Author: Brett L

It appears that the SMITH family and ZARDOZ are going to “let” me do the afternoon links today. And before I do, I’d like to read a statement… blink,blink,blink

My fellow Glibs, I would like each of you to know that many of my best friends are cryptids. blink… blink… blink…

Cryptids have served the glibertarian cause well and honorably both in peace and in war, blink, blink, blink

and I’m sure whatever they are doing right now is to the direct benefit of the Glibertariat. Thank you.

Well, we know why THIS woman thinks nobody should have guns. The rest of us don’t let our wombs get out of position.

I mean, Trump is trying REALLY hard to get me to hate him least.

“Where can I get me some of that barbecue, you all?” Politicians attempt to play country mouse again as election pre-game commences.

Buy Hayek’s Nobel Prize, or typewriter. h/t OMWC.

I’m still sick, been sick all weekend, so here’s a sick thought for you sick freaks. Maybe y’all could crowd-source a cover of this for AOC, called “Are you sure Che done it this way?”

I lost my voice today. If found, please return. I hope everyone has a wonderful weekend. My wife and kids are probably at her mother’s by now for the weekend. And Good Old Games just released a Win 7-10 compatible version of Diablo, so if you’ll excuse me…

Drones taking Lassie’s job?

This is the kind of empathy I expect from doctors.

Do you apes want to live forever?! Well maybe take metformin and/or rapamycin.

Sorry, guys. Man its a slow news day.

Okay, just kidding. I didn’t have to make bail. I’ve just been busy fixing both of my cars, and having all of the HVAC ductwork in my house replaced. Sadly, all of my hooker and blow money is now gone. How the hell is your Thursday?

Wow. I don’t know what to say about this. Florida Cop convicted of attempted murder, manslaughter for shooting a man. Surely this is great day for actual justice when a cop can be tried and convicted the same as any other person who drives the wrong way up an exit ramp, jumps out of a car with no police markings on it, never identifies himself as a police officer, and shoots a person.

Banning speech is always wrong. Doxing is a trollistic thing to do, but let’s not make bad law to stop assholes from being assholes.

Who are we missing today?

There was a joke that was old when I was starting to drive in Houston that Texas drivers take the speed limit as a challenge, not a rule.

At least he died with someone touching his dick.

Wow, I listened to this album about a billion times in high school.

Yeah. I’ve been busy as shit today and have nothing to show for it. Well, I have an appointment to potentially get my rectum catastrophically redecorated by the Ford dealership because a wiring harness fails in a (not at all) fun and exciting way on my Expedition. And I talked to a lot of people. Meetings, meetings everywhere, and not much addressed in my actual work.How the hell is your Monday?

Bitch, what part of “I need to go to yoga to deal with my anger issues” didn’t you get?!

God must be throwing a 90’s throwback party tonight.

This is kind of how I imagine the Antifa uprising starting.

Sure, put a chip in your head. Make sure it has wi-fi or bluetooth so its firmware can be updated, too. You just went on the list of hyper-intelligent morons.

Is there anyone NOT running for President in 2020?

Oh what the hell, we’ll go with the obvious.

Hey guys, I’m not actually dead. It turns out that snow is not, in fact, fatal to Florida Man. I did need some help thawing out and getting up to normal function. Special thanks to the others who picked up for my deadbeat-can’t-even-text-to-say-I’m-not-doing-the-links ass. It’s been a heckuva a Friday on the site, and I was tempted to just skip links, but certain other contributors wield guilt like a scalpel. I was suitably shamed.

Only Florida Man would find himself in a fistfight over Tupac. For one thing, no where else has morons who thought Biggie was better.

Without “police level training” how will armed Ohio teachers learn to mag dump on the family chihuahua?

Jesse has a sad.

It’s almost as if regret in buying a home is tied to the debt-to-equity ratio of the age cohort. Nah, too simplistic. Let’s go with “most Millenials regret buying a house”.

Thankfully, I did not have to experience the fun of this video. Driving in (very) light snow was no more dangerous than driving in the rain in Central Florida.

Happy Friday to each and every one of you. Except that one guy. Stick around this weekend when Mexican Sharpshooter rises to my defense, and Paul Krugman gets taken down a notch by an independent business owner. Lots of good things in store. Me, I’m at a conference all day tomorrow. yay.

Robert Kraft gets busted for going to a massage parlor in Florida. Yes, yes. We have made all the jokes about deflating balls. Jesus, the guys richer’n hell and gets the rub’n’tug by your standard old Asian lady? What’s wrong with you man?!

