Some of you may remember Charmed, a TV series that ran on The WB for eight seasons from 1998 through 2006. The story followed three sisters (and a mysterious fourth sister who conveniently appeared after the third season, when they decided to kill off Shannen Doherty because Alyssa Milano didn’t like her) who discover that they are actually witches and fight to protect the planet from the forces of evil.
What you may not know is that in 2018, The CW decided to revive the series… and make it feminist. Because apparently it wasn’t already. The series began airing just weeks after the Kavanaugh hearings (this will feel very relevant after you read the first episode recap) and has brought with it weekly doses of wokeness so potent that almost immediately I began to wonder: Was this written by a real feminist, or somebody parodying feminists?
I invite you to come with me on a journey reviewing the first season of Woke Charmed. Together, we may be able to read between the lines and discover the true intentions of this feminist masterpiece. Is it truly woke, or all an elaborate hoax? Starting tomorrow, I’ll be posting weekly recaps of the series. Right now we’re pretty far behind — there are just four episodes left in the first season — but the idea is that someday we will eventually catch up and then you can find recaps shortly after the episodes air.
In the meantime, here’s a quick introduction to the characters you will be encountering:
Macy Vaughn: The eldest sister who also serves the function of Rose McGowan’s character in the original series, who replaced Shannen Doherty — a prodigal sister that the others didn’t know existed until she suddenly turned up. Macy is a Scientist™ who does unspecified research in the Generic Science Lab at the local college campus. She is logical, a superhuman genius, and practically perfect in every way.
Melanie “Mel” Vera: The middle sister who thought she was the oldest sister until Macy showed up. Typical bitchy Latina lesbian in the grand tradition of America Chavez. Stubborn, abrasive, a proud Nasty Woman™. Nobody likes her, but nevertheless, she persists. Her girlfriend is a detective with Hilltowne* PD, which combined with her bitchiness means that she’s probably supposed to be the Shannen Doherty analogue.
Maggie Vera: The slutty youngest sister. Wants to be popular. Is rushing a sorority whose president is the cheap Regina George knockoff. Her defining quality seems to be being a dumb bimbo. Probably supposed to be the Alyssa Milano analogue, except Alyssa Milano’s character also had some of the SJW characteristics of Mel… and a relatively higher IQ.
No love for Holly Marie Combs?
*Unlike the original series, which took place in San Francisco, Woke Charmed is set in a small town whose only defining characteristics seem to be charming old-fashioned neighborhoods and an unnamed liberal arts college. The town is generically named Hilltowne, which my sister suggested may have stemmed from San Francisco is so hilly or something.
Bear in mind that I have not seen all of the original series; in fact, I only have seen a few episodes of the first season. I keep meaning to watch it on Netflix, but I keep forgetting after just a few episodes. This isn’t a commentary on the show’s quality — I’ve actually enjoyed what I’ve seen so far, I’m just really bad at keeping up with TV shows. But I’m hoping that the commitment to writing these recaps will force me to actually watch all the Woke Charmed episodes, and that may entice me to watch the rest of the original series, since even after watching only a few episodes I could tell that the original was much, much better. For those of you who have seen the original show, feel free to chip in with your thoughts on how Woke Charmed stacks up!
I think that’s all you need to know for now — I hope you’re all prepared for the folly that awaits you tomorrow, mwa-ha-ha.
Comments
285 responses to “Welcome to Woke Charmed”
Sounds like chick- vision. Also, first!
Whars mah gif?
Was MLW given the gift of the GIF?
If I was, I’m not aware of it. ? I also completely forgot that today was Monday so I’m not seeing this until hours later, whoops.
I have lots of love for Holly Marie Combs.
Well…I did, in the early episodes.
She was cute.
Would Shannon Doherty, and her replacement, albeit with less enthusiasm.
To be a little more on topic. charmed was already feminist, also, and they supposed to bee sisters still?
Oh, they still could be, in one of them there unconventional families.
Something something sibling porn?
I believe there was a link today?
Go on. ..
Yeah, the two Veras are full sisters and didn’t realize they had an older half sister because I guess their mom must have divorced her dad before she got with their dad and… idk. I’m assuming it gets explained at some point, but I haven’t gotten that far yet.
