.
  3. Pour into pie crust.
  4. Bake 15 minutes.
  5. Reduce temp to 350F and bake 35-40 minutes until knife inserted in center comes out clean.
  6. Cool.
  7. Garnish with whipped cream or Cool Whip.


[/et_pb_accordion_item][et_pb_accordion_item title=”SP’s Vegan Pumpkin Chia Pudding” _builder_version=”3.17.6″ open=”off”]

SP’s Vegan Pumpkin Chia Pudding

Even Web Dom can have a seasonal Thanksgiving dessert.

  • 1/4 c chia seeds
  • 1 c unsweetened vanilla almond milk
  • 1 tsp vanilla extract
  • 2 tsp sugar (or 10-15 drops liquid stevia, or to taste)
  • 1/4 c pumpkin puree
  • 1/2 tsp pumpkin pie spice (or equivalent components)
  • pinch salt
  • 2 tbsp pecans (toasted and chopped)

  1. Combine chia seeds with almond milk in a medium bowl. Set aside for one hour.

  2. Add vanilla extract, sweetener of choice, pumpkin puree, pumpkin pie spice, and salt to the bowl with chia seeds and almond milk. 

  3. Process with an immersion blender until smooth. Adjust sweetener to taste.

  4. Pour into a dessert dish and top with pecans.

We prefer less-sweet foods, so you may want to adjust the sweetness to your preference.


[/et_pb_accordion_item][et_pb_accordion_item title=”SP’s Candied Cashews” _builder_version=”3.17.6″ open=”off”]

Candied Cashews

  • 2 cups whole cashews
  • 1 egg white
  • 1 tsp water
  • 2/3 cup granulated white sugar
  • 1/4 tsp salt
  • 1/2 tsp cinnamon

  1. Preheat oven to 325F. Line a baking sheet with a silicone baking mat or parchment paper.

  2. Beat egg white with the water in a medium bowl until foamy and light.

  3. Add the cashews, sugar, salt and cinnamon to the bowl. Stir thoroughly; nuts should be completely coated.

  4. Spread the mixture as evenly as possible on the baking sheet. Bake for about 30 minutes or until nuts are beginning to caramelize.

  5. Remove from the oven and allow nuts to cool.  Store in an air tight container.


[/et_pb_accordion_item][et_pb_accordion_item title=”Ina Garten’s Pear, Apple & Cranberry Crisp – contributed by SP” _builder_version=”3.17.6″ open=”off”]

Ina Garten's Pear, Apple & Cranberry Crisp – contributed by SP

This is pretty close to a crisp I make, except I use fresh cranberries. But this one has the added virtue of already being keyed in.

For the filling

  • 2 pounds ripe Bosc pears (4 pears)
  • 2 pounds firm Macoun apples (6 apples)
  • 3/4 cup dried cranberries
  • 1 teaspoon grated orange zest
  • 1 teaspoon grated lemon zest
  • 2 tablespoons freshly squeezed orange juice
  • 2 tablespoons freshly squeezed lemon juice
  • 1/2 cup granulated sugar
  • 1/4 cup all-purpose flour
  • 1 teaspoon ground cinnamon
  • 1/2 teaspoon ground nutmeg

For the topping

  • 1 1/2 cups all-purpose flour
  • 3/4 cup granulated sugar
  • 3/4 cup light brown sugar lightly packed
  • 1/2 teaspoon kosher salt
  • 1 cup old-fashioned oatmeal
  • 1/2 pound 2 sticks cold unsalted butter (diced)
  1. Preheat the oven to 350 degrees F.

For the filling:

  1. Peel and core the pears and apples and cut them into large chunks. Place the fruit in a large bowl and toss with the cranberries, zests, juices, granulated sugar, flour, cinnamon, and nutmeg. Pour into a 9 x 12 x 2-inch baking dish.

For the topping:

  1. Combine the flour, sugars, salt, oatmeal, and cold butter in the bowl of an electric mixer fitted with a paddle attachment. Mix on low speed for 1 to 2 minutes, or until the mixture is in large crumbles. Sprinkle evenly over the fruit, covering the fruit completely.
  2. Place the baking dish on a parchment-lined sheet pan and bake for 50 minutes to 1 hour, until the top is brown and the fruit is bubbly. Serve warm.


[/et_pb_accordion_item][et_pb_accordion_item title=”Pistoffnick’s Low Carb Cheesecake” _builder_version=”4.0.5″ open=”off”]

Pistoffnick's Low Carb Cheesecake

I don’t usually do sweets, but this is my favorite desert.

For the Crust

  • 1 1/2 cups almond flour
  • 1/4 cup salted butter melted
  • 2 tbsp Erythritol (optional)

For the Filling

  • 3 cups cream cheese
  • 2 cups sour cream full fat (full fat, I tell you)
  • 3 eggs large
  • 4 tbsp Erythritol (optional)
  • 1 tsp real vanilla extract (don't chu be usin' that imitation shit! Buy a bean or two. Soak it in vodka.)

Topping (OPTIONAL)

  • 1/4 cup berries sliced
  • 1/2 cup heavy cream whipped
  • 2 tbsp Erythritol (optional)
  1. Preheat oven to 300°F
  2. In a large bowl combine almond flour, melted butter, and sweetener. Mix together using a spoon until the ingredients are homogeneous. Add the mixture into a spring form pan and press this mixture evenly to make the crust firm and tight.
  3. Bake the crust for 10 minutes until it becomes lightly golden browned and remove the crust from the oven. Let it cool while you make the filling.
  4. In a bowl, combine eggs, sweetener, cream cheese, sour cream and vanilla. Mix thoroughly with a hand whisk or blender until smooth then add this mixture to the crust and bake the cheesecake at 350 F for 30 min or until firm and browned.
  5. Remove and refrigerate for six hours. You can add berries and whipping cream on the top to decorate (optional). Enjoy the decadence!

[/et_pb_accordion_item][et_pb_accordion_item title=”The Nugget Pecan Pie (from Aunt Renée) by jesse.in.mb” _builder_version=”4.0.5″ open=”off”]

The Nugget Pecan Pie (from Aunt Renée) by jesse.in.mb

A vintage recipe that used to come in the matchbooks for Reno’s The Nugget Casino which I got from my aunt who grew up there.

  • 1 unbaked pie shell
  • 1 c Kayro Syrup (light, dark or a mix are all fine)
  • ¾ c granulated sugar
  • 4 oz melted butter (1 stick)
  • 3 eggs
  • 1 tsp vanilla
  • 3 oz ¾c pecan pieces
  • 3 oz ¾c pecan halves
  1. Mix together syrup and sugar.
  2. Add melted butter.
  3. Mix in eggs and vanilla.
  4. Let stand for 1 hour.
  5. Place pecan pieces in the bottom of a 9” unbaked pie shell, pour in the filling, add the halves on top (make it look nice). Bake 45-50 minutes at 325F.

