Swiss was a bit tied up (those cheese holes won’t drill themselves), STEVE SMITH is… otherwise occupied, so I’m stepping in to give you people a place to rant, vent, and otherwise be horrible humans.
The only content I’ll put here is the single funniest thing Donald Trump has ever tweeted. And this one other Twatter link. And now you guys and gals can have at it.
Comments
464 responses to “Friday Night Open-ish Post”
For your bio how about “Wino & birth date aficionado”?
Here’s a pity comment. Sad.
Not “Sad!” with an exclamation point like Trump?
I’m no Trumpian.
Indeed not. You have TERF bangs.
Ha!
I thought a TERF bang is when… actually I don’t know what that would be. I don’t know the vocabulary well enough. A hate frick between a feminist and a MTW pre-op? Or a lesbian supremacist and her FTM ex? Some even more bizarre intersection thereof?
A really angry chick with blue hair doing a dude up the ass with a strap on.
Can’t we all just get along?
*looks for Trashy’s camera in our bedroom*
She turned them down? Seriously?
Yeah, I put that in this morning’s links.
The hell?
*goes back to am links*
Ahh. As an edit update. I apparently clicked the links before you added that.
A likely excuse.
“I apparently clicked the links”
Fake news. Nobody clicks the links.
That’s low class, even by contemporary political standards.
True, and, as ever with Trump, not terribly inaccurate.
Um…. have you seen video of Tlaib at Trump rallies before he won the election?
https://www.washingtonexaminer.com/news/watch-screaming-rashida-tlaib-physically-removed-from-2016-trump-event
I’d link to youtube, but for some crazy reason, I can seem to find it there.
Ladies and gentlemen, that is a congresswoman.
OK. I did find it on youtube, but I had to click through from a conservative website. It didn’t show up in a search, though they know EXACTLY what I was looking for.
Here is a person with power over you and I:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EI6Nmhz2PSY
Oh shit. For some reason I thought she was the one in The Squad from Massachusetts. Pressley is from MA, not Tlaib. Tlaib is from Michigan. Oops.
I think Rashida means Juggsy in Arabic. Surprised Q hasn’t linked that before.
Been having an actually nice and chill week so don’t got much to rant on. Will be doing some traveling this weekend, I’ll see if I can scrounge up some cool stuff for an article from it.
Excellent.
I just got back from a father-son trip (with my awesome 13 year old) to Costa Rica, I want to do a short thing on it, even though it’s a lot less exotic than the places the rest of y’all go.
Yes, please!
That’s cool, looking forward to it!
Yeah, I just got back from Itasca State Park in Minnesoda. Waaayyy more exotic than Costa Rica. 😉
I went to work.
Not exotic (if you exclude some of the more colorful pathogens).
“Been having an actually nice and chill week so don’t got much to rant on.”
I just was finishing up my 5th SSRS report this week. It’s not my primary job (as a software engineer), but I sort of enjoy it and sort of pride myself on being a master of T-SQL. So yeah, not a bad week, but considering the more high impact stuff I need to get done, also a distraction.
See, it’s not so terrible back here in the states.
Work has been busy this week, but I managed to get a bike ride in today, out to board game yesterday, plans to go to an art fest in the Flats tomorrow, and looking to do a 20 mile ride Sunday with a friend of mine.
You getting close to being back State-side?
That really is his funniest yet.
Funniest president ever? Even his Twitter bio (“45th President of the USA” or whatever) is designed to troll and piss off his haters.
I’ve been texting with bad idea guy and am so looking forward to tomorrow. He’s the first guy I’ve met online dating that gets my motor running.
Security clearance???
He says, he doesn’t smoke pot, just brought it back for friends. Yes, this is stupid. Again, I’m 50 and single. I don’t make good choices.
He is funny and has kind eyes and claims to think I’m pretty. I’m a sucker for that.
Uh-huh.
Am I going to have to use my admin privilege and email yell at you, young lady?
It won’t do any good
*sigh* Well, as an actual libertarian who wouldn’t even talk her own children out of bad decisions or interfere in their lives….
Leave her alone. You go make bad decisions Tulip, you only live once. Take pictures, write an article, Make “Glibs After Dark” a thing.
I agree. Taking risks and making mistakes is more fun. I’m probably more careful than anyone and I’m spending my Friday night here. You probably don’t want to be like me.
I will do an ethnography of men I didn’t date. I am protective of those who are decent to me. They don’t deserve to be made fun of
But, I haven’t removed my profile, so there’s still hope for me
“just brought it back for friends”
Uh-huh.
Hope you have fun. Seriously.
Yeah, that jumped out at me too.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Cm-LyRgTYe0
Congrats Tulip. First I’m hearing about it, but may I ask why he’s such a bad idea?
Have fun.
Drove pot back from Colorado for friends. Has multiple crappy vehicles and forgets to register all, so switches plates. All stuff I don’t think should be illegal, but could threaten my security clearance. Irresponsible dufus stuff. Exactly my type.
Driving it back I don’t think is that risky. Forgetting to register vehicles and swapping plates may be an issue (depending on state laws).
Security clearance risk could be very dangerous, especially if it’s needed for your job.
I’ve made worse decisions in my past love life though (and probably current), so I’m not sure I’m the best for advice.
So I’m not getting in a car with him. I always have to drive
Tulip: I was more referring to the fact it may indicate that there’s an issue with the vehicles, his license, or his cash-flow that prevents getting the vehicles properly registered. Or he could just be a scatterbrained guy who needs a strong woman to keep him on the right path.
Neph’s got a point. I nearly have a white trash used car lot outside, but all of my cars are registered and plated.
