¡Me prometí enlaces el viernes!

Brett requested assistance earlier this week for the links.  I told him I had links.  So lets do this…

 

Es culpa de españa que soy un cabron

Evidently, grievances over centuries old atrocities is not a uniquely American phenomenon.  Mexican President Andres Manuel Lopez Obrador sent a message to King Philipe IV of Spain as well as Pope Francis earlier this week, demanding an apology for conquering Mexico.  King Philipe’s response?  No quiero.

Firing the first shots in what threatens to become a diplomatic row, the Left-wing Mexican leader Andrés Manuel López Obrador  announced on Monday that he had sent letters to Spain’s King Felipe VI and Pope Francis urging them to apologize for crimes committed against the indigenous peoples of what is today Mexico.

“There were massacres and oppression. The so-called conquest was waged with the sword and the cross. They built their churches on top of the temples,” Mr López Obrador said in a video message.

He filmed the clip at a Mayan monument near the site of the first battle in which Spanish conquistador Hernán Cortés fought indigenous people 500 years ago this month.

Norway returns artifacts taken from Easter Island to Chile.

The artefacts include carved pieces and human bones from the Pacific island. In 1947, Heyerdahl became famous for skippering a tiny balsawood raft, the Kon-Tiki, on a 6,000km (3,728 miles) journey from Peru to Polynesia. His expedition proved, he said, that ancient cultures could have sailed to, and populated, the South Pacific. Later DNA tests suggested that the islands were settled by migrant populations from South East Asia.

Venezuelan opposition leader banned from running for office.  I am not going advocate regime change, but on some level there has to be somebody willing to put ricin in Maduro’s Shirley Temple.

The ban on the young opposition leader will last for 15 years, according to a statement made by state comptroller Elvis Amoroso. Amoroso, an appointee of President Nicolas Maduro, made the announcement Thursday on state broadcaster VTV. He claimed there were inconsistencies in Guaido’s personal financial disclosures and accused him of accepting gifts from foreign governments. Amoroso said Guaido had been staying in “luxurious hotels” without “justifying who was financing his exuberant accommodations” both in Venezuela and abroad.

Sounds like all those people wetting themselves over Trump’s tax returns…but as it turns out, there may be somebody crazy enough for that.

US CBP recorded the largest number of arrests at the border in 10 years.  3700.  I guess they only had one pickup truck.

CBP is on track to see as many as over 100,000 apprehensions and encounters with migrants along the southwest border in March, making it the busiest month since 2008, commissioner Kevin McAleenan said Wednesday. Of the 100,000 expected to cross, nearly 40,000 of them will be kids, the agency expects.

But on that note, invasive species have begun to pop up in the Galapagos Islands.

When Carlton’s team looked underwater, however, they found a horde of invaders. “Now we have 53, which is a rather stunning increase,” says marine biologist Gregory Ruiz, who was on the trip. “It’s about a tenfold increase.”

He says there’s no question now: “The Galapagos has been invaded” underwater.

Ruiz says they found exotic species clinging to pilings, docks and mangrove roots. The researchers hung plastic plates underwater and all sorts of alien invertebrates latched on.

It’s hard to tell where the invaders came from, Ruiz says. But rising tourism in the Galapagos means more boats, docks and pilings — transportation and homes for invasives, wherever their initial source was.

That’s all for me.  I’ll leave you with this.  Have a good weekend..

Comments

334 responses to “¡Me prometí enlaces el viernes!”

  1. Playa Manhattan

    Which language did he speak in demanding the apology?

    1. mexican sharpshooter

      ¿No es posible que AMLO habla náhuatl?

      1. Playa Manhattan

        Guac.

    2. Tonio

      Sick burn, PM.

    3. ChipsnSalsa

      “I don’t know what he was speaking but it wasn’t Spanish.”

      —King Philipe

      1. Playa Manhattan

        Yeth. Thith.

  2. Firing the first shots in what threatens to become a diplomatic row, the Left-wing Mexican leader Andrés Manuel López Obrador announced on Monday that he had sent letters to Spain’s King Felipe VI and Pope Francis urging them to apologize for crimes committed against the indigenous peoples of what is today Mexico.

    I’m sure the Mexican government, the Aztecs, and the Mayans never committed any atrocities whatsoever.

    1. Stinky Wizzleteats

      “the Aztecs”

      Come on man, what’s 40 to 80K human sacrifices every year among friends?

      1. Tonio

        Who are we to judge. All cultures are equal after all. Except Europeans.

    2. ChipsnSalsa

      peaceful tribal groups in commune with nature and each other.

    3. JaimeRoberto: Gentleman, Scholar, French Tickler

      Isn’t the percentage of Spanish DNA in Mexico something like 50%? I don’t understand complaining about one’s own ancestors. Not to mention how horrible the Aztec were. There’s a reason Cortez was able to recruit allies.

      1. Playa Manhattan

        “Ya’ll need Jesus.”

        1. Nephilium

          Excuse me, but I believe it’s, “Y’all motherfuckers need Jesus.”

      2. Enough About Palin

        “I don’t understand complaining about one’s own ancestors.”

        Apparently you’ve never met my family.

        1. Rhywun

          Or a Democrat.

  3. The Late P Brooks

    Maybe I’m crazy, but if it lives in the ocean, it’s not “non-native” to a group of islands in the ocean.

    1. invisible finger

      “It’s hard to tell where the invaders came from, Ruiz says.”

      Maybe they’re coming from the vessels of the researchers.

      1. Tonio

        ^This.

      2. Playa Manhattan

        *purges ballast tanks*

        Huh?

    2. Count Potato

      I think their point is that these species are being brought over by human activity. Like those evil Spaniards brought cattle and horses.

      1. Tonio

        You know what other species was moved across an ocean by human activity?

        1. Tundra

          The fucking Irish?

          1. Tonio

            Warm. One might even say hot…

        2. Playa Manhattan

          Hate birds, the bird that hate?
          And then became the state bird and a protected species? (predating human activity, but I’m still upset about it)

          Don’t even try to tell me that this isn’t a Canada goose,
          https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nene_(bird)

        3. mexican sharpshooter

          Pigs. I mentioned it in WAWR…

        4. MikeS

          Passer domesticus?

          1. Tonio

            Wrong direction.

