Monday Afternoon Hasty Links

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Brett just might have been carried off by a face eating bath saltzer. We can’t be sure. So I am throwing a few hasty links out, to keep the chance of mob action/rioting low…

  • Ur doin it rong.
  • “I’ve talked to Abe….nice name, like Lincoln!”
  • go on.

Imma go call the FL State coppers, maybe there is a report or somesuch.

P.S. Muscle in middle of right shoulder blade got a nice bunch lidocaine shot into it…I have a small mound of steroids to take and a muscle relaxant for nighttime. I should be less ready to cowbutt the lot of ye. But don’t push it…

Comments

294 responses to “Monday Afternoon Hasty Links”

  1. Private Chipperbot

    Covering em up with your arms is not topless. I am firm on that.

    1. Nips or GTFO!

    2. A Leap at the Wheel

      Given that we are talking about the 2019 model and not the 1994 model, I’m ok with that.

      1. I dunno…she might be our generation’s Raquel Welch.

        1. Chipwooder

          Seriously. Jen 1994. Jen 2019, 25 years later.

          The woman barely ages.

          1. cyto

            J-Lo is pimping her summer tour – during which she will celebrate her 50th. She also still looks amazing – could pass for a little more than half her age.

            I don’t remember there being a bunch of a-list 50 year old hotties running around back in the 70’s. I think they aged out in the early to mid 30’s.

          2. I’m guessing they were significantly less plastic in those days, too.

          3. OneOut

            She might pass on a professional photo shoot but she won’t pass at 6 am guaranteed.

      2. Subwoofer

        She looks a lot better than Lindsay Lohan does at nearly 20 years older, so she’s at least got that going for her.

        1. Wait…I found a good pic of Lindsay!

        2. Chipwooder

          By the time she was 25, Lindsay Lohan looked like a fortysomething trailer park whore.

          1. Count Potato

            Sad 🙁

          2. Pope Jimbo

            Why is that sad? I might have a chance with a celebrity that looks like a trailer park whore. Maybe with enough money, I could even talk her into doubling up on me

    3. Unreconstructed

      Just ‘cuz it’s a hand bra don’t make it not a bra.

  2. Sean

    Wait, Swiss is posting links about boobs?

    1. SDF-7

      Q will go off-topic in 30 minutes with a link about the state of Catalonia, I’m sure.

      1. slumbrew

        Bravo.

      2. Pope Jimbo

        *snort*

      3. Tonio

        [golf clap] for the new guy

      4. DEG

        Excellent.

    2. slumbrew

      The room is spinning.

  3. Count Potato

    “Dena told Daily Star Online: “I have noticed that there are more adult virgins than ever before coming to Sheri’s so that they can lose their virginity to a prostitute and learn the proper ins-and-outs of sex.”

    So misleading headline?

    1. ..in a British Tabloid?!?!?!

  4. Rebel Scum

    Something here is amiss.

    1. And you are agog? Or aghast?

      1. Pope Jimbo

        I think he is accusing you of a Swiss amiss.

        Don’t try to duck the question with clever word play.

        1. *narrows gaze*

        2. mindyourbusiness

          But is it as good as amile?

      2. If someone asks you if you’re agog, you say yes!

        1. But… I was supposed to be Magog.

          1. Can I be aghast at your Magog house?

    2. When I hear that “something is amiss” I assume they are referring to the Circle K.

  5. mexican sharpshooter

    I remember 10 years ago when she did a “topless” photo shoot for Maxim or Stuff or something like that. Is this what it’s like to feel old?

    1. Francisco d’Anconia

      Not even close

      1. mexican sharpshooter

        Excellent. I’m going to binge drink when I get home anyway.

    2. Chipwooder

      She did a nude photo shoot back in the ’90s, for Rolling Stone I think, but it was one of those ones where she’s lying on her stomach and it’s taken at an angle such that you could only see a bit of her butt.

      Still, it was a great picture, as you can see by the fact that I remember it two decades later.

    3. It’s magic.

      That freshly-you-know-whatted look, too.

  6. Tres Cool
    1. Rhywun

      I can’t believe they make a bouncing six. How high do they go??

      Also, “This video is not available.”

      1. Pope Jimbo

        Well if they have a fancy dancing #6, I’m assuming they have a fancy #9 too for when you need to send a super sexy text to your special someone.

      2. How far do they go? Probably 0 to 9. And public domain too!

        Think of “Sesame Street is brought to you today by the number 6 and the letter H”.

  7. Classics IV guitarist JR Cobb dies at 75

    For those who don’t remember, Classics IV

    Cobb would go on to front the Atlanta Rhythm Section and do a remake of “Spooky”.

    1. kinnath

      I am a huge fan of ARS. One of three in the whole country I think.

      1. You’re so into them?

        1. kinnath

          I imagine so.

      2. blackjack

        That’s me, you, and who else?

        1. blackjack

          BTW, here’s the only song for this.
          https://youtu.be/Z9ciZkUhnVQ

          1. kinnath

            Yup. That’s the right stuff.

  8. Tres Cool

    thanks for messing it up for me, Sharpie

    1. mexican sharpshooter

      Sure thing Tres!

  9. pistoffnick

    https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/2019/may/04/justine-damonds-family-awarded-record-us20m-settlement-from-minneapolis

    “The settlement calls for the Ruszczyks to donate $US2m to a Minneapolis foundation aimed at addressing gun violence.”

    You see it was the gun’s fault, not the poorly trained, jittery cop who fired across his partner’s personal space (thus endangering his partner) and killed an innocent bystander.

    GUNZ R BAAD!

    1. slumbrew

      “The settlement calls for the Ruszczyks to donate $US2m to a Minneapolis foundation aimed at addressing gun violence.”

      That’s messed up.

      “Sorry our guy shot your daughter – here’s some money but you have to donate some of that back to some crony foundation here”

      1. Rhywun

        Yeah, what a slap to the face. Disgusting, really.

        1. Pope Jimbo

          I thought that I read something about it being in there as some sort of tax dodge. It wasn’t about this case, but I thought that if the settlement says you *have* to donate so much to charity Y, then the whole contribution could escape paying a lot of taxes.

          If I remember correctly I heard about it when some shyster got a settlement from a university and that was one of the ways he got to move money to his charities.

          So my guess is that the victim’s family had that requirement put in.

