Odin’s Day Cyclopic Links

Honestly, there probably won’t be any cyclopean linkage today. I’m just bored of Wednesday as a concept.

It’s blue. It’s a hole. And it’s pretty darn great.

I guess I can be semi-on-topic with music from Norway or Sweden, ja?

Comments

434 responses to “Odin’s Day Cyclopic Links”

  1. The Late P Brooks

    Somebody’s clock is off.

    I’ll be back later to see if this is still here.

    1. Nephilium

      He’s just getting a jump on Daylight Savings Time.

    2. The Other Kevin

      He’s trying to keep us all on our toes. And doing a good job of it.

    3. Pan Zagloba

      Looks like it’s sticking. Good, I finally get to not miss an early part of a thread.

  2. >>Tennessee man accused of dipping testicles in customer’s salsa before online delivery

    Some folks would pay extra for that service.

      1. Old Man With Candy

        No, he was nuts.

        1. Old Man With Candy

          And tainted the salsa.

          1. I hope it wasn’t one of those weird fruit salsas with perineum.

          2. Naw, he thought it needed avocados.

          3. Chipwooder

            Sounds like he had himself a real ball

          4. commodious spittoon

            He prefers to call it āhuacatl.

          5. Bobarian LMD

            He missed getting away with it by a hair.

          6. Tejicano

            What a Pendejo!

          7. Michael

            These awful puns are really testes my patience.

    1. Not Adahn

      If he had tried that with salsa from a real state, he’d be too busy hopping around screaming to make a delivery.

    2. juris imprudent

      Imaging the next blow job he gets – is that… cilantro?

      1. Jarflax

        Al least it will taste soapy.

    3. Doesn’t everyone put salsa on their chorizo y papas?

    4. ElspethFlashman

      He thought they ordered huevos rancheros?

      1. Tres Cool

        breakfast idea!

    5. PBRstreetgang
      1. slumbrew

        That’s a cute link. Wish I had thought of it.

        * flounces off in a huff *

        1. slumbrew

          Wait, what’s a more manly way of saying “flounces”?

          1. Tres Cool

            try ‘sashay’

          2. jesse.in.mb

            stalks

          3. slumbrew

            That works.

            * stalks off, chiseled jaw held high *

          4. Jarflax

            You should consider a bone saw. Chiselling bodies apart takes too much effort.

          5. slumbrew

            This place is a font of useful information.

          6. B.P.

            Gambols.

  3. Dr. Fronkensteen

    Only one of us is in the correct time continuum.

    1. Jarflax

      I’m posting from the one where Washington and Jefferson are regarded as too authoritarian, and the Mind Your Business Party controls 107 of 108 State Legislatures, both houses of Congress and the White House. Generally things are pretty smooth, although some argue that President Spooner’s 5th term went a bit far when he proposed and succeeded in passing, the 14th (and final) Amendment which rewrote the entire Constitution to read: Contracts will be enforced. Murder Rape,Theft, and violations of this Amendment are crimes, in all other Government shall have no authority. The 13th freed the slaves and compensated the former slaves, displaced Indian tribes, and controversially the former slave owners with land donated by Canada in exchange for admission to the Union as 9 States.

      Things here are generally nice, although the hookers have been raising their rates, there is a shortage of vintage wine and single malt due to the average wage reaching a troy pound of gold a week, and some of us find the constant 72° weather boring.

      1. leon

        Mind Your Business Party controls 107 of 108 State Legislatures

        Only in coalition with the TANSTAAFL Party, the You’ve Gotta Mouse in your Pocket Party? and the [REDACTED] Slaver! Party.

        1. Bobarian LMD

          It sounds like a patriarchy.

          Probably because there’s no women in that sausage fest.

      2. ruodberht

        Ah, you buried the catch at the end. It’s unpleasantly hot all the time? I don’t know if I’d accept that tradeoff.

        Anyone in a world where it’s 64 with low humidity?

        1. SugarFree

          Quito, Ecuador is the place for you.

          1. ruodberht

            That…actually looks great.

          2. Rhywun

            Yeah, I’d take that in a heartbeat.

          3. SugarFree

            And they use the American dollar. Their currency is pegged to it. (And Ecuador answers the question: “Where did all those Sacagawea dollar coins end up?”)

          4. SugarFree

            And Quito will eventually be a boomtown… It’s the perfect place to build a space elevator.

          5. grrizzly

            Amazingly for the city that’s practically on the equator.

          6. Tundra

            Looks like the provinces bordering Colombia are a little dicy, but overall pretty damn nice!

          7. Jarflax

            No dicier than Nosodakasoda

          8. Tundra

            Really, what is?

        2. I’d take about ten more degrees north of 72F, myself.

          1. ruodberht

            You can have it. I’ll send you all the degrees!

          2. Mad Scientist

            I’m with Naptown Bill. 72 is sweater weather.

  4. Old Man With Candy

    I blame SugarFree.

    1. TARDIS

      As is proper in almost all timelines.

      1. Spudalicious

        The one’s where it’s not are ones you don’t want to visit.

  5. Well, the meetings are over, but now I’m waiting for my car inspection. Damn New York money grab.

    1. Nephilium

      I’ve got to get my car’s e-check done this year. It’s worse here in Ohio because now the state pays for it, so you have a bunch of people idiots saying, “At least it’s free!”. And it’s only a small part of the state.

      1. I’m sure they pay a good rate for the machanics’ time, and the providers are overjoyed for the paperwork.

        1. Nephilium

          As am I. It’s annoying as hell, because you have to do it every other year.

          1. New york’s only last a year. Registrations are two, and they recently upped the fees to renew that. obviously the fees are less than the tickets for not having either.

          2. Same here in VA. It’s roughly $50 for inspection and exhaust, annually. Then registration is a couple hundred every 2 years. Then car tax is tied to car value. Roughly $350/car for late model domestic cars.

            They really want us to move back to TX

          3. Split into two payments in my county.

      2. Fatty Bolger

        They’re still doing that? What a waste of time and money.

        1. Nephilium

          Only in Cuyahoga county and the surrounding ones. So just the greater Cleveland area basically. It used to be the whole state, then (IIRC) just Cleveland area, Cincinnati area, and Columbus area. Then just Cincinnati and Cleveland, now just Cleveland area.

      3. Jarflax

        So very very very glad this went away down in Hamilton County.

    2. Tundra

      Say what you will about Jesse Ventura, car shakedowns were one of the first things he killed in office. Along with ridiculous license tab fees.

      Oh, and he sent us some of our money back.

      But Wrestler Man Bad…

      1. Many years ago Michigan was all poised to do car exhaust testing – a real negative for ahem car enthusiasts trying to get your modified engine to pass – and thankfully John Engler nixed the idea.

      2. hayeksplosives

        Favorite thing about Governor Jesse “the Body” Ventura was when at a townhall meeting, a woman stood up and said “I’m a single mom with 2 young kids. What are you going to do for ME?”

        Jesse said “Lady, *I* didn’t get you pregnant.”

        It was epic.

        1. He was great, in my youthful naivete I had hopes he would become the libertarian Trump (yes I know it was before Trump was Trump) What a shame he went all tin foil hat.

  6. The Late P Brooks

    Tuesday’s vote was split largely along partisan lines. Most Democrats favored the measure, saying it stands to protect renters from exploitation amid a housing crisis.

    “This groundbreaking tenant protection bill will make a real difference for Oregon renters,” state House Speaker Tina Kotek said. “Today was one big step forward.”

    It’ll make a difference, alright.

    Stand by for anguished handwringing about the decline in “affordable housing”.

    1. leon

      renters from exploitation amid a housing crisis.

      Soon Renters will need to be protected from “SlumLords”

      Then Renters will need to be protected from people who just abandon their property.

      1. Renters need to be protected from busybody legislators messing in things they don’t understand.

      2. Fourscore

        Homeless people rejoice. More free housing, needs free electricity!

    2. R C Dean

      This groundbreaking tenant protection bill will make a real difference for Oregon renters

      Yup. As homeless people, many of them won’t pay any rent at all. Yay?