Maybe that’s where Alyssa Milano got brainwashed. (I had no idea she was on Charmed.)
Well, it certainly wasn’t Tony Danza’s fault.
…I hope.
Ewww. Have you seen what he looks like lately?
Way to ruin Alyssa Milano for me.
Have you seen what she looks like without her make-up on?
Hmmm, no. Pics?
Me either…I”m just making unwarranted assumptions. The ugly nonsense she spews just makes me assume she’s ugly without the “help”.
She’s been beautiful all her life. The only real “help” she got was getting her boobs done, but it was such a great job I had no idea they were fake until I read about it years later.
No, you’re right. She’s a natural beauty. I’ve been smitten since we were both 12 years old. It’s just that her fairly recent activism has really poisoned me against her.
re: the boob job. You didn’t question her suddenly going up a few cup sizes?
It wasn’t that much of an increase. She already had boobs.
http://www.tv.com/shows/whos-the-boss/samanthas-growing-up-7784/
Way to ruin Alyssa Milano for me.
Have you seen what she says on the tweeter?
She way past roo’nt.
White hot TDS.
LALALALA CAN’T HEAR YOU!!!! LALALALA
Bobarian is right. If you want to maintain your lust affair, don’t ever read her tweets.
I don’t know her from anywhere else. I was a pubescent boy when the show was on. I liked it, a lot. That’s my excuse for all my comments here.
Imagine being the same age as her and growing up watching her on TV go through puberty “with” you. Uffda
Honestly sounds unbearable.
She’s 3 years younger than me. I suppose I could have gone through puberty with her on Who’s the Boss but alas… gay. I got Danny Pintauro instead 🙁
What about Mike Seaver?
I was more into Boner.
Haha. Excellent.
The spousal unit and I watched the original Charmed off-and-on for a few seasons, but gave up well before the end of its run. I do agree, though, that it was a reasonably high quality offering. Also, Holly Marie Coombs. :-p
I have not watched Woke Charmed at all, nor do I intend to. It sounds boring and tendentious. I ascribe this to my fast-approaching induction into the Halls Of Get Off My Lawn!
“Also, Holly Marie Coombs. :-p”
Who?
Yes. Exactly.
The oldest daughter on Pickett Fences?
The internet has lots of pics of her head on someone else’s body.
Brb…
Honestly–HMC hasn’t been in the news for TDS/Woke/MeToo shit. Well, not that I’ve seen.
That in and of itself ought to make her much more…desirable, out of all the Charmed womyn.
The town is generically named Hilltowne, which my sister suggested may have stemmed from San Francisco is so hilly or something.
I would have guessed it was named after Slick Hillary.
That’s ripe for an SF take.
“YOU WANT SLICK HILLARY??!?!? I’LL SHOW YOU SLICK HILLARY!!!” she caterwauled in a supernaturally multitonal voice. She continued rubbing her smoking nether region until a stream of black tar shot out and splayed in various directions across the observation room floor, anchoring inky black strands to every surface. Then, like a Peter Parker parody porno, she tore the armored door off its hinges with a Jacksonesque pelvic thrust. Her thighs hinged outwards in an arachnoidal gait as she scurried out the gaping chasm, trails of black bile dragging behind.
Now do Agile Cyborg !
Agile is (was?) more like
Hillary is just a facade for the light of Omicron Centuri. Her eyes are filled with the dark sunbeams of a long dead star, and her nipples shoot the milk of a new celestial playground. Hiding in the black hole she perceives, spanning, spanning. Her aged twat shooting moonbeams to guide the galactic juice of love to her fertile womb.
That was not bad, but I still only had to read it once to get it.
Cold meds only get you so far down that path
NEEDS MOAR PROFANITY!
That was almost worthy of Agile Cyborg, but yours makes more sense.
Needs more Huma to huma-nize it.
Also, you need to address the multi-purpose, prehensile pseudo-penis/cloaca
There are some things better left to the original.
*barf*
Oh Lord Jesus
I never saw the original but this project looks like it will be fun 🙂
Maybe she could get federal funding to write a study.
I have seen a good deal of the original, but I also am looking forward to hearing how this shapes up.
