Friday Afternoon Links

I think my kids pulled my rearview mirror off when climbing around in the car yesterday. And of course, just like in sex, I can’t get the button to pop out. Err, I mean, the little metal mounting button won’t come unattached from the mirror. Reviewing the Intarwebz shows me that Ford expects me to spend $18 on a tool they change every 5 years to solve this problem. Orrr…. I can just hold the whole fucking mirror on the window for the entire 15 minute cure time of this crap I bought so the adhesive isn’t bearing the weight. Hmm, I think I can do that while drinking a beer. Just to be sure, I’ll bring two. Jesus, Ford, when did you become a European car company?

I didn’t even know this goober was running. Apparently, nobody else did either. Except SF.

Florida Man turned into Captain Hook by gator. No word on whether it follows him around or has swallowed a clock.

I’m sure we’ll talk about this horrible gun crisis right?

This is the saddest article I’ve read in a long while. And while I’m fine, I guess, with people finding a surgeon to mutilate them at their request, I just can’t help but wonder how one comes to occupy a place where removing a part of your body that gives you greater autonomy and a broader set of abilities is seen as desirable.

 

SugarFree’s Dem Deathwatch

Comments

378 responses to “Friday Afternoon Links”

  1. DrOtto

    Just be sure to use rear view mirror adhesive and not super glue. Super glue is only good for sticking fingers together.

    1. DrOtto

      Also first!

      1. Donation Not Taxation

        Congratulations

    2. Count Potato

      They make glue just for those metal “shoes” that stick to windshields.

    3. Private Chipperbot

      I was talking to my wife about this yesterday when we saw a gorilla glue commercial. I have never been able to get any type of crazy glue to ever work; except on my fingers. I still call bullshit on the commercial with the guy hanging from his hard hat.

      1. Fatty Bolger

        I bought gorilla glue once and it was complete shit. It just foams up, and that creates a terrible seal, easily broken.

        1. Scruffy Nerfherder

          I’m sure OMWC has a lot to say on this but glues are very application specific.

          Something that makes a very robust bond in one case, may be complete shit for another.

          1. BEAM ain’t co-operatin’ with the MAN

            They also don’t have indefinite shelf lives, especially once opened. Drives the spousal unit nuts when I buy new adhesives when she sees a “perfectly good” bottle or tube of the same in our basket of adhesives/caulking. I always end up pointing out to her that the last time we used adhesive “X,” Trudeau Jr. was still a backbencher.

          2. JB Weld or nothing. (“illegal” to use in certain military “applications” – but it gets the job done when you need to get the job done – esp on a tight schedule).

          3. Jarflax

            Weld? Way too squishy.

          4. Trolleric the Goth

            Project Farm is a great channel, the rigs he comes up with for testing are usually simple, effective and repeatable.

      2. B.P.

        When I was at summer camp during my youth, a couple of assholes in my cabin super glued another cabin mate to his sheet while he slept. It worked really well.

        1. creech

          Any revenge? I worked at a place where the Marketing manager got pranked and retaliated by putting a dead fish in the golf bag of one of the pranksters.
          Guy flew home, put the clubs in the garage and a week or so later noticed a strange odor.

  2. Count Potato

    “I didn’t even know this goober was running. Apparently, nobody else did either. Except SF.”

    I didn’t know either.

    1. Maybe after Moulting he’d lost the last of his juvenile plumage and was ready for something different.

  3. Sean

    She said two of the four victims were female, and that none of the injuries were believed to be life-threatening.

    A lil girl on girl, eh?

    1. Count Potato

      “Skid Row, an area occupying roughly 50 square blocks in downtown Los Angeles, has one of the highest concentrations of homeless people in the United States.”

      Maybe they should change the name?

      1. Private Chipperbot

        Sounds like wasted time.

        1. Count Potato

          Holy fuck, hair metal was awful.

          1. Rhywun

            Made me listen.

            Jesus, that’s bad.

  4. Crusty Juggler

    The only thing better about having kids is not having kids.

    1. Jarflax

      The only thing better about having grammar is not having grammar.

      1. Crusty Juggler

        lol fag

        1. Jarflax

          Is Eddie Izzard a lol fag?

          1. Crusty Juggler

            No, he is funny.

          2. Rhywun

            I think it depends on the day of the week.

  5. Dr. Fronkensteen

    I’m just waiting for the parent who says their 8yr old son identifies as a pirate and needs to have his leg amputated.

    1. Sean

      At least he’ll get a parrot out of the deal.

    2. Scruffy Nerfherder

      Screenname checks out.

    3. Rhywun

      It’s inevitable. Maybe not the pirate part.

      1. Scruffy Nerfherder

        Look how special my child is!

        1. I actually lectured at a medical conference 20 years ago that this was likely on the horizon and we should be prepared for it. There were docs in the audience that thought I was out of my mind. I guess it would be nice to say ‘told you so’ but this is just so effed up there’s no joy in seeing it happen.

  6. Crusty Juggler

    Dropkick Murphys visit Quincy boy, 3, battling cancer

    The Dropkick Murphys performed a private concert in Quincy on Wednesday for a 3-year-old boy who is isolated at home with brain cancer, according to the band.

    The Quincy band performed several songs for a giddy Quinn Waters, the son of Quincy Police Officer Tara Waters. He was diagnosed with a brain tumor in February and is isolated at his home after months of treatment, according to his Facebook page The Mighty Quinn. He can only see visitors through his window.

    Quinn shared jokes with the band, including, “Guess what? Chicken butt.”

  7. Tundra

    Hunters allowed to slaughter two alligator’s each – alligators have no limit on how many people they can bite.

    Well played, Henry.

    1. Not Adahn

      alligator’s what?

      1. I’ve trained you all well. 🙂

    2. Hunters allowed to slaughter two alligator’s each

      [curls up in corner and begins sobbing]

      1. Jarflax

        An each is a small symbiote found in gavials and alligators. It is a little known fact that alligators rank themselves, with the second ranking alligator in the tribe being referred to as two alligator. You can uncurl and wipe away the tears.

  8. LOS ANGELES, Aug 22 (Reuters) – An armed woman opened fire in the Skid Row section of downtown Los Angeles on Thursday, wounding four people and triggering a hunt for the suspect, police said.

    Will she get 18 to life?

    1. Sean

      Talk about youth gone wild.

      1. Tundra

        They brought out the big guns.

    2. Crusty Juggler

      At least someone is doing something about the homeless problem.

    3. Sounds like wasted time if you ask me.

  9. Count Potato

    “Fish and Wildlife Commission officials have said the alligator will not be trapped despite the bite.”

    Well, it’s not like a dog. None of them are tame.

  10. Crusty Juggler

    A man punched her and tried to steal her cellphone — then quickly realized he was messing with a Golden Gloves boxer.

    Chicago boxer Claire Quinn was on the way to the gym last weekend, planning on sparring in the ring, when she ended up in a street fight in Bucktown.

    A teenager asked Quinn for directions to the Nike store as she walked in the 1600 block of North Damen Avenue about 10:30 a.m. Sunday. Moments later, an older man came up from behind and sucker punched her in the head, demanding her cellphone.

    But the blow didn’t stop Quinn, a Golden Gloves champion with a 6-0 record this year.

    “I was like, ‘Aw, heck no,’ ” she said by phone Thursday from Florida, where she went to stay with her parents while recuperating from a concussion from the attack. “He punched me the one time really hard, and then after that I just kept throwing my right hand into his groin.”

    Her right is her dominant arm — the one responsible for four knockouts this year. It didn’t fail her. The two exchanged five or six punches apiece while the man tried to grab the phone she kept clutched in her left hand. He finally gave up and ran off empty-handed.

    “Eventually I connected enough that he stumbled away from me,” Quinn said from a salon where she was having her nails — fingers and toes — painted a bright yellow shade called “Never a Dulles Moment,” which she said, “seemed to be the perfect shade under the circumstances.”

