Friday (Finally!) Afternoon Linsk

Man, what a long week. I feel like I was hit with a sack of hammers. But its recovery time. We have a local concert in the park with my family tonight… which, meh. But the kids will like it. And then tomorrow its the first Red River Shootout in a while that I’ve felt good about as a Texas Ex in a long time. By which I mean, it won’t necessarily be luck if the good guys win. So I’ll start a pot of chili in the morning and day drink. Maybe nap in the afternoon. What are you good people up to?

Umm, ambassadors serve at the pleasure of the president, so… what’s the issue here? Oh right, just another hit piece. Here’s the thing I think people

Knife violence in Manchester! If only the good guys had guns…

I was hoping for sexier cyborgs.

Knife violence in DC! Where a 14 year old girl apparently has managed to elude the DC cops. She’s probably not a good person, but I’m kind of rooting for her.

 

Comments

323 responses to “Friday (Finally!) Afternoon Linsk”

  1. Yusef Adama

    How do you charge a Tesla?
    you don’t in Cali!

    1. Tonio

      Solar? [snickers]

      1. Yusef Adama

        Elon said so, it must be true,
        seriously he said that today, it’ll only be a few more weeks, permits you know…..

    2. Ayn Random Variation

      In Soviet California, Tesla charges you!

  2. commodious spittoon

    She’s probably not a good person, but I’m kind of rooting for her.

    Sally Shears origin story?

  3. Count Potato

    “Here’s the thing I think people”

    Meth or opiates?

    1. Tonio

      I figured he was using some kind of invisible ink, like those parts of the constitution that only federal judges can see.

    2. JaimeRoberto: Gentleman, Scholar, French Tickler

      Forgot the Adderall.

    3. Chafed

      Both?

  4. Count Potato

    “I was hoping for sexier cyborgs.”

    Here you go:

    https://www.instagram.com/reallysexycyborg/

  5. Tres Cool

    If anyone has seen Drudge recently, he has the lede: “UPDATE- Ellen like Bush!”

    I may need a new keyboard.

    1. Tres Cool

      See? My s doesnt work.

    2. Tonio

      And she is, of course, getting pilloried for that. I thought the current playbook was that even Bush the Lesser was far better than bad orange man.

      1. “Tulsi Gabbard Apologist”

        It’s going to be funny to see the WaPo pining for orange man when the next “literally Hitler” Republican comes along

        1. If they’re still around by then.

        2. Tonio

          President Pence.

          But there is probably a non-negligible percentage of their base that thinks that an impeachment would cause a total do-over of the election.

        3. Stinky Wizzleteats

          I don’t see that happening but I thought the same thing with Shrub.

      2. Tres Cool

        I was going more with the play on words, “Ellen….Bush….Likes”

        Being a lesbian and all…

        1. Yusef Adama

          That’s what I heard, Sup Tres!

          1. Tres Cool

            HEY YUFUS!

        2. Enough About Palin

          Gosh Tres, I’ve been a Glib since the beginning and never figured you being a Lesbian.

          1. “A lesbian trapped in a man’s body.” –Rush Limbaugh

            Don’t judge me.

          2. Tres Cool

            Its not so bad once you get used to the smell.

            /Heyoooooo!

      3. Chafed

        It is but everyone not on Team Blue is still evil.

    3. grrizzly

      When did Drudge turn into a Never Trumper? Most of the time now he posts a list of headlines from WaPo or NYT. I heard rumors that he sold the site.

      1. Stinky Wizzleteats

        Drudge seems to have gone over to the neocon drug warrior side and he’s sucked balls for years.

        1. “Tulsi Gabbard Apologist”

          Drudge has always been a neocon. His website is just a series of links. Everytime I visit it I feel like I’ve been transported to the internet circa 1995

          1. Everytime I visit it I feel like I’ve been transported to the internet circa 1995

            That’s his gimmick.

          2. “Tulsi Gabbard Apologist”

            Well he’s not appealing to the TGA demographic enough. There are maybe a dozen of us

          3. You mean there’s more than just you?!?!?

          4. “Tulsi Gabbard Apologist”

            We can only hope

      2. Rhywun

        No idea but I heard he’s in his element when there’s an impeachment in the air.

  6. Count Potato

    “Caution: This account is temporarily restricted.
    You’re seeing this warning because there has been some unusual activity from this account. Do you still want to view it?”

    https://twitter.com/RealSexyCyborg

    1. commodious spittoon

      This is pretty juicy. tl;dr: Vice reporters are clickbaity hacks.

      1. commodious spittoon

        Vice would endanger me for a few clicks because in Brooklyn certain things are no big deal. This is not journalism and does not deserve to hide behind the protection legitimate use of that title warrants, this is a savage abuse of privilege knowing full well that in China I had no possible recourse against a billion dollar company who thought titillating their readers with my personal details was worth putting me in jeopardy.

        I begged them through a series or emails not to do this- to consult with anyone who had ever been a journalist in China and verify what I was telling them. I was then put in touch with the editor-in-chief Jason Koebler. He dismissed it- arrogantly sure he understood the threat model of a Chinese women with a massive social media following who had been outspoken on local gender issues, while at the same time making it absolutely clear he did not understand at all or frankly even care enough to Google what is a routine occurrence in China in these circumstances.

        It’s not that a White American can’t understand China- that is nonsense, there are countless American journalists and scholars here that are experts in this field that Jason Koebler or Vice could have contacted to verify what I was telling them, I begged them to. They simply didn’t care.

        1. commodious spittoon

          Oh, and Sarah Jeong is a mendacious shithead.

