Yeah. I’ve been busy as shit today and have nothing to show for it. Well, I have an appointment to potentially get my rectum catastrophically redecorated by the Ford dealership because a wiring harness fails in a (not at all) fun and exciting way on my Expedition. And I talked to a lot of people. Meetings, meetings everywhere, and not much addressed in my actual work.How the hell is your Monday?
Bitch, what part of “I need to go to yoga to deal with my anger issues” didn’t you get?!
Sure, put a chip in your head. Make sure it has wi-fi or bluetooth so its firmware can be updated, too. You just went on the list of hyper-intelligent morons.
Is there anyone NOT running for President in 2020?
After failing miserably to prove Russiagate, Democrats are moving on to try to prove obstructions of justice. From what I gather from the batshit crazy TDS types on the Twitter, they couldn’t prove ZOMG RUSSIA because Trump obstructed the investigation. Hope spring eternal as does cognitive dissonance.
House plans to pass an election reform bill. Which includes automatic voter registration, “increased election security by pushing back on foreign threats” (what the hell does this even mean?), making Election Day a National Holiday for Federal Workers, and my personal favorite: “tackle campaign finance reform by ending Citizens United”. Unless this bill is actually a constitutional amendment, I have no idea how you plan on doing that last one. Somehow I doubt voter ID to go along with the automatic registration or stopping voter harvesting is involved is this prog wishlist that’ll go nowhere in the Senate.
It was the latest of nights. It was the earliest of nights. There was alcohol, Glibertarians, and former Hit & Runners involved. So this edition of links will not be exactly… sparkling.
ZARDOZ SPEAKS TO YOU, HIS CHOSEN ONES. WHILE THE BRUTALS WHO PLAGUE THE EARTH HAVE BEEN A CONSTANT BOTHER TO ZARDOZ, YOU, THE CHOSEN ONES HAVE NOT. YOU HAVE SNARKED WELL AT THEM. FOR THIS, ZARDOZ GIVES YOU THE GIFT OF THE LINK. GO FORTH AND COMMENT!
ZARDOZ SUPPOSES THE BRUTALS OF UKRAINE COULD DO WORSE THAN THIS.
AND THE BRUTALS WONDER WHY ZARDOZ WANTS THEM CLEANSED…
BRUTAL BOONDOGGLE DOES NOTHING BUT WASTE MONEY…COLOR ZARDOZ SHOCKED!
I will confess to a guilty pleasure: since moving west, SP and I have been on an old Western kick. And our current binge is old Hopalong Cassidy TV shows, mostly condensed versions of the 66 Hopalong Cassidy movies. In its day, these shows were insanely popular, the first major TV westerns, with every red-blooded American kid watching the show weekly, wanting Hoppy merchandise, and cajoling parents into buying stuff from the show’s sponsors. There’s a lot of interesting backstory as well, which I may expand into a full post. Teaser: entrepreneurship, heavy drinking, redemption, and brilliant marketing. At the end of every show, Hoppy’s portrayer, William Boyd, would deliver a message to the kids, usually along the lines of, “Hello, Little Pardners! Make sure you do your homework every day!” or “Your parents love you and care about you. Make sure you listen to everything they say and do your chores with a smile!” But of all of the end-of-show messages, this one is for sure our favorite:
Birthdays today are particularly auspicious and numerous, but I must single out libertarian theorist Murray Rothbard, brilliant author and social critic Tom Wolfe, and the immortal Lou Reed, who will always be with us.
There’s no shortage of non-entities crowding the Team Blue field for 2020. Too bad that this threatens to overshadow the absolute comedy of Warren and Sanders. That said, if Team Blue somehow gets sensible and nominates the staunch anti-interventionist Gabbard, and Team L fails to nominate the amazingly delightful McAfee, I may vote Blue for the first time.
Old Guy Music time. And for whatever reason, I’ve been on a Sonny Terry/Brownie McGhee kick lately. And here’s a classic, introduced by the amazingly white and overly garrulous Pete Seeger.
Hey guys, I’m not actually dead. It turns out that snow is not, in fact, fatal to Florida Man. I did need some help thawing out and getting up to normal function. Special thanks to the others who picked up for my deadbeat-can’t-even-text-to-say-I’m-not-doing-the-links ass. It’s been a heckuva a Friday on the site, and I was tempted to just skip links, but certain other contributors wield guilt like a scalpel. I was suitably shamed.
Only Florida Man would find himself in a fistfight over Tupac. For one thing, no where else has morons who thought Biggie was better.
Without “police level training” how will armed Ohio teachers learn to mag dump on the family chihuahua?
It’s almost as if regret in buying a home is tied to the debt-to-equity ratio of the age cohort. Nah, too simplistic. Let’s go with “most Millenials regret buying a house”.
Thankfully, I did not have to experience the fun of this video. Driving in (very) light snow was no more dangerous than driving in the rain in Central Florida.
STEVE SMITH SLOW GOING MORNING. HIM FIND WHISKY BARREL WHEN IT FALL OFF TRUCK THAT GET STUCK IN SNOW. STEVE SMITH TRY HELP DRIVER, BUT DRIVER RUN, SCREAMING. SO STEVE SMITH TAKE BARREL TO CAVE. IT DELICIOUS, BUT NOW HIM NEED COFFEE. LUCKY STEVE SMITH FIND SOME IN CAMPER HE VISIT NIGHT BEFORE. BY VISIT, MEAN RAPE. CAMPER. AND CAMPERS IN CAMPER.
BUT YOU NO HERE HEAR STEVE SMITH GRUMBLE. YOU COME FOR LINKS! STEVE SMITH GIVE LINKS. HAVE FUN COMMENT. ON LINKS.
STEVE SMITH GREATEST TRICK, MAKE WORLD THINK HE NO THERE.
STEVE SMITH SAY “NO THANK“. HIM STAY WITH BEAVER, MOOSE, BIRD, DOUBLE WHOPPERS. OR WHAT FIND IN CAMPER FRIDGES.
AND NOW, SPECIAL FEATURE! STEVE SMITH GIVE ADVICE! HIM READ “ASK AMY” AND SAY ‘HER SILLY’. STEVE SMITH DO BETTER (EVEN IF IT OLD RERUN!):
Q: I have a good friend who is very nice, very thoughtful and very dependable. Whenever anyone needs to reach her, my friend is just one text message away. But that is just what seems to be the problem — she is always reachable, and her phone is always there, ringing with text messages.
I recently spent time with her, and we hardly talked for the few hours we were together, because of her constant receiving and sending messages. She was texting at least three times every five minutes. I appreciate that whenever anyone needs to text her, she never fails to answer promptly, but it is extremely annoying to witness.
I feel as though when I hang out with her that I am really hanging out with her phone. What is the best way to approach her about this?
A: THIS EASY! TAKE PHONE, SMASH WITH BIG ROCK.
SMASH IPHONE!
THEN TELL FRIEND LISTEN AND TALK OR GET SMASH WITH BIG ROCK NEXT. SINCE SMASH PHONE, HER NO CALL 911! MIGHT BE LAST CONVERSATION WITH FRIEND. BUT HER ANNOYING ANYWAY.
