Black Friday Afternoon Links

The good news is, I only had to shoot two very large ladies to get my Walmart Black Friday deals. Bad news is, both will recover because I was using a light load on a .25. Just enough to let them know I was serious. You don’t want too energetic a round, you’d hate to hit a random kid or dog some irresponsible Florida person has brought to the annual Black Friday Brawl with a through-and-through.

Here, have some links with your leftovers:

Nothing wrong with the London cops’ aim. Just like a criminal to bring a knife to a gun fight, eh?

This is sad, but hopefully they weren’t too overcooked. I wonder what giraffe taste like.

Is it any wonder she was teacher of the year?

Fatal herpes virus passed from monkey to human lab worker. No bites reported. Mmhmm.

Comments

265 responses to “Black Friday Afternoon Links”

  1. I wonder what giraffe taste like.

    Tough. Kind of gamy.

    1. Florida Man

      I do feel bad for the workers. Even the most ornery of animals can grow on you.

      1. That’s what Mrs. Animal says.

        1. Florida Man

          HI-YO

  2. Tres Cool

    That motherfkin’ theme music……LET ‘ER RIP!

  3. Grummun

    Is it any wonder she was teacher of the year?

    Did drugs also fall out of her butt?

    1. Fourscore

      The kid got a B– but she didn’t give an F.

      1. Lackadaisical

        I assume that’s why he went to the police.

        1. Jarflax

          Too much tooth too little tongue.

  4. Florida Man

    Fatal herpes virus passed from monkey to human lab worker. No bites reported. Mmhmm.-

    Finally 28 days later is happening!

  5. Florida Man

    I got a pretty good deal on a TV through Newegg. Hopefully the TV will actually show up. ..

    1. Your neighbors thank you…

      1. Florida Man

        …because they’re going to steal it?

        1. Well, I was only going to imply it.

  6. Things were rather calm and civilized at the store I went to.

    Got myself a whole box of plastic sisters, and a hive tyrant.

    1. Plastic sisters?

      The second one has to be a dictator bee.

        1. Hyperion

          What is even wrong with you primitives? Games are supposed to be played on computers, like God intended.

          1. Games?

            I assemble, and paint miniatures. I haven’t played in ages.

          2. Hyperion

            The I don’t even know what you’re going.

          3. pan fried wylie

            “Model trains”. See how easy that was UCS?

          4. No, there are no trains.

          5. pan fried wylie

            I know, but people actually know what model trains are. Close enough.

      1. Though I think I will name the Hive Tyrant “Dictator Bee”

        1. Lackadaisical

          Jesus,that’s an expressive hobby.

          1. Well, an alternative name is “Plastic Crack”. This is why I paid my bills and made any charitable donations before I bought more.

          2. Florida Man

            charitable donations –

            But…curmudgeon?!?

          3. Wait, did I say that?

            Ignore that remark.

          4. Jarflax

            Charity call them donations to set up her defense in court.

          5. Yusef drives a Kia

            Nice, have fun painting, seriously have fun

          6. Won’t have too many days where it’s suitable to basecoat them until spring.

          7. Rhywun

            Jesus,that’s an expressive hobby.

            Expensive, too.

    2. l0b0t

      YAY! I heard there were lots of problems with having that set in stock; I’m glad you got one. How do you like them? Is it true that they are significantly larger than the old metal Sisters, so as to require new purchases?

      1. A: There were at least three non-pre order boxes at my regular store.

        B: I have not assembled any yet, so I don’t know the final size or full appearance

        C: I never bought the metal versions because I don’t like working with metal minis.

        1. I think they’re less bulky than the metal ones, and for scale, it appears that the Canoness is the same height as real space marines (ie, non-primaris) models

      2. 🙁 This first box is all monopose minis… The same way the first Primaris box was. I suppose the individual unit boxes will have all the options.

        I mean this box doesn’t even have meltaguns for the basic sisters.

        No Meltaguns? For SoB?

        1. Now I’m counting heads to see how many there are. There’s not enough helmets for all of them. There are seventeen armored sisters, and only eleven helmets.

      3. I just assembled one of the Seraphim, and the models look fantastic. They are noticably taller than previous edition models. On tiptoe (due to the pose of the seraphim model) she is not quite as tall as a primaris librarian, and slightly taller than a real space marine. Might be bigger than the sisters of silence, or the same size, not sure, haven’t dug out one of those for comparison.

        1. Jarflax

          I played Warhammer Online for about 6 hours because a friend was a fan, that is the extent of my knowledge and exposure. I assume these are classes of a faction?

          1. The Seraphim are the jump-pack equipped infantry of the Sister of Battle. Their jump packs are stylized to look like wings.