          2. MikeS

            Potato!

          3. Tonio

            ^Winner, winner, tater dinner.

          4. Enough About Palin

            Did you know that the House Sparrow isn’t a sparrow? It’s actually a Weaver Finch.

            https://tenor.com/view/the-more-you-know-nbc-gif-3555507

          5. MikeS

            Did you know there used to be (and still should be) a bounty on them in many locales?

            They’re terrible little invasive birds and should be destroyed whenever and wherever they are found.

            *gets off soap box*

          6. Jarflax

            Invasive species is a perfect synonym for evolutionary success.

          7. MikeS

            They were purposely brought here by man. And purposely released all over the country.

            That aside, yes, you are right.

          8. Jarflax

            You ain’t getting rid of them is my real point. They are extraordinarily adapted to living in human occupied areas.

          9. MikeS

            Yes. That is true. They are certainly here to stay.

          10. robc

            Man is part of the evolutionary process.

            If the birds convinced man to move them around, more power to them.

          11. Spudalicious

            Can it carry a coconut?

        5. Tres Cool

          zebra mussels ?

        6. DrOtto

          My Bonnie?

          1. blackjack

            She lied about an ocean.

  4. SugarFree

    I always love these feature images. Those girls are just awesome.

    But, also, don’t they validate what Donald said about Mexico not sending us their best?

    1. Playa Manhattan

      Spain’s not sending their best to Mexico.

      It’s a vicious cycle.

  5. The Late P Brooks

    Speaking of crazy, have we discussed the Pope’s ring-kissing issue?

    1. Fourscore

      I read that as “Pope’s ring-kissing tissue” and thought I’d missed another fetish

      1. Spudalicious

        Would you want to kiss a ring that somebody else just macked on, without it being wiped off first?

  6. Playa Manhattan

    Are the artifacts actually being returned to Rapa Nui, or are they going to some museum 3000 miles away in Chile?

    1. mexican sharpshooter

      Yes.

  7. Playa Manhattan

    Maduro drinks Midori sours. Guaranteed.

    1. Tonio

      Eeeeew.

      1. Playa Manhattan

        It’s all they have left thanks to the economy.

    2. Spudalicious

      You know damn well he smokes maduro cigars.

  8. Tonio

    re: Obrador. I’m glad they’re ignoring him. You don’t see me collaring random Italians and demanding they apologize for the Roman conquest of Britain, etc. And they had the same chance to conquer Spain as Spain did them.

    1. mexican sharpshooter

      Pues si. Pero los italianos no lo hicieron.

      1. Tonio

        My point is that all that shit was done centuries ago by and to long-dead people. And it’s a foot-in-the-door approach that will one day lead to demands for reparations.

        1. Chipping Pioneer

          ¿Reparaciónes?

        2. mexican sharpshooter

          I’m agreeing with you.

        3. Jarflax

          Rift Vallley’d be awful crowded…

  9. invisible finger

    “I am not going advocate regime change,”

    I am advocating regime change, as long as it comes from within. It’s that regime change from without that causes worse problems.

    1. Spartacus

      I still say that if we tried, we could make a secret (at least for now) deal with Cuba to get them to withdraw their “advisors”. Without Cuban support, Maduro wouldn’t last a week. They know he’s a clown, and they only support him to get cheap oil. If the Cubans got a better offer they would be gone tomorrow.

    2. Jarflax

      How do you feel about a lend lease program in helicopters?

    3. R C Dean

      on some level there has to be somebody willing to put ricin in Maduro’s Shirley Temple.

      Sounds like a job for Venezuelans, to me.

  10. Rhywun

    Look at Mexico gittin’ woke. Enjoy the next several decades of lunacy, amigos.

    1. Playa Manhattan

      Their gun control is super woke.

    1. Chafed

      Hoisted on his own petard.

  11. Count Potato

    “Playboy model, 25, is charged with murdering 71-year-old psychiatrist who was found bludgeoned to death in the trunk of a car in Nevada”

    https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-6864595/Playboy-model-25-arrested-murder-71-year-old-psychiatrist.html

    1. Spartacus

      This article completely fails to answer the most important questions.

      1. Tres Cool

        I know, right? Why is that cracker wearing a bow tie, which is clearly appropriating the Nation of Islam?

        1. Spudalicious

          What you did there, it was noticed.

      2. Chipping Pioneer

        Don’t something something in crazy?

  12. The video of Maduro eating steak and lamb prepared by Salt Bae still makes me rage to this day.

    1. Playa Manhattan

      Rookie mistake. Never allow your picture to be taken with a dictator.

        1. Playa Manhattan

          Nice.

          Was that before or after he started the aviation program?

          1. Gustave Lytton

            Weren’t helicopter rides straight out of the Chicago School?

          2. Chipwooder

            Gary Becker had to be physically restrained from throwing John Kenneth Galbraith from a helicopter once. True story.

          3. Enough About Palin

            John Kenneth Galbraith is my cousin Joe’s uncle.

            True story.

        2. Jarflax

          Pinochet gets a bad rap. Overthrowing Allende was not an act against human rights.

          1. wdalasio

            Pinochet is a difficult case to really nail down. On one hand, he was a bad guy. Sorry, throwing political opponents out of helicopters isn’t going to win you a humanitarian of the year award.

            Now, that said, what exactly should he have done. Allende was pretty much using his agreement with the National Legislature as a piece of toilet paper. The Legislature itself had already asked the military to intervene. Allende had had the most widely respected general arrested. And he was setting up a parallel army answerable to him and his party. And bringing in international “advisors” to support that parallel army.

            Now, what do you do? Do you let the guy set up a communist dictatorship just because you don’t want to get your hand dirty? Or do you intervene? And the problem is, once you intervene, you have a second crisis to worry about. All of the people who Allende was going to have in his parallel army have already been armed. And you’ve got the international advisors running around. If you do nothing, you’ve got a very real plausibility of a bloody civil war on your hands.

            Again, I’m not making excuses for Pinochet. But, a lot of the criticism of him ignores the fact that there was a highly constrained set of options.

          2. Jarflax

            I’m flat out making excuses for him. We on the pro liberty side wring our hands about respecting processes while outright tyrants on the other side blatantly disregard every rule of decency and law. Someone actively implementing a communist dictatorship is attacking you as directly as the guy mugging you in an alley with a knife and deserves the same response.