          1. “Tulsi Gabbard Apologist”

            Wasn’t she fired for encouraging a boycott against the NYT because they published an article that didn’t end with “however, orange man bad”

          2. commodious spittoon

            Ostensibly she’d left a month before tweeting that, but considering the sources (mendacious shithead and the NYT), who knows.

  7. Juvenile Bluster

    School resource officers are scum, part a lot:

    13 year old girl who pointed a finger gun at classmates faces felony charge

    What caliber was this finger gun? How many rounds could it shoot per second? This should be basic information!

    1. “Tulsi Gabbard Apologist”

      “after two boys at a nearby school were charged with misdemeanors for bringing guns to school”

      Man, oh man

      1. Tonio

        Zero Tolerance(tm).

    2. Count Potato

      “who was reported on the school’s anti-bullying app”

      Why does that even exist?

      1. pistoffnick

        How else are you going to anonymously snitch on your enemies?

        1. pistoffnick

          This is exactly what our near miss accident reporting tool at work has become.

    3. Count Potato

      “”It seems a little bit of an anomaly, you would think that having the actual gun that would be the more serious charge, but in fact it’s the actual threat,” Johnson County District Attorney Steve Howe told WDAF .”

      He’s just a yes-man.

    4. Rufus the Monocled

      “Too often there are reports of violence in schools and inevitably questions about what could or should have been done to prevent the tragedy,” the police statement said. “Threats in schools are taken very seriously and treated appropriately.”

      CHOP HER FINGER OFF! THAT’LL LEARN HER!

      JFC.

      By the way, the rhetoric around gun shootings and guns in general contributes to this shrill over reaction.

      1. Mad Scientist

        The shrill overreaction is the whole point.

      2. Ayn Random Variation

        it gives them shrill erections as well

    5. Enough About Palin

      NOBODY NEEDS 10 FINGERS!

  8. Mad Scientist

    Umm, ambassadors serve at the pleasure of the president, so… what’s the issue here?

    I’d be a happy camper if the press would just treat Democratic presidents this same way.

    1. “Tulsi Gabbard Apologist”

      I would settle for at least having a press under Democratic administrations. They slept through that whole eight years

      1. JaimeRoberto: Gentleman, Scholar, French Tickler

        They weren’t sleeping. They just had their heads in Obama’s lap.

      2. “Tulsi Gabbard Apologist”

        “What do you mean the last administration separated immigrant kids? Are you referring to my messiah?”

        “Who was arming ISIS? That’s not true.”

        “What drone bombings? That didn’t happen.”

        1. JaimeRoberto: Gentleman, Scholar, French Tickler

          “Fundamentally change the country? No need to ask what that means.”

        2. Ayn Random Variation

          if I bring anything like that up in order to point out how hypocritical they are, I get back “whataboutism” or other reflexive vomit like “Racist!” or “Fox News” or “right wing talking point”.
          I think most progressives actually think none of these things happened under Obama.
          And if you think about it, how would they know? nobody in their echo chamber will tell them about it. the media they pay attention to white washed it.

          1. JaimeRoberto: Gentleman, Scholar, French Tickler

            “White washed?” I can’t believe you went there. How dare you! So problematic.

    2. JaimeRoberto: Gentleman, Scholar, French Tickler

      The issue is Orange Man Bad. Duh.

      1. Viking1865

        Yep. Said it before, I will say it again: the media, the left, the establishment, by whatever name you want to use, they don’t actually think hes the actual real President.

        Stuff that was not only legal, but completely unobjectionable for the last 50 years is now ATTACKS ON DEMOCRACY.

      2. TARDIS

        The issue is mental illness derangement.

  9. Tonio

    Jeff Bezos finds a bunch of washed up former bureaucrats desperate for relevancy and a brief last flash of fame who say #ImpeachOrangeManNow

    1. Scruffy Nerfherder

      I could find 17 prosecutors that think tweeners should be flogged for sexting.

      1. Jarflax

        Hell I am pretty sure there have been more than 17 teens put on the sex offender list for sexting. Flogging is less destructive.

      2. R C Dean

        “tweeners should be flogged for sexting”

        Got a link?

        /perv OFF

    2. Stinky Wizzleteats

      Is it time to wheel out Woodward and Bernstein too?

    3. Chipwooder

      Hey look, it’s Clinton lackey Richard Ben-Veniste! Isn’t he dead yet?

      1. Ayn Random Variation

        holy shit there’s a blast from the past. Who’s next, Ron Brown?

  10. Count Potato

    “PLEASE READ: When Sen. Harris said her pronouns were she her and her’s, I said mine too. I should not have. I apologize. I am an ally of the LGBTQ community, and I am sorry because I am committed to helping us achieve equality. Thank you for watching our townhall.”

    https://twitter.com/ChrisCuomo/status/1182479789518516225

    1. KibbledKristen

      Fredo gonna Fredo.

      Also, it’s fine when they do it.

      1. Count Potato

        Freda.

    2. “Tulsi Gabbard Apologist”

      His pronouns are “fre” and “do”

      1. Scruffy Nerfherder

        I thought it was “mo” and “ron”.

        1. “Tulsi Gabbard Apologist”

          I find it fascinating how journalists who will gladly tell religious people “your prayers don’t work” will fall over themselves to appease other religious people

    3. Mad Scientist

      On the side of my most recently rebuilt tranny I wrote, “Preferred pronouns: snick, click, flick’s.” My wife tells me it’s not funny. Shows what she knows!

      1. “Tulsi Gabbard Apologist”

        My pronouns are “imperator”. I identify as Augustus

        1. TARDIS

          Hail, your majesty!

