STEVE SMITH FRIDAY NIGHT LINKS AND ADVICE

“IT SNOW IN OCTOBER?!”

STEVE SMITH NOT READY FOR EARLY WINTER. HIM HAVE TO SWEEP BONES, FUR AND FEATHERS OUT CAVE. NEED MOAR PINE NEEDLES FOR CARPET. HAVE MANY THINGS DO YET.

BUT HIM ALWAYS HAVE TIME LINKS AND ADVICE! HIM LIKE FUNNY GLIBERTARIAN PEOPLE. HIM LIKE READ SILLY COMMENTS. STEVE SMITH GET SAD AT SUBARU STORY. IT REMIND HIM OF LOST BUNNY FRIEND.

STEVE SMITH MISS HIM BUNNY

BEFORE STEVE SMITH GET SAD AGAIN, HIM GIVE LINKS. THEN ADVICE. BEST ADVICE.

  1. STEVE SMITH NO TALK SPACE SMITH.
  2. SILLY BRAZILS. THEM COULD ASK SEA SMITH HELP. HIM INVESTIGATE SPILL. BY INVESTIGATE, MEAN RAPE TANKER SHIP, CREW.

NO MORE SMITH FAMILY BUSINESS. NOW ADVICE. HERE.

Q. I’m am a 35-year-old woman with a 35-year-old man. We have been dating for half a year now, he is absolutely perfect, and I’ve never loved a person as much as I love him. I don’t want to say our sex is a problem—it’s really not. It’s extremely satisfying and I’ve never orgasmed better in my life. The thing is what turns him on is talk of love, monogamy, growing old together—stuff I love to hear. Our sex is very loving, and we have a great emotional connection every time. But sometimes I just want to be screwed, if you know what I mean. How do I convey this to him without seeming like I have a problem with how things are? Usually we communicate well, but for some reason, I’m hesitant to bring this up. I’m really worried it will mess up the best relationship I have ever had.

A. STEVE SMITH NOT ONLY UNDERSTAND, HIM HELP! NEXT TIME YOU “WANT BE SCREWED” – JUST GO WINDOW AND GIVE THREE LONG SQUATCH GROWL.

HERE EXAMPLE.

STEVE SMITH LISTEN. HIM HEAR, HIM COME OVER AND HELP. BY HELP, MEAN RAPE.

HERE PRIMER. READ. LEARN. STUDY.

YOU WELCOME.

MORE ADVICE.

Q. I’m going to cut to the chase. I suffer mental illness and boy did it f**k up my past relationship.

I was with a guy from Canada for 2 1/2 years so I already had THAT against me, what with being an American. While I admittedly had a lot of body image issues before we dated and I gave him the heads up. He accepted it and we decided to start dating anyways. The problem was, dating this guy was a mistake because he was emotionally abusive.

He pushed me to give nude photos a lot, told me if I didn’t strip for him I didn’t love him, made fun of my weight… stuff like that. I don’t even feel like going into the rest… Generally this made me WORSE but I was too stupid to break up with this guy. In return I did bad things too. I regret constantly bothering him to talk me out of suicide and cry that if he left me I’d kill myself. I was very sick. I regret it all so much now and if I could apologize from the bottom of my heart… I would if I could. My parents weren’t taking me seriously at all during the time to get me ANY real help until it was far too late. 

After he broke up with me due to the stress of my mental illness I went off the wall and constantly harassed him over the phone to talk to me. At first it was because I missed him. But then it was anger over all the abuse in the beginning (there’s more but I don’t want to go in any further)

It got back to me from my old friends after a huge fallout. I was labeled a “stalker”. I guess I deserved this.

After 5 suicide attempts my parents finally took me seriously and got me help. I was diagnosed with borderline personality disorder.

I’m currently getting help and making a lot of progress but this leads me to ask..is there any hope for me in the dating world? Let’s be real. I REALLY f**ked up and I was obviously very, very sick. I was so scared of dying alone I recently drank bleach just to end it all. So instead of wanting to die anymore.. why not keep trying to be mentally stable? but what the F**K do I do doc? I can get better all I want but whose going to want a crazy like me?

A.

STEVE SMITH SUDDENLY REMEMBER PREVIOUS APPOINTMENT!

FREE CASCADIA!

 

Comments

603 responses to “STEVE SMITH FRIDAY NIGHT LINKS AND ADVICE”

  1. Yusef Adama

    Dillema solved! My old boss gave me the Kia van I’m driving,
    I am once again
    Yusef drives a Kia!!!

    1. Sean

      Too predictable. I’d like to see a plot twist.

      1. Yusef Adama, Consiglier to the Guatro

        That Is the plot twist …

      2. Spudalicious

        Yeah. Major letdown.

        1. Yusef Adama, Consiglier to the Guatro
          1. Tres Cool

            Needs a couple TALL CANS in the cupholders.

            HEY YUFUS!

          2. Yusef drives a Kia

            Sup Tres!
            Tall Cans!

          3. Spudalicious

            Lol!

        2. AlmightyJB

          I didn’t expect it.

    2. banginglc1

      *sheds tear*

      I’m so happy for you . . .I barely recognized you without one.

    3. DEG

      Excellent.

    4. KibbledKristen

      YAS

    5. MikeS

      GAVE it to you? No blowjob or anything?

    6. Jarflax

      I am glad for you Yufus! I thought things were bad with this boss? Did he send you the title yet?

  2. leon

    Even STEVE SMITH doesn’t stick it in crazy.

  3. Spudalicious

    As for the first gal, guys like a girl who takes charge, just sayin’.

    1. Playa Manhattan

      Pegging fetish confirmed.

      1. Spudalicious

        That for my muffin top comment, wasn’t it?

        1. Playa Manhattan

          Did you say something?

          I don’t think I noticed.

          1. Spudalicious

            You: “I’m going as a blueberry muffin.”

            Me: “Muffin top confirmed.”

            I’m hurt that you didn’t notice.

          2. Chafed

            Oh he noticed.

      2. Did you see Deadpool? I would let Morena Baccarin peg me fo sho.

        1. Florida Man

          I think you mean firefly.

          1. Jarflax

            She didn’t peg anyone in firefly. I agree she was hotter then, but then wasn’t everyone 17 years ago

          2. Florida Man

            You didn’t SEE her peg anyone in firefly. LET ME HAVE THIS!

  4. Playa Manhattan

    “I was with a guy from Canada for 2 1/2 years”

    A supermodel, I presume

    1. Jarflax

      He wore blackface and stole everyone’s money for social justice right?

  5. banginglc1

    I have the TV still tunes to the channel the news was on earlier . . . It’s been over for over an hour, But i’ve been doing other things. I just looked up and . . .Woke Charmed is on . . Live!

    I’m changing the channel.

    1. banginglc1

      Talk about horror theater!

      1. Yusef drives a Kia

        Don’t have to dream,
        For next Halloween,

  6. Playa Manhattan

    That was not written by a person with a borderline personality disorder. Not a chance.

    1. Jarflax

      Why in the fucking hell would you drink bleach to kill yourself? I mean seriously, you want to end it all and you wake up and go, Hmm what is the most horrific death I can think of? It freaking burns your mouth and throat so badly you suffocate as your airway swells shut because it is dissolving!

      1. banginglc1

        Maybe she wanted to have a lighter skin tone at her funeral?

      2. Playa Manhattan

        Tylenol overdose is pretty bad too.

      3. To punish the people that let you down, an easy suicide let’s them off the hook, ‘Oh he couldn’t cope’ etc. etc. So you off yourself in the most horrific way you can manage to let those assholes know that this is what they drove you to, if they had even one ounce of compassion and had treated you better you may not have had to resort to this, it’s on them at that point, “Jesus, was I such a cunte that he’d rather slowly peal off his skin and soak in a tub of balsamic vinegar and salt than spend another minute with me?”

        1. Jarflax

          Suicide as an escape from chronic pain or terminal illness I understand and even support. Suicide to hurt people deserves Dante’s vision of hell. It only hurts people who actually love you. That means it is vengeance that only hits people in proportion to how little they deserve it.

          1. Trigger Hippie

            ^
            ^
            ^!

          2. Trigger Hippie

            My only caveat is mental illness. Some people truly have thoughts and emotions beyond their control and no support system to edge them from the cliff.

      4. Spudalicious

        I had a guy that drank Draino to off himself. Nasty way to go.

        1. Jarflax

          How did that smell? Serious question, how the hell do you guys deal with seeing and smelling things like that? What is the PTSD incidence in EMTs? 90%?

          1. Spudalicious

            He swallowed it, so there really wasn’t a smell. But when I went to intubate him, there were no discernible landmarks.

            PTSD is interesting. Fortunately, time and distance in many cases can make it go away.

  7. Yusef drives a Kia

    Three names, didn’t think it possible…..

  8. DEG

    Brazilian investigators said on Friday a Greek-flagged ship carrying Venezuelan crude was the source of oil tarring Brazil’s coastline over the past two months, but the firm running the ship said its voyage finished “uneventfully.”

    Beware of Greeks bearing oil?

    I don’t want to say our sex is a problem—it’s really not. It’s extremely satisfying and I’ve never orgasmed better in my life.

    ?!!?!?!!??

    But sometimes I just want to be screwed, if you know what I mean.

    Ah.. I think I see the problem.

    1. Hyperion

      This is old news, been going on for weeks. My theory? Venezuelan oil tanker, sabotaged by environmentalist. 100% sure chance.

      1. I don’t think the Venezuelans need sabotage for their ships to be leaky.

        1. Hyperion

          Yes, but what an opportunity for the Eco-Nazis.

    2. Jesse and Tonio might like Greeks bearing oil….

      1. Jarflax

        That comment is crude!

        1. Tres Cool

          Get Brent!

    3. OneOut

      So your boyfriend I s supposed to read your mind between fucks ?

      Dumb bitch.

      1. AlexinCT

        Wait till he decides to just screw her when she is not in the mood for that…..

  9. Hyperion

    Wut. I missed… something, and now it’s Steve Smith links? OK.

    Just folded space back from the new pub. We got there… so late because you know, women always have to never care about when you want to arrive.

    But… We got down there about 5:45 and… there’s like no one there. About 30 spaces at the bar and all empty. OK, that’s good.

    So, out comes one gramps who could totally tell me to get off his lawn, but he doesn’t appear to have the energy to do so.

    So I says ‘Can we just sit at the bar’.

    Sitting at the bar.

    Bar girl approaches. Holy fucking shit, she’s gorgeous and Thicc. If you like that. I’m not talking fat, I mean curvy as hell, great ass. Not that I noticed, asking for a friend.

    Manager was super friendly. I mean maybe he just appreciated business, from the looks of it. But we seemed to hit if off right away.

    We liked the place, food was good, beer was great, I had a good German Heffe on tap and a Porter from Ohio.

    Cool thing was, the owner/manager came up to me and told me to drink up, it’s on them. So I managed to finish off another 8 16oz beers, no cost.

    I don’t know how I didn’t get into trouble because I was super friendly with blondie thicc girl at the bar and wifey didn’t say anything. And at one point, she said to me ‘She’s not wearing any calchinhas (panties)’, and I was like ‘What? How the hell can you tell, she’s wearing jeans? Yeah, they’re skin tight, but…’, and she just said ‘I can tell’. Women, they weird.

    1. DEG

      Bar girl approaches. Holy fucking shit, she’s gorgeous and Thicc. If you like that. I’m not talking fat, I mean curvy as hell, great ass. Not that I noticed, asking for a friend.

      Where is this place?

      Cool thing was, the owner/manager came up to me and told me to drink up, it’s on them. So I managed to finish off another 8 16oz beers, no cost.

      I don’t know how I didn’t get into trouble because I was super friendly with blondie thicc girl at the bar and wifey didn’t say anything.

      Ah. It was a dream.

      1. Playa Manhattan

        He’s in a holding cell until he sobers up.

      2. Hyperion

        Yeah, no, it wasn’t. I fully expected the wife to tell me at any time ‘What are you looking at’? Maybe because the manager was all making all over her for her to pay attention, lol, anyway, it was great. We got home happy and full and buzzed.

