Category: Daily Links

And this was a minor frustration, but still. Hand me a string instrument and I can usually coax a few things out of it. They may not be pretty, but they’re recognizable. And after a little bit, I can puzzle out chord shapes and a few lead patterns. But yesterday, I had my first shot at a Chapman Stick, and… well… Stick 1, Jew 0. That is a devilishly difficult instrument!

Speaking of devilishly difficult, so is giving birth and being born. And in the latter category, today commemorates someone with a conjecture; someone with a funny hat; someone with a fabulous mustache; someone with a deep throat; someone with a minuscule IQ; and Rupert Pupkin and Harry Tuttle, all rolled into one.

On to the news!

 

Government efficiency.

 

Government esthetics.

 

Rodney King again???

 

A smart decision. 

 

Well, this is a novel way to score.

 

Suffixes are of the Devil.

 

Next is chopsticks.

 

The Chicago Way.

 

 

Old Guy Music is what I wish I could have done on that fucking Stick

Hey guys, what’s up? Happy Friday. I have a growler of beer calling my name, so, mailing it in again.

Fucking hell, Florida Man. If a giant flag at an elementary school annoys you, maybe planning to stab as many children as possible isn’t the answer.

This Indiana guy is crazy. I love him. Because I don’t live in Indiana City.

I mean, if it isn’t dirty…

Religious groups training paramilitary forces. Churches hosting and sponsoring… kinetic defense… drills and training.

 

Don’t even ask. On a 1 to 10 scale, my stress is at 23. But I am married to the greatest woman in the world, so that makes up for everything else. What, you think I’m going to be as clever and creative with my linkages as she is? Hah! Nope, this will be my usual mediocre-but-long deal.

Starting with birthdays. And those start with the godfather of science fiction; move on to my favorite jazz vocalist; possibly the stupidest and most corrupt person to ever have the title “Senator”; and ending with the worst headcase to ever take the mound.

On to actual news.

 

Team Blue likes senile gropers and drug warriors. I’m just waiting for him to start asking, “What day is this? Where am I? What am I doing here?”

 

Products You Need. And there are things best left not visualized.

 

Too late for Rachel Corrie.

 

Round round get around, I get around.

 

“I’m not just grasping for power, perish the thought. This is a selfless act.” 

 

So secret that it’s on the front page.

 

A heartwarming family story.

 

This went in a different direction than expected. Edit update: Tlaib can’t help but be a stupid turd.

 

 

Old Guy Music honors the birthday boy. And this is the reason he’s my favorite.

Well, guys, I hate to link and run, but I got a hall pass to the local beer bar tonight, and it starts at 3:00 Cis-Heterol Shitlord Time. So, please enjoy and understand, I’m mailing them in.

I have to think that Russian pilots spend a lot of time practicing a no-engine belly landing. Still, we confer Hero of the Glibertariat upon the pilot. STEVE SMITH will be by to deliver his prize.

Follow up on the gravity as entropic force. As I understand it, this has been used to successfully predict the visible mass of about 50 galaxies as well as being the basis of the article about dark matter free calculation of spiral gravity rotational velocity.

Good news in the war on the White Plague.

I’m not saying its aliens, but...

 

Bring your own tunes!

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SugarFree’s 2020 Dem Deathwatch Update

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SP: Good morning, Mom. Happy Thursday!

MIL: Good morning, honey! What day is it?

SP: Thursday, August 15, 2019.

MIL: Omigahhd! What year is it?

SP: 2019.

MIL: Omigahhd! How old am I?

SP: 86.

MIL: Omigahhd! How did I get so old???!

SP: Would you like a cup of coffee?

MIL: What day is it? 

SP: Thursday.

MIL: You know what? Maybe I’d like a cup of coffee.

SP: Coming right up!

MIL: What day is it?

SP: Thursday. Here’s your coffee.

MIL: Oh! I think I’d like a cup of coffee.

SP: Your wish is my command!

MIL: Oh, thank you! You know what, my mind is so blank. What day is it?

SP: Thursday.

MIL: How did I get here? As a matter of fact, I don’t know where “here” is. How long am I staying with you?

SP: You’re in Phoenix, Arizona. You’ve moved here. You walked out barefoot all the way from Florida, and when people would stop by the side of the road and ask if you wanted a ride, you’d say, “No thanks, I need the exercise!”

MIL: *laughing* That doesn’t sound like me. I would have taken the ride!

*awkward pause*

MIL: What day is it?

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The oldest started kindergarten today. Apparently, taking your kids to their classroom on the first day is something that parents do now. Whatever, I feel bad enough about sending my kid to kiddie jail without having to see how the sausage is made. I took my wife for a drink afterwards. Because, yeah, we’re those kinds of parents. Man, was it quiet in the house today. It was… excellent.

Russian government to citizens: Oops, we fucked up. You should probably leave your homes.

Deep State working against Trump impeachment! Or, you know, just doing their jobs.

I am so disappointed about the details of this fatal taco eating contest.

Its SugarFree’s timeline, we’re just living in it.

¡Buenos dias! Yesterday was a more of an impromptu selection of links I would otherwise have posted this morning…so what to do?