[/et_pb_accordion_item][et_pb_accordion_item title=”Pink Stuff by Hayeksplosives” _builder_version=”4.0.5″ open=”off”]

Pink Stuff by Hayeksplosives

  • ¼ cup lemon juice
  • 1 can 15 oz sweetened condensed milk (Eaglebrand)
  • 1 can cherry pie filling
  • 1 can mandarin orange slices (strained)
  • 1 can crushed pineapple (strained)
  • ½ cup walnut halves (broken or coarsely chopped)
  • 8 oz cool whip
  1. Whisk together lemon juice and condensed milk until smooth. Stir in pie filling, oranges, pineapple, and walnuts until the cherry pie filling color is even throughout the mixture. With a wide spatula, gently fold in cool whip until even. Do not beat. Refrigerate until serving.

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Comments

272 responses to “3rd Annual Glib Community Thanksgiving Recipe Post!”

  1. Yusef drives a Kia

    How do you close a recipe?

    1. UnCivilServant

      </recipe>

      1. Yusef drives a Kia

        Smartass,
        Howdy

        1. UnCivilServant

          Howdy. Apparently I keep missing the updates. I hope things get better for you and yours soon. If there’s a way for me to help, I can.

          1. Yusef drives a Kia

            You can try this if you are interested
            https://www.paypal.me/yusefthehomeless

          2. UnCivilServant

            Yes, I will, once I get home. (Too many untrusted eyes on the work network. And a reverse proxy that intercepts and decrypts the SSL traffic.)

          3. Yusef drives a Kia

            Thanks

          4. UnCivilServant

            Done.

  2. The Late P Brooks

    There is a very real possibility I will be having a Marie Callender turkey pot pie.

  3. PieInTheSky

    there is a country suspiciously missing from the wine recommendations

    1. UnCivilServant

      Did you submit any recommendations?

      1. PieInTheSky

        off course not I don’t do thanks giving.

        1. jesse.in.mb

          No codified harvest festival at the national or regional level?

          1. PieInTheSky

            nope. we do have pastrami and bad wine about a month after harvest when the wine is partially fermented.

          2. jesse.in.mb

            This is no fun. I’m now on a Romanian tourism page about things to do in Romania in the fall.

          3. PieInTheSky

            the weather is nice you can walk about

          4. jesse.in.mb

            Maybe I’ll push that way for next year’s big trip. My travel buddy has been to Bucharest for work and really liked it.

          5. SP

            I’ll give you a list of places I’d like photos of for my genealogy files, Jesse. 🙂

  4. The Late P Brooks

    Low carb cheesecake?

    BAH!

    1. pistoffnick

      It’s good!

      1. UnCivilServant

        “It’s a brick of cheese.”

        “But it’s good cheese!”

      2. Gender Traitor

        That’s the recipe that interests me the most, at least at first glance. I’m dreading the effect the holidays are going to have on my modest weight loss goal. #Glibfitfail

        1. R C Dean

          More like #GlibFat, amirite?

      3. Tundra

        Looks great! I approve and will try.

  5. PieInTheSky

    Autumnal Cocktail – can you even taste the rye through all that?

    1. R C Dean

      You bet. Or, you can experiment and change the relative proportions. I find that my cocktail recipes “drift” over time; most recently, to reducing the sweetener (maple syrup, in this case). Its all about balancing proportions to your taste. Haven’t made this one in awhile, but I’d probably go half an ounce of maple syrup now.

      The Pink Pirate I make now uses less cranberry juice, for example.

      1. PieInTheSky

        my cocktail prefference goes to simpler is better. I did have one I found surprisingly okay last week that had some ale. I bought is at the whiskey fest mostly because I wanted something refreshing and also you could keep the cup

        1. R C Dean

          Most of my recipes are three or four ingredients.

          I need to put together a new post – got a new Old-Fashioned recipe that Mrs. Dean is grooving on.

      2. AlexinCT

        My Martinis are the same way. These days I put in the olives and wave the closed bottle of vermouth around the glass filled with gin….

        1. TARDIS

          Not quite a Winston Churchill, but close enough.

  6. leon

    That’s a lot of food. The glibs collective depth of talent always amazes me.

  7. PieInTheSky

    Artichoke Dip by jesse.in.mb – g.. no not gonna say it.

    1. PieInTheSky

      Pistoffnick’s Smoked Fish – smoke fish? aint nobody got time for that. you can buy that shit pre smoked.

      1. Certified Public Asshat

        If you’ve ever seen salmon “bleed” a white, creamy substance, that’s a protein

        But then we don’t get lines such as this.

        1. Q Continuum

          That’s a line that always works with the ladies.

          1. AlexinCT

            It’s got 12 essential vitamins and minerals, and I want you to get your minimum daily requirement, bitch…..

        2. SUPREME OVERLORD trshmnstr

          Albumen means moisture. The more Albumen you lose, the drier the salmon.

      2. pistoffnick

        Aye. You can (and I have).

        I like to control my sugar intake.

        1. PieInTheSky

          wait smoked salmon has sugar? hmmm I need to read labels better. I don’t want no sugar

          1. pistoffnick

            Yes it generally does. That’s why it tastes so good

          2. PieInTheSky

            eeewwww gross

      3. Gustave Lytton

        Smoked steelhead > smoked salmon.

        1. Bobarian LMD

          Smoked Brisket >> Smoked Turkey > Fried Turkey >>>>>>Smoked Fish.

          1. Gustave Lytton

            Luckily Sanders’ wet dreams aren’t reality yet, so we can have all of the above.

          2. pistoffnick

            “Smoked Brisket >> Smoked Turkey > Fried Turkey >>>>>>Smoked Fish.”

            There is no accounting for some people’s taste.

            I’ll take pulled pork over brisket any day.

          3. TARDIS

            I used to be that way until I found a brisket brine I liked.

        2. pistoffnick

          Haven’t had steelhead. I have had smoked sucker. Aside from all the little bones, it was quite tasty.

          My wife has a cow-orker who makes a smoked trout pate that is extremely good.

          1. Not Adahn

            …I’m trying to remember where I’ve had that before.

      4. SUPREME OVERLORD trshmnstr

        Not even close to the same. I smoke a side of Atlantic salmon using this recipe and Applewood. Wife likes it so much that I get the good lovin’ on smoked salmon night.

    2. PieInTheSky

      Playa Manhattan’s Superior Turkey & Gravy – the whole art is to roast whole. any amateur can roast pieces.

      1. Playa Manhattan

        Dark meat is done at 185F. White meat is overcooked at 165F. The protein profiles are also completely different, and need to be seasoned accordingly.

        You know how everyone has turkey sandwiches for lunch on Friday? I don’t, because I don’t have leftovers.

