FRIDAY NIGHT ZARDOZ LINKS

YOU EXIST TO SERVE THE VORTEX. THEREFOR, GROW WELL…AND LIVE.

 

ZARDOZ SPEAKS TO YOU, HIS CHOSEN ONES. ZARDOZ IS PLEASED. ZARDOZ KNOWS IT HAS BEEN A TOUGH WEEK, YET THE CHOSEN ONES HAVE SNARKED WELL AT THE BRUTALS, WHO PLAGUE THE EARTH. TO REWARD YOUR EFFORTS, ZARDOZ GIVES YOU THE GIFT OF THE LINK. THE LINK IS GOOD! THE LINKS SHOOTS SNARK THAT CLEANSES THE FILTH OF BRUTAL THOUGHT. GO FORTH AND COMMENT!

  1. COWARDS! STAY, ENJOY THE BEACH, THE SUN, THE…UNANTICIPATED CLEANSING.
  2. IT WILL HAVE TO DO. ZARDOZ WOULD PREFER THE PARTIES BE CLEANSED, RATHER THAN JUST LOSE SUPPORT.
  3. MEWLING EURO-BRUTAL! THE BRUTAL EXTERMINATORS USE SUCH DEVICES NOT TO “TORTURE“, BUT TO CLEANSE.

ZARDOZ HAS SPOKEN.

Comments

423 responses to “FRIDAY NIGHT ZARDOZ LINKS”

  1. Donation Not Taxation

    “Trade in instruments for torture and execution should be illegal and could one day be banned[.]”
    From governments as well, or just the people?

    1. Donation Not Taxation

      First!

      1. Yusef’s Electric Gypsy Caravan, no really

        Well, it is a legit first, ZARDOZ, what do we have for the winner!

        1. Tonio

          Broyhill furniture, Broyhill furniture…

          1. MikeS

            ALOL

        2. A supply of Rice-a-Roni, the San Francisco treat; and Turtle Wax, for that hard shell finish.

          Oh, and don’t forget the Lee press-on nails.

          1. Yusef’s Electric Gypsy Caravan, no really

            and you get the Consolation prize!
            good memories Ted

          2. the prizes come from The Price is Right?

          3. Donation Not Taxation

            No encyclopedia set or copy of the home version of the game?

          4. Nu-Mode Hosiery with the No-Bind Top

          5. That, by the way, was the prize ‘for Mom’ all kids got for tossing a ping-pong ball in Bucket #1 on The Grand Prize Game during Chicago’s Bozo the Clown show in the 1960s.

          6. Rhywun

            A Dicker & Dicker stole

        3. Nephilium

          Cleansing?

    2. That’s a rhetorical question, right?

      1. Yusef’s Electric Gypsy Caravan, no really

        You got it Animal……

        1. Yusef’s Electric Gypsy Caravan, no really

          I don’t know anything Ted, that’s why I’m here,

    3. Old Man With Candy

      Did you see the photo in the article? Her face is a torture device.

    4. straffinrun

      Quick google image search for electro-shock belts and I do not believe this line from the article:

      “The products available were becoming more advanced, such as electro-shock belts that leave no trace, thereby making it harder to bring their users to justice.”

    5. Galt1138

      Heh.

      Well, of course our betters in government NEED those instruments to keep the baddies from hurting you.

  2. Sensei

    I’m sure the Germans will put a quick stop to the “EU seeks ban on trade in torture items”.

    Think of the adult entertainment industry!

    1. Sean

      Do I ever.

      Wait, what are we talking about?

    2. Tonio

      As always, women hit hardest.

      1. Gustave Lytton

        “That’s a man, baby!”

      2. MikeS

        +1 black eye

    3. Florida Man

      I don’t know if you saw earlier, but here is a link for a free anime website that’s pretty good. I was able to watch the one punch man special episodes there.

      https://kissanime.ru/

      1. Sean

        .ru?

        Russian operative confirmed.

        1. Florida Man

          Da, comrade. Is good site. Enter your lucky credit card number.

          1. Sean

            6969696969696969

            Exp 0619

      2. Sensei

        Thanks!

  3. Yusef’s Electric Gypsy Caravan, no really

    speaking of the picture, did ZardoZ get demonetized? or outsourced?

  4. You know who else withdrew from a country after many deaths?

    1. Yusef’s Electric Gypsy Caravan, no really

      Hitler in Russia? or was that Napoleon?

    2. Tonio

      Pretty much everyone who was a successful conquerer and left a small garrison behind to control the place through the indigenous nobility?

      1. Yusef’s Electric Gypsy Caravan, no really

        Verceginorix? sp.

        1. Tonio

          [High-Fives Yusef]

          1. Yusef’s Electric Gypsy Caravan, no really

            Gauis was a God, love the commentaries

    3. Gustave Lytton

      Bond, James Bond?

    4. MikeS

      Jack the Ripper H.H. Holmes?

    5. Drake

      Jim Jones?

  5. Count Potato

    “Kate Beckinsale flashes her toned abs as she mixes her sporty and stylish sides wearing yoga pants and her trusty knee-high black boots”

    https://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-7143449/Kate-Beckinsale-mixes-sporty-stylish-sides-flashes-toned-abs.html

    spiritual gangster?

    1. Yusef’s Electric Gypsy Caravan, no really

      weird shape, pass

    2. Sean

      I’d like to see her Underworld.

      1. Galt1138

        Indeed. I’ve had a thing for her ever since I saw MUCH ADO ABOUT NOTHING.

    3. Count Potato

      “The British view of the Thuggee was merely as a form of ritual murder by Kali-worshippers. Sleeman’s view of it as an aberrant faith was based on the contemporary British view of Hinduism as a despicable and immoral faith of idol worship.”

      https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Thuggee

      huh

      1. Tonio

        “Gyppoes, Sir.” /Woodhouse

    4. Gustave Lytton

      Damn.

    5. Tundra

      Bah.

      Her plastic surgery is terrible. She used to be spectacular, now she’s just another Hollywood meh.

      Sad.

  6. Gustave Lytton

    I’ll just leave this here

    https://youtu.be/J-SUoHmpRdM

    1. Tonio

      The paw is bad enough. Nobody needs a whole damn monkey.

