OverRated: The Week in College Football Polls

While Indiana was getting reamed, nothing else happened in the NCAA!

Few tilts have spoken to us at this point; conference play has only been hinted at, and, frankly, it’s still hot as hell and hard to believe anyone is padding up for scrimmage already.  That said, we have results from another week . . . but, sadly, no news whatsoever.

 

Week Three Most OverRated Football Program Results

1        Utah                annihilated who-knew-there-was-an Idaho State

2        Florida             escaped a solid Kentucky with a fourth quarter resurgence

3        Notre Dame     flexed their way past New Mexico

4        Auburn            curb-stomped Joe Walsh (the rocker) alma mater Kent State

5        Boise St           galloped past alphabet people’s studies heavyweight Portland State

5        Oregon             mauled the Montana Grizzlies

7        Texas               beat Rice for the 70th or 80th time

8        Georgia           bravely blanked the Fighting Osteopaths of Arkansas State

8        Clemson          took it to formerly over-rated Syracuse

8        Oklahoma        handled winless UCLA

So there’s just nothing in the way of take-downs to high five anyone over.

Off topic:  Penn State almost got shown up at home by Pitt.

Not rated and not worth mentioning:  The University of Tennessee bulldozed an University of Tennessee at Chattanooga, but no copyrighting was attempted.  Reportedly, 1996 third round 49er draft pick Terrell Owens watched every snap over popcorn.

 

So we await next Saturday’s scrums with few changes to the OverRated other than the odd addition.

 

Week N + 1 Most OverRated Football Programs

1          Utah           must run a gauntlet of 20-ish rated PAC8, 10, or 12 teams

2          Cal             same as Utah, must endure hellish, SEC-like conference; welcome!

3          Iowa          escaped the Cyclones; welcome to our list, latest national sweetheart

4          Washington St re-enters the list; Houston was much tighter than the score shows

5          Florida        may live up to their vaunted spot . . . but has not yet

5          Notre Dame     must put up or shut up at Athens; somebody’s gotta lose that game

5          UCF            might well run the tables and get to a very nice bowl

5          Georgia       would be humiliated by a loss to the Irish ‘twixt the hedges

9          Clemson      can only screw up; anything shy of perfection is unacceptable

9          Oklahoma     is solid and should have a thoroughly nice season

11        Oregon          PAC10 anybody as the best cage match this fall anywhere?

11        Auburn          starts a grueling, PAC8-worthy loop through neighbors and cousins

11        Boise St        can’t fail in the regular season unless they lay an egg somewhere

14        Texas           has a comfy few weeks until the Red River rivalry resumes

Year to Date Hides on the Wall Ratings

1          Stanford          was revealed by USC

2          Syracuse          was unranked after Maryland

3          Iowa State       was dethroned before their decent showing against Iowa

4          Texas               probably over-paid for losing to titan LSU

4          Texas A&M    probably over-paid for losing to titan Clemson

4          Florida             was ranked down after silly pre-season enthusiasm (but are back up now!)

Year to Date It-Would-Seem Blown Calls Because They’re Doing Okay

1          LSU

2          UCF

3          Michigan

4          Washington State . . . but we get another bite at this apple !

 

So closes another week.

 

links to older opinions

2019-09-13

2019-09-06

 

Disclosure of sources of bias:  your writer has attended the University of Tennessee, Memphis State and the University of Memphis, Christian Brothers College . . . and he sleeps with an alumna of Georgia whose parents met at Washington State . . . and his son went to Houston . . . and he never met anyone from TCU he didn’t like . . . and he irrationally hates Notre Dame, UCF, Clemson, and Notre Dame.

 

 

Comments

153 responses to “OverRated: The Week in College Football Polls”

  1. Tripacer

    If it’s WSU it’s overrated.

    1. Don Escaped Texas

      That win over Houston suddenly looks much less impressive.

  2. CPRM

    I refuse to comment on topic until UNLV is over-rated, or under-rated; hell I’d just take rated!

    1. Don Escaped Texas

      It’s safe to say they’re somewhere high in the second hundred.

      1. Sir Digby

        D’you see that, C–“high”!

        Maybe to could capitalize on that…’always room for seconds’, or, somesuch.

        1. Sir Digby

          they could*

        2. Don Escaped Texas

          say 130ish

          normally you wouldn’t put Vegas between Maine and Dartmouth

          1. CPRM

            Well, Ok then. Go Rebels! So on topic………………………………………………………..um………………….oh, Michigan is in the article, they play the Badgers! Um, it’ll be a game, that um, happens!