  7. Three giraffes

    Ok

    three red river hogs

    Alright

    three bongos

    ermmm

    and a springbok

    OK, now you’re just making shit up

    1. Shouldn’t the last one have been a partridge in a pear tree?

    2. peachy rex

      No South African ruggers were injured in the making of this joke.

      1. Rhywun

        Rugger, please.

    3. J. Frank Parnell

      springbok

      Is that like a maibock?

      1. Florida Man

        I went down a rabbit hole and found this:

        The strongest ice-beer, Schorschbräu, is produced by a Franconian company; it has 57% ABV (alcohol by volume), which claims to be a world record for beer ABV.[4]

        57 percent? Isn’t that just whiskey?

        1. Jarflax

          114 proof is a bit high even to be a tasty whiskey.

          1. It’s not supposed to be tasty, it’s supposed to be the most alcoholic freeze-distilled product they can make.

        2. Nephilium

          No distillation, just freeze concentration to remove the water. Very big legal difference. I believe BrewDog was doing another batch of the End of History a while back.

  8. Count Potato

    “The last recorded case of herpes B in a human human was in 2008, and the last known fatality was in 1997 after researcher Elizabeth Griffin was splashed in the eye with monkey body fluids at Yerkes National Primate Research Centre.”

    That must have been some facial.

    1. Tres Cool

      + Peter North

      1. Timeloose

        Ropes

    2. J. Frank Parnell

      I saw Monkey Body Fluids at Coachella a couple of years ago. They were alright, nothing to die for.

      1. Tres Cool

        Plastic Sisters of Battle were the opening act.

    3. Count Potato

      “At the time of her death, Beth was a research assistant at Yerkes Regional Primate Research Center at Emory University in Atlanta, Georgia. At Yerkes, Beth was engaged in behavioral research on hormonal influences in Rhesus macaques, and was in the process of applying to graduate schools to continue her pursuit of studies and research in the biological/psychological sciences.

      Beth’s unfortunate and needless death not only robbed her family and friends of her vibrant presence, but deprived the larger world of medicine of her untold potential in the field of animal research. Beth’s incident and death exposed vulnerable areas in institutional policies and practices which potentially sabotage biosafety, biosecurity, and effective emergency response to biological exposures. As a result, Beth’s family established The Elizabeth R. Griffin Research Foundation – now the Elizabeth R. Griffin Program at Georgetown University’s Center for Global Health Science and Security – with the fervent desire that the scientific community and the general public could continue to learn the larger lessons and insights her case can provide from a life that had so much to offer the world.”

      https://ghss.georgetown.edu/ergp/#

  9. Count Potato

    “Randi Chaverria, a 36-year-old family and consumer science teacher at Round Rock High School, was arrested Tuesday after a student told police she had performed oral on him twice in October, according to an affidavit obtained by KVUE.”

    Is that what they call “home economics”?

    1. mikey

      Probably. If I could have chosen a teacher to ruin my life it would have been our HS’s home ec teacher.

    2. Timeloose

      She’s better looking than any of my teachers past 5th grade.

      1. Fourscore

        Easy to understand why all the grade school teachers identified as Miss.

      2. DEG

        I need more pictures before I can make that determination.

    3. Lackadaisical

      She was just showing how to ensure no pregnancy occurs, that’s a vital
      Home economics question.

      He was a slow learner.

  10. leon

    A man was shot dead by an armed officer near London Bridge.

    I hope he then cut his head off and put it on a pike. The only reasonable response for this crime.

    1. Florida Man

      I feel like a fake suicide vest is as stupid as a fake gun/unloaded gun.

    2. Jarflax

      You have to tar it first. Otherwise it doesn’t last long enough to encourage civility.

  11. DEG

    A man armed with a knife and wearing what turned out to be a phony suicide explosives vest was shot dead by an armed officer near London Bridge on Friday after being wrestled to the ground by passersby in what the police said was a terror-related incident.

    Commonsense knife control isn’t working. Britain will have to add “commonsense phony suicide explosives vest” control to the mix.

    Three giraffes, three red river hogs, three bongos and a springbok were killed in the blaze, the park’s co-owner told the Record-Courier.

    Ouch.

    Randi Chaverria, a 36-year-old family and consumer science teacher at Round Rock High School, was arrested Tuesday after a student told police she had performed oral on him twice in October, according to an affidavit obtained by KVUE.

    He told the cops or did his parents tell the cops?

    Herpes B is common in monkeys, with over half of rhesus Macaques, for example, thought to be carriers of the virus.

