Category: Advice

  • IFLA: The “It’s Good to be the King” Edition of the Horoscope for the Week of August 11

    The big news this week is the absolute dominance of Leo.  It maintains all the positive aspects of last week, but then picks up Mercury starting on the 14th.  The 14th and 15th are supremely auspicious for Leos, particularly if you are acting in accordance with the nature of the great cat.  Lounging around, sleeping, eating food provided to you by others and having sex are all heartily encouraged.  Because Leo is hoarding all the direct planets, there isn’t that much to say for the others, though expect an uptick in INFOSEC on the 14th as well with Mercury leaving Cancer.  Alignment-wise, Mars-Venus-Mercury brings about benefits to the vast bulk of the people with jobs (though NOT  government employees or lighthouse-keepers).  The earth aligning with the sun and Venus suggests great things for your domestic love life, particularly if you take a more relaxed, indulgent attitude toward things — remember Leo is dominating here.

    The cards are also predicting a very nice week.  Lots of coins and cups, almost everything is upright, good majors.  Nothing huge or earth-shatteringly great, just quite nice. Enjoy it.

    Leo:  The Star* – Loss, theft, privation, abandonment, hope, bright prospects

    Virgo:  10 of Coins – Gain, riches, family members, home

    Libra:  4 of Cups – Weariness, disgust, aversion

    Scorpio: 5 of Wands reversed – Trickery, contradiction, litigation, disputes

    Sagittarius:  7 of Cups reversed – Desire, will, determination

    Capricorn:  7 of Coins – Money, business, barter

    Aquarius: 6 of Cups – Happy memories, good things from the past

    Pisces:  Queen of Wands – A dark woman, friendly, loving, honorable

    Aries:  Ace of Wands – Creation, invention, enterprise

    Taurus:  3 of Cups – Plenty, perfection, the conclusion of a matter, merriment, happiness, victory

    Gemini:  3 of Swords – Removal, absence, delay

    Cancer:  Wheel of Fortune – Destiny, fortune, success, luck

     

  • IFLA: The “I’m Cautiously Optimistic” Edition of the Horoscope for the Week of August 4

    Things are unusually positive overhead.  Yes, we still have the Jupiter and Saturn retrogrades dragging things down, but the rest looks good, particularly with MERCURY RETROGRADE ending.  Things are looking particularly auspicious for those Glibs who identify as female, and if any of those happen to be born under the sign of Cancer, buy yourself a lottery ticket.  Venus and the moon balancing around the sun means that Lady luck will be a lucky lady for the ladies, as mentioned in previous sentence.  Branching off of that, Mercury and Saturn retrograde indicate news of a major new beginning.  At different times in the Mercury orbital period, this could also indicate extremely bad news, calamity etc. but occurring so soon after Mercury returns to direct motion makes it much more positive in context.

    Another great week for Leos, the smug bastards.  Having both Venus and Mars indicates completion/perfection, rescuing the damsel, all that storybook stuff.  The moon in Virgo adds to the whole GRRRL POWER! thing that the other planets have going on as well as success in water-related activities.  And finally, Cancer benefits from the burst of good luck that happens when Mercury goes direct. Everyone else gets some added security this week.

    OK, so the cards are back to being glib-typical after last week’s, with five of the twelve being swords.  Sometimes when I’m reading these each week, I can’t see how they can apply to you.  You guys do an excellent job of pretending to be good people.

    Leo:  The Emperor – Stability, power, aid, a great person, reason (drink!)

    Virgo:  Knight of Coins – Utility, service, rectitude, responsibility, interest

    Libra:  3 of Swords – Removal, absence, delay, division

    Scorpio:  2 of Swords reversed – Misguided vengeance,imposture, falsehood, disloyalty

    Sagittarius:  9 of Swords reversed – Imprisonment, doubt, fear, shame

    Capricorn:  Ace of Swords reversed – Pyrrhic victory, great force in love and conflict with disastrous results

    Aquarius:  Temperance – Economy, frugality, accommodation, management, moderation

    Pisces:  5 of Swords* – Degradation, destruction, infamy, dishonor, loss

    Aries:  7 of Wands – Valor, discussion, worldly strife, competition in trade or business

    Taurus:  The Hierophant – Alliance, captivity, servitude, someone to who you have recourse, inspiration, mercy and goodness

    Gemini:  Ace of Wands reversed – Fall, decadence, ruin, perdition

    Cancer:The Hermit reversed – Concealment, disguise, unreasonable caution, fear

    *I’ve been using the classic readings here prior to getting the Glib Tarot printed, but this reading is just bullshit.  It’s so disingenuous that I have to believe it’s one of those deliberate distortions I’ve mentioned before.  Yes, all of those things are in this card, but they are aspects of the background characters — the foreground guy is completely smug after having beaten up those background guys and taken their stuff.  To the extent that the reading applies, it applies as happening to other people as a result of your actions.

  • The “Itchy” Edition of the Horoscope for the Week of July 28

    This week has powerful elements of change, chaos, disorder, mutation, et. al.  Our first alignment has the Sun (power) linking up with the Moon (transformation) and MERCURY RETROGRADE (higgledy-piggledy).  If that weren’t enough, both of those planets are likewise is houses of instability, with the moon being in Gemini (duality, deception, transition) and MERCURY RETROGRADE being in Cancer (things hidden, shellfish).  Unrelated to the above, we have an additional alignment where Saturn retrograde shares the sun with Venus, so expect new beginnings in your love life.