        Dude, the bar tender is fucking hot as hell if you like thicc girls, WOW! I think to make up for it, the guy hired the other 2 bar tender from the fugliest girl club of Murland, one many dike with blue hair and another non-descript ugly girl. But the girl has one of the best asses I have seen in a long time. I told my wife that, she’s not upset with me.

        1. Florida Man

          Tell me more about this blue haired dyke…for a friend.

          1. Hyperion

            She’s your typical Starbuck’s employee… am I missing something?

        2. Gender Traitor

          I told my wife that, she’s not upset with me.

          Beware – when you least expect it…

          1. Jarflax

            She’s waiting because he is trashed. Tomorrow when he is sitting there with a throbbing head and a gallon of draft stomach, she will serve him a greasy breakfast and start in on him. Brazilian women know how to get revenge.

          2. Hyperion

            No, I don’t think so, she’s Brazilian. But I still don’t know how she can tell the girl wasn’t wearing panties. I mean, she had on super tight jeans, but they’re too thick to see panty lines, I mean unless I guess, you’re a woman with your super radar vision.

          3. Trigger Hippie

            Don’t listen! Your wife wants a three way with her! If you see her there again, playfully suggest it! I’m a single guy who’s almost forty with no real prospects, trust me!

          4. Hyperion

            “Don’t listen! Your wife wants a three way with her!”

            I sure as fuck hope so. / best of all worlds

        3. DEG

          Huh. So where is this place?

          1. Hyperion

            Near me, bro. I can’t remember where you live now…

          2. DEG

            Ah.

            I’m in New Hampshire. I grew up outside Philly and visit the Philly area occasionally.

          3. Hyperion

            Balmer, Mt. Washington. We’re moving out of here soon. Funny thing is, we might actually wind up in PA, in York county, of if not, in Carrol or Frederick county MD. Also, if you really want to see beautiful people here, go to Canton, one of the wealthiest burbs in Balmer and the only time my wife got pissed at me at the bar because of a female I was checking out. She was pretty, but I’ll take the wall flower with the fantastic ass over that any day.

            So I hope the Freedom state is working out for you. Did you go there for that?

          4. DEG

            Sortof.

            I got a job in Massachusetts after I got done my undergrad but didn’t have either the money or the desire to live in Massachusetts. So I commuted from New Hampshire. That commute sucked. Eventually I got work in New Hampshire.

            It’s OK. Being in NH makes being in New England bearable. Winters are too long, the place is too crowded, and it is too expensive.

    2. Playa Manhattan

      pics or it didn’t happen

      1. Hyperion

        I wanted to, but I thought better. Maybe next time.

    3. Rhywun

      OK, you’re done, Mac.

    4. Nephilium

      Porter from Ohio… happen to know the brewery?

      1. Hyperion

        I can’t remember at the moment, it was #10 on their beer list… Abbey Burger, minute…

        1. Hyperion

          Great Lakes Edmunds Fitzgerald

          1. DEG

            That’s a good beer.

          2. Nephilium

            It is. I picked up a 12 pack of their Ohio City Oatmeal Stout today to fill the fridge up. A nice fall/winter sessionable stout. The Mad Elf, Three Hos, 12 Dogs of Christmas, Winter Warmer, and Great Lakes Christmas Ale are all tempting though.

          3. Hyperion

            I think I had 6 16oz glasses, lol. And I’m a little buzzed. I’ll get up tomorrow and run 4-5 miles and do it again in the afternoon. I don’t know what is wrong with people who can’t drink beer. I mean I don’t do that every day, but it was Friday!

            Wife and I were watching a show on Globo about Octoberfest in Germany this morning and this beer hall girl comes out with about 20 huge mugs of beer, it must have been like 50 lbs, and she’s just gracing about the place, and I said ‘You don’t know how much strength that must take, and she’s making it look easy’.

          4. Nephilium

            I’m signed up for a different studio’s spin class tomorrow morning. Try out all the introductory offers, see if any of them fit my style more. Running would just fuck my knees up (old injury from the days of track in junior high).

          5. Hyperion

            I never ran until this year, and I’m careful to not do it on concrete. I also typically do it in short bursts, like a half mile, and then walk again. So if I run 2-3 miles, I usually cover 5 miles because I’m just walking part of it. Although I did run 4 miles this morning and then walked after that, just depends on how I’m feeling, I think I’m learning how to know my limits and avoid injury.

            I’m thinking I’m going to pick up weight training again soon, I used to do that a lot, but it’s been a long time.

          6. Nephilium

            My sister does half marathons, my brother-in-law does triathlons, I’ve got several friends who do ultra-marathons. I’ll stick to my cycling, I managed to get in a couple of metric centuries (62.1 miles/100 kilometers), and several half centuries (50 miles) this year. The long term goal is to get a full century in. I’m hoping to be able to train for it and get one scheduled for next year. The cycling season is pretty much over here, with the temps hovering in the low 30’s. I don’t want to wipe out on either wet leaves or an ice patch.

  10. Rhywun

    RUN!

    LOL!

  11. Count Potato

    “I’m am a 35-year-old woman with a 35-year-old man. We have been dating for half a year now, he is absolutely perfect, and I’ve never loved a person as much as I love him. I don’t want to say our sex is a problem—it’s really not. It’s extremely satisfying and I’ve never orgasmed better in my life. The thing is what turns him on is talk of love, monogamy, growing old together—stuff I love to hear. Our sex is very loving, and we have a great emotional connection every time.”

    But I have to find something to complain about.

    1. “Shut the hell up and drill me until I scream”

      /problem

    2. banginglc1

      Does anyone else think that with this girls that the first time he screwed her dirty that she’d change her mind and decide she couldn’t be with a man who viewed her as such a slut?

      1. Jarflax

        She’d wake up in the morning sore, call her blue haired women’s studies PhD friend and accuse him of rape.

      2. Maybe … just maybe … she wants to feel so irresistible her man can’t restrain himself.

        1. Count Potato

          STEVE SMITH MAKE YOU FEEL IRRESISTIBLE!

    3. Derpetologist

      I believe it was Hyperion who shared this joke:

      A woman goes to the Husband Store. The rule is you can go up as much as you want, but if you want to go down, you get nothing.

      A woman goes to the 1st floor. These men have jobs. Nice, she thinks, but I can do better.

      The men on the 2nd floor have jobs and want to have kids. Nice, she thinks, but I can do better.

      The men on the 3rd floor have jobs, want kids, and are handsome. Very nice, she thinks, but I can do better.

      The men on the 4th floor have jobs, want kids, are handsome, funny, tall, and rich. Very nice, she thinks, but I want what is on the next floor.

      She goes to the 5th floor. It is empty. A voice from a loudspeaker says: there are no men on this floor. It is here to prove that women cannot be pleased. The exit is to your left.

      1. Hyperion

        Thanks, Derp. Yes, it was me, and it’s a legendary truth.

        1. Derpetologist

          Jordan Peterson did a video about the top 5 male love interests in romance novels. It was something like billionaire, vampire, pirate, serial killer, and I forget the other.

          But oh no- it’s men who have unrealistic expectations of women.

          1. Florida Man

            To be fair, it’s fantasy. I doubt women are holding out for a real vampire.

          2. Jarflax

            But are men holding out for real high school cheerleaders?

          3. Florida Man

            If they’re billionaires, yes.

          4. Derpetologist

            I’ll just leave this here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=epxs1-IdZiM

          5. Florida Man

            I got bored. Why is everybody wearing white on a white background?

          6. Viking1865

            Romance novels are porn for women. It’s the….archetypes? Platonic ideals? of attractiveness.

            You can’t make yourself into a billionaire, but you can comb your hair, put some cologne on, and wear a sport coat when you take her out on a date. You can’t make yourself a vampire, but you can give her a bite on the neck. You aren’t a pirate or a serial killer, but you can handle her a bit rougher then is usual.

          7. Jarflax

            Platonic ideals?

            no.

          8. Lessee … I have written billionaires and pirates and killers, but no vampires*.

            I love all my heroes. Would I EVER in a million years want to be in a relationship with one of them? Oh hell no.

            *Still thinking about my middle-aged frumpy housewife vampire living paycheck to paycheck for eternity.

          9. Florida Man

            If she can save just a few bucks each paycheck over centuries she’ll end up rich.

          10. I figured out that since she’s now a vampire, she can work night shift at QuikTrip. Never get tired, never get any body aches, super fast. QuikTrip pays well. too.

            Now, when HR figures out she’s worked there for 30 years and she still looks 53 …

            Then she’s gonna have some problems.

          11. Rhywun

            Nah, HR ain’t gonna notice shit.

            The only person who would notice would be any romantic partner.

          12. Florida Man

            Quit, move to another location under an assumed name. She doesn’t even have to learn a new trade and will be employee of the month in her second month.

          13. Not sure she’s getting a romantic partner at all. Sheri Tepper wrote a book called Beauty that struck me in many ways.

            I don’t know what my vampire’s purpose would be. I actually had her discover her purpose, and then I didn’t write it down and forgot the idea.

            But she needs a quest or a purpose, not a partner.

          14. Tulip

            Oh this, I want a guy that likes sudoku and hanging out with me, cooking and stuff. But that’s not my fantasy.

          15. Men don’t read romance novels, but probably porn is the closest analog. So women fantasize about powerful men, and men fantasize about teen girls, at least according to the number of PornHub videos by category.

          16. Jarflax

            Women seek mates that will support their kids and protect them from the world

            Men seek mates that are likely to be fertile

            Neither is consciously aware of this

          17. banginglc1

            Men seek mates that are likely to be fertile willing

            FTFY . . . although I will state that we prefer women who are fertile

          18. Jarflax

            You are talking about what you consciously seek. I am talking about the unconscious cues. Hips, tits, long full hair (which indicates adequate nutrition, as do good nails), youth. We evolved to dump our seed in fertile vaginas; women evolved to open their legs for men who would feed them and the children.

            Or, God created us that way because it works best. 6 of one half a dozen of the other.

          19. A Leap at the Wheel

            Jarflax – Bilateral symmetry, which is an indication of low levels of genetic mutation, is sought after more by men than women.

            Our meat bags are weird.

    4. That’s what you talk about during sex??

    5. AlmightyJB

      Yeah, if he pumped her like rag doll until he got off then rolled over and went to sleep, she’d complain about that too.

  12. Aloysious

    _”I can get better all I want but whose going to want a crazy like me?”

    … I got nothing.

    1. Florida Man

      I tried to fix crazy once. Never again did I try.

      1. Aloysious

        Failed at fixing crazy twice.

        There’s no sexy like crazy sexy.

        It’s still a poor choice.

        1. Spudalicious

          And yet we still go there.

      2. blackjack

        Never tried to fix it, but I’ve tried to taste it without paying many (countless?) times. The yin/yang ratio is strong with them. It’s better…and worse.

  13. Viking1865

    Devils Backbone released a sampler pack that has 3 different beers, all of which are themed to support a different nonprofit.

    https://www.dbbrewingcompany.com/beverage/heartland-initiative/

    One is for dogs, one is for mental health, one is for wildlife firefighters. I liked them. But I like pretty much all their beers.

  14. “Honey, shut up and fuck me.”

    Why is this hard?

    1. Spudalicious

      Oxymoron?

    2. banginglc1

      Because that’s not passive aggressive and doesn’t give her any avenue to bitch to her friends.

      At least that’s my assumption.

    3. Yusef drives a Kia

      Well, when a man likes a woman………

    4. Hyperion

      “Honey, shut up and fuck me. Why is this hard”

      Because of who is asking the question. Men are always going to say that and be OK with it. Women are always gong to be the ones still talking and saying that is a road to sleeping on the couch for the night. So tell us the solution?

      1. Jarflax

        Learn what your lover likes? Do that and ask them to do what you like? If anyone mentions dressing up like an animal leave?

        1. Hyperion

          Dude, you’re talking about dealing with a woman. I mean, I think that’s what we’re talking about. Logic and reason just flew out the window.