        1. Not Adahn

          You need to buy a bigger turkey then, because roast turkey BLTs are the shizzle.

    3. PieInTheSky

      Deep Fried Turkey by mexicansharpshooter – film it and post the disaster on youtube

      1. pistoffnick

        I have deep fried a turkey. It was my best turkey ever.

        Then I left the pot of oil to cool on my deck over night. The neighborhood bear tipped the pot over and oiled my deck boards.

        1. Bobarian LMD

          He probably left oil spills all over the neighborhood too, when near shit himself to death.

        2. Not Adahn

          It was polite of him to refinish your deck for you.

        3. AlexinCT

          “I have deep fried a turkey. It was my best turkey ever.”

          Ditto. Never will do a baked one again after doing the deep frying. Because of the brine it marinated in for 36 hrs, the damn thing came out tasting so good that you might have wanted to have sex with it…

          1. TARDIS

            “Dear Penthouse Letters,”

      2. jesse.in.mb

        Probably best not to encourage this. ms is one of our most reliable contributors and if he gets burns over significant parts of his body we may be lacking for links and content.

        1. Jarflax

          A female friend of mine used to insist on deep frying turkey. It was tasty, but oddly the putting 10-15 lb. bird in boiling oil and taking 10-15 lb. bird out of boiling oil steps always fell to one of us guys. The moment when you slip a bit and drop it creating a splash is the fastest you will ever jump back.

          1. jesse.in.mb

            Our back house neighbors (attached, single-story duplex) decided they were going to fry a turkey a few years ago and asked our permission first. They set up a whole pulley system and made sure that the damn thing was completely defrosted. They still had a ring of dead grass for a while in the back yard.

            The leftovers were awesome.

    4. PieInTheSky

      Pink Stuff is people

    5. SP

      It just sounds like you are envious of our wonderful Thanksgiving celebration.

      You should have planned a trip to the USA during this timeframe.

  8. PieInTheSky

    do you people do stuffing actually in the bird or separately and is it really still stuffing?

    1. R C Dean

      Both and yes.

    2. Not Adahn

      Then it’s “dressing.”

      1. SUPREME OVERLORD trshmnstr

        This

    3. Mojeaux

      Not when I cook. I soatchcock the bird (lighting Jarflax signal). I could roast it on a bed of stuffing, but I use savory vegetables and a fruit, depending on my mood.

      1. Jarflax

        Fruit goes in Hate Bird and Hung Bird stuffing, Franklin Bird and Yard Bird are better with a savory stuffing. But tastes differ, and at this time of year I will put aside all my thoughts about the wrongness and just be thankful that this place exists and has all you wonderful Tulpae to help keep my sanity level high and my misanthropy low.

    4. Semi-Spartan Dad

      It can be regional. In the South, it’s usually called dressing regardless of if the bird is stuffed. Northerners generally call it stuffing even if separate from the bird.

    5. SUPREME OVERLORD trshmnstr

      I never got the point of stuffing the actual bird. If you cook it in the bird, then you’re just asking for illness, and shoveling it into the bird after seems like an awful lot of work just to shovel it right back out. It tastes just the same if you simply reserve some drippings to mix into the dressing.

      1. R C Dean

        I never got the point of stuffing the actual bird.

        Done right, stuffing helps keep the turkey from drying out.

    6. Old Man With Candy

      I didn’t need to stuff it, it wasn’t empty.

      1. SUPREME OVERLORD trshmnstr

        You’re supposed to pull the bag of organs out before you cook the bird.

        1. UnCivilServant

          Next you’ll tell me I’m supposed to remove the feathers too.

  9. Q Continuum

    My favorite recipe:

    1. Pick up phone
    2. Dial [insert favorite pizza place here].
    3. Order pizza.
    4. Profit!

    Optional:
    Massive amounts of [insert favorite alcohol here].

    1. PieInTheSky

      can you get that delivered by a well endowed young lady?

      1. Q Continuum

        Ask NotAdahn because it’s left up to the stars.

        1. Certified Public Asshat

          The answer is no, it’s always some gruff looking dude.

          1. jesse.in.mb

            Go on…

          2. Certified Public Asshat

            Let’s just say, a stiff tip is always given at the end.

    2. Q Continuum

      Two-pronged advantage:

      1. No preparation.
      2. Eliminates majority/all family interaction.

    3. Certified Public Asshat

      I’ll attempt to start controversy….best two topping combo: pepperoni and mushroom.

      1. pistoffnick

        I was on a home-made pizza kick about 5 years ago (before going low carb. Shit I’ve been low carb for 5 years and still a fat fuck).

        I think my best was pepperoni, mushroom, anchovy, and spinach with an egg on top.

        1. SP

          No, that’s way too many toppings on one pizza. (I’m assuming you also had sauce of some kind and at least one cheese, as well.)

          1. pistoffnick

            Blasphemy!

      2. Rebel Scum

        pepperoni and mushroom

        This is about as controversial as the Salvatio – oh, wait. People hate them now for some reason.

        But I do like me some pepp and mushroom.

      3. R C Dean

        Wrong. Best two-topping combo is pepperoni and red peppers, preferably roasted.

        Our current order: pepperoni, Italian sausage (they have a really good spicy one), mushrooms and green peppers (because they rarely have red peppers). Also, use sliced mozz rather than shredded. Tomato sauce, of course. And a hand-tossed crust that they usually just nail – right thickness, right chew.

      4. SUPREME OVERLORD trshmnstr

        That’s my go-to. Crimini mushrooms for a basic week, fancy mushroom mix and a fancier cured meat when feeling ritzy.

      5. robc

        Half right. The true answer is pepperoni and black olive.

    4. UnCivilServant

      The pizza place is closed on thanksgiving.

      And I’m outside their delivery radius.

      No, I don’t care if there’s an Inferno Pizza literally a block away, I don’t eat there.

      1. Not Adahn

        Huh. The one in Malta was quite good, for the pillowy-crust genre.

        There are finally good Neapolitan style pizzerias where I live/work.

        1. UnCivilServant

          I’m not a fan of pillow-crust pizza.

          Reminds me too much of the stuff they served at school.

  10. Mojeaux

    Getting catered from local grocery store. I am not in the mood for Tryptophan Day, and my mother and her two sisters who live with her are too decrepit to put on the big shindig they do almost every year. My mother and her older sister are thrilled to not have to do it. The youngest sister is the one who threw a fit and said if she and the two other decrepit ones couldn’t/wouldn’t do it, she’d stay home alone.

    Normally, I’d be all “Bye, Felicia” (“Okay, Boomer,” wasn’t a thing yet.)

    This time, however, I said, “That is the most childish thing I’ve ever seen and you know my children. How old are you again? Quit making MY mother work for your whimsies.” I could have gone on, but brevity is the soul of cutting someone down to size.