      1. Gustave Lytton

        Your reward is the full episode

        https://youtu.be/J-SUoHmpRdM

        1. Tonio

          Security software no like.

          1. Tonio

            Thanks. That will inform my future writings.

      2. Nephilium

        What about just the Monkey Gland? I don’t generally have absinthe in the house (let alone as a bittering agent), so I’ve not had one.

    2. I’ll raise you this classic.

  7. Donation Not Taxation

    From previous thread: Lord Humungus on June 14, 2019 at 3:36 pm

    related: 15 Freaky Reports Of Sasquatch Abductions https://www.therichest.com/shocking/15-freaky-reports-of-sasquatch-abductions/

  8. This thing where you can play the jukebox at a bar with your smartphone so no one sees that you’re the asshole who played Lionel Ritchie has to stop! Shame is an important aspect of civilized society. Somebody (maybe the same Lionel Richie fan) followed up with a non-Temptations cover of Papa was a Rolling Stone and I now know what the kids mean when they say that they ‘can’t even.’

    1. l0b0t

      Thanks to Quentin Tarentino’s movie, the bar I worked at had to remove Son Of A Preacher Man from the juke because any group with more than one lady played it (often more than once).

      1. Don Escaped Texas

        I don’t care about Tarantino or whether chicks might like it:

        Dusty in Memphis is a monument to soul. Recorded at American (Neph: if it still existed, you could almost swan dive from the top of the Pyramid into the old studio, maybe a mile from my house), it had an a-team of local musicians produced by a foursome including Tom Dowd. Atlantic would immediately sign Led Zeppelin after the sessions based on a Springfield’s say so, a sidebar observation between takes. The Memphis Horns, like on so many other albums of that day, deliver a flawless escort of Dusty’s handling of a bunch of store-bought college boy lyrics. If ever a sow’s ear was made into a silk purse, this is it: enough grease makes anything yummy, and this is classic Memphis home cooking.

        For an English chick, Dusty could wail; if she were a bond, I’d grade her AAA. I remember when she died like it was yesterday.

    2. When internet connected jukeboxes first came out. My friend and I would go to the metal bar near his house and play Seal’s Kissed By a Rose on repeat. You’d be amazed at how well it was received by some.

    3. Stinky Wizzleteats

      *hides phone*
      Hello, is it me you’re looking for?

      1. Nephilium

        /throws an empty shaker glass at Stinky’s head

    4. straffinrun

      You know where Lionel shops?

      Seiyu.

      1. He won an Oscar for it.

        I like How Debbie Reynolds makes a reference to “The Jazz Story”. Nice try, Debbie.

        1. Bullshit that this did not win, nor get nominated.

          1. Wasn’t eligible, since it wasn’t written for the movie.

        1. Sensei

          I’m not sure how I existed without knowing about this.

          1. Count Potato

            It’s very old. If it’s the same one. My friends wondered if it was real.

          1. Sensei

            I knew it was manufactured domestically here. I didn’t know where. And no idea it was 30% of their global production.

            Various kinds of miso are even more artisanal. I wish there were more of them made in the US.

    5. Fourscore

      Wait, you were in the same bar with Lionel Richie? Celebrity chaser? Did you get an extra autograph, asking for a friend.

  9. Count Potato

    “’m so bored with progressives trying to get everyone canceled for having conversations. If you need me I’ll be doing Americana inspired topless photo shoots on my Patreon over the weekend in my stand against censorship. ”

    https://twitter.com/BridgetPhetasy/status/1139679413807620097

  10. Count Potato

    “The bill would make it a crime to own or transfer a flamethrower.”

    https://thelibertarianrepublic.com/bill-to-ban-flamethrowers-is-a-solution-in-search-of-a-problem/

    I thought this was America.

    1. Gustave Lytton

      I’d like to take a flamethrower to both the federal budget and the CFR.

  11. Count Potato

    https://twitter.com/iowahawkblog/status/1139658636576395265

    Chris Stein is doing a play? I haven’t talked to that guy in years.

  12. Sean

    My gf is scared that a Dem is gonna knock Trump out of office. I’m trying to assure her I’m not worried. I’m doing my best mansplaining, but she is not buying in, yet.

    *sigh*

    1. Tonio

      May the extradimensional, tentacly gods grant you a quick and merciful death.

    2. Stinky Wizzleteats

      This should ease her troubled mind (JK, don’t show her this even though it’s BS):

      https://www.dailykos.com/stories/2019/6/11/1864130/-Quinnipiac-Poll-Trump-Loses-to-All-Democrats

    3. straffinrun

      My wife doesn’t even know what party Trump is from. Then again, I’m not so sure myself.

      1. Sean

        Nazi

        Per CNN

    4. Nephilium

      Really? I have to deal with the girlfriend’s family telling me how Trump is going to send them all back into camps soon. Of course, they also watch CNN non-stop.

      1. Spudalicious

        Ask them what they’ve done wrong that makes them fear the camps.

        1. Nephilium

          They’re Jewish, and of course, Trump wants to put the Jews back in the camps. I can’t understand, since I was raised Roman Catholic.

          1. Spudalicious

            TDS. The guy that finally moved the embassy to Jerusalem is going to put them in concentration camps. God speed, sir.

          2. Maybe they can be roomies with Ivanka and Jared’s family.

          3. Nephilium

            I give some leeway to the 95 year old grandmother. She’s gone through some shit, including multiple strokes and falls. Somehow, she thinks I’m a sweet boyfriend for her granddaughter.

            At the same time, she dislikes my sister, my niece, and my nephews. All for different reasons, but my mom was cool with her. My mom did whatever grandma said on Thanksgiving.

          4. Drake

            Didn’t some of his kids join the tribe?

          5. Don Escaped Texas

            can you even talk like that in CLE ?

          6. Nephilium

            Of course you can. Trash talk is accepted here.

    5. commodious spittoon

      My gf is scared that a Dem is gonna knock Trump out of office.

      Humblebrag much?

  13. Count Potato

    “Supermarket hopes to cut waste by shaming customers with embarrassing plastic bags

    (WHDH) — A supermarket in Canada has rolled out a lineup of embarrassing plastic bags to shame customers who forget their reusable ones in an effort to cut down on waste.