      1. Fourscore

        I need to pay attention

  7. Gadfly

    India and Pakistan say they’ve launched airstrikes against each other. *Checks to see if there’s a Wikipedia list for this (of course there is)* I’m sure this is fine, just fine.

    Wiki also has lists on wars involving India and wars involving Pakistan, and it does look like there has been one war between the two since they’ve both gone nuclear. That war (Kargil War, 1999) was of limited scope and ended in an Indian victory without the use of WMDs, so there is precedence for things going south without going totally out of control.

  8. Pan Zagloba

    Oregon Set To Pass The First Statewide Rent Control Bill.

    Man, this sounds bad, I’ll go and see…

    The bill would limit rent increases to 7 percent each year, in addition to inflation. Subsidized rent would be exempted, as would new construction for 15 years. If tenants leave their residences of their own volition, landlords would be able to increase the rent without a cap.

    7% plus inflation? Yeah, I don’t think anywhere outside Portland will be too affected.

    For years, climbing rent has posed problems for tenants in Portland, the state’s largest city. But other cities, such as Salem and Eugene, have also seen median rents increase by a quarter within four years, according to the Willamette Week.

    You get that at 6% a year over four years. So…even if problem, not solved.

    From a linked article;

    The Portland metro area had one of the largest median rent increases in the country in 2017, and it’s going to continue in 2018. That’s according to a new analysis by Zillow.

    Portland’s median rent increased 4.6 percent in 2017 to $1,879 per month.

    You know, usually these kinds of laws attempt something and fail. Unless NPR fucked up, this is a law that literally says “you can’t raise rent far more than what market is currently bearing and you’re doing. Carry on”.

    1. juris imprudent

      Yeah, that urban growth boundary – there wouldn’t be any secondary effects from that. No, none. Well, except maybe for an Iron Law or two.

      1. Pan Zagloba

        I’m just puzzled by the 7% (plus inflation!). Up here in Zoolander’s California

        The landlord may only increase the rent 12 months after the date that the existing rent was established with the existing tenant(s) or 12 months after the date of the last legal rent increase, even if there is a new landlord or a new tenant by way of an assignment.

        The maximum allowable rent increase changes each year. The limits for residential tenancies and manufactured home park tenancies are different.

        For residential tenancies, the standard allowable rent increase for 2019 is 2.5%

        There’s also a table of increases in previous years, and it was 4% last year.

        Yes, we have shortage of rental spaces. No, I doubt lifting rent controls would fix an iota of the problem, since condos will still be more profitable, and zoning issues will remain in the effect. But at least this one looks like what I’d expect rent control to look like.

        1. Bobarian LMD

          If this rent control scheme actually affects prices, the main impact will be to restrict the availability of rental properties.

    2. R C Dean

      Camel’s nose. Now that they have rent control on the books, its easy to lower that 7%.

      1. Pan Zagloba

        Is it? It’s written into the law, so you have to change the law. And if you have the majority to set it at 4%, or 3% or whatever, why not just do it? Is there a particular segment of Democrats who don’t want it but can’t say no, and are expected to be replaced with more pliant ones?

        1. Gadfly

          From a long view, yes. Consider the income and social security taxes, both of which started quite low and were successively raised until they are now quite high. I’d imagine a similar process will be in store for these rate caps, being lowered little by little until they are quite extreme.

          1. Stinky Wizzleteats

            It normalizes it. Let’s go to six, it’s already at seven so what’s the harm? Then five, then etc.

          2. This is why you follow the WA example (at least they’re decent with some things) and say that *any* tax-associated bill must be passed with statewide popular referendum. Ie. No income tax – and especially no income tax to pay for King County BS infrastructure.

  9. Fatty Bolger

    Making a Murderer: Steven Avery wins right to appeal

    Curious about what people here think about this case.

    1. Nephilium

      I’ve avoided watching it because I don’t want to get too pissed off. I watched American Vandal instead.

      1. invisible finger

        You need to get pissed off.

        1. Nephilium

          I’m already pissed off at cops, prosecutors, courts, etc. If you really want, I have a copy of the documentary Of Dogs and Men.

          1. Hyperion

            This is gonna be a nut punch, isn’t it? How many puppies die?

          2. Nephilium

            I would have to watch again and count. It’s an entire documentary about cops shooting dogs. It includes some dog friendly cops who rail about the improper training as well. Going to the About/Stories page, it focuses on 6 families who lost their dogs. (I watched it when it first came out, I’ll warn you that any room you watch it in will get very dusty).

          3. Tundra

            Can’t do it.

          4. R C Dean

            I supported the kickstarter for that.

            I will never watch it.

          5. Jarflax

            If someone will just swat John Wick, this problem could be ended.

      2. PBRstreetgang

        American Vandal was fantastic. Doesn’t sound like there will be a Season 3 though.

    2. CPRM

      I didn’t watch Making a Murder, but being in the area when it happened what I’ve seen from the documentary doesn’t ring true. Most of the ‘explosive revelations’; from it were discussed and gone over at the time and debated publicly in the area. I think there may have been some improper procedures by the government, but I also think he is guilty. His nephew’s story is where the real dirt is IMO, but again I think the nephew is guilty as well. And just the same, no ‘explosive revelations’ from the documentary there either, it was all over local media and discussed.

  10. Thankfully the TV in the waiting room shut off. It was on a “news” channel covering the Cohen testimony. Their great big “gotcha now” excerpts, even if every word was 100% true, were great big nothingburgers. The way the anchors were reacting was threatening to cause my eyes to twist out of their sockets rolling so hard.

    1. The Last American Hero

      I would just watch and do a sit-com laugh every time they said something.

  11. Scruffy Nerfherder

    India and Pakistan say they’ve launched airstrikes against each other. Here’s what you need to know

    But I need the issue “explained”.

    1. Well, it began wirh the Mhugal empire…

      1. Drake

        Or earlier.

        Things really got rolling about a thousand years ago with the world’s worst holocaust.
        http://www.themysteriousindia.net/the-biggest-holocaust-in-world-history/

        1. Raven Nation
        2. R C Dean

          Jeebus. I had no idea. I assume that information is reliable?

          1. Drake

            More or less. India has been densely populated for a long time. The Muslim invasions were an absolute bloodbath.

          2. Rhywun

            You know, I had wondered once or twice over the years how it is that Islam managed to leap across India* to take over much of the rest of SE Asia. That the current state is the result of hundreds of years of bloodbath sounds about right.

            *gross oversimplification, I know

    2. Hyperion

      Pakistan spotted circling back for a 2nd strike

      Allah Crack Tar!

      1. They smile in your face!

        All the time they want to take your place

        The Pakistanis.

        /O’Jays

    3. STEVE SMITH EXPLAIN HIS LOVE WITH A NIBBLE ON THE EAR.

      1. Love is in the ear,
        Everywhere I look around.
        Love is in the ear,
        Every sight and every sound….

        1. What’s the price of corn in Tampa Bay?

          Buck an ear.

    4. Rhywun

      You won’t believe what happens next!

      1. Dr. Fronkensteen

        They ended global warming with one weird trick.

      2. Drake

        Our entire IT staff gets drafted?

    5. Tonio

      Aryans, dude.

  12. Tundra

    Hi jesse!

    Thanks for filling in!

    Answer me this: why do the protesters in Lahore have signs in English?

    1. Pan Zagloba

      So Indians will understand them?

      1. Hyperion

        *Microsoft Support Center*

        ‘The phone go green green. I pink it up. I say yellow’

      2. leon

        That’s what the Navajo get for skimping out on developing written language.

    2. SugarFree

      Lahore

      Leave Winston’s mom out of this.

      1. Not Adahn

        Winston’s Mom is French Canadian?

        1. TARDIS

          My martini went up my nose.

    3. Gadfly

      Probably to appeal to world sentiment. Also, apparently English is the second most commonly spoken language in India, a country that has 780(!) different languages.

  13. Hyperion

    ” Bottom of the Great Blue Hole.”

    Something, Sea Smith…

  14. juris imprudent

    [sigh] It was with considerable regret that I must announce I resume work on Monday. Enjoy me while you got me because I’ll be back to the less frequent participation shortly.