    1. Naptown Bill

      Wegman’s does a good T-day spread, but it’s pricey. Don’t turn your nose up at Boston Market, either. You could do a hell of a lot worse for the price, and aside from the cornbread being sweet I’ve always been pretty happy with their food.

      1. Mojeaux

        Boston Market didn’t do well here, but I don’t know why. I like their food and if we had one (less than 30 miles away, that is), I’d have gone that route.

    2. Bobarian LMD

      Our local Kroeger does a really fine spread with the option of a roasted, smoked, or fried bird. Heat and serve.

      1. Mojeaux

        Yeah, Hy-Vee and our local chain Price Chopper do so as well. My mom orefers Price Chopper’s food. Price Chopper even offers a prime rib dinner. Mr. Mojeaux, who loves prime rib, looked at me like I was crazy for even thinking about it.

        I did want to go out to eat, but there were no options that weren’t ginormously expensive or that served actual turkey dinner with all the right trimmings.

        1. SP

          The nicest Hy-Vee in Dubuque has a really pretty good restaurant inside. WebDom and I have eaten there a few times when in town.

          1. pistoffnick

            Concur (used to live in Dubuque)

        2. R C Dean

          I’ve had a couple of spectacular T-givings at pricey restaurants. The classic spread, only done all fancy-like (and no dishes after).

        3. UnCivilServant

          Wait a minute… what state are you in that you’re in Price Chopper’s service area?

          1. Ted S.

            I was going to ask that too. I thought I was on the edge of Price Chopper’s range, and found them to be much more expensive than Hannaford.

          2. Canis lupus

            It’s a different company than the one in New York

  11. Bobarian LMD

    Me and Mrs. Bobarian are getting up next Thursday AM and getting on a plane to Vegas!

    Konichiwa, Bitches!

  12. Tundra

    Thanks for putting this together, SP!

    And thanks especially for posting it at lunchtime!

    1. SP

      You’re welcome.

      Enjoy Montana!

    2. Sensei

      At least it is after lunch for me!

      Only in NYC is a bowl of ramen + poached egg + coke over $20 with tip. Still worth it as making the stock (dashi) is a royal PITA.

      Thanks SP!

      1. Tundra

        Lunch is usually my first meal of the day, so I’m raring to go by 12:30.

        I am usually too lazy to make my own broth. Which is stupid, because it’s not difficult and is light years better.

        1. Sensei

          Many variations of dashi are pork, chicken and seafood combined. They simmer for hours. Prep is a bit of work, but after that not so bad. You have to skim off the scum and eventually you have a lot stock you have to refrigerate or freeze because it doesn’t make sense to do in small batches.

          After that you adjust to the particular ramen you want to make. So for my lunch you add soy sauce and a flavored oil, frequently garlic, before serving.

          Ramen is PITA to make so usually eaten outside the home. But it’s generally cheap! Not so much here.

          1. Ted S.

            Just buy the blocks of instant ramen.

            /ducking

  13. Q Continuum

    OT: wut

    https://nypost.com/2019/11/20/podcast-porn-is-on-the-rise-and-revealing-strange-new-kinks/

    1. Florida Man

      Whoever wrote that is too young to remember 1-900 numbers.

      1. Chipwooder

        Dial 1-900-MIXALOT, and kick them nasty thoughts

  14. Naptown Bill

    I am bookmarking the shit out of this.

    I’ll be spending most of next week recovering from the massive family camping trip I’m getting ready for today. All–and I mean every single one–of my in-laws on my wife’s mother’s side go camping in Flintstone, MD this time every year. Then, just to make sure everyone is as sick of each other as they can be, they all get together for Thanksgiving, where all the crap everyone left at everyone else’s campsite gets returned. It’s around 30 to 40 people actually eating, so it’s sort of a buffet-style as opposed to the multi-course affair my family used to do when we all spoke to each other.

    For ease of preparation and transport I do mashed potatoes, typically about ten pounds worth. There are three keys, I’ve found, aside from the obvious quality of ingredients. First, do not skimp on butter and heavy cream. Seriously, especially if you’re not going to eat them immediately, when you’ve gotten to the point where you think adding any more cream will make them too wet, add another quarter cup. Half that moisture will evaporate before you serve them. Second, use a ricer rather than a masher. Third, add a clove or two of garlic for every three to five pounds of potatoes while they’re boiling, and mash/rice the garlic along with the potatoes.

    Personally, I like whipped potatoes, but my wife’s family are shanty Irish philistines, so I do the best I can.

    1. wdalasio

      First, do not skimp on butter and heavy cream.

      Isn’t that sort of an evergreen cooking tip?

      1. Bobarian LMD

        It works at the orgy, too.

        Lots of whipping.

        1. Gustave Lytton

          +1 Herb Alpert

          1. Sensei

            …and other delights!

    2. Mojeaux

      use a ricer rather than a masher

      I use an electric hand mixer.

    3. jesse.in.mb

      When I was younger I rebelled against my mother’s boxed mashed potatoes with a brick of cream cheese and green onions mixed in. Revisiting it as an adult I feel sorry for giving her so much shit for it.

      1. Not Adahn

        My mother has declared that I’m the only one allowed to make the mashed potatoes. Which is odd, since I don’t do anything particularly fancy.

        What I do pay attention to is first, I make sure the potatoes are completely cooked, even to the point that the outsides are a bit overcooked. Then, I make sure that they are dry. After draining I put them back into the (dry) pot on the still hot stove to speed things up. You want as much dehydration as you can get so there’s room for more butter and milk to get absorbed. Third, I taste and adjust as I mash. Potatoes always seem to need a lot more salt than other vegetables.

        Since there’s only going to be one bowl, I’ll be making some condiments for people to top/stir into the mashed potatoes as they wish (a leek and a mushroom confit).

    4. SP

      That sounds like a horrific week in store. Sorry!

  15. wdalasio

    Going over some of the side dishes, a thought occurred to me. I could conceivably be okay on a vegetarian diet. I wouldn’t want to do it, but it’s not something outside the realm of viability. But, honestly, I don’t understand how someone could ever “enjoy” a vegan diet. Getting rid of meat would be no fun. But, throwing eggs, cheese, cream, etc. on the list would just be a bridge too far.

    And, honestly, I don’t see where it would be any more ethical to add those to the “no-go” list. It’s hardly a matter that fertilized eggs or milk from a nursing cow is used for these purposes. So, it’s hardly like the animals in question need it. So, feeding on these things creates an value for the animal that wouldn’t exist otherwise. Take those away (in addition to meat) and you’re mostly talking about pests.

    1. Tundra

      For you, my friend.

