Sorry for the delay in getting a post up for you, Glibs! I have no excuse. I just forgot. January has been a month of constant jackassery. I don’t have any water in the kitchen — and haven’t since the weekend — because of the sub zero temperatures.
This has been such a stressful month so far that when I sat down to write this Products You Need post all I could think about is alcohol.
So, tonight I present to you: Cocktails You Need.
1. Rob Roy
So far as I can tell, this seems to basically be a Scotch version of a Manhattan. Admittedly, I first heard of this in Venture Brothers.
2. Cucumber Gin Ricky
This recipe is simple and makes me daydream about warmer weather coming and thawing out my pipes (not a euphemism). Cucumber, gin, lime, sodawater, and simple syrup.
3. Mango Habanero Margarita
I cannot wait to try this. Tequila, triple sec, mango, habanero, grapefruit soda, lime, and lemon.
4. Red Velvet Cake Martini
Perfect for those who want their cake and to drink it, too. Dessert with booze. What’s not to love?
5. Gold Rush
And, because, whisky, I have one more for you. Whisky, honey syrup, and some other stuff.
Comments
190 responses to “Cocktails You Need”
First!
Second!
The Rob Roy is solid.
Really good Scotch without the rest is better.
My Grandfather was a Manhattan guy. As a matter of fact, there is a coffin in Ft. Snelling National Cemetery with the remains of a great guy and a small flask of Manhattan.
Just as it should be.
Sounds like he has good taste.
I miss him.
Indeed he did have good taste. A good Manhattan is a thing of great beauty. Angostura is classic, but I really like the Fee Brothers Bitters that I grabbed at BevMo last year.
Angostura for bourbon, Peychaud’s for Rye.
Angostura for bourbon, Peychaud’s for Rye
I tried your exact recommendation over the holidays because my sister and her husband only had Peychaud’s, and I had brought a bottle of Bulleit Rye.
It was good, but I think I still prefer the Angostura bitters with Rye as well. Maybe it’s just the taste I’m more familiar with.
But I do love a good rye Manhattan. What’s great about them is they are so delicious, but at the same time you can’t drink them too quickly because of the bitters, so you sip appropriately, are very pleased with how you feel, and are less likely to become blotto.
I’ve recently taken to the Manhattan myself. Local watering hole makes on that is simply wonderful, sipping it feels like smoking a really good cigarette (for us ex-tobacco users!).
Leaving aside your love of your grandfather, the most important part is Webdom’s Venture Brothers reference. Go Team Venture!
Once again, Chafed FTW!
Good to see you Sir Digby. It’s been a little while.
It’s good to be seen. I trust you’re well.
Oh, and I’m just chopped liver! MAGA Supreme said you were like a best friend!
Well, he’s/it’s not wrong.
Of course, liver is…
Aim for the stars, CPRM. You deserve so much better!
Hey! What the hell happened to my {shivers in disgust and rage} part?!?
If you want to touch a part, I think HM is your man. Or did I offer you a little something special *wink wink*?
Yeah, HM is always my main man. And, yes you did make a kind offer.
It’s just that liver…. Sorry, had to suppress that SPRBI.
/semi puke-related belch incident
If I made an offer spit it out! On my chest! Sorry, too many HM links today.
Seriously, if I offered something, I want to make good. You know, I don’t properly code and collate all these late night talks. I’m shit at the business part of business.
Oh, I was referring to YT access–I’ve checked some of the older videos.
Oh, so I did done do it then. Can’t help if that sucks as a perk. Thanks for all your support Mr. Confabulous. I sleep now.
Oh, crap-you probably won’t see this, but, I didn’t mean to insinuate that, if that’s what you got out of any of my posts.
Brock is my spirit animal.
I learned about gin Ricky from american horror story. The Axe Man drank em.
They never caught that dude.
The “Rob Roy” always reminds me of Kurt Vonnegut from his book “Hocus Pocus”. Mediocre book, good cocktail
Which one was Hocus Pocus, was that the one with the professor and the perpetual motion machine bit?