          1. TARDIS

            Capitalization fail.
            *cuts finger off*

        2. Jarflax

          Isn’t taxing Mary a problem for you as a Catholic Libertarian?

    4. wdalasio

      I’m smart! Not like everybody says… like dumb… I’m smart and I want respect!

      1. “Tulsi Gabbard Apologist”

        His brother is Andrew Cuomo and he’s considered the idiot in the family. Think about that for a second

  11. KibbledKristen

    Why do bureaucrats always get snippy with me when I tell them their PDFs are not Section 508 compliant? Every. Time.

    1. Mad Scientist

      We didn’t choose to be bureaucrats
      No that’s what our mighty Ja made us
      We’d treat people like swine and make them stand in line
      Even if nobody paid us

      1. Yusef Adama

        Bravo!

    2. Tonio

      Because you’re a beltway bandit (aka contractor scum)?

      1. KibbledKristen

        She took our jeeeeerbbb!

        1. Tonio

          Looks up from reading WaPo, yells “we aren’t paying you to stand around.”

    3. Tonio

      Because they are used to being the ones bringing the regulatory smackdown, not receiving it.

      1. Mad Scientist

        The dreaded 27B/6!

        1. Yusef Adama

          in triplicate!

    4. KibbledKristen

      I feel like if you’re going to be producing PDFs for public use on a USG web site, you should know what 508 is and how to make your documents compliant. They ALWAYS flfy off the handle: “I don’t know how to do that!” “What do you mean by selectable text?”

      Bitches. The lot of em.

      1. Tonio

        But thanks for that because you may have just given me an excellent trolling project.

        1. KibbledKristen

          Keep your mitts off my organization, troll! Go troll State Dept…I’m sure they have plenty of non-compliant PDFs. Or Commerce. Or Ag.

          1. Tonio

            Bigger game, KK. Bigger game.

      2. Jarflax

        Make them read all the noncompliant pdfs into audio files. For every language required.

  12. Yusef Adama

    Boss: Robert, you need to press harder, the last copy doesn’t show up.
    Yusef: you mean you can read it?
    /horrible penmanship

  13. KibbledKristen

    I need a strong set of arms to slice this gigantic butternut squash in half.

    1. Tundra

      Sharp knife and a rubber mallet.

      1. KibbledKristen

        I have a cleaver…no mallet tho

        1. Tundra

          Baseball bat? Hockey stick? Chunk of wood?

          1. Mad Scientist

            Paper cutter!

        2. R C Dean

          USE THE CLEAVER.

          Sorry to shout, but Mrs. Dean damn near destroyed her best knife on those things. I still haven’t ground the blade back to where it needs to be.

          1. Ayn Random Variation

            you can’t afford to buy a new knife?

          2. Rhywun

            Good knives can be very pricey.

        3. Tulip

          Sharpen your knife.

    2. JaimeRoberto: Gentleman, Scholar, French Tickler

      Interesting euphemism.

    3. Sean

      I’ll microwave Kabocha squash for a minute or two before cutting to make it easier.

      Looks like that applies to butternut too.

      https://www.chatelaine.com/food/kitchen-tips/an-easy-way-to-cut-butternut-squash/

    4. Grummun

      This is how you euphemism.

    5. KibbledKristen

      Cleaver + can of San Marzanos worked.

      Nobody ever said I can’t euphemism!

  14. Rufus the Monocled

    I’m laughing and shaking my head too much to type this out. Holy moly….the cringe on this one:

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=of6yy8AGhT0

    Traitor Hanoi Jane aressted and climate change protest.

    These people really need to grow up.

    ‘We’re here to arrest the arsonist!’ I’M DYING HERE.

    1. KibbledKristen

      She said she’s moved to DC and intends to get arrested every Friday. *sigh*

      1. “Tulsi Gabbard Apologist”

        Where’s police abuse when you need it?

      2. Tonio

        Speaking of washed up old people desperate for relevance and publicity…

        1. “Tulsi Gabbard Apologist”

          I may be washed up and old, but you still need to get off my lawn

      3. Rufus the Monocled

        SOUNDS LIKE NONE OF YOU WORK OR WANT TO PANIC!!

        WILL YOU ALL PANIC?!?!? THE EARF IS ON FIRE!!!!

        1. wdalasio

          Let the motherf**ker burn!

          1. Plinker762

            Kill the Earth before it kills us!

      4. R C Dean

        I thin k she said she’ll be in DC. I assume she flies private to and from California every week.

    2. wdalasio

      They’re actually chanting “The Planet…The Planet…The Planet is on fire” to the tune of The Roof is on Fire.

      Are they really too dumb to remember the rest of the lyric was “We don’t need no water. Let the motherfu**er burn”?

      1. “Tulsi Gabbard Apologist”

        Imagine if all those white westerners were protesting their governments for assisting in starving the people of Yemen rather than protesting a make believe future genocide brought on by bad weather?

      2. Chipwooder

        It doesn’t even fit. Two syllables, not three, you stupid fucking hippies.

    3. JaimeRoberto: Gentleman, Scholar, French Tickler

      So she’s in favor of nuclear now?

    1. Mad Scientist

      REEEEEEEEEEEEE!

    2. “Tulsi Gabbard Apologist”

      Nice pussy

      1. “Tulsi Gabbard Apologist”

        *pussy cat*

        Hit send too fast

        1. Tonio

          A little something for Tulsi…

          https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qQvIAs-nPSo

      2. Plinker762

        Did you just have it stuffed?

    3. KibbledKristen

      OMFG

    4. KibbledKristen

      Downloaded that MFer

    5. whiz

      That’s a meme waiting to happen.

  15. R C Dean

    Man, what a long week. I feel like I was hit with a sack of hammers.