    “It’s hard to always remember a reusable bag. We redesigned our plastic bags to help you never forget again,” East West Market said in a Facebook post.

    The Vancouver-based store designed the news bags with large font and messages that include “Into the Weird Adult Video Emporium,” “Dr. Toew’s Wart Ointment Wholesale,” and “The Colon Care Co-Op.”

    Vancouver requires all businesses to have a “single-use item reduction strategy in place.

    Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau wants to ban all single-use plastics by 2021.”

    https://whdh.com/news/supermarket-hopes-to-cut-waste-by-shaming-customers-with-embarrassing-plastic-bags/

    I don’t that would on glib Canadians (or is that Canadian glibs?).

    One time I went to Dick’s, a machete and hockey mask were my only items, and no one said anything.

    1. So it’s like all those worthless warnings on cigarette packs?

    2. Stinky Wizzleteats

      Be dicks to your customers, that’ll work.

      1. Rhywun

        And yet people still keep voting for those assholes.

        Oh, you mean the stores.

    3. Nephilium

      For fuck’s sake, that’s an old scam. It doesn’t work in the day of automation.

    4. Instant collectibles. Nice work, woke food store.

  14. straffinrun

    Open the tab in a new window and it says, “People pulling out of Dominic”. TL;DR.

  15. Hyperion

    So, this $20 bill Harriet Tubman thing that is so much a critical issue. I looked at that design and I would say that we can’t put anyone that fugly on a US currency. But then again, we already have Honest Abe on one, so… yeah, I don’t really have a point. Can we just make her look like Beyonce? And just show her ass instead of her face? Everyone is happy.

    1. straffinrun

      Why the hatred for Harriet T.? I’d love to get a time machine, bring her to 2019 and have her listen to a POC giving a lecture on white privilege to an Ivy League commencement address.

      1. Hyperion

        Hatred? Because her portrait, as portrayed by the portratyers is fugly? Wut? I don’t get the assumption.

        1. straffinrun

          Oh, sorry. I’d like to see her on the 20, but don’t know what pic you were referring to.

          1. Hyperion

            That’s OK, it’s all over the intertoobz *assuming something not obvious*

      1. Hyperion

        Well, that’s much better.

      2. Gustave Lytton

        I wish that was the actual design.

      3. dontreadonme

        Haz my vote.

    2. Nephilium

      Can we get a Spooner or Douglas bill first?

      1. Rhywun

        Douglass would be amazing. But I suspect it has to be female, because reasons.

        1. I’m working on getting some momentum for The Douglass Dollar (can be one of those gold coins) because that mofo is one of the greatest Americans of ALLLLL TIME.

          1. Rhywun

            Hell yeah

  16. Hyperion

    Godamnit fuck shit hell. Why the fuck is it so difficult to buy a house when you’re married? They just sold the one property that I really wanted, yesterday, because wifey wants to chase pipe dreams of a foreclosure that isn’t going to happen, because I can’t bid up a million dollar property. Seriously, that was one of the most beautiful homes I have seen for any price and now it’s gone, I’m gonna puke, excuse me…

    1. At work today, our team had our monthly staff meeting. We always have some dumb ice breaker questions that takes up half the meeting. What a waste of time. Anyways, today question was “If you could pick one living person to represent humans to a group of aliens, who would you pick?” I went with Khloe Kardashian. I figured she’s decent to look at which would help garner good relations, if they take her away it’s no big loss, and if they came to fight us that will help them underestimate us. My boss wasn’t amused with my answer.

      1. Threading fail #3 tonight. I think I’m getting drunk.

      2. Rhywun

        some dumb ice breaker questions that takes up half the meeting.

        “I’ll see myself out. Nice working with you.”

        WIH is wrong with companies with this shit?!

        1. Agreed, It’s why I’m currently looking for new work.

        2. It’s better than my last department meeting. First hour of the meeting was introducing the new head of diversity for the department, and talking up the new women’s council.

          1. You win, lose.

    2. Nephilium

      The girlfriend was pretty happy with the place I was able to find. I was also on a short timeline.

      1. Hyperion

        Don’t marry a foreign national unless you are up to the challenge. My wife is beautiful and yeah I love her, but… I can’t seem to explain to her that OK, the bidding starts at $384,000, there is no way that goes for less than 1 million. “Well, you can try?”. NOOOO, I don’t like wasting my time! Shit. Fuck. Damn. Hell. @#@$@#@!!! I *eyes bottle of bourbon*

        1. Nephilium

          I don’t plan to get married at all.

          I see no benefit for me, and lots of downside. Of course, being agnostic, it takes the religious part out.

          1. Hyperion

            “I don’t plan to get married at all.”

            I respect you, bro.

    3. LJW

      When my wife and I bought our first home she wanted something with age and character. I wanted a low maintenance utilitarian home. She won, 5 years later and a crap ton of renovations she wanted a newer home with little work.

      1. Hyperion

        The home that I had my eye on was an absolute gorgeous 3 story Italianate brick that was one of the best renovations I have ever seen. No work required. And I do know what that is like. I spent 10 years renovating my 2nd home, which was also a brick Italianate built in 1865 and then sold it. I wanted to make an offer on the house here, but wifey, as I said, wanted me to chase a pipe dream. I am sooo fucking not happy. I don’t know, man, you assert your authority and you’re mean, or don’t and you get fucked in the wrong way. *sigh*

        1. Yeah, this is gonna be my future in a few years when we look for a new place. I was talking with the wife about it today. She wants a big neighborhood. I want 10 acres.

          1. If it helps, you can tell her I said you were right and she was wrong . . . Although, I would adjust that to 100 acres.

            You’re Welcome!

          2. I compromised on 10 acres, she compromised on no HOA.

          3. Hyperion

            I’d trade no HOA for 2 acres. Fortunately, we can get either of those here if we can just agree on something. I just sold my property with 6 acres. Before that, I had 24.5 acres. and then sold 18 acres of it. And then sold the rest of it, and the house.

          4. IComeHere4TheComments

            Welcome to Nokesville, Trashy.

          5. straffinrun

            Tell her you’ll throw in a mule.