        2. AlmightyJB

          Even then, you do gotta throw out the occasional surprise. “You know that girl from accounting I told you about? She’s upstairs.”

          1. Jarflax

            Girl from sales dude. Girl from admin maybe. Girls from accounting?

          2. AlmightyJB

            Freaks

      2. Well, I was going to say,

        WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU PEOPLE FUCKING?!

        but I decided to go the passive route and say, “I have said this to my husband before and he happily accommodated me.”

        1. Florida Man

          Same person for the last…geez has it really been 16 years already. Where does the time go.

          1. Is she straightforward about what she wants?

          2. Florida Man

            Oh yeah. Communication is key.

    5. First, I’m skeptical that the husband is actually aroused by talking about holding hands as they sit on rocking chairs gazing at the sunset and growing old together. That sounds like something a guy would say he likes because he thinks that’s what she wants to hear. Second, why do they have to talk so much? Why’s everybody gotta wear costumes or pretend to be a naughty firefighter or talk a bunch of outlandish shit to each other? It’s sex, why complicate shit?

      1. Florida Man

        Variety is the spice of life.

        1. Jarflax

          Florida Man on November 1, 2019, 09:00 PM
          Same person for the last…geez has it really been 16 years already. Where does the time go.

          Florida Man on November 1, 2019, 09:00 PM
          Variety is the spice of life.

          submitted w/o comment

          1. Florida Man

            You know you can do various activities with the same partner, right?

      2. This. Cod – > Cunte, repetitively adjust depth of coupling until viscous substance is ejected.

        1. Jarflax

          Dude, I’m a fat single 52 year old who doesn’t want to think about how long it has been, and that sounds dull even to me.

          1. Spudalicious

            Larf!

      3. MikeS

        That sounds like something a guy would say he likes because he thinks that’s what she wants to hear.

        So much this. They are stillin the “new love” stage and he thinks she wants to make love all the time. She just needs to say, look…

    6. Cannoli

      It’s amazing how many of these situations would be solved by just talking to the other person. That last girl, though…I think Mr. Smith’s response was spot on.

    7. Tulip

      Yeah, she’s willing to Fuck him, but can’t tell him what she wants. Can you say dysfunctional?

  15. Count Potato

    “Progressive Latino pollster: 98% of Latinos do not identify with “Latinx” label”

    https://medium.com/@ThinkNowTweets/progressive-latino-pollster-trust-me-latinos-do-not-identify-with-latinx-63229adebcea

    Maybe because they have a vague understanding how Spanish works?

    1. I don’t even know how to pronounce Latinx.

      1. Hyperion

        The problem is that neither does 98% of Latinos.

      2. AlmightyJB

        It doesn’t come up for me. I just call people by their name.

      3. Jarflax

        Commie?

      4. straffinrun

        Have a stick of gum.

      5. mexican sharpshooter

        I don’t even know how to pronounce Latinx.

        Same way Mexicans pronounce the Nahuatl X. It is pronounced La-Teeen-sch*

        *Not serious.

        1. Jarflax

          I know plenty of latins are socialist, for the same reason Europeans in 1847 were socialist, when you live in a feudal culture people yelling hang the landlord appeal to you, but I know zero ‘woke’ latins. I suspect latinx is used exclusively by white suburban girls with blue hair.

          1. mexican sharpshooter

            There’s always one.

    2. Rhywun

      It was invented by white proggie intellectuals to appeal to white proggie intellectuals.

  16. Trigger Hippie

    ‘Just like a Hollywood jump scare, though, this late October asteroid poses no actual threat. It has already passed by us at a speed of nearly 27,000 miles per hour (43,452 kph) and is likely only between 2 and 7 meters in diameter, which is too small to do major damage even if it had impacted.’

    Then why should I care?

    ‘What’s really remarkable about this spooky space rock sighting is that it speaks to how astronomers are getting better at spotting incoming asteroids. It’s very possible that we’re getting buzzed by cosmic boulders on the regs, and always have been, but we’re just now getting a sense of how much traffic is really up there.’

    Oh, well carry on then. Of course, without a contingency plan in place for a life altering/extinction asteroid hit it really wouldn’t matter. For most of us, we’d be excluded anyway. I’m sure some of you have taken at least rudimentary precautions for such a scenario, but I worry about extinction scenarios about as much as I worry about the Illuminati, ghosts, being hit by lightning, mass shootings, the Rapture, MTV, people who name their sons Clement, and pop music: not at all. It’s a force or belief I have no power over and being a very modern man, I’m too busy/lazy of a to prepare for or obsess over the worst.

    /taking it easy for all you sinners

    1. Yusef drives a Kia

      It could be an awesome view, right before the end ….
      /Woody Harrellson

    2. Florida Man

      The good thing about being prepared for hurricanes is you’re also prepared for just about any disaster, including zombies.

      *racks shotgun*

      1. Trigger Hippie

        Tornadoes are the biggest boogeyman here, but my home sits at the top of a very hilly neighborhood, with a very large river just a couple miles to my south. My biggest worry is any tree limb damage to the roof or exterior walls. And it’s a rental home, not really my problem aside from short term inconvenience. I may be a pothead, but I still have enough sense to cough up rental insurance in case things go beyond that and damages my personal property.

    3. straffinrun

      the Illuminati, ghosts, being hit by lightning, mass shootings, the Rapture, MTV, people who name their sons Clement, and pop music

      You should be prepping for at least three of those.

      1. Trigger Hippie

        Tornadoes, being hit by lighting, and mass shootings are the only things that could possibly be negated by common sense and/or preperation. I posses neither of those. In fact, I’ve spent many hours running around outside to see the first two.

        1. Jarflax

          I have stood outside in a Tstorm barefoot more times than I can count. THere is nothing better than standing there in gale force winds, with rain stinging, your skin, smelling the ozone from the lightning. I’d do it nude if I lived alone.

          1. straffinrun

            Look at King Lear over here.

          2. Gender Traitor

            I often go out on our back porch to watch thunderstorms (in warm weather.) I rationalize that I’m safe on the wood-frame futon with the cotton mattress & cover, even though the patio roof is metal. (Aluminum, so not conductive, right?)

          3. MikeS

            (Aluminum, so not conductive, right?)

            Um…sure?

          4. Jarflax

            Not gonna tell her? GT, aluminum is commonly used in electrical wire. It is extremely conductive, you might as well stand on a copper plate connected to a lightning rod.

          5. Gender Traitor

            LET ME HAVE THIS!!!

          6. MikeS

            In order of conductivity: (from memory)

            silver
            copper
            gold
            aluminum

          7. MikeS

            @ Trashy: Have you ever gotten a line on why Eyepiece causes a page refresh when clicking on the reply button? It doesn’t always happen; only after a certain amount of time…seems like 5-ish minutes.

          8. MikeS

            Dammit! Supposed o be a new thread

  17. Forgot about how libertarian this song is.

    “The gang and the government are no different.”

  18. Sean

    Trumping it up at a rally tonight in MS.

    Bring
    It
    On.

    2020.

    1. Jarflax

      November 4, 2020, Republicans have retaken the House and hold 58 senate seats and the White House. RBG gives up and retires because 4 years is too long. Everything is wonderful and the swamp will be drained. January 28, 2021 A budget with a 1.5 trillion deficit is signed, the Federal payroll adds 150,000 net jobs, laws against a host of victimless crimes are announced. Obamacare is retained with minor tweaks, all of which do nothing but add costs and subsidize them.

      1. Viking1865

        “A budget with a 1.5 trillion deficit is signed”

        That’s a bold prediction right there. An actual budget?

        1. Jarflax

          Fair rebuttal, a CR with a 1.5 trillion deficit is passed over Democrat objections to the insane austerity

        2. Trigger Hippie

          ‘An actual budget?’

          When was the last time we actually passed one instead of an Omnibus? We’re already passing those at around a trillion above the tax revenue per calendar year, is it really that far-fetched?

  19. Juvenile Bluster

    I closed $1.7 billion worth of loans this week (working certain matters for the borrowers). Multiple closings in a week means no time to breathe. I also need sleep.

    Florida’s seeing new people moving from Connecticut and Massachusetts since the new tax laws went into place. This shit’s going to push Florida blue in 2020.

    1. Playa Manhattan

      You can have some coffee. Coffee is for closers.

      1. Juvenile Bluster

        I’m so tired and burned out right now I wouldn’t mind if I won 3rd prize.

    2. Jarflax

      I drew up documents for 10 transactions, seven clients, this week that totaled under $1,000,000, three quarters of that was for two properties on a master lease and option, one of them $7k. Sometimes listening to you lawyers with real jobs makes me feel like a bottom feeder.

    3. Florida Man

      This shit’s going to push Florida blue in 2020.-

      Please no. I love Florida. I don’t want to get run out by a bunch of people without self awareness as to why they had to flee their shithole states.

      1. straffinrun

        Is that established as true or just an assumption that these people fleeing blue states are still voting blue in their new states? It may very well be true, but I’ve never seen actual data showing it.

        1. Jarflax

          Colorado says yes they are. It was a bright Red State 20 years ago

          1. Is that all on transplants? don’t people change, don’t generations, this seems like a zero sum game fallacy, If all the dirty Blues are moving into red states and turning them blue wouldn’t the blue state then become red?

          2. Jarflax

            Once a State goes all blue they lock it down with fraud. Go ahead and tell me I’m paranoid, but first look at 2018 in Orange county.

          3. blackjack

            This. Katie Hill would like to explain this but she’s busy writing letters to Steve Smith.

          4. straffinrun

            The entire population is turning more blue if you look at Reagan’s time. Then it changes and some pockets of blue emerge and others disappear. Just don’t know to what extent it’s the fleeing people that are responsible for the swings in some states.

          5. Rhywun

            I think it’s more a consequence of living patterns. (Sub)urban vs. rural.

            The US is 80+% urban now (that includes suburbs).

          6. straffinrun

            We need an American Pol Pot.

        2. Florida Man

          I have south Florida as an example. The majority in broward are transplants and they vote hard blue.

      2. KSuellington

        It happened to California from all the East Coasters that came here over the last several decades.

        1. Rhywun

          See my theory below. It doesn’t matter where the growth is coming from. Soccer moms are gonna soccer mom.

          The only states that are going to stay red are the states that don’t grow.

          1. KSuellington

            I would tend to agree. I know the “it’s them damn Californians that are ruining this place” has lots of mileage and there is a certain small truth to it. It’s demographic change and a number of other factors that are leading to the increase in the love of big gubmint.

          2. Collapsitarianism for the win

          3. KSuellington

            It really wasn’t that long ago that California regularly elected both Teams, was a good place to start a business, and had decent gun laws. Most of my childhood growing up was under a Repub governor. The change came slowly and then all at once.

          4. Rhywun

            There are a few bubbles about to burst that might reveal a way forward, or not. I dunno.

          5. Florida Man

            So you are saying trump is the last gasp before this country goes the way of the UK? Thanks Rhy, I was hanging on by a thread, but now I’m sliding completely into despair.

          6. Jarflax

            We need a frontier

          7. straffinrun

            Don’t even think about. *reenacts Edo immigration policies*

          8. Jarflax

            OH, so you escaped over there and now you want the door locked?

          9. Spudalicious

            straff is a NIMBY.

          10. straffinrun

            I left for a fucking reason. Now you all are seeing what I saw decades ago and wanna crowd my corner? Foresight FTW. *Taps temple with index finger*

          11. straffinrun

            Soccer mom being… a minivan driving, pretentious, self righteous mom that wants to virtue signal and get free shit at the same time? That’s more than just soccer moms. Just saying.

          12. Jarflax

            We say Soccer Mom because people get mad when you point out that the real solution is to repeal XIX.

          13. hayeksplosives

            My brother was in town last week and declared that every law named after a kid is guaranteed to be a bad law.

          14. Jarflax

            I expected to get pilloried for the comment by you or GT or Mojeaux.

          15. Well, for one thing, we’re not soccer moms.

            For another thing, I’m sitting here thinking about the blue-i-fication of the suburbs and I’m wondering where it’s coming from. Team Blue doesn’t have that many kids, so it can’t be from population growth.