Not registering cars isn’t in itself a big deal. Switching plates can get you thrown in the police if the cop’s a big enough dick about it. Driving back pot in an unregistered car with switched plates is asking for trouble if it happened that way. That said, bad decisions can be fun if they work out in the end.
Drug dealer.
Won’t be the first I’ve dated. I don’t make good decisions
Dating them isn’t the bad decision, marrying and having kids with them is the bad decision. If you get out before then it is just a colorful story you can look back on
He claims not to have smoked pot but admits to committing felonies. I assume that is what ‘brought it back’ means.
To be fair, everybody commits three felonies a day.
Tell him he has to shoot himself in the nuts. If a bag of weed falls out of his butt, you’ll know he was lying and you can quickly exit the date.
That may be the best advice I’ve seen here.
Eh, I wouldn’t be too worried about the security clearance. We actually had a low level employee in my agency (not someone with any sort of power) get drunk, steal a car, and get caught by the police doing so and not lose their clearance. And this was during a TDY trip, so their supervisor had to go pick him up from the jail.
But then again, I had a security officer threaten me and my clearance because I kept a COPY of my emails from a prior agency. Not the only copy, but just a copy – they said that if I didn’t get written permission from the agency it could be considered theft of government property…
He hasn’t told you that you have pretty feet yet, has he? I mean even though he hasn’t seen your feet? Don’t get me wrong, I loved online dating, and it’s how I met my wife, but damn if there are not some weird fucking people out there. I mean some of them might even be libertarians. Be careful girl!
I am careful. Google voice etc.
Good move. Since google is tracking your every move, it will be easier to find the body .
This.
Exactly. Is it morbid I thought of that? Not with this guy, but some who only revealed their controlling nature after getting my Google voice number
it will be easier to find the body
Wait, is Tulip looking for dates or victims?!
Potayto, potahto?
Uffda.
“I am careful.”
Good for you, have fun!
Frankly Hyperion, that’s more than I wanted to know about you
Doesn’t matter how much you want to know about me, it only matters how much you know about the person you are currently chatting with on the intertoobz.
But that was funny, girly, I larfed.
I want dad to try online dating, but he hates the idea. Says he’s too normal for that kind of thing. I tell him, Dad, you’re a successful businessman and you’ve kept your looks, even if you’re barely sixty. You’d be a hit. But he’s old fashioned like that. Maybe you could talk him into it.
Well, a guy who seems normal, who doesn’t instantly ask to see my tits, or if I like to fuck, will do well.
*revises strategy*
See, I know to stay away from these things . . That’s why I send a dick pic in my first message instead.
Sigh
Tulip, you are a perfect Laurel. Or Hardy. Whichever one was the straight man. I only know the reference.
You’re the perfect that guy.
Margaret DuMonde?
I have no idea what that means
She’s good.
Dumont.
“I want dad to try online dating, but he hates the idea. ”
It’s wonderful, you just have to learn how to do it. It’s like the greatest thing ever in internet history. You just gave yourself a HUGE amount of traffic and at the same time, you don’t even have to talk to any of them. If anything ever happened to my wife and I, and I don’t expect that, or want it, I would go right back there, in an instant.
yup: binders of chicks
So how does old, fat, balding, and well funded play in online dating?
Asking for a friend.
I am not old and balding!
or well funded 🙂
That’s low…
I, personally, don’t care about balding. I don’t like guys who lie about height or by using 10 year-old pictures
using 10 year-old pictures
This problem isn’t exclusive to men.
Also, one full body picture. I don’t need to find out on the first date that you’re fat. (I don’t mind a little cushion, but most the women who do this are on the extreme.
I don’t like the pictures that show my girth.
Lol, he seems like a lot of fun in multiple ways. Is he mister right? I don’t think so, so I’m keeping my profile, but he might be mister right now. And as I said, only one I’m really physically attracted to so far. Now, I tend to get attracted to gauge as I get to know them, so there is one other guy I plan to have a second date with, but he’s busy with his kids right now
I assume you’re going to roofie him on the date so you can take his keys, go back to his place and do some recon, right? Isn’t that how it’s done?
Best wishes!
I don’t need to roofie him. He’s very definitely dtf
The roofie isn’t for the sex, it’s to be a stalker and go through all his stuff.
Good plan, Cardi B his ass.
The reason you even told us is because you want us to tell you not to.
So don’t do it!
No, more a -probably dumb- feeling I should be honest about how online dating goes.
OK. But still…watch yourself. Have fun, but watch yourself.
See above.Google voice, plus I tell a friend where I’m going and when I will check in
Live feed on Glibs. I could set that up.
Umm, no. Nobody, except this guy, wants to see that
You’d be surprised . . . Rule 34 and all.
We’ll need a video feed.
Tulip, it seems like all the glibs are acting like your big brothers, how can you have any fun with these guys hanging around?
I know right
Except P Brooks.
He ran away and ignored me even though I flirted had.
it seems like all the glibs are acting like your big brothers
Except P Brooks.
Maybe that’s why he’s not into it?
I meant more long-term; have some (or a lot of) fun, but don’t fall for a bad guy.
Just ask to borrow OMWC’s van and comb the high school football games tonight. If you’re going to make a mistake, it might as well be young, virile, and leave you no doubt that it will ruin your life. .
How do you not know that you labeling him as “bad idea guy” is just some sort of preconceived notion of failure ingrained by past experiences that were really due to stars and planets not being aligned? I really think to be scientific about this you should wait until Sunday for Not Adahns scientific readings.
On a similar note, I’m chatting with two different girls on Tinder right now. They’ll probably end the conversation soon. I have no idea how to make a conversation flow online and it all seems very awkward.
Try to think of it as a conversation. Even though it doesn’t flow. What is the first thing you would say?
I think I got this, since most guys I talk to do want to meet
I thought they wanted to fud.