Yes. You a big Vonnegut fan? It’s one of his lesser read novels
Not so much a fan, I burned through all his novel in high school, loved them back then, but a few years ago I re-read Breakfast of Champions and it did not withstand the test of time, at least for me. I’d give him another go but my to read pile is three foot high as it is.
Agreed. I liked him in high school, but even then I thought his only really good book was the one he was most famous for: Slaughter House Five.
Hocus Pocus had a shit ending that always upset me
“Cat’s Cradle” was assigned for school. Made me decide not to read any of his other work.
You should have started with Slaughter House Five. That is among one of the better books of the 20th Century
I reiterate my claim that the purpose of high school english is to make students hate reading.
As I said it’s been a while but I seem to remember thinking ‘Mother Night’ was pretty good and “Dead-eye Dick”, again that was high school me, they may both hold up as poorly as Breakfast of Champions.
Hi Just Say’n. In the evening links you were mistaken. I wasn’t describing Bismarck as a “classical liberal” but Virchow as it was he, not Bismarck, was the man who actually coined the term “kulturkampf”.
Funnily enough Virchow was a member of the Progress Party which I believe makes them the first Progressives.
Cheers, to the Hun
Even better the Progress Party and their successors were called “Left-Liberals” since the “Right-Liberals” supported Bismarck.
Ralph Raico had nice things to say about their leader Eugen Richter
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Eugen_Richter
And this:
Which of these drinks will protect me from the flu?
Went on a family trip this weekend everyone but me and the baby returned with the flu. The baby succumed today. I am the last one standing and picking up tamiflu tomorrow because Costco pharmacy has useless business hours
The most expensive scotch your local carries.
Trust me.
Tequila really is supposed to boost the immune system.
Go for it.
Why not both?
Both makes sense
Always a solid choice.
Start the tamiflu before symptoms.
I’m sure you already knew that, but… just in case.
Yep I am symptom free right now. I took one of my wife’s tamiflu pills tonight and will replace it when I pick up my script
Just skip the cocktails and go straight for the whiskey. Basil Hayden’s first discovered thanks to SugarFree) has kept me fairly healthy. https://www.basilhaydens.com
I’d rather have any of these than the horrid Pinot Grigio I just drank. Awful.
I drank the whole bottle just to get it out of the house.
The cucumber gin Ricky sounds nice.
I have a rule where if a bottle is undrinkable and will not be consumed, I dump it down the drain.
Yeah, my mention of drinking the whole bottle was poking fun at myself.
I did have to toss a liter of undrinkable shit that a friend of ours (a missionary who didn’t drink) brought us from a duty free shop in Africa on his return trip.
Pretty sure that wasn’t alcohol.
Beef stew or coq au vin are good uses for bad wine.
I keep a 5 liter box of Franzia on the counter for cooking wine. It’s actually drinkable and it keeps wonderfully in those fancy airtight bags so you can get 2 TBPS or half a cup just as easily without compromising the lot.
Love love love boxed wine for cooking.
I always cook with box wine. Now and then I even use some in a recipe.
Next time you have an unoaked white you don’t really care for, consider making wine simple syrup of it. You might wind up with something really interesting.
That sounds delicious.
I drank the whole bottle just to get it out of the house.
I oft-times will consume an entire bottle just to protect my spousal unit from its inferior horrors.
Naturally, she is ungrateful.
There’s a cocktail I got addicted to one night that has a beaten egg (maybe just whites) and I think gin, and some other stuff. It has a Spanish name. Dammit I can’t find it now. I tried to make one at home one night and let’s just say it wasn’t a great success.
Sounds like a gin fizz.
Yeah, I found it. “Ramos gin fizz”. I could drink those all day.
On the holidays, I used to make a pitcher of Ramos Fizzs’. Way too easy to drink.
You should try a Pisco Sour. That may be to your liking.
*googles* Yeah, that sounds up my alley.
Yup. +1 on the Pisco Sour. Those are awesome. Little hard to find pisco, but If you have a BevMo nearby they will have it for sure.
lolno – NY liquor laws require the store owner to live within a small radius of the shop. Pretty much guarantees tiny shops every few blocks with the same bland selection. There are a couple specialty shops I’m aware of but not in my neighborhood. I think more research is needed….
