Friday Morning Tinky Winky Linky

OK, so the hallucinogens haven’t worn off yet. And I have to go back to work today. And it’s cooler than normal, 105°. So don’t tell me it’s a good morning. Well, the one good thing is that the news is still pretty entertaining.

But before that, birthdays. A guy who would be president if he were still alive; the original #metoo girl; one of my scientific heroes; a baseballer with the delightful nickname of “Clank”; and the greatest cartoonist of our generation.

 

The irony, it burns!

 

Actual rising problem or increase in snowflake percentage? 

 

Surprise, surprise, a grifter continues to grift.

 

“Nobody was jerking off in my movies, and if they were, they were in real trouble.”

 

This will definitely impact his ability to stuff the run.

 

I’m not saying it’s aliens…

 

Common-sense plasma control laws are needed.

 

Ahhh, Chicago!

 

Old Guy Music is old guy Paul Cebar, whom I habitually describe as “The Compleat Musician.” He works in just about every genre, and here’s his funky side.

Comments

391 responses to “Friday Morning Tinky Winky Linky”

  1. Ahhh, Chicago!

    See, just the word “Gun” is a killing word.

    1. Festus

      Nerds. We’re just a fucking “Snicker” of nerds…

    2. Pope Jimbo

      Isn’t the Navy Pier close to Smollet country?

      I can see how people would fear for their lives there.

      1. AlmightyJB

        Was planning on checking that out in a couple weeks when I’m in Chicago. Won’t be there at night though.

      2. leon

        “Smollet country”

        That’s MAGA country to you.

        1. Cacciatore

          +1 subway sandwich

  2. Scruffy Nerfherder

    And that’s what he wanted to do. He wanted to be Godzilla. Well, he wanted to be Elizabeth Taylor and Godzilla put together.

    LOL

  3. Festus

    Tele-Tubbies, all you need to know – https://youtu.be/D0fj4hvPgig

    1. Tonio

      I had forgotten how thoroughly obnoxious they were.

      1. Festus

        If I had watched that show when I was in my druggy days I wouldn’t be commenting here. I’d be living in a padded cell and getting fed through a tube because they removed my teeth.

  4. Scruffy Nerfherder

    One person is in custody after several people were stabbed Thursday inside a plasma center in Petersburg, Virginia

    I thought that’s what they did there.

    1. Festus

      “Gonna start stabbin’ Boss.” “Ayuh” “Pullin’ out my blade now, Boss.” “Ayuh” “Gettin’ some blood now, Boss.”

      1. leon

        Clamps!!

    2. The assailant wasn’t following designated procedures though.

    3. Tonio

      Well-played.

  5. leon

    Fourth of July is a White Supremacist Holiday. Slaves would have been freed sooner if they didn’t win the war.

    1. Scruffy Nerfherder

      Probably just would have delayed the freeing of the slaves by the Brits.

      1. leon

        No. I’m pretty sure history would have proceeded exactly the same if you just changed that minor tidbit of the American Revolution. It’s not like it became possible to free slaves because a large contingent of the Pro slavery population left.

        1. So, we’d have had a war in 1832 instead?

        2. Tonio

          People always assume that if you changed “that one little thing” that everything else would unfold exactly the same as it did in our timeline. A world where the UK subjugated the colonists would be different in many ways. For example, a UK that was determined to hold on to her North American colonies at all costs might also be a UK that wouldn’t discover a conscience about slavery until far later.

          1. Festus

            Judging by the Empire’s treatment of the Sub-Continent they never really did.

          2. leon

            There are a couple interesting things. 1. Britain continued to do a lot of trade with the southern states. 2. People don’t get mad at other countries for not invading the states and freeing the slaves, but suggesting that the US should have let the south leave is verboten.

          3. Not an Economist

            Britain actually considered weighing in on the side of the South during the American Civil War. There were people from the South hoping for Britain to actually send troops or ships to help.

          4. Tonio

            Zing. But subjugation is better than outright slavery.

          5. Festus

            “Bluidy Wogs!”

          6. Drake

            At the same time in the second half of the 19th Century, the British Navy made a very big commitment in the Mediterranean and Middle East to stop the Africa-to-Arabia slave trade that had been going on for a thousand years.

          7. Pope Jimbo

            People always assume that if you changed “that one little thing” that everything else would unfold exactly the same as it did in our timeline.

            If we’ve learned anything from climate scientists, it is the fact that it is ridiculously easy to use a computer model to show what happens in a complex system when a single variable changes.

        3. Tejicano

          one point that seems impossible to bring up in the current political climate is the vast number of Union soldiers who literally gave their lives to free the slaves. I am not pretending that all of them (and probably not even a majority) were staunch abolitionists, and I know the main reason the North went to war was to bring the South back more than to free any slaves. But there is no denying that there was a strong political climate in the North which supported abolition and many a man did take up arms for that reason. To ignore their ultimate sacrifice is both ignorant and a transgression.

          1. Atanarjuat

            ignorant and a transgression

            NEOCONFEDERATE

            I bet you don’t even think their descendents should be forced to pay reparations.

          2. Heroic Mulatto

            ^This^

          3. C’mon, the Civil War was, like, over 100 years ago. All those guys would be dead by now anyways.

          4. Festus

            “Bless your heart! Now let’s not have anymore talk of the recent unpleasantness”

          5. DEG

            And they spoke a language nobody understands!

          6. Drake

            I bring it up all the time.

            “A million and a half dead Americans (almost all White) in the 1860’s wasn’t enough?”

          7. Tonio

            That is a really good point, Drake.

          8. Tejicano

            I don’t really get the distinction between deaths from disease or direct combat action. If you died because you chose to go fight (which happened to be) in conditions that resulted in your death – bullet or bacteria – you are dead because you chose to fight. Either way you are dead. Once you march off into a meat grinder it doesn’t really matter what causes the terminal state.

          9. Don Escaped Texas

            There’s no distinction.

            We’re just getting the totals correct.

          10. Don Escaped Texas

            1.5M ?

            looks like I’m going to learn something today

          11. Drake

            The numbers are kind of vague. Possibly more dead from disease than battles.

          12. DEG

            Possibly more dead from disease than battles.

            Yes, I think it is 600K dead from combat injuries.

          13. Don Escaped Texas

            620k includes disease

          14. leon

            I believe WWI was the first war (for the US) where more men died in action than from disease.

          15. Don Escaped Texas

            620k includes disease and rebels, I should have noted since we’re talking about sacrifices for abolition

  6. Raphael

    I am disturbed by the sudden Teletubby Invasion.

    1. Scruffy Nerfherder

      I, for one, welcome our new perverted plushie overlords.

    2. Festus

      “We must protect our Southern border!”

  7. Scruffy Nerfherder

    Letters to the Local Rag: I Didn’t Read It But I Sure Know What I’m Talking About

    The decision today from Chief Justice Roberts that the court should not get involved in cases that are politically motivated means the Supreme Court has no business in hearing or ruling on many issues, from gay rights to abortion, and almost 80% of other cases that habitually come before the court. So much for the theory of blind justice. Now it’s more like play by Mitch’s rules and everything is for sale.

    1. Raphael

      That is quite the erm…hot take as they call it.

    2. leon

      I’m guessing they got it parsed for them by Democratic Underground.

      Not making the decision I want is a political decision.

      1. Festus

        Emanations and penumbras.

    3. leon

      Reason had an article from the Vohlk Conspiracy that argues against the political question doctrine.

      I get it a little, but some of it seems like lawyers saying “Nothing should be outside our purview for review”

      1. Scruffy Nerfherder

        lawyers saying “Nothing should be outside our purview for review”

        That’s exactly what they’re saying. The courts and the bureaucracy (DOJ) want to retain the final say on everything. At least the SC has put some limits on it.

  8. Nephilium

    OMWC and Spud, I didn’t know you both went to Paris recently.

    Thieves have broken into the cellar of a luxury restaurant in Paris and made off with at least 150 bottles of prized wine estimated to be worth hundreds of thousands of euros, a police source said.

    1. leon

      It’s funny how one word can change the entire meaning of a passage. For example:

      “Thieves have broken into the cellar of a luxury restaurant in Paris and made off with at least 150 bottles of prized wine estimated to be worth hundreds of thousands of bolivars, a police source said”

      1. So like seventy-five cents?

        1. Atanarjuat

          What’s that in Turkish Lira?

          1. *shrug*

            Rule of thumb – only do business in countries whose prisons you’d be able to live in.

          2. MikeS

            Are you saying you have been in a Turkish prison, Joey?

          3. I can neither confirm or deny ever having been in the country of Turkey.

          4. Tejicano

            On the other hand, your proctologist says…

  9. Evan from Evansville

    The Fourth was pretty subdued, but that’s to be expected. Foreigner night out at the bars, but we didn’t stay late.

    I just got done with the last of my orders (online editing) but am moving on. I got paid, but it was a lot of work getting 40 tasks done in the month, especially with only two writers working underneath me. To get paid in full this month I would have to finish 60, and after that 80/month. They didn’t accept my probationary period, so I won’t be moving forwards as neither of us see a future together.