          Or I could be talking out of my ass.

          1. Rhywun

            Seems possible now that you mention it. Surprisingly, I don’t know anything about the tax consequences of receiving millions of dollars myself.

          2. OneOut

            O am not a tax lawyer BUT.

            If it it compensation for a loss it is not income of any kind so there should be no tax.

            Probably some windfall tax of which I am not aware though.

          3. Jarflax

            Any portion of the settlement / judgment that is attributable to lost earnings, or other items that would have been taxed is taxed. It can get complex.

  10. The Other Kevin

    If there are millenials willing to travel and pay for the the privilege of just playing video games with a woman, I think I have an idea for a new business.

    1. A Leap at the Wheel

      Last time I checked, Twitch Girls make about 15% more than Cam Girls.

      1. ….wait, wut?

        1. A Leap at the Wheel

          That was just an apples-to-apples comparison of tips, paid subscriptions, and patrion-esque-content.

          Both groups have side hustles. Cam Girls can just straight-up whore themselves. Twitch Girls can get alternative, legitimate revenue streams. Both of these provide more money/hour if the young lady already has an established Cam community, but you can’t do them unless you already have the community.

          Well, you can do the whoring, but you make a boat-load more from a community member than from a rando. Lots safer too.

      2. Subwoofer

        It always shocks me that anyone would pay to watch someone play video games.

        It also shocks me that anyone pays to watch people throw/kick/hit a ball though.

        1. Pope Jimbo

          lol. When I was ranting at Altar Boy #1 about the stupidity of him watching videos of people playing video games (with a bit of ‘Get Off My Lawn’ too), he shut me down pretty good by saying “it isn’t any stupider than watching sports.”

          He has a point there I guess.

          1. Rhywun

            Enh, I watch “Let’s Play” videos for help, not entertainment.

          2. Rasilio

            Yes it is. The difference is the guys I watch play football do things I could never in a million years do.

            watching some guy play a video game, Yeah I can play that video game. Maybe not quite as well as him but close enough that you’d never be able to tell from just watching.

            That said, yeah there are a couple of sports that do fit in there like Bowling and for some people Golf

          3. Jarflax

            he difference is the guys I watch play football do things I could never in a million years do.

            Things like kicking their pregnant girlfriend down flights of stairs? Or being arrested hiding in a car trunk after putting out a hit on their pregnant girlfriend?

  11. A Leap at the Wheel

    Can I go OT now that I talked about a link?

    I need to get an inexpensive GPS device. No set budget, just something that will keep me from being a “Local Man Found In State Park After Three Day Search and Rescue Operation” (or worse, Local BSA Leader…). So not top of the line.

      1. A Leap at the Wheel

        1) I plan on having laminated topo maps etc with me, because I always bring an analog backup for digital stuff.

        2) Possibly due to dyslexia, I can’t orientate. Not for lack of trying. I’ve spent considerable amounts of time in my life trying to develop the skill, and I can’t get it to work.

        1. Tonio

          Wrong-way Corrigan had similar problems.

    1. grrizzly

      BackCountry Navigator PRO app on your phone?

      1. A Leap at the Wheel

        I’m currently playing with Gaia GPS, but I want something with a better battery life and waterproof.

    2. leon

      “Local Man Found In State Park After Three Day Search and Rescue Operation”

      Three days if your lucky. We’ve had a spat of, “remains found of hiker who went missing a year ago”

      1. A Leap at the Wheel

        I carry enough spare calories with me to last more than a long weekend whenever I leave the house. #theJoyOfBeingFat.

    3. slumbrew

      Apparently you can rent a SPOT for $75 for 3 days, $15/day after that.

      That’s pretty cool.

      (probably a totally unhelpful answer)

      1. Tres Cool

        Amazon has em for $149, but the service plan is $199/year

        1. slumbrew

          Yep, which is why I thought the rental option was intriguing.

          I find the idea of those really cool – GPS positioning + satellite data connection = globally-effective panic button.

    4. AlmightyJB

      Download Backcountry Pro App to your phone. If you want an actual GPS unit check out Garmen. Helped me out a few times on back roads of KY and TN. Unfortunately I broke mine doing something stupid.

      1. AlmightyJB

        I had the 30x but this should meet your needs.

        https://www.amazon.com/dp/B00XQE6ZFG/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_apa_i_yPj0CbGQ5TK2W

        1. AlmightyJB

          Just keep in mind detailed maps to download are proprietary and are gonna cost more.

        2. A Leap at the Wheel

          I have the 30x coming in the mail from an unnamed retailer known for being very accommodating on returns.

          And if there is a way to legally put cost-free maps on this device, I’m pretty confident I can figure out how to do it. But if not, I don’t mind paying for value received.

          1. AlmightyJB

            Like you I always have maps with me if getting list is a possibility. So while having topo maps on the device were nice, just having accurate coordinates to bump against the UTM grid on the map was all I really needed.

          2. AlmightyJB

            Pro tip: don’t be lazy and stick it in your back pocket while you traverse down a steep hill with loose rock:)

    5. Francisco d’Anconia

      I have several. All Garmin. I’m assuming you want a full color map. I’ve been Using a Oregon 450 for years. Never had an issue with it. But I’m sure there are many newer versions/models. Looks like the newest models are under $500

      I’ve got two Gekos with no mapping that I leave in my fishing vest to mark boat takeouts. It’ll get you back to your truck, if you don’t mind climbing mountains to do it. Paid < $30 for those, used. Depends on what you want.

      1. Tonio

        ^I like the redundancy of a dedicated GPS unit since phones are at the mercy of their bloatware.

    6. Tonio

      Probably not exactly what you’re looking for, but also consider having one of these particularly if you are a BSA leader.

      The stories I could tell about saving the shit of befuddled scoutmasters when I was random hiker/canoeist/kayaker….

    7. Timeloose

      I recommend downloading the detailed google maps for the area you plan on visiting. You can make them available offline and use as you would paper maps.

  12. Pope Jimbo

    Leap is too modest to brag on his Congresswoman, so I will do it for him.

    Omar may end up winning a Nobel Peace Prize for this tweet

    How many more protesters must be shot, rockets must be fired, and little kids must be killed until the endless cycle of violence ends?

    The status quo of occupation and humanitarian crisis in Gaza is unsustainable. Only real justice can bring about security and lasting peace.