I have been blessed to have never heard of the show nor any of the participants. Hoping someone, anyone , to go OT about some heavy metal playing craft beer drinking Florida cross dressing gender unassigned individual that likes deep dish. Is that too much to ask?
The original was good, but only if you like cute women.
I can’t wait to get on your lawn so you can tell me to get off!
So we’re not doing phrasing tonight ?
I’m bringing Tator Tot hotdish and he’s gonna give me some honey!
Someone needs to talk Pop-pop off. I ain’t volunteerin’, either.
Is that an onion on your belt?
(I never heard of it nor know who any of those people are, either)
That was the worst porn ever.
I’m glad to see MLW return to submitting content and this project looks like it will be a bunch of fun! Let the Awokening begin!
I used to wonder why people killed witches a few centuries ago. All the woke chicks and feminists have really helped me understand.
You should watch Stan against evil. Good show.
So witches were just really annoying….
I get it now.
I would say it goes much deeper than that. In a society barely subsisting and facing for true threats to their existence, they could not afford the kind of distraction and divisiveness that these kinds of people bring. (Also could not afford to jail and rehabilitate serious criminals) So they were either cast out or killed.
Wait till they remake Supernatural with a couple of betas.
My gf would shoot the tv. And my neighbors would be mad.
My sister watched the original, I was more of a Buffy fan myself. I just know a lot of bands appeared on Charmed.
megadittoes
Buffy was a more balanced show. Charmed was some chick thing I had zero interest in.
No love for Xena ?
Mmmm… Gabrielle…
Saw it a couple times. Not really my thing.
Lucy Lawless is so my type.
Spartucus has lots of Lucy.
Well, it was Crixus who had lots of Lucy.
I mean….wooof!
I wonder how
harddifficult it was for Rob Tapert to watch that stuff get filmed. ‘Cause it was caliente.And around the same time….Farscape.
Virginia Hey Hey Heyoooooo
Loved Farscape!
Wished they finished it better.
Kudos to GotGII for the nod.
Bonnie “The Devil” Hammer will burn for her sacrilegious treatment of the original SF originals!
Very disappointing.
Another BU alum. Just say’n.
Not Chiana or Aeyrn Sun? Hm.
Aeryn was my favorite – those angular looks get me every time.
But when it comes to nude with bodypaint…..Zhaan really had it going on – and on and on.
Huh. Shes not bad looking, but the no hair thing always puts me off.
All good points. In addition to those two, Scorpius’ red haired girlfriend (I can’t remember the character’s name) was a hottie.
Sikozou?
Yes.
Gigi Edgely isn’t exactly a smokeshow in real life.
And then they put her in zombieface makeup and bound her breasts.
And somehow, she projeced Hhhhhhhawt on a massive scale.
Mad props for Gigi’s physicality.
I know all about Charmed. I come here to get away from that shit. And Sister Wives and Married at First Sight and The Bacholer and The Magicians although at that last one has some hotties.
Are you saying charmed doesn’t have hotties? Cause then are fighting words.
Look we can work this out. You can have the Charmed girls and I’ll take Summer
https://i.ebayimg.com/images/g/8H0AAOSwAYJZfeCL/s-l300.jpg
and the blond with the rack from The Magicians.
Is that a pirate?
Kinky.
Oh definitely would.
Is that still on?? I enjoyed season 1, then lost all interest.
Yeah, that’s cause it’s stupid.
Hey, I’m a Hoarders fan.
I wasn’t fond of Charmed the first time around, or Roswell, either. I watched a few episodes of Buffy, which was all right. Mostly I had a second job during those years.
Pffft. I had a third job mid to late 90s.
?
I always got a retail evening job in the winter to deal with my winter-time depression.
I used to sell This End Up furniture early 90s. Fun times.
You worked retail to deal with depression? By substituting white-hot fury?
I had a stint at Michael’s framing pictures, so I didn’t have to deal with as much of the public. Also worked in Walmart’s fabric department when they had one. It’s different when people need to ask advice and they’re willing to listen.
Oh, yeah, those would be different. I knew a girl in college who worked at a framing shop and it was a much, much different experience than, say, Borders or something. I did a stint at a local hardware chain for a minute where they even found a way to make watering the plants stressful.
I could probably enjoy working part-time at a small bookstore or a menswear store.