      1. juris imprudent

        The wife is quite happy, though she has enjoyed having more of my time.

    1. Tundra

      Sorry, brother.

      How’s the new horse?

      1. juris imprudent

        He’s doing well, settled in with the herd (the other 6, including the wife’s, on the property). Horse social behavior is pretty interesting. We’ve squeezed in a couple of rides when the weather has allowed.

  15. Hyperion

    Just a heads up. Ya’ll might want to avoid the Meteor Buffet. You might get tonged to death.

    Dueling Tongs

    1. Slammer

      It’s not a real restaurant fight unless a weave ends up on the floor. Though looking at the mug shots looks like that’s exactly what happened

    2. Was one of them Jameis Winston?

    3. Chipwooder

      Hey, save it for Chuck E Cheese!

  16. The Late P Brooks

    PSA for you P G Wodehouse fans (you know who you are):

    This is on Amazon

    1. Gustave Lytton

      Highly recommend.

  17. Drake

    How do you dip your testicles in something that is delivered “online”?

    1. Pan Zagloba

      SugarFree knows.

      1. Bobarian LMD

        And served it to us this afternoon.

    2. Jarflax

      Have you ever been to /b?

      1. Slammer

        +1 Sharpie in pooper and shoe on head

      2. Hey lady, I’ve been to paradise, but I’ve never been to /b

    3. Private Chipperbot

      Battery clips?

    4. Does the salsa shoot out of the PC?

      1. SugarFree

        You have to insert a salsa dongle.

      2. ElspethFlashman

        Only if you put a dime in the USB drive.

        1. TARDIS

          I love salsa balls!

    5. Hyperion

      The internet of ‘things’ has finally arrived?

  18. The Late P Brooks

    I must announce I resume work on Monday.

    *backs slowly away, makes sign of cross*

  19. Tundra

    The company rebranded as WW in 2018 with Winfrey’s blessing, aiming to ride a wave of interest in wellness and natural ingredients. But the pivot away from a clear focus on weight loss may be sputtering.

    It’s interesting. This smacks of a CEO reading an article in a business magazine and deciding to put their unique mark on the company.

    “Here’s what we’re gonna do: rebrand!!!”

    Step 1: Change name of a nearly universally recognized company.

    Step 2: ?????

    Step 3: Bankruptcy!

    1. What, you mean brand recognition and loyalty doesn’t carry over?

    2. Why use 3 syllables for a venerable and internationally recognized company when you can use 6 for a … who are they and what do they do?

      1. Jarflax

        Marketing gurus write for other marketing gurus. They talk about metrics, which means how many paragraphs get written about the campaign in business magazines, not how many $ the campaign made. The client may be out of business, but the ad exec won an award!

  20. R C Dean

    Am I the only one who thinks the sultry Odin pic on the main page is kinda disturbing?

    1. Pan Zagloba

      Just showing off who is the Allfather.

    2. Loki was gay. But Odin? ::ponders on the Tree of Gay::

      1. SugarFree

        I thought Loki was trans and ophidiophilic.

        1. Jarflax

          You think he got off on the venom in his eyes?

          1. SugarFree

            No, sorry, you’re right. Angrboda was an ogress that gave birth to a snake. I thought he fucked a snake.

            Loki was a teratophiliac. And had sex with a male horse while presenting as a post-op transgender transhorse.

          2. Jarflax

            I thought she gave birth to Fenrir? (I am not playing gotcha, both my posts here are actual questions. It has been many many moons since I read the myths)

          3. SugarFree

            She gave birth to Hel, Fenrir, and Jörmungandr, all Loki’s children. (I’m doing a quick refresher on Norse mythology and falling into a wikihole.)

      2. Rebel Scum

        Loki was gay.

        Really? Now I don’t know I feel about naming my cat that. He has. . .tendencies. Just kidding. He is all over the gf. He literally climbs on her tits and gets in her face to cuddle and get attention.

    3. Dr. Fronkensteen

      Would you prefer Ian Mcshane’s Mr Wednesday?

      1. Nephilium

        Second season finally returns in a couple of weeks. Here’s hoping Gaiman was able to right the ship a bit.

        1. Rasilio

          I’m not holding out much hope given that he seems to have been pretty involved in the first season

          1. slumbrew

            I’m certain Gaiman was totally on board with the stupid changes that were made.

            Great look show, the story line is grating. I’ll be passing.

          2. Dr. Fronkensteen

            #metoo

          3. slumbrew

            “looking”. “looking”.

            Can I make a donation towards editable comments? Say, 30-60 seconds, if not already replied to?

          4. Drake

            Eh. I’ll probably watch only because everything else on TV is even worse.

      2. Rasilio

        Not really that adaptation of the book sucked.

    4. slumbrew

      I really figured he’d be more buff – more Worlds Strongest Man and less Ironman Triathlon.

      1. Drake

        I thought Thor was more the strong / dumb one. Odin had stamina.

      2. slumbrew

        Why is it spelled ‘Odinn’ in the background, but ‘Odin’ at the bottom?

        And where’s the other bird? Hugin & Munin are a matched set.

        1. SugarFree

          Just who do you think is taking the picture?

          1. slumbrew

            Good point – must be Hugin taking the photo, since Munin would have no need of pictures.

    5. Chafed

      Stop othering Jesse.

    6. ElspethFlashman

      His legs are sorta . . . feminine . . . .

      1. jesse.in.mb

        What’s fun about Odin is he’s actually carrying a couple of feminine traits. His domains included prophecy and poetry and if I remember my eddas correctly he got ribbed for it by the other gods.

        1. Sensei

          See, I thought you meant Oden…

          https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Oden

          1. jesse.in.mb

            Los Doyers, Playa and I had some oden with our k-bbq today. Doyers thought it was sliced inari sheets.

          2. Sensei

            Yum!

          3. jesse.in.mb

            It was fun trying to practice my hangungmal again. The waiter kept having to take a minute to parse my shitty accent and the fact that Korean was coming out of a white dude’s face.

  21. blighted_non_millenial

    Alex Jones is on Rogan. I used to think Jones’ whole shtick was just that. Now i’m pretty sure he is bugfuck crazy.

    1. Dr. Fronkensteen

      Only because the Bohemian Grove members drugged him.

      1. Dr. Fronkensteen

        On further thought I could have been T.H.E.Y. (The Hierarchy Enslaving You)

    2. Chipwooder

      Nah, I’ve always thought he was crazy. Way before anyone knew who he was, there was a section about him in the book Them about conspiracy theorist types. He was just a local radio host then. In the chapter, the author, Jon Ronson, describes sneaking into Bohemian Grove with Jones, who was VERY excited about how he was going to expose the whole thing. He came off as very earnest and very nuts.

    3. Slammer

      Alex Jones is one of the most talented actor/comedians in American history

  22. Pope Jimbo

    The company issued a refund for the tainted food.

    Which was it? Did he put his balls in the salsa or his taint?

    1. slumbrew

      It’s amazing how many phrases here make me think of The State.

      1. Chipwooder

        LOUIE!

          1. Chipwooder

            This one was always my favorite. I can’t quite explain why, but it still kills me after all these years.

            The State was awesome. Too bad Michael Ian Black is such a cunt in real life.

          2. slumbrew

            I don’t even remember that one – that’s great!

            I had a similar thought about Michael Ian Black. Such a douche.

    2. Fourscore

      Hey fellers, I’ll be in the TC on Mar 21st. I have to make an airport drop at about 2 PM and have some time if you and Tundra and any the rest of the wanna drink a little coffee.

      1. Old Man With Candy

        Tundra snubbed us, so good luck.

        1. Fourscore

          Sometimes you just get lucky…

          1. Jarflax

            and sometimes you have to steal a bike?

        2. Pope Jimbo

          Tundra showed up with bells on when 4Score showed up last fall.

          Of course, 4Score brought honey along to sweeten the deal. So I guess it is true about catching more with honey than with a large dog that has no real sense of boundaries.

          1. Tundra

            That honey was fucking awesome.

          2. Old Man With Candy

            So was the dog.