    The B virus was identified in 1932. It’s rare in humans but in the 31 recorded cases of infection 21 of them have been fatal.,/em>

    Herpes not-so-simplex.

  12. Tres Cool

    The Flathead Valley, Montana crime update.

    1. Fourscore

      At least there was no serious crime like teenager smoking or a drive off at the gas station when the customer went home to get his wallet. Flathead Valley sounds crime ridden, what with someone over staying their welcome. Did the police recommend paying the ‘guest’ so she’d leave?

    2. Jarflax

      Hmm, low crime, some of the most beautiful country on Earth, sounds ideal. How hard can it possibly be to get through 10 foot snowdrifts?

      1. Spudalicious

        You just have to drive faster.

        1. Sean

          The Jeremy Clarkson solution.

  13. Jarflax

    I have a refrigerator full of leftovers, 80% of a fifth of Bulleit Rye, a full bottle of Elijah Craig, and a full bottle of Glenmorangie Lasanta, and no plans except to reduce my stock. Life is good.

    1. Florida Man

      I over bought on wine and champagne. Luckily those are non-perishable goods.

      1. Jarflax

        I don’t know, I think you’d better drink them up to make sure!

        1. Fourscore

          Could have a small Glib meet up with that inventory.

          1. Jarflax

            Sounds good. I’m pretty much dead center between you two.

          2. Florida Man

            dead center between you two.-

            Before or after the drinking?

          3. Jarflax

            Legitimately lol

          4. Tres Cool

            You gals really do treat it like a purse.

  14. TARDIS

    Wife made a funny.
    “Guess what today is.”
    Son says, “Black Friday.”
    I sez, “It’s our 29th wedding anniversary.”
    “Same thing.”

    1. Ozymandias

      HI-YO

    2. Happy anniversary?

      1. Count Potato

        +1

    3. Jarflax

      Buyer’s remorse usually kicks in sooner.

      1. TARDIS

        Just got back from an excellent dinner.

        The food was great, and we had a great conversation.

        Reminded me why I got married to her even though I thought it couldn’t last.

  15. The Late P Brooks

    Everything you need to know

    Modern Monetary Theory (AKA MMT) is the latest incarnation of a long-running current in economic thought, once called Chartalism, which has gained prominence in recent years as an alternative to austerity economics, whose dictates have immiserated millions, destabilized world politics, and threaten the extinction of the human race thanks to climate inaction in the guise of “fiscal restraint.”

    Sounds legit.

    1. Jarflax

      I read things like this and my thoughts turn to dreams of helicopters.

    2. Grumbletarian

      And even when governments do spend money into existence to buy things the private sector is using, it needn’t be inflationary. The most prominent example of massive, non-inflationary public spending is WWII, when governments procured a huge amount of things the private sector was using (including labor and materials) but despite all that spending, states were able to control inflation by selling war bonds, which sequestered away the new capital so it wasn’t available to chase the things the state needed to tool up for war.

      And they did it all without mandating rationed goods for the proles or anything!! MAGIC!

    3. peachy rex

      MMT is the finance equivalent of believing that renewables can meet our energy needs. Magical thinking at its finest.

    4. Raven Nation

      Mises Institute on Chartalism: https://mises.org/wire/ludwig-von-mises-and-nature-money

      “Knapp’s views were not well received at first,12 but did find early support from prominent bankers13 and eventually won many converts to the state theory of money. His chartalist theory did, after all, perfectly complement the statist convictions already prevalent among German economic professors. As Mises later observed:

      ‘The statist school of German economics has probably reached its high point in Georg Friedrich Knapp’s State Theory of Money. It is not per se remarkable that this theory has been formulated; after all, its tenets have been championed for centuries in the writings of canonists, jurists, romantics, and certain socialists. What was remarkable was rather the success of the book”

      Knapp’s fundamental error was in failing to see that government orders can only be relevant in the context of presently existing contracts involving deferred payments. Ex post, governments can determine what should be counted as “money” and, hence, what should be counted as payment. But it does not have the power to impose on market participants the future use of any means of exchange”

    5. pan fried wylie

      Charlatanism indeed.

      *re-reads* huh, they misspelled it.

  16. The Late P Brooks

    MMT’s core precept is that governments first spend money into existence and then tax it out of existence (contrast this with the standard account that says that governments must tax citizens to pay for programs, which raises the question, “How did the citizens get the money to pay for their taxes unless the government first spent that money into existence, given that governments are the sole source of currency?”).

    tl;dr- I HAVE NOT THE FAINTEST CLUE HOW WEALTH IS CREATED.