Hmm, weird. One of the few things that are good in California in regards to liberty are the booze laws. Granted, it’s not Spain or the Netherlands but still pretty decent compared to the rest of the country. Now the Alcohol Control Board, that is a different matter.
I think I found one in Park Slope (where else?). Easy peasy to get to.
grapefruit soda
Alas, poor Citra! I knew him, Horatio; a drink of infinite bubbles, of most excellent flavor.
I guess I’ll have to continue drinking my bourbon with a splash of water. Larceny tonight.
Rusty nail.
Three wise men.
Oil slick.
Prairie fire.
Cement Mixer
Rusty Nail is the worst drink I have ever had.
I’ve had a “rusty nail” and it had nothing to do with alcohol.
Was it anything like a Rusty Venture?
#4
https://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Rusty%20Nail&=true&defid=4219271
Lol
4 Tundra.
http://archive.li/sN8y2
30
Well, that’s just awesome!
Seriously, girls, just smile! No duck face, no phony smoldering looks.
Smile.
Too many to choose from. They all win!
Thanks, Q!
You’re not wrong.
I like the soccer chick in the early part of the reel. Didn’t seem to be ducklip or posing
2. No reason to go any farther.
I have to say, it’s not that I don’t like gin, but I wouldn’t chose it if there were other opti…
Oh, you meant Q’s ladies. Never mind!
I am just not a fan of gin. It’s never made sense to me. My sisters have a sad over that.
If you have extra grapefruit soda left after making that drink then try a La Paloma.
Tequila
Grapefruit soda
Half lime squeeze
Salt to taste.
Over ice in a highball or cocktail glass.
I love a proper Manhattan. I’ll have to give the Rob Roy a go. Can I go OT now?
Seeking advice from any lawyers or laymen familiar with inventions and patent law. While spending what seems like the last 3 years fixing my wife’s car, I think I have invented a new tool. A very specialized tool, to be sure, but also a very helpful tool when it is needed. I looked very briefly into patenting it before approaching any tool makers, but that seems kind of expensive for something that I don’t know if anyone will be interested in…or it may even exist and I just haven’t found it yet.
There are a few tool makers who have programs for inventors to do the heavy lifting for them and give them a royalty. Lisle Corp being probably the most well known automotive specialty tool company. However, not only do they not sign an NDA, they have you sign, basically, what amounts to an anti-NDA. However, they are a respected company (as far as I know), and seem very legit with their idea program.
They claim the reason for the anti-NDA is because if they advance your idea to the next stage in the process, it involves trial runs with real mechanics in their day-to-day jobs. Poor excuse, IMB, but there it is.
Do I roll the dice and go with Lisle? Seek out another company that will sign an NDA? Seek a patent first?
One last question; when do you become “Patent Pending”? As soon as you submit your idea and submission fee to the Patent Office, or at some point (and $) after that?
You want trash monster
Or Leap.
If neither see it tonight, I’ll copy pasta this into the AM links tomorrow and hopefully get their attention.
For a layman’s point of view, I am an engineer with 38 patents.
A patent costs 10K to file. The resulting patent means nothing if you don’t have the resources to sue someone for violating your patent — think a cool million for a big lawsuit.
I understand why the mega-corp I work for files patents and manages a large portfolio. I do not understand how the garage inventor makes it work.
A really good point. I’ve been the little guy more than once.
Does it make sense, though, to protect the invention for a sale to a larger company?
The cellphone wars involved massive lawsuits with massive judgements based on a small number of small patents. Of course those companies had portfolios of thousands of patents. So how do you know which patent is the billion-dollar lottery ticket.
Of course, patent trolls create IP with no intention other than harassing productive companies with ongoing lawsuits.
For the little guy, a patent might be intellectual property that can be sold to someone with the resources to exploit it.
For the little guy, a patent might be intellectual property that can be sold to someone with the resources to exploit it.
Yes, that’s my thought.
First off; 38 patents? Very cool!