          3. Fourscore

            “Overthrowing Allende was not an act against human rights”.

            Just trying to cut the runner off at third, man. Those Dom Reps are fast

  13. Count Potato

    “Email addresses of almost a BILLION people are leaked in one of the biggest data breaches ever – and hackers could now have access to your name, date of birth and even where you LIVE”

    https://www.dailymail.co.uk/sciencetech/article-6864029/Biggest-breach-recorded-982-MILLION-peoples-personal-information-exposed.html

    1. Rufus the Monocled

      “Vegas 5434, Tripoli, United States, 12 minutes ago

      We used to have data breaches all the time they were called phone books.”

      Booya!

      1. Jarflax

        From the amount of spam I get I’d say the people I don’t want to have my email already do, ditto phone and address.

  14. Rufus the Monocled

    ‘I’m sorry’ isn’t what it’s all cracked up to be. Another day, and yet another act of stupidity by this clown Justin. The Ass later apologized – like usual. He must hold the record for most apologies issued by any leader in North American history.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mscLZgXtJbE

  15. Tundra

    The music is kind of scary, dude.

    1. bacon-magic

      *drops gloves*
      Avenged Sevenfold is the soft porn of metal. Toughen up buttercup. Go look up the vid for Slipknot “The Devil in I”.

    2. mexican sharpshooter
      1. Jarflax

        OMWC approved

  16. Rufus the Monocled

    I’m glad Spain is refusing to apologize. Maybe Mexico should focus on its back yard, no?

    Left wing trouble makers. LET SLEEPING DOGS LIE is a wise adage.

    1. Tonio

      Porous southern border – theirs.

  17. JaimeRoberto: Gentleman, Scholar, French Tickler

    In a fine example of unbiased reporting, SFGate has had this story on its front page for the whole week: https://www.sfgate.com/news/article/GOP-congressman-quotes-Hitler-s-Mein-Kampf-to-13716927.php

    The Congressman was talking about the Big Lie of the whole Russian Collusion Hoax, and apparently the big lie is something in Mein Kampf. I’m too lazy to search, but I bet we could find examples of the MSM accusing Trump of using the Big Lie.

    1. Jarflax

      Pretty sure the phrase the big lie comes from Goebbels not Hitler.

      1. Subwoofer

        They don’t teach history anymore so anything related to Nazis was personally Hitler to these journos.

    2. Subwoofer

      I don’t think the Big Lie is “an anti-Semitic conspiracy theory drawn verbatim from Adolf Hitler’s writings” like the author claims, but rather a propaganda tool.

      It’s 2019, and the Führer’s magnum opus, “Mein Kampf,” has become a playbook for political combat in Congress, at the very moment that Trump is calling the Democrats “anti-Jewish.”
      Umm, haven’t the Democrats gotten pretty anti-Semitic lately what with the whole BDS movement and voting in reps who clamor for Israel to be disbanded, hence Jexodus?

      It was unclear if Brooks grasped that by leveling charges of the “big lie,” he had inverted his own analogy, making Democrats the equivalent of interwar German and Austrian Jews. He set out to compare the other side to fascists, but he was the one employing a fascist smear – one that, ironically, came to define Nazi propaganda.

      Someone doesn’t understand what the Big Lie is and thinks Brooks said the Dems are the maligned victims of it rather than Trump. Dunning-Kruger at its finest.

      1. Subwoofer

        Is this article an example of that gaslighting phenomenon we keep hearing so much about?

        1. R C Dean

          Its too incoherent to be gaslighting. I can’t even tell who is supposed to be Hitler any more.

      2. DrOtto

        I quit reading after the article stated that even though the NAZIs had “socialist” in their name, that they weren’t real socialsts.

  18. Gadfly

    AMLO looks suspiciously European to me, so it would make as much sense as his demand if he were the one to apologize for conquering Mexico.

    1. Playa Manhattan

      It’s like he doesn’t even know how to grift.

      He’s trying to shake down a bankrupt country.

    2. Jarflax

      The only answer is to bring back the heirs of Maximillian.

  19. Rufus the Monocled

    I blame Trump for LITERALLY EVERYTHING.

    1. Vending machine ate my dollar.

      THANKS TRUMP

      1. Rufus the Monocled

        Acne on the rise. Acne is stress related. Trump has made people more stressful.

        Thanks Trump!

        1. I failed to check the expiration date and now my milk has gone bad.

          THANKS TRUMP

          1. Rufus the Monocled

            I decided not to invest in a stock that eventually tripled in value. Now my wife left me.

            Thanks Trump!

          2. I actually invited in the Jehovah’s Witnesses so I could hear the Good News.

            THANKS TRUMP

          3. Rufus the Monocled

            My neighbour’s wife got a nose and boob job and I can’t stop staring. Now my staring is out of control!

            THANKS TRUMP.

          4. Jarflax

            My neighbour’s wife got a nose and boob job and I can’t stop staring. Now my staring is out of control!

            THANKS TRUMP.

            Umm bad thing how?

          5. I spilled Yoohoo on my laptop and now it won’t stop playing “Dancing Queen” over and over.

            THANKS TRUMP

          6. Count Potato

            “I spilled Yoohoo on my laptop”

            Euphemism?

      2. Too close to THANKS, OBAMA

        And then before that, there was I BLAME BUSH.

        We need something new for Trump. Maybe it’s just ORANGEMANBAD.

        “Lost a sock in my laundry. ORANGEMANBAD!”

    2. To be fair he wants to take credit for everything so…

      1. Rufus the Monocled

        Shut up and play along.

        1. I tried to make a joke and got chastised by a muppet.

          DAMMIT DONNY!

          1. Rufus the Monocled

            …..Muppet chastisement is bad enough. But a Canadian Muppet? That’s bad TH. The Dude would be disappointed.

      2. Jarflax

        Trump invented breasts AND the wonderbra.

        1. Trump invented yoga pants.

          1. Trolleric the Goth

            no shit? maybe he is god-emperor after all…

            /s

    1. Jarflax

      11 has no waist at all. wtf?

    2. Rebel Scum

      8 and I have white-ish lumber for 10

      17, I’m going to need a case of water and some snacks.

      24 is probably fun.