    You never know who has training these days.

    1. Scruffy Nerfherder

      She got lucky. That could have easily gone the other way.

      1. BEAM ain’t co-operatin’ with the MAN

        Yep. Been sucker-punched from behind twice in my life, once when I was fifteen and once when I was 60, both times by teenagers. It’s a coward’s move, but can be quite effective if you get your bell rung hard enough. Makes it almost impossible to fight back — you’re too busy trying to remain conscious and upright.

        1. Jarflax

          Working the door of a bar many moons ago I got zapped from behind. I realized what had happened, was not disoriented at all, and when I jumped to my feet to go after the guy, my knees buckled and I hit the ground. In a street/bar fight first shot usually wins.

    2. Not Adahn

      Quinn said from a salon where she was having her nails — fingers and toes — painted a bright yellow shade called “Never a Dulles Moment,”

      That is some first-rate journalisming.

      And what’s up with all the Quinns in the news today?

    3. Raston Bot

      she fights at 152 so probably a 165lbs walking around weight. that’s a big girl.

    4. Private Chipperbot

      I just kept throwing my right hand into his groin.”

      Hawt.

    5. Rhywun

      realized he was messing with a Golden Gloves boxer

      Something tells me he didn’t realize any such thing until he read about it in the paper.

      Journalisming, indeed.

    6. You run and you live to run another day.

      This from the guy who owns her boxing gym? Huh. I was always raised with the number one maxim being “Don’t get hurt”. If the way you do that is by running, then run. If the way you do that is by kicking dude in the balls and kneeing him in the face until his jaw breaks, then that’s what you do.

      1. Your real name is Jack Reacher, yes?

        1. Jarflax

          Giant book Reacher or tiny movie Reacher?

    7. Enough About Palin

      “A teenager asked Quinn for directions to the Nike store as she walked in the 1600 block of North Damen Avenue about 10:30 a.m. Sunday. Moments later, an older man came up from behind and sucker punched her in the head, demanding her cellphone.”

      I live in the inner-city and one thing one needs to know is that the whole point of asking the targeted victim a question is to momentarily cause the targeted victim to be distracted as they come up with an answer. When a stranger approaches me on the street– especially a young male — I immediately prepare myself to respond with, “I don’t know fucking shit!” It momentarily distracts them back.

      1. Rhywun

        I didn’t even pick up that it was a set-up. Some city boy I am.

  11. Not Adahn

    Skid Row, an area occupying roughly 50 square blocks in downtown Los Angeles,

    At some point, it crosses over from “neighborhood” to “game preserve”

    1. I thought Skid Row was just a generic term (a la Easy Street) to describe a city’s shittiest place. I didn’t realize it was an actual zip code.

      1. Multiple places have skid rows, with the original being in Seattle, I believe. It’s from logging, when logs would be slid downhill on skids, or boards, to the harbor to be loaded for shipment. Loggers moving the logs down the hill would hang around waiting to go back up the hill. It became a place for low-income rough types to hang out, get some cheap booze, maybe stay in a flophouse or just on the street type of thing.

  12. Raston Bot

    How can mutilating a patient be reconciled with “first, do no harm”?

    1. Jarflax

      How can any of this crap be reconciled with traditional ethical theories?

    2. Contrarian P

      “First, do no harm” was written by Hippocrates in one of his works called Of the Epidemics. It is alluded to in the Hippocratic Oath, but many medical schools no longer administer the oath as it is considered to be an anachronism. Several attempts have been made to create a modern version of it but none have really caught on. I recited the Hippocratic Oath during my medical school graduation and remember feeling silly as I swore by Asclepius, Apollo, and all the gods and goddesses.

      Harm is a very difficult thing to define medically. If a woman has a hysterectomy to stop heavy periods, it is not considered harm because of the greater benefit to the patient. Elective mastectomy to prevent possible breast cancer down the line is also considered to be ok. The question is where to draw the line and who decides. I’m sure the “transableist” person would insist that the greater good would come from cutting their legs off.

      This is kind of where the libertarian rubber meets the road. If the person is an adult and unimpaired, we’re all on board with them filling their bodies with chemicals we know to be harmful or engaging in all sorts of other self destructive acts, even in many cases selling their organs for profit. But what if they want to be legless? Shouldn’t they get to make that decision?

      As for me, I do not participate in activities that I deem to be harmful to my patients. If they are doing those activities I counsel them to stop and offer what help I can provide. I have no issue with patients doing things that are bad for them if that is their free choice, but I also do not have to be complicit in their self destructive behavior. I think that’s the attitude of most physicians, however again the tricky line is figuring out the details.

  13. Crusty Juggler

    6 Senior Citizens Arrested For Public Sex in Fairfield

    Six people ranging in age from 62 to 85 face sex charges after being arrested in a conservation area in Connecticut.

    Police say the six, five men and an 85-year-old woman, were involved in lewd and sexual activity in the Grace Richardson conservation area in Fairfield earlier this month.

    Police say the area was being publicized on the internet as an area for people to meet and have sex.

    Police say they set up surveillance in the area and observed several violations.

    I’m sure this has been covered but we all needed that mental image once again.

    1. Scruffy Nerfherder

      Where’s my revolver?

    2. Dr. Fronkensteen

      Just as long as Lou Reed is alive.

  14. Suthenboy

    Strongest bite (in theory) in history: coelurosauria Tyrannosaurus Rex – 12,800 lbs/in2 (questionable)

    Second strongest in history: Alligator mississippiensis – 3000 lbs / in2 (challenged by salt water crocs)

    All of these animals developed incredibly strong bite strength because their primary prey is armored. Next strongest bites are less than half of the alligator because they don’t need the strength, they have hooked teeth and use more of a pulling motion.

    The point is don’t put y our hand where the alligator can get it, dummy. You will be sorry if you do. If he gets his jaws on you you have no chance at all, you are gonna lose and lose big.

    1. It’s probably be pretty easy for some of those old guys with saggy scrota to shoot themselves in the nuts. I wonder if drugs would come out their asses?

      1. Dafuq? This doesn’t belong here!

        1. Rhywun

          Have you heard about senior sex ring in the public park?

          1. Jarflax

            Wasn’t that in Lou Reed’s recent novel 1984?

          2. Jarflax

            Within 3 months Glibs will simply be 500 repetitions of these memes sandwiching a pun thread about beer.

          3. Dr. Fronkensteen

            Now go make me a sammich.

          4. Sean

            Fuck off, Tulpa.

          5. Jarflax

            You guys make me so proud!

          6. Enough About Palin

            I took a shit in Lou Reed’s house once.

            – Sandi

          7. *fierce applause*

    2. Not Adahn

      I honestly don’t understand why these those things are protected from being turned into leather by the owner of the property they waddle onto.

      1. BEAM ain’t co-operatin’ with the MAN

        Yeah. Standard rural Albertans’ chant when dealing with a “protected” pest is “shoot, shovel, shut-up.” Probably one of the reasons why Alberta is so looked down upon by most Central and Eastern Canadians.

      2. Sean

        I’d take up holster making.

      3. Suthenboy

        They were very nearly extinct when I was growing up. Louisiana’s alligator program has been very successful and I am glad. I like having them around. All you have to do is stay out of their territory. You don’t want to go there anyway, it’s a nasty swamp. If. you do stay in the boat, keep. your hands out of the water.
        The meat is…..ok. The hide is top shelf. We have a thriving industry and a healthy population. I have never seen a story about an attack where the person did not do exactly the wrong thing.

        Don’t stick your dick in a light socket and you wont get burned.

        1. Pope Jimbo

          You have gators in your light sockets? Uffda

          *scratches LA off list of places to visit*

    3. Caput Lupinum

      Sarchosuchus Imperator, a giant 40 foot long prehistoric crocodile, had an estimated bite force of 18,000 psi. Don’t fuck with crocodilians.