    It’s a paper mill for Eastern European college students, so I also had some ethical issues. I’m debt-free and have this month’s rent paid for and easily enough for August’s. I wrapped up all my shit today and on Monday I’m going to start looking for reliable online/freelance writing and editing projects. I have a stopgap in place but it’s not the most reliable source for regular work in the world.

    Time to move on. If anyone has any leads I’d love to hear them. It’s time to search for a gig, and I really don’t want to go back to teaching.

    Happy Independence Day, all. Don’t Tread on Me.

    1. Tonio

      Good luck.

    2. Raphael

      Sorry, good sir. I got no leads, but I do wish you the best and good luck on your next venture. Glad you are least okay on your rent and bills for now, but hope you can get that next gig soon.

    3. Festus

      Ah, that sucks. I’ve taken on contracts like that before. Tennessee Ernie Ford had a point, Brother… Chin up!

    4. Atanarjuat

      The Fourth was pretty subdued, but that’s to be expected. Foreigner night out at the bars, but we didn’t stay late.

      Would you say the holiday was cold as ice?

      1. Tejicano

        Or maybe in the new locale did it feel like the first time?

        1. leon

          I just hope people didn’t get too Hot Blooded during the celebrations.

          1. It’s clear that y’all aren’t woke, out there celebrating some dirty white boy holiday.

          2. Scruffy Nerfherder

            That was yesterday.

          3. Tejicano

            And a long, long way from home.

      2. Evan from Evansville

        It’s 90 degrees on a cool day here. I reject your joke and replace it with reality.

        1. Tejicano

          Are you saying you can’t use the sweaters you saved from your summers in Korea? Oh, wait…

    5. Pope Jimbo

      Sorry to hear that the gig didn’t work out. The bright side for you is that you have bills covered and no wife and kids to worry about. I’m sure a new better gig will crop up.

      Maybe you could blackmail all those Eastern Europeans who passed your work off as their own?

    6. Sensei

      Keep the faith. Perhaps you can find an English teaching gig where they actually value the teaching instead of the factories that seem so common.

    7. Drake

      Foreigner night out at the bars,

      Where you Hot Blooded or Cold as Ice?

      1. Drake

        I should have refreshed instead of Rev on the Redline.

        1. Tejicano

          I bet you don’t even know what love is.

          1. Drake

            I’ve been waiting – to find out.

    8. DEG

      Good luck!

  10. ‘I don’t see jeans in my future’: the people who wear complete historical dress – every day

    The Regency period was the last hurrah of men’s fun with fashion, when people could be loud with colour and exuberant. The jackets, cravats, trousers – all of it is just wonderful to wear. It’s comfortable, too, and since I make it all myself, it makes me proud to have it on. It’s also a great ice-breaker.

    My clothes take time and it’s all about learning to be slow, rather than buying into fast fashion, which is unethical and so removed from the production process. You are who you are and you have to get on with it; I feel very much at home in what I wear and how I wear it.

    I haven’t really had any backlash – people have been very inquisitive and polite to me. I don’t see jeans in my future. If anything, I see something more extreme.

    1. Scruffy Nerfherder

      I don’t really see it as any different from those who cover their body in tattoos or dress like dirty hippies. It’s a choice, although his is probably decidedly less pungent.

    2. Festus

      The young Dandy was mentioned a couple of days ago. I find him sorta ridiculous BUT he is making coin pursuing what he loves so more power to him.

    3. I’m permanently stuck in the 80s – what do I win?

      1. seventy-five cents of wine stolen from a bolivarian basement.

      2. Raphael

        You win these sick ass moves

      3. Hanging with my posse

        1. Festus

          No Mas! No mas!

      4. Tejicano

        And don’t forget the box set of Foreigner tunes!

      5. The Last American Hero

        A visit from Stacey and Clinton?

    4. Tejicano

      Japanese guys wearing traditional Japanese clothing – mostly reminiscent of 80 to 120 years ago – is becoming a thing. I see more guys dressed like that recently.

      1. Sensei

        That’s not the “Cool Japan” I think about.

        OTH, you do get to see young gals in yukata this time of year.

        1. Tejicano

          Well, I definitely am not holding my breath waiting to see one sporting a Chonmage.

          1. Sensei

            LOL!

  11. Evan from Evansville

    Also: To those of you bashing Bill Waterson are objectionably wrong. People actually criticized his artistic style? Did you see his Sunday strips with Spaceman Spiff, other aliens and his dinosaurs?

    It’t not even wrong. I forget who said it here first, but it’s 2+2=tomato.

    Along with Good Simpsons, C&H was hands down the most important artistic influence on me as a child. Absolutely brilliant characterization, writing and illustration. His artistic integrity and his adhesion to it is also a truly stunning and rare to see in this day and age.

    1. Nephilium

      I don’t think anyone had started bashing Mr. Watterson yet. To this day I’m annoyed I never stumbled across one of the books he surreptitiously signed in the local book stores. He stopped doing it when the book stores started checking all of his books after he had stopped in, and selling the autographed ones at a huge markup.

      1. Evan from Evansville

        I forget who they were, but all sorts of people (6+) were ragging on him hard. It was baffling.

        1. Not Adahn

          As one of those people, and one who owns every single C&H published in the US (including the goddamned 50lb. Andrews and McKeel edition) let me correct something.

          I will not bash B.W. I love his work. I was merely defending another great stripper cartoonist against the scurrilous attacks of a tasteless heathen philistine.

          To wit: If you can be impressed by the Spaceman Spiffs but not Breathed’s full-color covers then I’m thinking that there is something interfering with your judgment. Perhaps a tumor.

      2. Old Man With Candy

        They will. But they are objectively and massively wrong. Watterson has the drawing chops of a Walt Kelly, and material that (unlike Kelly’s) is timeless.

        1. Nephilium

          Not sure if you saw this, but there have been some new Watterson comics in the past couple of years. As well as a rare interview (and art) in the documentary Stripped (SFW).

          1. Evan from Evansville

            I mean no ill-will. I’ve never seen nor heard of Breathed.

          2. Not Adahn

            Since you’re only one Evan old, he was before your time I guess.

            Sorry about the potential employer turning out to be an asshole. Things still going well with the SA hottie?

          3. Evan from Evansville

            South African hottie (don’t dare call her black) is doing well teaching. I floated her financially for a couple of months. Now I need her help.

            Time to move on and create a new source of income. These are our salad days.

            Onwards. Upwards.

          4. Nephilium

            Bloom County is his most famous work. Some parts haven’t aged that well, others have become more entertaining in hindsight (such as Trump’s brain being put into Bill the Cat’s body).

        2. Not Adahn

          I’m calling [citation needed] on those draftsman chops. Not saying it’s not true, just I haven’t seen it, ESPECIALLY on anything approaching Kelley’s productivity scale.

          Also, just for you

    2. Festus

      Well he’s no Mobius but I’ll grant your objections.

  12. leon

    Re Mary Walcott:
    Born July 5, 1675, she was the daughter of Captain Jonathan Walcott (1639–1699), and his wife, Mary Sibley (or Sibly; 1644–1683), both of Salem, and was about seventeen years old when the allegations started in 1692. Her aunt, Mary (née Wolcott), the wife of Samuel Sibley (or Sibly; 1657–1708),

    Too many Marys in one family.

    1. Festus

      They had about seven names for girls back then, usually after Queens or other royalty.

  13. My life in sex: ‘At 70, I don’t think I’ve ever experienced such intense orgasms’

    Two years ago, my husband passed away. He was almost 90 when he died and we had been together for 45 years.

    We had great chemistry and I loved sex in my younger years, but while he never lost his enthusiasm, mine had diminished. This loss of interest was gradual. He was retired and I worked, which meant our timing was off and we were never in the mood at the same time. We were still in love to the end, but sex had become a very rare event.

    However, once he had gone, I began bringing up the memories of our sexual life together. In the early years, it had been wonderful. Eager to recapture those feelings, I purchased my first vibrator at 70, something I would have been embarrassed to do before now. It has given me a renewed pleasure in sex, and I find that I’m having more fun on my own than when I had an active sex life with a partner. I don’t think I’ve ever experienced such intense orgasms.

    1. leon

      Worst letter to the editor ever.

    2. I really can’t wait until people’s sex lives end up going back into the closet. Can we have a national conversation about the fact that nobody gives a shit about your sex life and we’re kinda sick of hearing about it?

      1. One of Dennis Miller’s best lines is “nothing is more interesting to me than my orgasm, and nothing is less interesting to me than your orgasm.”

      2. The Last American Hero

        Please, please, please email your response to the campaign staff of your least unfavorite politician.

    3. Scruffy Nerfherder

      Whatever you do, don’t look in granny’s purse.

      1. Pope Jimbo

        Euphemism (I hope)?

        1. Tejicano

          Definitely both!

    4. Rufus the Monocled

      Wanna know who and what makes for great vibrators?