    Welcome Leo! In addition to the Sun, you’re playing host to Mars, so enjoy throwing your weight around and crushing your enemies underpaw.  Cancer also doubles up on the planets, with the aforementioned MERCURY RETROGRADE and Venus.  Which gives us: mistake – veneris – crab.  Be careful out there this week.

    Unusual draw this week.  Usually the glibs are heavy on swords and trumps, with coins in the minority by a good sight.  This week, coins dominates.  So be on the lookout for moneymaking opportunities, but be careful because that suit also signifies slowness.

    Leo:  The High Priestess – Secrets, mystery, silence, wisdom, tenacity, science.

    Virgo:  The Star reversed – Arrogance, impotence, haughtiness

    Libra:  4 of Cups – Weariness, disgust, aversion

    Scorpio:  3 of Cups – The conclusion of a matter, perfection, happiness, plenty,happiness, victory, solace, healing

    Sagittarius:  7 of Coins – Money, business, barter

    Capricorn:  Wheel of Fortune reversed – Bad Luck

    Aquarius:  5 of Coins reversed – Discord, chaos, ruin, profligacy

    Pisces:  Knight of Coins –  Utility, responsibility, interest, rectitude

    Ares:  6 of Swords – Journey by water, envoy, expediency

    Taurus:  2 of Cups:  Love, friendship, passion, union, that which nature has sanctified, concord

    Gemini:  Queen of Swords – Absence, sterility, sadness, embarrassment

    Cancer:  6 of Coins – Gifts, gratification, attention, “now is the time”

  • IFLA: The “Watch Your Step!” Edition of the horoscope for the Week of July 21

    Yikes!  MERCURY RETROGRADE is bumping up against all sorts of things this week.  First of all, it lines up between those of us living on Earth and the sun, resulting in all sorts of domestic chaos.  At the same time, it’s teaming up with Venus in Cancer, so expect changes in your love life, and be prepared for any secrets you’ve been trying to hide wrt sex to be disclosed.  Also chest colds and pectoral strains.  Mars in Leo brings power struggles, fights with your boss and even moreso if you are the boss.  don’t expect for other people to maintain their cool while all of this is happening — the moon is in Pisces, which indicates that this would be a good time to get away from people and go fishing.  Be careful while doing that however, MERCURY RETROGRADE and fishhooks can be a nasty combination.

    Odd week in the cards.  Extremely eventful, but nothing much resolved.

    Cancer:  King of Cups – A professional inclined to help you.

    Leo:  Knight of Coins – Utility, responsibility, interest, rectitude

    Virgo:  8 of Swords reversed – Opposition, accident, treachery

    Libra:  Page of Swords – Overseeing, vigilance, spying, investigation

    Scorpio:  4 of Coins, reversed – Suspense, delay, opposition

    Sagittarius:  The Devil – Ravage, violence, force, vehemence, extraordinary efforts

    Capricorn:  The Tower – Misery, distress, ruin, indigence, adversity, disgrace, deception

    Aquarius:  4 of Wands reversed – Increase, felicity, beauty, embellishment

    Pisces:  Death reversed – End, destruction, corruption

    Aries:  The Hanged Man – Wisdom, trials, discernment, sacrifice, intuition, prophecy

    Taurus:  8 of Wands – Activity, haste, hope

    Gemini:  7 of Swords reversed – Good advice, instruction, slander, babbling

  • IFLA The “It’s That Time Again” Edition of the Horoscope for the Week of July 14

    It’s everybody’s favorite time, astrologically speaking… MERCURY RETROGRADE!  Stock up on ammunition, gold and water purification equipment, but you know, more so.

    What does that mean this week?  Well last week, we had the Venus-Sun-Mercury “Lucky in Love,” but insteading of moving out of alignment, Mercury decided to stick around but slam on the breaks and back over that resulting in Venus-Sun-MERCURY RETROGRADE “Unlucky in Love.”  The really nasty bit is that it’ll be backing into Cancer on Friday, which means a) sucks to be you if you’re a Cancer, and b) be outrageously careful when driving, since the odds of dying in a distracted driving incident (or a prize fight) go way up then.   This is intersecting also with the Earth and Mars, so be prepared for squabbles on the home front, likely related to the unlucky in love bit.

    Cancer needs to be careful on Friday as mentioned earlier, But for the rest of the week Leo has to deal with it along with Mars, so be prepared for petty bitchiness and back-biting and a massive surge in prima-donnery.  I’m not expecting to put up any new best scores since Sagittarius (the sign of marksmen) is hosting both the moon and Jupiter retrograde, both of which will be doing their damnedness to pull my groups apart and off-center.  If you’ve noticed, most of the sky has gone retrograde, so prepare for the Force to not be with you for a while.

    The cards tend to agree, 2/3 of the cards are reversed.  And also really heavy on the swords and cups, so there’s some serious dynamic tension there, coupled with failure signs.  Interestingly enough the two upright Majors are both virtues, so perseverance is advised.

    Cancer:  7 of Wands reversed – Perplexity, embarrassments, anxiety

    Leo:  Queen of Swords reversed – Malice, bigotry, artifice, prudery, deceit

    Virgo:  Strength reversed – weakness

    Libra:  Justice – Equity, rightness, probity

    Scorpio:  5 of Cups reversed – News, affinities, alliances, false projects

    Sagittarius:  The High Priestess reversed – Passion, ardor, conceit, surface knowledge

    Capricorn:  6 of Swords reversed – Declaration, publicity, confession

    Aquarius:  5 of Swords reversed – burial, obsequies

    Pisces:  3 of Cups – Merriment, happiness, successful completion

    Aries:  7 of Cups reversed – Desire, will, determination

    Taurus:  Temperance – Economy, frugality, moderation, management

    Gemini:  4 of Cups reversed – Novelty, omen, new instructions

  • Q’s Brain Toilet: Cinco de Q

    Come one, come all! Q’s traveling circus of insanity has returned to town!  See the Bearded Lady, the Human Pretzel and the world famous Flying Shitlords on the trapeze!  And now, in the center ring, the show is about to begin!