  15. Scruffy Nerfherder

    Rod Stewart, flamboyant floof that he is, has gotten way more tail than I ever will.

    https://www.instagram.com/p/B1cp5IFHF6k/?utm_source=ig_embed&ig_mid=XSCMMAABAAFwFYMnqx7NDnDi–k1

    1. Count Potato

      At least you didn’t get kicked in the head.

    2. He looks as feminine as they do.

      1. Crusty Juggler

        You could even say he remains…forever young.

        1. To be fair, young hearts beat free tonight.

          1. A Leap at the Wheel

            +1 Huitzilopochtli

          2. Spudalicious

            And he’s taken a ride on an Eastern moon.

  16. The Other Kevin

    Democratic candidate The Other Kevin drops pout of presidential race.

    1. Jarflax

      Don’t pout Kevin!

  17. Count Potato

    “The satisfied amputees include Robert Smith’s patients, or at least did a few years following the surgery.”

    Shouldn’t he be able to find The Cure?

    1. Scruffy Nerfherder

      Boooo

    2. PBRstreetgang

      At least the Boys Don’t Cry

    3. Private Chipperbot
    4. I heard he’s being sued for accidentally killing an arab.

    5. Tres Cool

      ….made from the tears of Robert Smith

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aO6E40Q6_3E

      1. Jarflax

        Was he crying after the battle with Mechastreisand?

  18. Crusty Juggler

    Dr. Jen Gunter Wants to Protect Your Vagina From Gwyneth Paltrow

    We wander toward the soap aisle. At 5 feet 10 inches—even if you don’t count her 2.5-inch blue leather heels—Gunter towers above me, her honey-blond curls spilling out over the collar of a puffy jacket. She eyes a bar made with activated charcoal, a trendy ingredient she deems pointless. “Why get upset about a useless product?” Gunter says. “Because it makes everybody stupider—facts matter.”

    As the global wellness industry tops $4.2 trillion, Gunter, 53, is on a mission to arm women with science-based advice in hopes of stanching the spread of health misinformation. Increasingly, she’s been sounding the alarm about how confusion surrounding women’s bodies fuels larger efforts to control them. In recent months, conservative lawmakers in states like Alabama and Missouri have passed harsh restrictions on abortion based on flawed understandings of the female reproductive system. “I’ve been swatting at pseudoscience for so many years, I have the language to tackle it,” Gunter says. “People are listening now, so I have a duty to step up.”

    1. I have to admit that I was a bit surprised when this turned into an abortion article.

      1. Crusty Juggler

        ikr

      2. Scruffy Nerfherder

        I wasn’t. They can’t help it.

      3. Rhywun

        Yeah. And then I wasn’t.

    2. B.P.

      $4.2 trillion? Isn’t that $600 for every person on Earth?

      1. Gadfly

        Yes it is. I’m assuming they are measure stock value, not revenue.

      2. Contrarian P

        That’s probably accurate given that the “wellness industry” includes damn near everything we do to try to improve our condition, including traditional care, homeopathy, massage therapy, going to the gym to work out, going to the spa, beauty products, dieting, and so forth. Honestly I’m surprised it isn’t more than that.

  19. Certified Public Asshat

    Actual quote from the Bernie climate change plan:

    To get to our goal of 100 percent sustainable energy, we will not rely on any false solutions like nuclear, geoengineering, carbon capture and sequestration, or trash incinerators.

    1. Scruffy Nerfherder

      We must have faith or Gaia will punish us.

    2. Not Adahn

      Kulak incinerators are still a go, right?

      1. Jarflax

        In the 21st century we compost kulaks for Gaia, you wrecker.

        1. pan fried wylie

          Wouldn’t that just make more methane than CO2 per unit Wrecker?

    3. Count Potato

      If you get rid of all the fossil fuels, regular nuclear isn’t sustainable because it will run out of suitable uranium.

    4. one true athena

      So, wind and solar which are not 100% sustainable. mmkay Bernie. I’m sure you’ll be dead by the time everyone else is shivering in the cold and dying of heatstroke in the summer because you pushed this dark ages trash.

      1. Mad Scientist

        Then we can burn the bodies to run the power plants. Sacrifices to Gaia!

    5. Fatty Bolger

      I guess it’s gonna be rainbows and unicorn farts, then. #Science!

    6. Pope Jimbo

      Was there a link to the actual math that shows where all this energy is going to come from?

    7. Suthenboy

      So he is saying the most graft and cronyism to be had is with solar scams. Got it.

  20. Crusty Juggler

    Russia sends ‘Fedor’ its first humanoid robot into space

    Russia on Thursday (Aug 22) launched an unmanned rocket carrying a life-size humanoid robot that will spend 10 days learning to assist astronauts on the International Space Station (ISS).

    Named Fedor, for Final Experimental Demonstration Object Research with identification number Skybot F850, the robot is the first ever sent up by Russia.

    Said Ripley to the android bishop…

    1. Not Adahn

      THAT’S LIKE THE N-WORD FOR ITALIANS11!!11

      /Cuomo

      1. Dr. Fronkensteen

        Fedor Emelianenko may have been a beast in his heyday but a robot?

      2. grrizzly

        That’s actually Russian for Ted.

        1. So will Fedor talk?

        2. Spudalicious

          Apparently, he’s going to help the Russian astronauts with punctuation.

    2. JaimeRoberto: Gentleman, Scholar, French Tickler

      Fedor is weak and stupid. That’s why they are sending him to some out of the way place.

    3. Suthenboy

      I have seen this movie. It doesn’t end well for the humans.

  21. A Leap at the Wheel

    I’m sure we’ll talk about this horrible gun crisis right?

    THE RANGE FEES ARE TOO DAMN HIGH

    1. A Leap at the Wheel

      Also, all those effete European calibers displacing our home-grown, GOD FEARUN American calibers like .45APC and .30-06. If it can’t be shot out of an gun that starts with the letter M or was designed by St John Mosses Browning, we shouldn’t let it in the country. BUILD THE WALL.

      1. Not Adahn

        designed by St John Mosses Browning,

        So, since the Hi-Power counts, the CZ75 does too, right?

        1. A Leap at the Wheel

          STOP CONFUSIN ME WITH YOUR LIBTARD LOGIC, LIBTARD

        2. A Leap at the Wheel

          Also, IRL I lust after that gun by have no reason to buy one 🙁

          1. Not Adahn

            Yeah. I want one of the PCR variants, but also can’t justify buying it.

          2. Sean

            Lol @ justify. Because you want it is usually enough.

          3. Not Adahn

            Yes, but…

            I need to save up a few thousand to spend on SASS guns.

            Since I currently have zero of the six required.

    2. Florida Man

      I completed my first week of the LEAP program. Pros: I’m no longer 100 dependent on the power rack. Cons: I am sore all over.

      Thanks for the recommendations.

      1. A Leap at the Wheel

        Oh yeah? Awesome. Cry in the dojo, laugh on the battlefield.

        Now I think I need to come up with a backronym for that

        1. Florida Man

          CID-LOB?

          1. Jarflax

            Criminal Investigation Division-Law Officers Beneficent? If the army unionizes we are done.

          2. Florida Man

            We’re already as done as Trump’s steak.

          3. Jarflax

            Yeah, you have a point. Carry on.

          4. A Leap at the Wheel

            No, like
            Linear
            Energy
            Adaptation
            Program

          5. Florida Man

            Live, Eat and Pray? Wait, I think that’s already taken.

  22. Raston Bot

    regarding Ginsburg:

    Ginsburg’s treatment also involved doctors inserting a stent into her bile duct, a procedure that’s done to allow bile to drain from the liver after a growth has started to crimp the tube shut. While surgery often follows to remove the cancer, the court said she doesn’t need additional treatment.

    https://www.bloomberg.com/news/articles/2019-08-23/justice-ginsburg-treated-for-malignant-tumor-on-pancreas

    1. I don’t want to be ghoulish here, but, really, we’re talking about months, not years, at this point, aren’t we?

      1. A Leap at the Wheel

        She’s not a goul, she’s a lich.