    1. leon

      Alternate:

      I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT VALUE IS

      1. Florida Man

        To be fair, I have a hard time wrapping my mind around fiat currency. I don’t think it is very intuitive. My understanding is banks create most money through fractional lending, based on deposits. But where did the very first dollar come from? IDK, same place as the Big Bang I guess.

        1. The first dollar came from a dictator expropriating somebody else’s wealth.

        2. Jarflax

          Banks create money by being given permission by the Fed to loan money they do not have. Fractional reserve rules are simply the ‘formula’ the Fed expresses that permission in terms of. It is all smoke and mirrors. The intuitive difficulty people have in understanding it is because people are sane and have difficulty believing in ‘dollars’ that have no physical existence whatsoever. It’s all notations in a ledger. The Fed tells your lender they can ‘loan’ you $200k that the lender does not have in any real sense. The lender sends a message to the title company (a wire) saying basically “we will guarantee that when you send messages or notes (wires and checks) to other people/companies, we’ll be responsible for them”. The title company sends a message to the Seller’s lender that says Seller no longer owes you money, here’s Buyer’s lender’s guarantee. You get a house, Seller no longer owes money, now you owe it to someone new, and behind the scenes Seller’s lender changes a notation from we hold this note worth x, to a notation that says we have x ‘dollars’.

  17. Rufus the Monocled

    I think there was a “peace” attack in the Netherlands too.

    1. pan fried wylie

      *Kinetic Peace Action

  18. The Late P Brooks

    Racists

    A French legislative committee opened a wider debate on Monday over whether to ban Black Friday.

    ——-

    Black Friday sales contribute to waste and overconsumption, a group of French lawmakers have said, arguing that the annual retail extravaganza should be banned.

    The U.S. tradition of shopping the day after the Thanksgiving holiday has become one of the most important dates for retailers in countries all over the world. Brands try to attract customers with what’s described as more attractive pricing.

    However, some French lawmakers have voiced their opposition against Black Friday due to the environmental impacts, as well as its focus on large online retailers at the expense of smaller businesses.

    Elisabeth Borne, France’s minister for environmental transition, told a French radio station Thursday that she is conscious that it’s important for many French citizens take advantage of promotions and that she’s delighted if Black Friday helps small businesses. “But the truth is that it is first and foremost an enormous commercial operation by big online retailers,” she said according to CNBC translation.

    Consumerism will be the death of Planet Earth. Ban kkkapitalism.

    1. peachy rex

      “Minister for environmental transition”, eh?

      I think there’s still room for more austerity.

      1. Rhywun

        Yeah, they probably have a dozen other ministers whose job is to wreck the economy.

        1. peachy rex

          Isn’t that all of them?

    2. leon

      Gosh Damnit. I wrote a fake article about this this morning. and i was beaten to it by the frogs

    3. leon

      “But the truth is that it is first and foremost an enormous commercial operation by big online retailers

      There was no black friday before the Internet.

    4. Rhywun

      what’s described as more attractive pricing

      Because consumers are too stupid to decide for themselves if the pricing is more attractive.

      1. pan fried wylie

        look at Mr. I-Passed-Kindergarten-Math over here, fuckin bigshot.

  19. Spudalicious

    Ahh. SIL is gone and so is my vodka supply but it was a pretty uneventful visit.

    1. Florida Man

      Drunk sister in law? I’ve seen that film.

      1. Spudalicious

        Not with your dick.

    2. Old Man With Candy

      Usual ration of sister-fights alternating with gang-up-on-Spud?

      1. Spudalicious

        Nope. She was on good behavior this time. Because of the wife’s situation, the sister is back in the dominant position, which makes her less insecure.

  20. Heroic Mulatto

    I refuse to marry any woman who won’t walk down the aisle to this.

    1. Spudalicious

      Determined to stay single, eh?

    2. Gustave Lytton

      A lifelong smoker mumble rapping over YMO

      https://youtu.be/m_ds-XKtVds

      On to his admission of guilt over Epstein.

  21. The Late P Brooks

    How hard can it possibly be to get through 10 foot snowdrifts?

    Here’s one solution

      1. Count Potato

        Yes. Although it’s not limited to communists. According to Iran, the entire U.S. is beats their women like a drunk cop.

        1. Scruffy Nerfherder

          Don’t you?

        2. pan fried wylie

          “Where as we never have to beat our wives, because they know we can murder them with impunity.”

    1. leon

      Alan Lewis
      @AlanLew56185276
      ·
      Nov 28
      Replying to
      @zlj517
      In China, the China man often go to West area, as it’s an area for the ethnic cleanse.