      MUPPETS!

      1. Pope Jimbo

        FMBM doesn’t have the same ring as FUBU though.

    5. Breet Pharara

      I think We’re all missing the important question here. Is she thicc?

      1. Pope Jimbo

        1.5 KDR

        KDR = kilo Demi Rose

  14. Pope Jimbo

    I’d be interested to know how many of you ran across some version of this story in the runup to the 4th.

    I saw two examples, both of which were similar. The main idea is to interview current lefty black scholars about Frederick Douglass’ speech “What to the slave is the 4th of July”. Let them go on and on about how nothing has changed.

    What surprises me is that no one brings up the fact that Douglass gave that speech in 1852 when slavery was still going strong. After the Civil War though, I think Douglass’ outlook on what blacks should be doing in the US was very, very different.

    In a speech delivered on November 15, 1867, Douglass said: “A man’s rights rest in three boxes. The ballot box, jury box and the cartridge box. Let no man be kept from the ballot box because of his color. Let no woman be kept from the ballot box because of her sex.”

    That doesn’t sound like anything that the current grievance mongers would get behind.

    1. Festus

      Yeah, Kappernipples got roasted over the coals for that one. Isn’t he University edjumaceted and everything?

      1. Well, if he graduated recently, I don’t expect he knows anything about history other than “Merica Bad!”

        1. MikeS

          That’s ‘Murica you commie!

    2. Raphael

      I ran across Kaepernick’s tweet about the subject then the Cruz Missile came in and blew it the hell away.

      1. MikeS

        It was a real nice bitch-slapping.

    3. Not an Economist

      According to a very vocal group, life for blacks in America hasn’t changed much since 1852.

    4. A Leap at the Wheel

      I posted a link to that speech here a few days before the 4th.

      Shame on those history professors for getting the point of the speech wrong. I know its long, but you gotta read it all the way to the end.

      Fellow-citizens! there is no matter in respect to which, the people of the North have allowed themselves to be so ruinously imposed upon, as that of the pro-slavery character of the Constitution. In that instrument I hold there is neither warrant, license, nor sanction of the hateful thing; but, interpreted as it ought to be interpreted, the Constitution is a GLORIOUS LIBERTY DOCUMENT. Read its preamble, consider its purposes. Is slavery among them? Is it at the gateway? or is it in the temple? It is neither.

  15. Rufus the Monocled

    Last week I drove a friend’s Tesla SUV. 135K. I can see why people love it.

    1. How far until the battery died?

      1. Festus

        Doesn’t matter. Up here once the charge is spent, you just leave it on someone’s lawn and another one is sitting there ready to go just like the scooter idea in the States. See? Trudeau’s policies are really making a difference!

      2. Pope Jimbo

        Hah! You screwed up UCS.

        I’m assuming you meant this as a reply to the granny vibrator story?

        1. You make an ass out of you that way.

          1. MikeS

            …and me. No, I mean you!

    2. Sensei

      The Model 3 is roughly the size of BMW 3 series – much better balanced. And the instant torque never gets old.

      My favorite bit is the remote control for the HVAC. I commute by train so about two stops before my car I can turn the A/C on and get into a cool car.

      1. Drake

        Brother has one. It’s nice but really inconvenient. If it cost half as much I would consider.

        1. Sensei

          I won’t go that far. I’d say 25% cheaper and it would be a really easy sell.

          We have an Explorer as the family truckster. At this point I wouldn’t want to be an all electric family. But for our needs as a second car it works really well. I’m keeping my fingers crossed on the reliability.

          I wouldn’t want to drive across country in it, but you most certainly can. It will the do planning for you, but you’d need to plan.

          1. Drake

            *Looks up Tesla 2 pricing – Agrees.

            It offended the hell out of my brother when I said it, but to me that car looks almost exactly like a top-of-the-line Mazda 6 inside and out.

          2. Sensei

            That wouldn’t upset me! I actually like Mazda’s design language.

            At one point I had an RX-8.

            I’m just a car guy. I try to judge all cars on their merits. It’s hard to do because of the politics surrounding both Elon and electric cars. BTW – NJ has no sales tax on new electric sales and no inspection.

          3. R C Dean

            “But for our needs as a second car it works really well. I’m keeping my fingers crossed on the reliability.”

            Pretty much where I think electric cars have gotten to – a viable option for a second car. I could actually get by just fine with one, if our other car wasn’t going to be Mrs Dean’s modded FJ, which is not a good road trip car.

          4. Sensei

            As the supercharger network builds out they become a better choice for a primary vehicle.

            Also given the craze for CUVs I expect the Model Y to sell well. And it will give you the room most want without the price of the Model X.

            Problem is in the middle of the country the supercharger network still needs build out. Even here in NJ in the southern half the state it isn’t well built out. However, they are building out lots of stations. It appears they have a deal with Wawa – a regional gas a convenience chain.

  16. Scruffy Nerfherder

    Letters to the Local Rag: Whycome I Have to Pay?

    As I read the June 24 Daily Press article about a dog getting bitten by a snake in Virginia Beach and the difficulty the owner had with the after-hours vet’s office, I thought back to when I was in a similar, desperate situation with my Jack Russell terrier.

    The pit bull’s owner was told that no service would be rendered unless she paid $4,000 up front. As a dog owner, I can understand her anguish when she assumed that her dog would be allowed to die because she did not have this amount of money readily available.

    To say that I would have been shocked when presented with the bill would be an understatement.

    With most animal owners, their pets are a part of the family and any sacrifice financially to keep them healthy will be made. It appears that these emergency animal hospitals are aware of this fact and take full advantage of it. In my opinion, this is nothing less than holding an owner’s dog for ransom.

    1. leon

      “With most animal owners, their pets are a part of the family and any sacrifice financially to keep them healthy will be made. ”

      For all the talk of inequality, Middle Americans keep adopting the lifestyle habits of 1920’s rich eccentrics.

      1. Scruffy Nerfherder

        This

    2. Pope Jimbo

      Think of the alternative. You save the dog and after submitting the bill, the owner says that it is way too high and he can’t pay.

      You’d have to turn it over to a collections agency that would send an agent over to shoot the dog. I guess maybe you could get a cop to do it for free.

    3. Festus

      In my small city there must be nearly twenty Vet clinics. Did she bother to shop around?

    4. commodious spittoon

      “The good news is… it’s just a cat.”

    5. When our dog got bit by a snake, we got the bill after triage, but before discharge. Mainly because we had 3 options: put him down, cheaper treatment, or anti-venom treatment.

      NFW was I paying $4k for anti-venom for a stupid ankle biter mutt. It was enough of a compromise to pay $2k for the cheaper treatment (we were newlyweds and despite deciding on a soft $1k cap on vet expenses per animal/per incident, I was paying for our marriage to get off on the right foot) .

      1. leon

        “we were newlyweds and despite deciding on a soft $1k cap on vet expenses per animal/per incident, I was paying for our marriage to get off on the right foot”

        Hahaha. A happy marriage indeed means compromising on previously agreed standards

        1. The Last American Hero

          Kind of like the blowjob clause.

      2. slumbrew

        $4k? That’d be nice.

        2 TPLOs, mast-cell tumor removal, etc. Most expensive “free” dog ever.

        1. R C Dean

          I don’t do the math on what our dogs cost. No point.

        2. 1 TPLO, 2 foreign body removals,1 small tumor removal, 1 allergic reaction at a cabin that swelled her tongue up so much it was nearly choking her.

          Yes, I have a 5-figure investment in my dog.

  17. Police officer charged with abduction, sex assault of teen

    The U.S. attorney’s office told news outlets Wednesday the 21-year-old Oxen Hill, Maryland, man kidnapped the girl in December after she returned home from school. A news release says he forced the child into his car, handcuffed her, drove to an abandoned District house and raped her.

    It says the girl was later released and reported the attack to family. The officer’s DNA was found on the victim and a search of his car recovered the handcuffs. A protection order was issued against him in 2017 after he groped and tried to assault the girl.

    Authorities didn’t say what department the man worked for or if he was still employed.

    1. Festus

      21 is way too young to be a cop. I might get some push-back here but I don’t think anyone that age should have that much power over their fellow citizens. The military is a different ball of wax.

      1. My instantaneous thought as well.

    2. leon

      So… I take that as a yes. In these situations where cops protect their own, I could be persuaded to overlook vigilante justice.

  18. Scruffy Nerfherder

    Smokers to the front of the lines

    Most people will now need to be 21 to buy tobacco and nicotine products, although 18 is still the limit if they have a military ID. Meanwhile, a ban has been lifted to advertise happy hour drink prices.

    1. Scruffy Nerfherder

      Other gems from Virginia

      A package of new laws will reduce evictions by giving tenants more time to pay owed rent and fees, and they limit the number of legal actions a landlord may file.

      Landlords will also be required to provide a written rental agreement for tenants, something that was not necessary until July 1. (squatters unite!)

      Schools are now also required to allow a professional with experience in crime prevention to review all new or remodeled public school building construction plans.