    — Ilhan Omar (@IlhanMN) May 5, 2019

    Surely (((they))) will realize their inhumanity to the poor victims in Gaza when (((they))) read that.

    1. leon

      I know anti-semetisim is her signature issue, but you’d think a handler would have tried to keep her off the topic of Israel.

      1. Tonio

        She has nothing to lose. I’m sure her position also attracts lots of out-of-district donations, seats at fundraising dinners etc. You know, )))them(((.

    2. Suthenboy

      Didn’t the Pali’s just shoot 600+ missiles into Israel? Fuck them. They should thank God every day I am not in charge over there because that is why they are still breathing.

      1. Yep, and they were claiming that some of the dead palestinian civilians were killed by airstrikes when they were actually killed by faulty Hamas rockets.

        1. Tonio

          Doesn’t Hamas use mostly Soviet-era rockets?

          1. No, they ran out of those and assemble their own. They don’t have any guidance to speak of, they just need to “Hit Israel” and “get a lot in the air” to try to overwhelm Iron Dome.

          2. These days I think they’re virtually all Iranian and/or “home-made”. (granted that means a whole different thing these days…Hamas and ISIS have figured out machining and mass production of these things like you wouldn’t believe – 3D printing components, etc).

  13. mexican sharpshooter

    His name, was Robert Paulson.

    1. The Other Kevin

      He might do anything for love, but he shouldn’t do that.

    2. Was Hyperion’s wife watching that on TV?

    3. Francisco d’Anconia

      He looks thinner than he did

  14. Rebel Scum

    “I have noticed that there are more adult virgins than ever before coming to Sheri’s so that they can lose their virginity to a prostitute and learn the proper ins-and-outs of sex.

    Heh…And good for them, better late than never. Also, being taught by professionals is likely an advantage and what a better thing to learn while doing.

    1. Pope Jimbo

      This is what happens when kids grow up constantly supervised. I bet the “Millenial Package” includes a coach to watch over them and tell them exactly what to do at each step. Also I bet they get a participation award at the end of the session whether the professional curled her toes or not.

    2. leon

      Look kid… You aren’t very good at this. Have you thought about becoming a priest?

      1. cyto

        I dunno…. is it really possible to be “not very good at this”? I mean, I have encountered one real narcissist in my life, and she was “not very good at this” after the first couple of attempts (when she was channeling a porn star in an attempt to project an image of hotness). And even she was acceptable when she was interested in being acceptable.

        I mean, all you gotta have is some horny and some empathy and you can probably figure out the rest pretty quickly.

  15. Raston Bot

    Biden has a lock on the nom. this is shaping up to be the most entertaining election in my lifetime.

    http://georgerrmartin.com/notablog/

    Out in the real world, I was pleased that Joe Biden finally announced his candidacy for president. There are a lot of good Democrats running, maybe too many, and I’d probably vote for any one of them over the present blot upon the Oval Office. The main things I want in a nominee, however, are twofold: (1) someone who can beat Trump, and (2) someone who would actually be a good/ great president. Biden qualifies on both counts. Also, the speech he gave announcing his run was kickass… and so, so true.

    1. Subwoofer

      It doesn’t surprise me that GRRM is woke, but in all seriousness, it seems like almost every well known personality is a leftist.

      There’s only a few notable exceptions, e.g. Clint Eastwood, Ted Nugent, and Penn Jillette, but if you put the names of every well known personality in the country into a hat and pulled out 100 of them, you’d probably get 99 leftists.

      Is this actually true and if so, how did it get to that point?

      1. A Leap at the Wheel

        It’s Time For Some Game Theory!

        Actually, its just basic economic theory and sociology.

        Economic theory: More people want into the industry than there are openings. This allows for the incumbents to discriminate.

        Sociological theory: People don’t see themselves as members of racial or ethnic tribes anymore. But we do see ourselves as members of cultural tribes.

        I LIED Game Theory: Weak preferences lead to strong segregation

        Result: The incumbants, having at least a weak preference for working with people they get along with, lead to more drastic cultural homogeneity in their industry. This is true in lots of industries where people are lining up around the block to break in (VFX had this problem until it all went over seas, the Academy has this problem, etc)

        1. Subwoofer

          The thing is that it seems like every major industry has seen this effect. Even entrepreneurship and venture capital, which in theory should be pretty laissez faire, is dominated by cultural leftists.

          How did it come to pervade pretty much every field that produces individuals that attain national prominence? Plumbers, carpenters, electricians, and other trades rarely produce any nationally prominent individuals and tend to slant towards the right. But if your field is ‘scalable’, every major personality in your craft is likely a leftist

          1. A Leap at the Wheel

            Those jobs you are talking about, the ones that require a college degree. Do you think the people dominating them are more, less, or about in line with the level of progressives graduating from college?

            if (making up numbers) 75% of the folks graduating from college are likely to be weakly progressive, then 75% of the people “dominating” an industry are progressive.

            College, among other things, selects for people with weak attachments to their birth location. Conservatives, generally, have a very strong attachment to their birth location. They stick around where their family is, while the progressives move to college. Then, when they are done with college, they go to the labor market that pays the most and is a cultural fit for them AKA cities.

            Cities are, currently, economic powerhouses and rural areas aren’t.

          2. Subwoofer

            The whole ‘attachment to birth location’ thing throws me. I’m decidedly not a prog, and I have zero attachment to my birth location. Hell I haven’t been to my birth state in nearly 20 years. I left the state I grew up in as soon as I could GTFO and was hell bent on never moving back there to the point that when I needed to move back to that region I moved to the state next door. So that connection doesn’t enter my mind.

            But yeah, the college connection makes a lot more logical sense to me. Colleges are prog indoctrination camps, and scalable industries usually require a college degree. Entrepreneurship doesn’t require a college degree, but if you aren’t a prog you won’t get funding and have to bootstrap, so you won’t make headlines and become nationally prominent. And if you are successful you’ll eventually be kicked out of your company Papa Johns style so the progs can take over.

      2. mexican sharpshooter

        Likely due to 85 of those 100 names are either actors, athletes, or people in the media.

      3. Fatty Bolger

        The ones who aren’t mostly learn to keep their mouths shut.

      4. Gadfly

        Is this actually true and if so, how did it get to that point?