I don’t talk to them
I’m not sure I’m good at conversations either. Anxiety and social awkwardness don’t seem to be working in my favor.
But you can think about what to say
“What is the first thing you would say?”
Wannafud?
This is why I’m reluctant to ever ask you folk for advise.
No, I ask their favourite movie or book. Then besides that what do they like to do
agreed
but books can stray from light and frothy; early must be light and frothy; easy = dumb stuff . . . depends on your age . . . maybe: Seinfeld or Friends? Favorite episode, favorite character.
The one I like better (based on her profile) just messaged me back so I’ll just crowdsource my response:
BLC1: Hi, I’m BLC1. How are you?
Her: Hey! I’m good, how about you?
BLC1: I’m doing well. Just enjoying a quiet Friday night (the first in a while). Have you had a busy summer?
Her:I have, my bestie and I had a lot of fun since we are both single.
Reply with your suggestion or comments.
“What do you like to do for fun?”
Threesome?
This guy is picking up what she’s laying down.
Ask where her and her friend have gone/done over the summer. Bars, clubs, beaches, hikes, ultramarathons, parks, etc. Give some information as to why your Fridays have been busy if you wish.
Example: “Good deal. What have you been up to? I’ve been stuck on call at work for the past four weekends.”
Smooth…
I’m happy not to have to worry about this.
I’ve done time in consulting and sales. I can be charming (especially if I have time to think about responses and plan out a path for the conversation), but it’s a lot of work. It’s a skill I’ve used to become a regular at several bars even if I’m only there once every month or two.
Same here. I got over my ‘fun’ stage 25 years ago and decided enough grief is enough. I was either going to stay single or be patient and find the right one. It paid off in a big way. Now my life is peaceful and I am contented. Wife and I spend all of our time together, never had a single fight and any task we undertake is like two bodies with one mind moving through it.
Yeah, that’s creepy as fuck, but to each their own, Party on Garth!
My reply: What have you and your friend done this summer? Any good stories? I’ll update with her reply when/if I get one. I almost went with Hyp’s suggestion, but decided to save that for the first date.
Her: We have been to France park a few times. We go out to bars a lot
Honestly, I think she might be starting to lose me. She’s 32. I’m not sure I need a 32 y/o bar hound, . . eh, I’ll keep the conversation going, I don’t have anything invested yet and I could judging a little too early.
Now, back to the suggestions.
If you’re still interested, ask which bars she likes to go to. I don’t know what France park is, I’m assuming it’s a local thing.
Update: She’s definitely a wild one. Probably not what I’m looking for, but like Tulip, I;m a glutton for punishment.
“Bestie? Who uses that word? Are you 13 or an FBI agent?”
I know women that use that term. They tend to be fairly shallow.
Ask if they are into anagrams.
That’s one of those NLP techniques to get them thinking about “anal,” isn’t it.
Analgram . . it’s like instagram,but shittier.
That sucks ass.
People like to talk about themselves. Get them to do that. Ask about them.
Like what kind of powder they use with a .308 and a 150 grain boat tail? See, if you can find out what they are interested in plus maybe get a load that’ll take antelope out to 300 yards. Win-win
300 yards is child’s play for off the shelf .308.
First step, make excuses for previous drug busts, I hear that’s a popular move.
I’m not a pretty woman, but I’m getting lots of attention. Say something related to her profile. That gets my attention and
Uh oh, Tulip’s date got to her mid-sentence! RIP Glib.
I have seen little to no evidence that this works although I hear women suggest it all the time.
I’ve had an OK Cupid account pretty much since it started. Over the years I have messaged maybe 1000 women, got maybe a dozen polite thanks but no thanks answers and half that many conversations that lasted a couple of days to weeks. Never once actually met anyone face to face
You’re in the 80% of “Below Average” males, clearly.
I’ve met one, I thought false advertising was illegal, but I guess not.
This mimics most of my experience as well. Out of probably 1k emails I’ve sent: approximately 20ish conversations. 4 dates (usually with women who have misrepresented themselves). 1 woman I actually likes (who wanted nothing to do with me). And 1 escapade (fat girl, but it was my first after my divorce and it ended a slump (physical and mental), so still worth it.
But at least it let’s me constantly remember what rejection feels like!
A thread, it’s about nothing.
All we need is a short obnoxious guy that does everything opposite and a hot chick with manhands. It just might work.
NYT, standard of truth.
“We built our newsroom to cover one story(Russia hoax) , and we did it truly well. Now we have to regroup, and shift resources and emphasis to take on a different story. I’d love your help with that. As Audra Burch said when I talked to her this weekend, this one is a story about what it means to be an American in 2019. It is a story that requires deep investigation into people who peddle hatred, but it is also a story that requires imaginative use of all our muscles to write about race and class in a deeper way than we have in years.”
https://slate.com/news-and-politics/2019/08/new-york-times-meeting-transcript.html
It looks like the propagandists are switching gears to stoke the racial hatred fires.
“we did it truly well”
I got nuthin. It failed as propaganda, and it failed as reporting. Bigly.
At least they managed to stay humble through it all.
Pretty sure they did that two weeks ago.
And this is why the NYT is a fraud as a newspaper and a disgrace to journalism. Biden and his kid should be 100% open game for investigative reporting on influence peddling. There are actual reporters out there but they do not work at places like the NYT’s. They need to die a slow painful death or come clean as DNC propaganda.
Did they pass the Flavor-Aid around after that speech?
I don’t understand Tlalib’s play here. The obvious thing would have been to go visit granny, and “just happen” to participate in lots of judenhass events while she was there. She could dare the Israelis to stop/expel her and either gain cred for standing up to the ZOG or become a martyr for being kicked out of the country.