    Same here. Hospitals never stop, ever. Mine has been open 24/7/365, without a single break of any kind, for over 75 years.

    It has its rewards, if you look for them (thinking about our little things/big things discussions). Today I met one of our transporters. This is a brutally hard job – on your feet all day, constantly moving, mostly pushing patients in anything from wheelchairs to full on hospital beds. They walk probably 7 – 10 miles a day on hard linoleum floors. The one I met was maybe 5′ 2″, 105 pounds. Asian girl, cute as a button, pushing what had to be 300 pounds at least down the hall. Full-size bed, she could barely see over the patient. Big smile, chatting with the patient the whole way.

    1. commodious spittoon

      …She single?

    2. Enough About Palin

      “Asian girl, cute as a button,”

      GET YOUR ASS TO HR NOW!

    3. Ayn Random Variation

      you should have helped her instead of watching her ass

  16. “Tulsi Gabbard Apologist”

    Trump is moving 1,600 soldiers to Saudi Arabia like a bitch

    1. Dr. Fronkensteen

      It’s not like Infidel troops in Saudi Arabia will upset any Saudis.

      1. “Tulsi Gabbard Apologist”

        It hasn’t in the past.

        *laughs in bin laden*

      2. KibbledKristen

        Bin Laden 2.0

    2. Jarflax

      Yeah! About time we actually went after the bastards that pulled 9/11! Wait, we’re not attacking?

      1. Ayn Random Variation

        lol that’s what I was gonna say.

        There must be a retard pill the Deep State slips into every President’s pie.

        or is it all about making sure the world continues to trade oil in dollars or we’d be fucked?

        1. OneOut

          You got this Ayn.

          It’s the same reason we did Libya.

  17. Tonio

    So I got a text from a number not in my address book claiming to be from some Move On guy (WTF?) telling me that two of my neighbors (addresses supplied) were not registered to vote and could I get on that. Deleted, but suspect they’ll be back.

    Will keep everyone posted.

    1. KibbledKristen

      Gross!

      I got on some kind of lefty text list. I suspect it is related to the breakup I had back in ’18.

      1. Tonio

        Oh, I hadn’t considered that. Wonder if my ex (breakup last summer) dropped a dime on me, as it were.

        1. “Tulsi Gabbard Apologist”

          You guys have some cruel vindictive exes. I once had an ex slash my tires, but at least she had the decency to not put me on a Democratic phone list

          1. Enough About Palin

            I once had a guy piss me off in a business situation. I ordered his shit-ton of various catalog lists and went to: First name, Last name, Cretan.

        2. KibbledKristen

          I suspect it was the woman my ex was cheating on me with. She had access to his text messages, and I had probably sent him some libertarian memes. She used my phone # to do a lot of digging on me.

      2. Grumbletarian

        Same here. I’ve been invited via texts to all the Amy Klobuchar/Joe Biden/Bernie Sanders/etc. rallies in the southern NH area. Ugh.

    2. Sean

      Reply with a dick pic.

      1. Tonio

        Kinky! I like that.

      2. MikeS

        A mushroom-dick pic.

    3. commodious spittoon

      Ugh. I received a letter from some nonprofit outfit grading my voter turnout (“below average”) compared to my neighbors. They sent it to my mother’s house since I never updated my voter registration. Mom is, of course, nosy, and opened it. She blamed it on Republicans for some reason.

      1. Rhywun

        Now that my state is instituting “vote by mail”, I will never vote again. I look forward to laughing at such a letter some day.

    4. Chipwooder

      I’ve been getting irritatingly enthusiastic texts from some VA Dem group in recent months. I block them, but then I just get more from other numbers.

    5. Francisco d’Anconia

      Tell em’ you got them registered and they are planning on voting for Trump

      1. grrizzly

        Here. The best reply.

  18. Certified Public Asshat

    We cannot allow corporate America to continue to destroy journalism. When I am president we will tell the owners of @splinter_news, @SInow, @mcclatchy, @Gannett, and others that they must end their greed and respect their workers or face consequences. https://t.co/xO7Kd9Kkw9— Bernie Sanders (@BernieSanders) October 11, 2019

    1. Certified Public Asshat

      Private equity firms are sucking value out of our companies, putting people out of work, and wiping out newspapers and digital news outlets like @Splinter_News. I have a plan to hold these firms accountable. https://t.co/UxpLzyozU2— Elizabeth Warren (@ewarren) October 11, 2019

      Free speech anyone?

    2. KibbledKristen

      So he wants printed media to come to and end

      1. KibbledKristen

        *an

    3. “Tulsi Gabbard Apologist”

      Considering that such a policy would bankrupt the corporate press, I think I’m voting Bernie

      1. Mad Scientist

        Bernie will then tax you and give the money to the corporate press. Too important to fail, or some such nonsense.

        1. “Tulsi Gabbard Apologist”

          To be fair, though, he couldn’t make the NYT or WaPo any more like Pravda than they already are

    4. Rufus the Monocled

      YOU! STOP GREEDING! OR ELSE!

    5. Rufus the Monocled

      ‘WE CANNOT ALLOW’….something tells me with commie jerk offs like Grandpa Gulag that list would be verrrry long. Long like the breadlines.

      1. TARDIS

        Long breadlines aren’t so bad, at least they make the toilet paper lines shorter.

      2. Tonio

        A mineshaft gap?

        1. TARDIS

          Doh! I completely forgot about that. What a long way to go for the punch-line.

    6. Scruffy Nerfherder

      Please, unionize splinter. I can’t think of a media outfit that deserves it more.