        My glib response would be that fantasy work lends itself to fantasy politics. It’s more complicated than that (see the other responses above), but it doesn’t surprise me that if you work all day bringing fiction “to life” you would start to buy into the idea that anything is possible.

      5. wdalasio

        I think what you’re talking about stems from Conquest’s Second Law: Any organization not explicitly right-wing sooner or later becomes left-wing.

        Now, why does that happen? I think it ultimately stems from cultural pressure and relative incentives. The left has an entire class of people fundamentally devoted, as a career, to advancing leftism. And I don’t mean leftists who hold regular jobs and push their leftism in their careers. I mean the NGO field, where the cause and having the government support whatever their cause is how they get paid. And they’re more than happy to flatter someone who achieves success in another field as being smarter, more cultured, and more enlightened than their peers. As long as they support their cause. And eventually, that becomes the cultural norm within their particular community. So, for other successes, there’s a very real peer pressure to at least run counter to the narrative. So, you might be rich. But, if you want to be part of “society”, you’d better toe the lion. And what’s the downside? You’ve got yours. If anything, the bigger state gives you a leg up on some upstart.

        At least, that’s what I suspect goes on.

        1. Rhywun

          They’ve been playing the long game. And obviously, winning it.

          1. Winston

            Long March…

            Meanwhile libertarians are busy babbling about the Moment or waxing nostalgically about the 1960s or the 19th Century.

          2. Subwoofer

            The problem with the NAP is it allows progs to come in, take over, and destroy from within.

            The only recourse liberty-minded folks have is basically to run away and start anew.

            But then the progs will eventually come in, take over, and destroy from within.

            If liberty minded folks run out of space to run away and start anew to, the progs will eventually win. Unfortunately, they’ll then have destroyed everything.

            Its a conundrum humanity will have to resolve if we’re to prevent our extinction.

          3. Winston

            My your an optimist…

            And immigration….

          4. Winston

            Goddammit: “You’re an optimist”

          5. Subwoofer

            I am actually and think we will resolve the conundrum, but I’m also a realist and as such I cannot deny the issue exists

        2. creech

          This was true back when the insults were that you were “selfish” or “against equality” if you didn’t support the leftist agenda. Now, add in
          “racist” and “white supremacist” and one can see why you might want to keep your mouth shut or be shunned.

          1. wdalasio

            I think the change in insults is just reflective of a more advanced stage of the process. They have enough control over the cultural sphere that they can push it relatively cheaply. But, when you have that much control over the cultural sphere, the easy work is done. The remaining targets are the people who don’t value your approval as much as some other goal (e.g. principles, religion). So, in addition to it being cheap, it’s necessary.

          2. cyto

            They’ve used “racist” for at least 45 years.

            “reactionary” used to be in there… but that one died.

        3. Subwoofer

          When I eventually make my billions, I feel a need to cultivate a libertarian nomenklatura to counter the progressive stranglehold on pop culture.

    2. leon

      “. Also, the speech he gave announcing his run was kickass… and so, so true”

      This is why we can’t have nice things

    3. Rhywun

      “(2) is optional”

    4. Tonio

      That’s cute that he thinks he gets to chose two. There is only one person who is currently polling to beat Trump in the general.

      1. DrOtto

        Just like Hillary’s polls in 2016. Did they learn nothing?

    5. Suthenboy

      Dude is a fiction writer. Good to see he is staying in his lane.

    6. Rasilio

      Well there are some pretty convincing conspiracy theories that while the methods of the McCarthy commission were bad what they were investigating was spot on and that the SAG was little more than a front for the Communist Party of America which ensured that it was almost impossible for anyone who was not a leftist to find work in Hollywood

  16. leon

    Maybe I’m crazy, but does it seem like AOC has burned out her fifteen min of Fame? Or is e playing ball with pelosi? I haven’t seen much from her lately, which is a shame.i was hoping she would primary all those red state Dems.

    1. slumbrew

      She’s savvy enough to settle down and ride this gravy train for the rest of her life. Can’t do that if she stays too extreme, but just enough to keep her name recognition up a bit.

      She’ll be a permanent fixture in DC.

      1. Sensei

        Modern version of Chuck Schumer. Anytime anything bad happens first thing Chuck did was book on the Sunday morning talk shows and explain how fedgov should fix it.

        1. He still does. And he’s on the fucking local news all the time.

          1. Sensei

            I know it! Why stop doing what is working for him.

            Past favorites include plastic undetectable guns and cop killer bullets.

          2. DrOtto

            +1 Glock 7

          3. Not Adahn

            Don’t forget 4 Loko!

          4. Rhywun

            Yeah, you don’t ever want to get between Moobs and a camera.

          5. Tonio

            ^This.

    2. The Other Kevin

      What Slum said. She’s still got the job, which means we haven’t heard the last of her.

  17. Pope Jimbo

    If Trump really was a genius, he’d exploit this big schism in a key Dem voting bloc

    When Me’Lea Connelly founded a credit union to serve the black community, she realized she had to define what black meant.

    Not refugees from Africa. Not immigrants. African-Americans who descended from slavery.

    “We are very specific about the target beneficiary of our work,” said Connelly, the vision and strategy lead at Village Financial Cooperative in north Minneapolis. Without making such a distinction, “there’s a lot of erasure in our ability to advocate.”

    Waves of African immigrants and refugees over the past few decades have made the question of black identity far more complicated, prompting black leaders to question whether to specifically advocate for their own cultures, to embrace Pan-African solidarity or find a means to do both.

    1. slumbrew

      Ever-finer distinctions of identity plus grievance-mongering is sure to lead to long-term success and happiness.

      1. slumbrew

        s/is/are/

      2. Rhywun

        The multiplying pigeonholes thing is a never-ending rabbit-hole of their own making. It will bite them in the ass, sooner or later. E.g. it’s poised to destroy women’s sports – that might just be the first casualty.

        1. The road is already littered with their casualties, they’ve just been memory-holed for the greater good.

    2. Pope Jimbo

      A fun game to play at home is to count up all the BS foundations/organizations/NGO’s that the people in that story belong to. Nothing left to cut.

      BTW, according to my kids a lot of the friction between our African immigrants and the native born blacks is because the immigrants are pretty snotty about never being slaves. For some reason that irritates the locals.

      1. leon

        That’s pretty shitty. Then again the locals weren’t slaves either AND they are native born Americans so… It sounds more like Napoleon complex.