          3. Pope Jimbo

            This has the start of a XXX-rated SF approved video where there is a big todo at Tundra’s palatial estate that ends up in a some crazy Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups situation involving a strange accidental combination of honey and Wonder Dog.

            The final scene is of Mrs Tundra with the world’s biggest smile.

          4. Old Man With Candy

            So wait, Mrs. Tundra is Winston’s mom? It’s all beginning to make sense.

          5. Pope Jimbo

            Have to agree with Tundra. My wife is considerably fonder of Fourscore than she is of me because of his looks, industriousness, and honey (mostly the honey I think).

            She’s been raving about the honey since Fourscore was nice enough to give us some.

      2. Tundra

        I had the 22nd on my schedule, but I’m in town. Same spot 2:30?

        1. Fourscore

          Would work for me

          1. Pope Jimbo

            I’m in too. Whether you like it or not

          2. Fourscore

            So a 3 way, at a minimum

          3. Tundra

            Easy there, big fella. Remember Jimbo’s ticker.

          4. Pope Jimbo

            Given that there is a yoga studio right next door and we’re meeting in Spring, I’d say you are settling for far too little Fourscore.

            Fight for Fifteen!!!!

          5. Tundra

            I love those outdoor classes.

          6. Fourscore

            I penciled it in on my busy social calendar

  23. Spudalicious

    Srsly, who among us hasn’t dipped their balls in salsa?

    1. SugarFree

      I got cinnamon oil on my balls once.

      Never get cinnamon oil on your balls.

      1. slumbrew

        something… something… Cinnamon Girl

      2. Jarflax

        Ghost Pepper Flavored edible lube never really caught on

      3. SugarFree

        I was 7 or 8 and cinnamon-flavored toothpicks were all the rage and my parents just weren’t buying me enough of them. So I figured I would just make some with regular toothpicks and cinnamon oil I swiped from the baking cupboard.

        Being 7 or 8, there was only one place I could get the privacy my experiment required, the bathroom while pretending to take a shower. And because I might have had to jump in the shower to further the pretense, I didn’t have any clothes on.

        I filled a little jar with toothpicks and then cinnamon oil, and I got the oil all over the damn place. I cleaned it up, the bathroom reeking of cinnamon, like Father Christmas himself had just took a giant shit in there, and then idly scratched my balls.

        Searing, burning, awful fucking pain. I jumped in the shower and it got a little better and soap finally stopped it. I get out and check for damage, and there are two giant welts on my tiny hairless nutsack. Of course, I didn’t tell my parents so as to not get in trouble and it hurt like a motherfucker walking around with a seared scrotum until about a week later two fingerprint-sized scabs peeled off my balls.

        1. Jarflax

          Even your reminiscences of childhood are disurbing.

          1. SugarFree

            A lot of weird, awful shit has happened to me. I thought everyone’s life was like that until I grew up.

          2. Jarflax

            I ended up with Tabasco in my eyes after a ‘food fight’ at boy scout camp once, which was quite lame, but not nearly as awkward as yours.

          3. SugarFree

            That still sucks though. I’ve done the classic “wipe my face while cutting peppers” more than a few times.

          4. juris imprudent

            Yeah, when I slice hot peppers, I wear latex gloves, because one time I didn’t wash my hands quite thoroughly enough before touching an eye.

          5. slumbrew

            I went from “maybe I’ll try some of those nitrile gloves I see people using on TV” to “I can’t possibly cook without those gloves” surprisingly quickly.

          6. Cooking gloves? Welcome to the club.

          7. Tundra

            I use these for both wrenching and peppers. No dexterity issues.

          8. slumbrew

            I went slightly cheaper, though I’ve looked at the Venom gloves.

            On the plus side, I’m all set for Firefly cosplay.

          9. Gadfly

            From this story, at least, it sounds like at least some of that weird, awful shit was self-inflicted. It explains a lot.

          10. invisible finger

            Never accuse SF of not writing what he knows.

        2. Tundra

          OMG.

          Laughing my ass off and scaring the others. Thanks.

          I remember not being able to purchase cinnamon oil because reasons and how, when we were able to score some, foil wrapped toothpicks became quite a valuable contraband.

          Innocent times.

        3. slumbrew

          JFC.

        4. like Father Christmas himself had just took a giant shit in there

          Priceless.

        5. slumbrew

          … there was only one place I could get the privacy my experiment required, the bathroom while pretending to take a shower. And because I might have had to jump in the shower to further the pretense, I didn’t have any clothes on.

          That’s the story told about every one of these x-rays

          1. SugarFree

            “I fell on it, I swear. I don’t know how it got up in there.”

        6. invisible finger

          I’ll never eat Atomic Fireballs again.

        7. Fourscore

          So the latest SF hallucinations are not new or recent?.

          “It all started innocently, back when I was about 7 or 8”

        8. Pope Jimbo

          I think I’ve told this story before, but here it is again.

          My father used to have a buddy who lived out in the country. His buddy had a big tom cat named Spike who grew up with dogs and thought he was one. Super friendly cat. In the summer he liked to lay out back in a shady spot to see if he could get a few birds that came to a feeder. The only problem was that his spot was in the middle of some poison ivy. It never bothered Spike but the oil would be on his fur when he came back in and if you weren’t paying attention you could get it on you when he jumped in your lap to get petted.

          So one day, my father and his buddy had their planned fishing trip canceled due to windy weather and they sat around his buddy’s house drinking. Late in the evening, I got a call saying that Dad needed a ride home. So I go out there and shoot the shit with them for a while. Both are deep in their cups.

          Spike comes walking in and jumps in Dad’s lap. He starts petting him and everyone laughs and tells Dad that he better kick Spike off his lap because he’s been in the poison ivy. “Don’t worry, I’m immune to poison ivy. Never bothered me at all.” says Dad. Famous last words indeed. You’d have to go back to Custer’s “There’s only a couple fucking indians down there” before you found a statement that turned out to be more wrong.

          The next day, not only were my father’s hands covered in a rash, his pecker and balls were also inflamed from when he went in to take a leak while his hands were full of poison ivy.

          To say the least, his misfortune was a source of amusement and merriment for everyone. To this day, the phrase “I’ve heard some people are immune to poison ivy” makes everyone – except Dad – laugh out loud.

          1. SugarFree

            Oh, that is bad. The itching. Did he fill a tub with calamine lotion?

            There was a camp legend that a kid wiped his ass with poison ivy, but no clue if it was true.

          2. Rasilio

            My brother and cousin went ice fishing a couple of decades ago. The went around the edge of the lake and gathered up some downed branches and vines to use for building a fire. Lucky them, a good percentage of the vines they gathered were Poison Oak. Now it was winter so they were using gloves and such when gathering the wood so they didn’t notice what it was and they then proceeded to sit in the smoke from that fire for a fair bit of time before they realized the problem and got out of there.

            The next morning my brother looked roughly like Arnold did in Total Recall when he was knocked out of the environment dome

          3. Pope Jimbo

            There was some (ok a lot) of calamine lotion. However, there is some truth to his claim that he is immune to poison ivy. He wasn’t immune, but he is pretty resistant to it. (For that matter, I tend to be less affected by poison ivy and oak than most people too).

            So he healed up pretty quickly. The lasting damage was to his ego.

    2. slumbrew

      * tentatively raises hand *

    3. juris imprudent

      Huevos something-er-other.

    4. Pope Jimbo

      Those of us who aren’t shitlords who engage in cultural appropriation!

      Why don’t you crackers dip your balls in ketchup and leave the salsa for those of our mexican brothers and their vibrant culture?

      1. slumbrew

        Ketchup is not OK! It’s culturally appropriated fish sauce!

        1. Pope Jimbo

          Uffda. Do I look like I just fell off the sugarbeet truck?

          You can’t fool me. There is no such thing as fish sauce? How would a fish drink booze underwater?

          1. slumbrew

            It’s like you never even listed to Dr. Demento

      2. Spudalicious

        To be honest, most commercial salsas really can’t be considered salsa.

  24. Rebel Scum

    Students associated with religious political party Pakistan Jamaat-e-Islami hold images of Indian Prime Minister Narendra Modi during a protest in Lahore on Feb. 27, 2019.

    ^ Image description.