Sometimes I think I would like to do freelance web development (once I finish studying that) and work at one of those places for ~20 hours a week just for some stable income and to get out of the house.
My wife likes Hoarders as well. They need to stop torturing those poor people!
Torturing? I know it’s reality tv but I think they are really helping. A lot of those people need a solid slap to the head to wake them up.
They drag shit out too long. They already know they’re going to take the gross shit so why argue for 10 minutes about each little disgusting item with them. God damn this auto correct on my phone’s sucks!!!
It’s because most of them have a mental problem that causes them to argue over every little thing.
“I had plans for that rock!”
—direct quote
For me, that show is a constant exercise in whose NAP overrides whose. Also, it makes me feel better about my child-cluttered house.
I do have objections with the way The Man walks all over those poor people.
Sometimes I do too, but when your rat problem spills over to your neighbors, and they don’t have any power to make their situation better, what are they to do? That’s when I have trouble sifting out NAP.
Yeah, dirty hoards are the worst. But a lot of the situations are just, “your neighbors don’t like the 75 vehicles parked in your back yard”. And?
Thinking about reviewing Woke Roswell when this goes on season break, but I’m not actually sure how Woke it is.
Oh yes, I just saw yesterday’s open post where someone said it’s got ICE and Muslims in it, I’m totally doing it.
Anyone seen Lachowski lately?
How about Doom? Anyone heard from him, yet?
Lach was here yesterday, I believe. Doom was last in San Marcos? with some serious financial difficulties. Hope he got that worked out satisfactorily.
No, but I did listen to Tool lately.
The jackass who wants to nuke America just put up his first campaign vid – the ratio is glorious! https://twitter.com/rpyers/status/1115392919387627520
Do your part!
That was painfully stupid.
I hope he chokes to death on a bag of dicks.
“I spend too much time on facetime… blah blah” okay, so go home. Asshole.
He’s getting savaged in the comments and downvotes. Friggin’ hilarious. Betting they just delete the entire thing and repost it tomorrow with comments disabled. And of course it’s all being captured live.
The internet is forever.
Thank god for shitposters.
Apparently, Beto is a furry.
He’s only got 76 subscribers and he thinks he can be President?
Somehow this hotel doesn’t have a bench in their ‘gym’.
2 treadmills, an elliptical and bike, but no bench… wtf mate?
That was some grade A Gilmoreing… lets try again?
That was some fine work. You should be proud.
So…he’s running for president…of America?
Good ol Duke nukem
Ready for David Puddy.
I just want to go on record as saying that I really appreciate MLW taking one for the team here. I can’t hate-watch things and I pop smoke as soon as it starts to get annoying or boring, which means I lose out on a lot of really good shit-talking.
We do have a lot of folks with a high tolerance for BS. I can’t read half the links some people post.
Honestly–Rhy proves once again why he’s a role model.
Seriously, I can’t even with so many of the posts (not a complaint!), and just try to suss it out by the comments here.
I’m the same way. I generally don’t even bother with links to DU or HuffPo or NYT editorials, et. al. because I know it’ll just piss me off. I appreciate the people here who can go there with a level head and report back.
Yep. I stopped clicking most links. Twitter especially. Fuck that cesspool.
Never do twatter linx. Pure fucking cancer.
And this is how you still maintain a crush on Alyssa.
Exactly why it is such a good idea. She’s still my pure angel.
Relevant.
This is more relevant surely?
DAMMIT! I knew something was slightly off.
Both excellent, but yes, Lack’. Very much more relevant.
Ehh, I’ll allow it.
Dude, Twitter is my nemesis. It combines my “someone on the Internet is wrong!” bit with crushing despair to see such concentrated fuckery.
I give in to the despair and close the window without commenting. It’s the only way to stay mildly sane.
Facebook is the worst. I’m seeing friends who were once reasonable people cave to things like universal health care and gun control. It seems to be coming from friends who married lefty women.
Yes, I find Facebook more cancerous than Twitter.
I have a Facebook account. The ONLY reason I have it is to follow small, local businesses that refuse to create a proper webpage and use Facebook instead. I literally have zero Facebook friends. Anyone who friend requests me gets ignored.
If Texas tech wins tonight crowing me champion of the Glibs bracket challenge, I just want you all to know everyone here is a winner to me.