        1. Pope Jimbo

          There is no way to sugar coat it, the Somalis here in Minnesoda have no shortage of confidence in their superiority to everyone else in the world.

          We are lucky that they deign to even come here from their refugee camps. They are doing us a mighty favor.

          1. Gadfly

            …the Somalis here in Minnesoda have no shortage of confidence in their superiority to everyone else in the world

            That’s a lot of confidence, considering Somalia doesn’t rank highly among world nations, or nations in Africa, or nations in East Africa, or even among nations in the horn of Africa. But I hear it’s a libertarian paradise, so it’s got one thing going for it at least. And qat, so I guess two things, maybe.

      2. Raston Bot

        Their ancestors fought or were the conquerors/slavers. And so our country’s soft bigotry of low expectations and handouts offends their pride.

    3. leon

      Sounds racist.

    4. I assume quadroons and lighter leaves out the African immigrants?

      1. Tonio

        Boer much?

    5. Tonio

      I actually don’t have a problem with this. This is voluntary association at its finest. If schoolteachers or seamen can form CUs, why not other folks?

  18. Rebel Scum

    Jennifer Aniston goes topless to talk about aging

    She’s aging like fine wine. And I doubt it is necessary for her to prop those up with her arm.

    1. Drake

      I’ll need too see some proof.

      1. cyto

        Photographic proof can be photoshoped. We’ll need to do an on-site inspection to truly suss this thing out.

  19. grrizzly

    American college grad among dead in Russian plane fire

    A newly minted college graduate from New Mexico was headed to his “dream job” when he was killed in a Russian jet fire, his friends said Monday.

    Jeremy Brooks, 22, of Santa Fe had just gotten work as a fishing guide in Russia and was headed to the city of Murmansk when the jet caught fire Sunday, killing him and at least 40 other people, pals said.

    His seat was 15F. There’s a seating map here (scroll down). Green means survived, yellow is injured, red is dead.

      1. Chipwooder

        Using the Chrome translator, one of the links at the top of the page under “Topics” is for the “Slap Championship”. I’m at least mildly curious.

        1. Tres Cool

          Even in english, I have to read that in a russian accent

        2. Did you actually click on the link?

          Try this.

  20. Tres Cool

    Allright- which of you lot are hanging around Virgina Tech ?

  21. Tres Cool

    Its time for the Flathead Valley, Montana Crime Update !

    1. slumbrew

      2:30 p.m. A Kalispell man called because he was “drunk and tired.”

      Which one of you lives in Kalispell?

      1. You suppose the cat was his?

      2. Tres Cool

        Maybe it was this guy from the previous blotter:
        “5:41 p.m. A Kalispell man said one of his employees just went home for the day pretty drunk. He was concerned about his employee driving in such a condition.”

      3. slumbrew

        I imagined Kalispell real estate to be more affordable that – though that’s a really big 2 bedroom house.

        1. slumbrew

          Oh, the gun vault is sweet (picture 35)

    2. I wish my area crime report read like that!

      1. MikeS

        A little more pew-pew in your neck of the woods?

  22. Suthenboy

    “Don’t worry so much. Try not to care what people think. And get into therapy a little earlier.”

    I see.

    *backs out of room slowly*

  23. Looks like we’re up to a round 2 dozen Dem candidates. This is going to get entertaining. Even better if we get them all on stage at the same time for the debates. (maybe a little Battle Royale action?)

    1. Fatty Bolger

      Ha, somebody should put their heads over a Fornite video.

    2. Subwoofer

      If they had a debate with all 24 and gave them each 30 seconds to answer a question, they could only ask 6 questions before it ran over an hour.

      Oh well, what am I saying? If you give them 30 seconds they’ll all take 2 minutes. Any debate where everyone gets to answer a question would last all night.

    3. mexican sharpshooter

      They should set it up the way England sets up soccer teams. If the answer isn’t woke enough, they get relegated back to the Championship league.

      1. Raven Nation

        Well, a lot of them could actually start in non-league as it is.

    4. Rasilio

      Is this finally the point where the mainstream media uses the term clown car?

  24. The Other Kevin

    The Team USA sled team beat Canada on Saturday 3-2 in overtime. It was a great game, as expected. Also, last week ESPN’s top 10 plays of the day featured sled hockey twice. Nice to see my sport getting a bit of attention.

    1. Rhywun

      Saw some of it on (I think) NBC Sports? They were about to go into overtime when it was pre-empted by an NHL game that was pre-empted from NBC by horsies. I think it was tape-delayed anyway. So… is it as exhausting as it looks?

    2. Raven Nation

      I, too, saw a few minutes plus the highlights on ESPN. I was watching on a small screen and there was something I couldn’t discern. Each player has two blades/sticks (?) one in each hand. Can each blade/stick be used to play the puck or just one?

    3. I watched this. It was great.

  25. Count Potato

    “Good Samaritan spends two weeks in a maximum security prison after woman whose car he helped fix falsely accused him of indecent assault

    A Good Samaritan claims his life is in tatters after a woman who he helped falsely accused him of sexual assault.

    Kenan Basic spent two weeks in a maximum security prison, lost his job and is now going through a divorce, after a 19-year-old woman made false accusations against him.

    Mr Basic stopped to help the teenager in November last year after she crashed her car and pulled into a BP in Bankstown, in Sydney’s south-west.

    The 36-year-old married father-of-one spent almost two hours helping the woman get her car back on the road.

    CCTV captured the entire interaction and shows the pair chatting happily and even embracing before she drives away, Nine News reported.

    The teenager is now facing a charge of knowingly making false or misleading statement and will appear in court next week.

    Mr Basic said the incident has deterred him from stopping and helping a young woman ever again.”

    https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-6996829/Good-Samaritan-says-woman-accused-assaulting-fixing-car-up.html

    1. They don’t name the bitch who set him up?

      1. Pope Jimbo

        Of course not. That might deter victims from reporting their assaults in the future.

      2. Count Potato

        Well, if they publish her name that might discourage other women who haven’t been raped from coming forward.

        1. MikeS

          Allegedly.

      3. She’s a Basic Bitch.

    2. MikeS

      Christ, what a bitch!

    3. Fatty Bolger

      Bet she gets off with a slap on the wrist. And how the fuck is that a crime that could land you in prison, anyway?