          6. Hyperion

            Heh. I have my eye on some gorgeous properties here with 4-5 acres. It’s too big, the house, and OMG, we have to mow all of that? I’ll buy a tractor and mow it, I have years of experience at that… Shit. And then I offer to make an offer on an absolute fantastic property in the city and she balks because she wants a million dollar house that is fucking huge? I mean like 4500 sq ft. LOL, women, shit….

          7. I’m starting to get the idea that you might be angry.

          8. Hyperion

            I not happy…

          9. LJW

            She planning on cleaning that mansion herself?

          10. Hyperion

            Sure, as long as it’s not in the country, which of course requires more cleaning, because rednecks, or something…

          11. dbleagle

            I had a job where the position came with a house. It was historic and beautiful but was 6700 sq ft (including the dome but not the basement) and there were only two of us. Cleaning it was a major pain in the ass to keep clean. I was of decidedly mixed feelings when we moved, but I do NOT miss cleaning that monster for a second.

            Good luck your wife comes to her senses before you put in a bid. Cleaning big houses is a pain.

    4. Spudalicious

      Before we bought our current house, I had looked at over a hundred on line. I printed out ten I thought had potential. My wife flipped through them, got to the last one and said, “this one”. We looked at nine houses and we bought the last one we looked at, that she had picked out several weeks earlier.

      1. Hyperion

        The plan is… we pick some homes, and then we explore the neighborhoods. That’s what we agreed on. So right away, she is hostile to anything rural… although where we live now is in the city, but in an old growth forest. OK. I hope we work this out, I’m a little frustrated at the moment…

        1. Hyp, let’s go halfsies on 100 acres. We’ll build houses on opposite corners. Our wives can live together in a house in the city. ?

    5. Chafed

      I feel your pain. Wife and I (and by that I mean me) paid off first house. I told her how great it felt not having a mortgage. 3 month later I’m told we need a bigger house in a nicer part of town. 3 months after that we moved.

      1. Nephilium

        There are advantages to having no kids.

        Although the girlfriend has tried to say we need a bigger house a couple of times.

  17. I just caught up on today’s Suburu Horror Theater. It was entertaining. But, I still think SF’s final rendition last October was the pinnacle of his writing career. I still have cringe in horror with just the thought of it.

    1. MikeS

      Yes. That one is my absolute favorite of the series. Thanks for linking it. Will read again.

  18. LJW

    Ask Amy: I can’t believe she’s a gun owner!

    “DEAR AMY: This week I discovered that my intelligent, hard-working, responsible 24-year-old daughter (who lives with me) is a gun owner! And it’s not a normal gun either — it is a .40-caliber semi-automatic, and she has hollow-point bullets to go with it.”

    “DEAR DUMBFOUNDED: According to my research, possessing hollow-point bullets is illegal in 11 states; is it legal in your state to own this sort of ammunition?”

    Sweet mother of God please tell me the guy is trolling this moron.

    1. Nephilium

      I believe this may be the next ball shooting, pot dropping man story.

      1. Sensei

        この可能性があります。

          1. Sensei

            Funny thing is I’d never heard that expression or “weaboo” until after I’d been studying the language for at least 5 years or so.

        1. straffinrun

          Unpossible!

    2. MikeS

      I agree with your ultimatum; I also weep that there is yet another (likely unsafe) gun owner in this country.

      Fuck. Off.

      1. LJW

        Whoops oh well let’s trash it some more.

      2. MikeS

        I think Naptown Bill’s comment deserves re-posting:

        Naptown Bill on June 13, 2019, 11:07 AM [+]
        [Mute]

        Right? He’s a father who wrings his hands over his adult daughter buying a pistol and then WRITES AN ADVICE COLUMNIST ABOUT IT! I feel like he’s shaming not only himself but men everywhere. There is absolutely no room for that in this gender. He deserves a third gender: little bitch.

  19. Yusef’s Electric Gypsy Caravan, no really

    Black pigeon has been reinstated, and Crowder is still around, Sargon is about to be kicked from FazBuk, Milo, gone, Jones, gone, kinda creepy, I might yank my content, but not yet,

    1. I might yank my content

      These euphemisms are getting bolder.

  20. Count Potato

    I hope this is a troll account

    https://twitter.com/The_SRP/status/1137818134566645761

    also, why would a seven-year-old be dancing on a float at a Pride parade?

    1. Count Potato

      “The mother of ‘Desmond is Amazing’ – a 12-year-old ‘drag queen kid,’ has defended her decision to allow her son to perform on stage at a gay club in New York while patrons tossed money at the boy.

      “I don’t understand what the controversy is,” she said.”

      https://twitter.com/PrisonPlanet/status/1139672810295648257

      1. Rhywun

        Tipping is customary for drag shows

        Ackshually… in my moderate experience, it is not.

        I was on the fence with this stuff but I find myself leaning more toward the “his mom is fucking that kid’s head up” side.

        1. Count Potato

          Twelve-year-olds don’t belong in night clubs, and drag queens don’t belong in children’s libraries.

        2. Nephilium

          I will back Rhywun up on this one. Back in my clubbing days the only people who were tipping for the drag queens were those who didn’t know what they walked into, and liked what they saw.

          1. Rhywun

            Tipping is for strippers, same as in the hetero world. I don’t know who she’s fooling, but if she gets off on the thought of grown men inserting dollar bills into his jock strap and hoping to cop a feel – or just play-acting that ritual – she’s fucking sick.

          2. Nephilium

            I’m trying to throw down mental blocks into the concept of anyone under 16 even being in a bar that would have a drag night. I don’t have the energy to rage tonight.

    2. blighted_non_millenial

      Well fuck, some 3 letter agency has that in my browsing history now.

      1. Nephilium

        You didn’t realize you’re already probably on a list?

        1. blighted_non_millenial

          Yeah, but not for that.

          1. LJW

            Still the same list they just create a sub-folder.

          2. blighted_non_millenial

            True enough, we are all deviants here.

          3. Nephilium

            /checks the BIF sign up list.

            /nods.

          4. blighted_non_millenial

            Well that and I do click on the odd Q link.

    3. DOOMco

      There’s a bunch of these lately.

  21. Fourscore

    “not a normal gun either — it is a .40-caliber semi-automatic”

    Thank goodness she didn’t go full in and get 1911 .45 cal semi auto. A 1911 is 5 bigger than a .40.