    Banner in the image: “Crush India March”

  25. Count Potato

    So these are the afternoon links?

    I wasn’t around for the morning links. Did I miss anything important?

    1. Tundra

      Demi Rose had an implant mishap. Thailand has been evacuated.

  26. Rebel Scum

    Tennessee man accused of dipping testicles in customer’s salsa before online delivery

    I wondered about how one would discover this.

    The delivery driver allegedly recorded it and posted a video online, saying “This is what you get when you give an 89 cents tip for an almost 30-minute drive.”

    My guess was correct. Stupid is as stupid does.

    1. Tennessee Man?

  27. Count Potato

    “‘She could be in your dreams or she could kill you’: Six-year-old girl’s chilling description of how ‘suicide game’ character Momo befriended her during Peppa Pig video on YouTube”

    https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-6752331/Six-year-old-tells-mom-Momo-suicide-game-character-befriended-Peppa-Pig-program.html

    What?

    1. slumbrew

      Sorry, I got distracted by the Em Rat pictures.

      1. Count Potato

        That she is such a terrible actress kind of ruins it for me.

        1. commodious spittoon

          I didn’t even know she actored.

          1. Bobarian LMD

            Her boobs were the best actress nominee in Girl Gone.

    2. Count Potato

      “‘Monitor what your kids are watching’: Mom-of-three Kim Kardashian warns parents of horrific online Momo suicide game”

      https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-6750947/Kim-Kardashian-warns-parents-monitor-kids-watching.html

      Is it more horrific than taking family advice from a Kardashian?

      1. juris imprudent

        Can’t be, I’m fighting off the urge to kill myself just for reading what you posted.

    3. Jarflax

      Not thicc

      1. Count Potato

        Depends which Kardashian.

    4. Chipwooder

      Hoo boy, another moral panic for my wife to latch onto. She’s a very practical, sensible woman, except when it comes to being absurdly overprotective of our children.

      1. jesse.in.mb

        Children shouldn’t be left watching YouTube, full stop. There isn’t really a wall between kid’s content and adult’s content and there are bad actors who intentionally tune their videos of adult content to be algorithmically chosen following kid’s programming. If you’re going to let your kids watch it, make sure you’ve set up the playlist instead of letting YouTube do it, but other than that none of this is a big deal.

        1. Chipwooder

          Oh, I agree with that. We don’t let the kids take their tablets upstairs to their rooms. They have to use them with one of us around, or on the TV (Xfinity lets you access YT through the cable box). They don’t watch it that much anyway, mostly just my son watching Minecraft or Fortnite videos occasionally.

          1. Pope Jimbo

            We don’t let the kids take their tablets upstairs to their rooms.

            This is how you raise a future SF with cinnamon smelling scars on their balls.

    5. Fatty Bolger

      The Momo challenge has been linked to more than 100 deaths of teens and children around the world.

      Color me skeptical.

      1. juris imprudent

        They just made the connection, now to be repeated several million times.

  28. nw

    So, I’d say Oregon just passed a “landlords will increase rent by 10% per year” law.

    When I had rental property, I pretty much never raised rent on a renewing tenant.
    A months vacancy, plus sprucing the place up, plus advertising the place, and time
    interviewing tenants wasn’t worth the extra money for the next year.

    But if there was a law restricting the increase, I’d increase it by the maximum
    every year, just in case. If need be, I’d offer some sort of rebate to bring
    the actual price down to market price.

    1. invisible finger

      I have a friend in Chicago that is renting a place where the landlord won’t raise the rent. The landlord lives in horror of being forced to rent to a shitbird with government connections. My friend pays more than the landlord asks.

    2. commodious spittoon

      I’d offer some sort of rebate to bring the actual price down

      I’d be surprised if that isn’t illegal because it’s “anti-competitive” or discriminatory.

    3. Pope Jimbo

      If need be, I’d offer some sort of rebate to bring the actual price down to market price.

      Offering to sleep with the tenants in a reverse Annette Benning in the Grifters deal probably will lead to more trouble than simply raising the rent to over market levels. I’m sure you and the tenants valuation on your sexual services would be widely divergent.

    1. Rasilio

      Those Female British soldiers….**shudder**

      The faces could stop a tank dead in it’s tracks

    2. SugarFree

      That dress looks terrible on Larson. She just doesn’t have the regal bearing to pull it off. When she slumps her shoulder’s she looks like a little kid playing dress up.

      1. Fatty Bolger

        Yeah on her it looks cheesy.

      2. Bobarian LMD

        Regal bearing == big boobs?

        Who knew?

    3. Chipwooder

      Margot Robbie all day long over “flat-assed Resting Bitch Face block of wood Brie Larson” as AoS called her

      1. Count Potato

        She was very cute on United States of Tara, though.

        https://www.imdb.com/title/tt1001482/

        1. The Last American Hero

          Sorry, but drop dead sexy beats very cute every time.

  29. Rebel Scum

    I was really hoping this was some SugarFree Star Trek erotica.

    The Motion Picture of The Deep Blue Hole?

    The Wrath of Khan The Deep Blue Hole?

    The Search for Spock The Deep Blue Hole?

    The Final Frontier Deep Blue Hole?

    The Undiscovered Country Deep Blue Hole?

    1. Rasilio

      SEA SMITH ALREADY KNOW ALL ABOUT DEEP BLUE HOLE, TEACH SILLY GLIBERTARIANS HUMANS ALL ABOUT IT, COME IN WATER AND SEE

  30. BakedPenguin

    India and Pakistan say they’ve launched airstrikes against each other.

    Ah, fuck. Just what world didn’t need. I blame Rebel Scum, because he’s the first Glib whose comment I can see.

    YOU’RE TO BLAME!

    1. Rebel Scum

      *backs away slowly from apparently magical version of RISK*

    1. Chipwooder

      “My god, what have I done???”

        1. Chipwooder

          “This is not my beautiful house! This is not my beautiful wife husband!”

          One of the few songs where the live version is much better than the studio version

          1. Sensei

            Absolutely agree!

    2. Rufus the Monocled

      He dresses like a Russian soccer hooligan.

      1. BakedPenguin

        Well, when your wife wears a green shag carpet, does it matter?

    3. Playa Manhattan

      Drugs are a helluva drug

  31. Tundra

    Geologists have finally found exactly where some Stonehenge rocks came from, debunking old research

    A team of 12 geologists and archaeologists from across the United Kingdom unveiled research this month that traces some of the prehistoric monument’s smaller stones to two quarries in western Wales.
    The team also found evidence of prehistoric tools, stone wedges and digging activity in those quarries, tracing them to around 3000 BC, the era when Stonehenge’s first stage was constructed.
    It’s rock-solid evidence that humans were involved in moving these “bluestones” to where they sit today, a full 150 miles away, the researchers say.

    I still think it was – well, you know.

    1. slumbrew

      It’s like nobody every read Aku-Aku. You can muscle large rocks across long distances with primitive tools.

      1. Tundra

        I’m actually more interested in why.

        1. slumbrew

          Propitiate the sky gods, obvs.

        2. Count Potato

          Religion can be a powerful motivator.

        3. Gadfly

          To get laid.

        4. Jarflax

          Stonehenge was a gigantic gravity maze built to entertain an especially spoiled young chieftain. Unfortunately the first time he played with it the giant ball bearing got lost.

    2. You can say it.

      Aliens.

      1. TARDIS

        I forgot who I voted for.

    3. I still think it was – well, you know.

      The pre-tricknology Kangs?

    4. Pope Jimbo

      I still think it was – well, you know.

      Illegal Mexicans? Willing to do the work that Picts refuse to do?

    5. Rufus the Monocled

      There were aliens in Wales?

      1. Tundra

        Still are, it appears.

      2. Rasilio

        No one knows, the Welsh were all too busy fighting each other to notice

      3. BakedPenguin

        Where do you think they got the language?

        1. Dr. Fronkensteen

          That actually makes sense.

      4. Pope Jimbo

        There were aliens in Wales?

        How many Mexicans can fit in Moby DIck exactly? And how do you get a whale to swim up the Rio Grande?

    6. Emmerson Biggins

      Anunnaki, obviously.