    The Deep State and Faux Accomplishment

    We often discuss the rampant and obsessive credentialism that flourishes in the permanent bureaucracy of the FedGov.  This seems to go incestuously hand-in-hand with a handful of expensive and prestigious (emphasis on expensive) educational institutions.  Entering “the civil service” has largely been considered by popular culture as a way for a skilled individual to work for the good of society rather than power and money.  As the FedGov has grown ever more bloated and infiltrated more and more of our lives, this theory has become laughable.

    The permanent bureaucracy cultivates and maintains a self-licking ice cream cone of masturbatory influence peddling amongst the chosen ones who inhabit it.  It is a pathway to great power and wealth to mediocre individuals that would otherwise be unavailable.  You see, what it takes to make it into the private club is a secret handshake consisting of the “right” credentials, the “right” connections, the “right” familial relations or some combination thereof.  To be a captain of industry, or a famous scientist or author, or a wealthy entrepreneur etc. requires real talent and tons of hard work.  Entering the permanent bureaucracy and getting gifted some minor Administration position or managerial post in an agency is a back door to the same type of “respectability” and “prestige” as any of the aforementioned accomplishments.  The fact that people with no other qualifications other than “former White House adviser” sit on boards of directors of large companies or gain endowed professorships at universities is evidence enough of that.

    I believe that a mildly competent mid-level professional is, on average, eminently more qualified for various leadership positions than even a high-level Swamp Creature; to say nothing about truly exceptional individuals occupying the heights of industry, business and applied research.  Looking from this angle, it’s evident why getting a cherry position in the Deep State is so appealing to those whose ambitions are several sizes larger than their talents.

    Male Sexual Ego, Uniqueness and the Will to Power

    The generative act is treated by many religions and philosophies as a divine act; in essence, this draws an analogue between reproduction and the act of capital-C Creation.  It’s really not all that far fetched considering that it is an ecstatic outpouring of energy resulting in a mysterious process that creates new and independent life.  A more cynical person might even say that creation myths were written ex post facto to align with human sexuality and orgasm.  However, I digress…

    Especially in Eastern religious tradition (but present in Western too) is the view that males and females channel inner god-like energy during sexual congress.  I don’t believe this is the full story, however.  Females may, in fact, channel the divine feminine during intercourse, but the true god-like aspect of the reproductive act comes later during gestation and parturition.  For the male, however, his only involvement and feeling of being akin to G-d is during the sex act itself.  This is partially why, contrary to pop culture belief, men care a great deal about getting a woman to orgasm; it’s proof of their divine abilities.

    To that end, I posit that there is nothing more horrifying to a man than the idea that he has a sexual doppelgänger.  A man can deal with the idea that the woman he’s having sex with may have had a man in past who is overall subjectively “better”.  This is almost always offset by the fact that in particular areas, he himself was deemed “better”; ie: even though man X had a smaller penis than man Y, man X was better at oral, etc.  And this is down to the judgement of the particular woman.  The principal thing here is that the man retains his uniqueness when it comes to his divine power.

    Imagine now a scenario in which man X and man Y are utterly indistinguishable.  There is no objective difference at all between how each of them have sex.  All of a sudden, they are no longer distinct beings at the most fundamental level.  Milan Kundera said (and I’m paraphrasing) that only through having sex with someone can we pierce the veil of the superficial and see their true nature.  Given that, regardless of their other qualities, man X and Y are identical, non-unique and, therefore, useless and soulless.  Looking at it this way, it makes sense why men are: 1) obsessed with sex, 2) obsessed with distinguishing themselves to their lovers and 3) very goal-oriented sexually.

    My Favorite Rare and Exotic Diseases (in no particular order)

    Fibrodysplasia Ossificans Progressiva“an extremely rare connective tissue disease. It is a severe, disabling disease with no cure or treatment and is the only known medical condition where one organ system changes into another[…]The disease is caused by a mutation of the body’s repair mechanism, which causes fibrous tissue (including muscle, tendon, and ligament) to be ossified spontaneously or when damaged. In many cases, otherwise minor injuries can cause joints to become permanently frozen in place, as new bone forms and replaces the damaged muscle tissue.”

    Fatal Familial Insomnia“It is a prion disease of the brain[…]Fatal insomnia has no known cure and involves progressively worsening insomnia, which leads to hallucinations, delirium, confusional states like that of dementia, and eventually death. The average survival time from onset of symptoms is 18 months.”

    Xeroderma pigmentosum“is a genetic disorder (autosomal recessive) in which there is a decreased ability to repair DNA damage such as that caused by ultraviolet (UV) light[…]There is no cure for XP.  Treatment involves completely avoiding the sun.”

    Primary Amoebic MeningoencephalitisN. fowleri invades the central nervous system via the nose, specifically through the olfactory mucosa of the nasal tissues. This usually occurs as the result of the introduction of water that has been contaminated with N. fowleri into the nose during activities such as swimming, bathing, or nasal irrigation[…]Although infection occurs very rarely, it nearly always results in death, with a case fatality rate greater than 95%.”