            Soccer moms are not breaking off pieces of themselves that regenerate into new soccer moms.

            So if it’s NOT immigration and it’s NOT SJWs oozing across the country, where is the blue-ing coming from?

            People just … change their minds and turn SJW? People who were not at one time Marxists just … convert?

            Where are the blue people coming from?

          16. Jarflax

            LOl, but I was saying it isn’t “soccer moms” it is women generally voting. The largest component of the prog voting base is white women. If women did not vote at all Team Blue would have single digit Senators and double digit Reps.

            I was trying to pick a fight damn it!

          17. If women did not vote at all

            Oh that ship has sailed. There’s nothing to fight about. LOL

          18. Spudalicious

            Here, let me show you how this is done.

            If white chicks in the ‘burbs knew what the fuck they were doing, they’d quit voting for Democrats. Letting them vote is one of the dumbest things this country has ever done.

          19. Well, that was just the sexiest thing I have ever heard. You really know how to charm a girl.

          20. Jarflax

            Mojeaux going all Ghandi Fu and stuff!

          21. *Nelson laugh*

          22. straffinrun

            I’m against suffrage for men or women.

          23. Rhywun

            Where are the blue people coming from?

            Public schools?

            Really, I think decades of propaganda plays a big part here.

          24. Gender Traitor

            Public schools?

            Inorite?? They’re smurf factories!

          25. Nephilium

            The only states that are going to stay red are the states that don’t grow.

            /waves tiny Ohio flag.

          26. Jarflax

            If the Democrats get 60 Senate seats, the White House and the House there will be no Red States until the Civil War ends.

          27. Dammit, take my upvote.

          28. Gender Traitor

            We’re not allowed to vote.

          29. Jarflax

            No one would vote for me anyway. My platform “The Constitution authorized the Federal Government as it existed prior to Wilson” If your agency didn’t exist at the turn of the 20th Century it is closing.

          30. Gender Traitor

            I’d like to subscribe to your newsletter.

          31. If your agency didn’t exist at the turn of the 20th Century it is closing.

            Another upvote.

    4. DEG

      As long as they don’t go to New Hampshire. We have enough of them.

    5. Rhywun

      I’ve said it before.

      Florida is going blue anyway. It is inevitable because all the growth is suburban. And it doesn’t matter if the growth is organic or from in-migration.

      PS. Texas too.

      1. Florida Man

        *covers ears*

        LA LA LA, I CANT HEAR YOU!

        1. AlmightyJB

          You can’t stop stupid.

          1. hayeksplosives

            If/when that happens, we will never have a non-proggis president again

      2. straffinrun

        Why would suburban growth lead to blueification (that should be a word)? The urban people moving to the suburbs?

        1. Rhywun

          I don’t have an easy answer off the top of my head but if you look at election results over time, the older suburbs are turning blue. The newer ones are often red but it’s probably only a matter of time before they go blue too.

  20. J. Frank Parnell

    #1: if he’s saying things you don’t like, shut him up by sitting on his face.

    1. Hyperion

      I can get onboard with this. *talks to wife*

  21. Playa Manhattan

    I just want to thank Beto for setting back the gun control movement more than a decade.

    That dude did a lot of damage to his own party, and all for nothing. HAHAHAHAHA!

    1. mexican sharpshooter

      Even better will be the killer deals on the excess stock the gun manufacturers made in response to a potential ban.

  22. straffinrun

    But sometimes I just want to be screwed, if you know what I mean.

    *Wink, wink, nod, nod, elbow nudge, raise eyebrow*

  23. Florida Man

    I have a theory. Your healthiness is inversely proportional to the number of lies you tell to your doctor. I only lied about my coffee consumption, thus I must be pretty healthy. Well, coffee and my soul crushing nihilism.

    1. Jarflax

      My theory is your healthiness is inversely connected to how many times you have seen a doctor in the last 20 years.

      1. Florida Man

        I can confirm there are lots of very sick people that “have no health problems they’re aware of” because they’ve never been diagnosed.

        Me: how long have you been diabetic & have hypertension.

        Patient: I’m not.

        Me: well your blood sugar is 400 and you BP 210/110, so…you are.

    2. Count Potato

      So you are paying him in meth?

      1. Florida Man

        Rare turtle eggs

        1. Spudalicious

          Mmmm, turtle egg omelets.

        2. Trigger Hippie

          To be fed to the even rarer snakes, right?

  24. commodious spittoon

    I’m currently getting help and making a lot of progress but this leads me to ask..is there any hope for me in the dating world?

    Being alone isn’t a death sentence.

  25. straffinrun

    STEVE SMITH SUDDENLY REMEMBER PREVIOUS APPOINTMENT!

    All the STEVE SMITH backstory led to this one joke and I, for one, think it was worth the wait.

    1. Rhywun

      #metoo

      1. Chafed

        Count me in.

    2. AlmightyJB

      Great Avatar. Lol.

      1. straffinrun

        It was done in response to a Q post, if you know what I mean.

        1. Jarflax

          Lol, I am so unobservant. I just read that comment and then actually looked. I assume he is moaning BOObs?

  26. Viking1865

    In the Air Force, they spend hours sipping tea from bone china cups in air conditioned salons. They use this time to compose music.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gQAmvKMGUko

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qau8Wiv7Aas

    1. Derpetologist

      I’ll just leave this here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zkoXYHsDd9M

      How the different branches eat cereal

      1. A Leap at the Wheel

        I was expecting the marines bowl to be full of crayons.

      1. mikey

        And this old chestnut

        “If you give the command “SECURE THE BUILDING”, here is what the different services would do:

        The NAVY would turn out the lights and lock the doors.

        The ARMY would surround the building with defensive fortifications, tanks and concertina wire.

        The MARINE CORPS would assault the building, using overlapping fields of fire from all appropriate points on the perimeter.

        The AIR FORCE would take out a three-year lease with an option to buy the building.”

        1. Trigger Hippie

          My father, an ex-Air Force MP, would probably get a chuckle from that.

    2. mexican sharpshooter

      air conditioned salons

      Hey! Cut us some slack! Those are saloons, not salons.

  27. straffinrun

    “Let me tell yeeew what, this is what a faiter looks laik. This is Donald J Trump country!”

    New York billionaire getting the good ol’ folks of Mississippi to go nuts for him. This is bizarre.

  28. AlmightyJB

    Shit, just saw a mouse. Glad wife wasn’t in here:) Temp dropped a lot today so not surprised. Guess I’ll be buying traps tomorrow.

    1. Want to borrow a cat or two?

      1. blackjack

        Yup. Only mice I ever see are dead.

        1. My retard cat catches them, brings them inside not even injured and then abandons them to go lay down.

          1. Trigger Hippie

            My sister’s cat was first weaned too early, half abandoned at a farm with a group of barn cats, and had to learn to hunt to survive. By the time my sister adopted it, it was a pure fucking predator. She lives in a typical suburban area and the cat is a abnormally small female, probably because it was malnourished as a kitten. But goddman, that thing learned to hunt. It had to. In the suburbia environment at my sister’s home, I’ve seen it jump on the back porch’s railing, jump onto a low hanging outcrop of the roof, climb that, slowcrawl the peak of the house, and jump about ten feet onto a tree branch to run down and kill a squirrel. The poor little fucker never experienced a predatory land animal like that before. I was impressed.

    2. Get a zapper. I had mouse trouble and the good old victor snap traps weren’t cutting it (these mice could eat all the bait and ever get caught) so I bought some of those Tomcat single use spring things, and again never caught shit, still seeing mice and worse their leavings So I sucked it up and bought one of those electrocution machines, pricey sure, but they work caught five mices in six days and haven’t seen one since (about three weeks)

      1. AlmightyJB

        I don’t think I’ve seen those? I check it out.

      2. AlmightyJB

        Just bought one on Amazon. One day delivery. I know I have some other traps somewhere but I’m not asking my wife where they’re at tonight:)

    3. Florida Man

      Guess I’ll be buying traps tomorrow.-

      For the wife?!?

      1. Jarflax

        Man Woman Tranny threeway?

    4. Trigger Hippie

      I was in my buddy’s man cave last Sunday watching football when his fat, lazy, front clawless, twelve year old “inside” Tomcat suddenly jumped off the back of the couch, ran to the side of the beer fridge and rung a small mouse’s neck. He was so proud afterward, it was comical.

      I stopped by two days later and he was still preening and strutting.

      1. Rhywun

        Every cat I’ve had just bats a critter around with their paws until they grow bored. (These were indoor cats.)

        1. Trigger Hippie

          My buddy said it was the cat’s third kill. The first one pretty much went as you described, the second, significant wounding, this one, almost instant kill. He’s learning.

        2. blackjack

          They have to learn it at a young age and from a proven killer. My little one studied with our last cat. The big one just fights other cats mostly.

          1. Tulip

            I grew up on a farm with semi feral barn cats. They sometimes just stopped showing up, so we would get free kittens. My dad would live trap a few mice, then put the kittens, a bowl of water and the mice in the bed of a grain truck. Then leave them alone for a day or so, just checking to make sure they had water. When the mice were gone, he’d let the kittens out. They were excellent mousers.

  29. DEG

    And I’m out early. Let’s see if I feel up to yard work tomorrow.

  30. Chafed

    I’ve been stuffed in your pocket for the last hundred days
    When I don’t get my bath I take it out on the slaves
    So grease up your baby for the ball on the hill
    Polish them rockets now and swallow those pills
    And say oh Space LordSpace Lord mother mother

    I think my head is going to explode. Thank doG it’s the weekend.

    1. AlmightyJB

      Yeah, I give that song some juke box love regularly.

      1. …and totally necessary.

  31. “borderline personality disorder”

    RUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUN!!!!!!!!

  32. “How do I convey this to him without seeming like I have a problem with how things are?”

    “Honey, I love you, but sometimes I just need a deep-dicking.”

    If he gets freaked out at that, he’s gay.

    1. If he gets freaked out at that, he’s gay a pussy.

    2. Jarflax

      Or (((underendowed))), that’s right I’m referring back to the earlier thread.

        1. Jarflax

          LOL

    3. straffinrun

      Don’t get the talking dirty thing. I don’t want a chick that is dirtier than me or at least pretend you aren’t dirtier than me.

      1. “you aren’t dirtier than me”

        Not seeing how they could ever be dirtier than you.

        1. straffinrun

          Unfair. I’m Booger from Revenge of the Nerds dirty, not Lena Dunham dirty.

  33. commodious spittoon

    Wikipedia rathole led me here.

    Dutch is an obnoxious language to listen to.

    1. straffinrun

      It’s even more obnoxious to read. It makes Welsh look like it wasn’t written by a drunk person.

      1. blackjack

        Welsh looks like it was written by a drunk, midget disney character.

    2. MikeS

      There’s only two things I hate in this world. People who are intolerant of other people’s cultures and the Dutch.”

      1. Charles Easterly
        1. MikeS

          Thank you!

          I don’t know why, but that is one of my top 50 movie lines of all time.

    3. KSuellington

      Dutch is a funny language with lots of great idioms and funny sayings.

      Voor het zingen de kerk uit

      One of my favorites, it literally means “before the singing starts, get out of church.” Because after the singing starts the collection plate goes around. What it means in common usage is, “pull out before you cum.”

      There’s a bunch of other funny ones.

      1. hayeksplosives

        I like the Russian saying, referring to food shortages, “A mouse hanged itself in the fridge.”

        1. Sir Digby

          Or, the old “There is no truth in News, and, no news in Truth.”

        2. KSuellington

          Good one there.

        3. That’s a good one and the first time I’ve heard it. The internet confirms that’s a thing. I’m not sure what to make of the fact that I learned about it from an American.

    4. My dad went on his LDS mission to Holland. He was there for 3 years.

      He taught me a little Dutch when I was little, but I lost it.

      1. KSuellington

        I lived in the NL for two and a half years. I really had a great time there and loved the place. The climate in the winter (meaning October to May) sucks and is really dreary and gray.