      1. Pope Jimbo

        Schools are now also required to allow a professional with experience in crime prevention to review all new or remodeled public school building construction plans.

        I’d love to know the back story behind this one. Some school administrator must not have respected a cop’s authority.

        1. leon

          Or entreanching some security firm.

          1. Scruffy Nerfherder

            Retired cops with pensions need income too.

          2. Tonio

            ^This.

        2. Author’s B-I-L just happens the be a professional with experience in crime prevention!

    2. Pope Jimbo

      Am I insane for thinking that having to be 21 to buy smokes is stupid?

      1. Scruffy Nerfherder

        If you don’t like it, join the military.

        1. Pope Jimbo

          Some of the guys I met in the Marines enlisted for reasons that were at least as silly as for getting smokes.

          1. Tejicano

            Heck, so many of them are – at least in some part – influenced by the dress blue uniform. And while, yes it is the best looking uniform of all the services, when you’re just a broke-dick lance corporal with one or two ribbons it isn’t really all that great.

          2. Drake

            I was laughing hard during “Generation Kill” when they were talking about the Dungeons and Dragons commercial that enticed them to enlist – while driving around Iraq in a Huumvee getting shot at.

        2. blackjack

          Thought you were gonna say ” tell it to the marines”

    3. Rhywun

      although 18 is still the limit if they have a military ID

      I can’t even.

  19. Rufus the Monocled

    Here’s a proposal. If the Democrats want reparations, then registered Democrats should pay for it. After all, they’re the party of slavery, right? The Republican party wasn’t. Fair is fair.

    Right?

    RIGHT?

    1. Raphael

      Look man, the parties played Red Rover in the 70s, m’kay? All those icky plantation owners joined the rethuglikkkans.

      1. Festus

        Libertarians are the kids that succeeded in breaking through the lines.

        1. leon

          its Good when kids are accepting of those with social disabilities.

          1. Festus

            All elbows and knees. Like a whirling dervish, some might say.

      2. The Last American Hero

        Which totes explained why the Mississippi House changed to Team Red in 2015.

  20. In other news, Quebec is still French. I ate a croissant this morning, because, I figure, when in Rome…

    We’ll head out in a bit to a big lake up north of here for some fishing, but I foresee a possible problem. I bought all my lures and assorted tackle in the States, you see, and I’m worrked that they aren’t calibrated for Quebecois fish. Can I buy something French that would, oh, tickle a Frenchy fish’s fancy?

    1. Rufus the Monocled

      Enjoy the rain.

      1. Thunderstorms this morning, they say. I think. I don’t parlez-vou much Francais.

    2. Scruffy Nerfherder

      I hear the fish up there are partial to frogs.

    3. *Worried. Edit fairy?

      1. Don’t worrk, we’re not botherd by typoe

        1. MikeS

          Unless you dont use you’re apostrophe’s correctly.

          1. leon

            Its not a common issue round here.

    4. Not Adahn

      Rub the lures in poutine.

      1. Festus

        Visit Montreal strip clubs for “luck”.

        1. It took us two hours to get through Montreal last night. Montreal can go kick rocks.

  21. The Late P Brooks

    Did a noble patriotic American seize control of a tank and blow Trump’s reviewing stand up?

    1. Festus

      The sad part for me was that the rain showed up the bullet-proof glass in front of the podium. Was that always there or is this a new development in the age of Drumph?

      1. I’m sure it’s there for each inauguration.

  22. Scruffy Nerfherder

    Corruption in the Local GOP

    I’m familiar with the players (all politically connected) and the technology (which doesn’t work).

    A 61-acre property along the Elizabeth River may soon become a complex with technology straight out of the 1980s movie “Back to the Future.”

    The proposed facility promises to turn household garbage into diesel and wax much like how Doc Brown used trash to power the DeLorean time machine.

    The Hampton Roads Integrated BioEnergy Complex would turn materials like plastic and rubber into products used to make a water-resistant coating and cosmetics or a cleaner diesel fuel.

    This project used to be called RePower and the patents they were licensing had already failed on another project down south (Alabama or Louisiana). Every single one of the vested parties is politically connected and the original financial setup put the fiscal liability on the city and let the “investors” skate early with a portion of the invested money. It’s an absolute scam.

    1. Festus

      Happens everywhere. Up here there are about six families that have been pulling the strings for decades. You’re either in or you’re out. Nibbling along the edges might be acceptable.

    2. Nephilium

      The proposed facility promises to turn household garbage into diesel and wax much like how Doc Brown used trash to power the DeLorean time machine.

      You mean by using a fusion reactor? Which is nothing like diesel and wax?

      1. WHY DO YOU QUIBBLE WITH MY WITTY REFERENCES, READER? WITHOUT THEM, READING EACH OF MY COLUMNS WOULD BE A TERRIBLE SLOG!

  23. The Late P Brooks

    My internet went down on me, last night, and not in the good way.

    I was traumatized.

    1. Festus

      Mine went down for nearly a day last month and I felt naked and afraid. Then I did chores instead. Still sucked, though.

      1. This is hardly even a euphemism

        1. Festus

          I live to serve.

      2. STEVE SMITH ALWAYS NAKED BUT NEVER AFRAID

    2. mindyourbusiness

      Do you feel…used?

  24. The Late P Brooks

    The proposed facility promises to turn household garbage into diesel and wax much like how Doc Brown used trash to power the DeLorean time machine.

    Que?

    1. The author thinks biodeasel is like fusion.

    2. Suthenboy

      Morons. What is biodiesel? About 40 or 50 bucks per gallon?

      They have no idea what that means.

      1. Festus

        Better than that icky nuclear power that’s been keeping the Eastern Seaboard and most of Europe and Japan’s lights on, lo these many decades…

  25. Pope Jimbo

    Nothing left to cut in Minnesoda. Story about how our new governor is going to turn us into the new Silicon Valley by investing in technology and startups.

    Uffda. No idea how throwing another $40M down the “rural broadband” rathole is going to help tech startups, but it is in there.

    The only saving grace is that the state is going to waste money no matter what, so it might as well be in the technology sector and not in other more useless areas:

    Art Rolnick, a senior fellow at the U’s Humphrey School of Public Affairs who specializes in the economics of early childhood development, said the state would be far better off investing that money into targeted pre-K scholarships for low-income families.

    Rolnick did say targeting angel tax credits for those who invest in startups run by people of color and other underrepresented groups is a good idea since they might get passed over in the current market simply because of discrimination. “If there’s some evidence there isn’t enough going into this particular area of lending, I would concede that one,” he said. “But then I would put all the money into that. Because that is where the market failure would be.”

    I forgot to mention that half of the tax credits must go to businesses owned by minorities and women.

    1. Scruffy Nerfherder

      they might get passed over

      They MIGHT get passed over, MIGHT.

      WE MUST DO SOMETHING!

      1. Rhywun

        Setting some people up to fail is “something”. Progress!

    2. leon

      “I forgot to mention that half of the tax credits must go to businesses owned by minorities and women.”

      Is the other half earmarked for white men?

    3. Nephilium

      It could be worse. Feast your eyes upon Blockland!

    4. Drake

      What tech-billionaire wouldn’t want to winter in upstate Minnesota in return for a tax break?

  26. commodious spittoon

    A guy who would be president if he were still alive

    #circusworld

  27. The Late P Brooks

    Bushwacker

    Former Vice President Joe Biden in an interview that aired on Friday said that he was not prepared for Sen. Kamala Harris (D-Calif.) to attack him the way she did on racial issues during the first Democratic primary debate.

    “I was prepared for them to come after me, but I wasn’t prepared for the person coming at me the way she came at me,” Biden told CNN’s Chris Cuomo in an interview.

    ——–

    “I don’t have to atone. My record stands for itself. I’ve never been accused of anybody by my state or when I’ve been running as not being an overwhelming supporter of civil rights and civil liberties,” he said.

    The former vice president has been working to defend his past comments and policies on the race since the debates, which saw Harris get a boost in the polls.

    Whycome them no love I?

  28. Juvenile Bluster

    There were fireworks going off in my neighborhood until after midnight. There’s a limit, people.

    Meanwhile, I’m starting to agree with the conspiracy theory that the Democratic field in the primary is so awful that they’re going to bring Hillary back in because she’ll look good by comparison.

    1. Suthenboy

      Yeah, I agree. Since someone here floated that idea I am convinced she is going to come in at a late hour to save the day. And then she will lose again.

      *goes to buy a case of popcorn*

      1. Festus

        The CME might be your friend but seeing as how corn is a protected subsidy you’d better get in now because that baby is gonna go up, uP UP!

  29. The Late P Brooks

    they might get passed over in the current market simply because of discrimination.

    People who discriminate on the basis of competence are, like, the worst, man.

    1. Juvenile Bluster

      Saying you want to hire the best, most qualified person for a job is racist, y’know.

      1. Scruffy Nerfherder

        Meritocracy is evil.

    2. l0b0t

      But if one simply hires a Magical Negro as CEO, then all is well and those sweet tax-lucre stuffed contracts will be heading one’s way.