    1. Stinky Wizzleteats

      I like Lucky Charms and I like beer but this doesn’t sound good at all.

      1. Rufus the Monocled

        Froot Loops is better.

        1. Spudalicious

          No fruit in beer!!!

      2. CPRM

        One St. Patrick’s Day I tried eating Lucky Charms replacing the milk with Irish Cream. Did not go well.

    2. I’d try it. **ETA: God dammit. Of course it’s a fucking IPA. Of course.**

      Join us as we flashback to those Saturday Mornings when you rolled out of bed and were lazy all morning watching your favorite cartoons and playing video or board games.

      I don’t think we need to flashback, guys. It was only a few days ago…

  32. Rebel Scum

    Democrats’ ‘Anti-Lynching’ Law Makes a Mockery of Real Lynching Victims

    When most Americans think of lynching, they summon images of the horrific murders of American blacks, particularly in the years of the Jim Crow South. To describe such murders as “bias-motivated acts of terror,” as Cory Booker has, would certainly be accurate. “This bill,” Booker says, “will not undo the damage,” but it “will acknowledge the wrongs in our history. It will honor the memories of those brutally killed.”

    So, when Senate Democrats offered their proposed new law, the Justice for Victims of Lynching Act of 2018, I had assumed that it would be a symbolic congressional action to recognize these injustices that took place and to honor the victims. Considering that the act passed the Senate unanimously, that’s likely what most senators also believed.

    But that’s not what the act is, and that’s certainly not its intent. The real purpose of the act appears to be the legal redefining of the word “lynching” to include a include a much broader scope of lesser crimes, and to grow the federal government’s power to prosecute these lesser crimes that it includes in its new definition.

    A bill that does something different than what is perceived/purported? *faints*

    Here’s something interesting to consider. The alleged attack against Jussie Smollett would certainly not, in the commonly understood definition throughout history, be considered a “lynching.” But it would fit the definition of a “lynching” in the Democrats’ newly proposed law.

    The act appropriates for the federal government the right to completely remove the most basic requirements for a crime to be defined as a “lynching,” now declaring that a “lynching” is any act where “2 or more persons willfully cause bodily injury to any other person, because of the actual or perceived race, color, religion, or national origin of any person.” According to this definition, a Hasidic Jew being punched by two black guys is now to be defined by the same word we’ve used for decades to describe a mob of racist whites hanging an innocent black man.

    The language of the act then becomes very careful. It continues with a separate clause defining lynching to include attacks based upon the “gender, sexual orientation, gender identity, or disability of any person.” That language mirrors, verbatim, that used in the Hate Crimes Prevention Act of 2009. The only difference is that one or more people committing to such an attack is a “hate crime,” according to the previous legislation’s description of the crime. Now, when two or more people do the same thing, it’s a “lynching.”

    I am sure that would all be equally applied.

    1. Scruffy Nerfherder

      It’s meant to federalize even more crimes so that grandstanding US Attorneys have even more opportunities to grandstand.

    2. Rufus the Monocled

      Isn’t this. like, already on the books under ‘murder’?

      Fake lynching will get you 2 years in the slammer.

      I can’t keep up with the loons in the DNC anymore.

  33. Count Potato

    “This kit will solve gender inequality in breastfeeding by making men lactate — here’s how

    Will critics be called lactate intolerant?”

    https://twitter.com/theblaze/status/1100542278530199554

    https://www.theblaze.com/news/this-kit-will-solve-gender-inequality-in-breastfeeding-by-making-men-lactate-heres-how

    1. PBRstreetgang

      These men shall be known as “Milk Dudes”.

      1. Bobarian LMD

        Shumerites

        1. Spudalicious

          -10 Moobs.

    1. Chipwooder

      The kosher bacon cheeseburgers will be a true modern marvel.

  34. Count Potato

    “Neurosexism: the myth that men and women have different brains
    The hunt for male and female distinctions inside the skull is a lesson in bad research practice, writes Lise Eliot.

    Yet, as The Gendered Brain reveals, conclusive findings about sex-linked brain differences have failed to materialize. Beyond the “missing five ounces” of female brain — gloated about since the nineteenth century — modern neuroscientists have identified no decisive, category-defining differences between the brains of men and women.”

    https://www.nature.com/articles/d41586-019-00677-x

    Bullshit.

    https://twitter.com/SwipeWright/status/1100842757227200517

    1. Scruffy Nerfherder

      And Nature is down the toilet too….

  35. slumbrew

    Oh, joy – the estimate for the hound’s CT scan tomorrow has arrived.

    She is turning into the most expensive “rescue” dog ever.

    For background: TPLO #2 is healing nicely but the lump they biopsied while she was under turned out to be a subcutaneous mast-cell tumor. CT scan will hardly be the last bill…

    1. B.P.

      Ugh. Bummer.

      If it makes you feel any better from a misery-loves-company perspective, three years ago my dog ran up a $12K vet bill.

      1. slumbrew

        Not there yet, but that’s well within the range of possibility. We’ll see.

        1. grrizzly

          Health care is a canine right.

    2. blighted_non_millenial

      Mast cell tumors suck. The boxer boy in my profile pic got them a lot. Only thing to really do is stay on top of lumps and bumps and have them biopsied as soon as you notice them.

      1. slumbrew

        The fact it’s subcutaneous is why we didn’t biopsy it months ago – our main vet figured it was a cartilage growth (it’s right near the end of one of her ribs). The vet who was doing her TPLO figured to biopsy it while she was already under anesthesia, but he was also surprised it wasn’t just some benign growth.

        On the plus side, there was no change in size after the initial growth, so I’m a bit optimistic it can be removed and that will be that. Fingers crossed.

  36. Count Potato

    “Wow. Republicans just scored their SECOND motion to recommit, w/ over two dozen Dems joining the GOP to add language to the background check bill notifying ICE when illegal immigrants buy guns”

    https://twitter.com/MZanona/status/1100858163870552064

    I think you misspelled “only”.

  37. The Late P Brooks

    Orange Man Bad

    President Donald Trump was hit with a spray of shouted questions on Wednesday evening in Vietnam, including one about his former fixer Michael Cohen’s salacious testimony, as North Korean dictator Kim Jong Un sat alongside him, chuckling and looking bemused at the media outburst.

    Minutes later, the White House barred four American journalists from covering their next event.

    The decision to clamp down on media coverage of the historic summit sparked outrage among the White House press corps and prompted immediate accusations that the White House was punishing journalists for asking the president uncomfortable questions.

    “This summit provides an opportunity for the American presidency to display its strength by facing vigorous questioning from a free and independent news media, not telegraph weakness by retreating behind arbitrary last-minute restrictions on coverage,” White House Correspondents’ Association President Olivier Knox said in a statement, adding that the group “strenuously objects to the capricious decision.”

    Oh, no, the big bully won’t hold still so we can whack him with this stick. Whycome him no want to be in our Punch and Judy show?

    1. CPRM

      And regardless if you like him, think he is literal Hitler or just want him out of office; is a peace summit trying to denuclearize a regime you were scarred two years ago was going to nuke you really the place to ask questions about such things?

      1. B.P.

        That was my thought as well. I remember when the press was all about norms and decorum.

        1. Gadfly

          It’s why they can’t bring him down: they’ve sunk so low, Trump has the high ground.

      2. CPRM

        Reagan: “Mr. Gorbechev, tear down this wall!”

        CROWD CHEERS

        Reporter: Mr. President! Mr. President! What about Oliver North?

        1. creech

          No, more like “When’s Nancy’s next session with her astrologer?”

    2. Rebel Scum

      the White House was punishing journalists for asking the president uncomfortable questions.

      Uncomfortable? Try irrelevant and possibly damaging to the summit.

      1. Were they even having a Q&A session? If not any shouted questions would be uncalled for whether uncomfortable, irrelevant, damaging, etc…, if they were having one then it’s on them, pretty dumb to open up a Q&A during an important summit meeting.

  38. dorvinion

    The sometime misery of homeownership.

    My main floor is partially below grade which means my ground floor is a slab. It was also built in about 1975.