    1. LJW

      Or even worse. This: https://youtu.be/7AhEcS1XVB8

    1. Rhywun

      Am I off-base for wondering how a “single dad” is supposed to take care of 5 children with special needs? There is no mention in the article about whether he works, has help, or anything.

  22. straffinrun

    So the little wire springs inside the locking mechanism of my washer/dryer broke. The wife thought she could yank it open and ended up snapping the plastic handle in half. Steel drum type and cost about $1500 8 years ago. It still works great apart from the broken handle. I can pop it open with a screw driver, but the wife wants to get a new one. Repair guy estimates 4~5 hundred to fix. Any repair hack ideas for this?

    https://imgur.com/a/hncf4B3

    1. Could you melt it back together?

    2. Duct Tape . . . or check the thermostat

    3. blackjack

      That part is probably available online for cheap. Buy it and install. Prolly less than 50 bucks. Installation instructions are likely on youtube.

      1. straffinrun

        The plastic part that is part of the body is broke, too. Cheap little piece but it looks like you can’t remove it from the body. The main components of the machine are built from heavy duty steel, but the supporting parts are all fucking plastic. You’re probably right that it can be replaced, but it seems like a stupid way to design something that is supposed to last 10 to 20 years.

        1. Count Potato

          “but it seems like a stupid way to design something that is supposed to last 10 to 20 years”

          Probably because it isn’t.

          1. straffinrun

            My TV is 15 years old and still cooking. Most of my appliances are that old. We bought them when we moved into our condo. The last washing machine we had was 20 years old when we tossed it. Still worked fine, but SHE wanted a NEW one.

          2. Nephilium

            If it helps, the girlfriend has that thought process as well.

            “We should get a new washer and dryer!”

            “Why, they both work fine.”

            “But we can get better ones, and they’ll be faster.”

            “The ones we have came with the house and are under 10 years old. It’s not worth buying new ones.”

            “But they’ll look nice.”

            /goes back to bourbon

          3. Count Potato

            They don’t make them like they used to.

          4. Old Man With Candy

            That’s why I traded mine in for SP.

            Oh wait, did you mean appliances?

          5. +1 Soylent Green

          6. I’ve known several women like this. I can buy the argument for things in the kitchen where you have to look at them all the time. But most Washer/dryer are in a closest, basement, or designated room (not sure about where yours are). But, why do so many people care about unseen appliances and the way they look?

          7. DenverJ

            My ex SIL threw away her husband’s snake because it looked rusty. Hanging on the unfinished basement wall.

    4. Akira

      It must be the fucking week for washer problems…

      My washer stopped working last week. I took the cover off and couldn’t figure out what was wrong, so I called a repairman. It’s going to be $190 for a new circuitboard (the one that controls the wash cycles) plus labor.

      Meanwhile, a co-worker had one of the water lines to her washer explode and flood the whole house.

      1. I buy my washers/dryers at The Habitat for Humanity ReStore. They’re usually between 50-100 dollars each and they’ll give you ten bucks for your broken one (which they’ll fix and sell again). They usually last about 5 years each (the dryers tend to last longer than the washers).

        1. straffinrun

          That sounds perfect. We have “recycle shops” but they stuff they sell cost about 10~20% less than it costs new. Bizarre. Probably some government regulation responsible for that. Japanese hate buying used stuff. *Games and books excluded.

      2. Semi-Spartan Dad

        Meanwhile, a co-worker had one of the water lines to her washer explode and flood the whole house.

        My wife did this.The washer is in the mudroom and she ran it while the temp was below freezing outside. A piece of ice formed in the water line and cracked the washer’s inlet valve. Fortunately, it was caught after just flooding the mudroom and not the rest of house.

        At least is was an easy and cheap fix using one of the online parts stores.

        1. Semi-Related . . When I was a kid our water heater started leaking while we were on vacation. It was in a closet in the kitchen. I ruined three rooms worth of stuff. My Parents used the insurance money to fix up the house and sell it. My father’s own words “we had to stop living there, I fixed everything in that house”

          1. Semi-Spartan Dad

            That sounds like my house. The previous owners mostly did a good job, having built the house themselves 70 years ago, but the electric has just been scary. When I replaced the ceiling in the bathroom, I found they had made multiple line splices with tape and then tucked it behind the drywall. I had to rip it all out and install an access panel.

            The strangest was an outlet in the kitchen that had been pig tailed to the electric oven. I can’t imagine why they did that. The outlet was conveniently located almost directly above the electric panel in the basement. It took barely any time to install a new breaker and run a line for it.

    5. Count Potato

      “Repair guy estimates 4~5 hundred to fix.”

      How much are the parts? You might be able to order them online, then replace them yourself.

    6. Sensei

      In the US – there are multiple sites with repair parts and exploded parts diagrams for for appliances.

      Does anything like that exist in Japan? Is it a Japanese brand? If it’s Korean you might be able to find something on one of the US sites.

      1. straffinrun

        It’s Sharp. Guess I gotta start scouring the interwebz for the pieces.

        1. Sensei

          If there is a part # molded into the plastic that’s one of the first things you will want to try.

        2. Florida Man

          I found an exploded diagram for my washer and then found the part number then googled it. I was able to fix mine for $50

        3. From Sharp minds come dull products.

    7. Fourscore

      I had a freezer with a warped door, I put a metal hasp on it. I’m not big on esthetics, if a hasp would work I’d sure look at that for $500, my wife would too, because she knows she’s married to the cheapest guy around.

      1. straffinrun

        Thanks, Fourscore. I was thinking that, but I’m worried about the electronic sensors. I don’t work well with electronics at all.

      2. Sensei

        We did the exact same thing!

        https://www.amazon.com/dp/B000COCRXM/ref=pe_385040_30332200_pe_309540_26725410_item

        This one is rubber, easy to use and keeps tension on the door.

    1. creech

      #46 is adorable. And the “farmer’s daughter” ain’t bad either.

    2. dontreadonme

      One and done.

  23. Nephilium

    So this may be one of the few places I can tell this story without getting strung up. On my flight home from Baltimore (I had a layover there), in line in front of me were two Priests and a Rabbi. Behind me was a Mennonite. It felt like I was walking into a joke.

