Author: Brett L

Happy Monday ever’body. I’m running around like a mad-man trying to get all my work stuff done for a release tomorrow night so I can not rush around for the next two weeks after that. I’m not really sure that the rushing is doing me any good, but there it is. Also, the Holiday season is upon us. Somehow every night but Friday between now and Christmas is completely booked. No, wait. Wednesday night I’m home while my wife goes out to dinner with some friends. So I managed to dodge one bullet.

If you’re as big a fan[person] as my wife, this has you squeeing for joy. Seriously, the best part about this is I was able to get some tickets for a summer festival and my wife treated it like she was the chick in the Jared commercial getting the ring.

The home exercycle trend meets the teledildonics trend. I’m sure camhos will figure out a way to monetize this soon.

Congress infantilizes adults. Now do selective service and voting age.

Everyone involved in this is a moron.

For my wife, I’m posting this video on a site she never visits.

Happy Friday afternoon! Thanks to everyone who pinch hit for me in this slot this week. I was in Detroit all week. I think I saw about 10 minutes of blue sky in five days. How does anyone live like that? Ugh. And then my youngest threw up at daycare. Went and picked him up, and the first thing he did when I literally picked him up in the classroom? Put his hands over my mouth. So it looks like I’m going to lose five pounds on the fashion model diet over the next 36 hours.

Somehow, the defeat of anti-semitic socialists heralds the ascent of Nazism in Britain. I’m confused about how being an international anti-semitic socialist is qualitatively better than the national brand, but I just report what I see.

Florida Man arrested for selling weight loss supplement that works at GNC.

Not to worry, those of you who think the Dems are permanently destroying themselves as a party, Mike Huckabee signals that the Republicans will be out-crazied by nobody! (TW: Hotair)

One of the great victories in the world is having a free oil market that basically has a hard ceiling of $75/bbl.

Well happy Friday, y’all. It’s beer-thirty for me as soon as I finish these links. I’ll be in Dearborn next week, so links may be provided by other, more caring Glibs.

I have so many questions about this shooting. I guess one of the biggest would be why a Naval Air Station would be training a pilot. Oh, and fuck that guy.

Well this seems like a pretty good outcome. Oh, and fuck those guys.

Oh man, the evil plan to make you crave their product fortnightly is moving into your home as KFC creates a fireplace log that smells like chicken as it burns.

I don’t even know what…

Thank goodness I’m a touch-typist after that H&H Extended Universe entry. My eyes refuse to function after that horror. I told SF privately that entry was worth just about anything Trump does in the next 400 days or so, given that the Hat & Hair main story line is so much less… blech. Trying to explain to the wife why I was giggling, weeping, and vomiting at the same time was… interesting.

Wife: I want to read that

Me: Nope. You’ll blame me for it even after you say you won’t. Its not worth it

Wife: I won’t…

Me: See, its just like I said!

Wife: Whatever, I’m not cleaning up that mess

Tennessee aquarium powers Christmas lights with renewable energy.

Vox are innumerate morons. I don’t even know where to start on this. So much garbage in two charts.

Please, please let Trump’s ego be the thing that crashes NATO.

NY Glibs, I have a mission for you. Go forth to Monroe County, interact with the local cops, and just be yourselves.

First of all, let me just say, fuck Christmas decorations. Fuck aaaallllll of them. I spent like four hours yesterday and have two or three more today just helping my wife’s decorating. Which, IMO, is a little bit excessive. Like, Christmas tree, okay. Stockings, fine. Put out some Christmas lights so we’re not the Grinch family, cool. But why do we have like a whole different interior decoration theme complete with little nick-nacks that go on every available horizontal surface? I still don’t feel bad about using my one veto for striking the snowman head Christmas tree topper. It looked like we had mounted Frosty’s head on a tree as a warning to all the other snowmen. We’re going back to a more subtle and decorous star.

Speaking of Florida Man in the Christmas Spirit.

This seems a little wasteful.

…and that’s really all I’ve got that won’t tread on SF’s Deathwatch. Sorry, not enough Florida Men posting bail since Thanksgiving, I guess.

Dem DeathWatch 2020

With Kamala Harris, the fake nails and weave of the Democratic field, out, I just can’t imagine what the other sub-candidates are waiting for.

Mayor Pete is having the Iowa surge they were all hoping for and New Hampshire is pretty much still up for grabs and will probably be decided on name recognition (Biden) or schoolmarmocity (Warren.)