    2. Gustave Lytton

      I watched an UNLV game live in person about 15 years ago. Those cheerleaders were easy on the eyes.

      1. CPRM

        That time period would put it within the era when some of them I knew were probably still around. Yes. Memories.

        1. Sir Digby

          But, if dreams are like movies, then memories are films about ghosts. I thought you, of all people, knew that!

          1. CPRM

            Like jacking to stag films from the 40s? I’m not sure I get the metaphor.

          2. Sir Digby

            Lyrics to Mrs. Potter’s Lullaby. Word association thing….I guess.

            Man, whatever touch I had, I must be losing.

          3. CPRM

            Oh, Counting Crows, see there songs always made me feel like I had mid-winter sniffles, not a fan.

          4. Sir Digby

            Admittedly, it’s the only song of theirs I know. It is, however, one of my favorites, if not tops.

            /don’t tell Chafed–I might lose cred, and I’m already fucking up around here.

          5. CPRM

            This is https://youtu.be/1D5PtyrewSs(I’ve heard more, but don’t know them) and I’m pretty sure it was way bigger.

          6. Sir Digby

            By “know”, I meant know the words and whatnot, not just being aware of. I am aware of a few others, but never really paid any attention to them. How MPL got into my head, I’m not sure–probably related to “the ladies”

            Dammit, I’m just waaaay off tonight.

            /’tonight’, he says….

          7. CPRM

            Just a side story: I went to a metal concert once where Filter was playing with Sevendust and Nonpoint, I told my friend Filter was was going to ruin the whole concert by playing ‘Take A Picture‘, he was like ‘No way in hell, this is a metal concert!’ I said it was their big hit and they were going to play it. And, yep, they ruined the feeling of the entire evening by slowing down to play that.

          8. Sir Digby

            I told my friend

            Does not compute!

          9. CPRM

            You’re the one meeting someone for coffee in meatspace on the reg, and me mentioning a friend from almost 20yrs ago gets that response? I can’t even!

          10. Sir Digby

            Wait a minute: You are usually the one who claims curmudgeon status! I’m just shy. And, a keyboard warrior, maybe.

            But, you claimed a “friend”, when you’ve said the closest (geographical) friend barely talks to you. What gives? You been holding out on us??

          11. CPRM

            Like I said, this was almost 20 yrs ago when I was mingling with the likes of UNLV cheerleaders. Today, I’d much rather never leave my compound house with a big yard.

          12. Sir Digby

            Oooohhhh! Well, maybe we could just have the next concert there.

            Hey, everyone–Metal concert at the CPRM place!!!

          13. CPRM

            One of my cow-orkers who sides as an event DJ floated the idea of doing concerts at my house around halloween (if you’ve watched my longest short film, that was all shot on my property) for obvious reasons. But I just screamed ‘Get off my lawn!’

          14. Sir Digby

            “Get off my ample, spacious lawn!”

  3. Don Escaped Texas

    Digby near Dallas ?

    1. Sir Digby

      Yup–northward, but def Metroplex

    2. Don Escaped Texas

      I worked in Wylie for three years or so.

      1. Sir Digby

        We’ve got a campus opening up there next year. Supposed to be the biggest in the District.

        Hopefully, not a shitshow.

        What did you do there, and, how did you like the area?

      2. Don Escaped Texas

        mobile HVAC: there are several firms in north Texas that are good at it since the industry was fairly born there after the war

        1. Sir Digby

          I had no idea. I for one, am sorry that I have one less glib in my area (not that you only recently left–it’s just kinda depressing that there aren’t others nearby).

          /where the HELL is Gojira, anyway?

          1. Don Escaped Texas

            ¿ Goliad ?

            / might not get the joke

          2. Sir Digby

            Gojira is the glib that attends horror conventions and writes up posts about them. He used to be around a lot more, and he is, or, was, close by to me.

            Example: https://glibertarians.com/2019/05/reviews-youll-never-use-texas-frightmare-weekend-2019-edition/

          3. Don Escaped Texas

            of course

            I assumed we were still in atlas chat and nothing else would register

          4. Sir Digby

            Nah–you’re good!

          5. CPRM

            I know of at least 3 glibs in Wisconsin, Chips’n’Salsa is the most regular. But I havn’t met any of them; but travels have brought OMWC, SP and UCS within my range for meet-ups.