      LoL

      1. Rhywun

        *snort*

      2. Heroic Mulatto

        The irony is that Xi Jinping’s father’s claim to fame is that he was able to deftly negotiate a peaceful solution to Xinjiang and Tibetan irredentism shortly after the founding of the PRC. I don’t know what kind of relationship the two had, but Jinping seems intent on pissing all over his father’s legacy.

        1. pan fried wylie

          Jinping seems intent on pissing all over his father’s legacy.

          Getting out of his father’s shadow on his own accomplishments would be too hard.

    2. Gustave Lytton

      The Not Allowed Twitter guy is really upping his game.

  22. The Late P Brooks

    MMT is the finance equivalent of believing that renewables can meet our energy needs. Magical thinking at its finest.

    “We’re not broke. We’ve still got checks!”

    1. peachy rex

      “All we need to do is rewrite several fundamental physical laws! Preferably in the next five years! It will be surprisingly easy, barely an inconvenience!”

      1. Scruffy Nerfherder

        Trillion dollar coins are tight.

        1. peachy rex

          “But what about inflation?”

          “I’m going to need you to get ALL the way off my back about that.”

          1. Jarflax

            Inflation only hurts shitlords! The woke have piles of debt!

        2. Count Potato

          LOL

      2. Jarflax

        For our entire existence as a species we were at the mercy of the weather. Now, finally having achieved a state in which we no longer die in droves every time the Thunder God has a tantrum, the progs want us to surrender to climate.

  23. Count Potato

    “BEAUTIFUL: Hong Kong protestors sing American National Anthem as a gesture of thanks for @realDonaldTrump signing bills into law yesterday that back the protestors”

    https://twitter.com/PolitiKurd/status/1200200943356305408

    1. Count Potato

      “China today condemned President Trump’s signing of two bills backing human rights in Hong Kong.

      Thousands of pro-democracy activists welcomed the new American laws during a gathering this evening in Hong Kong.”

      https://twitter.com/NewsHour/status/1200191058547576839

      1. Rhywun

        That darn Trump!

        Imagine my surprise at most Twitterers not understanding how a bill is passed.

  24. Florida Man

    Has anybody watched “the watchmen” series on HBO? Is it any good?

    1. Count Potato

      I haven’t seen it, but I heard it’s woke.

      1. Florida Man

        Hmm. I’m allergic to woke. Better not risk it.

        1. Jarflax

          Like Sleepy Joe?

    2. Jarflax

      Quis custodiet ipsos custodes?

      and thank you from the bottom of my heart for the chance to say that.

      1. Florida Man

        I expected this and was not disappointed.

    3. kinnath

      It is brilliantly made. It is woke, and yet, it vividly depicts the consequences of police brutality against the non-woke. It is deeply cynical.

      1. Drake

        I watched the first episode, found myself routing for the Whiteys to kill the masked cops. Decided it was unhealthy and haven’t watched since.

        I have started watching “The Boys” on Amazon. It’s about superheroes, how most of them are complete dicks, and the guys who try to kill them

        1. Shirley Knott

          The Boys is great. It shifts into high gear with episode 4 and ramps up hard from there.
          The Umbrella Academy is another interesting teen superhero series.

        2. kinnath

          The masked cops aren’t the good guys. There are no good guys.

          The show assumes that “woke” won. It doesn’t actually celebrate this.

  25. The Late P Brooks

    Victims of Brexit

    UK auto production is already plummeting and Brexit could make things even worse, limiting annual output to just 1 million cars, about half what the industry was planning to make in 2020 just a few years ago.
    The number of vehicles produced in Britain slumped 4% in October, according to data published Thursday by the UK Society of Motor Manufacturers and Traders. Car production has now declined for 16 of the past 17 months.
    “Yet another month of falling car production makes these extremely worrying times for the sector,” SMMT chief executive Mike Hawes said in a statement. “Our global competitiveness is under threat.”

    I’m surprised they managed to resist the temptation to spin this as good news.

    1. Drake

      My wife bought a British made car last year. I kind of shuddered when I opened the door a saw where it was assembled.

      1. Let me guess, the steering wheel was in the wrong place.

        1. pan fried wylie

          In the “boot”, yeah.

      2. Jarflax

        Did it come with extra Lucas smoke?

      3. Not an Economist

        door a saw where it was

        I think your autocorrect needs correcting.

        1. Drake

          Yep – the car is an Infiniti with a Mercedes engine. So far so good…

  26. Count Potato

    “One thing I’m grateful for are vaccines that save lives. Let’s all do our part to counter anti-vaccination disinformation that threatens lives.”

    https://twitter.com/HillaryClinton/status/1199739441683845123

    Translation: I just got into the vaccine business.