Second, that’s kind of what I was thinking. They do have different fee structures depending on if you are a corp or single person, but it still looked not-cheap, if not down right expensive. The application process looked like it might be not so bad, but then you have to keep paying to maintain it. Every 3.5 years if I remember right. And the fee goes up every time.
So it’s like cable TV.
Wait for some accurate guidance from one of the IP attorneys that hang out here.
It sounds like your situation is to get a patent to enable licensing the intellectual property to someone who will produce products. The business case for filing the patent will depend on how much you think you can get back in license fees and will it be enough to defend the patent in court if someone produces a similar product without a license.
I think up ideas, someone else worries about defending them.
This is the great unknown right now…something I need to try and figure out how to make an accurate guess at.
Thanks for the advice, kinnath. Much appreciated.
Mike, those agreements generally have major gotchas. Here’s my advice (IANAL, but like kinnath, I have a passel of patents, have been involved in litigation from both ends, and was the prototypical garage inventor):
1. Write up and file a provisional application. This is easy to do with kits from Nolo. That gives you a year before you have to file a REAL application ($$$), but protects you while you shop the idea around. Do NOT disclose the invention to anyone, even under NDA, until you’ve taken this basic step.
2. Do the best search for prior art that you can- the USPTO site is useful, or you could pay a patent agent a few hundred bucks to do a more comprehensive one.
3. If there IS interest and potentially money involved, spend the $10k or so to get an actual lawyer to write the app.
4. Paradoxically, your dream scenario is a huge corporation ripping you off and your patent issuing. Litigators LOVE contingency cases when the defendant has deep pockets.
5. Make sure YOU’RE not a defendant- lawyers for defendants want payment upfront which is totally lost money. Remember Step 2, and don’t skimp on that.
great advice.
Um, yeah, what he said first.
Thanks a bunch, OMWC. That sounds like great advice and I will follow it to the letter. I almost sent the form in to Lisle tonight, but then I stopped, took a breath, and came here first. I’ll start #’s 1 and 2 tomorrow.
I just don’t see there being enough in this to pay a lawyer $10k. Maybe I’m wrong, (I hope I am…I don’t know what kind of money is in specialty auto tools) but even if the potential licensing fees end up being only a few thousand, I still don’t want to just give it away to someone else. More for pride than money, really. If it’s going to leave my control, I want it to be because I gave it to the internet, not because it was “stolen” from me.
Getting that provisional in will run you under $500 for the filing fees and patent search. You’ll figure out quickly in that year if you have something.
And to be clear, Lisle is acting like every other big company will act- they are very leery of over-the-transom ideas because of potential legal liability down the road. Most have agreements that break down to mean, “Anything you show us or send us becomes ours to use as we see fit.” There’s nothing especially evil about them in this, they’re acting rationally given the legal landscape they’re navigating.
Public disclosure will prevent someone else from getting a valid patent (note the qualifier, USPTO is happy to issue invalid patents) and will put it in the public domain if you choose not to pursue a regular patent filing.
Man, that all seems… hugely dissuasive for innovators. Are we sure this system is all that great for innovation?
From my very brief foray into it, it seems like the Patent Office’s primary mission is to raise money for the government coffers.
Here is the many pages long fee schedule
Jesus.
“and was the prototypical garage inventor”
My silence can be bought.
Provisional patent. It expires in, I think two years, but it covers any permutations (even not listed) of your idea. It’s cheap and doesn’t require all the detail a full patent does. I believe you can extend it a few times as well.
Apparently, one year. Man I was like Horshack in the back of the room with my hand up, going : Oh, Oh, Oh, I know this one!” Oh well, OMWC did it way better…
But I still appreciate the effort!
Mamie Taylor
I was expecting something Q worthy. *sigh*
Sorry.
Mammary Taylor?
I love a Painkiller:
NGREDIENTS
2 ounces dark rum
1 ounce orange juice
¾ ounce pineapple juice
¾ ounce Coco López cream of coconut
A pinch of salt
Ice
¼ teaspoon nutmeg
DIRECTIONS
In a shaker, combine all the liquids and the salt. Fill with ice and shake vigorously. Strain the drink into an ice-filled cup; top with the nutmeg and serve.