      25, 40, 41 and I’m spent.

    3. Ayn Random Variation

      Needs moar alliteration

      Friday Fun Bags.
      Monday Mounds
      Tuesday Tatas
      Wednesday Whoppers
      Thursday Thumpers

  20. The Late P Brooks

    Let’s “fix” capitalism

    These critiques of the modern economy have some validity. But in the rush to bash capitalism — or to capitalize on the sudden unpopularity of the term — the critics haven’t done a good job of defining what capitalism means. Does it mean private property? Private ownership of industry? Market economies? Public asset markets and joint-stock ownership? Often, the term capitalism seems like simply a stand-in for whatever market-like features of modern economies someone doesn’t like.

    The really important question, therefore, is not whether capitalism is broken, but what should be done to fix the U.S. economic system.

    ——

    Would greater environmental sustainability and cheaper health care, child care, tuition and housing be enough to make Americans feel like capitalism — or more accurately, the mixed economy — is once again working in their favor? It might. And unlike the daunting task of building an entirely new political and economic system from the ground up, these fixes are feasible and fairly well-understood. Before deciding that capitalism — whatever that even means — needs to be dismantled, try addressing the sore spots.

    What a heaping helping of rambling nonsense. Government intervention in markets for education and health care, among other things, has created a giant mess. Let’s get the government more involved, in the name of capitalism.

    Or something.

    Also, global warming will kill us if we don’t let the government run the energy sector.

    1. R C Dean

      Would greater environmental sustainability and cheaper health care, child care, tuition and housing be enough to make Americans feel like capitalism — or more accurately, the mixed economy — is once again working in their favor?

      Of course, with the government imposing greater environmental sustainability and cheaper health care, child care, tuition and housing, I don’t think the economy is going to be working very well at all.

    2. Rhywun

      Capitalism doesn’t produce unlimited free rainbows and puppy dogs, therefore it needs to be fixed good and hard until it does.

      1. Jarflax

        Freedom is clearly evil. It led to the human population growing from under half a billion people most of whom were at risk of starvation on a regular basis to a population of 7.5 billion almost all of whom have sufficient food, but no all of whom have the same amount. Clearly we should give it up in favor of socialism.

    3. Ayn Random Variation

      Let’s fix gravity and vaginal while we’re at it.

      1. Lackadaisical

        Go on. . . ?

  21. wdalasio

    On one hand, AMLO’s position was absolute bullshit. The only reason the Spanish were willing to beat the Aztecs is that the rest of the local tribes rushed to fight the Aztecs for their subjugation by the Spanish because the Spanish weren’t making human sacrifices of them. On the other hand, for the last couple of decades the Spanish have been woke prigs about everyone else. It’s nice to see them put in the position of citing historical context.

  22. Gustave Lytton

    If AMLO really wanted to fuck with Spain, he’d follow up with support for Catalonia’s right to self determination.

  23. The Late P Brooks

    President Donald Trump said he’ll close the southern border next week unless Mexico “immediately” stops illegal migration into the U.S., which his Homeland Security secretary said threatens a “system-wide meltdown” at her agency.

    “Closing the border will be a profit-making operation,” Trump told reporters at his Mar-a-Lago resort in Palm Beach, Florida on Friday. “There’s a very good likelihood that I’ll be closing the border next week.”

    ———

    Homeland Security Secretary Kirstjen Nielsen said in a letter to Congress sent Thursday that apprehensions will near 100,000 this month, and that her agency faces a “system-wide meltdown.” There are 4,700 migrant children in detention facilities run by Customs and Border Patrol, she wrote, calling the figure “a symptom of a broken system.”

    “DHS facilities are overflowing, agents and officers are stretched too thin, and the magnitude of arriving and detained aliens has increased the risk of life-threatening incidents,” she wrote. She asked Congress for more money to build detention facilities for the migrants, and also wants the authority to rapidly deport children from Central America “if they have no legal right to stay.”

    Close the border? How does that work? What a clusterfuck.

    Maybe Congress should have done their job, somewhere along the way.

    1. Won’t matter. 9th Circuit will rule that US Sovereignty is unconstitutional.

      1. Rebel Scum

        You jest, but I wouldn’t be surprised.

    2. R C Dean

      Close the border? How does that work?

      The easy part is closing the bits that don’t really need closing – the ports of entry. Of course, that would inflict a lot of economic pain on both the US and Mexico. Much, much more on Mexico.

      How you “close” the part that isn’t working, I don’t have a clue. About the only thing that could work is every single person found on this side of the border who isn’t a legal resident is immediately taken back across the border – no asylum bullshit, no prosecution, just . . . gone.

      1. “inflict a lot of economic pain on both the US and Mexico. Much, much more on Mexico”

        Inflicting economic pain on Mexico would be the easiest way to get them to play ball. Cut off the gravy train from the corruptocrats in their government and they’ll seal their Southern Border faster than you can say “Quiero rellenarla como un pavo de Thanksgiving.”

      2. Heroic Mulatto

        About the only thing that could work is every single person found on this side of the border who isn’t a legal resident is immediately taken back across the border – no asylum bullshit, no prosecution, just . . . gone.

        And that would work for, what, all of 5 minutes before someone crosses the border again?

        How about we end government interference in markets – be it for alcohol, drugs, or labor.

        1. “How about we end government interference in markets”

          That’s just crazy talk.

          1. Heroic Mulatto

            Well, I’m one wild and crazy guy!

        2. Jarflax

          If we do this completely, in other words eliminate all social spending as well, I am on board with open borders. Citizenship remains a separate matter, but then I’d like to see native born folks required to demonstrate an understanding of the Constitution before voting as well.

          1. Yeah, no way the “demonstration of understanding” ™ would ever be politicized.

          2. Jarflax

            Anything can be and will be politicized, but you have no business voting if you don’t understand the concept of limitations on Government authority. In what way is the current situation better?

          3. Heroic Mulatto

            Some of the problem goes away if we roll back a lot of the “direct democracy” shit the Progressives shoved down our throats (e.g., the 17th Amendment et al.).

            The attempts to get rid of the Electoral College is worth a shooting war, in my opinion.

          4. Jarflax

            We are 100% in agreement. Democracy is as bad as a system with no input from the populace, and the founders were bright, thoughtful guys and walked a tightrope. Their successors were politicians who cut down the rope and lynched Lady Liberty with it.