          6. CPRM

            Oh, and Doc Anacreon.

          7. Sir Digby

            Doc is in your area, or, he’s been by?

          8. CPRM

            He came with the fam on vacation a couple hours north, met him for drinks lunch.

          9. Sir Digby

            And, here I was, thinking it’s you who’s the bigger misanthrope….

            CPRM: 4
            SD: 0

            I gotta up my game….

          10. CPRM

            I’m just attempting suicide by cop glib, but they’re all so damn nice IRL! Posers!

          11. Sir Digby

            See?! We get pretty much nothin’ around here, now that I’m more comfortable with the ‘nonline’ aspect of being sorta sociable.

          12. CPRM

            Well, it kind of awkward meeting someone you have a mental image of and then the real image is different. And then since I’ve had to drive a distance to meet them I haven’t been able to be my regular drunkard self because THA MAN frowns upon drunk driving, ruining my cultural heritage.

          13. Sir Digby

            Well, that you would make the effort to drive for it gives me a slightly warm feeling. Kinda like Nyquil, but, less medicine-y.

          14. Don Escaped Texas

            I’ve only met Nephilium. He’s a thinker. He’s got all the beer stuff going on and had something intelligent to say about every tap we pulled as we drank our way around town. And he’s solid on libertarian theory with zero conservative agenda, so: delightful. Nice to NewWife: she likes him.

          15. Sir Digby

            solid on libertarian theory with zero conservative agenda

            FMI, is that “not coming from a conservative background”, or, “not using it to get conservatives/GOP elected as a end goal”? Or, both/neither?

          16. Don Escaped Texas

            I don’t know how he votes. He could have a Nixon tattoo for all I know, but I particularly enjoyed that our philosophical exchanges had nothing to do with partisan politics. My least favorite part of the Glib scene is the constant Republican cheerleading and all the comments that presume that there is no other way to think or vote. I don’t visit libertarian sites to drink from the GOP firehose. So it was nice for me that those overtones didn’t color our conversation.

          17. Sir Digby

            Ah–understood. Coming from the R background, even I find myself silently wondering if we all have it, based on our various reactions and postings.

            One of the things that changed me to a libertarian outlook was my lack of principled views–I had thoughts on ideas, and said them (Constitutionality, etc) without being actually committed to them, but, never really recognized that I was doing so. Asking myself rhetorical questions brought me around.

            Point is, I try to be principled now, even when it doesn’t comport with earlier views that I might actually be more comfortable with. So, good on Neph!

            Here’s hoping that I can meet both/either of you at some point in the future.

      3. Don Escaped Texas

        I married into the TCU side and never did much time east of I-35 until divorce taught me where the single chicks were.

        1. Sir Digby

          Heh. Yeah, although, I wouldn’t scoff at some of the TCU types I’ve seen.

          Then again, FW was never my haunt. Sundance Square > Downtown Dallas a million times over, is all I know.

          1. Don Escaped Texas

            Everyone in Tarrant County is married.

            I’ve spent a lot of time on the Ozona patio, but I wasn’t trolling for anything outside of my demographic (as Mike Rhyner would say).

          2. Sir Digby

            I have never been cool enough for a place like Ozona. I do, however, have friends that are/were, so I have that going for me.

            Spousal unit’s friends probably went there–I’ll have to ask her if she’s familiar.

          3. Don Escaped Texas

            Chicks like fire places and I like Shiner on tap,

            but I might have severely violated their standards. They put little bits of shrimp in their rellenos, which I figured I wouldn’t care for, but I got fairly addicted.

          4. Sir Digby

            Shiner on tap

            Ah–the Shiner shits, as my bartender bestie calls them.

            I love Winter Cheer Shiner, and a couple of others, but, can’t indulge much any more.

  4. PieInTheSky

    I don’t understanf any of this. What does it mean? Where am I? Who am I? What is the airspeedvelocity of a sparrow?

    1. PieInTheSky

      I cannot evem google these things cause then google will start sending me score notifications. I could duckduckgo i suppose

    2. Don Escaped Texas

      American pointy ball is retarded; you’re lucky to be immune to it.

      I, though, seek no cure.