    1. Count Potato

      “This is a really, really ominous tweet by Hillary Clinton given the fact that Jennifer Jaynes…an author who wrote about the corruption within the vaccine industry…was found dead on Monday. ?”

      https://twitter.com/iheartmindy/status/1200525914863546374

    2. leon

      So what do the Anti-Vaxers know that could lead to the arrest of Hillary Clinton?

  27. Sean

    We decided to go out to some brick & mortar stores today to see if we could spend some money. Specifically two different gun stores. Neither of us found anything that we wanted to bring home. Well, nothing within the budgets we were self imposing. It’s easy to find something shiny and lust worthy over a grand. ?

    1. Scruffy Nerfherder

      Things I saw today:

      – A fire in the interstate median
      – Somebody’s Black Friday shopping spree spread across four lanes of interstate
      – Diabetes, lots of diabetes

      1. Sean

        A vehicle fire?

        1. Scruffy Nerfherder

          Looked like a grass fire started by a cigarette…,or a Samsung phone/Tesla, couldn’t tell.

  28. Tres Cool

    Thread fayul….

    *ahem*

    You gals really do treat it like a purse.

    1. Sean

      Something fishy about that story.

    2. Spudalicious

      Do you have to wipe it before you swipe it?

    3. Count Potato

      One for each year?

    1. Spudalicious

      Oof. I looked at the top toys of the ’70s and I owned most of them.

  29. Made 726 miles in 11 hours and 23 minutes, good time for losing 30-40 minutes due to a wreck. Saw one political bumber stiker and two Billboards, the former was for Mayor Pete (on a Subaru) the later were both for Tulsi, in SC. So that’s where the pulse of the nation is at.

    1. Also, I was late for the WAWR post and no one reads old threads and this is important so I’m putting it here. ‘Gone to Texas’ does not have the ‘Endeavor to persevere’ speech, none the less, it and the the sequel “The Vengeance Trail Of Josey Wales” are very enjoyable reads. Why they didn’t make a movie out of the second book is a mystery to me, it would make almost as good a flick as the original.

    2. leon

      (on a Subaru)

      when you say bumper sticker i assume its on an old green subaru

    3. Yusef drives a Kia

      I spent 2 hours getting through the Canon Pass, stupid tourists! parked on the Interstate to look at some rotten snow,
      it was a 30 mile drive, yikes

      1. Tres Cool

        HEY YUFUS!

    1. Jarflax

      Nah, too coherent, he won’t get any traction.

      1. Fuck a duck.

        1. Jarflax

          Don’t feel bad. They wouldn’t represent Tupac either.

        2. Spudalicious

          *snicker*

      2. Authors who’ve already been published are easier to sell.

        So these agents are lazy and no one should do business with them.

        1. It’s parody.

          1. We’re not saying BEAM’s an alien, but . . .

            You sure about that?

          2. Babylon Bee level.

          3. pan fried wylie

            so, Indistinguishable From Reality?

    2. Count Potato

      You know what I’m saying?

  30. Tres Cool

    Aftermath of the Glib’s midwest holiday meetup.

    1. Nephilium

      I had to click through to make sure it wasn’t Ohio…

      1. Jarflax

        after the last 7 years I am not surprised there is a shortage of booze in ichigan this week. (no one tell sloopy I posted this, it will ruin my busting his balls)

    2. Shirley Knott

      Who else is in Michigan?

  31. mikey

    Whoda thunk? Vox publishes a pro-Trump article.

    House Democrats have passed nearly 400 bills. Trump and Republicans are ignoring them.”

    https://www.vox.com/2019/11/29/20977735/how-many-bills-passed-house-democrats-trump

    1. commodious spittoon

      I remember when Vox et al. didn’t report on Reid doing exactly the same thing only a few years ago.

      1. Jarflax

        It’s a shame we don’t have some sort of institution that reports unadorned facts to cut through the propaganda politicians put out. Some sort of independent fourth estate.

        1. Yusef drives a Kia

          the Media has always been biased, no different now

    2. leon

      How many bills have the senate passed that the House wont look at?

      1. Yusef drives a Kia

        I thought they all originated in the house?

        1. Only those dealing with spending money have to.

          1. Jarflax

            Curse your IT typing speed!

          2. Your ticket has been closed. If there are any other issues, please submit a new ticket.

        2. Jarflax

          Only if the bill is an appropriations bill:

          All Bills for raising Revenue shall originate in the House of Representatives; but the Senate may propose or concur with Amendments as on other Bills.

        3. Only revenue bills have to originate in the House.

          1. Jarflax

            I guess we know who the pedants are here… Oh wait, we already knew that. Tulpa is the pedant.