Unless she really thinks Trump would let the Israelis imprison her for realsies. In which case, the mad dog strategy paid off.
The objective is to have yet another victimhood cred.
It makes her even more correct in all her pronouncements.
“I don’t understand Tlalib’s play here.”
She’s a hateful and totally brainless idiot. There really is nothing else to understand.
This. She hates jews in an all encompassing way. She’s willing to wreck herself for it. It’s amazing that the Dems are glossing it over for her. She should have been toast a long while back for it.
Trump and Bibi worked her like a rib.
OMWC, SP, I’m catching up and saw the posts about OMWC’s mom. Sorry. Alzheimer’s is common on my mom’s side of the family: my grandmother and all of my grandmother’s siblings died of complications to Alzheimer’s. It’s not pleasant. Sorry.
Thanks, homie. I’m sincerely touched by the support people here have given us.
I mentioned it the other day. But you might look into microdosing her with Psilocybin. No one knows too much about it yet. I don’t think it will be any miracle cure, but, I don’t think it would hurt anything.
Thirded, I’m sorry you guys. My thoughts are with you.
You’re welcome.
Though thinking back, there were a few amusing moments. Like when my great-aunt had beer for breakfast thinking it was orange juice.
Seconded, sorry you and your family are going through it. Hoping and praying for her, OMWC.
https://www.express.co.uk/news/science/1165417/Asteroid-news-NASA-space-science-space-2019-OU1-collision-latest-updates/amp
I don’t know if this has been discussed. What do y’all smart fellers and ladies think about SpaceX bring awarded the asteroid detection contract by NASA?
I sort of feel this way about SpaceX. If we want to get anything done at all, out of low earth orbit, for not astronomical cost, we had better give it to people like Musk. Otherwise, it’s Space Shuttle redux for another 50 years.
My brother likes to claim he helped Elon Musk build his first rocket. Brother was a counselor at Space Camp and Musk came there once. My brother helped him as he tried to build a multistage model rocket.
That said, my brother can be an insufferable git. I routinely call him Al – he’s a Tesla driving climate alarmist who lives in a 6k square foot house with his wife and one child…
I had to check if that was a real tweet because ya know, you people. Holy shit it is. Now that is funny shit.
You ugly!!!’: Airport guard fired for slipping mean note to random traveler
You ain’t got not alibi!
Shouldn’t honesty be a requirement for a job?
Not if you work for the government, then it should be a liability.
Stupidity apparently isn’t a liability
Does not appear that she is wearing a TSA uniform
Wife and I were traveling a while back and she was wearing a corset like thing under her clothes. She was having a back problem and it was supposed to help. It had a lot of metal snaps all over it. I told her to not wear it, but she wouldn’t listen to me. Anyway, sure enough it set off all the alarms and she got felt up by TSA girl, who I am sure was thrilled. Want to be a fucking pervert who does nothing all day and gets paid? The government is looking for you.
Hyperion is the hidden pervert nobody expected.
Yeah, right, I’m on this site and no one expected me to be a perv. Whatever you say.
Lawyer says nope.
You can be an honest lawyer in the USA, just an unemployed one.
Hey!
OK, fair point.
Sorry, bro, my wife is a lawyer also, just not in the USA, and my biggest client is one also, in the USA. I get sort of cynical sometimes, no offense intended.
I’m not unemployed. I just make less than I would if I became a pan handler.
Fucking Mr. Moneybags here.
Just learn to handle that pan, my friend. You’ll do well.
The weird thing about lawyers is when they go amoral, it becomes pathological. Your average liar lies to further their own interests. Your average lawyer lies because they know no better.
I say this flippantly sometimes, but there’s a kernel of truth to it: I have a lower impression of lawyers after 3.5 years of law school and 2.5 years of practice than I had going in.
Watched most of the Raiders/Cardinals pre-season game last night. Kyler Murry, LOL, who is the retard responsible for drafting this smurf? Why does this person still have a job in what’s left of the NFL? 3 for 8, for 12 yards, 2 sacks and a safety, against the Raiders 2nd string scrubs? Get fucking real, someone needs to get unemployed now for that clusterfuck of hair brained stupid.
I was pretty happy with the first Browns pre-season game. It seemed a good way to get my hopes up before the season starts.
Another Eagle qb bites the dust. Hope CK is ready when the call comes.
MindHunter season two is streaming, please don’t use any unauthorized methods to watch it.
I’ve been enjoying the second season so far (including the mini-Fringe reunion happening on the show).
Awww *turns off camera and creeps away from hyperboles window*
So I bought a twelve of Yuengling Golden Pilsner. OK, this is NOT a pilsner, it has way too much hops in it. The closest thing to a Pilsner in the USA is probably Miller High Life. USA, for gawd’s sake, stop making IPA’s and calling them Pilsners or Lagers. Jeebus, fuck the what?
*sigh*
I thought I knew you man.
Elaborate.
Good pilsners in the US (off the top of my head) Avery’s Joe’s Premium Pils, Victory Prima Pils, Sixpoint The Crisp, Oskar Blues Mama’s Little Yella Pils, Great Lakes Turntable (or the Wright) Pils, and Founder’s (previously PC) Pilsner. All of which have fairly wide distribution and beat the shit out of Miller High Life. None of them are close to IPA’s.
Haven’t drank any of those, yet. My fav Pilsners, SKOL, DevassaTropical Lager, Antarctica, and Miller High Life.
“The closest thing to a Pilsner in the USA is probably Miller High Life.”
We need a cat butt over here!!!
I like High life. One of the best domestic beers out there. And 30 for $17.99. It’s hard to beat that for getting drunk beer.