        3. R C Dean

          “How about we end government interference in markets”

          Sorry, open borders are not on my list of viable alternatives at this point in time.

          And that would work for, what, all of 5 minutes before someone crosses the border again?

          The alternative is to imprison them on US soil, but they already know how to game that – drag a kid (any kid, doesn’t matter if its theirs) along, and/or demand asylum. We are out of room in our detention facilities, so they are doing the catch and release thing now, only they are releasing them in the US. That is not exactly going to prevent wave after wave of illegals from entering the country.

          If we just dump them back across the border, I think they would try again, a few times. Some might make it (placing us where we are now with the catch and release program).

          1. Ayn Random Variation

            Ok open borders
            …. Freedom of association.

            And no public assistance, public education, voting rights, etc if you’re not a citizen.

          2. Heroic Mulatto

            Sorry, open borders are not on my list of viable alternatives at this point in time.

            Leaving aside that is basically just argumentum ad lapidem, I will only say that it’s like the old joke about the guy who goes to the doctor and tells him that his arm hurts when he moves it a certain way, to which the doctor says “well, don’t do that.” If you insist on manufacturing a problem, then the problem will always find a way to exist. We only needed Eliot Ness as long as we insisted on criminalizing alcohol production and consumption. Similarly, it is a trivial observation that drug trafficking and human trafficking are interrelated. If you insist on presenting the straw-man version of open borders as anyone can cross over anywhere they want at any time, then of course it seems absurd. However, I don’t see how either a liberty-minded person, or a security-minded one, could object to an Ellis Island on the Rio Grande, allowing individuals to arrive at designated ports-of-entry to be screened for suitability to entry. It just seems like common sense to me that those with no nefarious intent would gladly arrive there, leaving border enforcement to concentrate on those who know they wouldn’t be able to enter or need to enter secretly because they are up to no good.

            Outside of those racial and/or cultural bigots who fear the Brown Peril, I am baffled by those in the liberty sphere who advocate the increase of the DHS-Industral Complex. As you admit, as long as we insist on doing this, our only options are ineffective boondoggles. The ROI on our labor prohibition enforcement efforts doesn’t seem to warrant their continuation.

          3. Ayn Random Variation

            “. If you insist on presenting the straw-man version of open borders as anyone can cross over anywhere they want at any time, then of course it seems absurd.”

            You’re building a strawman by saying that view is a strawman. It’s very real. Any argument against pure open borders is met by RACIST! and you know it.

          4. Ayn Random Variation

            “. However, I don’t see how either a liberty-minded person, or a security-minded one, could object to an Ellis Island on the Rio Grande, allowing individuals to arrive at designated ports-of-entry to be screened for suitability to entry”

            Yeah sure. And then we hear about children being ripped from their parents’ arms and, again, RACIST!!.

            What universe do you live in?

    3. Rebel Scum

      How does that work?

      A big, beautiful wall?

  24. RE: AMLO.

    I’ve always found it highly amusing the “La Raza” types always shitting their pants over “colonialization” while arguing for English/Spanish bilingualism. You folks aren’t too bright are you?

    1. Chipwooder

      Aztecs and Mayans totally spoke Spanish. You didn’t know that???

    2. Jarflax

      Colonialism sucked worse than anything in history except the things that happened under native rule.

  25. The Late P Brooks

    Oops. Close the Border link.

    1. JaimeRoberto: Gentleman, Scholar, French Tickler

      Maybe, maybe not, but sometimes you have no choice.

      1. Especially during those SQUATS!

    2. “If you have to ask, it’s inappropriate.”

    3. Ayn Random Variation

      The worst thing about the gym is douchebags who just have to use the machine you’re on right now or it will mess with their routine. Like they’re training for the Olympics or something.

  26. OMG! AOC, like totes owned evil Mitch!

    https://www.teenvogue.com/story/alexandria-ocasio-cortez-roasted-mitch-mcconnell-green-new-deal-senate-stunt-vote#intcid=recommendations_default-popular_f24b4106-e956-434c-beff-1d20726521d9_cral-top1-1

    I mean, we’re all gonna die in 12 years, this is an unprecedented emergency and the fate of the planet hangs in the balance! You totes shouldn’t vote yes because evil Mitch was, like, pulling a stunt! Like, OMG, this issue is so important and pressing we can’t vote yes when evil, ugly, white men are calling for the vote!

    kthxbai

    1. Rufus the Monocled

      Stunt vote? Lol.

      THIS IS SUPER IMPORTANT GUYS! I’M THE BOSS!

      1. Rufus the Monocled

        https://www.teenvogue.com/contributor/lucy-diavolo

        Lisa DIAVOLO literally translates into Lisa Devil.

        Just saying.

        1. Rufus the Monocled

          I sped read it. It wasn’t as bad as I feared. She just repeated the gibberish from AOC’s mind.

          “What McConnell’s doing is that he’s trying to rush this bill to the floor without a hearing, without any markups, without working through committee — because he doesn’t want to save our planet. Because he thinks we can drink oil in 30 years when all our water is poisoned.”

          Will that be Castrol or Lucas?

          1. According to her previous statements about how this is the PARAMOUNT EMERGENCY EVAH EVAH, rushing it would be the proper thing to do. Taking the time for a hearing is just bringing us that much closer to the Eco-Holocaust that will destroy all life on the Planet.

          2. R C Dean

            he’s trying to rush this bill to the floor without a hearing, without any markups, without working through committee

            “Dammit, we wanted our bill to be heavily compromised and amended to death before the vote! We didn’t introduce something that we actually wanted to become the law of the land!”

          3. robc

            Do they want to find out what is in it before the vote?

          4. Tejicano

            Actually, they mean baby oil. And I don’t mean the oil you use as a moisturizer for babies.

        2. Jarflax

          That’s a man baby.

    2. Rebel Scum

      12 years is not even the blink of an eye in a geological sense, which is the stupidest thing about enviromarxists/ism. If it IS only 12 years, there is literally nothing that we could to do stop any momentum, assuming climate alarmist hypotheses.

      1. AlmightyJB

        I’ve been waiting until 2020 to watch Inconvenient Truth. i’m guessing the movies predictions should be pretty funny by then.