    2. SP

      Many vegans are insufferable. However, WebDom is vegan for health reasons, and so therefore is not preachy. And I should be moving that way, as well, but that’s been sidelined since my MIL has come to live with us. Just One More Thing I can’t add to the list of things with which I am dealing.

      OMWC, OTOH, could only be a vegan if allowed to cook and eat Asian foods every single night. And there are a very, very limited number of those dishes that hit my comfort food list.

      1. wdalasio

        I hope I wasn’t coming across as attacking anyone. That really wasn’t my intent. It does strike me, though, that the “vegan for ethical reasons” thing has the flaw I pointed out. I can see where you could argue that killing animals to eat them is unethical. I don’t agree. But there is a reasonable case that someone can make. But, if you’re arguing that, and saying it’s because you care about the welfare of those animals, I don’t think you can ignore the fact that, absent some value-added contribution to humanity, they’d pretty quickly be seen as a pest, subject to killing (including by the people who actually grow vegan crops).

        Obviously, health issues are an entirely different story. In that case, it’s more a sympathy reaction and wondering what people do to enjoy food.

        1. SP

          No worries, you didn’t come across that way, at all.

        2. UnCivilServant

          My reaction is proportionate to how much they either try to preach to me, or try to chastize me, or try to make me feel guilty.

          Choose not to eat something – doesn’t effect me.

          Politely ask me not to cook something before showing up at my place for food, I’ll try to accommodate.

          Get annoyed that I’m not psychic about your preferences, and I’ll get annoyed back.

          Start trying to say I’m wrong for being an obligate omnivore, and I do not react well.

          1. SP

            Pretty much this. People’s food choices are their choices. Leave them (and me) alone.

        3. Akira

          I do agree with vegetarians/vegans that modern factory farming conditions are terrible for the animals, and for that reason I almost always get meat from a local butcher who sells meat from farms with better conditions (including his own farm outside of town).

          What’s puzzling to me is that some vegetarians/vegans think that all animals would be happy and healthy if they were left to their own devices out in nature. I’m not sure how familiar they are with nature, but it’s generally a place where you are constantly fending off starvation, predators, and disease. It’s a brutal place where no compassion exists.

          From the animal’s point of view, I think getting popped off by a hunter is one of the more preferable ways to die. And being raised on a farm (where you are given medical care and protection from predators) is positively a blessing.

      2. Tundra

        We have vegans in the family and it presents exactly zero challenges. It’s nice to have a variety of dishes, anyway.

        Using a specific diet to address health issues is just smart. Food has such a tremendous impact on us I don’t fault anyone for using it as a therapeutic tool. Hell, I was just reading an article about the carnivore diet for certain issues.

        1. SUPREME OVERLORD trshmnstr

          I’ve experienced both kinds. The vegetarians and vegans who do what they can to minimize any inconvience and don’t preach are welcome at my house any time. The zealots and the ones who come with a list of requirements are not welcome, whether or not their particular bugaboo is veganism.

  16. Playa Manhattan

    Even though I love preparing a feast, I’m out. Not this year.

    I’m burning up some Marriott points in Palm Desert next week, coming home Thursday, and going to a buffet that’s walking distance from my house (which is a plus: bottomless mimosas).

    I don’t have an exact strategy yet, but I know my day will involve a combination of crab legs, beef, and omelets: https://glibertarians.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/11/thanksgiving-004.pdf

    1. PieInTheSky

      mimosas – eeewwww gross

      1. R C Dean

        What if they are made with blood oranges? Does that change your thinking?

    2. Tundra

      Yep. We’re traveling this year as well. Thanksgiving is my favorite holiday, and I love hosting, but it will be fun to be in the mountains with our kids and best friends.

      1. Playa Manhattan

        I tried to get a room through Thanksgiving, but Marriott wasn’t having it. Monday and Tuesday night? Suite at the JW Palm Desert with points. Thursday night? $500 per room, no points. Strong pass.

        1. Tundra

          We rented a cabin. There were plenty available.

  17. Don Escaped Zaxby’s

    https://www.reuters.com/article/us-israel-netanyahu/netanyahu-charged-in-corruption-cases-deepening-israeli-political-disarray-idUSKBN1XV24V

  18. B.P.

    Outstanding. I will probably be giving some of these recipes a try, particularly since I will have a new kitchen soon.

    What I’m finding lacking, though, is best practices and tips for peppering family and friends with unsolicited political screeds.

    1. Tundra

      When you set the table, under each napkin place a small card that reads ‘Epstein didn’t kill himself’.

      That should start a conversation.

      1. pistoffnick

        Nice!

    2. jesse.in.mb

      I suppose we could just link to some ready made explainers on Giz Media. But why should we enact this emotional labor for you!?

  19. DOOMco

    Doomsday drink

    Pour whiskey in glass.
    Speaking of, I like my bushmills but maybe I should have something a little higher up on the shelf at home.

    1. Tundra

      Bah. Drink what you like.

      And save your money. Daughters are really fucking expensive.

      1. Mojeaux

        Also, sons.

      2. DOOMco

        But tundra, it tastes good!

        1. Tundra

          Connemara is good. And not ridiculously expensive.

    2. SP

      I’m going to be making a batch of Dbl Eagle’s Aged Eggnog. And I’ll get to drink it by myself over a couple weeks because apparently nobody else here likes it.

      1. jesse.in.mb

        I have an unopened container of last-year’s aged eggnog (Alton Brown’s recipe) commenters on the recipe say that’s fine. I’m pretty convinced I’ll get the botulism from it. But we all have to die sometime. Drinking eggnog and dying of lung paralysis is probably as good a way to go as any.

        1. SP

          I think it would be fine, given the amount of alcohol in it.

          I love love love eggnog, so it wouldn’t have lasted that long here.

          1. jesse.in.mb

            I’ve been pretty disappointed with commercial eggnog for the last decade. I wanted Brown’s to be thicker. I may have to try my hand at advocaat again.

            The regional high-end dairy almost went out of business this last year. I wonder if they’ll be doing their eggnog. I haven’t seen it at Sprouts yet.

          2. Not Adahn

            If it wasn’t thick enough, you can always add more eggs.

          3. UnCivilServant

            Skip the eggs, use corn starch.

          4. jesse.in.mb

            But then I’d have to add more alcohol to keep the anti-bacterial proportions correct…It’d be a viscous cycle.

          5. Don Escaped Zaxby’s

            shearly you jest

          6. Bobarian LMD

            I saw that.

        2. Chipwooder

          *in my best Screwface voice*…..Errbody wan’ go heaven – nobody wan’ DEAD!

      2. DOOMco

        That looked good, and I’ll try it.

        It won’t get near my pizza, either.

        1. SP

          I hope your daughter doesn’t get the defective Pineapple on Pizza gene! Did you do genetic counseling for that???