      1. PieInTheSky

        The thing is, for some reason, I enjoy occasionally visiting the twitter account OldTakesExposed and sometimes I don’t understand much, but I can get from context

        For example

        “As a GASO fan, I have full confidence in Fritz but there is no way Tulane wins. #MONEYLINE”

        I have no idea what Fritz or Tulane is, but probability tells me it is a college team that won the game the tweeter did not expect it to win

        1. CPRM

          Tulane (yes a college) is the only thing I understood from that, it’s not just because you’re foreign, it’s because that is gibberish.

        2. Don Escaped Texas

          GASO in all caps might be a statistic. Fritz might be a guy.

          Tulane is a private school in New Orleans (never met an alum from there I didn’t like) who won by seven tonight; most systems had them winning by five or six. I have no idea what the spread was.

          1. PieInTheSky

            the google seems to imply GASO has something to do with something called Georgia Southern University in Statesboro

          2. Don Escaped Texas

            Ah. My SIL and her husband both went there. GSU is usually Georgia State. Oddly, Athens is UGA.

      2. PieInTheSky

        Or from this being a cold take

        “Marcus Mariota when the lights shine the brightest, performs the best… Better than some guy named Patrick Mahomes, better than some guy named Aaron Rodgers.”

        @ClayTravis explains how primetime Mariota will lead the Titans to win and cover against the Jags

        I can deduce that the Jags beat the TItans although I do not follow scores

        1. CPRM

          I just know people are gaga over the Jags’ QB’s mustache…and KFC is testing a donut/fried chicken sandwich. I fucking hate Jim Rome.

    3. Sir Digby

      Pie–fret not: I understand almost none of it, either, and I was born and raised in Texas, which seems to treat American football as a second religion.

      All I know is that I’m unaffiliated, other than through my wife, and she’s an Oklahoma Uni double-grad. So, I’m a Sooner by default.

      1. CPRM

        I’m one of those people that actually like the intellectual side of football and hates how shitty and sloppy even ‘the best’ teams are and finds it unwatchable.

        1. Sir Digby

          What is the “intellectual side” of it? I mean, as far as you are concerned. I have to admit to pushing 50 and not even really knowing the game.

          I would totally get this, and only be slightly ironical about it: https://shop.tastelessgentlemen.com/products/touchdown-yay?variant=18347513643105

          1. CPRM

            Player matchups, convincing the other team you’re doing something other than what you plan on doing. Each play starts with 11 pieces on the board, and how you disguise what you’re doing with those 11 pieces it what wins in the pros.

            In college it’s about just having better players than the other team (most of the time).

            But in the pros, where the best 1% of all college football players are spread from over 200 teams to 32, it becomes more about how you do what you do than about the players you have.

            Take a look at a pro player like Tom Brady. He wasn’t even able to win the starting job in college, he split time starting with another QB. But in an offense that surrounded by the top 1% of players, designed by possibly the best (as well as rule bendy bordering on cheating) coach in NFL History, he almost has more rings than The Mandarin (Conference championships get rings to)

          2. Sir Digby

            Interesting take. I know next to nothing about Brady, either.

          3. Chafed

            I’m getting that for my wife (just as soon as I want a divorce.)

            Looks like HM designs some of their stuff.

            https://shop.tastelessgentlemen.com/collections/best-selling-products/products/drive-fast-et-a-t-shirt?variant=5604719525919

          4. Chafed

            How does the first one go over at work?

          5. Sir Digby

            I don’t have it yet. That said, I’ll wear it on weekend (Sunday) nights. It should be great because, well, I’m NOT a cop.

            Nor, am I a Naked Intruder. But, they didn’t have that shirt.

          6. CPRM

            You want a Not a Naked Intruder shirt? Because this is how you get a Not a Naked Intruder shirt! (as long as you buy at least two)

          7. Sir Digby

            I have some experience buying in twos….? ?

          8. Gustave Lytton

            Human trafficking twins?

          9. Sir Digby

            Speaking of shirts–Redbubble has this, which I should have tomorrow/today
            https://www.redbubble.com/people/red-rawlo/works/33032287-top-hat-and-monocle?p=classic-tee&ref=product-image

            It’s ain’t glibs, but, it ain’t bad.

          10. Sir Digby

            Gustave, Shh!! You’re gonna ruin it!

  5. Don Escaped Texas

    brought me around

    I was raised conservative in this wise: Protestant Southerner with a bent for financial responsibility and with lots of family experience in the military; no one was ever better set up to become a Republican that way.