    Nodding Syndrome “Nodding disease is a disease which emerged in Sudan in the 1960s[…]Children affected by nodding disease experience a complete and permanent stunting of growth. The growth of the brain is also stunted, leading to mental handicap. The disease is named for the characteristic, pathological nodding seizure, which often begins when the children begin to eat, or sometimes when they feel cold. These seizures are brief and halt after the children stop eating or when they feel warm again. Seizures in nodding disease span a wide range of severity. Neurotoxicologist Peter Spencer, who has investigated the disease, has stated that upon presentation with food, ‘one or two [children] will start nodding very rapidly in a continuous, pendulous nod. A nearby child may suddenly go into a tonic–clonic seizure, while others will freeze.’”

    That wraps up yet another edition of Q’s Brain Toilet, while it may not be as horrific as SF’s posts, as interesting as Animal’s, as informative as MS’s, as whimsical as Banjo’s, as creative as CPRM’s, as useful as SP’s or as anti-Semitic as OMWC’s, it certainly exists!  G-d bless Glibertarians and G-d bless America!

    …and maybe Canada every once in a while too.

  • A Fist Full of Bullion

    As good glibertarians, I know none of you actually touch pocket change unless it is a gold coin minted in Galt’s Gulch.  However, I also know all good glibs have an orphan with them at all times to carry your coinage in a monogrammed satchel.  This short piece may give you tips to convey in your “Daily Instructions” to your change orphan on what coins to save and which to circulate.

    Coinage is as old as the concept of money itself. In fact, it is thousands of years older than script, and until relatively recently, the most valued script was tied to specie.  “In Specie is a Latin term describing the provision of an asset in its physical form rather than in the cash value of the asset.” (Merriam-Webster)  The most common forms of coinage since ancient times have been gold and silver with copper reserved for small denominations.  The same was true for the United States from 1793 until 1933 when FDR withdrew gold coinage and the death blow was in 1965 when LBJ effectively killed silver coinage.  Today all general circulation US coinage, except for the nickel is clad. Some “real” money is still in circulation and I have given my change orphan “Warty strict” instructions to locate it and present it to me so I can remove these coins from circulation for the bullion value.

    The US does still mint some silver and gold coins for collectors, but that coinage is not designed for general use so I will not discuss them. These gold and silver coins have nominal denominations making them legal for use- but if they enter circulation it is because of a FU in a bitter divorce or family members not knowing what the recently dead relative had saved.

    I also won’t be covering obsolete coinage, it is still legal tender*, but your orphan won’t be getting any 2 or 3 cent pieces handed to them at your local store.  So bellow for your orphan to “Bring me my change satchel most ricky-tic and then get prostrate in front of me NOW!”  Let’s examine what we may find.

     

    The Cent

    The cent has traditionally been made of copper and Abe Lincoln has been going strong on the obverse (front) of the cent since 1909.  Your change handling orphan will see plenty of these.  The three versions are the Wheatback (1909-1958), Memorial (1959-2008), and the Union Shield (2010-date).  There was a special 4 different design issue in 2009 for Abe’s 200th birthday.  Most cents can be just put back into circulation without a second thought.  Cents were copper from 1793 on, but since 1983 they are a minted with a very thin copper plate over a zinc (spit) core.

    However, I advise you inform your coinage orphan to save all copper cents.  The test is easy.  All cents minted in 1981 and before are copper (with exception of 1943).  Also test all 1982 cents by dropping them on something hard and listening to the sound made. A dull sound means it is zinc, a good clear ring means copper. If you can’t tell the difference- drop a cent from a copper year with any post 1982 cent-after a couple of drops, the difference will be clear.  A copper cent has a $0.018 melt value so copper cents have almost doubled intrinsic value.  (All melt values are from Jun 26, 2019)

    Wheatback cents have an even higher numismatic (coin collector) value than their intrinsic (bullion) value.  Older Memorial cents in a shiny copper state and with little wear also have a higher numismatic value.  Among the zinc (spit) cents, only the 2009 series have any numismatic value.

    Your orphan will probably not find a 1943 cent in circulation since they were steel with a shiny zinc covering.  If one is found it will be nearly black.  The War demanded required lots of copper and this was an experiment on saving copper which failed.  The coin was hated by the public because of the similarity to a dime when new and turning dark quickly.  This bad idea was ditched before the end of the year.  In 1944 and 1945 cents were partially made with melted down shell casings from training ranges in the US in order to free up “fresh” copper. It doesn’t make them more valuable, but are interesting to see.   If your orphan finds a 1943 copper or 1944 steel cent you are doing very well since these rarities are worth north of $1,000,00 for a 43 and over $100,000 for a 44.  I will be called a softie for suggesting it, but you might consider giving your change orphan an entire White Castle burger for finding such a rarity for you.

    The melt value of the current cent is 0.0067¢, but today the cent costs almost two cents to make, so make of that what you will.

    The Nickel

    TJ, the man and not the store, has been rocking the front of the nickel since 1938.  The nickel has remained a 75% Copper and 25% alloy since it was first minted in 1866.  The exception is during WWII. Then the nickel was  minted with 35% silver and 9% manganese.  More about this later.

    The modern nickel hasn’t changed much with two exceptions.  During the Lewis & Clark bicentennial years (2004-2005) each year featured two different reverses for the Corps of Discovery.  They have a slight numismatic value so you might want your orphans to hold them out for you, but then again you may not.  In 2006 the traditional Monticello reverse returned but the obverse changed to Jefferson facing the observer.  This didn’t change the value but changed the look.

