Author: Brett L

How’s everyone today? The pestilence is still abiding at my house, with the wife probably having strep and the oldest an earache and light fever. I ran out to pick him up from school because he didn’t quite reach the threshold for having to be sent home, and if I come and get him, I can send him to school tomorrow if he’s better. Hoping the doc has space for me to slide in and get some antibiotics. Honestly, though, with the shit a five-year-old’s fingers touch every day, I’m surprised they don’t have permanent infections.

Dammit. I don’t even know how I would improve this story: Florida Man vows to destroy town with army of turtles.  h/t: Playa Manhattan

The Day Trump Broke Cher. By which I mean, arrives at a reasonable conclusion on the limits of the welfare state.

China (who has crossed its borders to attack the US in Korea in the last century) says the US treats Latin America like its backyard. It’s called the Monroe Doctrine and its been in place for a while.

From the funhouse mirror: Sudanese protest leaders demand end of ‘deep state’. I lol’d.

Here’s a song about turtles. And probably drugs.

Hey guys, how’s it going? Happy Thursday. Its a beautiful day here, and I am sad to be watching it out my window.

How to dismantle a nuclear missile. Please do not smoke around nuclear rocket.

Emperor-Wannabe Donald I … issues Executive Order mandating that executive departments comply with law to submit new rules to public comment and congressional review? Eagerly awaiting the “he’s doing it to destroy the environment” spin.

Vlade Divac is a GM for an NBA team? The guy was a hard worker and a good player, but I never really thought of him as management material.

Beresheet lunar craft didn’t quite nail the landing. Engine and communications problems on the descent doomed it. I only hope someone wasn’t figuring in cubits instead of meters for the autopilot.

Have a Moon Song.

I’m sliding in sideways on this. Work went on too long.

Florida Man, meet Baker Act.

Big rocket going up tonight. You think its a good idea to shoot off those things around Florida Man?

Just kidding, you don’t get to bring your majority tyranny up in here. This is a bitter and capricious oligarchy. We’ll just keep holding votes until we get our way. All in favor?

But what inspired the title was that the Turks appear to be taking lessons from the EU on how to run a vote. That is, they’ll keep holding votes until they get the result they want. “Democracy is like a train: when you reach your destination, you get off” – Recep Tayyip Erdogan

Here’s a straight-news NPR story that is so fair, it might cause you to think the writer has secret libertarian tendencies.

In case anyone wonders why I keep taking the “under” on $75/bbl oil. Sadly, $15/bbl from the well to the distribution head would still somehow result in gas prices above $2. I’m not really sure where they’ve got their light ‘stills tuned, but it hasn’t been for gasoline in years. That’s just a byproduct made in sufficient amount. I expect that taxes, detergents, and other additives (cough, corn liquor, cough) probably run to $1.40 a gallon or more. By the time you add in distribution and storage, that’s just how life is anymore.

I’m all in favor of a combination whiskey distillery and performing arts center, but I think by the time it opens, they’ll have to stuff Bob Dylan to have him there. At least Lou Reed will be around to help him open it.

Here’s one from the mumbler that I like.

Hey guys, got a sick kid, and almost missed the links.

And they say the next generation is lazy and lacks feck. This is a feckful pair if I ever met some.

Right up the road a ways from me, more idiots with guns. You follow someone for a block and a half and shoot him when he pulls a knife because you won’t back off? I’m starting to rethink my position on “no duty to retreat” laws in public — at least in Florida.

Hey guys, I’m off to cheer on The Other Kevin if I can make it across Tampa Bay in time. Here’s some probably stale links.

If history is any indication, this guy just needs 8 US marines and about 500 mercenaries. US citizen leading military advance against Tripoli.

Looks like Assange’s days are numbered.

Donald Trump, suuuper-genius. Donny, we’ve got record employment, people are already booming on easy money. Let’s not do anything to make the rocket burn hotter.

Here’s a feel-good story about the IRS getting its ass handed to it by the lawyers and accountants who protect the richest people’s money.

There was much talk of chainsaws in the morning links.

Just kidding, what’s the point?

Have a song.

Happy Wednesday, y’all. Or as I like to call it: Five hours of meeting day. Don’t worry, my team still expects eight hours of productive work, so… I guess we’re all going to be disappointed at the end of the day. How the heck are each and every one of YOU?

Someone has figured out regulatory capture and its negative effects.

Me and Gizmodo agree 100% on this. Bitcoin is entirely manipulated and worthless as a wealth store or inflation hedge.

Hey guys, big surprise, the government-backed Space Launch System is basically still vaporware, but Elon Musk’s rocket might save the day.

Anyone got a CRISPR machine I could borrow?

Here’s a little something for when the edibles kick in.

Its April Fools Day, so beware of what you read on the Internet.

For instance, anything about the Democratic party applying #metoo rules to Joe Biden is just a joke.

Also, Florida Man gets pranked by aliens.

Heroic Mulatto sent word of an interesting TED talk. Safe for work. Totally.

Also, a new add-on pack for Cards Against Humanity.

I’m sure these safety fails were just April Fools Pranks.

I’m sneaking out to see the Rays-Astros game, so some of these may be stale by the time you get them. I’d love to care, but about the time you see them, Blake Snell will be hurling the first pitch towards home plate. Its about time we got back to that time of year where the final stanza of the national anthem is “Play Ball!”

Apparently, there’s a bridge in Scotland that dogs jump off of to their death or injury with startling regularity. Poor doggos.

40 years later, it’s still true that more people died at Chappaquiddick than Three Mile Island.

I was expecting knights in shining armor.

Cryptid spotted in DC! Okay, so it was just a mask. She better hope SWAMP SMITH approves of her work.