    Not long ago I noticed a sink-like smell coming out of my floor vents after washing some dishes. Run a cheapo endoscope camera through the floor vent and sure enough there is water from my kitchen sink.

    Call a dude out to try and send a good quality camera down the drain and he tells me that the kitchen branch of my sewer pipe used to be cast iron and now its just chunks of rust and filled with mud so its probably been this way a while and we never noticed cause of a lack of symptoms.

    Fortunately only the kitchen branch seems to be rusted out and I can pretty much avoid using it in the short term if I move the dishwasher to the laundry room temporarily.
    The next closest branch is for a toilet and bath sink and they appear to be not be collapsed. At least I can’t imagine they would be collapsed since TP/crap would likely be getting stuck and cause a blockage right quick.

    I’ve been contemplating who to call now.
    Demo crew and a plumber to cut through my slab (which would require removing a lot of hardwood flooring, and a couple cabinets)
    Or one of those fancy modern pipe relining/pipe bursting companies to fix up the busted line and re-line the rest of the house since its only a matter of time before it goes bad too.

    Either way I just can’t see myself getting out of this one without writing a painfully large check.

    1. Scruffy Nerfherder

      Been there. Sorry bud, my story would not reassure you. It involves months of contracting and a pneumatic fecal matter cannon directed at my ceilings.

      But I can offer some guidance on both procedures. Remind me tomorrow when I’m at the office and not on my phone

      1. dorvinion

        I think I’ll pass on that.

        I’d feel compelled to repeat it and my wife would undoubtedly start to worry.

        Surprisingly she’s not worried about how much it will cost, but rather how much of a disruption it will be.

        1. Scruffy Nerfherder

          I’ll skip the shit aerosol details and give you the ins and outs of the processes.

    2. I feel your pain, brother. I feel it.

    3. Count Potato

      Sorry to hear that.

    4. Spudalicious

      That sucks. There’s been three vans and a trailer from an HVAC company sitting in our neighbors driveway for two days.

    5. I’m Here To Help

      There is a law firm down here in FL that advertises a class action suit against home insurance companies for this exact thing. It’s something along the lines of “if you have a house older than 30 years old and have cast iron pipes, home insurance companies are trying to change your policy to exclude this.” Our house ticks all the boxes for inclusion in this, but we’re good so far – we’ve had all our lines scoped with no evidence of collapse (or potential collapse). That and I just couldn’t stand giving Morgan and Morgan any business…

      1. Spudalicious

        When I sold my last house, I had to shell out $9k to have all the black ABS drain pipes replaced.

        1. Chipwooder

          Sounds pretty racist to me.

    6. The Last American Hero

      Call This Old House. If they put you on the show, they fix it for free.

    7. OneOut

      Reline the pipes..

      No.

      Question

  39. AlmightyJB

    I just want to go ahead put it out there that I’m a Nazi Imperialist Colonizer so no one needs to ever point that out in the future. If someone thinks that something I said is horrible and oppressive, that because it probably was and that’s what I meant for it to be.

    https://hotair.com/archives/2019/02/27/vox-knitting-community-reckoning-racism/

    1. Count Potato

      I don’t know which is worse, what happened, or Vox trying to explain it.

  40. Count Potato

    “1/ Okay so here is the latest YA Twitter blowup. It’s quite cannibalistic. All social-media screencaps sent in by anonymous tipsters and independently confirmed. Please do NOT insert yourself into any of this drama — as I’ll demonstrate (not for the first time), one of the ways”

    https://twitter.com/jessesingal/status/1100830505061228546

    1. Chipwooder

      What a bunch of sad, pathetic losers.

    2. Scruffy Nerfherder

      Ugh…

      A massive collection of insecure, vindictive, social climbing assholes.

    3. Rhywun

      Would you look at that? Twitter is still cancer.

    4. Ed Wuncler

      So my wife who is a children’s librarian is well aware of how these jackals will descend on anyone who writes the “wrong” thing. When we were driving to Michigan for a vacation, she told me that a coworker who was recently published has a (well founded) fear that these same jackals will come after her if she writes something they don’t like and has to worry about checking all the correct boxes and making sure she doesn’t offend anyone. The issue is these assholes do lasting damage to a lot of decent up and coming authors and what makes it worst is when the accused authors try to grovel and apologize.

      At some point someone have to tell these folks to go eat shit and die in a fire.

      1. I bailed out of Romancelandia because of that very same thing. The end result is a lot of milquetoast writing.

      2. Scruffy Nerfherder

        Some people cannot handle any sort of power.

        1. Ed Wuncler

          I know I’ve said this before but while I was for the 2nd Amendment it wasn’t on my list of things to vigorously defend. But as I’ve seen the explosion of authoritarian assholes on social media who have targeted wrong thinkers and set out to destroy their lives, having a means to defend yourself when these assholes eventually turn to violence is the best thing for this country since internet porn.

          1. Dude, the 2A is the one I actually care about. Everything else depends on that one. If troops want to quarter in my home I’m going to have a better time referring them to the Days Inn down the road if I’m armed with a carbine than with stern looks and colorful language.

          2. Ed Wuncler

            All the other amendments are meaningless if you don’t have the 2nd to protect you from those encroachments. Granted a lot of our liberties have been eroded slowly but imagine if we didn’t have the right to bear arms.

          3. Chipwooder

            As Al Capone supposedly said, “You’ll get a lot further with a kind word and a gun than just a kind word”

          4. Chipwooder

            And yet he was renowned for his skill with a knife. Go figure.

            “I’m a businessman, Tom. Blood is a big expense.”

          5. The Last American Hero

            Not as clumsy and random as a blaster.

    5. commodious spittoon

      Twitter really should shitcan all of their accounts. It’s coordinated harassment, but, you know, unlike telling journalists to code, it’s actually harmful to careers, psychologically damaging, and in fact cancerous for the industry.

  41. Count Potato

    “Bohemian Rhapsody Pitch Meeting”

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1RajlWbY7uQ

    1. Tundra

      Excellent. Don’t need to see the movie now!

      1. Count Potato

        I found the movie entertaining, it’s just not historically accurate.

  42. BakedPenguin

    Whee! Another hate hoax!

  43. Count Potato

    “More from @JamesOkeefeIII and @project_veritas’s latest video: an internal Facebook document singles out @roamingmil as an example of “bad content” to “demote”:”

    https://twitter.com/BreitbartNews/status/1100799035320004609

    https://www.breitbart.com/tech/2019/02/27/facebook-document-singled-out-video-from-moderate-conservative-woman-as-destructive-behavior/

    1. Count Potato

      “My thoughts on @Project_Veritas’s latest report. Facebook lists sharing one of my videos as “destructive behavior” and an example of trolling. Needless to say, I’m not pissed. Project Veritas: LEAKED Facebook Doc TARGETS My Video”

      https://twitter.com/RoamingMil/status/1100826986015006720

      “Project Veritas: LEAKED Facebook Doc TARGETS My Video”

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ewohflU4PIA

      1. slumbrew

        I just LOL’d at a comment from one of her tweets: “If I had a dollar for every woman who found me unattractive, women would find me attractive.”

    2. Chipwooder

      I’m choosing to read that as Roaming Milf

      1. BakedPenguin

        Yeah, Lauren Chen is hot, and most of us here would generally agree with her points, but here’s Liberty Doll to interrupt her crtv – Conservative anti-Libertarian agenda.

        Liberty Doll is awesome. Even if she does live in Massachusetts.

        1. Chipwooder

          Eh….I don’t think many here would agree with those specific points.

          I’m generally sympatico with conservatives probably in the 50-75% range, but goddamned when they’re bad they tend to be REALLY bad.

          1. Chipwooder

            Roaming Milf’s points, that is.

        2. Raphael

          Agreed. LD is great, her video on stuff she learned about guns from liberals made me laugh my ass off and I keep rewatching it.

      2. Rebel Scum

        RoamingMillennial looks pretty good. She will one day be a RoamingMilf.

  44. The Late P Brooks

    You’re with us, or you’re evil

    The freshman lawmaker and self-described democratic socialist told Rolling Stone that “a lot of Republicans” know they should speak out against President Trump, but don’t.