      2. Raston Bot

        i have grudging respect for her remarkable resiliency. and really, with the current makeup, i’d probably rather lose&replace Roberts b/c he’s been such a backstabber. at least you know Ginsburg’s vote.

        1. Jarflax

          She also is the one leftist judge on the Court who is socially civil toward the right wing judges. I wish she wasn’t ruling on Constitutional issues, but I don’t wish her ill.

      3. Dr. Fronkensteen

        Jan 21st. 2021? she might make it.

      4. kinnath

        Before the 1st Monday in October would be good enough.

        1. Pope Jimbo

          Think of the tears if Cocaine Mitch pushes through a Trump nominee just before the election. Followed up by a Trump win.

          1. kinnath

            I am so ready for the wailing and gnashing of teeth that will come from Trump replacing Ginsberg. It can’t happen soon enough.

          2. creech

            Let’s at least show more class when she croaks than the progs are showing about David Koch.

      5. Fatty Bolger

        She’ll be just fine as long as they keep the formaldehyde topped up.

    2. Not Adahn

      inserting a stent into her bile duct

      Hey! No fair writing SugarFree’s stories for him!

    3. Private Chipperbot

      So this is not that Connecticut story?

      1. Crusty Juggler

        What happened in Connecticut?

        1. Lou Reed shot himself in the testicles?

          1. Spudalicious

            And then dope fell out of RBG’s butt?

    4. Rhywun

      HANG ON, GIRL!

      1. Not Adahn

        OMG can you imagine her kicking during the general?

        I don’t know if I would need to stock up on more popcorn or ammunition.

    5. Semi-Spartan Dad

      If the seat opens before the election, what are the chances that the Repubs will be able to fill it?

      I can see the few Repub senators who bent over and grabbed their ankles for the Dems during the Kavanaugh doing it again.

      1. Raston Bot

        There won’t be as much sexual assault delays with a female nominee like Amy Comey Barrett. But Planned Parenthood troopers will be out in full annoying force.

        1. Semi-Spartan Dad

          I was thinking out of some convoluted sense of fairness… We said no votes before an election for the guy Obama wanted (can’t remember his name) so we’ll keep to that rule now.

          1. Raston Bot

            oh no, that was Biden’s silly rule that the GOP rammed down their throats at the end of Obama’s term when he tried to nominate a mostly moderate candidate (who was really anti-2A). if the GOP has control, then they won’t bother enforcing that rule to replace Ruth.

          2. kinnath

            No votes during the lame-duck president who will be replaced by someone in the next election.

            This rule doesn’t necessarily apply to a sitting president that is running for reelection (as I read somewhere after RBGs last cancer treatment).

          3. grrizzly

            The rule is simple: who controls the Senate decides what to do with the nomination.

          4. Suthenboy

            Fairness? You can’t play fair with the left. They don’t nd after they get you they laugh at you.
            Fuck them. Grind their nuts to butter.

          5. Semi-Spartan Dad

            Agreed. I was thinking of Flake and Murkowski though. They don’t seem to realize that.

        2. Pope Jimbo

          There won’t be as much sexual assault delays with a female nominee like Amy Comey Barrett

          I don’t follow the courts/judges very much. I’m assuming that she won’t face any credible accusations of teenage sexual assault because she was notorious for getting whiskey dick during high school parties?

          1. Crusty Juggler

            THE DEVILS TRIANGLE WAS A DRINKING GAME!!

    6. Raston Bot

      this statement:

      “The tumor was treated definitively and there is no evidence of disease elsewhere in the body.”

      is not the same as this:

      a procedure that’s done to allow bile to drain from the liver after a growth has started to crimp the tube shut.

      oh boy. that certainly sounds like evidence of disease elsewhere (liver) in her body.

    7. The Last American Hero

      Did she get any painkillers after the surgery? Just asking.

  23. Crusty Juggler

    Tomi Lahren now has an athleisure line

    Fox Nation host Tomi Lahren has released an athleisure line in partnership with Alexo Athletica, an activewear brand that specializes in pants with reinforced pockets for carrying firearms.

    Lahren announced her brand collaboration on Instagram Friday morning, adding that she has been told she is “too controversial” for athleisure-wear and should stick to “politics and Trump cheerleading.”

    The line, called Freedom, consists of nine products in varying shades of white, burgundy, and navy — consistent with Lahren’s zealously patriotic, “America First” television personality and complete with star-spangled sports bras and camo-print leggings.

    “I think there are a lot of young girls out there who don’t feel like they have a brand that represents their freedom,” Lahren said in her clothing line’s promotional video.

    Alexo Athletica is most famous for its signature “carrywear” leggings and pants, which can hold multiple small “protection tools” (like Tasers or pepper spray) and a loaded firearm that is smaller than 23 ounces, but Lahren’s line of leggings doesn’t have a built-in holster for guns.

    She’s so brave.

    1. Tonio

      Athleisher. Like a Russian mobster in a track suit. Or an upscale housewife showing off her toned butt in Lulu Lemon yoga pants.

      1. Crusty Juggler

        Or a fit man in hip-hugging grey sweats showing off his ample bulge.

  24. Enough About Palin

    Federal appeals court rules for St. Cloud couple seeking to deny same-sex wedding film services

    http://www.startribune.com/federal-appeals-court-rules-for-st-cloud-couple-seeking-to-deny-same-sex-wedding-film-services/558003872/

    Kieth Ellison need a good wood-chipping.

    1. Tonio

      People still use film? How Twentieth Century. And yes, I know that Super-8 is still a thing.

      1. Jarflax

        Nick Cage hunts snuff porn! It’s no Wicker Man, but it’s got its own magic.

        1. The only Wicker Man stars Edward Woodward, thank you very much.

          1. Crusty Juggler

            No, there is a remake which stars Nic Cage.

          2. As Ted said, there was only one Wicker Man, just like there was only one Matrix movie.

          3. Jarflax

            You cannot deny the bees!

          4. Mad Scientist

            There was only one Jaws.

      2. gbob

        Looks up from writing a Glib submission on film photography long enough to mutter nasty statement about Tonio.

  25. Crusty Juggler

    ‘Ungrateful motherf–ker’: Trump surrogates furious at A$AP Rocky for not thanking the president

    Trump allies who helped free A$AP Rocky from Swedish prison are furious with the rapper and his team for not thanking the president.

    “I was like, man, you ungrateful motherf–kers, you. I can’t believe you. We didn’t ask you guys for nothing other than for you guys to be grateful,” Kareem Lanier, who co-chairs the Urban Revitalization Coalition and advises President Trump with African-American issues, told Yahoo News Thursday. “We just want you guys to be appreciative and say thank you.”

    “The White House didn’t ask for anything. There were no conditions attached, but my condition and Kareem’s condition was that all I’m asking for you guys to do is say thank you,” Scott told Rocky’s manager, claiming he agreed to the condition.

    Scott and Lanier then reached out to Trump’s son-in-law Jared Kushner as their White House contact. In addition, the two said they later talked to the president and personally encouraged him to release Rocky. Days later, Trump told reporters that “many members of the African-American community” had asked him to release the rapper. The White House was also in dialogue with reality star Kim Kardashian West about securing Rocky’s releas

    How is this real?

    1. Jarflax

      Well first you take the strong anti-intellectual strain in American populism. Add in Alinsky’s ‘rules’, mix while stirring in a hefty dollop of partisanship and mendacity from the press, garnish with a massive unfireable bureaucracy, and serve on a bed of identity politics and rage.