        Here’s another fun one:

        Wat heb ik nou aan mijn fiets hangen?

        “What is hanging off my bike now.” Meaning, “dammit, what more could possibly go wrong now.?”

        1. LOL

          I was there in August 1988 with my family. I remember a few things about it. One is how absolutely gorgeous Appeldoorn is. The other is how much my dad loves Indonesian food, a taste he acquired while he was there, and that he missed it all those years.

          The rest of us passed. And the pickled herring. We passed on that too.

          1. KSuellington

            It has some absolutely fairy tale cities and towns. I biked from one end of it to the other and back again. Lived in Amsterdam the whole time, which is a magical wonderful city. It has the hedonism reputation, but it is just a beautiful, cool city. I miss it.

          2. I would love to go back, but if I ever go to Europe again, I want to go places I haven’t been. Husband’s part Italian, so he wants to go there. I haven’t been there.

            MY priority, though, is Spain. I fell in love with the IDEA of Spain when I was 20 and first heard Concierto de Aranjuez. Now, my dad ridiculed me for falling in love with a country I’d never been to from one piece of music (he also told me not to like jazz, but whatevs), but I did. That piece STILL gives me chills.

            But that wasn’t the only thing that did it. Kansas City has a district modeled after old Seville, Spain, and I love that district. So between that and the music, it was a lock for me.

            So I want to go to Spain and if I only get to go to Andalusia, that will be fine.

          3. KSuellington

            You should go to Spain and you should absolutely go to Andalusia. Here is one of my favorite Spaniards playing there. I’m sure you know the piece.

            https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=lCeebWgjrrU

          4. I love that. So romantic.

            I want to go to the bullfights and watch flamenco dancers and walk around old Seville that looks like my home and eat good food and tour the Alhambra and listen to buskers and I’m gushing and I can’t help it but there. That’s what I want to do.

        2. commodious spittoon

          *counts up on fingers*

          That’s eight months a year!

          1. KSuellington

            Heh, heh. Why do you think they love their mdma so much over there?

        1. Jarflax

          Better

          1. Spudalicious

            Uffda.

          2. Gender Traitor

            Redhead’s legs are pasty white from the knees down – noticeably paler than her thighs.

            Not that you’d have noticed.

          3. A Leap at the Wheel

            So what? Women have a lot of controlling beauty standards that men don’t give a shit about.

          4. Gender Traitor

            That’s actually rather reassuring.

          5. BakedPenguin

            Huh, that’s true. It’s wholly irrelevant, but it’s true.

          6. commodious spittoon

            I noticed some seriously unsettling blotches. Like, maybe needs to see a skin doctor.

            Never mind, it’s my monitor.

          7. Spudalicious

            Um. I didn’t until you said that. Changes nothing.

          8. Jarflax

            Yeah, that chick is hot and looks fun. I’d hold her knife.

    1. Jarflax

      Jesus, half those girls look like zombies, or at least heroin addicts.

    2. AlmightyJB

      Those hipbones. Nom.

    3. MikeS

      Oy vey! Yes, please.

      1. Jarflax

        Are you and JB insane? The girl to the outside is searching for brains to eat, and the other two brunettes aren’t much better. The blonde could be hot if someone gave her a sammich.

        1. straffinrun

          Agreed. They look like they got a hairless cat in a triangle choke.

        2. AlmightyJB

          Send all your hot skinny rejects my way.

          1. Jarflax

            It’s not the skinny, it’s the eyes.

          2. AlmightyJB

            They could use some eye make-up but that’s true of all women. I’m on my phone so I can barely see their eyes anyways. Plus, I’ll be too busy gnawing on those hip bones.

          3. A Leap at the Wheel

            Dude that’s how they hunt. When you aren’t looking, they will use their grave cold, steel hard fingers to pull out your spine.

          4. AlmightyJB

            Go on…..

          5. A Leap at the Wheel

            And then, like, eat your brain for sustenance. I thought you understood how zombies work.

          6. AlmightyJB

            Hawt

        3. MikeS

          Maybe I’m just glad he posted some girlies with less that a D-cup.

          Also, the blonde don’t need no sammich, she’s hot AF as-is.

          1. Sir Digby

            girlies with less that a D-cup.

            Oh, Mike…. Have you not heard, “More tiddy for Daddy”?

          2. MikeS

            “More than a handful is a waste”

            Sorry, HiEx. ?

          3. Sir Digby

            More than a handful mean ‘use more hands’.

          4. hayeksplosives

            Sir Digby gets it.

          5. Sir Digby

            Sir Digby gets it.

            ::crosses fingers::

            On second thought, I probably shouldn’t, if I want full use of said hands…

          6. Chafed

            Your wife doesn’t know about this site does she?

    4. Chafed

      They should be sexy but they look like hostages and/or zombies. This was taken on Jeffrey Epstein’s island wasn’t it?

  34. straffinrun

    Why “nationalism”? Why not “statism” as in by state? Our “countyism”? “Cityism”? “Blockism”? “Familyism”? We’ve got “individualism” and “nationalism” but nothing in between.

    1. AlmightyJB

      There all just Tribalism. In-group vs the Other. As it has been since we were in trees.

      1. straffinrun

        It’s kind of hard to murder people when you can’t blame them for things that other people did.

        1. Jarflax

          Historically, and prehistorically when the ‘other’ showed up it was to take your stuff, kill you, and rape your woman. I think the only way to get past fear of the other is to decide that the ‘other’ is not actually other. In other words, if they do not assimilate into your culture you will always perceive them as a threat.

        2. AlmightyJB

          You go back to the Old Testament. The In-group, the Hebrews, must obey the 10 Commandments but only within the the group. For the Other, you must drive them out of their lands. Kill the men, enslave the women and children. Why? Because it’s your land to take or because they sacrifice to the wrong Sky/Volcano God. The history of the world is the the history of war.

          1. straffinrun

            I’m pretty familiar with being the other and that is exactly why I hate what the left is doing. I know with near 100% certainty that it will backfire and cause that which they claim to be against. Many first generation immigrants could tell them that.

          2. AlmightyJB

            Their goal is still collectivism and totalitarianism. The want to create the new faceless, soulless Soviet man. But first they have to take away your identity. Your culture (by making it evil), your gender (by eliminating it) , your ability to think (through brainwashing and cancel culture). Like North Korea, where you don’t exist as a person and where there is no way to know what’s real except for your fear. You know that’s real.

          3. straffinrun

            Probably why they hate stoicism. You can’t scare a stoic unless they let you.

          4. AlmightyJB

            Also why they hate individualism and competitiveness.

          5. Damn that’s some dark shit.

    1. Jarflax

      Trump rallies motivate the progs to fake hate crimes? For evidence I cite the fact that every high profile hate crime I know of turned out to be fake?

    2. AlmightyJB

      The rallies were the hate crimes.

    3. KSuellington

      Hatecrimapalooza.

      We need more lovecrime.

      1. commodious spittoon

        Warren’s miniluv will see to it.

  35. MikeS

    @ Trashy: Have you ever gotten a line on why Eyepiece causes a page refresh when clicking on the reply button? It doesn’t always happen; only after a certain amount of time…seems like 5-ish minutes.

    1. I thought that was an unresolved site thing. I’m not sure what could cause it from the Eyepiece side, but if folks without Eyepiece aren’t experiencing it, I’ll do some investigating.

      1. MikeS

        Thanks. I thought I’d seen other Eyepiece users comment on it before. And it doesn’t happen to me if I disable Eyepiece.

        Not that the SUPREME OVERLORD doesn’t have better things to do…

        1. It appears to have something to do with the new comments being loaded in. I’ll figure it out because it’s been annoying me for months and I simply didn’t realize that it was my own fault. ?

          1. MikeS

            That’s awesome!

            Also, it just happened to me when I tried to reply to you. ?

          2. Well, I have some good news and some bad news. The good news is I found the issue. There’s a script that runs when the page first loads that overrides the default reply button behavior (which is to reload the page). Comments loaded after the initial page load don’t get the benefit of that script, thus the reload issue.

            The bad news is that it’s gonna take me a while to fix it. Ima gonna have to save it for another day.

          3. MikeS

            As long as you know about it (and are annoyed by it too!)

            I brought it up some months back and at the time you were sure it wasn’t Eyepiece…so progress! 😉

          4. Technically it’s not a bug, but a lack of a feature…. okay it’s a bug, but a very weird one that is specific to the interaction of this particular wordpress commenting plugin with the particular method i used to update the comments.

            Either way, I’m glad you gave me the imperative to find it. I’d have gone nuts after too much more of the random refreshing.

          5. MikeS

            Yeah, I’ve wanted to throw my mouse through my wall more than once because of it.

            Glad you sniffed out the cause. And thanks again for Eyepiece. I really like it a lot!

          6. Rhywun

            FWIW, I have never seen this issue.

            But reading your comment again makes it sound like the OP has “dynamic refresh” turned on, maybe…?

            I don’t use that.

          7. MikeS

            “The OP”?

            I HAVE A NAME!!!11!!

          8. Rhywun

            I’m lazy and drunk-adjacent. Give me a break.

          9. MikeS

            “drunk-adjacent”

            I like that. I need to try and remember that.

            And yes, I do use Dynamic Comment Refresh. After Preview, it’s one of the top features (IMHO) of Eyepiece.

          10. Rhywun

            It doesn’t work with my workflow at all.

            Sometimes that feature turns itself on (I suspect with a background plugin refresh?) and messes with me.

  36. Lachowsky

    Man, today was fun. I took the wife and kids to Fayetteville. We had a good time, but damn the cops up there. Those fuckers pulled me over twice. I argued like a motherfucker with them, but both times they gave me a ticket to the razorback game.

    1. straffinrun

      Putting the pig in woopigsuey.

      1. Lachowsky

        It’s pretty terrible on the football side of things up there right now. And for the past 7 years. Its embarrassing, really.

        Baseball is just around the river’s bend. We will be ok.

    1. AlmightyJB

      Those people are Russian stooges.

    2. Jarflax

      Two images after your link, how the hell do you get a short running through the cooler door?

      1. AlmightyJB

        Ground came off?

      2. Lachowsky

        Grounding is important, my friends.

        If the case isn’t grounded, you become the ground when you touch it.

        Electricity 101.

      3. Dad Escaped Infantry

        Moisture exacerbates other defects: it’s easier to become the round leg if some dirty water is involved. Food workers (grocery, restaurants) get electrocuted all the time because of wet equipment. Equipment that’s cold for food condenses moisture; a bit of dirt or food, and that water becomes a decent conductor.

        So many things go wrong in a small operation. Extension cords are a huge exposure: equipment is added over the years, extensions are added, and they just get abused, nicked up. Guys have lots of devices plugged to outlets instead of hard-wired to a gang box on a disconnect or a breaker.

        People ignore all kinds of things, rolling over them, stepping on them, until something hot comes in contact with a conductor. Then everyone is shocked that anything went wrong.

  37. BakedPenguin

    Someone had a Monster Magnet video up above. Meh, whatevs, See You In Hell.

    1. Chafed

      I have name you know.

      1. Jarflax

        Did that chafe you?

        1. Chafed

          Greatly.

          1. Sir Digby

            He has greatly name. A hugely name, even.

    1. AlmightyJB

      Lol. Nice:)

    1. AlmightyJB

      That’s a lot of sail.

  38. straffinrun

    This damn black market Falun Gong liver isn’t any good.

    1. AlmightyJB

      You ruined your new one too? Damn alchy! Switch to beer at least.

    2. Sir Digby

      They aren’t meant for low-chi bodies, straff.

      1. straffinrun

        Lo-chi. Let’s hope Yang gets the nomination because Trump would have a great nickname for him.

        1. Sir Digby

          My work partner is all-in for Yang.

        2. AlmightyJB

          Lol

  39. commodious spittoon

    She escaped the war unscathed despite a close call in 1943 when a Japanese submarine was spotted. Evidently as a fast-moving barque under a strong and fair wind, she did not interest the submarine’s commander.

    Sail ships at a time when industrialized combat was taking lives at an astronomical rate.