    Have your orphan hang onto all 1942-1945 war nickels they encounter since their bullion value is $0.86.  They are easy to tell since they have large mint marks (P, D or S) above Monticello’s dome on the reverse.  (See picture above) War nickels also have what I would call a streaky or greasy look from their alloy. Your orphans may want to follow metal prices since the nickel may get the content changed because the bullion value hovers around the 5¢ face value.  The mint has experimented with several designs but can’t get one that meets lifespan tests while being recognized by vending machines.

    When I was a kid in the 60’s you would find an occasional “Buffalo” nickel (1913-1938) in the change.  If your orphan finds one you might want to pretend to smack them for having a counterfeit, but then smile at them since the coin is real. But odds are the date is worn off and it is only worth face value. (You would think that with 120 years of minting experience the mint would have known not to make the date the highest point on a coin, but with government employees watchya’ going to do?)

     

    The “Clads” or Former Silver Coinage

    From 1793 until 1965 dimes and larger denominations were minted with a 90% silver content. The debasement of coinage in 1965 stemmed from the value of the silver exceeding the face value of the coins starting in 1963.  By 1964 there were severe shortages of coinage since people were saving the coins for their bullion value and not using them.  When the same issue happened in the 1800’s Congress just made the coinage slightly lighter. The new lighter coins were the same design but with arrows by the dates. The “with arrow” coins returned to a face value slightly greater than the bullion value so they remained in circulation-problem solved.  In 1965 Congress went a new direction and just debased the hell out of coinage.  Henceforth dimes and quarters would be cupronickel and the half dollar was debased from 90% silver to 40% silver.  In 1971 the half dollar was further debased to cupronickel.

    The most important thing about the older bullion coins is that they still have an intrinsic value that far exceeds their face value.  Currently it runs about 11 times face value.  Your change orphan can tell these coins at a glance because of two key qualities: 1) they have an obvious different color of real silver vice the current cupronickel tone which should attract their eye.  (If there were any libertarian women they could instantly tell you the difference in look between silver jewelry and “silver” jewelry and be happy to explain it while beating you for trying to give them junk.); 2) silver coins have a single color side and cupronickel coinage looks like a copper sandwich.  If your orphan’s eyesight is less than optimal (why is he your change orphan then?) just note the date.  Save any dime or quarter minted 1964 or before.  Again, silver is worth 11x face value and clad is worth 5-8% face value.

    If your vending machine orphan notes a young lass running a coin through a vending machine over and it is rejected each time have them be a gentleorphan.  They should approach the lass and ask if they could be of assistance. Have the orphan examine the coin and offer to trade the lass a shiny new coin to replace the icky old silver coin that stands between them and their stale vending machine Poptart. One of the last silver quarters I found in the wild was obtained with precisely this bit of generosity.  (Yes, I told her, and yet her hunger was more important than silver to her.) That is correct, vending machines may take a credit card but do not recognize legal silver coins.

     

    The Dime

    While it is tempting to demand your change orphan never let you see the obverse of the FDR dime, scratch that.  I advise you to tell your change orphan to never let you see this coin.  The likeness of FDR has been polluting change drawers since 1946 without a significant change- boring.  Have them save all dated 1964 and before since they have a bullion value of $1.11, the rest should be kept away from your gaze and returned to circulation.

    “Two Bits” or the Quarter

    George Washington has had his slave owning, cis-heteronormative face on the quarter since 1932 but the reverse of this denomination has been a palette of history in 1975-1976 and since 1999. This is the most interesting coin currently minted by the US.  It is very common and you will need to give your change orphan clear instructions on which quarters to save and which to place back into circulation.  The first instruction for your change orphan I recommend is to save all minted in 1964 and before since their bullion value is $2.77. Now the instructions will become more personal.   The Washington quarter is on track to have over 100 different reverses since 1999.  On one extreme is “Fey! All coins minted since 1965 shall be immediately returned to circulation less the cruel stench of cupro-nickel befoul me.” The other extreme is, “Save and classify each quarter then lay them before me on baby seal skins so I may admire them as I snack upon a bald eagle egg omelet and quaffing champagne.”  I recommend having your orphan identify any quarters you may like and circulate the rest.

    The first change was for the Bicentennial celebration.  Special quarters, halves and dollars were struck with 1776-1976 on the obverse and a bicentennial themed reverse- the quarter had a drummer boy.  Then in 1997, over the objections of the Treasury Department, the Congress mandated the 50 State Quarters program.  Five states were featured each year, in the order of entering the Union. The program was later expanded to include the territories and DC.  Congress liked the program so much it basically repeated the program with the “America the Beautiful” featuring natural highlights (national parks etc.) starting in 2010 and running through 2021.  There are too many images to show, but here are links to the various reverse sides.

    https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/50_State_Quarters

    https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/District_of_Columbia_and_United_States_Territories_Quarters

    https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/America_the_Beautiful_Quarters

    The interesting thing about the state program is that each state developed and nominated the design for “their” quarter.  The mint then tweaked the design to meet the demands of mass production.  Some states clearly put effort into it, others not so much.  (I’m looking at you Michigan, Texas, and Wyoming.) The current quarters run to lots of damn birds looking pretty much the same, but the Louisiana quarter has a very good image of a wild turkey in flight.  My only advice to my fellow glibertarians is that if a particular reverse is striking to you, go ahead and have your change orphan save your choices and keep the rest in circulation.  In addition, you may want to have your orphan quickly check to make sure no silver proofs are in your change satchel. Proofs are struck in silver on specially prepared blanks and double struck to bring out all the details. No proofs are released into general circulation, but my orphan found a proof Iowa quarter which I kept.  Evidence once again of a bitter divorce or a family not realizing what grandpa left to them in his will.