    3. Spudalicious

      I’m sure the Senate Democrats will have no issue that she’s the one who told them to vote “present”. It’s a possibility that she turns her district red in 2020.

      1. Rhywun

        It’s a possibility that she turns her district red in 2020.

        LOL, good one.

        1. Spudalicious

          The female latina Republican I watched interviewed the other day had some good things to say. Her district is pissed that she’s turned herself into a media darling, while ignoring her own district, and she wasn’t even from there in the first place. It will be fun to watch, either way.

          1. Rhywun

            D+29

            Sandy would have to roll her grandma off a cliff on live television to have a shot at losing the next election, and even then she’d likely be running her 2nd term out of her jail cell.

          2. Spudalicious

            I do think the best chance is someone with a D challenging her, but it should still be fun.

    4. Tejicano

      I’ve been meaning to ask – is this “12 years” like real years that we should be counting down or are they the same old “eco-scare 12 years” that we have been counting down for the past 50 years?

  27. The Late P Brooks

    I blame Trump for LITERALLY EVERYTHING.

    If Trump did not exist, it would be necessary to invent him.

    1. Festus

      Ahem. They did invent him.

  28. Festus

    Whycome the Mexican girls that I saw in Mexico no look like that? I had to bone Canadians and Americans and Hollandaise the whole time. I expect an answer young man!

    1. Chipwooder

      Really? When I was in Yuma I used to see drop dead gorgeous Mexican girls around town all the time.

    2. mexican sharpshooter

      Hollandaise

      This is the weirdest fetish, yet.

      1. Festus

        Tall, slim girls that baste your eggs.

  29. Playa Manhattan

    I stand by my previous statements about Queso Fundido.

    However, do not eat it 3 days in a row.

  30. Michael

    Andrew Yang

    Verified account

    @AndrewYang

    Giving every American adult $1,000 a month is so obvious a fix to our rampant income inequality that it will happen very quickly – it just needs more of us to wake up to our own power.

    3:18 PM – 29 Mar 2019

    https://twitter.com/AndrewYang/status/1111724390561906689

    All of the 2020 Democrats each have their own uniquely retarded sycophants, but Yang’s seem to be extra special. It’s like an Amazonian cargo cult got a hold of a shipment of iPods loaded up with NPR’s Marketplace podcast and are repeating random phrases they learned out of order or context.

    1. WE JUST NEED TO PRINT MORE MONEY

      1. Michael

        The Yang Gang’s got you covered, fam!

        https://twitter.com/jmana_74/status/1111728474169892865

      2. AlmightyJB

        Print money? I thought the plan was to steal underwear?

    2. Rufus the Monocled

      What does that even mean?

      Yeh, it’s so ‘obvious’.

      Joe Rogan’s flock loved the guy.

      Where do they find these people?

    3. Gustave Lytton

      obvious a fix to our rampant income inequality that it will happen very quickly

      Technically he’s correct, just not with the outcome he’s implying.

      1. Rufus the Monocled

        He seems to think people will all spend that money the way he thinks they will.

        HEY THAT MONEY IS FOR THE ELECTRIC BILL NOT HALL & OATES TICKETS!

        1. It’s okay, you can rely on your old man’s money.

          1. Rhywun

            I… wow.

          2. +1 That’s a standing ovation/Orson Wells gif worthy comment if I ever saw one, Bravo Tashy.

        2. Count Potato

          You kids and your Dan Fogelberg!

    4. robc

      Things Yang clearly hasnt read:

      1. Gods of the Copybook Headings

      I am sure there is more, but that is a start to the list.

      1. Are we sure he even *can* read?

    5. AlmightyJB

      I’ll trade him that for eliminating all other government spending. You can maybe fund the nuke missle silos too, just in case we have to nuke it from orbit.

  31. Chipwooder

    Hah, the balls on this guy – admitted perjurer pontificates on morals

    John O. Brennan

    @JohnBrennan
    It doesn’t matter if you are a Republican, a Democrat, an Independent, or an American of any or of no political affiliation.

    We all should hold our elected officials and those who hold the public’s trust to the highest ethical and moral standards, most especially Presidents.

    Adam Schiff

    @RepAdamSchiff
    I say this to the President, and his defenders in Congress:

    You may think it’s okay how Trump and his associates interacted with Russians during the campaign.

    I don’t.

    I think it’s immoral. I think it’s unethical. I think it’s unpatriotic. And yes, I think it’s corrupt.

    Embedded video
    52.2K
    7:24 PM – Mar 28, 2019
    Twitter Ads info and privacy

    1. Mad Scientist

      With principles like that, they must really hate Hillary.

    2. Rebel Scum

      Hitler?

    3. Count Potato

      “interacted with Russians”?

      It’s gone from HACKED THE ELECTION to he might have had Russian dressing on a salad, maybe.

  32. bacon-magic

    Sounds like all those people wetting themselves over Trump’s tax returns…but as it turns out, there may be somebody crazy enough for that.

    Ummmm…I clicked the link.

  33. R C Dean

    Mexican President Andres Manuel Lopez Obrador sent a message to King Philipe IV of Spain as well as Pope Francis earlier this week, demanding an apology for conquering Mexico.

    “How dare my ancestors conquer this country and establish the religion that I am a member of!”

    1. My response would be “Why so many fucking names?”

      1. Festus

        I always find it funny that the ruling class Mexicans always look like country club republicans. Like the news people that always pronounce “Pwerrrrtoreehho”.

  34. Mad Scientist

    The researchers hung plastic plates underwater and all sorts of alien invertebrates latched on.

    I can only think of one group of people who have an actual incentive to disturb that habitat.

    1. Jarflax

      And God said, Let us make man in our image, after our likeness: and let them have dominion over the fish of the sea, and over the fowl of the air, and over the cattle, and over all the earth, and over every creeping thing that creepeth upon the earth.

      27 So God created man in his own image, in the image of God created he him; male and female created he them.

      28 And God blessed them, and God said unto them, Be fruitful, and multiply, and replenish the earth, and subdue it: and have dominion over the fish of the sea, and over the fowl of the air, and over every living thing that moveth upon the earth.

      Disturbing habitats is a God given right.

      1. slumbrew

        What happened to that reptile, anyway?