    “In the Republican Party, there’s a hostage situation going on,” she told the magazine. “There are a lot of Republicans that know what the right thing to do is — not just on impeachment but on a wide range of issues — and they refuse to speak up.”

    Ocasio-Cortez called it “an unacceptable position” for GOP figures not to stand up to the president.

    “We’re not in the realm of politics anymore,” she said. “These are not questions of politics. These are questions of society. These are questions of equal treatment. These are questions of civil rights.”

    Any body who won’t do what we want should be shot and dumped in a mass grave. That’s how democracy works.

    1. Chipwooder

      When I think of “civil rights”, Marxists are totally my go-to group.

    2. Ed Wuncler

      Her bullshit and ignorance are getting old. The issue with her is if you ignore her, her ideas and terribleness goes unchallenged but if you engage her, you won’t win because like a pigeon, she will shit all over the chess board and claim victory. I think it was either Banjos or SP who said that she represents the worst aspects of the Millennial generation: the inability to believe that she can be wrong and this unearned sense of confidence.

      1. leon

        As a millennial I’m confident that their aren’t our worst characteristics.

        1. leon

          Those* not their. Dang mobile phone.

        2. Raphael

          *nods knowingly and sadly takes a swig from a flask*

      2. The Last American Hero

        Maybe we go after the moderates and establishment types that have the same party affiliation. Ask them if they believe the world will end in 12 years, get them to commit to endorsing the GND or not. Ask if they support AOC on restricting birth rates.

    3. See my comment upthread re: the second amendment. It’s people like her who make me happy I’ve got a gun closet.

      Also, doesn’t she have a term paper due or a prom to get ready for? Isn’t there a soy latte going unmade while she’s flouncing around DC?

    4. Rebel Scum

      Every day I inch closer to buying a MAGA hat ensemble just to spite these authoritarian, and dangerously ignorant assholes.

  45. BakedPenguin

    This is weird – I never heard of The Primitives during their heyday, or I was too drunk at the time to remember.

    They aren’t the greatest band or whatever, but I should’ve heard of them and remembered.

    I blame everyone who isn’t me. Gonna have a quadruple vodka & Coke and go listen to the Go-Go’s. Kathy Valentine was an awesome bass player (for that band).

    1. Chipwooder

      Young Belinda Carlisle was fucking hawt

    2. I’m Here To Help

      I’m going to vote for too drunk to remember – they were pretty well represented on the 90s era movie soundtracks. There are some halfway decent punk covers of that song as well…

      1. BakedPenguin

        IHTH- I hate you, because you’re probably right. Also, I blame you, because you aren’t me.

        Chip – Jeebus, I watched the old vid for “Our Lips Are Sealed” and thought a great many thoughts that would be inappropriate even for a SugarFree story. I like just slightly plump women, and Belinda nailed that niche in 1981.

        Also, I like the song, but whatever. Imma have another vodka & Coke.

    3. slumbrew

      I would have bet you were going to link to this Primitives song. I was wrong.

      1. BakedPenguin

        Okay, yeah, that’s a better one.

  46. Rebel Scum

    I do wonder how a war between call-centers and goat fufarmers would be carried out.

  47. Count Potato

    “US Appeals Court Rules for Actor James Woods in Twitter Case

    CINCINNATI (AP) — A federal appeals court has rejected an Ohio woman’s defamation lawsuit against actor James Woods over Twitter posts during the 2016 presidential campaign.

    The Cincinnati-based 6th U.S. Circuit Court of Appeals upheld Wednesday a lower court ruling dismissing the lawsuit by Portia Boulger of Chillicothe (chihl-ih-KAHTH’-ee), an activist for Democrat Bernie Sanders’ 2016 presidential campaign.

    In March 2016, a Twitter account mistakenly identified Boulger as a woman who appeared to give a Nazi salute at a rally for then-Republican presidential candidate Donald Trump. Woods’ account retweeted the photos, asking: “So-called #Trump ‘Nazi’ is a #BernieSanders agitator/operative?”

    Multiple outlets reported the photo was of another woman, and Woods eventually corrected his tweet.

    The appellate judges found Woods’ tweet “could reasonably be read to have an innocent meaning” as merely asking a question.”

    https://www.usnews.com/news/best-states/ohio/articles/2019-02-27/us-appeals-court-rules-for-actor-james-woods-in-twitter-case

    1. Rhywun

      merely asking a question

      I wonder if the question mark at the end gave it away.

      1. Jarflax

        Did that question mark identify as some other punctuation? Perhaps it expressed itself as a period? Maybe even an oxford comma.

        1. Oxford comma or GTFO.

  48. Spudalicious

    “Ho Chi Mihn, known here as “Uncle Ho””

    – Brett Baier

    Who knew Ho Chi Mihn was a trannie hooker on the side? LARF!

  49. Count Potato

    “A conservative activist was punched in the face at UC Berkeley. The response enraged the right.”

    https://twitter.com/washingtonpost/status/1100804802274095105

    OFFS

    1. commodious spittoon
  50. Gustave Lytton

    My wife was getting mad yesterday at a talk radio host stooping down and ridiculing a “kindergartner” (her actual description). I asked her what she meant because I all I heard was clips of AOC’s latest verbal diarrhea. Turns out wifey thought the host was playing a kid talking, not the Democratic Socialists’ rising star.

    1. MikeS

      That is hilarious. You wife wasn’t far off.

    1. AlmightyJB

      Not a good year for VA politics. Lol. That states getting more proggie all the time from what I hear so they’ll have worse things to worry about soon.

      1. Sean

        Too funny. I’m loving it.

      2. Rhywun

        he is not doing enough to help disadvantaged minorities in the state budget

        So… cough up some dollars and we’ll let the “harm and hurt” slide. OK, then.

      3. Rebel Scum

        We need to eject NoVA and annex WV.

    2. Rebel Scum

      *breezes through article*

      Apparently she “singled out” African-American students to demonstrate an artifact/example at a museum. The. Horror.

      (and it is not like she made them pick the cotton…but her husband might have..///jk)

    3. Fourscore

      Like if the gov’s wife in WI would give out cheese to the white kids. What’s up with that

  51. AlmightyJB

    “As a person of color” I can do and say whatever I want and no one can question me or my I intentions because I am “a person of color”. F’g skank.

    https://hotair.com/archives/2019/02/27/cohen-hearing-derails-rashida-tlaib-kinda-sorta-calls-mark-meadows-racist/

    1. Raphael

      I just loved Cohen’s face during that whole exchange. “Why am I still here?”

      1. AlmightyJB

        Yeah that was classic

        1. AlmightyJB

          That’s going to be a gif for something

    1. Raphael

      Now this is a manga series I can dig into.

    2. AlmightyJB

      Would

  52. The Bearded Hobbit

    Glibs,

    Can someone tell me how to install Monocle in Firefox? I tried searching addons but it didn’t show up

    1. Count Potato

      Sorry, I don’t use it, but maybe you could ask trshmnster?

    2. MikeS

      Here

      Do yourself a favor and also download Tophat. See the thread under comment #21

      1. The Bearded Hobbit

        Thanks!

    3. I recommend eyepiece and tophat. I stopped doing development on monocle a while back. Tophat will eventually get folded into eyepiece whenever I feel like messing with it.

      1. Rhywun

        I thought eyepiece was mobile only…?

        1. Nope, it’s mobile friendly, but it works on desktop too. I just updated it to not nuke SP’s sidebar buttons and I’m working on getting tophat integrated into it right now.

          1. Rhywun

            Ah, OK. I’m still on Monocle 2.00.

            Installed Eyepiece. My, this is different. I’ll comment later if I have any questions, thanks 🙂

          2. I have no idea how 2.0 looks anymore. Eyepiece was a near-complete rewrite using JQuery natively instead of refactoring it into some of the Monocle code. I should really write a quick article pointing out the different available scripts.

      2. The Bearded Hobbit

        I thought you had mentioned an upgrade in Tuesday’s links.

        At any rate, thanks! It seems to be working.

        I hate disk crashes. Lost bookmarks, settings, firefox passwords and all my Outlook info. It will take weeks to get back together.