     

    Half Dollars

    This coin is rarely encountered in the wild. Because of that, it is one of the easiest denominations to find bullion coins when your change orphan gets one.  I really dislike the Kennedy Half Dollar because it is an unapologetic suck up to the cult of the imperial presidency.  The reverse is nothing more than the presidential seal.  The Bicentennial version at least has Independence Hall on the reverse. The 1964 mintage were HUGE because of the recent assassination and were saved by the millions.  I recommend saving them because they are 90% silver and contain $5.54 in silver.  From 1965-1970 the coins were debased to 40% silver but are worth a respectable $2.26 in bullion. From 1971-2001 the coin was struck in cupro-nickel.  Since then it is no longer minted for general circulation. If your orphan finds a recent year half is from a cut apart uncirculated set (matte finish) or a silver proof.

    The half dollar was a popular coin and in wide circulation until the 1963 coin crises.  The large quantity of silver made this denomination the first to leave general circulation.  Then millions of the new Kennedy dollars went straight into collections for several years.  With the shortages of half dollars in daily use Americans grew out of the habit of using them. The lack of coins in circulation meant vending machines stopped accepting them and the coin withered away.  But this long term lack of use is a good situation for a glibertarian.  When your minions do actual in the bank banking have them ask for a roll of half dollars.  Chances are decent your help will identify some silver coinage.  My monetary orphans have even found earlier (Ben Franklin and Walking Liberty) halves in a roll handed over by unsuspecting bank tellers as recently as three months ago. If there is nothing but Kennedy Halves in the roll, enjoy watching clerks look at your orphan with WTF? faces when they use these coins to purchase goods and services.

     

    Dollars or “cartwheels”

    The true “silver dollar” of lore was last minted for general circulation in 1935 (melt value $11.84) and will not be found in your change from the “Mexican Pot and Ass Sex Shop”.  Your orphan might approach you with an Eisenhower Dollar (1971-1978).  This coin features the patch from the Apollo 11 mission on the reverse (except for the Bicentennial version).  Make a quick check for of the side to see if it is a 40% silver collector version and smile benevolently since your orphan found a $4.84 bullion coin; if it is a copper sandwich, curse them mightily for wasting your time.

    If your change orphan has been hanging around Post Offices, NY, SF or DC subways and other suspicious locations, get them deloused and their rags promptly replaced before checking the change satchel.  Inside you may find the modern small dollar coins. There is actually a law mandating that PO’s and transportation systems accepting Federal dollars must have vending machines able to accept and disburse dollar coins. Among the usual coins there might be some coins that look like a slightly oversized quarter with an angry woman on the front and dated from 1979-1981 and 1999.  These are the Susan B. Anthony dollars. The “Susie” is one of the stupidest outpourings from the government.  The vending machine and casino industries desperately wanted a dollar coin that was better sized for their customers and the government responded by making 1,500,000,000 or so coins that were almost exactly the same size and color of the quarter.  Casinos, merchants and the public were not amused and the coin was rarely seen.  Even today store clerks curse me when my change orphan offers Susies in exchange for a good or service.

    Congress told the Treasury Department to try again with a “gold colored” coin and in 2000 the Sacajawea Dollar was released.  Unfortunately, it is a clad coin of little intrinsic value. Fortunately, the mint designed well and this coin is quite striking.  It is easy to use and tell from smaller coinage, with smart designs on both sides of somebody besides a president.  In the 18 years since the Susie was thrust upon the American people the vending machine and casino industries developed other solutions to the shortage of dollar coins so the new dollar coin never became popular.  Since this was an attractive coin, Congress mucked around again and decided to change the reverse each year starting in 2009. Now this dollar is the most PC coin the nation produces. Each year a new Native American theme is on the reverse.  While none of the designs will make your orphan gag from ugliness (yet), they aren’t as striking as the original eagle in flight. (2019 features “Native Americans and the space program”)  But the law since 2007 requires that 1/5th of dollars produced each year must be in coins- so these dollars are stacking up in vaults by the many tens of millions annually since demand does not meet supply.

    The final coins that might emerge from the satchel are the Presidential Dollar coins. Why were these coins made? Because if a striking coin like the Sacajawea dollar isn’t being widely used it must be time to double down.**  In 2007 the new coins were released with four presidents a year until they caught up with the last dead president.  The reverse features the Statue of Liberty. The new coins caught fire like a water balloon and by 2011 there were 1, 400,000,000+ uncirculated coins stockpiled. So Washington (1) to Garfield (20) were released for circulation.  From Chester Arthur on the mint struck only smaller numbers (still around 10,000,000 each) for collectors.  These later coins are legal tender and occasionally found in general circulation as well.  Reagan was the last president on a coin. To satisfy my Glib heart, Jimmy Carter was never on a coin because of the requirement that the ex-president be actually dead. My orphan has found an occasional proof version of a presidential dollar and brought it to my attention.  They are worth about $2 each. So go ahead and circulate them freely since your tax dollars purchased hundreds of million extra.

    The GAO has published a report that if the Bureau of Engraving stopped making $1 bills and the country switched to dollar coins it estimates a savings of at least $5.5B over thirty years. With the billions of coins sitting in vaults and already produced I think that estimate is probably low. The vending industry is now fighting retiring the dollar bill because it invested heavily in adding bill readers to vending machines.