Crowning* damn phone
Oh, you’ll be crowing. Or eating crow.
Somehow this hotel doesn’t have a bench in their ‘gym’.
2 treadmills, an elliptical and bike, but no bench… wtf mate?
You can’t just sit in a chair? Or on the floor?
The floor looked nasty. :/
Ended up doing what I could standing and pushups in my room instead of bench presses.
5 guns to scare your daughter’s boyfriend.
https://youtu.be/MfnJJVf_EgE
When my daughter brings home a boy for the first time. I hope he knows more about the gun than I do.
People think to shallow about this subject. You need more than just a gun to show you’ve thought it out in detail. Don’t forget to have – out in plain sight – a folded blue tarp, roll of duct tape, a few large knives, bone saw, shovel, flashlight…
“Stephen Miller is a white nationalist. The fact that he still has influence on policy and political appointments is an outrage.”
https://twitter.com/IlhanMN/status/1115352166179508224
Is she calling him that because she hates jews, or doesn’t know he’s jewish?
Good lord. I don’t how you do it, Count.
Doesn’t matter, he’s not muslim.
“White Nationalist!” This gets thrown around a lot but I’ don’t think I’ve ever seen it used other than as an unsupported assertion.
I’ve never seen anyone quoted as saying “White people are the bestest and everyone else should leave.” Those types have always been around, but only at the margins.
But then, I’m hard of hearing – I can barely hear dogs nevermind dog whistles.
“Who Commits Most of the World’s Extremist Violence?
Evil as they are, white supremacists aren’t even close to the top of the list.
Last week, the New York Times featured an illustrated timeline of “white extremist” killings over the last nine years, with lines demonstrating citation and affiliation among the killers. According to the Times, the record shows “an informal global network of white extremists whose violent attacks are occurring with greater frequency in the West.”
The idea that white supremacist violence is a growing global threat has gained more currency recently, notably in the wake of the ghastly Christchurch mosque massacre, when an avowed white nationalist murdered 50 Muslims. New York congresswoman Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez, for instance, asserted that “White supremacists committed the largest # of extremist killings in 2017.” No one will deny that racial hatred is an evil ideology, and that people who kill in the name of white supremacy commit evil—but are the New York Times and Ocasio-Cortez correct that “white extremists” are increasingly sowing worldwide mayhem?
The evidence suggests otherwise. Even a superficial glance at the record indicates that of the nearly 20,000 people killed in thousands of extremist killings in 2017, white supremacists were responsible for very few. The worst terrorist event of 2017, according to the State Department, was the explosion of a truck bomb outside the Safari Hotel in Mogadishu, Somalia, which killed more than 580 people. This violent act is believed to have been the work of Al-Shabaab, which was responsible for 97 percent of the 370 instances of extremist killings in Somalia in 2017, accounting for about 1,400 deaths—mostly civilian. The remaining violent acts were carried out by Jabha East Africa (ISIS-Somalia), a dissident Al-Shabaab splinter group.”
https://www.city-journal.org/global-extremeist-violence
That’s not an untrue statement by itself, but it’s funny they never mention his stated love (in the same document) for the Communist Chinese government.
“An avowed eco-fascist…”
I don’t think we will see that mentioned very much.
It would require some nuance to report that. So you’re right.
Stop it with your facts. LA LA LA LA.
/AOC
Which one of you did this?
https://pbs.twimg.com/media/D3ld5MAU8AEPOVC.jpg:large
It’d have to be HM, if any of us, though I don’t think it was him.
HM is more with the “I fucked your sister, bitch” vibe and less with the “mommy is taking away my 3ds” vibe.
I cant un-see the fish thing he posted
Wow. Ben is one sick fuck.
Speaking of mythical libertarian women, Liberty Doll.
Damn, I wish I was 20 years younger. And better looking. And had a career that compensated me highly.
Your nickname is tripod. Send her a pic.
Yeah!
There goes that joke.
https://photobucket.com/gallery/user/commercialsf/media/bWVkaWFJZDoxMDQzNzEwMA==/?ref=
Jokes on me. I watched the video to the end.
Liberty Doll? Watching that shouldn’t be punishing.
Go big. Be bold. Do good.