      1. Saute and simmer, the flavor can’t be beat.

    1. Pope Jimbo

      Uffda. Is there a good Norwegian Edit Faerie that can help? The link worked for me, but just in case….

      Here it is again.

    2. Tonio

      Anal electrocution? Looks like the gender benders just threw the anti-cruelty folks under the bus.

  26. Tonio

    I’m trying out KO Battle Standard Barrel Finished Gin. I’m not sure I like the Oak and Bourbon notes this imparts. I sort of expect my gin to have an astringent character, something like rubbing alcohol infused with herbs. Am I just nye kulturny?

    1. Florida Man

      I had a barrel aged gin from Manifest in Jax. It was really good.

  27. ElspethFlashman

    OT: No longer am I self-employed. I got a new job! Go me.

    1. Tonio

      Congrats, and yes I would like fries with that. [ducks]

    2. A Leap at the Wheel

      Great!!
      or
      Condolences!!

      Pick which ever one goes with this good news or bad news.

    3. MikeS

      Awesome!

    4. Sean

      Woohoo!

      Congrats.

    5. Semi-Spartan Dad

      Congrats EF!

      1. ElspethFlashman

        Thanks all! It’s happy news, in most respects. Oddly enough, small firms can give health benefits and 401k. Who’d have thunk it?

        I might miss some aspects of self-employment (like I left work at 11:30 today). But I’ll be glad to have someone else paying the bills, and not get penalized tax-wise for self-employment.

        1. Yes, the self-employment taxes suck.
          Congratulations on the new gig!
          And congratulations to LH on becoming a house husband.

        2. The Last American Hero

          They can, but usually the benefits have scare quotes around them and the match is paltry.

    6. Pope Jimbo

      w00t! Now you are a cog in The Machine!

      1. Suthenboy

        You are trying to get laid, aren’t you?

        1. Jarflax

          Does this mean Oscar the hood ornament is coming soon?

    7. Jarflax

      Grats! Sole practitioner life has rewards, but they aren’t usually financial.

    8. BEAM ain’t co-operatin’ with the MAN

      ” ? Money, ? huuuunnnny! ?? “  8^>

    9. Tundra

      Congrats!

      I hope you are fantastically successful!

      1. Mad Scientist

        Anyone married to the Ayatollah of Rock and Rolla has already achieved success.

        1. Tundra

          OK, fine.

          I hope she achieves transcendent success!

          1. ElspethFlashman

            Thanks Tundra!

    10. Count Potato

      Congrats!

    11. Spudalicious

      Suweetah!

    12. Gustave Lytton

      Congrats on the move to Big(ish) Law!

    13. DEG

      Congratulations!

  28. Crusty Juggler

    Dow closes 600 points down as Trump tweets fan trade war

    The Dow Jones Industrial Average ended Friday down more than 600 points, about 2.4%, capping a daylong slide that started after President Trump directed U.S. companies to find alternatives to Chinese suppliers.

    The broader S&P 500 finished down 76 points, or 2.6%, while the tech-heavy Nasdaq fell about 240 points, or 3%.

    The Dow’s decline followed Trump’s tweets almost immediately, more than a week after the blue-chip average slid 800 points in the largest single-day drop this year. Stocks had partially rebounded over the last week following strong earnings reports from major retailers.

    lol check out all the snowflakes triggered by words.

    1. Juvenile Bluster

      Fuck that. It was fucking stupid, and he’s (apparently) going to be putting more tariffs on, which is also fucking stupid.

  29. Pope Jimbo

    Perverse incentives, WTF?

    Frazee-Vergas public schools waive student activity and game entrance fees for 2 years

    Frazee/Vergas are a few small towns near where I grew up. This story had a good headline. Why not let kids participate in sports and go to games for free? Aaah, but there is a catch.

    To get the waiver you have to complete an Application for Educational Benefits. In other words you have to apply to the free school lunch program.

    Courneya and Winjum both said it doesn’t matter if a family qualifies for free or reduced lunch: As long as they fill out and turn in the application, their children will not have activity fees and will not need to pay to get into regular season home events.

    “Everybody has some pride in them and that pride sometime hurts a little bit, filling out that application,” Courneya said. But if applying means the school may receive money, and the student has no activity or admission fees, it’s a “win-win,” he said.

    My guess is that it is easier to qualify for the free lunch program than most people think and this is a way to get their head count up. They already have 417 (of 968 total) kids in the program.

    These towns aren’t dirt poor. They aren’t rich either. They are just normal places.

    1. “Everybody has some pride in them and that pride sometime hurts a little bit, filling out that application,” Courneya said. But if applying means the school may receive money, and the student has no activity or admission fees, it’s a “win-win,” he said.

      Fuck this mentality.

      1. Jarflax

        Shame is the glue that holds a society together. /Not sarcasm

        1. Clearly they are both stunning and brave to overcome the ignominy of filling out o form to get free stuff.

          1. Jarflax

            I really wish your comment wasn’t being made seriously every day by the media.

    2. Tonio

      if applying means the school may receive money

      There’s your tell, right there. First they turned the middle class into tax cattle. Now they are turning the schoolchildren into free labor through things like this and “mandatory volunteerism.”

      1. Mad Scientist

        Everything government touches turns to shit.

      2. Gustave Lytton

        The mandatory community service requirements are abhorrent.

    3. Chipwooder

      At the start of every school year, the Henrico County Public Schools system sends me emails and robocalls exhorting me that “your children may be eligible for the federal school lunch program”. Just got another one two days ago. I’m certain what you described is driving it.

      1. A Leap at the Wheel

        No doubt about it. Free-and-reduced-lunches drives a lot of federal funding.

    4. Rhywun

      You’re probably right – just another number to gin up.

      NYC is always crowing about how like 90% of the kids get free lunch, 75% live in poverty, blah blah blah. It’s all complete bullshit.

      1. Jarflax

        When you incentivize crowing about poverty by those tasked with dealing with poverty, you get more poverty, or at least more things called poverty.

    5. Semi-Spartan Dad

      “Everybody has some pride in them and that pride sometime hurts a little bit, filling out that application,” Courneya said. But if applying means the school may receive money, and the student has no activity or admission fees, it’s a “win-win,” he said.

      Did this scene flash through anyone else’s head after reading that?

      Fuck Pride
      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ruhFmBrl4GM

      1. Jarflax

        Yeah but his pride sure came into play after the basement didn’t it? Hard pipehittin’ pride.

    6. ttyrant

      Jimbo – I saw you post the other day on your family situation. I hope you and your family are hanging in there.

      1. Tundra

        Hey!

        Since you’re now One of Us®, would you like to be on the MN/ND/IA Glibs event calendar?

        If so, hit me up at minnetundra AT the evil bastards and I’ll get you on the list.

    7. Fourscore

      When did these programs start? My high school didn’t even get a cafeteria ’til the fall of ’53. If you wanted to eat, you paid. Some of the food was subsidized, I’m sure. Junior high, 1949-’52 was a cash menu, I can only remember mashed potatoes/gravy and hamburgers and milk on the menu. There may have been other items but I don’t remember seeing anyone eating them. Most kids, including me, brown bagged it, maybe a nickel for a bottle of milk.

      Some wag from the Upper Range said something about “Times -A-Changin’ ” but no one knew what he was talking about.

    1. commodious spittoon

      N

        1. kinnath

          A

          1. A Leap at the Wheel

            T

          2. Jarflax

            W

          3. MikeS

            X

    2. Florida Man

      I’m looking forward to that flick.

  30. Crusty Juggler

    The Proud Boys’ Real Target

    The Proud Boys are threatening violence to achieve political change. That is the textbook definition of terrorism. Moreover, even before Charlottesville, domestic terrorism had emerged as a danger from people motivated by the far-right ideology—that is, from the political forces (if not the actual individuals) now demanding that the government crush their enemies so that they can own the streets. Consider a very partial list of horrendous crimes motivated by right-wing racism, misogyny, and anti-Semitism: a mass killing at an African American church in Charleston, South Carolina; pipe bombs sent to public figures who oppose Donald Trump; a massacre at a Pittsburgh synagogue; and 20 people—mostly Latino—gunned down at an El Paso Walmart.