Yeah, it’s good beer. I prefer Heineken or Stella Artois, but it’s good. Reminds me a lot of the Brazil beers, SKOL and Devassa.
We have a dive package store near here where I can get an 18 of MHL for $12.
A cat butt for the truth. OK. Catbutt me. e
I don’t have a cat. The closest thing to pets I have are the damn house centipedes. They don’t stick around long enough to take a picture of their rear end.
Seriously, Strohs OGTFO.
I frequented a bar in college that still had Stroh’s in bottle circa 2005. We tended to stay with the good beers, like Old Style and Old Milwaukee.
Old Style is fine if you are looking for a krausened brew but Old Milldew id just a bad beer.
We’re actually trying to think of something worse than feline anus.
white dog turd?
We’ll let you know when we’ve found it.
Taking up tanning?
Baboon butt.
Beer.
Hateful.
https://tenor.com/view/hippo-poop-potty-gif-5088577
this is hard to beat.
Okay, I want a tail now.
I…. I…. got nothing beyond that I haven’t tried Yuengling Golden Pilsner yet. I’ll pick some up next time I’m in PA. I’ll reserve judgement until then. I doubt it is anything like an IPA.
No, bud, you know me. It’s a lot like an IPA. It’s way too hoppy. I’ll drink it, but it’s what it is. But it’s all a matter of preference. It’s way too hoppy to be a pilsner, that’s not saying it’s not good, it’s OK, but I’ll take a real Pilsner over it anyday.
I’ll try it at some point.
It’s odd to hear this, because I’ve heard Dick Yuengling say he thinks over-hopped beers are a bad idea. Every Yuengling recipe change/creation has to go through him.
I have to get some Devassa Tropical Lager (actually a pilsner) and drink with you. Then you’ll see what I am talking about.
OK, I’m game. Whenever that occurs.
Me too. I remember you telling me you go to Germany. We’ll be doing that a lot in the near future, we have to meet up.
Dammit Hyp – I’ve told you to come meet me at Gunpowder Falls Brewing in New Freedom, PA. He’s a hardcore German brewing purist. It’s not even an hour drive.
Visionary Bitcoin Creator Satoshi Nakamoto to Reveal Identity
Founder of Satoshi Nakamoto Renaissance Holdings to disclose the origins of his iconic pseudonym and the word Bitcoin on Sunday, Aug. 18, in the first installment of his three-part daily epiphany “My Reveal” on http://www.SatoshiNRH.com, and http://www.ivymclemore.com
The question is Bullshit or Not?
I’ve set up a livestream for tonight’s Glibs meetup.
I was reminded of Agile Cyborg.
If that is the only thing I take away from glibs then the entire experiment has been worth it.
Last thing I remember about AC. He was nearing a bend in the OHIO. OK, I get it, I was born there. Then he was attacked by some mutant bullheads. Yeah it happens. Then he was worried about some chick who was pissing in his mouth and almost stepping on his new camera. OK, could happen.
You are a maestro of something. I’m not sure what.
Don’t lie. You’d have sex with an engine or double wishbone suspension.
Just like I would.
Prius is not the twerking thicc girl of cars. It is the eco hippie chick lecturing allcomers on veganism and patriarchy. HM you deserve something more.
I rode in a Prius last night for the first time, my Uber driver on trip home. I was actually surprised by how nice a ride it was.
My 6’8″ cousin has one . Well, technically his wife has one, he rides a motorcycle daily (San Diego). But when he needs a car or they go somewhere together, he drives. He seems to fit ok.
Find me the anime girl version of a Skyline R34 GT-R Z-Tune.
How about this?
THOSE RED BASTARDS?!?
OK how about this?
As a shadetree detailer, the condition of the inside of his car made me feel even worse.
Signing out for the night. ‘night folks!
Nite, bro.
I spent three days at the beginning of summer break shoveling manure, rototilling, and throwing grass seed, because there was a huge bare spot/sometime mid pit in the mide of the lawn at work. Not part of my official job, but it’s for the kiddos, right? So, the new grass is doing ok, the kids are back and enjoying it, and the sprinklers stop working.
Call the guy, he comes out and points out a big hole dug around a valve box. But his company hadn’t dug it. Waste three days sorting the whole thing out, meanwhile new grass is dying. Turns out the dig was for a zone owned by the developer along the sidewalk, but we had paid to fix it.
Anywhoos, we finally found the problem. The guy wanted 1200 bucks to replace a main valve. I told him we’d think about it. Investigated the system plans closer. Changed a $12 celluloid (and paid $15 for waterproof wire nuts). Took less than two minutes.
Like a mechanic wants to replace your engine because the spark plugs are bad.
I’m having trouble understanding this . . .are you saying you water your grass? If you do that, how will you ever achieve that beautiful brown color that my lawn has ever August?
Whole lotta White people problems is all I heard, get over yourself DenverJ the world doesn’t revolve around your ass.
I had a vested interest in this grass becoming established.
Wild grass in CO is wheat colored almost year round. Kentucky Blue Grass in CO can stay green all winter, in spots.
Did you cross it with some sinsemilla?
Not personally…
“This is a cross bluegrass, Kentucky bluegrass, featherbed bent, and northern California sinsemilla. The amazing stuff about this is that you can play 36 holes on it in the afternoon take it home and just get stoned to the bejeezus-belt at night on this stuff.”
/Carl Spangler
Cannonball! Cannonball it!
Wait, is your job wt t-shirt contests at elementary schools? I think you and OMWC need to catch up.
I always win. Except when the kindergarten teachers compete.
Not part of my official job
Outstanding work!
The Hat is on fire with that Tweet! Burn it all down!
Can’t wait for the fact checkers to take it on.
“Talib’s grandmother couldn’t get back to us due to being a slave in an apartheid state, Mostly False.”