      1. Tonio

        In the defense contracting world there is a quite lucrative cottage industry where small/women/minority contractors partner with the big firms so that the big firm can get the diversity box checked on their bid review. Those small firms often have limited resources and end up shuffling paper, and trotting out a conspicuous minority for PR appearances with the client.

        1. Pope Jimbo

          Twins stadium.

          Two sisters from Ecuador (one of whom married a very wealthy local businessman) started a company that delivered electrical cables. They were awarded one of the big contracts for supplying the new Twins stadium solely because their company was owned by women of color.

          The entire company was about 5 clerical workers who simply bought the cables from shitlord companies and drop shipped it to the stadium. The women’s company simply added 5% to each purchase and passed the prices through. The contractors building the stadium told them what they needed and who to buy it from.

          At least that is what I heard from my old business partner who was part of the insider club here in Minneapolis.

          1. Festus

            Ha! Same up here. My Dad ran a contracting company through his new-wife who happened to belong to a protected class. Said member of the protected class never lifted a finger but the old man got all of the tax breaks and incentives. She of course got to waste the money. She fell back into bad habits, fell down and busted her head on a curb. My Father sure could pick’em!

  30. Scruffy Nerfherder

    I’m laughing over the media complaining about how much the Trumpian 4th of July celebration cost.

    1. Juvenile Bluster

      I’m in agreement that this cost too much, was fucking stupid, and shouldn’t have happened.

      That being said, I’m not going to listen to “this costs too much” from the same people who think debt doesn’t matter.

      1. Scruffy Nerfherder

        Dude, that parade could have paid for a couple thousand abortions.

    2. Sean

      Yeah, #metoo.

      It’s rather absurd. Just think how we could have spent it on illegal immigrants or shipped it off on a pallet to Iran.

    3. l0b0t

      Sigh… FedGov spends roughly $127,000.00 per second; every single second of every single minute of every single hour of every single day. Complaints about spending from those who are unwilling to slash and burn the entire FedGov budget fall on deaf ears.

  31. Suthenboy

    We took in this goddamned stray ridgeback a few months ago. He has always been a little nippy but never what I would call seriously dangerous so we hung on and tried to rehab the critter. We both developed a good bit of affection for him and I thought he was doing really well.
    This morning the other dogs started barking at some noise they heard outside and the ridgeback started getting a bit too excited so I decided he should go outside. I opened the back door and instructed him to go out. I did absolutely nothing to the dog other than give him a verbal command. The bastard jumped on me and bit me three times on the right arm. Serious bites with definite intent to harm. After I got him out and mopped up all of the blood I cleaned and bandaged my arm I notice the fucker probably caused a bit of nerve damage. The tips of my ring and pinky finger are numb.
    Fuck, I don’t know what to do about this dog. Before anyone says the obvious, no, I cant shoot him. I have developed too much affection for him to do that myself. Besides, I cant use my hand on a shovel. I have no idea who to call so I am in a bit of a quandary.
    I may be commenting light as typing is a bit difficult.

    1. Scruffy Nerfherder

      Sorry about that man.

    2. Sensei

      Damn. First off make sure you are really OK.

      Second, make sure to keep some perspective on the safety of the people in your house and your other animals too.

      But I don’t envy your decision here. Feel better!

      1. Not Adahn

        +1 on the make sure you’re really OK. Bites/punctures are one of those things where professional medical attention is advised.

    3. commodious spittoon

      Ditto Sensei on all counts.

      It’s courage on the cheap to tell another owner to shoot his dog, and I’m not terribly sentimental about pets to begin with. But if not for your own sake, then for your wife’s or grandkids’ or neighbors’, etc.

      1. Suthenboy

        I talked to our vet. We are gonna dope him so I can get him in the jeep and the vet will put him down.

        1. DEG

          Sorry.

        2. MikeS

          Damn. That’s tough Suthen. I’m sorry for all of you.

        3. Fatty Bolger

          Sorry man.

        4. Sean

          Sorry Suthen.

        5. Not Adahn

          My sympathies. That is far and away the words art of animal ownership. The first time I had to do that was the only time I’ve driven drunk, since I couldn’t do it sober.

          1. Cacciatore

            Worst for me was hatching chickens and having to take the ones born with deformities to the vet. Worse still when you’re not around and the healthy ones peck them to death.

        6. bacon-magic

          Sorry.

        7. Rufus the Monocled

          Sorry to hear all this.

          But you can’t have a dog attack its master.

        8. Mad Scientist

          I know that will hurt more than your arm does. Sorry, Suthen.

    4. Festus

      Yikes! Sorry about that, Friend. Once a dog bites his master it’s game over, Man. You know what you have to do but you need to think clearly about it. Call a vet, pay the bounty and have done with the situation. You and Wifey are getting on in years and this is unacceptable. Once again, I’m so sorry for this shitty situation.

      1. Tonio

        They will also cremate the remains for a small fee ($100 here), and return the ashes for a slightly larger fee.

        Sorry this happened. One of the few dogs who has ever scared me was a Ridgeback.

      2. R C Dean

        I’m with Festus. Can’t have that around the house, full stop.

        We had a pit mix rescue that was just never right and started attacking our other dog. Had him put down, so I’ve been there.

    5. Drake

      If you are committed to keeping him, you are committed to spending some real money on a good trainer and working with him every day on his behavior.

      Those are the choices – “former owner of a “sharp” bullmastiff*

    6. Tundra

      Christ, that’s scary! I hope you’re OK.

      No bigger fan of dogs than me, Suthen, but that’s a scary situation. Unless the dog was in some great pain at the time, turning on you is unacceptable.

      I’m not saying shoot him, but frank analysis must be done. An unpredictably violent pup is a huge liability, especially with little ones around.

      Sorry man, these are tough decisions.

    7. DEG

      Sorry.

    8. Semi-Spartan Dad

      I’m sorry Suthen. That’s a really shitty situation. Not wanting to shoot him is understandable. I’ve had to put down a dog in the country way before , and it’s not something I’ll ever do again if there’s any way around it.

      You’ve mentioned livestock around in your area before. Any local farm vet will come to your house with an injection. When one of my dogs got really sick and had to be put down, we brought in the farm vet to make it easier on her passing at home in her dog bed rather than on a steel table in an unfamiliar vet’s office.

    9. Not Adahn

      My sister had a half-wolf/half-ridgeback that she got with the full intention of putting down if is showed the slightest hint of defiance. However, it never did, probably because she (and I when she was moving and I fostered the beast for six months) spend hours every day working with it.

      Apparently I actually spent more time working/playing/petting the creature than her real owner did (I’d come home during my lunch break to throw frisbees for her) and she wound up liking me better) After my sister got her new place and reclaimed the dog it was a few years before I had the chance to go and visit. Her house was a split level with the front door/living room/kitchen on the upper story and the back door leading into the yard where Daisy was on the lower. When I walked into the house for the first time, Daisy jumped onto the back porch roof, then from there through the kitchen window to be reunited.

      1. MikeS

        Two things:

        1. I first read “half-woke/half-ridgeback and got confused.
        2. The last sentence is why dogs are the best ever.

        1. commodious spittoon

          If your dog exhibits the slightest sign of wokeness, put it down.

          1. Not Adahn

            Oddly enough, at the end of her life, Daisy developed allergies that were mitigated by switching to a vegetarian diet.

    10. My vet says “A dog bites, you put it down.”

      1. I had to put down a Golden Retriever rescue that bit a groomer.

  32. The Late P Brooks

    Reaching out to the underserved racist market

    Not everyone in the apparel business agrees with Nike, which dropped a new shoe design featuring an American flag as designed by Betsy Ross — prompted by a complaint from Colin Kaepernick, a Nike endorser and cultural activist.

    Nine Line Apparel, a veteran-owned apparel company based in Georgia, is striking back with a new line of T-shirts which display the Betsy Ross flag with much flair and patriotism.

    “Nike seeks profit through controversy, but with absolutely no regard for the consequences,” said retired Army Capt. Tyler Merritt, CEO of Nine Line.

    “In its corporatist wake, it leaves behind anti-American sentiment and division, harming our country,” Mr. Merritt said. “But since Nike has no interest in displaying the Betsy Ross flag, a classic symbol of freedom and unity, then we proudly will.”

    ——–

    “How far Nike has fallen?” he said. “It was once an iconic American company. Now it can’t even stomach associating itself with one of the greatest moments in our country’s history, when individuals of diverse backgrounds put differences aside to fight tyranny and secure liberty.

    What a bunch of Nazis.

  33. Juvenile Bluster

    Student activists in the US fuck over workers in China

    tl;dr: Nike/Adidas limit workers’ hours in China to satiate student activists in the US. Workers in China then quit, because they’re now not making enough money.