          1. jesse.in.mb

            I will not be bullied for my pizza preferences! *puts pineapple, ham and jalapeños on EVERYTHING in defiance*

            Fun Finger Lakes story: I was having dinner at the independent living facility my grandmother picked and the menu had “flatbread with tomato sauce, cheese, canadian bacon and pineapple” “So Hawaiian pizza has made it to western ny, has it?” “I’m sorry sir, that’s not pizza.”

          2. UnCivilServant

            Well, it’s true, it’s not Pizza.

            Also, true Hawai’ian topped flatbread product should use Spam.

          3. jesse.in.mb

            I can’t fathom why people feel like this one thing should not be pizza. Shit, I’ve seen pizza with pineapple on it IN ITALY. They don’t have a problem with it, but Americans with their panties wound too tight do for some reason.

          4. UnCivilServant

            Italy doesn’t make Pizza. They make tomato pie. Pizza in its true expression was developed by Americans of Italian descent trying to fix the original to suit the more varied tastes of their new neighbors and earn a buck.

          5. DOOMco

            We skipped that test, we’ll see what happens when that’s what’s for dinner.

          6. Tundra

            It’s a heartwarming moment when your little girl looks up at you and says “Can we get the Hawaiian pizza, Daddy?”

            *sniffs*

          7. jesse.in.mb

            Apparently when I moved in with my adoptive parents at age 9, I expressed preference for hawaiian pizza. My adoptive father was ecstatic. He’d grown up in the western US and had no specific pizza snobbery, but was never allowed to order it for himself because my adoptive mother’s side of the family was from NY rained scorn on him (and later us). Over the years more and more of them have gone “fuck it, sweet and savory is kinda fun” and when pizza gets ordered the preponderance of them have pineapples on it now.

            I’m perfectly happy to have presided over my own tiny corner of cultural degeneracy.

          8. Tundra

            Nice.

            Funny how every single pizza joint offers it, huh?

          9. UnCivilServant

            Every single pizza joint offers wings too.

          10. UnCivilServant

            And to be clear on my position, I do eat cheesy spam and pineapple flatbread, but it’s just not pizza.

    3. wdalasio

      I like my bushmills but maybe I should have something a little higher up on the shelf at home.

      I’ve always found that, unless you get something truly awful, you generally don’t need to go that top shelf for Irish whiskeys. Personally, I’m very partial to Tullamore D.E.W. And I’ve tried the Tully 12. It’s a pretty good whiskey. I suppose if you want to get really fancy, you could get yourself a bottle of Middleton. But, it’ll definitely set you back.

    4. Florida Man

      Red breast 12 y.o.

  20. Yusef drives a Kia

    I like the store bought idea, Boston Market? Or maybe honey baked ham? They have an actual restaurant nearby,,

    1. UnCivilServant

      I think I had boston market last year.

      It was okay. If I have to go store bought, it would probably be my first choice.

      1. UnCivilServant

        The Boston Market near me suspended their regular menu and only served turkey/thanksgiving stuff on thanksgiving.

  21. Yusef drives a Kia

    Not to OT
    https://pjmedia.com/trending/vegan-sues-burger-king-because-impossible-burgers-are-contaminated-with-actual-meat/

  22. The Late P Brooks

    Sacrificial lamb, anyone?

    The president of the United Autoworkers Union, Gary Jones, abruptly resigned Wednesday just as union leaders announced they would expel him and another top UAW official in an unfolding corruption scandal.

    In a related development, General Motors (GM) filed suit against rival Fiat Chrysler Automobiles (FCA) alleging that the company bribed UAW officials in order to get favorable labor contracts and disadvantage GM.

    *sad face*

    1. Gadfly

      in order to get favorable labor contracts and disadvantage GM.

      Only one of these things can be true.

      1. Gadfly

        NVM, I read that backwards.

        1. UnCivilServant

          .MG egatnavdasid nda stcartnoc robal elbarovaf teg ot redro ni

          Sounds Welsh.

  23. pistoffnick

    We are going to my Mom’s for T-day.

    I usually bring a meat, fish, and cheese tray.
    My brother usually brings Coors Light and vodka or gin.
    My mom will make a turkey breast and ham, creamed corn, green bean casserole, and seven layer salad.

    I have a love/hate relationship with green bean casserole. https://www.mccormick.com/frenchs/recipes/salads-sides/frenchs-green-bean-casserole

    1. Tundra

      I’ve always hated – hated – green beans. I’ve had them every way imaginable and I fucking hate them.

      It’s not a very Minnesotan attitude.

      1. pistoffnick

        Blanched green beans fried with bacon bits and hoisin sauce are my favorite way to prepare green beans. The beans are mostly just a vehicle for the bacon bits and the hoisin sauce and don’t really contribute much else.

      2. We’re not saying BEAM’s an alien, but . . .

        Stir-fried until there’s streaks of caramelization on the beans, and then finished in black bean sauce. Changed my life.

  24. Pope Jimbo

    Uffda. I don’t see the recipe for green bean hotdish that I posted in response to SP yesterday!?

    1. Mojeaux

      Casserole.

      1. Pope Jimbo

        Gray duck

    2. Not Adahn

      Soime people can’t follow directions.

    3. SP

      You were supposed to email it to me. I was very clear about that.

      Go take a bicycle ride to settle down.

      1. leon

        @SP it’s my fault Pope Jimbo asked me to send it to you.

        1. UnCivilServant

          You make Pope Jimbo ask you to send it?

          1. leon

            Fuck, you.

          2. leon

            (This is a joke)

          3. UnCivilServant

            I can see the comma.

            I was just expecting it in response to the X: drive remark below.

        2. SP

          No, it’s his fault for not sending you enough stamps for the email. Why should you enact his labor AND pay for the privilege?

      2. Pope Jimbo

        My work is done here.

        Normally, I am the one asking people to perform a simple task and being swamped by a deluge of morons doing the exact opposite and then complaining. For example, I’ll say, “add your name to spreadsheet at X:\FreeBeer.xls and you will get a free six pack mailed to you”. Within 5 minutes my inbox will be swamped with responses. Half of the people will find ways to respond that make it an order of magnitude more difficult to help them. They will send me an image of their name so you can’t even copy/paste it into the spreadsheet for them.

        For once, I wanted to live the life of a problem child. See what it feels like.

        If it wasn’t raining/sleeting now, I would go for a bike ride and whistle a jaunty tune because I’m so pleased with myself.

        1. UnCivilServant

          You’re othering the people without an X: drive.

          1. Pope Jimbo

            Another of my pet peeves. Getting an email from someone who uses some random drive letter that was somehow mapped on their computer without any details.

            “Accounting needs you to update the following spreadsheet X:\payme.xls by the end of business today if you want them to deposit money into your account.”

            When you ask them where the X drive is mapped to, they will send a screen shot of the X drive folder in Windows Explorer.