Swalwell is quite the specimen. It’s like The Fly, but instead of Jeff Goldblum and a winged insect the teleporter machine mashed up a gender studies major with a meat headed high school jock.
Dammit. This was supposed to be a reply to LT Fish’s post up a ways. What’s the opposite of Gilmore’d? Can I stake my flag on it?
Brooksed it. But I like your observation.
So, I see Wednesday WILL be a Hat’n’Hair double feature! Huzzah!
This would be a good time to plug your Patreon account.
And merch store.
We’re allowed to link again? I thought that’s not allowed.
cafepress.com/cprm it’s not that hard to remember
Buy blanket that is sure to impress the ladies.
This one?
There’s strangely nothing about this on any of the major local news sites, but Pritzker is apparently promoting a bill that will allow gender reassignment surgery to be covered by Illinois Medicaid.
https://wqad.com/2019/04/07/pritzker-changes-states-medicaid-policy-to-cover-sex-reassignment-surgery/
I’ll bet you’re all jealous of how much cash my state has.
Including on kids?
In a sane world I’d laugh heartily at your insinuation, but the near total news blackout about this has me wondering.
I take that back somewhat. Crain’s actually has a little blurb about it.
https://www.chicagobusiness.com/health-pulse/illinois-medicaid-cover-gender-surgeries-troubled-medicare-plan-be-acquired-rooftop
I wish I had a nickel for every time this guy has claimed this without providing any supporting evidence.
Sorry you can’t get that lung transplant, there’s an arm-penis that needs building.
You’re just jealous because
hisherarmpenis is bigger than yours!Ffft, I don’t think that’s possible.
Oh My!
Oh my.
Um…
LOL
Forward the top link to Sugarfree.
I’ll come out and be honest, right now I’m on Wisconsin’s medicare because I got sick of the market being distorted to everyone else’s benefit and not mine, I have one pill that because of all this bullshit is $130 a month. You know how much I have to pay on medicaid? $1. That’s why people without insurance are getting fucked in the ass. I alone can’t fix this, so I might as well go along, but it makes me feel like a fucking douche, sadly it seems no one else has these qualms.
medicaid, not medicare, and it’s even fucking scarier those are words spell check recognizes.
Jeeze, when you put it like that it almost seems like the whole motive behind Obamacare was to “nudge” people off of private insurance and onto state run programs.
I went without any insurance for almost a decade, anything but catastrophic isn’t actual insurance and distorts the market, but I just couldn’t afford to be the lone one paying the sticker price jacked up by all the ‘insurance’ price points.
And, Wisconsin didn’t take the medicaid expansion, they were doing it years before and Walker got to make a ‘stand’ on ‘conservative’ grounds for re-election. Fuck everybody.
I think Solzhenitsyn or someone like that made an observation about the many compromises ordinary life forces one to make that turns one into junior accomplice, and then uses that to bully into acquiescence.
The Maoists knew that, too.
Money quote, “Money for the expanded coverage will come from state and federal funds, though the governor’s office hasn’t said what the change will cost.” Because when your bond rating is junk, money is no object.
They still have checks.
That does seem to be the reasoning.
Low sodium saltines is what I expect it’s like to climb onto a trampoline only it sags down to the ground beneath you.
Now you understand my childhood…
‘Low sodium saltines’
Wait, those are a thing? Who would want those? Last thing I need are pointless, tasteless crackers. I could get granola if I wanted that crap. I salt my olives, dammit. I’ve had 2 cans of peanuts around for a while because I can’t be bothered to break out my salt shaker.
Do we have to start getting rock salt and grind it up ourselves and just spread it on all cooking implements?
Nobody needs
41 kinds of salt!I noted yesterday that anything in a box or a can has been severely de-salted in recent years. It’s getting ridiculous.
Second. Sodium chloride is necessary for life.
And taste. Especially taste.
BUT PEOPLE ARE EATING MORE SALT THAN THE GOVERNMENT WANTS!!!!!
On a serious note, in what for my family was two generations, we went from ‘people aren’t getting enough iodine, lets make them ad it salt to people are eating too much salt, lets remove all the salt!’ Gotta love central planning…
Yep.
I never understood the iodine thing – I’ve been grinding my own salt lately exactly like BP described and none of that has iodine, as loudly touted on the packages. So if it’s so goddamn necessary, why isn’t it in there?!