    Intricate machines are being built to decipher the captured intelligence between empires using maths the implications of which I can’t properly understand, let alone work out myself.

    And that’s just the cryptography of the age. I don’t even understand how they managed to figure out tonnage for a wind-driven vessel.

    All this, almost eighty years ago.

    It’s marvelous.

    1. wchipperdove

      I can’t jack it to this post. Or can I?

  40. Upthread, romance novels were mentioned as being porn for women/unreasonable expectations women have for men, whatever blah blah blah. Then we were talking about the blue-i-fication of the country.

    I can’t argue that women are more likely to agitate for social change. The abolitionists (let’s guesstimate half women) were the squeaky wheel. They got their way. The suffragettes were the squeaky wheel. They got their way. The prohibitionists were the squeaky wheel. They got their way. Now we have the SJWs (I’ll let this term encompass proponents of socialist/fascist/totalitarian regimes), who are the squeaky wheel and they are getting their way.

    Abolition led to Civil War. Prohibition led to organized crime.

    Yes, the SJWs are going to get their way, and they will get it good and hard.

    But the long squiggly path my logic took to bring all these things together is this: When men stop being men, doing manly things, having manly occupations … When they are pent up in offices and getting restless but don’t know why … When the tribalism of sports is the only thing they have to express their masculinity, there are going to be women who look at the world and go, WTF, dudes? Man up.

    My church breeds men of stoic gentility. Not an alpha in the bunch— You think. Then you find the lawyers. Better yet, you find the litigators. Socially acceptable rampant aggression. That’s where they go— The courtroom. Or the boardroom. Somebody emasculated Mittens, but he didn’t make all that money without having some balls. You start to look deeper at the occupations these dudes choose and you think, “Oh, there is a man underneath all those quiet, respectful tones.”

    I have come to believe that the men in romance novels are billionaires or pirates or vampires because they’re a symbol of power. Manly men. There are romance novel heroes who are normies and just chill until he has to break out the beast, but it’s there. We married women love our dudes and don’t want them to change, but what we also like is to believe that there are men who can and will lash the world with testosterone and still be good lovers, fathers, partners, and human beings.

    We like shadowy men, too, but we want to see them be at peace in the company of their women (and maybe children), and want to become better men in his woman’s eyes. We don’t like bad men. We like anti-heroes. They can be tamed a little, but never broken, never emasculated, never weakened, and never compromised.

    We want to see powerful men who are not philandering dickwads who drown their secretaries and get away with it, who kill everybody with a little bit of dirt on them, who don’t have to be completely crooked and compromised to get anywhere in life, and who aren’t sticking their cods and cigars in any cunte they see. And if they DO do that, then they feel remorse. Is there a good manly man under there? No? He’s the villain. Yes? He’s the anti/hero.

    Romance novel heroes are just an idealized manifestation of what women generally find attractive about men.

    The other thing about romance novels is that you never have to suffer through the pain and monotony and grind of becoming successful.

    Porn? Sure. But it’s not because of the sex scenes.

    1. Dammit, I labored over that post and still didn’t get across what I mean.

      1. RegicidalManiac

        I think you got more across than you realized. That’s probably worth a full blown post, though, rather than a late-night comment on a Friday when we’re all drunk. Or drunk-adjacent.

        1. mikey

          Agreed.

    2. straffinrun

      Hate to steer this back to where I live, but it’s what I know. Marriages here are failing for some of the reasons you mentioned. A samurai shouldn’t be crammed onto a commuter train. Also, and I’ve heard this first hand from married guys here, the mother in law is failing in her role. Traditionally speaking, their job was to rip their daughters a new asshole if they started complaining about their husbands for trivial things. My wife’s grandma chewed her out at a family dinner for just hitting me playfully. “You NEVER hit your husband!” Made my wife stand up and give me a formal apology in front of everyone. Older women enabling bitching by younger women. *SMDH*

      1. straffinrun

        IOW, it’s all women’s fault. 😉

      2. A samurai shouldn’t be crammed onto a commuter train.

        That.

        As for the mothers, I think that may be more true in Japan than here. Here, the girls just leave or kick the dudes out or go file for divorce, not go running home to mommy. If they run to anybody, it’s to their girlfriends.

        1. straffinrun

          The mother in law should be telling them to tough it out and figure out the problem if the son in law isn’t a bad guy, no? WTF are the mothers of these flighty, flaky chicks telling them?

          1. Whose mother is telling who what?

            Because of MY childhood, I will tell you this: If I had a MIL who tried to lecture me she’d get her face slapped and thrown out of my house. I would NEVER put up with a MIL who tried to put me through the same hell my gma put my mother through and MY FATHER LET HER!

            Coward. Pussy.

          2. straffinrun

            My bad. The wife’s own mother should know when her own daughter is getting crazy. The dude’s mom? He’ll no.

          3. straffinrun

            This is Aso true for the father of the husband. “You treat your wife poorly and I’ll smack ya myself.”

          4. Okay, that was what I thought you meant but I confused myself.

            My mom did run back home right after she got married and her mother sent her back immediately.

            I also put that in the prohibition book. Heroine can’t go running back to “mom” when she has a disagreement with her husband.

          5. Gender Traitor

            Happily, this was not my experience, but I get the impression that the Western mother-in-law stereotype-with-lotsa-grounding-in-truth believes the little tramp who conned Mommy’s widdle man into marrying her isn’t good enough and never will be. In other words, the MIL is not training her DIL not to criticize her husband – the MIL is criticizing the DIL. This follows when the Mom didn’t do her job to train her son to be a strong, independent man.

          6. straffinrun

            I really fucked up what I meant to say and I’m the not drunk one. Arghh. Example: My wife’s mother sticks up for me even though I’ve never asked for it or encouraged it. She knows when her daughter is being a bitch because she raised her. My brother, who also lives here, will call me out if I’m being a prick to my wife. That’s the dynamic that works.

          7. Agreed. That is a good dynamic.

          8. straffinrun

            I’ve never said a bad word to the wife about ANY of her family or relatives. Some are kind of ducked up, but it sure as hell isnt my job to point out what she already knows.

          9. My mom has a saying, “A girl is a daughter all of her life. A boy is a son until he takes a wife.”

            Brother #1’s wife was hostile from the beginning. NONE of us likes her and my mom is the most tolerant of her of all of us. Then my bro got into a bit of trouble and my mom bailed them out so my SIL now behaves more appropriately.

            Brother #2’s wife is on the spectrum. She can be annoying, but she’s super smart and we all have our mentall illnesses in this family.

            My mom loves my husband. She certainly talks to him more than she talks to me. LOL

          10. straffinrun

            I’d say most failed marriages are because they become islands without any healthy support from the larger family or people in the larger family are pouring poison into the ears of the husband or wife ala Iago.

    3. Jarflax

      The issue I was hoping to discuss upthread with my provocative, and unfair in the specific, but also true in the aggregate, comment about women voting and progressivism was less about agitation for social change (which is a valid point) than about women’s (I know I know I am collectivizing) desire for a protector for their children. That tendency, I believe, leads women to vote for big government, for comprehensive regulation of virtually everything, for laws that ban bad scary things, and for welfare safety nets. Women seem (witness the romance novels) to desire strong independent males, but they then vote for programs that ‘protect’ their children and by so doing coddle those children greatly reducing the chance that their sons grow up to be strong and independent.

      Males like adventure, because wars are exciting and soldiers and cops kill those bad other people that we are genetically driven to get before they get us and confronting the threat has evolutionarily been a winning strategy.

      Women like safety and a strong protector/provider, because when you average 70% the size of the other sex, have to spend 9 months carrying a baby in the womb and a decade geting them to the point where they can even begin to feed themselves you are psychologically predisposed to think in terms of threats and food providers.

      This works fine when you are wandering around a desert, or even living on an isolated farm, but when you live in cities it gets distorted into male voting patterns being about vicarious adventures and female voting patterns being about Government as idealized husband, both of which are terrible things from a liberty perspective.

      1. Jarflax

        Damn I shouldn’t try to say things this complex when I am buzzed, I lose track of the grammar and rhythm inside sentences, but I think my fatalistic point may get across.

        1. MikeS

          “Damn I shouldn’t try to say things this complex when I am buzzed drunk-adjacent…”

          FIFY

      2. I would then say that women may vote for government protection because they don’t trust that their men can do it.

      3. straffinrun

        You can’t fill a hole with nothing.

        /Zen wisdom

    4. wchipperdove

      To be fair, you’ve probably thought about this a LOT more than any of the rest of us.

    5. Gender Traitor

      When men stop being men, doing manly things, having manly occupations … When they are pent up in offices and getting restless but don’t know why

      A motif I’ve started to notice in the little fiction writing I’ve done is the hero who entered a “profession” and discovered that he hates it, so he abandons it in favor of an occupation that allows him to work with his hands. I’m sure a shrink would have a field day with me for that one.

      I don’t write about billionaires – my heroes keep turning out to be broke. That’s probably just because I’m a moron.

      1. wchipperdove

        I’ve read a lot of biographies of different people. Always, always, the most interesting parts are when the person is younger and struggling to be successful. He/she may accomplish great things later on, but their life in general is never as romantic again.

      2. Have you noticed my dudes do stuff with their hands also? I made a very sharp point of it in Lion’s Share, why these rich dudes were out playing in cement and sheetrock dust.

        1. Sir Digby

          Have you noticed my dudes do stuff with their hands also?

          Heh…

          1. Gender Traitor

            Dang! I thought sure that was gonna be The Pointer Sisters.

          2. Sir Digby

            Well, I suppose “Neutron Dance” is the desired outcome….

            /ahem

          3. Gender Traitor

            Not the one I had in mind, but you do you. (Euphemism?)

          4. Sir Digby

            Not the one I had in mind

            Yeah, I figured “Slow Hand”, but, I was just having fun.

          5. Gender Traitor

            Yeah, I figured you were having fun, ‘cuz that’s what you do. ; )

          6. Gender Traitor

            Your nickname wasn’t “Slow Hand”? I haz a disappoint! : (

          7. Sir Digby

            “Funster” includes all manner of fun.

            Plus, “variable speed Diggy” isn’t quite as…poetic.

          8. Sir Digby

            Also-

            I haz a disappoint! : (

            Story of my life…::sigh::

          9. variable speed Diggy

            Uh huuuuuuuuuhhhhhhhh

          10. Sir Digby

            Well, to be fair, it was usually either, “Is he going to make a move?”, or, “…Already??”

            But, there were definitely various speeds.

        2. slumbrew

          So they’re all Francisco d’Anconia & Hank Reardon?

          /snark

          1. LOLOLOLOL

            Hank Rearden, yes.

            I actually had one of my heroines come out and say she was looking for a Hank Rearden.

          2. Jarflax

            I’ve only read one of her books, but Yes. Except one of them is Ragnar Daneskjold, even if Mojeaux won’t admit it, at least when he is being artistic.

          3. You won’t believe me, but I never made that connection. ???

          4. Jarflax

            Really? I thought the whole duel persona thing was a deliberate nod to him, and he is definitely a bit of a pirate/philosopher type.

          5. Nope. I never paid much attention to Ragnar. Wyatt was utterly forgettable. Francisco was sloppily drawn, but his willingness to just let Dagny go with an “Okay, babe, whatever,” always annoyed me.

            I was all about Hank and therefore must pretend the last third of the book didn’t happen.

          6. Jarflax

            I always assumed Frisco was gay.

          7. He was Dagny’s first lover.

            Or do you mean that’s why he was so cavalier about letting her go?

          8. Jarflax

            I mean because he talks about Galt the way a 17 year old girl talks about the College Man who seduced her at last night’s party.

          9. OMG YOU ARE SO RIGHT!!!!

            Maybe that’s why he always confused me.

        3. Cannoli

          This is one area where I’m weird. Growing up, my Mom did all the construction around the house because she’s a mechanical engineer and enjoys that kind of work, whereas my Dad works full-time and would rather yield to comparative advantage and hire someone.