—-my edit: add a shit-ton more freshly grated nutmeg. I have a nutmeg grinder for this purpose—a lovely little device.
*taps out*
It may not agree with you no matter the brand, but if you are on the fence at all, give Sailor Jerry’s a try. I’m not a spiced rum fan, but Jerry is decent.
I drank my lifetime’s limit of rum in my 20s. I can’t even tolerate the smell now.
I’m literally crying right now. This is the saddest thing I have read on the Internet.
Gilmored it. Unless this is an incredibly cryptic booze reference.
You’ve never seen those commercials with the caged animals? More importantly, you think I would just have a Sarah McLachlan song playing open in another tab for another reason?
Even more importantly, what DO you have open in your other tabs?
*prepares for the worst*
Her first album was good. Fight me.
Currently, just this.
HM confirmed for a brigand, a dog, a man of low repute, a bounder, a scoundrel, a right villain, a puh puh puh PORNOGRAPHER
About the tab. You’d think I’d have learned by now not to click an HM link unprotected.
Mistakes were made…
Great, now my PH recs are going to be all weird.
I’m generally OK if the flavor is buried in some fruity Tiki drink or something but otherwise… barf city.
Ron Zacapa is best
I have a hangover just from reading the words.
Myers won’t let you down/
I’m not certain I want one of those cake drinks but the vid was entertaining as hell.
I had a bottle of terrible white, a shot of Tito’s from the freezer (yum), about a shots worth of bourbon, and now am drinking a rum and coke, with my cat on my lap and WWII documentaries streaming on Netflix.
Hubby is at Imperial Beach sleeping off his all day drinking trip.
Everything is right in the world.
Sipping some Hennessy and watching tennis. Could be worse.
Drinking nothing and getting Spawn2’s skis ready to race tomorrow.
/lame
Spud’s favorite Manhattan:
2.5oz Rye whiskey(Knob Creek SB is my favorite)
3/4oz sweet vermouth(Antica ftw)
2 dashes Peychaud’s bitters
1 slice orange peel
Chill you glass
Mix the first three ingredients over ice gently. Over mixing will give you a cloudy cocktail.
Strain into chilled glass. Squeeze orange peel over glass, rub the rim with the peel, drop it into the glass. Drink with pleasure.
Sort of related to the Mango Habanero Margarita
https://toriavey.com/toris-kitchen/ensalada-de-frutas-con-chile/#wprm-recipe-container-44946
1/2 cup dried chile de árbol?
That could hurt a little bit.
You could always use less.
But then you’d mock me!
Booze is still a small part of my business, so I spend some time dreaming up new cocktails for bars to use. The backstory on my latest (a simple riff on the French 75):
A large hotel chain recently opened an old, grande-dame property in my hometown, within walking distance of where the Toronto Blue Jays play their spring training games.
The Blue Jays’ All-Star centerfielder is named Kevin Pillar.
Pilar is a small-batch rum in Florida (sourced from one of the big bourbon guys in Bardstown, KY, but whatever).
After a chat on the rooftop bar with the hotel’s food & beverage manager, where I told him that he was about to be swamped by Ontarians who want to get lit after a game at his bars, I proposed
The Centrefield
1 1/2 oz Pilar dark rum
1/4 oz turbinado simple syrup
1/2 oz fresh lemon juice
Shake above ingredients with ice vigorously for 20 seconds. Strain into a coupe (a white wine glass or flute will do in a pinch)
Top with cava or brut Prosecco
Outstanding as a sundowner, works well as a brunch cocktail as well.
The French 75 is a surprisingly good cocktail. A bartender recommended it to my wife, I mocked the choice, then ended up drinking – let’s say several.
Yours looks even better.
I prefer the French 69.
But of course you do.
Excellent choice.
No eye bleach required. Go figure.
You can really use any decent aged rum. Diplomatico, El Dorado 8 year, Barbancourt, Doorly’s XO… I just used Pilar’s due to the a) Florida “branding” — and link to beloved non-Floridian writer Ernest Hemingway, and b) the play on Kevin Pillar’s name.