    4. Subwoofer

      Yeah, any male who has unnecessary interactions with women is engaging in risky behavior these days.

      A woman got a flat tire right outside my house last summer. 10 years ago I would have gone out to help her, just as I helped a couple of other women change flat tires. In today’s climate, I watched from my window as she called for a tow truck who ended up helping her put on her spare.

      It’s just not worth the risk of a random unsupported claim of sexual assault.

    5. KibbledKristen

      Thanks, bitch

  26. Count Potato

    “CNN starting the news week off strong by posting one of their fanfics.”

    https://twitter.com/datnofact/status/1125452995615952896

    1. Count Potato

      “Imagine this: Trump narrowly loses — by 20-ish electoral votes — in 2020. He refuses to concede, insists there has been widespread election fraud and notes that Democrats (and the media) have been trying to steal from him since he was elected in 2016.”

      https://twitter.com/CillizzaCNN/status/1125429734886858752

      “One of the dumber and least respected of the political pundits.” — Donald Trump

      1. Count Potato

        woops! Gilmored

      2. Scruffy Nerfherder

        Gramps ain’t got no time for yer shit

    2. Count Potato

      “Imagine if Democrats continued to insist Hillary is the elected president, Stacey Abrams is Georgia’s Governor, and Andrew Gillum is Florida’s. Oh wait, you don’t have to imagine.”

      https://twitter.com/benshapiro/status/1125446440409374721

  27. Unreconstructed

    Holy copsucking, Batman! Just got an email from my son’s school district.

    Dear Parents,

    As we prepare to close out the 2018-2019 school year, I would like to update you on a new law that requires all Texas school districts and charter schools to provide instruction on proper interaction with peace officers. The new requirement applies to students who are currently in the 9th grade and will apply to all students who enter high school thereafter.

    1. kinnath

      proper interaction with peace officers.

      Molotov cocktail. The bottle needs to be durable, but not some much that it bounces instead of shattering.

    2. A Leap at the Wheel

      When interacting with the King’s Men, it is best you keep a civil tongue in your mouth or they might run you through.

      Look how far we’ve come!

    3. KibbledKristen

      proper interaction with peace officers

      “Lawyer”

    4. creech

      Ten second lesson: “Hands Up. ‘Don’t Shoot’”

    5. Chipping Pioneer

      How about we teach “peace officers” how to interact properly with citizens!?

      1. They think they do…

        “Furtive Movement!” *Blam!**Blam!**Blam!**Blam!**Blam!**Blam!**Blam!**Blam!**Blam!**Blam!**Blam!**Blam!**Blam!**Blam!**Blam!**Reload**Blam!**Blam!**Blam!**Blam!**Blam!**Blam!**Blam!**Blam!**Blam!**Blam!**Blam!**Blam!**Blam!**Blam!**Blam!*

  28. KibbledKristen

    Hi mofos!

    I was Googling a major national holiday in Turkey and found some pics of myself that I had never seen before.

    I’m in this pic with Turkish coup-ster and former President Kenan Evren

    And here I am rocking a sweet mullet

    1. MikeS

      So, is this going to be like Kristen Gump, you’ve been smack in the middle of dozens of important world events?

      1. KibbledKristen

        Just April 23, 1985 in Turkey LOL

    2. KibbledKristen

      (BTW, the one with Evren was on the front page of Milliyet. *Breathes on fingernails, polishes them on shirt*)

      1. KibbledKristen

        MF. SF’ed the shit outta that http://www.milliyet.com.tr/

  29. Count Potato

    “Ilhan Omar: ‘If Israel Is So Innocent, Then Why Do They Insist On Being Jews?’”

    https://babylonbee.com/news/ilhan-omar-if-israel-is-so-innocent-then-why-are-they-all-jews

  30. KibbledKristen

    So the other day at the range, my pistol got a bullet lodged in the slide after I took a shot (like, the next bullet, instead of pushing into the chamber, went too far and got into the open space created when the slide goes back during firing). It was near the end of the load in the magazine.

    What’s that all about?

    1. AlmightyJB

      You may have limp-wristed it. Maybe needs cleaned. Maybe doesn’t like the ammo. It happens with autoloader. I wouldn’t worry about it unless it keeps happening. Just need to learn how to clear it.

      1. Sensei

        I’d also suggest that KK intentionally take some limp wristed shots. See how the gun feels, expect the jam and practice clearing the pistol.

        If you are nervous about it only load one round in the magazine and experiment. Better to get familiar with it when you are practicing.

    2. mexican sharpshooter

      Just the empty case or a fresh cartridge?

    3. Count Potato

      Bad round, limp wristing, dirty gun, wrong ammo…

    4. KibbledKristen

      I shot another ~50 rounds after that and it was fine. Threw me for a loop!

      I’ve put about 500-700 rounds through it…is a cleaning due at this point?

      1. You should be cleaning it whenever you finish day of shooting.

      2. mexican sharpshooter

        That might account for the malfunction.

      3. AlmightyJB

        Yeah, definitely. Happens to everyone.
        I’d give it a good clean& lube. Here’s a good video on quickly clearing common malfunctions.

        https://youtu.be/G7JPKTcP2YQ

        1. KibbledKristen

          Danke!

      4. blackjack

        Yes, very much.

      5. Scruffy Nerfherder

        Also watch some videos on safely clearing jams.

        https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b9T03qQp_fs

      6. Spudalicious

        I don’t clean after every day at the range but I definitely don’t go 500 rounds.

        1. You mean those aren’t the same value?

          1. KibbledKristen

            I shoot 150 in about 50 minutes. It’s OK – it’s cheaper that way.

          2. Spudalicious

            Oh, hell no. One, I have arthritis in my hands and two, I never go to the range with less than three guns. I probably go through 150-200 rounds.

      7. Not Adahn

        So, Tamara Keel typically puts guns through the “2000 round challenge” and they do just fine.

        The Humble Marksman has put tens of thousands of rounds through his race guns and only lubricates, not cleans.

        I enjoy working with machines, so I clean my guns. However, according the log, my only malfunction on my CZ (failure to extract) came at round 1351 after a cleaning. It has run without error since.