    Meanwhile, some antifa protesters have worn masks or armor, or have shouted down speakers; some beat up the conservative journalist Andy Ngo at a demonstration earlier this year; some have thrown milkshakes, and some have threatened violence or physically fought at right-wing rallies. But the number of mass shootings committed by people identified with antifa is zero, and so is the number of lives taken. The demonstrators that trapped my family in the museum were there to disrupt the politics of a city they have no stake in. Many, if not most, of the counterprotesters were there to defend their hometown. Most of them were nonviolent and came to oppose violence.

    Having lived in the Northwest for many years, I am familiar with left-wing forces that use violent tactics. Violence is self-defeating and morally wrong, and I want no part of it or them. But there is simply no equivalence here.

    Although no major political figure has embraced antifa activism, the Republican Party has begun to embrace the Proud Boys. Last fall, the Metropolitan Republican Club invited a Proud Boys leader to speak at a club event. (After the event, two Proud Boys beat four protesters so badly that a jury on Monday convicted two of them on charges of assault and riot.) The Republican activist Roger Stone has said he was initiated as a Proud Boy, and Proud Boys appeared at a federal courthouse when he turned himself in on charges brought by former Special Counsel Robert Mueller. Stone and the Fox News commentator Tucker Carlson posed in the Fox greenroom with two Proud Boys accompanying Stone.

    1. Chipwooder

      This reminds me of when the FBI was pretending that Juggalos were a sinister criminal organization.

    2. Fatty Bolger

      “But the number of mass shootings committed by people identified with antifa is zero, and so is the number of lives taken.”

      ORLY?

      The Dayton shooter had an extreme left Twitter feed
      From CNN’s Paul Murphy and Konstantin Toropin

      A Twitter account that appears to belong to Dayton shooter Connor Betts retweeted extreme left-wing and anti-police posts as well as tweets supporting the violent protest group Antifa.

      The most recent tweet on the @iamthespookster account was on Aug. 3, the day of the shooting, when he retweeted a post saying, “Millenials have a message for the Joe Biden generation: hurry up and die.” He also retweeted support for Bernie Sanders and Elizabeth Warren.

    3. Rhywun

      Many, if not most, of the counterprotesters were there to defend their hometown.

      *ahem*

      Bullshit.

  31. Pope Jimbo

    lol

    If I genuinely believed in 12 years coastal areas would be under water, I wouldn’t by a $15 million mansion on…Martha’s Vineyard.

    Call me crazy, but it doesn’t seem like Obama is taking climate change all that seriously.

    1. Fatty Bolger

      As Instapundit says, I’ll believe it’s a crisis when the people who keep telling me it’s a crisis start acting like it’s a crisis.

  32. Juvenile Bluster

    Statement: Doing or supporting things to “own the libs” is getting as annoying as “Orange Man Bad”.

    Whatever happened to principles?

    1. Mad Scientist

      I’ve scant evidence that either the left, the right, or most libertarians know what those are.

      1. Tundra

        Motherfuckers need Jesus, apparently…

      2. Juvenile Bluster

        That statement is coming as a result of me seeing self-described libertarians on Twitter either go all in for Trump, no matter what he does, or go all-in on Orange Man Bad.

        Here I am, stuck in the middle with you.

        1. Mad Scientist

          Same. Libertarians are supposed to want to get politics out of their lives, not douse everything with it.

          1. Crusty Juggler

            More like loosertarians.

            Win an election before you open your Koch-fueled mouths!

          2. Jarflax

            Looser due to too much Mexican buttsex? Or just really relaxed from all the weed?

          3. Crusty Juggler

            It’s always sex and drugs with you people. Back in my day we called you people dirty, long-haired, hippy freaks, and we sent you to Canada to be useless in that country. REAL AMERICANS know to keep their personal lives personal.

            Show some class!

          4. Jarflax

            The lines of rag-clad orphans fanning me with $1000 bills shows my class far better than any Miss Manners rule ever could.

          5. REAL AMERICANS know to keep their personal lives personal

            *masturbates furiously until it turns red, white, and blue*

          6. Spudalicious

            Are you calling MS’s mouth a Koch holster?

    2. grrizzly

      I live such a sheltered life that I’ve never seen anyone IRL who’s doing or supporting things to “own the libs.” Orange Man Bad folks, on the other hand…

      1. It’s all Twitter shit. I hear much more “Trump is satan” IRL than “Trump can do no wrong” but I’ve run into both. Most folks are mildly anti Trump because that’s what they’re supposed to be.

      2. Heroic Mulatto

        Don’t you live/work in the People’s Republic of Cambridge? Do you even know any non-libs IRL?

        1. Jarflax

          He knows Maoists, Stalinists, a few Trotskyites, and at least a couple of Syndicalists. Are they all Libs?

          1. Heroic Mulatto

            SHUT THE FUCK UP, LIBTARD!

        2. grrizzly

          When I lived in Southie–only a couple of years ago–I had a neighbor who was pro-Trump. But then he moved to Florida. That’s about it.

          But yes, that was my point.

    3. Jarflax

      I think some of it is joy at finally having someone in power push back at the mendacity of the press. On the other hand if someone punches you in the nose you are justified in stomping that someone, not everyone who sort of agrees with that someone on some issue.

    4. commodious spittoon

      Principles are for CUCKS. #lolgf

    5. Florida Man

      Whatever happened to principles?

      It didn’t lead to my preferred out come, so I abandoned them.

    6. Crusty Juggler

      Owning the libs leads to winning.

      Cry more, looser LIBertarians!

    7. Fatty Bolger

      Doing or supporting things like what?

    8. Semi-Spartan Dad

      I don’t think enjoying “owning the libs” has to conflict with having principles.

      The Dem Party has become the antithesis of freedom. I don’t think they particularly give a shit about the economy stuff Trump is doing with tariffs or Greenlands… they just react because it’s expected. Increasing personal liberty through 2nd A restoration, appointment of Constitutionalist justices, removing taxes, etc. is the best way to own them.

      1. Semi-Spartan Dad

        Heh… Greendlands. I’m only on my first drink.

        1. Fatty Bolger

          No problem. It will be Trumpland soon, anyway.

      2. I don’t think enjoying “owning the libs” has to conflict with having principles.

        I think that there can be an unthinking contrarian streak in some libertarian circles of “whycome you no hate repubcans enuf”

        The enemy of my enemy is my friend, even if my friend is a bit of an asshole.

        1. Scruffy Nerfherder

          Is it ok if I hate all people?

          1. Jarflax

            Does this mean you are becoming green?

        2. Tundra

          Most of my friends are assholes. It’s why they are my friends.

          1. Semi-Spartan Dad

            Back in my late teens, a friend got blackout drunk at a party and pissed on a stranger’s leg. The pissed on and vastly outnumbered guy wanted to kick my friend’s ass but we stopped him and explained the consequences of such action. He told us that our friend was a real asshole and didn’t understand why we would defend him.

            Someone responded along the lines of, “Completely agree that was fucked up but it doesn’t matter, he’s our asshole”.

          2. Tundra

            Exactly.

        3. Heroic Mulatto

          The enemy of my enemy is my friend, even if my friend is a bit of an asshole.

          Get a load of Charlie Wilson here!

          1. + a few thousand stingers

          2. Fourscore

            Needs more mules

    9. Scruffy Nerfherder

      Winning is a principle. One that most people ascribe to.

      Just sayin.

      1. pan fried wylie

        I’d could understand “winning at any cost” or “winning honorably” as principles, but just “winning” sounds kinda sparse.