          2. ChipsnSalsa

            Best thing our IT did was axe all drive mappings but one for network drive of F:

            Then everyone had a personal network drive of U:

            Now everyone has the F: & U: drives. I say it was intentional.

          3. UnCivilServant

            Then they had to include the internal data drive and restore support for floppy disks. So they ended up with U: F: D: A: drives.

          4. Nephilium

            For some reason, one manager I need to support refuses to type anything out, and just attaches a picture. This includes taking a picture of the small MAC address label on the bottom of a Cisco phone that he wanted configured.

          5. UnCivilServant

            “I’m sorry, I’m reading your messages on a TI-82, and the picture doesn’t render.”

  25. The Late P Brooks

    Uffda. I don’t see the recipe for green bean hotdish that I posted in response to SP yesterday!?

    Post it again. It shall be known from this day forward as “Catbutt Casserole”.

    1. Pope Jimbo

      I was hoping to get her riled up yesterday when I didn’t follow directions. But she was able to lay off it. (Leon couldn’t lay off the high heat though and got perturbed). So I had to gig her again today.

      I’m going to decline your offer. Mostly because I’m not sure what this casserole stuff you and Mojeaux keep talking about is. I do know what a cattbut is though and I don’t want one of those.

      1. leon

        Leon couldn’t lay off the high heat though and got perturbed

        It’s just jokes all around.

  26. wdalasio

    My Mom moved back to the East Coast this year. So, the girlfriend and I are going to her place for Thanksgiving. This’ll be the first year in awhile where I didn’t go to my club for Thanksgiving dinner.

  27. CPRM

    As you can tell from my own recipe posts, I don’t really do recipes. But for turkey I rub it down with some brown sugar and seasoning salt. Put a stick of butter on top and a stick of butter in the cavity. I pour a full can of beer into the cavity and then baste occasionally with more beer.

    1. Yusef drives a Kia

      Beer, what can’t it do? It’s like bacon, but, Beer

    2. Bobarian LMD

      You’re sure doing a lot of things with beer and your cavity, but what happened to the turkey?

      1. SUPREME OVERLORD trshmnstr

        *applause *

  28. Timeloose

    This year Time, Mrs. Time, and the in-laws are going to my family’s house for Turkey day. Mrs. time and the MIL are making the pies.

    Two apple, one bourbon Pecan, and one pumpkin cheesecake. I might need to take it easy on the turkey and same room for pie.

    1. Tundra

      Damn. I’d skip the turkey altogether!

      1. Timeloose

        I might, but me and stuffing have a thing. Especially mom’s sausage sage stuff.

  29. Francisco d’Anconia

    Take medium rocks glass. Add 3 ice cubes. Fill glass to the rim with Buffalo Trace. Enjoy!

    Repeat as required

    1. Bobarian LMD

      Ice cubes! Philistine!

  30. Fatty Bolger

    So is this impeachment thing going to wrap up soon or what? Or will they take a week off for Thanksgiving? I’m going to be with in-laws next week, and I’m pretty sure they have it on the TV full time.

    1. Timeloose

      I have a question for The Bourbon drinking Glibs.

      I would like to buy a gift bottle for a coworker’s retirement. Price is a factor only if it exceeds 120$ or so. Any recommendations for easily found High end Bourbon?

      1. Don Escaped Zaxby’s

        Woodford Reserve and Makers Mark are the standard names up Kentucky way so far as I know.

      2. SugarFree

        Pappy Van Winkle, if you can find a bottle, would be in that range.

        As for one’s you might be able to find… Blanton’s is fantastic. And Willett Pot Still Reserve is both a great bourbon and comes in a dramatic bottle. E.H. Taylor, Jr. Barrel Proof or Small Batch also make fine gifts.

        1. Timeloose

          Thanks all,

          I’ll see what I can find in the State Store’s shitty selection.

          1. Tundra

            удачи, comrade!

          2. R C Dean

            the State Store

            Wild Turkey it is!

            Willett Pot Still Reserve

            Very showy. Just the thing for a gift.

          3. SugarFree

            Booker’s. It is a Jim Beam small batch, so they might have it. And it is bottled at barrel strength, so it is something you don’t see too often to give as a gift.

          4. Bobarian LMD

            If you go to the Jim Beam Bourbon Tour, you can fill, seal, imprint (Thumb in wax), and buy your own bottle of Booker’s on site.

            Which I got going for me.

        2. B.P.

          I concur with these recommendations. Some of the other Willett specialty bottlings kick around from time to time, too. You might be able to find Stagg Jr. too — same distillery as Pappy, but more widely available than the Buffalo Trace Antique Collection, of which Pappy is one product.

          1. R C Dean

            *Checks Total Wine website*

            Produced in very limited amounts. Not currently available.

            Well, crap.

        3. Don Escaped Zaxby’s

          I forgot Blanton: good call

      3. Bobarian LMD

        Michter’s or Blanton’s or Willett’s or Basil Hayden’s.

        I’ve never tried Jefferson’s Ocean, but heard good things and their standard blend is my go-to.

        Pappy Van Winkle requires winning a lottery just to be allowed to buy, normally.

        Four Roses Single Barrel would probably be in this wheelhouse as well.

      4. Spudalicious

        Booker’s, Elijah Craig Barrel Proof, Wild Turkey Master’s Keep, and any of the high end E. H. Taylor offerings, Willet, etc.

    2. Dr. Fronkensteen

      It will keep going until they have enough material to write up the articles of impeachment to vote on.

    3. Gadfly

      You should be spared it while at your in-laws, as I can’t imagine Congresscritters not giving themselves a vacation.

  31. Private Chipperbot

    Ghost gunz!

    Berhow’s father was an avid hunter who died two years ago. He had six registered guns in the family’s home but they were seized in 2016.

    Say what now?

    1. Rebel Scum

      What do you think the registration was for?

    2. Drake

      Hmong gang war. Not a narrative our media will have much interest in.

  32. R C Dean

    We do the family thing for most Thanksgivings. This year will be everybody (its a small family – 10, 12 if the Dean Nieces bring their current boyfriends), at Mater and Pater Dean’s. Fortunately, Bro Dean is an excellent cook and takes the helm. Mater Dean and Mrs. Dean are also damn good in the kitchen. My contribution:

    (a) a really nice charcuterie/hors d’eouvre plate for noshing on Wednesday and Thursday,
    (b) staying the hell out of the kitchen, and
    (c) keeping Pater Dean entertained.

  33. CPRM

    All the news I’ve been seeing is about impeachment crap. I didn’t even know until I started looking for Trump audio today that he had murderous dictator Erdogan at the White House last week. I mean, that I know isn’t anything important, while the fact that he called a Ukraine is of the utmost importance!