      1. “Tulsi Gabbard Apologist”

        Looking forward to American newspapers moving their operations to China.

      2. Certified Public Asshat

        They did, it didn’t help since they folded yesterday.

    7. Ayn Random Variation

      We have to get corporate money out of politics, and I have a Trillion dollar plan to do just that!

    8. one true athena

      Didn’t Splinter just announce their bankruptcy/closure? So yeah, Bernie, good luck with that.

  19. KibbledKristen

    Finally gonna hit the range tomorrow…pew pew!!

    1. TARDIS

      As long as you go inside first.

    1. KibbledKristen

      Oh for fuck’s sake

    2. Chipwooder

      What the fuck is with all the protestors dancing in awkward, spasmodic ways? I’ve seen a bunch of videos like this from different events lately. Why exactly to they think a bunch of people dancing like Elaine Benes would win over converts to their cause?

      1. CPRM

        They’re just there to party. The dancing sucks because they suck at dancing. Has nothing to do with ‘the cause’.

      2. Fourscore

        Had to laugh. Lots like a bunch of old people emulating what they believe kids are doing today. Must say though, they’ve got it down fairly well.

        /looks for dancing shoes

    3. Scruffy Nerfherder

      That is some seriously white stuff

    4. pistoffnick

      Downstaters. *sigh* I think there is something in the water down there.

    5. Jarflax

      The NAP is so inconvenient sometimes. Can’t even spray bear mace at those people.

      1. Tundra

        Don’t need to. I could have dispersed them with a handful of Weber kettle grills and some juicy steaks.

  20. Count Potato

    “When should you start talking to your kids about race, religion and social class?

    At six months, experts say.”

    https://twitter.com/NPR/status/1181705957530914817

    https://www.npr.org/2019/10/08/767205198/the-things-parents-dont-talk-about-with-their-kids-but-should

    1. Tonio

      “What the fuck is wrong with you people?” -Kmele

      1. “Tulsi Gabbard Apologist”

        That fits well

    2. Chipwooder

      In one study, infants as young as six months old showed a preference for members of their own race and against those of different races.

      Antifa to start attacking infants now, screaming “GET OFF OUR STREETS NAZI SCUM” into strollers.

      1. JaimeRoberto: Gentleman, Scholar, French Tickler

        They’ll start eating them.

    3. Rufus the Monocled

      They want people to psych. abuse their kids.

      We NEVER did stupid shit like that. You just lead by example and correct where you see a problem.

      ASSHOLES.

    4. Rufus the Monocled

      I truly have come to hate this phrase seen on the thread: Disappointed at how ‘close minded’ people are.

      Why don’t you want to fuck you baby up for the cause? Why you being so close minded?

    5. Fourscore

      “Why All Parents Should Talk With Their Kids About Social Security”

  21. Derpetologist

    Some music to set the mood:

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3Fn36l_z3WY

    1. Derpetologist
  22. Florida Man

    I’m getting tired of second shift, because all I do lately is fix other people’s mistakes. Thankfully I leave for vacation tomorrow.

  23. The Late P Brooks

    So I got a text from a number not in my address book claiming to be from some Move On guy (WTF?) telling me that two of my neighbors (addresses supplied) were not registered to vote and could I get on that.

    The Ministry of Love needs your help, Citizen. Do not fail us.

    1. JaimeRoberto: Gentleman, Scholar, French Tickler

      Not creepy at all.

    2. Ayn Random Variation

      do you facebook?

  24. Ayn Random Variation

    what do you think of over 75 in the Red River Shootout? Oklahoma actually trying to play defense this year, but don’t see them stopping Ehrlinger, a QB with humongous balls.
    Nobody in the Big 12 is holding Hurts and company under 40 if they need to score for the full game.

  25. Update on my furnace:

    Me to contractor: It sounds like the yelping of a burning puppy.

    Contractor: Silence. Okay then…

    Contractor actually arrives.

    Me: It sounds like the yelping of a burning puppy.

    Kicks on furnace. Puppy yelps.

    Contractor: That is shockingly accurate.

    1. Mad Scientist

      Why do you and your contractor both know what burning puppies sound like?

        1. commodious spittoon

          Now THAT is a risky click.

          1. I will never be able to top the genius that is HM’s Ricky Clicks™.

    2. Chipwooder

      Why do you keep puppies in your furnace?

      1. I don’t.

        Yet.

      2. TARDIS

        She’s cat person?

        1. *nods sagely*

    3. KibbledKristen

      Don’t mess with writers when it comes to descriptive language!

    1. Chipwooder

      My response to your 4:10 post above applies here as well.

  26. commodious spittoon

    San Francisco’s homelessness grift.

    The Coalition on Homelessness, which aggressively lobbied for the plan, opposes any intervention in homeless issues unless it will “provide housing and services.” Any police response to resident complaints about encampments, open drug use, or threatening behavior is denounced as “criminalization.” Coalition members attend meetings, protest so-called sweeps (cleaning out encampments), and verbally abuse anyone who doesn’t want massive shelters that function as havens for drug use and criminal activity to be built next to their residences.

    1. Rhywun

      Despite what homeless activists may claim or what self-reported data indicate, the majority of the homeless are there because they have a substance addiction or suffer psychological troubles (and very often both), not because they’re down on their luck.

      Nothing to add, really. Except I think the writer’s optimism that even a private organization is going to “fix” anything is probably overblown.

  27. To relieve you from the stress of having watched spasmodic dancing to corral climate change, I bring you 73-year-old Toni Basil. This usually perks me up, albeit not in the last few months.

    73.

    Heaven help me.

    1. Chipwooder

      I still can’t believe Cindy Wilson is 71 now. I’m not THAT old and I can remember when she was pretty got.