  32. Yusef drives a Kia

    GFM suggests I let you know I’m at 90% of my goal, help finish this thing so I shut up
    https://www.gofundme.com/f/v8pdm-getting-to-arizona?utm_source=customer&utm_medium=copy_link&utm_campaign=p_cf+share-flow-1

    1. Jarflax

      shush

      1. Yusef drives a Kia

        I was waiting for someone to tell me to stop, is this it?
        YES IT IS! Goals met! I have thanked you all once, however aHuge shout-out to the Glibs, I didn’t use FB, the Wife didn’t want any Flak, so this is all because of you guys, Thanks!

    2. Spudalicious

      Looks to me like you hit your goal. 🙂

      1. Yusef drives a Kia

        Yep, they want me to publicly thank said person so….
        Not gonna happen, privacy you know,

        1. Don’t embarass anyone by calling them out.

          1. Yusef drives a Kia

            only if they asked me, Y’allins know who you are….

          2. Hyperion

            Just let us know when everything is back to better, bro.

          3. Yusef drives a Kia

            I will,

    3. Rhywun

      Too late. Already over.

      1. Yusef drives a Kia

        thanks though, it’s appreciated

        1. Tres Cool

          I just went out and cleaned the change out of my truck!

          #GlibsStrong

          Go get some 24 oz 12.6% ABV EARFquakes, my friend.

          1. Yep, Jarflax’s I mean whomever’s generosity inspired me to throw in a triffling even though you’ve reach the goal, get a couple extra tall cans, Yuse, or hell splurge and get some good beer, like Strohs.

          2. Yusef drives a Kia

            I got some Natty Ice, 8$ a 15 pack, good enough, I’m not rich,
            yet

          3. Tres Cool

            My friend, go for the Milwaukee’s Diet Beast.
            Here in Ohio, $13.99/30

            TALL CANS!

          4. Hyperion

            Sometimes in the near future, the 3 of us need to get together and drink tall cans. I’ll bring Natty Bo, Baltimore’s finest.

          5. Hyperion

            I mean, real beer. Natty Bo is about 4.5% ABV, so real beer.

    4. Sean

      Nice!

      Now get the fuck out of CA. ?

      1. Yusef drives a Kia

        Yes Sir! ASAP, within a week

      2. Hyperion

        Yeah, before we have to build a wall around it to stop them from escaping.

    5. Pan Zagloba

      Eh, extra money won’t hurt. Good luck!

  33. Nephilium

    So just cracked Hoppin’ Frog’s Black Friday release Q.O.R.I.S. the Quasher. A quadruple imperial oatmeal stout, per the bottle, is clocks in at 15.4% ABV. It’s a damn big roasty beer with the alcohol popping through to remind you that it’s there. I also picked up some Devil’s Strip and Vanilla BA B.O.R.I.S. as well.

    1. Hyperion

      Drinking the world’s best beer, Heineken of course. Also picked of a 12 of Yuengling Golden Pilsner. When this is gone, I’m taking a break from beer for a while, I have about 10 unwanted lbs I need to get rid of, again.

      My wife bought the biggest white mushrooms I’ve ever seen yesterday. Things are monstrosities. She baked them stuffed with spinach, garlic, and something else I don’t know, but they are fucking delicious.

      1. Nephilium

        I’ve still got about 25 pounds to drop by April based on my goal, and the past couple of months, I should be able to hit that. I have the feeling that next weekend will be the worse one for weight, going to a board game convention in Philly. I’ve still got some of my niece’s Sangria to work through as well as two kegs of homebrew that are on tap in my basement.

  34. Hyperion

    If anyone has not played Greedfall, I’d highly recommend it. The story and characters in the game are the best I’ve seen in a game. Spiders took a huge step up with this. There are some problems with balance in the game, such as some battles are way too easy and others are brutal. Also, the way you gain levels with skills and attributes is a little fucked up.

    I’m in a battle right now, I had to pause it to let my mouse hand rest, that has been going on for about 20 minutes. This vulture/crow looking beast. I’ve shot that thing probably 60 times, one of my party has probably put about another 30 rounds in it, while my other party member has been hacking on it with a sword and the beast just will not die.

    Also, I really cannot believe people saying they finished this thing in 25 hours. I have 145 hours in and I stopped doing anything but the main quest around 50 hours ago. People on the internet are sometimes, often, completely full of shit.

    1. Hyperion

      Fuck it, I give it up for tonight. I need to reach science level 2 so I can craft bullets. Looks like about 150 rounds will drop it.

      1. I see. So when sober you play Greedfall, and when drunk switch to RDR2?

        1. Hyperion

          Something like that.