          Now I find myself having a similar dynamic with Mr. Cannoli. He didn’t grow up helping his parents with construction projects, and while he’s willing to learn, he’s taking classes and working full-time, so it’s usually easier for me to just do it myself.

          1. I also do the handy stuff around the house because I like it. Or, I DID like it before my shoulders went kerplooey.

            Mr. Mojeaux works on the cars.

            Hiwever, I found out an interesting thing about my younger neighbors, the younger SAHMs with kids. THEY ALSO do all the handy work while their husbands go pull down the paycheck.

            This is apparently a Pinterest-spawned trend. If a chick wants something pretty, she’d just as soon build it herself.

        4. Gender Traitor

          Have you noticed my dudes do stuff with their hands also?

          Yes – I remember one of they guys (Bryce?) building a stone or brick wall. Sexy AF.

          1. Yes. Bryce is a hobby stonemason. Sebastian carves wood. Mitch mixes alloys. Elliott wants to be a farmer. Emilio plays with chemicals. Etienne builds time machines. Jack does handyman work on his folks’ house. Fin does construction. But Knox, Eric, and Trey don’t do anything like that. Knox and Eric have sports hobbies, but Trey doesn’t have any hobbies at all.

          2. Finn*

            Shit. I’m not even close to drunk-adjacent and forgot how to spell my own character’s name.

          3. Gender Traitor

            Fen was fin by the end of the book. ::rimshot::

          4. Cannoli

            Trey’s day job probably gets him his danger and excitement fix without needing a hobby.

          5. Yeah, Trey does need quite a bit of adrenaline to keep him animates.

          6. Fen was fin by the end of the book. ::rimshot::

            LOL

            And I liked Fen, too. ?

          7. Gilmore’d.

            I need to be proofing Grimme and Bridget.

          8. Gender Traitor

            Srsly? Well, I guess Gertrude was really the unlikable one.

          9. Yes, Trudy was the villain. Fen was her weapon. He’s not without responsibility, though, especially concerning Eilis.

            I’ve known people like that, who are evil but completely amusing and they’re good company. It’s a very odd relationship to be in, even if it’s just a casual one.

            You just have to know when to cut them off.

          10. Gender Traitor

            I need to be proofing Grimme and Bridget.

            And I need to be finishing UCS’s book so I can take a deep breath and dive back into yours. All 2,205 electronic pages of it. ***GULP!*** And I need to get back to doing my own writing…

          11. Eh, don’t worry about mine. It’s probably changed a bit since I sent it.

          12. Gender Traitor

            Well, as far as I got in the chapters you posted on your site, now I HAVE to find out what happens! The length is just a bit…daunting at the moment.

      3. I don’t write broke dudes. I’m broke. I’m living it. Don’t want to live it vicariously. It hurts too much.

      4. commodious spittoon

        I’m rereading Name of the Wind for maybe the fifth time, and I just… hate… HATE… Denna. It’s just not fun rereading about Denna, or Kvothe’s improbably patient love affair with this half cocktease half Canadian girlfriend love interest.

        I’ve been single and staid for almost two years and this shit makes me want to forswear sex altogether because it’s so insensibly dumb. I hope Rothfuss never finishes this dumb story.

        1. commodious spittoon

          I don’t, really. I hope he pulls aces from his sleeve. I think the third book is half of what keeps mom alive. She has theories! She reads reddit! I didn’t ever think mom would know what a reddit is. I don’t know what a reddit is. But she’s read up on all the fun theories about the Doors of Stone.

          I think Kvothe is full of shit and deliberately made it all up.

          1. commodious spittoon
          2. LOLOLOL That was hilarious.

          3. commodious spittoon

            I love these books so much but

            Crud you, Mr. Rothfuss. Crud you so, so much. Please go crud yourself, you probably conniving piece of crud, you.

        2. Cannoli

          I have a friend who claims to use Kvothe and Denna’s relationship as a model /smh

          I do think if Doors of Stone ever does come out, that relationship is only going to get more messed up.

          1. commodious spittoon

            *TULPA SCREETCH*

          2. commodious spittoon

            Ambrose kills Denna, or something fucked up like that.

            OKAY MOVING ON to the much more interesting pastures of why Kvothe is the Kingslayer…

          3. Cannoli

            Every so often, the story casually mentions that Ambrose is nth in line for the throne, with n getting smaller each time. Ambrose is going to be the king Kvothe kills.

    6. commodious spittoon

      Well this is just impossible to jack it to. You call yourself a romance writer?

        1. MikeS

          Oh, Chapter 18.

          /yells “thanks!” from bunk

        2. commodious spittoon

          Could you summarize? In your voice? Do you have on of those raspy voices?

          1. As much as I covet Kathleen Turner’s Romancing the Stone voice, I, sadly, sound like a 12yo redneck girl who ate a dictionary.

      1. Jarflax

        You can’t jack it to Romance novels. The pacing is all wrong, it’s like it’s written for someone who has to build to an orgasm slowly or something.

        1. it’s like it’s written for someone who has to build to an orgasm slowly or something.

          “I want to fuck you, Giselle” wasn’t quick enough for you?

          1. Jarflax

            No, in that case the issue is the name. Longish story, that deserves much longer treatment because the characters were well worth describing in detail, but imagine this:

            20 year old me selling encyclopedias door to door in the dead of winter for straight commission. The sales Managers for the ‘team’ were a very smooth, but no nonsense Cuban guy who looked like a young Hector Elizondo, minus the acne scars, and Florida Man, who had a 70s pornstache and who taught me racist epithets that even Urban Dictionary doesn’t know. Them, myself, a mid twenties single mom, who I am 90% sure had been hired purely because Florida Man was hoping to ‘persuade’ her to sleep with him, and a guy who was just 18, but very much every cougar’s meat, all loaded into whatever Chevy’s equivalent to the Crown Vic was circa 1988.

            The job was Glen Gary Glen Ross, but with even less money for the sales people, so any ‘contract’ was a major bragging point. The Managers would drop us off in some neighborhood within 300 miles of Cincinnati in the morning and pick us up around 9 pm. On the day in question I had sold nothing, the mid 20s girl had sold nothing and things were tense in the car when the young guy climbs in all smiles bragging about his “double’ (sold two). The mood briefly lightens, until the details start emerging. One of his ‘sales’ is actually a “We don’t have the money right now, but fill out the form and we’ll call you tomorrow to pay for it, which if you have ever worked sales you know means no sale. The other is an ‘actual’ sale, complete with a credit app (part of our pitch was explaining that Macmillan publishing (oops did I say that) was not a finance company and therefore the interest rate on the $2k encyclopedia financing was 21% over 3 years. The Buyer’s name was Giselle, and as the Managers examined the credit app, it became clear that ol’ Giselle and her boyfriend were ‘between jobs’.

            This led to a profane diatribe about what kind of idiot would even bother to pitch (insert lengthy list of racial epithets here, the one that sticks in mind is South Alabama Bluegum, which I have never heard since) and about the value of used toilet paper compared to this ‘contract’, during which the woman’s name became Geesul. And to this day when I see Giselle I hear Geesul and am back in that car, 100 miles from home, at night, with people who would absolutely not hesitate to throw a salesperson out of the car and drive off. In fact, mid 20s girl was left on the street in Atlanta shortly thereafter (I wasn’t on that trip, so I do not know the details, but I suspect Florida Man tried to ‘persuade’ her into bed, and turned out not to have been bluffing with his persuasion technique).

          2. Oh, that’s too bad, but also very hilarious!

            Thanks for the story. You know that’s gonna wind up in a book, right?

          3. Jarflax

            By all means. One day I will actually make myself write something all the way through and try to publish it instead of writing several thousand words a day one comment at a time, but a story is not hurt by being told in multiple voices. Young Guy (I think his name was Mark, but it has been 30 years and we never talked again after I quit the job) really was cougar bait, I am not theorizing, his time in door to door sales included many afternoon delights with bored housewives, at least one of which I can vouch for personally (we were pitching the woman as a team until she suggested that she wanted to spend some time alone with him and I left, she was undressing as I packed up, and was quite Q worthy).

            My adventures were less exciting like the 6 hours I spent discussing Military History with a very cool black guy who was a professor at EMU in Ypsilanti, and the Little Old Lady, who baked me cookies on one sub zero day because I reminded her of her grandson, who never bothered to visit. You learn things about people going door to door, a surprising number of those things are positive.

          4. Sir Digby

            You learn things about people going door to door, a surprising number of those things are positive.

            This both a great quote, and quite uplifting.

            The cougar story’s not bad, either.

          5. You learn things about people going door to door, a surprising number of those things are positive.

            Seriously, write a post about that.

          6. Little Old Lady, who baked me cookies on one sub zero day because I reminded her of her grandson, who never bothered to visit.

            That’s going in my vampire book.

          7. Sir Digby

            That’s going in my vampire book.

            Blood cookies??

          8. Jarflax

            I just told most of the good stories here lol. There are some darker stories. Like the way I finally quit that job (I say finally and laugh, it still seems like I did the job for a long time, but I actually only worked for them for about 3 months).

          9. Jarflax

            That’s going in my vampire book.

            NO! She was a perfect little old lady! She answered the door, I started to pitch her and she said, very sadly, that her kids were grown and even her grandkids were adults, and then said I looked cold (I was in a suit and overcoat and it was sub zero, so cold was an understatement) and asked me in to warm up, then made me cocoa, and when she saw she had no cookies, she baked me chocolate chip cookies while we chatted!

            This was one of my lessons in what people are like. If you are ever freezing find a small house with a well kept lawn that gives off the old lady vibe and knock on the door. If you are friendly and polite you will get cookies!

          10. NO! She was a perfect little old lady!

            Oh my vampire won’t eat him but she is a little old lady even if she doesn’t look it and she’s lonely and her grandson doesn’t visit her because he’s dead.

      2. Sir Digby

        cs, you want the Illustrated Guide to Romance Novels.

        1. commodious spittoon

          Drinking half a leftover bottle of cab sauv that’s apparently $26 a bottle.

          That’s pretty mastercard.

          1. Sir Digby

            That’s pretty mastercardcharge

            Go old skool

  41. Derpetologist

    When I was a wee lad, I looked forward to visiting my grandparents- mostly because they had cable. I loved the show David the Gnome.

    For a kid’s show, it had a lot of mature themes. In the last episode, David and his wife accept that they must die.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JKttx8SgnHA

    Produced by Harvey Weinstein and his bro.

    1. Sir Digby

      Welp, there go the feels…

  42. wchipperdove

    I want to read a book by Dave Weigel – The Show That Never Ends, about prog rock. Should I bite the bullet and order it on Amazon?

    1. Jarflax

      I want to say pirate it, but stealing from assholes is still stealing, so go to the library…

      1. wchipperdove

        Meh. I do want a paper book, though. I’ll just buy it. The first page or so sounded OK.

    2. Shirley Knott

      It’s sitting in my ‘to read’ pile. The friend who loaned it to me was satisfied, and he’s extremely knowledgeable about rock, bands, prog, and so on.
      Give your library a try, they may have it, or be able to get it through inter-library loan. Michigan has MelCat, which gives me access to pretty nearly every library in the state through my local library. It’s a godsend.

  43. Chafed

    As mentioned above it has been one of those weeks. I’m pairing Bulleit Rye with some leftover candy. Peanut Snickers and peanut M&Ms to be more precise. Can confirm I enjoyed it.

    Interesting side note, I bought our Halloween candy this year. Everything I bought has peanuts. My wife took a look and couldn’t understand my choices. Spawn 2 looks and declares its the best candy we ever had. I love that kid.

    1. Sir Digby

      Is she anti-legume?

      1. Chafed

        No. She just has shitty taste in candy.

        1. Sir Digby

          Considering your earlier question, far be it from me to take sides

          ::under-arm fist bump for Chafed::

          1. Chafed

            You can take sides. My wife doesn’t hang out here either.

          2. Sir Digby

            If I could, I’d be the spokesboy for Reese’s PBC. Of course, I’d get tired of it quickly. Then, after a week or so, I’d be back to shilling good ‘n’ hard.