    1. LJW

      Yes Baltimore is a joke.

    2. Sensei

      Spectacles, testicles, wallet and comb.

      1. Nephilium

        /slaps Sensei with a rolled up newspaper

        Spectacles, testicles, wallet, watch you heathen!

        1. Spectacles, Testicles, Wallet, and Pen

          1. Spudalicious

            Spectacles, testicles, wallet, and an onion on my belt.

    3. straffinrun

      Sounds more like a train.

  24. CPRM

    I’m on vacation in Pena Coladaburg.

  25. Hyperion

    Opened my first bottle of PItu Vitoriosa. Seriously, this is as good or better than the best bourbon you can buy here. I taste oak barrel aged goodness.

  26. CPRM

    I’m a pretty laid back guy. I don’t get upset very easy (thanks to a good regimen of meds) But one thing that still grinds my gears is people who say they’ll call you about something then either take a week or more to do it, or don’t do it at all. I hate talking on the phone, but if you’re gonna fucking call me, then call me.

    I’m enjoying a perfectly aged Red Dog from Miller’s Plank Road Brewery, aged one day in my beer fridge. It has a strong yet sweet taste. Hints of barley and it is cheap and I like it. I don’t give a shit if you don’t. Fuck you, it’s my money!

    1. Rhywun

      Just mixed a Manhattan ?

      I just realized I’m out of Campari so no Negronis tonight ?

      1. Count Potato

        Rascist!

    2. They still make Red dog? I haven’t seen that in years.

      In college I knew a guy who sang beer songs. One was the ABC’s of beer. He used Red Dog for the “r”.

      I believe the line was “Q” question any comments that Claim that Red dog doesn’t taste like ass, cuz it does

      1. straffinrun

        Post the rest of the lyrics.

      2. CPRM

        Well, fuck this person I do not know!

        1. He’s a pastor now. From what I hear, he kind of shuns his beer singing era.

          1. CPRM

            If he’s a protestant than double fuck him. *drunk catholic*

    3. Don Escaped Texas

      Shiner: the only old girlfriend you can dance with in front of the new wife

    1. CPRM

      If only. I don’t have to listen to this much crap about genital warts. Maybe aids in the 80s, but Trump hates the gays or something, so that won’t work…

      1. straffinrun

        He’s basically A white Maduro.

        1. CPRM

          Murdaro Maduro doesn’t hate the gays, he’s just making sure they stick to their diet and slim down.

          1. Rhywun

            I think I need to move to Venezuela.

          2. Rhywun

            That wasn’t bad. Never watched a Remy before.

          3. CPRM

            Never watched a Remy before

            What?! Then why the hell did you stick around TOS so long? by the time of the Great Migration he was one of the very few good things left there.

          4. Rhywun

            I don’t care for video “bits”. I’ll watch something linked here once in a while but never on my own.

          5. CPRM

            So you didn’t ever see ‘What Are The Chances?’ during the Lois Lerner scandal? Wow, you’ve got a lot to catch up on, all good.

          6. Rhywun

            If it’s not in the H&H universe, nope. I’d rather just read an opinion piece.

          7. CPRM

            Perhaps one day I will tell my tangential story regarding Beau Bergdahl. But for now, fuck him will suffice.

          8. Rhywun

            I dig your stuff, CPRM. Part of it is because we chat regularly hereabouts.

            I just can’t summon any enthusiasm for videos in general – maybe I’m not a “visual” person or something.

          9. CPRM

            I’m all about visuals, maybe that’s why I’m not gay? I mean, if modern media has taught me anything, being straight is wrong and afoul the natural order, but sorry MOM, I think women are more attractive than men, I’m sorry to disappoint you!

  27. straffinrun

    Kelly Ann Conway is in violation of The Snatch Act.

    1. CPRM

      eeeewww…I think she’s well past the ‘best enjoyed by’ date. I mean other women her age, might be safe. Her? I think there was a hole in package, IYKWIM…

      1. straffinrun

        I may have misheard CNN’s report. No offense to KAC.

    2. Nothing a little vaginal rejuvenation can’t fix.

      1. Spudalicious

        A little tilapia skin and she’ll be right as rain.

      2. KSuellington

        Are you referring to an apussatightemy?

    1. Count Potato

      Coors viral marketing?

    2. CPRM

      It’s gluten free and doesn’t have calories, how can it not be good for you? Science Denier!

    3. straffinrun

      “In the morning that is the first thing I do,” said Indira Bhatt Gupta. “Let some part go, take the middle part, put it in my eyes, put it in my face, and just have some Chai in the morning.”

      Heh.

      1. CPRM

        As long as you didn’t get any bitter clingers fall in, at least you won’t get pink eye.

    4. Don Escaped Texas

      +1 Moises Alou

  28. westernsloper

    The products available were becoming more advanced, such as electro-shock belts that leave no trace, thereby making it harder to bring their users to justice.

    Is “electro-shock” belting people really a thing in Europe?

      1. westernsloper

        Huh. The shit I don’t know and learn here continues to amaze me. What about these?

    1. CPRM

      Wii sucked.

      1. MikeS

        Speak for yourself.

        1. CPRM

          I was…Oh, I seen what you done there…

          1. straffinrun

            I didn’t until you pointed it out.

            *slow clap*

    2. westernsloper

      I find that Q link much less interesting than the usual Q links.

        1. Chafed

          Back to normal. Whew.

  29. I actually think this is a good idea.

    https://www.ocregister.com/2019/06/13/california-moves-to-let-felons-serve-on-juries/

    Maybe some people who know what it’s like to be chewed up by the system will have more perspective.

    1. straffinrun

      All the prosecution witnesses get stitches.

    2. Rhywun

      Ad-blocked but assuming it’s people who’ve done their time, I don’t see what the issue is.

    1. straffinrun

      That author has got to be using a pen name.

    1. blighted_non_millenial

      Q after hours.

      1. Glibz after dark comment anarchy!

        1. CPRM

          Where my electric boogaloo gone!?

        2. blighted_non_millenial

          I’m digging it yo!

    2. straffinrun

      You need another level of disclaimer. That wasn’t suitable for the train either. Housewife next to me just got up and moved seats.

        1. Rhywun

          but it is okay to sniff loudly, take your shoes off, pick your nose and also fart loudly

          So… Japan is China?