    1. Juvenile Bluster

      If someone chooses to work in a factory, she must see that as her best option. Taking away her best option without offering anything better makes her worse off. As Powell shows, prematurely raising of labor standards and wages by governments results in worse options for factory workers. In the early 1990s, Indonesia more than doubled the real value of its minimum wage in response to U.S. threats of trade restrictions—a policy pushed by U.S. student activists. This led to the closure of many manufacturing plants, and Indonesian employment fell by at least 12 and as much as 36 percent. Similarly, when Nike and Adidas limited working hours at Chinese supplier factories to ease the consciences of U.S. activists, “many workers quit, complaining that the overtime pay was no longer enough.” In South Africa, when government officials tried to shut down rural garment factories for failing to comply with minimum wage laws in 2010, “desperate clothing workers threatened to assault officials and burn their vehicles rather than lose their jobs.”

      (hit post comment too soon)

    2. commodious spittoon

      As Paul Krugman has eloquently put it, “Bad jobs at bad wages are better than no jobs at all.”

      If they can’t afford to pay their workers a living wage, they don’t deserve to be in business.

      (I guess the corollary is that if workers can’t earn better wages, they don’t deserve to be employed.)

      1. leon

        Yes,

    3. Rhywun

      “Student activists” wrong about everything. Film at 11.

  34. A Leap at the Wheel

    Hello All – I wasn’t online when the article posted yesterday because I was out doing 4th of July things (Buying meat at Wal-Mart. Feel the freedom.) But here’s a few answers to questions posed:

    MikeS – Yeah, he has no problem with .22. He shot his bolt action a lot a sweet little Henry after the incident.

    Pie – IQ is one of the more well studied psychometrics, and is highly correlated with lots of important life outcomes. The only people who think its bad science are the uninformed and those with an ax to grind.

    Caput – Yes, I’m also looking at 9mm carbines. Haven’t made any purchases yet, and that’s been something I’ve been looking at.

    AJB/Fourscore – Reloading does sound like a good hobby for him. Might be worth looking into. Thanks

    Hyperbole – We were using foamy in-ear plugs + 30+ dbl rated muffs. Transmission through the skull or (my guess) chest is still very noticeable.

    OneOut – While I’m never going to click on a link to cheesecake and wish it wasn’t a part of this website’s culture, I’m not expecting any special exemption from it.

    TimeLoose – Never heard of systematic auditory desensitization, but its just another name for Hormesis or progressive overload. We already have a plan of practicing it, and its nice to see its a “thing” I can talk to his doctor about. Thank you very, very much.

    Tundra – Yeah, we should find a time to head up to Secret Outdoor Range.

    KSuellington – He enjoys archery too.

    Suthenboy – Thanks, good idea.

    Akira – He’s been shooting air powered for years.

    robc- I will look into ABA therapy. Thanks!

    Warty – I’ve been practicing mindfulness meditation for about 2 decades, and have taught both of my kids how to. It is very, very helpful for him.

    HM – No, I haven’t noticed any problem with probabilistic learning with him. He’s been playing board games since before he could read, and his ability to manage probabilities has always been in line with what “kids from board game families” can do (which is pretty amazing if you’ve never seen board game families before.)

    Cy – I’m not quite free range, but I call our parenting style “Anti-helicopter.” Exposure to unpleasantness is a big part of that, properly managed. My family history of ‘pain’ and ‘trauma’ is not something I would wish on my worst enemy, but its not an excuse to improperly shelter my kids.

    Urthona – CHEMTRAILS CURE VACCINE INJURY

    Florida Man – Thanks, will do if I run into questions

    1. Tejicano

      LEAP – I also (being in a different time zone) didn’t have a chance to post on your thread in real time.

      Having two boys in grade school I really feel for your situation. My oldest has some behavioral “quirks” which I am mindful of because he is quite bright and that often brings social awkwardness – not the same as your son but as a parent I understand the situation.

      If you do look at getting a suppressor look at some of the new technology – specifically 3D printed inconel. Really amazing stuff. Also look into the possibility of the specific model you get working with different calibers. Some 30 caliber cans work well on 22 caliber firearms as well – so one suppressor can be used on multiple firearms.

      With higher pressure calibers you can get hearing damage by shooting with your mouth open. Sound pressure can travel down the shooter’s throat and back up the ear canals.

    2. Festus

      What a great site! All of this concern over a fellow Glib’s problem gives me hope and warms the cockles of my cold, dead heart. Fully 18 of your compatriots offered constructive advice regarding your problem. If that ain’t community I don’t know what is. Best of luck on the range issues, by the way.

    3. Drake

      I always made my kids double up on ears (plugs AND earmuffs) when shooting so they don’t end up half deaf like me. But yeah – you still feel the concussion from larger calibers. I suppose you could work up a tolerance or find the limits with a little forethought.

    4. MikeS

      I’m glad to hear he can still shoot his .22. I wasn’t sure from my reading if the big boom ruined him for all guns or not.

      I wish you the best in working with him on this. Even if it’s not something he truly ever gets over, at least he’s still got his .22. Wouldn’t be the hoped-for outcome, but glass half full…

  35. The Late P Brooks

    I’m laughing over the media complaining about how much the Trumpian 4th of July celebration cost.

    Stimulus! Multiplizer! Modern Monetary Theory!

    We should have stuff like that every week, throughout the land.

    1. Scruffy Nerfherder

      Perhaps the Trump parades could feature the military cosplaying as an alien invasion. That way we get stimulus on the destruction and the rebuild.

  36. John Waters is one of my favorite people. He’s one of the very few famous people I’d actually like to meet. A friend of mine who lives in Hampden runs into him on occasion at a local bar and he’s as nice as he could be.

    1. Old Man With Candy

      He’s been a hero of mine for at least the past 50 years. I met him once in California, and he was just as funny, witty, and engaging as you could imagine.

      SP’s favorite Waters line: “If you go home with someone and they don’t have books, don’t fuck them.”

      1. Cy

        LoL!

      2. Festus

        That’s a keeper!

      3. Nephilium

        He was quite entertaining as the host of the Burlesque Showcase at this year’s Viva Las Vegas as well.

      4. One of the things I really appreciate about Waters, at least based on the interviews I’ve seen with him, is that he seems like he’s just a down to Earth, pleasant, friendly guy with a ton of common sense who doesn’t take himself too seriously.

      5. I have audiobooks — do I just get a blowjob?

    2. DEG

      A former roommate of mine met Waters and asked Waters if he would autograph a copy of one of the JFK autopsy photos. Waters signed it, and my former roommate had it hanging up next to his bed.

      1. Old Man With Candy

        He was apparently impressed when I asked him if he’d ever release “The Diane Linkletter Story.”

  37. The Late P Brooks

    If someone chooses to work in a factory, she must see that as her best option. Taking away her best option without offering anything better makes her worse off.

    “That job sucks. I’d rather see you starve.”

  38. The Late P Brooks

    Gun control

    When a robber put down his gun to count the money he demanded, a quick-thinking employee at a fireworks stand in Texas did not waste time. The worker grabbed the gun and shot him.

    The man had walked up to the stand on Thursday and commanded two workers behind the counter to give him money, the Harris County Sheriff’s Office said. As the workers placed the cash on the counter, the suspect also put his weapon down to grab what he could.

    That’s when one worker grabbed the gun and shot him, Harris County Sheriff’s Deputy Eddie Hazel said.

    The man was shot in the face, according to CNN affiliate KTRK.

    I laughed. Does that make me a bad person?

    1. commodious spittoon

      No, murdering prostitutes is what makes you a bad person.

      Laughing about it is just good fun.

    2. leon

      Don’t count your money when you’re sitting at the table.

    3. Tejicano

      Now that’s the kind of stupid that requires consistent effort to attain.

      In some places the shop clerk might have just picked the gun up and thrown it far away. In others they might have just taken it and told the guy to leave. In places like Texas, Florida, or Arizona you are in the running for a Darwin award.

      1. I know I for one would have a hard time not vividly recalling that just moments prior that asshole was pointing the gun he just put down at my face and would likely react accordingly.

        1. Tejicano

          I would be sorely tempted to not utter – “Hah! I doubt it’s loaded – but let’s find out. BLAM BLAM BLAM… CLICK – OK, it’s not loaded now.”

    4. R C Dean

      This is kind of a questionable shooting. Once you have his gun, how is he still a deadly threat?

      1. Was he still within reach of the gun? How long between gaining control of the weapon and the shooting?

      2. Tejicano

        “If he didn’t want to get shot in the face why did he bring a gun?”

  39. I Had Plastic Surgery On My Labia. Here’s Why I Did It And What Happened After.

    I also recognize that being able to have this surgery required a lot of different kinds of privilege, including being cisgendered and economically advantaged enough to undergo it. But I hope our society is moving toward a place where this will soon no longer be the case. I want to live in a world where everyone has access to the medical help they need to live the least painful experience possible.

    As far as women wanting to alter their bodies for nonfunctional reasons, I do not believe choosing to get cosmetic surgery should be seen as “un-feminist” or morally wrong. However, I do believe there is something wrong with a world designed to make people, especially women, think that they are less valuable because of the way they look or that their bodies are projects in constant need of improvement.