If you don’t want thyroid cancer from Fukushima, better get your iodine.
I buy them because I think I’m a SUPERTASTER and sometimes things taste very salty for me. Also, I usually eat them with soup, which contains enough sodium for both.
I just saw a figure earlier that showed something like only 17% of Americans believe they got a tax cut this year. I know that the media deserves quite a bit of blame for spreading disinformation about the tax cuts, but HOLY SHIT, DO PEOPLE NOT LOOK AT THEIR FUCKING PAY STUBS LIKE EVER??? How impenetrably dense do you have to be to not know your taxes went down? Were you just thinking that your boss just gave you a stealth raise this whole time?
I muhstah worked a lot more hours…
Related
https://twitchy.com/jacobb-38/2019/04/08/was-that-out-loud-congrats-to-matt-yglesias-who-just-admitted-in-one-tweet-how-progressives-lie-about-trumps-tax-cuts/
Geez, Matt. We can hear you. Does he think there’s a *whisper* function on Twitter?
Doesn’t matter. This will all get airbrushed away and the narrative will continue.
I ‘poke’ MLW on the twitters and she shows up, looks like I am that headless husband…
Was this written by a real feminist, or somebody parodying feminists?
Tough call, but the key is: Parodies of feminism don’t evoke thoughts like, “Not saying we should, however like would be easier is someone killed all the men.”
Did you get into the a DEA drug stash?
One typo doesn’t make me a junkie! *life* not *like*.
No, but all the drugs you does.
No link and you Brooksed it. CPRM is right.
The quote I included is from MLW’s article, so totes not Brooks. Lack of link? Sorry,
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=Im_4Mb2TFIg
Alright. I’ll award you a Mel Brooks instead.
That link was the worst Japanese lesbian porn YouTube has to offer. Try this. It at least has some smiling.
https://youtu.be/6No1qF3xRtk
Woah. Nice. Interesting how Japanese chicks often look hot in profile, but not directly from behind.
If this and everyone having their own devices were a thing when I was 13, there would have been a lot less embarrassing moments regarding ‘the family computer’
I thought all the angles were good.
Last one before I knock out for the night:
https://www.nytimes.com/2019/02/22/books/review/michael-tomasky-if-we-can-keep-it.html
I forgot Michael Tomasky existed, and I was better for it. Here’s a fun game – count the weasel words in that book review, and feel free to use your fingers and toes if you must.
So, now we’re a republic and not a democracy? But we should enact national first to the post popular vote?
NYT;DR
#MeToo
*applause* That needs to become a thing.
The paywall helps.
OT: Rhywun, didn’t see your post last about the criminal lack of sodium in today’s food – and I wouldn’t steal the wind from your sails.
But it’s like a lot of things – other people deciding what’s “right” for you, without your assent.
I suspect that if there was a machine that could remove all the CO2 out of the air, more than 50% of people would approve of its use. That this would result in the eradication of life on Earth, notwithstanding. It’d be “for the environment.”
Oh, it would not only be ‘a thing’ but there would be movies grandstanding about it, before we all die.
‘An Inconvenient Cough’
Maddening, isn’t it? At least we can still buy salt – for now.
If you want to buy non-iodized salt you’re only allowed allowed to buy ‘Kosher’ salt, that is offensive to Hillal and must be ended!
Damn. Graveyard Glibs. Only three more glasses of colon blow to go.
Colon blow?
That’s when you snort coke off a hooker’s ass.
Naw, check here.
Yikes!
I’m not sure I’d want to use toilet paper after that, let alone have a scope shoved up my posterior.
So you are reading on the toilet?
Jump in, refresh, read, head to the shitter. I will say that this is way better than some of my earlier adventures. I didn’t mimic Mt. Vesuvius this time.
Sorry Spud. I’m supposed to get a colonoscopy but haven’t found thectimecto do what you are doing.
Sir Digby should have been here by now. There are less than 300 comments.
He’s been late, maybe he’s pregnant?!
I hadn’t considered that.
You never know anymore, chicks can have dicks, maybe a Sir Digby can be pregnant, I don’t judge (Ok, I do, but silently)
SEE!!! I fuckin’ knew it!!