          3. Chafed

            Looks like all the sex talk upthread got to you.

          4. Sir Digby

            What are you talking about–I started it!

            OK, I jumped in with both feet. Still…

            An ode to upthread.

          5. Gender Traitor

            Got a Reese’s Outrageous bar from the office Spreader of Halloween Cheer and Carbs. Chocolate/Peanut Butter orgasm.

          6. Sir Digby

            Got a Reese’s Outrageous bar

            Well??? How was it??

          7. The office spreader?!

          8. Gender Traitor

            Chocolate/Peanut Butter orgasm.

            It was good for me. Even though I know it wasn’t good for me.

          9. Sir Digby

            Ain’t that the way it always is?

            /Figured the ‘orgasm’ referred to the ‘spreader’

            //that’s my story, and I’m sticking to it.

          10. Gender Traitor

            I’m sticking to it.

            The peanut butter IS a bit sticky, isn’t it?

          11. Sir Digby

            Indeed. 😉

          12. Chafed

            ::fist bump for Sir Digby::

    2. Rhywun

      Peanuts in candy is wrong.

      Peanuts are salty snacks. End of story.

      1. No, no, salt AND sugar AND crunch.

        Mmmmm … Payday.

        1. Trigger Hippie

          This chick gets it. Vanilla Bean Salted Caramel Ice Cream is the poo, yo.

      2. Trigger Hippie

        You’re a sick, twisted, Individual. The only person I’ve ever known who’s not allergic to peanuts was a roommate from Northern Ireland. Say, you have red hair, yes? Is this some form of ethnic defect that I not aware of? 😉

        1. Trigger Hippie

          *not allergic to yet still hated*

          Piss off, I’m tipsy.

          1. Sir Digby

            Right; pissing off…

          2. Rhywun

            No idea what you’re accusing me of 😛

            I love peanuts. Just not in whole form in candy.

            And I don’t have red hair.

          3. Trigger Hippie

            Really? I could have sworn you have outed yourself as a ginger at some point.

            And my reflex to Northern Europeans hating peanuts, especially of the redheaded variety, is mostly due to personal experiences and YouTube videos of Irish and Scottish people having a violent physical reaction to that faux nut’s taste. I used to give my roommate shit over it, because, you know, racial stereotypes are funny.

        2. Sir Digby

          NOT allergic to peanuts?

          1. Chafed

            I was thinking the same thing. I think it’s the booze and/or weed talking.

          2. Sir Digby

            The man who uses a RANDY! WATSON! gif for an avatar has earned a break on my part, so, no harm, no foul.

      3. Chafed

        Sometimes you disappoint me Rhywun.

  44. Trigger Hippie

    Fun With Homicide Tracker: https://www.kshb.com/news/homicide-tracker

    Guess where I lived for nearly a decade?

    Hint: currently live north of there in a ‘not murdered’ zone.

    *burp*

    Well, I’ve probably confused a great deal of you and probably embarrassed myself with half thought out ramblings in the process. Luckily, I’m too drunk and stoned to be more than cavalier about what I’ve said this evening…toodles!!!

    1. Gender Traitor

      Nighty night!

    2. Jarflax

      Click the dot to learn more about the victim and the case. The blue dots denote male victims, red dots female victims, and green dots are those yet to be identified. In some cases, the addresses are approximate.

      Do they identify as Transvital?

  45. This bitch just crashed my warm fuzzies.

    Visited Amish village in the USA yesterday. Still Amish people live without electricity, without cars,still they ride horse carriages, wear 17th century’s clothes. They use no radio, no television, no computer, no musical instrument,no phone! Stupid religion!

    1. Sir Digby

      No “e” required for her.

    2. Chafed

      Fortunately, she appears to be getting scorched in the comments.

      Replying to @taslimanasreen
      I’m here feeling that if you’d chosen to live without a phone, we’d all be better off.

    3. Gustave Lytton

      A sad and pathetic person.

    4. hayeksplosives

      Ironically, the results are the same as what their global warming religion would bring about.

      Crucial difference being that the Amish don’t want to use the power of the state to force that lifestyle on us all.

      1. Sir Digby

        If only Greta had bought an Amish yacht…

  46. Chafed

    Eddie Trunk played this just a moment ago. I miss Dio.

    1. Plinker762

      One of the very few performer deaths which affected me.

      1. Chafed

        Same here.

  47. Gustave Lytton

    I think part of the problem with men now is a lack of small scale violence. We have an asshole in our larger workgroup. He looks really good on the surface and says all of the right things, but he’s a liar and lazy. He’s pissed off other people to the point where others moved offices. Thirty years ago, he would have fallen down in the parking lot after work. Repeatedly, until he reined in that crap.

    Similar with bums. Ten years ago, if you told one to move outside of the office, they were already beating feet. Now, they cuss and yell back. I had a lady come up to my window screaming yesterday after being told to pick her sizable pile of crap. No fear anymore.

    1. Chafed

      Surely you know some Cybermen that can take care of her.

  48. hayeksplosives

    Ok I’ve finally caught up.
    Related to the peanut candy discussion earlier, creamy peanut butter or crunchy?

    1. Gender Traitor

      Creamy.

    2. Sir Digby

      I would think it depends on the pb delivery system.

      ::whistles down the road::

      1. Chafed

        Lol

    3. Chafed

      I’m good either way. If it’s a sandwich I want real peanut butter. Not the crappy big brand kind.

  49. Gender Traitor

    I hate to leave such pleasant company, but if I stay up any later, I’m likely to screw up my whole schedule. The good news is that most of us stateside Glibs get an extra hour to hang out tomorrow night!

    Nighty night!

    1. Sir Digby

      ‘Night.

    2. Night!!!

      I’m waiting for the Tylenol PM to kick in.

  50. Good Morning overnight glibs.

    1. Sir Digby

      Oooh…that reminds me–coffee!

    2. Gender Traitor

      Good night!

    3. Chafed

      Are really getting up to start your day? Isn’t it 2 am for you?

      1. My sleep schedule has been off for a while. I fell asleep after work and just woke up.

        1. Chafed

          I guess you’ll have plenty of uninterrupted time to write.

    1. Chafed

      So you admit gender is NOT a social construct! *twirls mustache*

      1. Sir Digby

        It would make more of an impact if it were a woman’s mustache

        1. Chafed

          Why do you hate MTF trannies?

          1. Sir Digby

            It’s a long story…..

  51. l0b0t

    Ugh… have a bad cold but it’s compounded by spending my day/night running MemTest and reinstalling Windows. Fun! I hope y’all are well.

    1. Chafed

      Sorry you are sick. May I recommend copious amounts of booze to help you sleep?

      1. l0b0t

        I’m one step ahead. Hot toddies with Earl Grey tea, honey. Lemon, and Wild Turkey 101. Also, G\d bless the vape battery. Real smoke is intolerable to my throat but smooth, creamy vape clouds are A#1.

  52. Sir Digby

    What, did everyone clear out??

    Alright–I’ll get us going again with a song.

    1. I’m sorta here, I need to re-read everything so its fresh in my mind before I start moving forward again.

      1. Spoiler – Opening Lines of “On Unknown Shores” :

        Oars slid into the water in even strokes as the launch glided to the beach. Made of the same ivory-hued wood as the ship we set out from, the small boat stood out from the dark water around us. The ship behind us, my ship, was made to the specifications of a pirate, now dead; by the Lyrina elves, now dead; and the shipwrights of Ravamaer. Most of them were now dead, too.

        1. Sir Digby

          Well, now–strokes, wood, and death…I am officially intrigued.

          /Joking aside, this does sound good.

          1. The real problem in starting a sequel that takes up with a few minutes overlap of the ending from the previous book is that the opening has to A: Not lose people who didn’t pick up the first book, and B: not bore people who just finished the first book. So in five pages (letter sized, 12 point, single spaced, closer to ten paperback pages) I reintroduced most of the main cast and started the exploration of this new land.

            I’m still reading what I already wrote,

          2. Sir Digby

            I’m still reading what I already wrote

            I know you are a professional writer (i.e. published), but, that is a really profound statement.

            Lyrical, even.

          3. It helps that it’s also true. 🙂

        2. “Those are the Greater Taur mountains. We are in the Gulf March, which borders the Esterwind Gulf.” He gestured off to the north. “In generations past they were pillaged by fur-clad sea raiders. Your appearance evoked the old stories.”

          “Seal fur is warm and waterproof,” I said.

          Iakavos gave me a look and did not translate what I said.

      2. “I’m glad you’ve still got some sense in you,” Iakavos said.

        “I would have thought you’d know me by now.”

        “Exactly, I do know you. You’re insane.”

  53. KSuellington

    It’s late nite and the stories Jarflax was telling made me think of some of the things I’ve seen in the tens of thousands of houses, mansions, apartments, condos, dwellings, crack shacks and flophouses I have had the pleasure and not so pleasure of entering into and working. Humans are a mixed lot, and seeing how people keep their home has been an education in humanity, with all its good, bad, weird and indifferent. Many great and sublime conversations with the inhabitants, and some situations and scenes that I would like to forget. It’s the nature of the business.

    1. straffinrun

      Locksmiths and proctologists booth get glimpses through amazing peepholes.

      1. Sir Digby

        Ladies and gents: KSue’s next business card motto.

        I wouldn’t mind having it on a bumper sticker, myself.

      2. KSuellington

        Heh, heh. I love it so much.

  54. straffinrun

    If I plan on going out and having just a couple cocktails I end up having 10. If I plan on having 10 I have 10. Kind of a conundrum considering I only wanna have 5,6 tonight.

    1. Five point six?

      Oh, that’s a comma.

      1. straffinrun

        Insomnia?

        1. Sort of. I got a decent amount of sleep at the wrong time. I’ve only been up about 90 minutes.

          1. straffinrun

            That puts you awake in the correct time zone.

          2. The correct time zone for being awake is the one I’m physically in.

          3. straffinrun

            We only have one time zone, so you’re fine.

          4. Yes, and it’s 3:40 in the morning here.

          5. straffinrun

            Be a good time to get some writing in, eh?

          6. I’m awake, I don’t have anywhere to be, I might as well make use of the time.

            Though, as I told Digby, I’m catching up on what’s already on the page.

          7. straffinrun

            Be with you.

    2. KSuellington

      It’s 5 somewhere. Kampai!

      1. straffinrun

        Almost. One more hour of faking work.

        1. straffinrun

          And this is how I spend my last hour of work.

          https://i.imgflip.com/3f20ea.jpg

          1. Running for president?

          2. Sir Digby

            Running for president poorly.

          3. straffinrun

            Hey!

          4. Sir Digby

            No, no–that’s a compliment, as we lot couldn’t possibly like anyone who could/would be successful at that.

            You’re our li’l Jeb…::sniff::

  55. Lackadaisical

    JFC.

    That first advice question is a doozy. Is there nothing a woman can’t complain about? When she finally dumps him this guy will have dodged a bullet.

    1. Sir Digby

      While it’s nit-picky/odd/whiny, I don’t think it’s the issue here. Her going to a public advice source–something that is “published”–is the big issue, IMO.

      You got a hang-up? Fine; we all do, in some way. But, you had to go and make it public, dincha?

      1. Lackadaisical

        If the question was sent by a bit picky guy:

        “My girlfriend loves to wake me up with blow jobs and makes me a sandwich everyday, brings the beer without having to be asked. But her pussy is too tight. How do I tell her? “

  56. Lackadaisical

    I feel sorry for the second advice seeker. her problems have little to do with dating.

  57. Tejicano

    South Africa beat the living excrement out of England in the rugby world cup 32 – 12. Dayum!

    1. Lackadaisical

      It’s amazing for England to make it to the finals, when i followed Rugby they were pretty bad.

    2. Thankfully.

      I don’t see too many South Africa sports fans on the internet, while England and Aussie fans are generally insufferable.

  58. l0b0t

    Good morning all. Hot toddy + Nyquil = good times. Or, really just passing out waiting for Memtest to complete. I’m learning again how much I dislike a fresh install of Windows 10 until I can tweak it to look like my beloved XP.