    But freedom always came first with me; the legacy of the Red Scare (absent any support of communism, of course), the pointless sacrifices my family made in Korea, VietNam, and other points of the Cold War, the layers of lies of Nixon put me off government. In that vacuum, my love for freedom kept growing.

    I don’t care how others vote or to hear their excuses. I just want to be left alone. I was never a Democrat; I’ll never be a Republican; let’s not spoil my dinner.

    1. Chafed

      Don I agree with what you wrotecabove about Republican shilling. I currently shit on Team Blue a lot more than Team Red. It’s only because, right now, Team Bluecseems crazier and scarier. I’m not carrying water for the other guys. In another election cycle orctwo it will be the other way around.

      1. Don Escaped Texas

        I don’t really get a vote. TN09 is Blue while TN is Red; it doesn’t matter what I think.

        If it mattered, I’d vote for the Senate-Presidential combo that hamstrung government the most and expanded personal and property rights most. That would be tactical and could be any man or party depending on net productivity, not platform. For me it’s almost never what a candidate says but more more: what do I think will really happen, what can he do, if he gets elected.

        The arguments that Mrs Clinton is shit I accept almost entirely. But that doesn’t make Trump a competent, principled man or the most libertarian president ever. 30% of Glib energy is just whataboutism pinging between these two points: I try to scan over it quickly and keep moving; it’s not news, it’s not inspiring, it’s not fun. Calling out derp is fine, but there’s usually a veneer of partisanship here that comes with it . . . oh well.

        1. leon

          I agree about the whataboutism. It’s hard to separate it from the hypocrisy, but the fact is no one in politics seems to have many principles. So you either criticize everyone or play football with all the Lucy’s.

          A lot are willing to give Trump much more leeway, and I assume they will say they were against all the terribly stupid and evil shit once he’s out of office.

    2. Sir Digby

      let’s not spoil my dinner.

      Hear, hear! Point well made.

      Of course, I discovered mine after getting into LE. Some people….

    3. CPRM

      I was raised in a conservative household, but like the aspie I probably am (that diagnosis didn’t get wide spread until I was older) I got stuck on this idea of small government, and why when it comes to liberal policies big government was bad, but for conservative ideas it was good. I never even heard of ‘libertarian’ until almost a decade after my political thoughts waned that direction.

  6. straffinrun

    Finally finished with a hell week. Brief stops by glibs during break times helped. Thx, guys.

    1. Chafed

      Always happy to help.

    2. CPRM

      You’re welcome. I’ll wait for my check.

      1. straffinrun

        Work your own hell week and you can get a check too!

        1. CPRM

          I worked a Wal-Mart Black Friday, I should be getting fucking disability for life/ millennial.

    3. Sir Digby

      Yeah, it was good having late company. Glad it’s at an end for you.

      Now, you just gotta get over to Rockwall.

      1. straffinrun

        Day and a half off and then it’s back at it. How am I supposed to attend all the pussy hat, gun grabber protests?

        1. Sir Digby

          Only 1.5 days? Damn your Nippon overlords!

    1. Sir Digby

      With a brain the size of my bathroom sink. And, about as smart.

    2. straffinrun

      And Swalwell couldn’t even beat him. That’s downright embarrassing.

  7. straffinrun

    Japan vs Russia kick off the Rugby World Cup tonight. Even if you’re not a rugby fan (I’m not), the WC is a great sporting event.

    1. CPRM

      Also the part of Broken Lizards first feature film, Puddle Cruiser.

      1. Sir Digby

        Ah, Colgate–Home of the Mighty Molars!

    2. Don Escaped Texas

      I admire rugby and its players but could never play myself. I’m spindly: my long limbs just give others leverage on me. But it looks cool.

      1. straffinrun

        Happened to pass by Ajinomoto stadium on my way home now and thousands of people are already waiting for the gates to open. Doesn’t start for another 31/2 hours. Impressive.

        1. Sir Digby

          Dan, that IS impressive. I think I’ve watched as much rugby as I have football. Maybe even more.

          1. Sir Digby

            Damn. Damn my typing. Dammit.

          2. straffinrun

            You can call me Dan.

          3. Sir Digby

            Black belt? Red? 🙂

        2. straffinrun

          Now I’m completely confused. Unless Tokyo stadium means Ajinomoto stadium.

          https://www.rugbyworldcup.com/match/japan-russia

          1. straffinrun

            Oh, same name.