    2. Rhywun

      “Oh Mickey You’re So Fine” lady? She’s 73?!

      1. CPRM

        The video says 72, and the video was posted 3 years ago; so she must be 75 now.

        1. MikeS

          Look at the ‘Sconnie doing math and shit. Well done.

          1. Barbie sez “math is hard.”

      2. Yep.

        I feel old.

      3. Rhywun

        Wikipedia sez:

        The cheerleader uniform that she wore in the video was a redesigned version of the one she wore in high school.

        Heh, I bet. She would have been in her late 30s.

    3. Gender Traitor

      That is totally awesome. Not really your fault, but your post has sent me off on a Twyla Tharp kick.

  28. Count Potato

    Imagine being this asshole:

    “All I’m saying is that if you don’t vote, and a conservative gets elected, and I get shot because 1. no gun restrictions are created and 2. hate crimes against LGBTQ people increases, that’s on you.”

    https://twitter.com/ATStruckmann/status/1180203587038674944

    1. Jarflax

      Who is the real enemy of Gay people? The right who in some cases think they are sinners and wants to preach at them about why they should not be gay (and in other cases couldn’t care less)? Or the left that convinces them that if they don’t stay on the plantation slaving away for Team Blue they will be shot?

    2. Rhywun

      And?

    3. MikeS

      More importantly, how come gay women get their own word (lesbian, for those having trouble following) but gay guys are just “gay”?

    4. Ayn Random Variation

      there should be a list of every gun law that I can easily link to whenever somebody says there are no gun restrictions.

  29. Anyone want to beta test (check for typos, critique solvability, point out stupid mistakes) my latest Crossword puzzle? I have to type up the clues but should have a working demo tonight. You get a sneak peak but you also shoulder the blame for any errors come publication. Let me know and I’ll send you the link and password once It’s ready. lightbeeraintbeer (at) gmail (dot) com.

    1. MikeS

      YES!!!!

      1. Shit, I just found a big fuck up. I got to rework an entire section, may not get it to you tonight but when it’s ready I’ll hit you up.

        1. MikeS

          10-4

          1. commodious spittoon

            I was told there would be no math.

          2. Fixed it, sending dick pix link and password your way.

          3. MikeS

            Got it. I would be in already, but I keep screwing up the password.

          4. Yeah, sorry about that but security is my first, second, third, and forth priority.

      2. Fourscore

        Got snow?

        1. MikeS

          Yeah. The wind is blowing very hard so it’s hard to say how much. Somewhere around 8-10. Supposed to be another foot coming. It’s very wet and heavy. Badly bending a lot of tree branches.

          1. Fourscore

            Good luck and hope there’s no tree damage. Stay warm, keep the power going

          2. MikeS

            keep the power going

            This is what I’m worried about.

          3. Jarflax

            Orphans + bicycle generators

          4. Spudalicious

            Stay safe.

          5. Count Potato

            +1

          6. Tundra

            Yikes!

            Good luck, man. At least the booze won’t freeze, eh?

          7. MikeS

            I’m trying to get rid of all the beer first, just in case. Then on to the whiskey.

          8. DEG

            Good luck.

          9. Stay safe! I can’t bear to lose my favorite Steely Dan fan.

    2. Sean

      Man, that last one was tough. I got to ~80% complete and had to get back to work.

      1. Don’t give up, you can do it. *insert Peter Gabriel video or Rob Schneider Gif depending on mood*

    3. Gerry Rigg

      Just curious, do you imagine you’d ever be able to do a cryptic?

      1. The Puny anagram limey things? Sure, probably, they have very few crosses compared to a real ‘Murica style puzzle, they are almost entirely about clever cluing and while that’s a skill like any other, the challenge in real crosswords is making everything fit without resorting to too many abbreviations or obscure clues or crosswordese. Different animals but i’d say Cryptics are easier to construct maybe harder to clue well but tweaking clues seems easier than tweaking fills.

  30. Ozymandias

    OT: Boy the NCAA sure is all about helping student athletes, eh? Just a wonderful and just 501(c) right there.
    https://www.foxnews.com/sports/mary-hardin-baylor-penalized-vacate-national-title

    The Division III school, based in Belton, Texas, was forced to vacate its title and wins in which ineligible players played in games because the head coach let a player use his car for more than 18 months.

    Mary Hardin-Baylor head coach Pete Frendenburg loaned a player his 2006 Subaru for the two seasons in question and then loaned it to a second player, but the car broke down and had to be towed.

    Frendenburg said he “unintentionally” broke the rules. He had already been suspended by the school for three months without pay and sat out the first three games of the 2018 season due to the violation.

    1. Ozymandias

      So some empathetic Div 3 coach let a couple of players use his old beater, which eventually shit the bed, got suspended for that, and now the NCAA decided to take away a bunch of wins and nat’l titles. Over use of a car. Seems perfectly cromulent for the NCAA.

      1. Tundra

        “Lightweight!”

        / Rick Pitino

        1. Ozymandias

          I’m thinking about what I’ve seen at real Sportsball Universities around the country… I mean, these guys aren’t even pikers compared to Free Shoes University and many others, but… I mean, who at the NCAA thinks to themselves, “Oh, yes, this is a righteous outcome.” Fuck those people. My God that organization is corrupt and worse than worthless.

          1. Jarflax

            The big schools are actually cheating so they know enough to cover up. This poor slob thought he was being a decent human being. Bureaucrats are slime.

    2. MikeS

      In addition to the vacated wins, the football program will be placed on probation for two years, will need enhanced compliance training and will have to pay a $2,500 fine.