He was supposed to be at a black tie affair, but wore the wrong monkey suit to the wrong address.

It seems weird to me that the Fed uses the stock and bond market as its primary gauge of what to do. On the one had, marketz!!1! on the other hand, if the more accurate valuation is not what the current valuation is, what’s the problem with volatility? Of course, not mentioned in this is that as the government’s debt to GDP ration blows past 1:1, they have an interest in keeping borrowing cheap.

It looks like Mexico isn’t the only place Americans can go for meds. Another place I’m of mixed opinions on. On the one hand, it would be great if the American market wasn’t the primary subsidizer of pharma’s R&D market. On the other hand, I have no idea what part of the total cost for developing and certifying a new drug is jumping through FDA hoops.

We’ll go throw back to my high school days here.

You know what they call the guy who got the lowest passing score on the bar exam? A lawyer. You know what they call this guy who got the lowest passing score on a Microsoft certification exam? Certified. Thank god. Hopefully, I never have to do tech certs again. I’m getting too old for this shit.

I can’t imagine why this guy is going to prison for 47 years. Couldn’t have anything at all to do with his anger management issues.

Classic Florida (young) Man. I guess it is still too soon for “shoot up the school” jokes.

All these vegans and vegetarians bitching about global warming are aggressing against my Neanderthal DNA.

I dunno about the big boat, but I’m pretty sure any five random guys with fishing boats in Florida could take on “Iran’s elite Republican Guard” navy pictured here.

RIP Peter Tork

The Tiny Terror (my 3 year old, not the one in my pants) wanted to have a 1am party. Took about an hour to get him settled down, then he was up again at 5am. I’m basically less functional than a zombie at this point of the day. Here, have some links.

The US Supreme Court seems to have indicated that civil forfeiture of a value greater than the maximum fine for the crime of which a person has been convicted is unconstitutional. It does not appear to me, not a lawyer, that the decision addresses whether or not a person must be convicted of a crime before such proceedings can be undertaken.

Looks like Andy McCabe might have spoiled the party for the Collusionists. It looks like Mueller may be issuing his report next week. The skeptic in me says that this is because the FBI has decided that they do not want any further attention on their behavior in the 2016-2017 timeframe.

Apparently teh gheyz not only infiltrated The Vatican, they run it like a shadowy cabal of Italian merchant families. Hey guys, take it from this lapsed Catholic: YOU were in charge of making sure children weren’t raped and abused. I don’t give a fuck about your sexuality because THE ENTIRE POINT OF TAKING THE VOW OF CHASTITY IS TO SUBSUME YOUR SEXUAL IDENTITY TO THE SERVICE OF THE CHURCH. It doesn’t matter if priests were raping boys or girls. Whatever good individual priests and nuns do (and I still believe there are a lot of them honoring their vows and doing good deeds in the service of the least among us), the Church itself is entirely rotten at this point.

Looks like Bernie can afford himself a 4th house.

After a rant like that, I guess I’m gonna go to Hell.

Hey guys, this one is kinda rushed because I have several errands to run this afternoon. Love ya, mean it!

Oh, Florida Man. I think this guy is old enough for a pack of angry moms to take him.

Well, this guy is a moron. The KKK is the violent wing of the Southern Democratic party.

As long as my wife and kids are still on a five day workweek, I can totally be just as productive in four days. Whose law is “work expands to fill the available time”?

Come on, SMOD!

All the talk about Winston’s Mom last night got this song stuck in my head.

Its kind of a blue Monday here. Its been gray and shitty (but warm) all day. My wife is home sick, hacking like a COPD patient taking a smoke break. But hey, it could be worse.

Hey guys, did you know that you can be a Democratic Socialist AND a Capitalist? I suppose in the same way you can be a libertarian in favor of… well, I’ll let you guys fill in the blanks.

I hope Jussie is paying attention, THIS is how you stage politically inspired violence. You know, have the police identify both the assailant, the victim, and the weapon. (I give this about an 85% chance of being true. MAGA dude is a dumbass if true. Why would you follow some dude who just drew a gun on you into the parking lot for more talk?)

AOC as the Left’s Manic Pixie Dream Girl. I fucking love it, because it is 100% true, and they sneer at that trope as simplistic and toxic masculinity defeminizing complex, strong, wimmenz.

NOPD injures five bystanders in shootout with rival gangmember.

Hit the day’s theme music!