    1. R C Dean

      No opinion on the merits of the case against the Navy SEAL who Trump pardoned, but I am enjoying him reminding the chair-fillers at the Pentagon exactly who is in charge.

      The Navy will NOT be taking away Warfighter and Navy Seal Eddie Gallagher’s Trident Pin. This case was handled very badly from the beginning. Get back to business!

      As the porky Lt. Col. has shown, the Deep State has plenty of members in the military as well.

      1. leon

        The military needs a good Purging of the senior officer corps, and prosecution of them all for advising the civilian leadership into war crimes.

      2. Tundra

        I was reading an article about Rick Tocchet and that tweet reminded me of a quote from the story.

        “Back when I played, Mike Keenan would say to you: ‘If I don’t see an improvement in your play, you’re going down to Hershey. Get out of my office.’

        Sometimes it’s good to remind subordinates that they actually are.

        1. Dr. Fronkensteen

          It’s why I send my kids to their room for no good reason from time to time.

      3. Drake

        Truly excellent.

    2. Fatty Bolger

      I’ve mostly ignored it. Occasionally I’ll see a headline like “WHITE HOUSE OFFICIALS ADMIT DAMAGE AFTER BOMBSHELL TESTIMONY”, but whenever I bother to read one, it’s always anonymous officials talking about testimony that actually supports Trump’s defense.

    3. leon

      Things that have happened while impeachement proceedings:

      House re-authorized Patriot Act.
      Trump Pardons War-Criminal.

      What else?

      1. R C Dean

        Trump pardoned him before the ‘Peach Foty-Fie” show opened.

    4. “Tulsi Gabbard Apologist”

      In a sane world we would be discussing and asking questions about why we have to be so closely allied with Turkey. Instead we live in an insane world where the same people who see Russians everywhere and criticize the president for talking down to NATO allies also don’t like that the president treating NATO ally Turkey like every single previous president did.

      Either “muh…Russia” and “God bless NATO” or “muh…Turkey”. You literally cannot hold both positions at the same time. It makes absolutely no sense to be praising the NATO alliance and demanding that the president get “tougher” with Russia (which at this point could be nothing else but a proxy war), while criticizing the president for meeting with Erdogan. Without Turkey in NATO, NATO is literally nothing more than the US, the British (to a lesser extent), and countries cheer leading from the sidelines.

      We literally have the dumbest political journalists in the world

      1. Scruffy Nerfherder

        Ben Rhodes is a loathsome asshole, but he’s correct about DC journalists.

  34. The Late P Brooks

    It’s just jokes all around.

    !!!

  35. Drake

    You guys are awesome. I’m not cooking for Thanksgiving but I’m bookmarking this for reference. Thanks.

  36. Annoyed Nomad

    OT: has anybody posted about Jussie Smollett triple-downing on his innocence?

    https://www.washingtonexaminer.com/news/jussie-smollett-files-counter-lawsuit-against-chicago-for-malicious-prosecution

    1. Dr. Fronkensteen

      The guy must be desperate for money. I believe one of the reasons he did the hoax is that he felt he would be able to get more money in negotiations with his TV show as a victim. Now no show at all and no income.

  37. Chipwooder

    Here’s one of my favorite Tgiving sides – molasses glazed carrots. It’s unhealthy as all hell but hey, it’s Thanksgiving!

    1 lbs baby carrots
    half a stick of butter
    1 tbsp sugar
    1/4 cup dark molasses
    1/2 tsp freshly grated ginger
    1/4 tsp allspice
    pinch of salt

    Parboil the carrots for until they start to soften, usually 10-15 minutes. Drain them. Melt the butter in a skillet, stir in the rest of the ingredients. Turn the heat up to medium-high, let the mixture start boiling a bit, nice and thick and syrupy. Add the carrots, reduce the heat to low, simmer for about 10 minutes, stirring frquently to coat.

    1. SP

      Even though late, and not emailed to me, I will add it to the post. Because it reminds me of a carrot dish my grandmother made.

      Thanks!

      🙂

  38. The Late P Brooks

    As the porky Lt. Col. has shown, the Deep State has plenty of members in the military as well.

    Things we wish were said:

    “I am not your subordinate, mister.”

    1. Bobarian LMD

      I’m not your subordinate, Major.

      1. Dr. Fronkensteen

        I’m not your Major, buddy.

        1. hayeksplosives

          I’m not your buddy, pal!

  39. The Late P Brooks

    I’m not your subordinate, Major.

    Want to go for lieutenant?

  40. CPRM

    Do bad words make it ok to beat someone with a blunt object?

    1. UnCivilServant

      That depends.

      Am I the one swinging the blunt object? Or did I speak?

    2. “Tulsi Gabbard Apologist”

      Imagine beating the shit out of your co-worker and then using as your defense “yeah, but the guy insulted me”. That’s called for out on the streets maybe, but when you’re at work you should behave like a professional.

      1. Dr. Fronkensteen

        Unless you work in a boxing gym. Then you just gear up.

    3. Florida Man

      Actually court footage:

      https://youtu.be/QiNxqnGJqBM

    4. Bobarian LMD

      Depends on if you’re a Stillers fan, probably.

  41. TARDIS

    Well I was going to email the recipe for the Italian Sausage Dressing when I got home, as it turned out OK (I only messed up a little), but I’m late again.

    Here’s the link.

    I suppose you could use a different sausage and leave out the fennel if you you don’t like it.

    For vegetarians, a meat substitute and vegetable stock could work. I’ll do this for my kid for the family Thanksgiving and see how it goes.

    1. SP

      Thanks. I’ll add it.

      1. TARDIS

        Welcome.

  42. UnCivilServant

    Well that was surreal.

    EA’s reputation is so bad that their promotional giveaway of one month of Origin Access to users who’d turned on login verification made me assume someone had broken into my account.

    The email sent to users was only a confirmation of activating a promotional code. Now since I had not done any such thing. I hadn’t even logged into my account since the last time I played Mass Effect Andromeda (see the review on this site). But evidently this prompted enough inquiries to their helpdesk that under the ‘hacked account’ helpdesk link is a banner informing people of the promotion with a link to a page explaining it.

    Can they do anything right?

    On the other hand I might be able to see if Fallen Order is worth buying.

    1. leon

      Geeze. every big publisher tyring to do their own store drives me crazy. i don’t want to keep track of 10 different programs to play all my games. I get each console being different, but even then that doesn’t make a whole lot of sense either. Somehow I am able to play my games accross different computer manufacturers and Oses.

      1. Jarflax

        Steam works well. Steam has fixed the issues that these systems all create. Stop making me deal with a second layer on top of Steam.

  43. mexican sharpshooter

    That should be cups, not cans. That’s an awful lot of salt, and something I should’ve corrected a year ago. Hopefully you didn’t use that much salt.

    1. SP

      I’ll fix it.

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