      There is soooo much wrong here. So this coach loses out on pay. For being a nice guy. And the school has to pay a fine? That’s tax dollars being sent to some corrupt organization because a coach loaned two players his 10 year old car. The NCAA needs to be disbanded post-haste. Couldn’t the government break it up under some sort of anti-trust bullshit?

      1. Fourscore

        MH-B, my alma mater (and Mrs Fourscore’s as well) finally gets in trouble. At least there was no alcohol or dancing involved. Yea, finally made the big time

        1. Don Escaped Texas

          I still get tickled at recalling every time the Girls of the SWC edition of Playboy came out, somebody would get excommunicated dismissed at Waco for showing her wares.

    3. Don Escaped Texas

      I’m not sticking up for any particular NCAA rule or decision or public colleges at all (though that’s not relevant here) but

      The idea of having common rules for various sports and the student-athletes in them is an obvious need. College sports are traditionally amateur matters played by intellectually competent guys who have recently completed high school. The universities getting together and agreeing as to how that is all managed is going have issues across the thousands of agendas, but the NCAA is what everyone agrees on. None of that is necessarily bad.

      The NCAA is like doG in that if it didn’t exist, we’d hafta create it. The schools aren’t interested in no-holds-barred athletics, or going semi-pro or whatever, so they need something. Otherwise coach A has one set of house rules and recruiting opportunities which makes for uneven playing fields.

      The schools sticking to the rules they like seems okay to me. And people who don’t like those rules going somewhere else to play or starting their own leagues is also fine.

      1. Jarflax

        Justice requires judgment. Legalistic enforcement of rules with no regard for intent, effect or degree is not implicit in the existence of rules.

      2. MikeS

        A rules organization is one thing. An organization that has the power to arbitrarily sanction schools unless they change their suddenly offensive mascots is a completely different thing.

  31. Count Potato

    “BREAKING: Left-wing Fox News anchor Shepard Smith announces that he is resigning effective immediately”

    https://twitter.com/RealSaavedra/status/1182751986015330305

    1. Spudalicious

      I hope the door hit him in the ass on the way out.

    2. Tres Cool

      thicc ?

  32. Count Potato

    “Anti Trump protestors in Minnesota stole about 40 hats off the heads of Trump supporters & then lit them on fire ? at the Trump Rally

    They then left the ashes as a vigil against fascism, leaving a f*ck Trump sign on the top of the pile

    This is tolerance. This is the left”

    https://twitter.com/ElijahSchaffer/status/1182487357917990912

    1. MikeS

      And the comments are chock-full of people saying how awesome it was. Sad how ignorant they are.

      1. Viking1865

        Those that sow the wind, will reap the whirlwind.

    2. Rhywun

      “just some bad apples, nothing to see here”

  33. Chipwooder

    Submitted without comment

    Detroit Free Press

    @freep
    Elizabeth Warren’s pregnancy discrimination story is legit. I asked my mom. http://rssfeeds.freep.com/~/607681760/0/freep/home~Elizabeth-Warrens-pregnancy-discrimination-story-is-legit-I-asked-my-mom/

    ‘Evidence’ used to discredit Elizabeth Warren pregnancy story actually proves her point
    Democratic candidate Elizabeth Warren’s story about being fired because she was pregnant is the kind of thing that used to happen all the time.

    freep.com
    71
    1:44 PM – Oct 11, 2019

    1. Count Potato

      A video from 2007 (?) came out where Warren totally contradicted her pregnancy discrimination story.

      1. Viking1865

        Yeah they’re falling back on the standard “Reveals a larger truth” bullshit.

        I really love how someone dug up the actual minutes of the school board meeting. That’s some actual reporting.

      2. Jarflax

        She’s a politician. She was speaking. Of course she was lying!

  34. Tundra

    This week in “there is no magic bullet” news:

    Electric cars could be just another ecological disaster

    Here’s a fact you won’t read in any of the glossy brochures for electric cars: In countries that rely on natural gas for electricity, a sudden and dramatic increase in electric-vehicle usage could tip the world over into irreversible ecological disaster. Far from making the world cleaner, we will simply be transferring the pollution from the tailpipe to the power-plant chimney.

    Natural gas does have some advantages over oil and coal. According to the US National Energy Technology Laboratory, when burned in the most efficient, up-to-date power plants, gas emits between 50% and 60% less carbon dioxide than a comparable coal-fired plant.

    But the Union of Concerned Scientists says emissions are not the whole story. Extracting and transporting natural gas releases significant amounts of methane, a component of natural gas that is 86 times more efficient than carbon dioxide at trapping heat over a 20-year period. In short, it’s not certain that natural gas emits less greenhouse gas than coal and oil, so adopting the electric car en masse could be a terrible and irreversible mistake.

    That’s speculation, of course, but I think this is accurate:

    The environmental ramifications of widespread electric-car use are largely unknown. The costs of gasoline consumption, on the other hand, are predictable and can be mitigated by improving efficiency and developing green travel policies, including taxation, car-sharing and the expansion of public transport.

    Until our power comes from renewables, this could be the safest road ahead. Embracing electric cars may salve our conscience, but ditching the devil we know for the one we don’t yet understand could be a well-intentioned move that backfires badly.

    1. Certified Public Asshat

      UAW agrees.

  35. Derpetologist

    AOC imagines her future:

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VaGNO_y5YYA

    [anguished Zoidberg groan]

    1. MikeS

      “That’s why, when I am president [this got some chuckles], my first action in office will be to rename the Bill of Rights the Bill of Wrongs.”

      LOL

  36. Rhywun

    Interesting take on the attempt to git Trump on his tax returns. TL;DR: it’s bullshit.