  33. The Late P Brooks

    OT: No longer am I self-employed. I got a new job! Go me.

    Signing bonus? Company car? Hot and cold running clerks?

  34. The Late P Brooks

    Whatever happened to principles?

    Negative interest.

  35. Gadfly

    I just can’t help but wonder how one comes to occupy a place where removing a part of your body that gives you greater autonomy and a broader set of abilities is seen as desirable.

    This phases me not at all, given the transgender thing. I mean, ask most men whether they would rather lose their dick or their legs, and the majority will say legs. Yet people willingly castrate themselves, so I’m not at all surprised there are those who wish to inflict other disabilities on themselves. I think it’s all crazy, but none of it is surprising or puzzling or unbelievable.

    1. Jarflax

      I think it’s all crazy, but none of it is surprising or puzzling or unbelievable.

      I’d go so far as to say it is self evidently crazy. Unfortunately, insanity is an area that the NAP struggles with. Is it aggression to force someone to get treatment? How about preventing them from self harm that is manifestly a result of mental illness? I think a principled view has to determine that it is aggression. But can it be justified? At some point in the progress of mental illness the sufferer seemingly loses agency; how do we respond? Hell, who should respond?

    2. JaimeRoberto: Gentleman, Scholar, French Tickler

      Unfortunately it’s cool to be the victim these days.

  36. The Late P Brooks

    Tundra- that Lotus on BaT sold for $29k, after a flurry of bids in the last 20 minutes or so. I thought 18 was too good to be true.

    1. Tundra

      Yep, but still – that’s a pretty sweet car for 30K.

      1. Mad Scientist

        That car is what Mazda copied to build the Miata.

        1. Mad Scientist

          So the guy I’m buying the Spitfire from has 3 of them. The one I’m getting is all original, but needs quite a bit of cosmetic work. There’s another that’s missing a bunch of parts, so we’re talking about putting a rotary in it. Now I can’t decide which one I’m more excited about.

          1. Tundra

            *unzips*

            That’s a great plan. Lightweight, compact engine, decent but not stupid power – sounds like a winner!

            Oh look, it is!

            And you don’t have to fuck up the hood.

          2. Mad Scientist

            Grassroots Motorsports has built their Rospit as well. Gonna be fun!

          3. Tundra

            Link?

          4. Mad Scientist

            Here’s one of the updates. I can’t find the original print columns online.

          5. Tundra

            Thanks!

            Here’s some crazy fuckers stuffing a Yamaha R-1 supercharged engine in a Spit.

          6. Mad Scientist

            Delightful!

          7. Tundra

            I’m still watching. These guys are great!

  37. The Late P Brooks

    That statement is coming as a result of me seeing self-described libertarians on Twitter

    There’s your trouble.

  38. The Late P Brooks

    But the number of mass shootings committed by people identified with antifa is zero, and so is the number of lives taken.

    Those weren’t real antifastis.

  39. The Late P Brooks

    Blamethrowers on full dispersion!

    While the wildfires raging in the Amazon rainforest may constitute an “international crisis,” they are hardly an accident.
    The vast majority of the fires have been set by loggers and ranchers to clear land for cattle. The practice is on the rise, encouraged by Jair Bolsonaro, Brazil’s populist pro-business president, who is backed by the country’s so-called “beef caucus.”
    While this may be business as usual for Brazil’s beef farmers, the rest of the world is looking on in horror.
    So, for those wondering how they could help save the rainforest, known as “the planet’s lungs” for producing about 20% of the world’s oxygen, the answer may be simple. Eat less meat.

    Blah blah blah progress sucks.

    1. MikeS

      It’s been a while since the rain forest was the panic-of-the-week.

    2. Fatty Bolger

      Fake news. I remember reading that the rainforest would be gone by now, so obviously it is.

      1. The Last American Hero

        By the year 2000…..

      2. Jarflax

        It’s totally weird. It’s almost like sometimes trees regrow somehow.

    3. Rhywun

      the rest of the world is looking on in horror

      Uh huh.

    4. Suthenboy

      The rest of the world looks on in horror..the rest of the world that already cleared their forests for cattle, drained their swamps, put levees up to stop floods, built highways and electrical grids….

      If the rest of the world isn’t willing to tear down theirs, replant their forests and live in squalor then fuck the rest of the world.

      1. Jarflax

        but but but those are the lungs of the planet!

        1. Rhywun

          Is that the horseshit I suspect it is?

          1. Jarflax

            I was assured that the day the rainforest was cut down was the day oxygen went off the menu.

  40. JaimeRoberto: Gentleman, Scholar, French Tickler

    From the looks of it, the Dems really are cancelling white men.

  41. Crusty Juggler

    How the Browns and Paul DePodesta Brought Moneyball to the NFL

    “As a strategy and research group, we’re charged with coming up with good questions to ask or answering interesting questions other people have,” DePodesta tells me over the phone. “And the best answers are rarely within your specific domain. Another way of saying that is we need to know what’s going on in the world of the NFL, but if we want to create really, really interesting answers, ones that give us a potential competitive advantage, then we really need to look outside the NFL for inspiration.”

    “I think there’s a large misconception about analytics in general that it’s all about data,” DePodesta says. “That it’s all about guys sitting at their computers and running through spreadsheets. That’s not the reality. We focus a lot on strategy, we focus a lot on process.”

    “Our job is to try to corral uncertainty as best we can,” DePodesta says. “But we’re never going to reduce it to zero.”

    “Should we draft Baker?”

    “I am not uncertain.”

    1. Fatty Bolger

      Meh. Every team has analytics now. It was Sashi Brown who tried to go full moneyball, and it failed. Now they have a traditional football guy as GM.

      1. A Leap at the Wheel

        If by failed you mean loaded the Browns with the best crop of young players the franchise has ever had, yes, they really cocked that up real good.

        The failure was on ownership.

    2. B.P.

      I think I’ll wait for the Browns to post a winning season before declaring the front office a brain trust.

      1. A Leap at the Wheel

        GM’s can’t make you win. They only buy the groceries. A shitty chef can still put cottage cheese on noodles and call it lasagna, and Hue Jackson was that chef. Under moderately competent coaching last year, they go at least 9 wins.

        1. Jarflax

          Hue Jackson squandered the best years of the Bengals young offense with utterly ineffective ‘trick’ plays that usually ran for 8 yd losses, blew chunks with the Raiders, so of course the Browns made him head coach. and of course my Bengals then hired him as an assistant…

    1. Suthenboy

      In what way does that look like a rabbit? I think someone doesn’t know what either a rabbit or a raven looks like

      1. Rhywun

        It’s an optical illusion. The “rabbit” has a misshapen head with the “ears” growing out of one side…

        But yes, “viral”. ?

      2. grrizzly

        I’ve just returned from a run where I saw half a dozen real rabbits.

  42. Count Potato

    “Marvel’s All-Female Villain Team Takes Aim at Toxic Masculinity”

    https://twitter.com/CBR/status/1163465808523276290

    https://www.cbr.com/marvel-syndicate-all-female-toxic-masculinity/

    What?

    1. Rhywun

      Parody? Honestly can’t tell.

  43. LJW

    For those who care John Wick 3 is out on digital release today. That will be my nights entertainment.

    1. Count Potato

      It was slight better than 2, but both sequels were awful.

  44. Sean

    Nostalgia has a powerful allure. I *really* want this car. https://www.carstory.com/detail/1987-chevrolet-cavalier-madison_oh-1G1JF11W2H7222207

    For no other reason than I had two previously. Plus, It looks freaking mint.

    It’s a 6+ hr drive away. I know it would be a let down to drive now, still I find it hard not to want to own it.

    My GTI is light years ahead of it, but I’ve looked at this thing probably a dozen times (online) and if it was 3 hours away or closer I’d probably have already made a bad decision.

    1. Sean

      Oh, and I blame you BaT posting people for me looking for one in first place.