    As it currently stands, too many women are made to feel pressure to go under the knife or radically alter their bodies in order to be accepted ― by their partners or by society in general ― and that kind of pressure and thinking can be hugely traumatic. We need to recognize and understand that there is beauty in diversity and find ways to celebrate different body types, including different shapes and sizes of genitalia.

    1. Festus

      Got tired of her Hubby calling her nethers “Slappy the Clown”?

    2. Rhywun

      Peak HuffPo?

    3. Tejicano

      If you would shut the fcuk up about it nobody (except the small handful of people you invite for a “showing”) would ever know and it isn’t their business.

      1. Festus

        “Puppetry of the Pudenda”?

    4. DEG

      I also recognize that being able to have this surgery required a lot of different kinds of privilege, including being cisgendered and economically advantaged enough to undergo it.

      I’m done. Stop the world.

      1. No, having the surgery means none of those things. Writing a sincere article for the Huffington Post about it in which you reference your cisgendered economic (presumably white) privilege does require a special kind of idiocy, however.

      2. (Robert Downey, Jr. Eyeroll GIF goes here)

    5. Pope Jimbo

      Is this author trying to shame a woman for being too lippy?

      1. Festus

        *piss flap*

    6. Old Man With Candy

      Allison Penner holds a B.A. from the University of Guelph’s Environmental Governance program. She is passionate about addressing climate change, issues from the perspective of intersectional feminism and most of all her cat Munchi.

      1. peachy rex

        That poor pussy.

      2. Not Adahn

        The guy that did our local NPR’s “analysis” of the “Four Freedoms” speech yesterday had a PhD from Cornell in “Modern European Intellectual History”

      3. Gustave Lytton

        So she thinks with her pussy? Got it.

    7. something something roast beef sandwiches

    8. NOBODY CARES ABOUT YOUR GENITALS OR YOUR SEX LIFE!!!!

      *stomps feet while leaving*

  40. We need to build a global statelessness movement

    Be they Rohingya of Myanmar, refugees fleeing Syria, minorities in Assam India, Dominicans of Haitian origin, single Nepalese mothers, those accused of terrorism in the UK, human rights defenders in Bahrain, or those languishing in camps at the American border; we repeatedly witness the denial of status, the right to a nationality and (risk of) statelessness as a consequence and cause of discrimination, exclusion and hardship.

    If the right to a nationality and inclusion were a house, it would be no exaggeration to say global politics and events have (again) lit a spark under its wooden foundation.

    Confronted with this reality, over a year ago, our Institute decided to organise a World Conference on Statelessness. This may appear a strange decision, considering the number of all-consuming emergencies globally, but our motivation stemmed from a sense that we cannot always be in reaction mode.

    We must confront the issue on the front foot, finding inclusive, creative and effective ways to promote the right to nationality. The conference brought together 300 activists, advocates, academics, artists and others from 60+ countries. One participant referred to it as the ‘A team’, not merely for the alliterative descriptors, but because of the commitment shown to come together and create something bigger and better than the sum of our parts.

    But what does this mean?

    1. commodious spittoon

      Seems like every single solution to every problem they highlight is always to invest more power in the totalitarian socialist left. Funny how it always works out that way.

    2. leon

      “the right to a nationality”

      You have the right to be enslaved!

    3. Scruffy Nerfherder

      It means all those nutjobs worried about black helicopters were right.

    4. Cy

      “Be they Rohingya of Myanmar, refugees fleeing Syria, minorities in Assam India, Dominicans of Haitian origin, single Nepalese mothers, those accused of terrorism in the UK, human rights defenders in Bahrain, or those languishing in camps at the American border; we repeatedly witness the denial of status, the right to a nationality”

      “We lost our wars, we deserve free shit!”

      1. Festus

        We already have refugees enough. They wander the streets between meals and lights out at the shelters. Our city is a magnet for them what with the Provincial jail (two years less a day) not quite a mile from the downtown core. We had forest fires that displaced the indigent in their towns so they came here and never left. The City’s solution seems to be build condos and brew pubs but make sure you include some green space for the misbegotten to shit comfortably.

    5. Rhywun

      those languishing in camps at the American border

      …are not stateless.

      That’s some Grade A word salad, Lou.

    6. Tejicano

      I’d love to get into organizing that movement. Get everybody who believes passionately about it to sign up and participate. Then bill them for the airfare for the refugee we are sending to live with them. “Here you go! You wanted to help so we have found a way for you to do just that.”

      1. commodious spittoon

        Government is simply the name we give to the things we choose to do to other people.

    7. tarran

      We must confront the issue on the front foot, finding inclusive, creative and effective ways to promote the right to nationality be enslaved

      I’ve fixed it for them.

    8. Gustave Lytton

      Yes, they are going their damnedest to build stateless numbers.

    9. Fatty Bolger

      That lumps together a lot of things that aren’t really related to each other. Discriminated minority populations war refugees illegal immigrants foreign criminal defendants political activists social discrimination.

      1. Fatty Bolger

        Let’s try that again: That lumps together a lot of things that aren’t really related to each other. Discriminated minority populations ≠ war refugees ≠ illegal immigrants ≠ foreign criminal defendants ≠ political activists ≠ social discrimination.

    10. R C Dean

      “We must confront the issue on the front foot, finding inclusive, creative and effective ways to promote the right to nationality.”

      Why do I think he (?) means there is some kind of right to the nationality (which must mean citizenship) of your choice, going way beyond even open borders?

      1. tarran

        These are socialists. The notion of having someone who isn’t incorporated into a nation-state fills them with horror.

  41. Tundra

    Nice Old Guy music this morning! I like his rhythm section. Drummer is solid but understated.

    1. Festus

      The most competent drummers always seem to play with a tiny kit.

      1. Tres Cool

        Neal Pert may like a word with you.

        1. Tres Cool

          DAMN!

          /Neil Peart

          1. Festus

            No worries, I’ve been a Rush nerd since 1976.

    2. Old Man With Candy

      Reggie Bordeaux. He is amazing to watch in person.

  42. DEG

    A sense of humor. Even all the big stars that I’ve used, you have a “meeting” where they’re looking and thinking, Is this guy gonna ruin my career? And I’m thinking, Is she gonna survive two months in Baltimore with me? And if they use the word journey, I don’t hire them. That’s the whole thing.

    I like Waters’ criteria for hiring an actor.

  43. The Late P Brooks

    We must confront the issue on the front foot, finding inclusive, creative and effective ways to promote the right to nationality. The conference brought together 300 activists, advocates, academics, artists and others from 60+ countries. One participant referred to it as the ‘A team’, not merely for the alliterative descriptors, but because of the commitment shown to come together and create something bigger and better than the sum of our parts.

    But what does this mean?

    “Give us money.”

    1. Scruffy Nerfherder

      “artists”

      They forgot to include instagram models and public intellectuals.

        1. Rhywun

          I like the cut of his jib.

        2. Putting up the sign isn’t illegal, but actually demanding different pay is.

          However,I get where he’s coming from.

    2. Festus

      No, “Give us some more money. Or else.”

  44. The Late P Brooks

    Something something tragedy, something something farce

    The board’s decision last week comes at a time when the legacies of Washington and other historical figures who owned slaves are being re-examined. Some cities have changed the names of streets and buildings named after slave owners.

    Richard Walker, a professor emeritus of geography at UC Berkeley and director of the history project Living New Deal, said the Washington mural is meant to show the “uncomfortable facts” about America’s first president. For that, it was among many New Deal works of art considered radical when created.

    “We on the left ought to welcome the honest portrayal,” Walker said, adding that destroying a piece of art “is the worst way we can deal with historic malfeasance, historic evils.”

    Mark Sanchez, vice president of the school board and a third-grade teacher, said students who must walk past the mural during the school day don’t have a choice about seeing the harmful images. “Painting it over represents not only a symbolic fresh start, but a real fresh start,” he said.

    Lope Yap Jr., vice president of the Washington High School Alumni Assn. and a 1970 graduate, disagreed, saying when he was a student and saw the mural he was “awed by the subtle ways Arnautoff was able to critique American history.” He said the depictions are “treasures, priceless art” and painting it over is tantamount to pretending the history depicted never happened.

    “I’m not into censorship,” Yap said. “I would want to deal with history so we can prevent this from ever happening again.”

    That’s crazy talk.

    1. leon

      ISIS only destroyed artwork made by horrible slavers and murderers.

    2. Rhywun

      The commie who painted it as an early example of woke critique must be spinning in his grave.

    3. Gustave Lytton

      “We on the left ought to welcome the honest portrayal,”

      …starting with FDR and the New Deal.

  45. Cy

    “What is man? He’s just a collection of chemicals with delusions of grandeur.”
    ― Ayn Rand, Atlas Shrugged

    1. Juvenile Bluster

      “What is a man? A miserable little pile of secrets!” – Dracula, Castlevania: Symphony of the Night

  46. The Late P Brooks

    Most of the $600,000 earmarked for the project will go toward a required environmental review and to cover expected legal challenges.