  37. DEG

    “Although I understand that I served at the pleasure of the President, I was nevertheless incredulous that the US government chose to remove an ambassador based, as best as I can tell, on unfounded and false claims by people with clearly questionable motives.”

    So you didn’t understand. Got it.

    A British stabbing spree Friday — in which a man in his 40s attacked numerous pedestrians in a shopping center before he was subdued by police — is believed to be an act of terrorism, officials said.

    The suspect was a Brexit supporter?

    Some Maibock for tonight. I’m on the fence about having a second beer later tonight.

    1. Spudalicious

      You’d let the first beer just sit there? All alone by itself?

      1. Jarflax

        The beer wants to grow up and hang with the bigboys! Have a scotch.

        1. Spudalicious

          ^^^^

  38. DEG

    A new wikipedia article on Unconstitutional Constitutional Amendments.

    I understand one of the supporter’s concerns: That an amendment might turn a constitution into an unworkable mess, but on the other hand, a) at some point you have to assume people know what they are doing (HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!) and b) isn’t one of the points of making the amendment process hard to allow for vetting of proposals?

    It looks to me like just another attempt to give the judiciary more ability to re-write legislation at their whim.

    1. Gadfly

      As a general rule I agree that this is a ridiculous idea to give the judiciary complete control of the country, but on the other hand there are actually a couple of amendments to the US Constitution that are specifically prohibited from happening, and therefor would be technically unconstitutional amendments. From Article V:

      Provided that no Amendment which may be made prior to the Year One thousand eight hundred and eight shall in any Manner affect the first and fourth Clauses in the Ninth Section of the first Article; and that no State, without its Consent, shall be deprived of its equal Suffrage in the Senate.

  39. Count Potato

    “Believe pregnant people. Trust pregnant people. Treat pregnant people with respect.”

    https://twitter.com/TeamWarren/status/1182106708220534787

    Then kill the baby?

    1. Rhywun

      pregnant people

      Pregnant.

      People.

      I see what she did there.

    2. Gender Traitor

      From the Twatter comments:

      Outside My Purview
      ‏ @MyScabs
      52m52 minutes ago
      Replying to @TeamWarren

      Last year I identified as pregnant because my 40 year old beer gut made me feel alive and gave me purpose. I was treated with respect and dignity.

      1. Yusef Adama

        LOL

  40. Ed Wuncler

    OT but in a good way:

    I’ve been away for a week or so but I’m proud to announce the birth of my daughter on October 3rd. She was a healthy 8lbs and 7oz and my the labor took about 3 and jalf hours. It’s been a difficult week but I can’t stop looking at her and so happy she’s here.

    1. Jarflax

      Congratulations!

      my the labor

      Transavatared?

      1. Ed Wuncler

        LOL. Meant to say my wife’s labor. All I did was watch.

        1. Tundra

          No one except the doc thought it was funny when I got down into a catcher’s stance.

    2. Yusef Adama

      Awesome! Girls are fun to raise, for a while,

    3. Raven Nation

      *Thunderous applause*

    4. DEG

      Congratulations!

    5. Rhywun

      Congrats!

    6. Spudalicious

      Wahoo! Awesome news!

    7. Sean

      Mazel tov

    8. Tundra

      That’s awesome, Ed!

      I’m really happy for you and Mrs. Wuncler and I’m really, really happy everyone is well.

      Enjoy every minute of it, brother.

    9. Congratulations!!!

      A wee lassie. Awwww.

    10. Fourscore

      And Mom and little Miss Wuncler doing well. Its a wonderful world…

      Congrats, Big Dad and your wife

    11. Count Potato

      Congrats!

    12. MikeS

      Yay! More Glib offspring!

  41. Yusef Adama

    I bought a Sport kite, 6 foot span, and I can’t fly it because the wind is too High! I need 15/25 Max and right now the Santa Ana are pushing 27, down from 50, but I WANNA FLY!!
    maybe tomorrow, or right before Sundown, Fucking hobbies….

    1. Spudalicious

      I used to love flying kites.

      1. Yusef Adama

        these things are spooky, lift you off the the ground style, 2 line control, with provisions for 4 line, which is incredible for flying.
        Parafoils are way cool,

        1. Jarflax

          Mossad Report:

          Code Name Yusef Adama
          Seen with tools, pressurized tanks and now a heavy lift kite

          1. Yusef Adama

            ALOHA SNACKBAR!!!

          2. Sean

            Red flag!

          3. Yusef Adama

            That’s the problem, Red Flag on the wind,

          4. Yusef Adama

            Imma do an article, these new fangled kite are worth it,

          5. Jarflax

            I need to write something, but nothing pops to mind.

          6. Yusef Adama

            Write about what you know, or what you do, life is different for us all, and the Glibs love new stories, go for it!

          7. Jarflax

            What I do is boring. I have to get interested or I won’t finish an article. Something will strike me.

          8. R C Dean

            Origin stories are a thing around here, you know.

          9. Jarflax

            Nothing really dramatic there. Raised conservative with strong So Con strain. Lost religion, read Rand, grew up and decided compassion was in fact a virtue, decided what how or why someone has sex didn’t matter to me unless I wanted to be the who, and since I was already a smartass became glib.

            Sorry I know this sounded like a request for suggestions, but something has to catch me to get past my innate laziness. I’ll have an idea (actually I have one, but it is more in the line of a regular feature idea, needs more thought to come up with a good approach, and like I said I am lazy and giving myself a new weekly task has alarm bells going off)

          10. R C Dean

            Doesn’t have to be weekly. I’m random, and Allah knows I don’t put that much work into them.