      8. Not Adahn

        On cleaning — if you don’t have these (they don’t seem to come in most cleaning kit) buy them. They are ridonkudonk cheap, and work wonderfully:

        https://smile.amazon.com/Tipton-549864-Cleaning-Picks/dp/B0048KGFHU/ref=sr_1_3?crid=15LE8IROQ3IIP&keywords=tipton+cleaning+picks&qid=1557184569&s=gateway&sprefix=cleaning+picks%2Caps%2C139&sr=8-3

        1. KibbledKristen

          I haz a kit. I’ll have to look through it to see what kinda doodads are in there.

    5. KibbledKristen

      It looks like Ruger discontinued my model and took down all the info on it from their web site. Weird. A Youtuber had recommended their tech videos, but there’s nada on the SR9, not even archived material.

      1. I hate it when manufacturers don’t admit they used to make something.

      2. AlmightyJB

        When I put Ruger SR9 manual into dudckduckgo, a link to a PDF came up.

        1. KibbledKristen

          I was looking for a specific video on their web site recommended by a Youtube dude. I like info straight from the horse’s mouth. But it’s gone. Boo.

          1. AlmightyJB

            Bummer

  31. Count Potato
    1. Rhywun

      You know who else Bill Deblasio is modeling his administration after?

      1. Spudalicious

        Daniel Ortega?

        1. Rhywun

          “I learned from the master *swoon*.”

    2. Gadfly

      “Hitler was incompetent and lazy—and his Nazi government was an absolute clown show”

      That doesn’t really put the rest of the world in a positive light, considering how much that regime managed the threaten it. Note to author: when you defeat an enemy, you want to make them look stronger than they were, not weaker.

    3. Fatty Bolger

      Oh, I get it, just like Trump! Fascinating!

    4. “Still did more than you … “

  32. Count Potato

    “Science says toxic masculinity — more than alcohol — leads to sexual assault.

    Booze-filled, chaperone-free parties. Teasing that crossed the line under the influence of alcohol. Relatively shy young men who became “aggressive and even belligerent” when drinking. Whatever the behavior of Supreme Court nominee Brett Kavanaugh, it’s become clear that the circles he traveled in as a young man — both at prep school and later Yale University — were characterized by young men drinking, a lot. And by young women whose social interactions were fraught with danger.”

    https://twitter.com/FiveThirtyEight/status/1124395719077634048

    https://fivethirtyeight.com/features/science-says-toxic-masculinity-more-than-alcohol-leads-to-sexual-assault/

    1. wdalasio

      This makes no sense whatsoever. “Whatever the behavior of Supreme Court nominee Brett Kavanaugh,” is a cop-out. If his behavior wasn’t predatory, the young women weren’t in any danger. It presumes that they were predatory, again, without any actual evidence to support the claim.

      1. Scruffy Nerfherder

        It’s their truth, Bill. Don’t you get it?

    2. MikeS

      So, alcohol changes young men into aggressive, horny young men. But alcohol does NOT turn young women into receptive, horny young women.

      Do I have that right?

      1. Spudalicious

        Makes them weak, vulnerable and unable to make independent decisions.

        1. MikeS

          So…the Patriarchy?

    3. Rasilio

      Um, so wait.

      These researchers had a pool of men who admitted, either directly or indirectly to the researchers that they comitted sexual assault and no one thought to call the cops?

      sounds like some pretty damned ethically flawed research to me.

      Unless that is NONE of the men admitted to comitting any crimes whether directly or indirectly and the researchers just decided for themselves absent any evidence which reports qualified as assault. No there is no possibility of bias in that.

  33. KibbledKristen

    I thought the Royal SJWs were going to raise their kid genderless? Not even 1 day old, and they’re already calling him a “boy”. Sheesh!

    1. Rhywun

      Maybe what’s-her-name let what’s-his-name have his balls back and he finally said “enough of your balderdash”. Then he went outside and grilled a big fat steak.

      1. Scruffy Nerfherder

        More likely the Queen showed everyone her massive pair of balls and told them to knock it off with the genderless bullshit.

        1. wdalasio

          Great minds think alike.

      2. wdalasio

        More likely QE2 stepped in and said to Megan Markle something to the effect of “Ms. Markle, I think you may have overlooked the fact that your husband’s testicles are, in fact Crown Property. And your raising a member of the Royal Family to be ‘genderless’ is not something we deem fit to tolerate. You may go now.”

        1. Rhywun

          Y’all are probably right. That is exactly what she would do.

        2. Raven Nation
          1. wdalasio

            I’m not a monarchist. But, I will say for Elizabeth that she gets it. She knows what her job is and what the crown is supposed to represent. If you’re going to have a monarch, she’s about as good at it as you’re going to get.

  34. Winston

    https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Twilight_Zone_(1959_TV_series)#Development

    But according to comments in his 1957 anthology Patterns, Serling had been trying to delve into material more controversial than his works of the early 1950s. This led to Noon on Doomsday for the United States Steel Hour in 1956, a commentary by Serling on the defensiveness and total lack of repentance he saw in the Mississippi town where the murder of Emmett Till took place. His original script closely paralleled the Till case, then was moved out of the South and the victim changed to a Jewish pawnbroker, and eventually watered down to just a foreigner in an unnamed town. Despite bad reviews, activists sent numerous letters and wires protesting the production.[11][12]

    Serling thought that a science-fictional setting, with robots, aliens and other supernatural occurrences, would give him more freedom and less interference in expressing controversial ideas than more realistic settings.

    So leftist propaganda like the Twilight Zone is still leftist propaganda.

  35. Winston

    https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Woman%27s_Christian_Temperance_Union#History_and_purpose

    The WCTU perceived alcohol as a cause and consequence of larger social problems rather than as a personal weakness or failing. The WCTU also agitated against tobacco. The American WCTU formed a “Department for the Overthrow of the Tobacco Habit” as early as 1885 and frequently published anti-tobacco articles in the 1880s. Agitation against tobacco continued through to the 1950s.[7]

    As a consequence of its stated purposes, the WCTU was also very interested in a number of social reform issues, including labor, prostitution, public health, sanitation, and international peace. As the movement grew in numbers and strength, members of the WCTU also focused on suffrage. The WCTU was instrumental in organizing woman’s suffrage leaders and in helping more women become involved in American politics. Local chapters, known as “unions”, were largely autonomous, though linked to state and national headquarters. Willard pushed for the “Home Protection” ballot, arguing that women, being the morally superior sex, needed the vote in order to act as “citizen-mothers” and protect their homes and cure society’s ills.