        1. Mad Scientist

          Winter came

        2. Jarflax

          Has Pie been around since the EU passed their anti-net directives?

  35. Is anyone surprised by this?

    https://hotair.com/archives/2019/03/29/reporter-head-nbc-newss-political-coverage-tried-bully-scoop-behalf-dnc/

    The alphabet soup networks are just propaganda outlets for the DNC anyway…

    1. Michael

      These are the same people have been squealing like stuck pigs whenever Trump gives a shout out to somebody on Fox.

    2. AlmightyJB

      Yeah, everything is propaganda now. There’s better analysis on YouTube.

      1. AlmightyJB

        Not that it always hasn’t been, they’re just too lazy to pretend anymore.

  36. The Late P Brooks

    The easy part is closing the bits that don’t really need closing – the ports of entry. Of course, that would inflict a lot of economic pain on both the US and Mexico. Much, much more on Mexico.

    That was really my point- “close” the border to Mexican automotive subassemblies (for example)? That’s a non-starter.

    1. What part of ‘Profit-making operation’ don’t you understand, why you people continue to question Trump’s ( A mega bazillionaire) economic intellect is beyond me.

      1. Heroic Mulatto

        Where do you think the money for the Special Olympics is coming from, big guy?

        1. AlmightyJB

          Reebok?

        2. MikeS

          Dick’s Sporting Goods?

        3. mexican sharpshooter

          Sales of chocolate bars?

          1. Nephilium

            I thought Malley’s was local.

          2. mexican sharpshooter

            ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

        4. Fourscore

          Pull tabs?

    1. AlmightyJB

      My money’s on the people with the guns.

    2. Tejicano

      “Fierce” but willingly dis-armed always seems so comical to me.

  37. So, how ’bout that Brexit?

    1. Jarflax

      Both the EU and UK are socialist slave states hellbent on destroying their societies. I sympathize with the common folk, but nothing in Brexit is going to save the UK unless they get rid of their homegrown bureaucrats.

  38. Tres Cool

    Shockingly, seems that the dog wasn’t shot, but the brave officers made it home safely. Not so much for the victim.

    1. Jarflax

      They only kill family pets, not dogs that are killing people.

      1. Tres Cool

        Yeah, I saw that one too. Unfortunately.

    2. Rebel Scum

      seems that the dog wasn’t shot

      So it jumped off of a cliff instead?

  39. Nephilium

    Few things are as delicious as the first beer of the week.

    1. MikeS

      Very true. I can’t wait for Monday to experience that again.

      1. Nephilium

        I’m trying to drop some weight, so I’ve given up drinking on work days. At least it’s working.

        1. MikeS

          Good for you! I really should do the same. I can’t wait for it to warm up so I can (hopefully) get in some good miles on the bike and work off some calories.

          1. Nephilium

            Down about 15 pounds so far this year. I’m really hoping to get back into riding this year (as opposed to last) so I can burn off some beers that way as well. Especially since I’ve only got four breweries to go to in order to complete my Cleveland brewery passport.

  40. Heroic Mulatto
    1. Not Adahn

      some pop linguistics for you: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-cbWMoMs7yM

      1. Heroic Mulatto

        Yeah, Jesse asked me what I thought of that study. I’m quite skeptical.

    2. Count Potato

      That sounds awfully low.

  41. Rebel Scum

    Avenged Sevenfold – Beast And The Harlot

    Good choice. Sometimes the gf and I take turns picking music on YouTube while we are hanging out. I will inevitably play something along the same lines. She then *narrows gaze* *rolls eyes* and leaves the room. Score.

    1. AlmightyJB

      Yeah, I like that tune as well. I occasionally give it some juke box love.

    1. Tres Cool

      Oh, fuck you directly for making me watch that. How is DWS not a lizard person? I mean….she looks like an actual lizard.

    2. Mad Scientist

      The purpose of gun control has never been to take guns away from criminals. It’s always been about taking them from everyone else.

    3. Sean

      *wanders off to sgammo.com*

      1. AlmightyJB

        I started taking inventory yesterday. Got through counting handgun ammo.

        1. Nephilium

          At some point, I need to do a full inventory of my beer cellar again. It’s probably been four years or so since the last one.

          1. AlmightyJB

            How long will it last?

          2. Nephilium

            Depends on the beer. I’ve had some over a decade old that held up well, and have some set aside for my nephews for their 21st birthday’s. If you want to cellar, darker is better, as is higher ABV. Stable temp is more important then anything else with the storage.

          3. AlmightyJB

            Cool. Thanks. I like to have a variety on hand but I honestly don’t drink that often at home so I avoid stocking up. Craft beer store is in trouble now:)

        2. Sean

          I gave up counting.

  42. Rebel Scum

    Go woke, go broke?

    Last February, when Dick’s Sporting Goods boss Ed Stack announced he was restricting gun sales at the country’s largest sports retailer, he knew it’d be costly.

    At the time, Dick’s was a major seller of firearms. Guns also drove the sale of soft goods—boots, hats, jackets. What’s more, Stack, the retailer’s chief executive officer, suspected the position could drive off some of his customers on political principle.

    He was right. Dick’s estimates the policy change cost the company about $150 million in lost sales, an amount equivalent to 1.7 percent of annual revenue. Stack says it was worth it.

    “The system does not work,” Stack said. “It’s important that when you know there’s something that’s not working, and it’s to the detriment of the public, you have to stand up.”

    1. Nephilium

      “The system does not work,” Stack said. “It’s important that when you know there’s something that’s not working, and it’s to the detriment of the public, you have to stand up.”

      Which system? The system where people can decide not to go to your store if you make public declarations that alienate them?

    2. MikeS

      $150 million in lost sales, an amount equivalent to 1.7 percent of annual revenue

      1.7% sounds pretty small…I wonder what percentage of annual profits it is equivalent to?

    3. Rhywun

      Stack says it was worth it.

      The only accomplishment I see is him stroking his own ego.

    4. AlmightyJB

      I’ll never walk in one of there stores ever again.

      1. AlmightyJB

        Their. Ted.

        1. I enjoy living rent-free in everyone’s head.

          1. AlmightyJB

            You’re like the Glib mom.

      2. Gustave Lytton

        I saw a location that had closed. I felt a twinge of hope that others would follow.