        2. Hyperion

          R2D2 can be pretty rough sometimes when your partners get you ambushed. I guess that’s what it’s like when you hang with a bunch of scoundrels. I still can’t forget the bar fight my bud got us in where I got thrown through the front window and beaten half to death in the mud outside in the street.

          1. Hyperion

            RDR2. It’s almost like I’m going that on purpose.

          2. Lackadaisical

            Are you sure you’re not drunk?

          3. Hyperion

            I’m working on it.

    2. Grumbletarian

      Give me time, I just got Civ VI and all DLC for $19.99.

      1. “Nuclear Launch Detected”

        1. Grumbletarian

          ::mashes Big Red Button(TM) while screaming “FUCK YOU, GHANDI!!!”::

    3. LJW

      I’ve been eating Greedfall and Sekiro can’t decide which to get.

      1. LJW

        Eying* damn it autocorrect

        1. Whichever one doesn’t cause digestive problems.

      2. Hyperion

        Depending on what you want. From what I gather, Sekiro is an action game and Greedfall is an action RPG. Greedfall is well worth it, never played Sekiro since I’m not really into non-RPG games.

    4. Nephilium

      I’ve got Greedfall on my list, but I’ve got a backlog that provides enough shame. Cyberpunk is on my radar, as are Greedfall, Outward, and the Outer Worlds. Paranoia is something I’m interested in as is FarCry 5. I’m at the point now that I generally wait until a game falls under $15 for me to pick it up.

      1. Hyperion

        “Cyberpunk is on my radar”

        Of course it is.

        I’m not really sure about Outer Worlds. Far Cry 5 is insanely fun. If you like driving in games, there’s no equal to it, not even GTA5.

        Outward is great, but there is no fast travel, at least not when I last played it, and the difficulty level is brutal.

  35. Tres Cool

    “sunshine is the best disinfectant” ?

    Alt- ______ dies in darkness.

    1. kinnath

      Does a bear shit in an SUV?

      1. Hyperion

        If a space safe loving hipster is protecting said SUV, then I guess, yes.

    2. Hyperion

      Look at the skinny jean wearing wokester hero. I mean at least he wouldn’t vote for a Nazi, amirite?

    3. AlmightyJB

      Wow, dude’s lucky that bear didn’t come after him.

      1. pan fried wylie

        “Come at me, Bro Bear.”

  36. AlmightyJB

    I thought we were suppose to have a cure for viruses by now.

    1. Jarflax

      There has been progress.

      1. Hyperion

        We can’t allow that. Because you shitlords have more cargo. just remember, health is not a goal, health ‘equity’ is the goal. Get equally sick, you deplorable.

        1. Jarflax

          I’m trying for happy drunk tonight, sounds like you are going the other way. I did that last week.

          1. Hyperion

            As long as you’re equally happy. Happiness Equity is the goal. Otherwise, be equally miserable. Did I say that I hate people?

          2. AlmightyJB

            I’m drinking tomorrow for The Game. Can’t wait.

          3. Tres Cool

            Glad its not only me.

            I expect Sloopy is already passed-out.

    2. Hyperion

      We were almost there, but then we got woke and decided that health equity is the most important thing. I mean it’s OK if a virus kills you, as long as it kills everyone else equally.

  37. Jarflax

    So I am thinking of pulling the trigger and buying a new gaming PC, any of you more knowledgeable Glibs have an opinion on how valuable the upgrade to the RTX 2070 is from the 2060?

    1. Jarflax

      This is what I am looking at, assuming I can get drunk enough to convince myself that spending that much money is worthwhile.

      1. Jarflax

        Odd, the link works from the email.

      2. Hyperion

        Just saying. I upgraded my CPU to an i9 with 10 cores and with the 1080ti, there isn’t any games I can’t play on maxed out graphics settings. I crank it down on RDR2 if I’m getting in a gun battle so that I can get 80-90 FPS.

        I’d like to have a 2080ti, but it’s just not worth it right now.

    2. Hyperion

      You mean a 2060 RTX to a 2070?

      Just my opinion, but I honestly would not bother right now. The prices are insane. Get a 1080ti, unless you can’t do without ray tracing.

      And there’s no way I would even invest in a 2080ti with only 11G of ram. I’ll wait until the 24G ones are released. Or maybe they already are, but I am sure as fuck not paying $1400 for a 2080ti with 11G of ram.

    3. Hyperion

      So, the most important thing is your GPU. But a card with 60 or 70 for the last digits are not really serious gaming cards. Get the best 80 series you can buy. I had 2 1070s in SLI and my 1080ti just blew them out of the water.

  38. DrOtto

    Round Rock representin’

    1. l0b0t

      Hey! My younger brother lives there. Nice town.