As most of the (ew) white people keep failing one purity test or another, Castro is the far left whackjob still standing. Booker is running out of money (again) and just can’t seem to be Obama as hard as he tries.

Klobucher, Steyer, Patrick are obviously waiting for a VP chance, but, honestly, they bring nothing to a ticket. Patrick won’t solve the problem black voters have with Mayor Pete, Klobucher might be a nice pick for Biden, but that’s it–and who does she bring to a ticket that Biden doesn’t already have? Slightly different white people? Steyer might balance a Mayor Pete ticket, but any old could do that.

Gabbard, Yang, Delaney, and Williamson have no useful VP matches that are also possible. And at this point, the irrational hatred toward Gabbard is probably going to get her primaried from the far left. (And a third-party run might end her political career completely, aside from kicking around the Libertarian Party for a couple of decades.) Yang, I can only assume, is on some sort of Brewster’s Millions mission to blow as much money possible as long as he has nothing to show for it at the end. Delany looks like a penis with ventral teeth. Williamson, well, shit, who knows?

Bloomberg? Bitch, please.

And as always, HER lurks.

Bonus image:

So, imagine my surprise when I found out that Cyber Monday didn’t mean hanging out in chat rooms looking for a sexting hookup. Yeah. I guess that’s not how Millenials do it. They don’t know how expensive bandwidth was when your bits had to walk uphill to the modem both ways! Only 3 more minutes before that nudie pic downloads!

I love it… the “Silver Tsunami”. I am not particularly worried about home prices here. First of all, they’re about 25% too high, but I’ve priced that in. Second of all, its not like there’s a shortage of old people to move here.

The British version of “Republicans pounce”: Boris ripped for “exploiting” dead terror victims. Yes, not cricket at all for BOTH sides to stand on a pile of bodies and wave a bloody shirt.

Some people are mistaking sex robots for the real thing. Others find the robots far too responsive to be human. And why are all these robots vaguely Asian?

A french fry shortage? I blame the Hamburglar.

What happens to my Youtube stream when I hang out with Heroic Mulatto and Warty at the same time.

Dem DeathWatch: The TwoFer

Joe Sestak, who I didn’t even know was running, and Steve Bullock are among the faceless rabble of mediocre white men to drop out of the race.

I honestly didn’t know about Sestak. I had to add him just to X him out. It makes you wonder how many more Democratic Presidential candidates are out there, running for office under the radar, lurking under the stage at debates, waiting to erupt like cold sores on the lips of America.

The good news is, I only had to shoot two very large ladies to get my Walmart Black Friday deals. Bad news is, both will recover because I was using a light load on a .25. Just enough to let them know I was serious. You don’t want too energetic a round, you’d hate to hit a random kid or dog some irresponsible Florida person has brought to the annual Black Friday Brawl with a through-and-through.

Here, have some links with your leftovers:

Nothing wrong with the London cops’ aim. Just like a criminal to bring a knife to a gun fight, eh?

This is sad, but hopefully they weren’t too overcooked. I wonder what giraffe taste like.

Is it any wonder she was teacher of the year?

Fatal herpes virus passed from monkey to human lab worker. No bites reported. Mmhmm.

Hey guys, I’m late getting on the road because I broke something at work Monday and it has taken me this long to unbreak it. If I ever run into Monday Morning Brett, he and I are going to have a chat. In the meantime, enjoy my on-the-road links, which are not nearly as good as road head.

Jimmy must have been the turkey God pardoned for Thanksgiving.

Climbing big rocks is dangerous.

Best timeline ever!

This is the kind of class I expect from Joisey. Or Florida. I could definitely see this happening at a Walmart in Florida.

Have a Thanksgiving song from a commie.

My wife took the kids to her mom’s house today, while I stay home to work. I will join them Wednesday afternoon. Kids are off school because, I guess school teachers didn’t get enough paid vacation? I can’t wait for President Kamala Harris to make sure schools are open every day I have to work. So, this basically means I’ll be buying flights of beers all afternoon and taste-testing each and every beer at the greatest nanobrewery in America. I will miss my kids… sometime around tomorrow evening. My wife I’ll miss tonight.

It’s deer season up north, and you know what that means — time to settle some family scores.

Trump honors hero dog at White House. “Dogs… are dirty. Lots of germs, not clean. But this dog is the best of dogs. Great… dog.” I mean, just look at this.

Maybe the US could just sell popcorn to the Israelis and stay the fuck out of this? I would like for Trump to repeat the same words that launched Glibertarians… “too local”

I’m pretty sure Florida Man could shoot and eat his way out of this problem.