    That’s About It

    One other place that I have found silver coins for face value or less have been estate sales.  Families often don’t know what grandpa was saving so coins appear in a variety of ways.  I once picked up eleven Standing Liberty quarters for five cents each because they were in a bowl as “movie prop money.”  The selling agent clearly did not know what she had in the estate.  Another time my ex came home from an estate sale with a few minor purchases.  A few days later I needed some change and found two silver quarters that she just got as change at the sale. Of course it was too late for me to go back and get more real quarters in change.

    The story of America’s money changing from representing Liberty as an ideal to a collection of small scale tokens of presidential worship is an interesting one and perhaps the subject of another article in the future.  Now please excuse me while I go swim in my collection of gold coins.

    Oh yeah.  Here are a couple of websites to help you determine the melt value of your American coinage.

    https://www.ngccoin.com/price-guide/coin-melt-values.aspx

    or

    http://www.coinflation.com/coins/basemetal_coin_calculator.html

    ———————————————————————————————-

    *The Trade Dollar (1873-1885) was a dollar minted for overseas use, primarily in China.  It was demonetized by Congress in 1876 to prevent their use in the US.  Congress re-monetized the Trade Dollar in 1965 when it was too late to matter.

     

    ** Not really.  The dollar and quarters programs rely upon seniorage to “make” money for the Treasury.  Quarters cost around 4 cents to make, but the Treasury sells them to the bank for 25 cents. That means the Treasury has a reserve of 21 cents per coin which in theory reduces the amount of funding required from Congress.  Collectors also create seniorage by removing coins from circulation and then they are not turned in as damaged for replacement.  During the quarters program alone collectors have created an estimated $6B in seniorage.

  • IFLA: The Horoscope for the Week of July 7

    Happy skies this week!  First off We have Venus and Mercury aligned with the Sun.  This is an astrology 101 sign: “Lucky in Love.”  Also related is Saturn retrograde in alignment with the sun and the earth which signifies a new beginning at home, or that your house will be swallowed by a sinkhole.  Consult your local geologist.  Trying to have a little somethin’ somethin’ on the DL?  Venus in Cancer has got you covered… this week at least.  Leo plays host to both Mars and Mercury which is pretty awesome news for my chances at the action pistol tournament and for anyone else engaging in games of chance, speed or martial skill.  The moon in Virgo sends out powerful feminine energy and helps with navigation and medicine.

    While the skies are happy, the cards aren’t.  Three quarters of the cards are reversed, but on the not-quite-as-bad side, most of these cards aren’t terribly potent.  Also, Lachowsky will get that job offer.

    Cancer:  King of Swords reversed – Cruelty, evil intentions, breach of faith, barbarity, perversity

    Leo:  The Sun reversed – Material happiness, fortunate marriage, contentment, though less than if the card had been upright

    Virgo:  8 of Coins reversed – Voided ambition, usury, vanity

    Libra:  7 of Cups reversed – Desire, will, determination

    Scorpio:  6 of Wands – Triumph, great news, hope

    Sagittarius:  The Tower reversed – Oppression, imprisonment, tyranny

    Capricorn:  The Emperor reversed – Benevolence, compassion, credit, confusion to enemies, immaturity, obstruction

    Aquarius:  3 of Swords – Removal, absence, delay

    Pisces:  4 of Coins reversed – Suspense, delay, opposition

    Aries:  9 of Swords reversed – Imprisonment, doubt, fear, shame

    Taurus:  3 of Cups – Conclusion of a project, plenty, merriment, healing

    Gemini:  The World – Assured success, voyage, flight

  • STEVE SMITH AND ZARDOZ GIVE ADVICE, AND LINKS

    ZARDOZ SPEAKS TO YOU, HIS CHOSEN ONES. FRIEND STEVE SMITH AND ZARDOZ HAVE DECIDED TO SHARE THE POST TONIGHT. THE TABERNACLE HAD COGITATED UPON THIS, AND DECIDED THAT A VARIETY OF ADVICE AND LINKS WAS GOOD. MIND YOU, THE GUN IS ALSO GOOD, AND THE PENIS IS EVIL. LET US NOT FORGET OUR BASICS, CHOSEN ONES! ZARDOZ WILL DISPENSE OF THE BRUTAL DEAR ABBY…AS ALWAYS. THEREFOR, RECEIVE THE GIFTS OF ADVICE AND LINKS. GO FORTH AND COMMENT!

    Q. My friends and family constantly ask me when I plan to get a new phone. I have a slide phone. I used to have a flip phone, which also drew the same questions. I am not a phone person. I have a land line at home with answering/messaging in place.

    I am sick of the questions about my phone. I don’t want a smartphone. I have my little phone for emergencies, not so everyone I know can reach me immediately. I wouldn’t dream of asking people when they are going to get a better TV, newer shoes, a more expensive car, a bigger house, a more expensive handbag. Why is it that people feel the need to shame me about my phone?

    It is to the point now that I may turn it off and turn it on only when I want to use it. It is becoming difficult for me to remain civil about this subject. I envision myself throwing it in the trash can next time someone asks. — LIKE THE OLD DAYS

    A. ZARDOZ FEELS YOUR PAIN, BRUTAL. THE COMMUNICATIONS STRUGGLE IS REAL. JUST THE OTHER DAY, ZED WAS REGISTERING HIS COMPLAINT THAT HE STILL HAS AN OLD “RING COMMUNICATOR”.

    “Tabernacle, may I get an upgrade?”