Glibertarians origin story
I thought this was our origin story! I hate conflicting narratives!
That’s Earth-2 Glibertarians.
Wait, are they Bernstein or Berinstein bears here? I might be in the wrong reality!
Berniestan Bears, comrade.
NOOOO! (You’ll get what I’m referring to if you watched everything on the DVD I gave you)
It’s in my luggage, I’m not sure if it’s the briefcase or one of the suvenier boxes.
Geez—no wonder you have cash flow issues. You’re just givin’ away dvds!
:: runs outside to check the mail ::
It’s stuff you already have access to, but haven’t availed yourself Digby, you got it first, don’t get jealous.
How do you know I haven’t? I do that stuff incrementally.
Because then you’d know where my ‘Noooooo!’ quote came from, and you didn’t reference the equation for time travel.
YOU WEREN’T TALKING TO ME!! I mean, I can’t be in on all of it….
I HEARD WHAT YOU SAID.
I dreamed up, like, my dream girl, and its kinda fucked me up. Because she’s nowhere to be seen, but here I am.
So you’re a sub?
Yep. My dream girl, nowhere.
I’m in my thirties. Tell me this isn’t reason enough to blow my brains out.
Pfffft
It can get much worse.
Aren’t you like twenty two?
What the fuck do you know?
I will be in about…. 2 hours.
So what? I was 33 when I met my first (and only) wife.
36 year old virgin, by choice not incel. No reason to be talkin suicide bra.
Sir Digby, who’s apparently young enough to make my bloody teeth feel natural
and Mike S, who’s married
Dude, 22 is waaaay off.
Again, in about 2 hours.
Oh jesus goddamn, I’m drunk, I’m sorry, hi everyone.
I was 40 when I meet my now wife, 47 when we married.
You have time.
Well, this is uplifting.
You sure you’re good Comodius? We’re here if you need to talk bro. And we’re drunk too.
In my early 40’s, I still regret decisions I made 20 years ago with a girl I loved. Still going to soldier on. If you need to reach out and talk, my handle at GMail.
It’s all good, cs. You my man, fifty grand, and all.
The thing to remember, is: Regardless of which side of the septic tank you’re on, it can ALL be ‘not all it’s cracked up to be’. Ups and downs, strikes and gutters. You can end up regretting decisions you really want to make, so make the best of your situation.
Incidentally, a female friend and I were chatting on Monday, sans either spouse;
She said she took comfort from the fact that, “I didn’t marry my idea mate. Then again, neither did he. “
It’s a dream I had this crush, and it’s stayed with me
I get it. I’d still drop everything for the girl I fell for when I was 13; she’s even to this day the only single mother I’d date (If she were single)
You want in on a secret, Commidius? You’re approaching prime scoring age. Women in middle age become somewhat akin to 17 yr old boys walking around with stiffies 24/7. I mean, they don’t have penises, off course, but they get really really hot to trot. Just enjoy the free samples, and you’ll find a flavor you really like, and likes you.
I learned right here that some women have penises. Stop confusing me.
Well, that turned dark rather quickly.
/yeah, for the both of you
That’s Donald Glover by the way, who has been featured in Disney’s Marvel’s Spider-Man Homecoming.
And Community.
Yeah, but I’m trying to talk to the youths, not the geriatrics that remember ‘Community’.
The series just ended 4 years ago! We still have a movie to go!
Neph’s not wrong.
Yeah, that’s the kind of thing when you think about it you realize you’re old.
……….you don’t say.
Did you see my link in the last thread to Eddie Murphy doing a Rudy Ray Moore biopic?
Well…..I HAVE NOW!!
You bastard.
I didn’t make no shortie!
Any Glibs going to Burning Man, you can look me up at Radio Electra (supposedly behind Center Camp, Rod’s Road @ 6:00) – playa handle is Rat Bastard.
Knew so many gay guys like this.
A local radio station plays Clyde Lewis late at night. Every once in a while I tune in just to hear a lunatic rant on chem trails. I don’t think he’s stepped into the gay frog territory yet. Tonight I tuned in and he was ranting about ANTIFA and how the medias lack of coverage helps them. Damn it I turned in to hear crazy talk not reality.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY SIR DIGBY !!!!!!!!!!!
(Apparently, he’s turning 22)
We allow children on Glibs?
Well, i’m here…
And, I’ve apparently lost 26 years, so….maybe?
/I keed, cs!
22 isn’t a child . . oh wait, I forgot, they changed it to 26. Digby, you’ll need to send a permission slip from your parents to continue late night posting.
Also, happy birthday. Just imagine, 22 years and 9 months ago, you’re parents were getting it on.
Well, to tell a family secret, I was a 10-monther.
God, what weird timing! Kudos, blc.
???
Wait, wait, we don’t give out cake and presents, do we?
Not when you’re around…
Wait until you see the emojis from HM
Oh, it’s all “baited breath” over here, slum.
I woulda had “baitin’” crossed out, but—tablet.
Baitin
Yup. Now, off to Starbucks…
Only for those too young for single malts
And, thank YOU, Mike.
Thank ya, Denver.
Happy Birthday, Digs. ?
^Click cake for surprise ^
Thanks!
Also, I think he’s copying my style…
Wait…you can link with emojis?
??
NSFW
I don’t know which is more intriguing; that fact/ability, or the offering.
Check out what pops out of ?.
NSFW.
Shit. Carry on and find your own porn.
LOL!!
/I may just do that…
This makes me think we should refer to this part of the evenings as “birthday spankings”
I mean, why not?
Was supposed to be this.
God. I’m not even drunk yet.
That was even funnier.
If ever there was a need for edit fairy…
https://images.app.goo.gl/JvnmT3Hqud3TihN7A
Lord, do I miss her…
Speaking of: where did my post go?