    California.

    1. Festus

      British Columbia. Don’t forget the archaeological study when you want to build a garden shed in your back yard.

    2. Rhywun

      Imagine how many diversity and inclusion administrators that money could buy! Sad.

  47. mindyourbusiness

    Democrat politicians screamed yesterday that Trump politicized the Fourth by making a speech and holding a massive parade. Even as every Dem candidate from Biden on down were out busy schmoozing celebrations for votes.
    Ah, Independence Day. I love the smell of gunpowder and hypocrisy in the morning…

    1. Festus

      I watched a portion of his speech. Aside from the usual pandering he never once referred to himself, his party or cast aspersions on the opposition. I thought it was pretty much anodyne, boiler-plate America Rah Rah that I’d expect from every President since FDR and the birth of mass media.

    2. DEG

      I wonder if any of them were pictured here or pictured here?

      1. Festus

        Tulsi is a firm “realistically-speaking” would. She’s no super model but she’s within the realm of possibilities were I a younger man without ethics or scruples.

  48. Drake

    South Carolina fireworks store burns. Leslie Nielsen should have been standing out front yelling “nothing to see here”.

  49. The Last American Hero

    Regarding the musical selection – those guys are what every middle aged, weekend warrior “blues” band thinks they are.

  50. The Late P Brooks

    Clean energy

    A seat fire, thought to have been caused by a portable battery pack, forced a Virgin Atlantic flight to make an emergency landing on Thursday night. The flight was on its way from New York’s JFK Airport to London Heathrow according to the Associated Press, but was forced to land at Boston’s Logan Airport after smoke and flames started emanating from a passenger seat. All 217 passengers onboard the flight were successfully evacuated.

    The fire was extinguished by the crew on board, and upon landing an investigation discovered wires protruding from the affected area. “A battery pack consistent in appearance with an external phone charger” was found between the cushions of the seat that ignited, according to police.

    It’s not yet clear exactly why the battery pack caught fire, but there are many aspects of modern lithium ion batteries that can make them a potential fire risk. Using an incompatible charger can drive too much current into a battery, defects can allow a battery to be overcharged, and batteries can start to smoke or even catch fire if they get too hot. Most battery packs include safety mechanisms to shut down a device if a problem is detected, but these safety measures can fail as we’ve seen with Samsung phones, Apple laptops, hoverboards, e-cigarettes, and just about anything else that’s battery-powered.

    If the battery pack was wedged in the seat as the police report suggests, it could have been subjected to enough heat and pressure to exacerbate the process of thermal runaway.

    Ban batteries. Terrorists might be watching.

    1. Not Adahn

      Require all devices with Li-ion batteries to be enclosed in a refrigerated safety unit. Require that the refrigerant be environmentally friendly ammonia.

      1. Don Escaped Texas

        Require that the refrigerant be

        battery-operated

      2. Sensei

        Rather humorous that the 787 had problems with its own Li-ion batteries overheating.

        They never actually found the root cause. They added fire protection and venting to the battery compartment.

  51. The Late P Brooks

    You’re a racist, so stop trying to pretend you’re not

    One way of separating out the effects of trade policy and overall cultural and demographic anxieties is to look at what happens over time, especially before and after the election of Barack Obama.

    After all, the China shock did not start in 2008 or 2012; it started at the beginning of the 21st century, and lasted through the entire Bush administration. Norland finds that racial diversity of an area become more associated with “a shift toward the Republican candidate” between 2012 and 2016 as opposed to between 2000 and 2016.

    “Diversity in and of itself seems to be proving and intensifying these reactions, and that occurs for the post-Obama cycle but not the longer cycle,” Noland told Vox. Thus, you find something rare for a working paper from an economics think tank: a citation to Ta-Nehisi Coates’s essay describing Trump as the “first white president.”

    While these results have an obvious attraction for the pro-trade, pro-globalization, pro-liberal, rules-based worldview articulated by institutions like Peterson, there’s a dark side to them as well, suggesting that the political backlash to open trade policies cannot be easily fixed with policy adjustments.

    “If it were just trade, then you would come up with technocratic worker adjustment solutions that would ameliorate these problems and reestablish some kind of consensus for open trade, which is a desirable thing overall, although some have been disadvantaged by developments,” Noland said. “This may not be the whole story. You can do all the trade adjustment assistance you want — it won’t address the underlying anxieties and concerns.”

    Whatever you do, whatever you say, it all boils down to racism.

    1. Drake

      Okay.

    2. Whenever I read or hear stuff like this all I can think of is that scene from Full Metal Jacket when Animal Mother is walking off with the hooker. You know the one.

      I think that might make me a bad person, but at least it’s funny.

    3. Rhywun

      I have no idea what any of that is supposed to be saying.

      1. Trigger Hippie

        Borderless grifting is moral and neccessary.

    1. Trigger Hippie

      ‘Having that many high value targets in one location is either incredibly stupid or incredibly smart, depending upon the goal. Since we know the Russians are definitely not the former, it is curious as to why that number of experienced Naval Officers would be in one spot.’

      That is a tasty bit of conspiracy fodder if I’ve ever seen one. I mean, surely that is SOP for a Russian sub chain of command. Then again, the US Navy has more admirals than ships:

      https://taskandpurpose.com/navy-admiral-ship-ratio

      1. Urthona

        I’ll bet they were demoing something.

        1. A fire suppression system?

          1. Urthona

            The opposite of that apparently.

          2. Don Escaped Texas

            don’t you even NFPA, bra?

            you gotta start a fire before you can put it out !

          3. Trigger Hippie

            Probably a social gathering for one of the Captain’s new homemade line of vodka roughly translated in English that reads Molotov Mishap.

        2. R C Dean

          I thought I saw something about testing a new drone system.

          1. Don Escaped Texas

            but are they unmanned drones? because our drones are unmanned: greatest in the world, our drones

    2. Urthona

      This should really be bigger news.

    3. Pope Jimbo

      Whoa. Will the Russians still have enough brass to run things? Or are they facing a Captain crunch?

      1. Not Adahn

        *applause*

        1. Pope Jimbo

          I expected Boo Berries that pun.

      2. Urthona

        Nice

      3. Festus

        Aye Aye!

      4. That joke hurt the roof of my mouth.

        1. Cacciatore

          +1

  52. Don Escaped Texas

    cops + drugs + Florida

    viral video channel In the NOW is circulating disturbing body camera footage of a Floria police officer planting drugs in a woman’s car and arresting her. Sheriff’s Deputy Zach Wester allegedly did the same to over 100 others, which led to at least 10 arrests

    1. Not Adahn

      He only managed arrests 10% of the time he planted drugs? That will probably be the reason he gets fired.

    2. leon

      I made an off hand joke once about cops planting marijuana on somebody and my cop friend said “oh you’re one of those people “

    3. Drake

      Wow, that will cost the taxpayers a lot.

  53. The Late P Brooks

    I talked to our vet. We are gonna dope him so I can get him in the jeep and the vet will put him down.

    That really really sucks, but it sounds like the right decision.

    1. Festus

      This makes me ponder pups and kittehs past. Think I’ll have another beer or ten.

    2. Suthenboy

      Yeah, it is. He can’t be trusted. The attack was completely unprovoked. He just gets excited and loses control. Up until now I have been able to calm him down but this time he went from 0 to 60 in the blink of an eye and went straight to attack mode. He has scratched me up a few times but I never got the impression he meant to harm. This time…not so much. It was a genuine attack with intent to harm. He’s gotta go. I cant cut him loose and I wouldn’t give him to anyone for fear he would hurt someone else.
      I will feed him well this weekend but keep him crated. Monday he will go play fetch with Hitler.

      1. Festus

        Sorry again, Suthen.

      2. tarran

        Man,

        I’m so sorry.

      3. R C Dean

        That’s rough. My sympathies.

  54. Not Adahn

    We may be in a time of decline wrt politics, morality, intellect, art, etc., but there’s not question in my mine we are in a Golden Age of manufacturing. Everything built by the hands of man is getting better (probably because less of it is being built by the hands of man). Adult toys are at a level never seen before. My grandfather built my father a shooting gallery plate rack, but he never considered something like these:

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WC2gQBsSqz4

  55. Pope Jimbo

    She sounds fun

    CLEARWATER, Fla. (WFLA) – Clearwater police say a woman was angry when her boyfriend wouldn’t fly her home to New York, so she charged more than $5,000 on his credit card, according to an affidavit.

    Police said Serina Wolfe, 24, of Buffalo, New York, and her boyfriend got into an argument because she wanted to buy a plane ticket using a credit card in his name.

    Wolfe’s boyfriend refused to do this and placed a hold on the card, but once it was removed on June 27, she made a $55.37 purchase at Clear Sky Cafe, 490 Mandalay Avenue, with a $5,000 tip, police said.

    1. Festus

      “Don’t Stick It In Crazy” should be taught right alongside the three R’s from kindergarten on.

      1. Lackadaisical

        Stupid to give his girlfriend his cc anyway.