          2. Gustave Lytton

            Blame the Olympics

            During the Olympics, the stadium will be known as Tokyo Stadium due to International Olympic Committee’s non-commercialization policy.

          3. straffinrun

            I see. That’s annoying. As if the Olympics aren’t corporate AF anyways.

          4. Gustave Lytton

            Just call it MSG Stadium.

          5. +1 RasenBallsport

        3. Don Escaped Texas

          I worked with two plants in Japan, one in Gunma prefecture; there are some truly decent elements of the Japanese culture I admire.

          At the golf course last weekend I met an obviously Japanese lady at the clubhouse: Ohayōgozaimasu popped out before I knew I had said it.

          1. straffinrun

            You’re lucky. Something else could’ve popped out.

          2. Don Escaped Texas

            Are there obvious faux pas to which I was at risk? I only know a few pleasantries and the automotive-manufacturing-quality buzzwords.

          3. straffinrun

            No. They don’t expect you to be accurate in their language. I’ve said crazy shit by mistake a million times. They never care. I accidentally asked the old woman at the supermarket for breast milk. She apologized for not having any.

          4. Tejicano

            I hope she didn’t whip it out and check for you.

          5. straffinrun

            *Supposed to be a dick joke btw*

          6. Don Escaped Texas

            ah so desu ka

    3. Gustave Lytton

      And a neat logo… I’d almost pick this shirt up, but the idjits put the graphic on the front instead of the back of the t shirt

      https://shop.rugbyworldcup.com/collections/clothing/products/20-nations-logo-t-shirt

      1. Don Escaped Texas

        are you usually up this late ?

        1. Gustave Lytton

          Thereabouts. Almost sleep time.

      2. straffinrun

        That’s nice, but not £28 nice.

        1. Gustave Lytton

          I hadn’t even gotten to the price tag part. Ouch.

          Meanwhile two more nights (days) of sumo.

    1. CPRM

      Not seeing Penn and Teller whilst I was in Vegas is possibly my greatest regret in life…besides Helena, damn Helena a woman I didn’t get because I didn’t drink…and dealt with that failure by starting to drink…sobriety fucked me…ok I’ll sleep now.

      1. Sir Digby

        Man, you can’t hit us with regrets, then run! What do you think this is, Hit & Run?

        /ducks, runs

      2. The Vegas Penn & Teller show was our entire honeymoon. We have some great photos with them. I’m not terribly short, but let’s just say I am barely visible in the frame of the photo next to Penn.

        We’ve seen them several times in other small theaters across the country where we’ve been living (including in Milwaukee). Teller always chats with and remembers me, for reasons I can’t get into for fear of doxxing myself.

        We’ll hopefully be seeing them for our 10th anniversary coming up!

  8. straffinrun

    Smith vs Sarwark is up on YT.

    https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=adou3a9g040

    1. Gustave Lytton

      “11 years ago…child of the Ron Paul movement”

      Damn. Where did the time go? The wife, out of the blue, wanted to put up a Ron Paul lawn sign in the following campaign. First and only time I’ve done so.

  9. Tejicano

    Continuing from above –

    I was raised Unitarian-Universalist in the 60’s-70’s although most males from both sides of the family served in the military. The squishy-socialist liberal didn’t take but the “freedom for all” ideal was always strong. I was totally on board with the anti-gun sentiment and felt bad that I had such a deep interest in guns until I finally came to the realization that not only is there nothing wrong with self-defense it’s actually a responsibility.

    1. Sir Digby

      Amen! Given my being raised by a mom who didn’t really have anything to do with guns (neutral on them, I guess), I feel rather fortunate that I had BB guns, and then, my dad’s old H&R model 400 shotgun. I only ever shot it once, at 16. Ended up selling it to an uncle on the other side of the family in my young adult years. But, yes–self-defense is a responsibility.

      1. Tejicano

        Guns were not allowed in our house – even a visiting uncle was told to leave his in his car. My mom had an irrational fear of them because some kid in her neighborhood had been killed by a gun accident. We had a series of long conversations about me even getting a pellet rifle in high school.

        If she was intending for me to be that way too it was definitely a wasted effort.

        1. Sir Digby

          Given the avatar pic, I would say so. Back in the 80’s, when the Satanic panic was going on, she let me stay home one Halloween (it happened to be on a Wednesday that year) with my dad’s shotgun, as I was worried our dog might get ‘napped for nefarious purposes.