        2. slumbrew

          TBF, I want to not-so-secretly kill everyone talking on the phone, when I’m on the train.

  30. blighted_non_millenial
    1. Chafed

      Listen to Eddie Trunk while snarking.

      1. MikeS

        Trunknation represent!

  31. peachy rex

    I survived!

    1. So… does the mom, in fact, do anal?

      1. peachy rex

        God, no. There was also no drinking contest. (Which is good, because I’m not a drinker.)

        1. Rhywun

          Gay.

          1. straffinrun

            This^ is not true in my experience working for Broadway musical company. (That part is true). I’d rather challenge a Russian nuclear enigineer to a drinking contest than the gay guys I worked with.

          2. MikeS

            Did you just heterosplain to the gay guy? What a cock-sucker.

          3. slumbrew

            Speaking of which, did anyone watch the Deadwood movie? I need to make some time.

          4. Rhywun

            Heh. He’s absolutely right, though.

          5. Rhywun

            Don’t I know it. It was just the first put-down that popped into my head.

            Congrats for surviving it, Peach!

          6. straffinrun

            I lol’ed. Saturday mornings were a treat at that B way company. They would go into graphic detail about their Friday night pick ups. You get used to it.

          7. peachy rex

            Thanks, man. (I’m actually allergic to ethanol, or I’d be a boozehound like everyone else here.)

          8. CPRM

            Rhy knows who the best Doctor is.

          9. MikeS

            Pepper? J? McGillicuddy? Feelgood?

          10. Rhywun

            Rhy knows who the best Doctor is.

            Yes, I do. Except that isn’t a Tom Baker catch-phrase.

          11. CPRM

            Low Blow (a video link, so Rhy won’t click, but it needed to be done)

          12. MikeS

            What the fuck kind of incel nonsense was that?

          13. CPRM

            What? people outside of Wisconsin don’t get drunk, watch shitty movies and make shows?

          14. Rhywun

            Strangely, I don’t feel like watching a 52-minute video right now!

        2. So you’re a doper?

    2. Let’s not call it yet . . some poisons take a little linger to act.

      1. peachy rex

        Oh, they’re pretty not-nice people. But they were on their best behaviour tonight, and I will basically never have to see them in the future… just had to get through tonight.

    1. blighted_non_millenial

      As if they didn’t have one already. Not sure what to make of the footage of the “Iranian” boat apparently fucking around at the exact place where the explosion happened on one of the tankers.

    2. Rhywun

      “Biggest douchebag in the region” is a peculiar campaign they’re pursuing.

    3. straffinrun

      Three Billboards in Fibbing.

  32. DenverJ

    Huh. You people are still here? Well, hell, have a drink and I’ll start dinner.

    1. MikeS

      What are we having?

      1. slumbrew

        Dinty Moore from the can and some MD 20/20, same as every night.

        1. DenverJ

          Do they still make Mad Dog? What about Boone’s Farm?

          1. Boone’s Farm makes the finest blue wine in the world. I dare you to find me a better blue wine.

            Also, in college: Fuzzie navel Boone’s Farm mixed with busch beer. Called em Fuzzy Busches. Girls loved them (they are tasty even if they sound gross)

          2. slumbrew

            MD 20/20 Blue Raspberry?

            It’s certainly blue. I can’t, and won’t, be able to tell you which is the better blue wine.

          3. blighted_non_millenial

            That’s a five day hangover right there.

          4. slumbrew

            Oh, indeed.

            TIL, The ‘MD’ is for ‘Mogen David’ – it’s made by (((them))). So much terrible, terrible Kosher wine.

          5. Rhywun

            One of my mom’s boyfriends was an über-Italian who insisted upon a spaghetti dinner with wine every Sunday night. Guess what the wine was.

          6. slumbrew

            Wow. That’s… Wow.

            I would have to to suspect some sort of grand deception – he couldn’t possibly be a true Italian.

          7. Rhywun

            Oh, he was.

            He was also a cheap, abusive asshole. Fun times in the Bender [insert real name] household.

          8. MikeS

            Sorry to hear that, Rhy.

          9. Rhywun

            Not abusive to me, just my mom.

            Oh, wait, that’s worse.

            FWIW, she found a better guy in my middle school years, eventually married him, and had ~20 happy years before they passed.

          10. MikeS

            When I was a kid (and maybe still now) the church in my hometown used Mogen David as communion wine.

          11. Chafed

            You’re shitting me.

          12. MikeS

            Swear to…Luther. The Church youth group would have a “shut-in” (sleepover) in the church once a year and I distinctly remember adding water to the Mogen David bottle to get it back up to the level it started at.

          13. CPRM

            Fuckin heathen Lutherites!

        2. Rhywun

          Dinty Moore from the can

          AKA “fancy eatin’” when I was a kid.

          1. dontreadonme

            +1

          2. MikeS

            I always liked my Dinty Moore with about a half sleeve of Premium saltine crackers. Good stuff.

          3. straffinrun

            I always thought Dinty Moore was dog food. Seriously.

          4. CPRM

            Why not both?! You want Grandma to starve along with her dog?!

      2. DenverJ

        I don’t know yet. Kosher dogs and leftover homemade fried rice?

        1. MikeS

          Sounds good. Lets do this.

        2. slumbrew

          I was closer than I imagined.

  33. slumbrew

    It’s as if a great lacuna fell over the Glibs, voices shouting in the darkness, until connectivity was restored.

    Or was that just me?

    1. Rhywun

      I was also temporarily lost, and life was without meaning.

    2. straffinrun

      Same. Where’s the rendezvous?

        1. straffinrun

          Those Wisconsin drinking holes. Don’t clutter muh drinkin’ space with aesthetics!

        1. Sir Digby (PBUH)

          Last time in Paris was a little strange.

          1. Chafed

            Back when they kicked ass. *old man sigh *

    3. MikeS

      #metoo It happened early today a few times as well. “504 error”

      504 error’s should be banned, then we’ll never lose our safe space!

    4. blighted_non_millenial

      I just thought you guys shuffled off to your real lifes… oh wait right… ha ha

      1. MikeS

        Watch the back sass, Tulpa!