Well, here she is again—
https://images.app.goo.gl/JvnmT3Hqud3TihN7A
Twitter links don’t work for me.
I guess I still don’t get any cake. 🙁
… wait, I’m trying to cut back.
Why? Aren’t you at home?
My home is more important to protect from Twits than my work PC.
Put your gloves on. You’ll be fine.
I can relate, USC. It explains a lower-carb brownie and frozen yogurt in place of cake and ice cream.
/hells yeah, I still “would”!
Happy Birthday, Sir Digby! You’re one of my favorites, regardless of what the others say.
Me and my hair thank you, sine you’re being kind.
/much thanks.
Happy Birthday, Sir Digby! You’re one of my favorites, because of what the others say!
All the best, dude!
Mucho thank-o, Tundra.
Lovin’ the love here!
So many times I want to share my own videos, but I can’t; so again The Lost Skeleton of Cadavra.
Is there a story regarding the “can’t”? Contractual shit? Likeness issues?
The world is shit. It’s one thing me making content here that could threaten my job; it’s another for me to out myself and lose my job job. People fucking suck.
::Nods semi-knowingly::
Those people? I hope to never meet them.
And people wonder why I value my job security overmuch.
Yeah, my managers would probably not like this site, but the most they could do is get it blocked by the proxy.
If they fired me for political views, I’d get a payday in the lawsuit settlement.
I got caught reading glibs at work one time and was interrogated about reading ‘terrorist shit’, that was before I was doing Hat and the Hair.
Chee-zus. Your assessment is spot-on.
https://www.oregonlive.com/portland/2019/08/joey-gibson-patriot-prayer-leader-turns-self-in-to-jail.html
Portland Police arrested the leader of Patriot Prayer the day before latest demonstrations/confrontations. Just a big coinky dink.
He sounds dangerous!
Saw the Portland Mayor on teevee the other night. He was talking a good game about enforcing the law, not allowing violence etc and the whole time all I could think of was ‘lying commie pos’.
This move is unsurprising. They will just try to shut one side down and let Antifa off of the leash.
He and a bunch of “organizations” signed an open letter decrying violence and such. Most of the orgs were government agencies and departments that have no business weighing in one way or another, but why should they confine themselves to their supposed bailiwick.
I went to the Twitter account and spotted one Bishop Talbert Swan ranting like a lunatic about Trump being a racist and a rapist. I go to his account and sure enough, dude hates wypippo. Projection all kinds.
https://twitter.com/TalbertSwan
Twitter leaves this piece of shit alone.
Hilarious.
What a hateful pos.
Yeah, a pastor is supposed to be moral. Also, if 22 women accuse you of rape and can’t gain as much traction in the left wing media as the women who accused Bill Clinton of rape, maybe there isn’t much there there.
Pastor Clown meet Rev. God Damn America Wright.
Notice their shitting on Melania. Pure hate passing off as ‘facts’.
Since my glibs have been showing the love (in very tasteful ways, to be sure), here’s a birthday wish for our ailing glibs to get well quickly—regardless of what ails ya.
Kind words are nice but T&A pics show you really care.
https://www.latimes.com/obituaries/story/2019-08-16/peter-fonda-dead
Well…shit.
Well, Disney already killed Captain America, no reason they’d let him stick around.
I was never very impressed with Peter Fonda. Sad for his family, but I really wonder how much attention would have been paid to him if he had been some nobody’s kid.
Or, I’m an idiot and he was a gifted actor.
That’s like 60% of Hollywood.
Why not both, right?
No, nothing wrong with not being impressed with him. I, personally, prefer Peter Strauss. But, Fonda was still OK in my book, too.
Huh.
He’s a meh, but I’d be willing to comfort Bridget.
Tundra is THAT guy. Never woulda guessed.
Huh?
That guy that digs this?
Then yes, absolutely.
She’s hawt for sure. I’m talking about the grieving relative slide. ?
What can I say? I’m a giver!
“Now that we have all that empty space in the back of The hearse…”
See? It’s all about taking care of people!
“It’s what he would’ve wanted.”
Point of No Return era Bridget… oh oh.
<a href="http://www.zorg.video/wp-content/uploads/2017/06/Bridget-Fonda-nude-topless-Lara-Flynn-Boyle-nude-The-Road-to-Wellville-1994-HD-1080p-BluRay-0007.jpg" title="Road To Wellville” target=”_blank”>Road To Wellville
NSFW
It looked fine in the preview, but not after hitting post. It’s the Italics tags that f’d it up. NOT MY FAULT!
Road To Wellville
I’ll be in my milk of magnesia.
That was a helluva movie, I tell you what.
Cringy or Crunky?
https://mobile.twitter.com/Sprite/status/1156988719158702081
In a more just world, federal marshals would conduct predawn no knock raids Sunday morning on the AGs of OR, ME, PA, CA, and whatever the fuck equivalent in that pseudo state DC for violating Title 8, U.S.C. § 1324(a) inducing and encouraging illegal immigration and conspiracy to the same.
https://www.oregonlive.com/politics/2019/08/oregon-among-states-suing-over-rule-to-block-immigrants-from-public-assistance.html
?
The public charge rule has to do with legal immigration. Illegal immigrants have neither a visa or greencard, by definition, so I don’t see how the rules on determining if one should be issued a visa or not have anything to do with whatever it is you’re talking about.
You’re right.
My knee jerking is better than my reading comprehension.
https://archive.li/QKSFW/884c3f84242ffffac1e058b392db05e020cbc992.jpg
NSFW.
Happy birthday—to me.
And you get to blow them out, er up, or whatever.