    Huh so SJWs being busybodies is nothing new…

  36. Winston

    Adams had lost the U.S. presidential election of 1800 to Jefferson, and in March 1801, just two days before his term as president ended, Adams appointed several dozen Federalist Party supporters to new circuit judge and justice of the peace positions in an attempt to frustrate Jefferson and his supporters in the Democratic-Republican Party.[3] The U.S. Senate quickly confirmed Adams’s appointments, but upon Jefferson’s inauguration two days later, a few of the new judges’ commissions still had not been delivered.[3] Jefferson believed the commissions were void because they had not been delivered in time, and instructed his new Secretary of State, James Madison, not to deliver them.[4] One of the men whose commissions had not been delivered in time was William Marbury, a Maryland businessman who had been a strong supporter of Adams and the Federalists. In late 1801, after Madison had repeatedly refused to deliver his commission, Marbury filed a lawsuit in the Supreme Court asking the Court to issue a writ of mandamus forcing Madison to deliver his commission.[5]

    I love how the vaunted idea of judicial review is literally due to partisan bickering between Thomas Jefferson and John Adams.

    1. Raven Nation

      “I love how the vaunted idea of judicial review is literally due to partisan bickering between Thomas Jefferson and John Adams.”

      Well, the idea of j.r. going thru the Supreme Court is. Most of the founders, et al had a general idea of something akin to judicial review. Jefferson & Madison thought it would be done by the states. Others weren’t sure, but there was the idea that there needed to be some way to review laws for constitutionality.

      1. Winston

        Well, the idea of j.r. going thru the Supreme Court is.

        This leads to the obvious problem of why would the federal government appoint judges who want to reduce its power or the fact that elected politicians need to chose and then approve of judges and would likely want to chose ones that agree with them.

  37. Winston

    So speaking of gender anyone notice the term “gender assigned at birth” as if describing a baby as a boy or girl is some arbitrary thing made up by obstetricians?

    1. It’s deliberate – to delegitimize reality.

      1. leon

        It’s disgusting because it’s pretending like all trans people are Middlesex, when they are not.

        1. Winston

          all trans people are Middlesex

          I thought they were Home Counties?

          Also this: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rape_(county_subdivision)

          1. Winston

            Damn that quoting is messed up.

            I think I found STEVE SMITH’s favorite county!

        2. Spudalicious

          All trannies are British?

    2. Count Potato

      It’s “sex assigned at birth”.

      1. Spudalicious

        Which is actually nine months too late.

        1. Count Potato

          I don’t see how. They’re birth certificates, not pregnancy certificates.

          1. But the sex was assigned when sperm met egg. The certificate merely recognizes biology.

  38. DEG

    Muscle in middle of right shoulder blade got a nice bunch lidocaine shot into it…I have a small mound of steroids to take and a muscle relaxant for nighttime.

    I hope you feel better.

    Dena told Daily Star Online: “However, many clients see our courtesans not just for sex.

    “Some of them actually enjoy playing video games and MMORPG’s with our ladies as part of their session.

    “So, I think that video games can be a great ice breaker for shy men seeing a prostitute for the first time.”

    Sounds like a variation on stories I’ve heard of guys hiring prostitutes to have someone to talk to, which is weird but it’s their money.

    Describing the image to Notaro, the “Friends” star says, “There was a version of an outfit that we did without a top, but I’m covering my breasticles.

    Sad they’re covered, but I’ll take what I can get.

    1. Spudalicious

      There’s many pictures out there of JA that reveal more than that one.

      1. DEG

        I know, but I’m taking everything I can get!

  39. Fatty Bolger

    I looked up that Texas law about instructing kids in interacting with cops, and there’s actually some good stuff in there. Here are the requirements:

    The instruction must include all of the following information:

    (1) the role of law enforcement and the duties and responsibilities of peace officers;

    (2) a person’s rights concerning interactions with peace officers;

    (3) proper behavior for civilians and peace officers during interactions;

    (4) laws regarding questioning and detention by peace officers, including any law requiring a person to present proof of identity to a peace officer, and the consequences for a person’s or officer’s failure to comply with those laws; and

    (5) how and where to file a complaint against or a compliment on behalf of a peace officer.

    1. That’s all well and good, but what do the teachers actually say?

  40. Count Potato

    “I condemn the rocket attacks on innocent civilians and stand in support of Israel and peace.”

    https://twitter.com/SenatorSinema/status/1125217247734243335

    So you are saying you like it in the butt?

    1. MikeS

      Aly Yakan
      ‏ @AlYakan
      6h6 hours ago
      Replying to @SenatorSinema

      Israel and peace in one sentence is a joke. They are the reason for all of the tragedy that has been going on in Palestine for 10s of years. It’s really simple, if they hadn’t forcefully taken Palestine, none of this would be happening.

      It’s like hitting your schoolmate, calling for a treaty, then crying to your teacher when they hit back and forgetting that you’re the one who hit first AND took 90% of their desk in the process.

  41. Count Potato

    “Sorry to interrupt this cozy grievance-fest, but it looks like dads work more hours overall.”

    https://twitter.com/CHSommers/status/1125252707751747585

    1. Scruffy Nerfherder

      I’m working right now.

      And commenting.

      I’m awesome.

      1. Two out of three ain’t bad.

    1. Stinky Wizzleteats

      I’m still surprised the woke bellyaching over South Park hasn’t been louder. Also, someone whining over the coarsening of our culture over fucking Twitter is hilarious.

      1. straffinrun

        Someone somewhere at sometime laughed at stuff I hold dear. Unacceptable. And you’re right. Twitter is a shitshow.

        1. Stinky Wizzleteats

          Twitter’s a dumpster fire and the dumpster is full of pig shit and week old skunk carcasses.

    2. Rhywun

      South Park Creators Apologize to Al Gore in Global Warming Episode

      Are you fucking kidding me?

      So, in an effort to prevent ManBearPig from causing any more deaths, Stan seeks out Gore for help. Though he’s willing to lend them his assistance, his sole condition is that they apologize for not taking the threat seriously from the get-go. Desperate for help, the boys apologize. In fact, they go so far as to admit that the world would have been better off had Gore become President.

      Dead to me.

      1. Didn’t that show go off the air years ago?

        1. Rhywun

          It did in my house.

      2. MikeS

        What. The. Fuck.