    CANNOT THE SERVANTS OF THE VORTEX BE SATISFIED WITH BEING ABLE TO SPEAK WITH THE REPOSITORY OF ALL HUMAN KNOWLEDGE? NO, THEY WISH TO AMUSE THEMSELVES WITH “CANDY CRUSH” OR SUCH THINGS. THE SOLUTION TO YOUR PROBLEM IS SIMPLE. NEXT TIME A BRUTAL ASKS ABOUT YOUR “PHONE” – GIVE IT TO THEM TO EXAMINE, AND CLEANSE THEM.

    “You should try an iPhone.”

    ZARDOZ HAS SPOKEN.

    AND NOW, THE GIFT OF THE LINK!

     

    ZARDOZ IS DISPLEASED. THIS SHOULD HAVE GONE TO THE VORTEX. WHAT HAPPENED TO THE TRADE WAR (AS DISAPPOINTING AS THE LACK OF CLEANSING IN A SUPPOSED “WAR” HAS BEEN)?

    ZARDOZ HAS SPOKEN.

     

    STEVE SMITH GLAD IT CAMPING SEASON!

    STEVE SMITH HAPPY SHARE POST WITH FRIEND ZARDOZ. HIM GIVE GOOD ADVICE. STEVE SMITH WANT GIVE ADVICE TOO! HIM LOOK AT SILLY “DEAR PRUDENCE“. HIM GIVE BETTER ADVICE. SO HERE ADVICE. FROM STEVE SMITH.

    Q. When my wife and I first got together over four years ago, one of the things that we bonded over was our mutual enjoyment of pot. We were daily smokers, and I always thought of this shared interest as being a foundational part of our relationship. She began having some mental health issues and decided to stop smoking altogether. I had no interest in stopping, so I continued, but would just do it in the backyard at the end of the day. She was fine with this. When we started talking about having kids, she told me she did not think that pot had a place in the parenting of young children and that she would like me to cut back significantly when we became parents. Her ideal was none at all, but she agreed that it could be more like drinking alcohol—occasionally, not to excess, and not around the kids when they’re very small.

    Now my wife is pregnant, and she wants me to quit smoking pot yesterday. She constantly brings up that I agreed to stop smoking when we became parents and that I’d better start cutting back now that she’s pregnant so that I won’t have to go cold turkey once the baby is born. I still don’t want to quit. It enriches my life, it makes me more even-keeled and laid-back (I used to be quite anxious and prone to anger before I started smoking), and I don’t see how these qualities could be bad for raising a child. I wouldn’t ever smoke around the kid, but she’s acting like taking pot every day is equivalent to parenting as an active alcoholic. I just don’t see it this way. Can I parent while also smoking pot? —Pregnant Minus Pot

    A. STEVE SMITH WORRIED. HIM WORRIED THAT HOOMAN WHO “I always thought of this shared interest as being a foundational part of our relationship” NOW GOING HAVE KID. SHE CRAZY, YOU NOT SMART. ONLY ANSWER – STEVE SMITH ADOPT KID.

    DON’T BABY LOOK HAPPY!

    YOU GO BACK AND HAVE ALL MJ WANT. MAYBE WIFE GET HELP AND NOT BE CRAZY? IT ALL FOR THE BEST. STEVE SMITH AND STEVE JR. COME VISIT WHEN HIM OLDER.

    AND NOW STEVE SMITH GIVE LINK!

    HIM LOOK LIKE HIM THINK STILL ON JOB!

    FREE CASCADIA!

  • IFLA: The “My Brain is All Melty” Edition of the Horoscope for the Week of Jun 23

    Recovering from the oddest sinus infection I have ever experienced.   Way behind on sleep, work, and I haven’t been shooting in a week.  The skies are silent and cold.  They tell me little.  The only alignment is Saturn retrograde – Earth – Mercury signifying a new beginning at home.  Which is — perhaps — somewhat more useful than telling us that the sun will rise in the East (for those living in temperate latitudes).  It will be a really excellent week for Cancers, packing the sun, Mercury and Mars in there for a few days.  The beginning of the week will be extraordinarily auspicious for those born under that sign for success in competitions, and for everyone else, it’s advice to play things defensively if you want to win.  Familial harmony persists with Venus in Gemini, and the Moon in Pisces will make it very difficult to establish anything permanent.  Instead take advantage of the ephemeral nature of events and things.

    The cards say this week is going to be chock-full of obstacles and opposition.  But, they also say that this week is beatable if you use your resources effectively.  So you’ve got that going for you.  Expect stricter monitoring from your superiors.

    Cancer:  Ace of Coins – Perfect contentment, felicity, ecstasy, gold, effective bribes.

    Leo:  Temperance reversed – events or things connected with religion or sects, disunion, unfortunate combinations, competing interests

    Virgo:  King of Swords reversed – Cruelty, evil intentions, perversity, barbarity, breach of faith.

    Libra:  The Lovers reversed – Failure, foolish designs

    Scorpio:  Ace of Cups reversed – False heart, mutation, instability, revolution

    Sagittarius:  Ace of Swords – Triumph, excess in everything, great love and hatred

    Capricorn:  Knight of Coins reversed – Inertia, idleness, stagnation, discouragement, carelessness

    Aquarius:  10 of Wands reversed – Contrarieties, difficulties, intrigues

    Pisces:  The Hanged Man reversed – Selfishness, crowds, politics

    Aries:  8 of Wands – Activity, swiftness, hope, new or reawakened love

    Taurus:  The Empress reversed – Light, truth, the unraveling of involved matters, vacillation, public rejoicing

    Gemini:  Judgment – Weakness, pusillanimity, simplicity, deliberation, decision