Whichever way she likes. Not gonna be a wish-hog.
https://archive.li/hR4XY/eaafb74a8cb9ee842bb94de083de2e5aad33f2c2.jpg
NSFW.
https://archive.li/CJjbQ/f219e6ba82b189805db95f5b898fad703036880c
NSFW.
Wowza
She has a purty smile.
She does! She really, really does.
The internet is so juvenile.
https://mobile.twitter.com/Eater/status/1161831633462452224
wickedwillis
@wickedwillis
·
Aug 15
he looks like a rabid dog chewing on a pork chop
That not foam.
Well, that one commenter was glad it wasn’t a corn dog
Great minds and all.
Was at a festival last month where they sold giant pickles on a stick. A group of junior high girls all had to get one each. My brother and I enjoyed a draft beer while watching them scarf the pickles down.
You shared a beer with your brother…awwww!
j/k
“Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, he’s a mad eater!”
your mom’s juvenile
Real mature.
What has happened to my contributions? Will this work?
https://images.app.goo.gl/PHnhLroKNWXhB5NSA
Well, three posts with links went nowhere. Let’s see if this works for my contribution to straff’s edit dilemma
https://images-na.ssl-images-amazon.com/images/I/412hmO2eHgL.jpg
So, something really odd is, or was, happening with those posts. They weren’t showing on my screen after multiple refreshes.
I blame the Matrix.
Whoa.
Spam filters.
Dang. Foiled several times.
OK, it’s finally midnight here abouts, so, I’m official.
Also, thanks for all the fish, er…birthday wishes and the fine company.
Congrats on 49. It only gets worse. ???
Well, 48. But, might as well be. And, thank you.
I started at the bottom of the comments. Happy Birthday! Just wait until you’re 54 and you’ll yearn for those halcyon days of 49.
Thankee. Yeah, tryin to both plan ahead AND not think about it.
Happy Birthday, m’lord
Thank YOU, Lady of the Big Boom.
Happy bday SD!
Note to Glibs that might want to write: We have a few (scads) of open spots the next couple weeks. If you ever wanted to see your name up in lights (or at least on the Contributing Writers page) now’s your chance!
Submit
You want a handcrafted crossword? I’m halfway finished with my new one.
YES.
Always!
I’ve got tons of stories but I’m more of an anecdote/non sequitur guy. I lack the focus to be able to deliver a cogent tale that would be up to Glib standards. It’s the same with art. I was really good at drawing but I had to be hermetically sealed away from the world for hours and days on end to accomplish anything. Pot helped.
Uh-huh.
Now I feel the confusion and the shame. I will go to the box.
I mean, all the rest of us make fools of ourselves here. (Well, OK, *I* do anyway.)
Blaze and write.
Can’t blaze no mo. Makes me have the hibberty-jibberties. I stopped being artistically inclined when I gave up the Devil’s Weed. Mind you, now that its legal here I might find a blend that agrees with my particular brain chemistry but I’m not that enthusiastic about experimenting at my advanced age.
https://kcna.kp/kcna.user.home.retrieveHomeInfoList.kcmsf#this
These are screaming for a caption contest.
Can’t see it for some reason.
Norks’ shitty web design.
Maybe this will work
https://kcna.kp/
Neither worked for me but I did get a warning someone is trying to transfer my 401(k) to North Korea.
So the insurance adjuster shows up and she is a milfy smoke-show. I’m trying to rewire my hungover brain to comprehend the ins and outs of liabilities, deductibles, contractors and the like and I can’t stop glancing surreptitiously at her yoga-toned bum. Good thing Wifey was there because I kind of lost focus when she climbed the step ladder to peek in the attic. Looks like we’re gonna have to endure a couple of weeks of hell unless they find mold, in which case there might be a mysterious electrical fire in the near future for Casa Festus.
I wouldn’t throw out an old MILF based on a little mold in the attic.
Don’t you always translate that term as MIRF? She had the body of a twenty year-old but must be pushing forty. Fun Fact- She’s the same lady that Wifey bought the sofa from. What are the odds?
I like those odds…
I like my balls hanging right where they oughtta be, thank you very much! In the meantime, photons are free!
Happy birthday, SD.
Why, thank you. Might have to make that sign my personal statement.
It’d look good on a T-shirt. One of the funnier “No Fear” logos that I saw back in the 90’s was “Party Til She’s Cute!”
That would, indeed, make a good T.
I remember one withModerate Fear on it.
Understated humor is the best humor.
Look at that! I’m gonna have to turn in my Canadian card! I’ve stopped using the superfluous “U” when I post here. (Not really, I just grew tired of the red squigglies every time I try to write in the Queen’s English).
Dude, it’s an American website. USA! USA! USA!
*Peers around corner*
Hmmm…it appears everyone has gone home for the night.
*Runs around room with no pants, trips on liquor bottle, gets up and runs back out*
*sneaks out of the darkened corner to retrieve the bottle for the deposit, blends back into the darkened corner*
AH!
/Homer
It’s recycling! It’s good for the Planet!
Hey Mustang.
Sorry. Just got back from celebrating my Dad’s 82nd bday.
I didn’t like my Dad but I still miss him. I suppose.
Please let this be true.
https://twitchy.com/samj-3930/2019/08/16/whoa-sexual-assault-charges-against-don-lemon-now-more-substantiated-than-any-brought-against-kavanaugh/
However much I hate him, I wouldn’t want anyone to be assaulted.
the way you squeeze my lemon ..
Just heard about Peter Fonda. He was my one brush with Hollywood celebrity. Cooked him a cheeseburger at the greasy spoon that I worked at in 1986. He liked the burger, tipped the waitress twenty bucks.
It’s really satisfying watching my son play, even if that means you’re all outof luck on me writing something this morning.