    2. Fatty Bolger

      Nostalgia is indeed powerful, but oh man, those were awful cars. Not really a sports car, and like all early generation Cavaliers, would usually start to fall apart after about 70K miles.

      1. Sean

        *sigh*

        I know.

        But still…

        1. Tundra

          I’m a big believer in no apologies for weird car decisions. I bought a limey shitbox that I’ve always liked and enjoy the hell out of it. Mikey is spending a ton of time and money restoring his. A bunch of people like Mad and Sensei race and do all kinds of cool shit.

          Buy whatever the fuck you want. It will always be an adventure.

          Oh, and sorry about BaT.

          1. Sean

            I think I still have a box of cassette tapes in the garage…

            Maybe I can justify the car to play them.

            ?

          2. Tulip

            Tundra, I’m watching Hyperdrive on Netflix. I think you might like it.

          3. Tundra

            Thanks, Tulip! I’ll check it out.

  45. Count Potato

    “Beta Cuck 4 Lyfe Legal Defense Fund

    As many of you are aware, the man you see in the right side of the photograph in the red helmet is Alexander Dial (trending on Twitter as #betacuck4lyfe), a protestor who was defending Portland, Oregon along with a large group of local citizens against SPLC-designated hate groups who had invaded the downtown area without permits in order to spread their rhetoric of intolerance. Unfortunately, the Portland Police arrested Alexander during this demonstration and have chosen to criminally prosecute him. These are serious charges and he needs your help now! Alexander has no criminal record, a long history of activism, and he is in serious legal jeopardy as a result of the nature of this case’s political charge. Take a stand with those who stand up for their communities and donate to his defense fund now. These hate groups are emboldened under the current American Administration and we need all the community defenders we can. We will not be intimidated. *** Any money donated that ends up being extraneous will be passed along as a donation to the American Civil Liberties Union in order to continue the fight to protect human and civil liberties. *** This campaign is created by Alexander Dial of Portland, Oregon, and the donations are intended to go toward legal fees and/or penalties associated with these proceedings only. Any money raised from this campaign will be withdrawn ONLY for his legal defense in this specific case. Transparency is very important to him. Any extra money donated that is not spent as described above will be donated to the ACLU without exception. None of the money raised is to be spent on anything not directly related to legal fees or penalties associated with this case.”

    https://www.gofundme.com/f/jve5am

    “Alexander Gorman Dial has started a “Beta Cuck 4 Lyfe legal defense fund” on GoFundMe. He was recorded last Saturday allegedly assaulting multiple people while wearing a mask, helmet, tactical gloves, bullet proof vest & arm guards. The fundraiser has raised nearly $10k already”

    https://twitter.com/MrAndyNgo/status/1164499439014338560

    1. Rhywun

      without permits

      Snopes: “Sure, why not?”

    2. Suthenboy

      Assault is self-defense. Defending his town from hateful rhetoric.

      “It is ok to beat people that disagree with you”.

      Leftists really are always and everywhere the same.

    3. Scruffy Nerfherder

      a protestor who was defending Portland

      We will not be intimidated.

      It’s like Stalingrad out there.

    4. Scruffy Nerfherder

      betacuck4lyfe has a jaw like a linebacker.

    5. Hyperion

      “#betacuck4lyfe”

      Stop telling us what a pussy you are. I survived my wife running the leaf blower this morning at 9am while I was recovering from a hangover and then survived one of her obsessive house cleaning all day sessions. Get the fuck over it!

      1. The euphemisms, they’re too much to handle!

  46. Count Potato

    “.@Apple says clean Apple Card with a microfiber cloth, avoid contact with leather and denim”

    https://twitter.com/appleinsider/status/1164289344523427841

    “Just glue it to your forehead.”

  47. Count Potato

    “Horrified Trump Learns What Happened To Last Guy Who Called Himself King Of The Jews”

    https://twitter.com/TheBabylonBee/status/1164598105595154432

    1. Omg Twitter is a CESSPOOL. I thought neckbearding atheists were bad, but neckbearding Christians are horrible! Nuke it from orbit, it’s the only way to be sure!

      1. Hyperion

        “I thought neckbearding atheists were bad, but neckbearding Christians are horrible!”

        What’s really horrific is when neckbrearding progs and control freak Christians team up to oppress you. It’s happened before, it can happen again.

        1. Jarflax

          The enemy of my enemy is just as much of an asshole as I am.

      2. Scruffy Nerfherder

        People are assholes. Usually stupid assholes…. with superiority complexes.

        I’m talking about myself of course.

  48. Hyperion

    “I think my kids pulled my rearview mirror off when climbing around in the car yesterday. And of course, just like in sex, I can’t get the button to pop out. Err, I mean, the little metal mounting button won’t come unattached from the mirror.”

    Our new SUV has so much technology that I can’t even figure out how I managed to get it to turn on all the interior lights when I turn it off after parking. That shit is really pissing me off when it’s dark. I’m going to have to read a manual, which pisses me off even more. The fact that I’m cursing, which means I’m talking to you, SUV, pisses me off even more because you didn’t obey. The USS Enterprise always obeyed Kirk, WTF?

    1. Sean

      You don’t read the manual? ?

      Are you sure you’re a Glib? Don’t you even OCD?

      1. Hyperion

        Dude, I’m IT. It is a known shame to read a manual. Don’t you even IT?

        1. Sean

          I should have been IT. Somehow I dodged that.

          My first pc was an Atari 400. The next was a TRS-80 model 4.

          Get off my lawn.

          1. Hyperion

            My first pseudo PC was a Commodore 64. My first real PC was a Intel 386. Nothing much has changed, the hardware just keeps getting more powerful.

          2. BEAM ain’t co-operatin’ with the MAN

            Atari ST/MegaST or GTFO.

          3. Hyperion

            Taught myself to code on the commodore, went to school, learned how to code on PC. History. / the end

  49. And while I’m fine, I guess, with people finding a surgeon to mutilate them at their request, I just can’t help but wonder how one comes to occupy a place where removing a part of your body that gives you greater autonomy and a broader set of abilities is seen as desirable.

    That place they’re occupying is more accurately described as “fucking nuts.”

    1. Hyperion

      But, we need to let the inmates run the asylum, for the children.

      I don’t even know what else to say.

    2. There is a fifth dimension beyond that which is known to shitlord. It is a dimension as vast as space and as timeless as infinity. It is the middle ground between reason and insanity, between logic and emotion, and it lies between the pit of straight cis white man’s fears, and the pits of his knowledge. This is the dimension of victimization. It is an area which we call … The Derplight Zone.

  50. DEG

    Rep. Seth Moulton, D-Mass., is dropping out of the 2020 presidential race.

    Who?

    The bloggers, Davis found, used narrative to show that being transabled was natural or essential for them, rather than a choice or something learned. Indeed, they wished to avoid the stigma that might come with the notion of choosing disability, a “socially devalued bodily state.”

    What the fucking fuck?

    1. Hyperion

      Yeah, really, who?

    2. Suthenboy

      That is taking playing the victim to a new level. The vast majority of human behavior is about controlling other people. Turns out the passive-aggressive approach is very effective.

      1. Hyperion

        “The vast majority of human behavior is about controlling other people.”

        Yes, it’s so unfortunate. Most people are not as worried about what they are doing as they are worried about what YOU are doing. If not for this, we would have an instantly better world to live in.

        1. Suthenboy

          We would have colonized the solar system 1000 years ago. The crabs in a bucket analogy is very accurate.
          Then there is the astronomical time, effort and resources that thuggery squanders. It really is amazing we have come as far as we have.

  51. Hyperion

    I really need to walk and run at least 10 miles tomorrow. Today’s weather was shit. Yeah, it’s cooler, more temperate, but can we stop with the monsoon already? Can I get a weather control app on my phone now? It’s a right!