          And, yes–I was a teenager. And, no–nothing happened. Thanks to my handy H&R Model 400!

        2. Akira

          My mom was totally anti-gun. She only begrudgingly let me play shoot-em-up video games. And boy, did she freak out when she discovered that I bought a gun (at age 18 but still living at home).

          And yes, her efforts were also unsuccessful.

          1. Sir Digby

            God bless the moms–they mean well, but man, do I hate it when they vote to either be able to continue killing us in utero, or, to save us from everything.

    2. Old-style Quaker joke:

      A Quaker farmer hears noise in his house in the middle of the night. He grabs his shotgun and heads into the main part of the house. He sees an intruder. Holding his shotgun at the ready he says, “Friend, I would not hurt thee for the world, but thee is standing where I am about to shoot.”

      1. Sir Digby

        I certainly hope that he was armed with the Harrington & Richardson Model 400!

        I do like that one, SP.

        1. Just reminded by Tejicano’s Unitarian-Universalist upbringing. Sometime I’ll tell you why I know this joke.

      2. I would hope a Quaker could use “thou” and “thee” correctly.

  10. Sir Digby

    If anyone on right now needs some “Awwww!” in their life, check out the hours-old Bostie pups!
    https://www.twitch.tv/justbecausefarms

    1. I DID need some Awwwwwww!

      I want the one with the black markings.

      1. Sir Digby

        They all look merle to me, although I can see where the darkest one might actually be the standard black as he/she ages. I have no experience with Bosties, or, many puppies, for that matter.

        1. Well, there is nothing as cute as a Great Pyrenees puppy. (The Wonder Dog’s breed.)

          1. Sir Digby

            The Fluffy White Wave of DOOM!

  11. Disclosure of sources of bias: your writer has attended the University of Tennessee, Memphis State and the University of Memphis, Christian Brothers College . . . and he sleeps with an alumna of Georgia whose parents met at Washington State . . . and his son went to Houston . . . and he never met anyone from TCU he didn’t like . . . and he irrationally hates Notre Dame, UCF, Clemson, and Notre Dame.

    ooh, we should all do one of these. Mine would read

    Went to Purdue and SMU. Family has major Ohio State connections, both attending and working. Wife’s family are longhorns, and I kinda regret not going to Texas for law school, despite being admitted and offered money. Toss University of Virginia in that “regret not going to law school there” pile, especially after moving out here and meeting many of their alums. Harbors irrational and/or dislikes of Oklahoma State, Notre Dame, Texas A&M, Michigan, USC, TCU, Duke, and all the SEC schools in the states of Louisiana, Alabama, and Mississippi.

    1. Gender Traitor

      OK, I’ll play as well as I can: Went to The One True Miami – the one in Ohio, dammit, with multiple family connections to same – and U of Dayton (much more a roundball school.) Has also attended Wright State, even less significant than the first two. Sibling connections to Michigan State and Ohio Wesleyan (the Battling Bishops? Srsly?) Deep and abiding love for Navy in memory of Middie-and-career-Navy-war-hero favorite uncle, and thus irrational aversion to Army. Firmly ensconced in Buckeye country and thus obligatory animosity toward TTUN. Spousal and in-law inspired affection for Mizzou. Fondness for LSU inspired entirely by a Randy Newman song. (Extreme Trigger Warning: N-word used in a satirical context. Please don’t be hatin’.)

      1. Extreme Trigger Warning

        Too late! I’m extremely triggered!

        Side note: Omg so much interracial porn when I searched for “extremely triggered gif”. It’s 730am, all I wanted was a meme!

        1. According to the previous article that means you clicked on that type of NSFW content at some point and thus it must be the only thing you want the internet to provide.

          1. One would think that private browsing would fix that.

          2. That’s why they introduced IP-based tracking, to provide better service.

    2. l0b0t

      I’ll bite – Attended Florida A&M, FSU, University of New Orleans, and Hunter College… proudly dropped out of every one. I’ve never really cared about team sports but as a wee bairn I loved Bob Griese and the Dolphin dynasty, and the REAL Tampa Bay (before they killed of Bucca Bruce). I’ll root for FSU, FAMU, and the Saints but I’m quite the dilettante about sportsball; I would much rather watch C&Rsenal, Red Letter Media, or Forgotten Weapons videos.

    3. I went to Carnegie Mellon. Wife attended Kent State and Clarion University. Almost transferred to UCLA my junior year, still maybe a regret.