It’s not like I’m getting royalties on the drink from the hotel. I’d be happy if they just put it on the menu and listed “town native Shpip came up with this for us.”
I like beer.
I like beer ‘cuz it is good.
I drink beer because I should
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O-jOEAufDQ4
I think I found my campaign song.
What I had to do at work was cancelled today due to weather. Would have been nice of them to tell me that before I drove in.
Don’t you work indoors?
Nope i do not really need any of those cocktails. Scotch and wine are fine amd rhyme.
Good morning glibs
And me without garlic *turns to camera and shrugs* *womp womp*
Twitter thread
What?
someone taged grief?
The 5 Smob. Sounds lovecraftian.
the 5 Smob was no S Club 7!
Why do you love this group? I’m not trying to pull your chain. I’ve listened to some of the stuff you posted. It’s so… mediocre.
When you troll for 20 years, eventually begin to actually like the things you pretended to like. They had a horrible TV show, played all the tropes of pop music terribly (like making the black guy rap even though he couldn’t) So after so long of paying attention to them for the camp factor, it grew on me. Rachel didn’t hurt either.
I never heard of them before your links. When did they have a show and where was it aired?
Fox Family Channel circa 2000.
That explains it. Thanks.
Chafed, being brave and asking the questions others of us were afraid to ask.
Now, I’m informed….and, lesser for it.
I was and am a metal guy, so this was my joke to insert into talk about pop music. That and my claim to being the sixth member of 5ive.
Yeah, I often told newly-met people that I was a professional surfer. In Dallas.
I never said I was funny. 🙁
5ive. Wow, that takes me down memory lane. Pretty sure I haven’t heard that in close to 20 years.
My own intro to S Club was lots and lots of MTV Europe circa 2000 with a bunch of immature near 20 year old men (mostly) without women and real alcohol.
No surprise at all that Gustave would be the one to remember 5ive. I think we might be twins separated at birth.
I get all of those late 90s boy bands mixed up.
Since I can’t find the original MV of Toca’s Miracle, I’ll just put this
https://youtu.be/4X7EolQiU0A
I’d rather have my brain turned inside-out by a tentacled shoggoth than that crap.
*Sends PM on Twitter to Trump* You will be deported tomorrow, you Mexican traitor!
I was trying to be nice. Sheesh.
We don’t stand on ceremony around here.
Ry, I thought you *of all people* would celebrate and applaud my interest in a group that includes a homo-sexual. Are you some kind of gay traitor?!
OK, the hyphen really sells it.
That was glorious hilarity, all thanks to punctuation.
Punctuation Maketh The Joke.
You don’t know the half of it.
Something about this makes me think it’s ripe for a knock-off video of the MP Holy Grail “witch scene”.
“Burn ‘im!! Burn ‘im!”
“He turned me into a bear!”
The knight raises his face-plate to better look at the accuser
“…I got better…”
weird, my sentences have gotten jumbled in the copy paste somehow.
https://twitter.com/JeremyMcLellan/status/1087437742622081027
We have now reached the “Bargaining” phase of the “5 Stages of Grief That You Shared An Internet Hoax,” which is when you pivot to smaller allegations in an attempt to justify the original mob. The smartest ones drop truth altogether and pivot to “the larger context.”
It almost seems cruel to take on Alyssa Milano in a twitterbattle.
I think that’s against the Geneva Convention.
Is this heading to “… don’t lock eyes with them…”?
Solid thread.
The BlueCheckmarks act like we don’t know their views on pro-lifers and Trump supporters. We do, and their warped worldview in which those fit in as Paragons of Evil justifies none of their behavior.
This whole MAGA Kids story makes Bowling For Soup Reality. God Help us all.
Britney Spears, is she still around?
Her debut album was released 20 years and 10 days ago (although the first single & video was released in the fall of 98). Yikes. FMH.
Serena Williams crashes out of the Australian Open. Oh frabjous day!
And if Petra Kvitova wins her semifinal tonight, then whoever she plays in the final, the match is going to be for the #1 ranking. And she has a better comeback story.