      2. slumbrew

        I’m multitasking! I’m simultaneously reading, drinking and looking at these comments.

        1. slumbrew

          Now I’m doing one of those things, then sleeping. Stay sexy, y’all.

      3. CPRM

        oh wait right… ha ha

        Because we already #slayed all the vaginas. Or something.

        1. blighted_non_millenial
    1. slumbrew

      That link has no sugar in it.

      1. blighted_non_millenial
  34. straffinrun

    I see no problem with Maddow being a debate moderator. It’s all clown show, so why not add a really fun one?

    1. Rhywun

      Record number of softballs

      1. straffinrun

        Really? They all avoid the important shit. “You called women fat pigs…”.

        1. Rhywun

          She’s moderating Dems.

          1. straffinrun

            Oh. So is Trump more Mussolini or Hitler?

            That is Thursday night must see TV.

      2. Chafed

        Watch how many whiff on those. It will separate out the ones who aren’t ready for prime time.

    2. blighted_non_millenial

      As long as she wears a red nose, I’m down.

      1. straffinrun

        Honk!

    3. CPRM

      Confession, I find her hot in the ‘I’d like to try to get her to switch teams’ kind of way. I saw a Hustler video that did that some justice, but then they the threw in Hillary, WTF IS WRONG WITH THE FUCKING FREAKS!!!

      1. straffinrun

        It’s the Morning Joe do she’s rockin’, isn’t it?

        1. Chafed

          You’re thinking of Mika Brezinski.

          1. Sir Digby (PBUH)

            #GeekCheck!! Oh, man, Chafed….got you good!

            /6 of one….

      2. blighted_non_millenial

        I can see that.

      3. Rhywun

        That’s like finding Anderson Cooper hawt or something. Just… no.

        1. CPRM

          Fucking homophobe!

      4. Sir Digby (PBUH)

        OK, time to find C a date….

        1. Chafed

          And some thorazine.

          1. Sir Digby (PBUH)

            Well, I’m hoping the harder drugs can be eschewed in favor of “the softest drug”, IYKWIMAITYD…

          2. Chafed

            He has ED? Huh. The things I learn here.

          3. Sir Digby (PBUH)

            Not the drug for the softee. I’m talking the velvet track-suit, man.

  35. Trigger Hippie

    *Buuurrrrrppppp*

    Enjoy this video of a bunch of dogs having a pool party. Later, all.

    https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=g2wsNw07wRY

    1. blighted_non_millenial

      Dogs are awesome.

    2. MikeS

      Needz moar velvet.

      1. Everyone thought Nadine was a sweetheart for letting stray dogs into her pool, until they learned she had a contract with a nearby Vietnamese restaurant.

    3. Festus

      Strangel;y cathartic! Nice pull, Trigger.

  36. straffinrun

    More site glitches? I’m having a stroke?

    1. CPRM

      Both?

    2. MikeS

      Yes.

      1. straffinrun

        This is not my beautiful wife!

        1. MikeS

          Same as it ever was.

    3. Gustave Lytton

      Site broke. Buy a new one.

  37. straffinrun

    Japanese people having trouble using Engrish.

    https://www.google.co.jp/amp/s/ejje.weblio.jp/content/amp/douche

    1. Now do Turd Sandwich.

      1. straffinrun

        They kind of get that one.

        “She makes me feel like I’m a turd”.

        https://www.google.co.jp/amp/s/ejje.weblio.jp/content/amp/turd

    2. MikeS

      I rub myself down with cold water―take a douche and rud-down―every morning.

      1. Sir Digby (PBUH)

        Is this not the party channel? ‘Cause, that sounds like the beginning of a party.

      2. straffinrun

        The word they use for “douche” is “shawaa” or “”shower”. That’s just begging for crossed wires when talking to Americans.

    3. Rhywun

      Fun fact – the German word for “take a shower” is “duschen”.

      1. straffinrun

        Duschen Morgen.

        1. “You’re watching Headlines on CNN International, I’m Duschen Morgen.”

          1. straffinrun

            How old are we? *Snort laughs*

      2. Chafed

        If the shoe fits….

  38. Sir Digby (PBUH)

    TIL to make sure that I call CPRM if that ever comes up. Or, make sure it never comes up.

    1. Chafed

      Who’s in the what now?

      1. Sir Digby (PBUH)

        Didn’t you see that someone had apparently not called when they were supposed to? I’m presuming it wasn’t a Glib—‘cause we would never do such a shitty thing. I mean, that shit is for statists.

      2. Rhywun

        What’s on third.

        1. Sir Digby (PBUH)

          How was the manhattan?

          Also, let me second the Remy love from earlier. True satire in song form. Man is very talented.

      3. Sir Digby (PBUH)

        Also, really liking the lo-carb Coronas. Then again, I consider it to be my (new) Red Dog, so, take my comment with a grain of salt, and some lime.

    1. blighted_non_millenial

      Christ what an as… wait, what?

      1. Chafed

        Exactly. Short of being a convicted felon, wouldn’t you want someone knowledgeable at the conference? Finding a knowledgeable politician is like finding a unicorn. But they don’t like his opinion. I wonder what political opinions are held by the various hacking groups. Once again, jeebus.

    1. blighted_non_millenial

      Christ what an asshole…

    2. Sir Digby (PBUH)

      I thought “complications” was a negative term in medical issues. Maybe don’t do that to yourself-to avoid complications.

      1. Chafed

        Complications my ass. Predictable, foreseeable, known results of the chosen treatment.

    1. blighted_non_millenial

      I’m not sure there is a wood chipper big enough.

      /Sarcasm you dumb fucks

      But yeah, no sympathy. However, I think it’s the wrong move. Donny two scoops should move DC assholes to KC, not the other way around.

      1. Chafed

        That’s exactly what he is doing.

    2. Sir Digby (PBUH)

      How dare they move us closer to the people we serve! It’s like they expect us to deal with these people!

      /bureaucrat fucks

      1. Chafed

        Ding ding ding!

  39. Chafed

    Dance yourself to sleep kids. Time for some shut eye.

    https://youtu.be/yPNFVj-pISU

    1. Festus

      I had a couple of White zombie cassettes during my earlier mid-life crisis. The only take away was that I wanted to sniff the bass player’s panties.