Judge. My name…
Weellll….let’s not.
No, the wife streams vidya games, and I try to be around to support the stream and raise viewer count. Plus I gotta life outside of this that has to be dealt with, lest I forget shit.
Time for my late night lethargic sob story. As far as love goes, I’ve only ever known that once. I fell in love with her when I was 13, I can always feel when she enters a room, I’m never had this same feeling with any woman. I never dated her, I’m a planner and I was planning, and then a grown-up got involved and made it all awkward…She was made fun of for the next 5 years because everyone knew I liked her, and even worse on my end. Fastforward to today, she was at a local ice cream shop with her kids. That same nervousness crept into me before I ever saw she was there. I’m happy she has a husband and kids. She is still my vision of perfection. Something I’ll never attain, and I’m old and balding. Fun times…beer.
I do have an ex-stripper lady friend that always tells me how ugly this woman is (ex-stripper married a guy with the same name as me and a bunch of other odd things, too much baggage for me)
There was this fish in the ocean that I saw from my sailboat. I wanted to shove it up my bum and leave it there forever. But it swam away before I could get my net. Other fish swam by my boat over the years. Not a one of them would have been the perfect fit that the one that got away would have been.
I seriously thought the first response would be to the exstipper self reply.
Dude, take a girl on date. She doesn’t need to be hawt or even more than “meh”. Get in the game.
I’m more concerned with finding someone interesting. I don’t care to be around people I find un-interesting, that’s what family is for.
What Straff said. You don’t know what you’ll find until you do a little exploring. That’s a metaphor, not a euphemism.
Meh, last time I went exploring I got a story from a lesbian bartender’s girlfriend about how she had to get her vagina cut to have a baby, time before that I got jacked in an ally. Good luck and me don’t go well together. Enjoy the Wednesday double feature.
“I got jacked in an ally.”
These euphemisms!
Here’s my conundrum – It seems like the vast majority of women around me have the life plan of sleeping around as much as possible, then finding some well-off guy to settle down with when their looks start to fade. So that leaves me with two options:
1) Women who are not interested in anything long-term and probably wouldn’t be faithful anyway,
2) Women who already have a few kids from different dads and maybe a disease or two.
It seems like the only exceptions to this lifestyle are deeply religious women, who always break things off as soon as it starts to get serious because I’m not religious myself. It’s not that I have a problem with a girl who is religious per se, but they invariably have a problem with me, and that itself is a problem. I’m not going to invest myself in a relationship if she’s just going to have a crisis of conscience and give me the talk that starts with “listen, you’re a great guy, but…”
Travel more and find one to import. Never having been close to the mainstream American culture I could never imagine having a relationship with the usual American female.
Sir Digby is here/I sleep now. I know Nothing!
Geez, you’re gonna give me a complex with all this leaving as soon as I show up…
Never mind that shit-here comes a question!
So, “Latinx”….How is that word pronounced? Seriously. I just heard someone say it a way that I would never have imagined, and I want glibs to weight in on this.
I pronounce it by pretending I didn’t see it and jump to the next post. If somebody tries to explain to me what it means I will ignore that too.
Meaning is bupkis to me. I’m just wanting to know how off I’ve been (if, at all).
Otherwise, I tend to have the same aversion to it.
I have heard some people say Latin-ex, but recently I’ve been hearing it as Latinx-rhymes-with-minx
Yeah, the 2nd one. I mean…if they wanted it to be pronounced ‘Latin X’, why don’t they hyphenate it? The fuck are they thinking? I don’t pronounce ‘Publix’ as ‘Publee Ex’.
Now, they’re just fuckin’ with us. That has to be it.
They don’t think about that sort of crap.
The people who invented the term have a problem with the fact that spanish has gendered nouns and that got carried into English as Latino and Latina, describing two exclusive and mutually all-encompassing categories for people from Latin america while being an affront to so many layers of their intersectional orthodoxy.
Anyone who does not properly end the term with a vowel is not worth listening to.
La-Tinks?
“argle-bargle”
To quote me from earlier:
“Hello. What is your name? Sebastian? Cool name, I like that name. Where are you from? Guatemala? I am glad to meet you Sebastian…from Guatemala.”
That is how I have always pronounced it.