  43. LJW

    I just went into a leftist comment post regarding the Betsy Devos cutting federal funding from Special Olympics. I’ll never be able to bleach the stupidity from my memory. Here’s a sample:

    “Isn’t this how the Nazi’s started? Targeting the differently abled and the special needs population?”

    Because cutting $17 million in funding is equivalent to the slaughter of the mentally disabled by the Nazis.

    1. AlmightyJB

      I’m a Nazi, he’s a Nazi, she’s a Nazi, xe’s a Nazi, wouldn’t you like to be a Nazi too!

    2. Rebel Scum

      “We don’t think funding this (to the tune of about 10% of the total revenue…) is in the purview of the federal government” is somehow “ZOMG TARGETING JUST LIKE THE NAZIS!”

      Never mind, though. Trump reneged on that. Bad Trump.

    3. You know who else prevented some people from competing in an Olympics?

      1. AlmightyJB

        The Soviets?

      2. AlmightyJB

        Palestinian terrorists?

      3. AlmightyJB

        Jeff Gillooly

      4. MikeS

        Jimmy Carter?

        1. AlmightyJB

          “Maybe on the French team” lol

      5. Gustave Lytton

        The IOC, retroactively?

        (I still think stripping Jim Thorpe of his medal was the right thing, and the Olympics would be better off today if that was still the standard in everything)

      6. Tres Cool

        The NHL ?

    4. Brochettaward

      I, for one, had no idea that the Department of Education funded the Special Olympics. I never really asked myself who was funding it in general.

      1. Spudalicious

        They fund about 15%. The rest is from private sources. It’s a grandstanding argument.

        1. Heroic Mulatto

          Fair enough. But 15% is 15% too much to begin with.

        2. Brochettaward

          This is a prime example of why government spending will never be under control.

      2. Do you know what’s better than not knowing who funds the Special Olympics?

        1. Mad Scientist

          Not caring?

        2. Not Adahn

          Hitler?

        3. mexican sharpshooter

          Do you know what’s better than not knowing who funds the Special Olympics?

          Slaughtering the Special Olympics?

          1. Nephilium

            It’s not this? I’m shocked!

        4. Count Potato

          The accounting acumen of its participants?

    5. Tejicano

      I love that a discussion about the special Olympics is being linked to NAZIs with no awareness that the origin of the five-ring Olympic symbol comes from the 1936 Olympics – and was designed by the NAZIs themselves.

    1. AlmightyJB

      So that’s what? Like 7 or 8 actual years?

      1. AlmightyJB

        The cops who killed the guy based on a bogus phone call should be there with him.

          1. Tres Cool

            #qualified immunity

    2. Rebel Scum

      Confused, Andrew Finch, 28, stepped outside where he raised and dropped his hands several times before an officer opened fire, killing him, officials said.

      And why, exactly, did the police open fire?

      1. AlmightyJB

        Because they can

      2. Gustave Lytton

        It’s not really their fault. Those guns are completely autonomous.

        1. AlmightyJB

          Damn Glock triggers

      3. MikeS

        “furitive movement” I assume

      4. Tres Cool

        There wasn’t a dog handy?

    3. Brochettaward

      Nobody can take a joke anymore.

      1. Not Adahn

        That’s is how you do edgelording.

      2. MikeS

        I laughed.

  44. Spudalicious

    Taco bell has the best hot sauce packets.

    1. Tres Cool

      Im searching for a reason to disagree, but I got nuthin’

      1. Rebel Scum

        I can’t comment because I have only had Taco Bell when I had the drunchies.

    2. Nephilium

      Are there really other places that offer hot sauce packets?

      1. Tres Cool

        Popeye’s, but its tabasco.

        1. Gustave Lytton

          Around here it’s Louisiana brand, not Tabasco.

      2. MikeS

        Taco Johns

        1. Nephilium

          I’ve had Taco Johns, there was nothing hot there at all. I still can’t believe they didn’t at least name the place Taco Juan’s. It would be so simple

          1. MikeS

            Ahh…I guess I didn’t realize you meant hot sauce packets that are actually hot. Yeah, that narrows things down quite a bit.

      3. MikeS

        The local gas station roller grill

      4. mexican sharpshooter

        Del Taco

      5. Tres Cool

        Skyline/GoldStar chili

        1. Nephilium

          I go there about once every four years, just to confirm how terrible the idea of cinnamon in chili is. I’m a firm believer in trying thing you dislike every couple of years to make sure your tastes haven’t changed. I never remember a hot sauce at them. It is Skyline up in my neck of the woods though.

          1. AlmightyJB

            Yeah, Skyline is horrible. I don’t get it.

          2. Jarflax

            why is a Greek meat stew called chili when it contains no chili, and in fact the Greeks never encountered chili?

          3. spqr2008

            Detroit Greeks invented the marketing and exported it to Cincinnati. Labels aren’t necessarily a strength of the lovely people of Michigan.

          4. spqr2008

            On that, you are objectively wrong. Skyline is wonderful, although I admit being from Cincinnati, and it having been my mom’s craving when she was pregnant with me may have something to do with it. In fact, it is so good thwlat the Walmart in Hendersonville, NC carries frozen Skyline.

      6. Not Adahn

        Taco Mayo

      7. Sean

        Not packets, but I really like Trader Joe’s habanero hot sauce. Yummy and decently hot.

        1. AlmightyJB

          This stuff is like liquid gold. Use sparingly cause it brings the heat.

          https://www.amazon.com/dp/B001EQ5AWM/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_apa_i_ihRNCbX0EYWSE

          1. Sean

            Oh, I have that too. It’s not that hot. Good flavor.

          2. Rhywun

            Their regular sauce is at the tippy-tip limit of my tolerance.

          3. Nephilium

            This is one I love. It’s also one people who don’t listen to warnings will hurt themselves with.

        2. Count Potato

          I make my own.

    3. AlmightyJB

      They’re pretty decent. I haven’t been to taco hell in over 5 years probably. It’s so easy to make it so much better at home.

    4. Sean

      You don’t carry around a bottle in your purse?

      1. Tres Cool

        +1 pandering

  45. Not Adahn

    If you’re going to make a Mjolnir, you could make it out of solid steel.

    Or you could make it hollow… and then fill it with lead.