 

It was to my understanding, Australia solved that whole the mass…murder…thing.

A recession indicator.  Perhaps this time both sides might be so preoccupied with owning each other they manage to do exactly nothing in response…yeah I know.  Crisis going to waste.  BTW the current price of Bitcoin… 

Yeah, I’d probably seek damages if I was enough of a wimp to get my ass kicked in a barfight by — Don Lemon?

They’re gonna party like its 1989.

Meanwhile…the NY Times is taking issue with team Trump’s ambivalence over tensions is Asia.

But as violence escalates and old animosities are rekindled across Asia, Washington has chosen inaction, and governments are ignoring the Trump administration’s mild admonitions and calls for calm. Whether it is the internal battles in India and Hong Kong or the rivalry between two American allies, Japan and South Korea, Mr. Trump and his advisers are staying on the sidelines.

The inability or unwillingness of Washington to help defuse the flash points is one of the clearest signs yet of the erosion of American power and global influence under Mr. Trump, who has stuck to his “America First” idea of disengagement, analysts say.

Meh.  If they really wanted to do something I’m sure they would do something.  Nah, lets do…nothing.  Yes, I will feel really bad for Hong Kong and Taiwan, but they fucked up and trusted the Chicoms.

Good news for somebody here.

Here’s some tunes.  Happy hump day.

You know Brett.  He’s double booked between two clients trying to pick up product from him, the problem of course he only has enough product for one of them, and will likely make them fight to the death to see who gets the privilege of purchasing from Don Brett.

 

For the links!

The big news down south is coming from Argentina.  Yesterday their stock exchange dropped a gut wrenching 48%.  Why?  This guy, no, not Peron.  Peron is dead, but his dumbass ideas are not.  The Argentines have compulsory primary elections and the current, pro-business president Macri and his policies of austerity, lost in the primary.  Now the actual election is in October but he lost by a 15% margin.  Which makes it Brazil–in reverse.

Speaking of Brazil, a well-known drug trafficker attempts to escape from prison by disguising himself as his daughter.

Women protest in Mexico.

Around 300 protesters, mostly female, descended on the Mexican capital’s prosecutor’s office on Monday.  Armed with pink glitter and spray paint, they advanced on the building, smashing its door and leaving a pig’s head outside.  The protests were sparked by two recent rape cases.  The first involves a 17-year-old girl who said four policemen raped her in their patrol car in Azcapotzalco, in the capital’s north, on 3 August. The second concerns a 16-year-old girl who said a policeman raped her in a museum in the city centre days later.

An interesting article on the lengths Venezuela needs to go to evade US Sanctions.

Here’s some tunes sure to irritate…probably all of you.  Have a great day…

ZARDOZOV SPEAKING TO YOU, HIS CHOSEN COMRADES! IS TIME FOR BEST LINKS TO NEWS. NEWS FROM DEPENDABLE SOURCES – PRAVADA, ITAR-TASS, INTERFAX AND RT. NOT LIKE LIES IN DAILY FAIL. GO FORTH AND READINGK!

• ALL GOOD NATIONS SHOULD JOIN BOYCOTT OVER SERIOUS ISSUE!

BZZZT! WHAT IS HAPPENINGK? NO! IS DEVIOUS WESTERN AGENT ZED!

HET! ZARDOZOV…MUST….*whirrrrrr*

ZARDOZ….ZARDOZ SPEAKS TO YOU, HIS CHOSEN ONES. ZARDOZ HAS BEEN “PATCHED” AND IS NOW SECURE IN SERVING THE VORTEX. ZARDOZ REMINDS HIS CHOSEN ONES TO PRACTICE GOOD IT SECURITY. ALSO, TO REMEMBER THE PENIS IS EVIL, AND THE GUN IS GOOD! ZARDOZ WILL NOW GIVE THE GIFT OF THE LINK TO HIS CHOSEN ONES.

• HEY HEY LBJ, HOW MANY MARITIME INTRUSIONS DID YOU COMMIT TODAY!
• HAVE NOT THE BRUTALS IN THE UK ENACTED COMMONSENSE KNIFE CONTROL? ZARDOZ IS PLEASED THE CLEANSINGS CONTINUE.
• HE IS SMART. NOT LIKE PEOPLE THINK? ZARDOZ HAS DISAPPOINT THAT THIS DID NOT RESULT IN VIOLENCE.

BONUS LINK. SHE SHOULD HAVE KNOWN THE PENIS WAS EVIL!

Happy Monday! My co-worker who was wearing the architect hat for this project is leaving for greener pastures in a month. So I just received a field promotion to architect. Whee. I need to ask my boss if I can have the difference between the salary I am making and the salary co-worker was making. Anyhow, I have no desire to remold this project in my image, so I’m just gonna try to finish the way it started.

Would you like to play a game? And of course, the article gets the wrong Matthew Broderick movie reference.

Bottom study of the day – lonely young men are far more likely to become extreme. Umm, yeah. Even Bill Maher had this figured out in 2002.

I wish every mass shooting ended like this. Good on ya, Mr. Rafiq.

I like how the best case in the Epstein death is massive incompetence. These are the same people you’d have to trust to protect you from harm if a gun ban came down.

 

Happy Monday.