One Month Challenge

I turned fiddy this month and was thinking about things that I’ve always avoided because I sucked at them.  Sketching is a huge weak point, so I decided to try and improve as much as I can over a month.  I’m not going to classes or anything.  I’m just going to watch YouTube videos and visit other websites to see what tips I can add to my arsenal.  Why not join me?  Saying you can’t because you are terrible is not much of an excuse given it’s not about how good you are.  It’s about what you can pick up in your free time over a month.

 

Guidelines:

Choose a pic or something real that you can sketch again in a month.

Spend no more than 45 minutes sketching it as well as you can.

Use online or other resources to improve.

Do the same sketching again in a month.  (30 days as of this posting)

 

The only thing I ask is that you post your first attempt in the comments here.  Even if the thread is dead and you’re a couple days or weeks late, plop it in the comments.   When the month is up, we’ll do another write up and have you post your pictures in the comments.  Even better, if you can send your pics to TPTB before the posting, we can put your pics up top for all to see without clicking.

Here are some of my attempts for the first sketch.  Hope I get better, cuz ugh….  A mouth, nose and eye.

 

 

Comments

257 responses to “One Month Challenge”

  1. Spudalicious

    Great artwork. I’ll be watching from the sidelines. My hands are at the point where writing out a shopping list is a challenge.

    1. Spudalicious

      BTW, if anybody wants some sloppy seconds, Swallwell’s Fart is available.

      1. Sean

        Ewwwwww.

      2. Spud’s Sloppy Seconds

        No thank you, sir!

        1. Spudalicious

          *snort*

      3. Sir Digby

        if anybody wants some sloppy seconds, Swallwell’s Fart is available.

        Cali Fart porn?

  2. Yusef drives a Kia

    Looks like fun, and nice work Straff, I’m a bit busy right now, too many things to do, but I’ll watch, sounds like Fun!

    1. straffinrun

      Only one way up from there. Those pics I drew were just following YouTube tutorials. I’ll post some links to them.

      1. straffinrun
        1. Sean

          Bookmarked.

          1. Sean

            Also bookmarked.

  3. Don Escaped Texas

    post your first attempt in the comments here. Even if the thread is dead and you’re a couple days or weeks late, plop it in the comments

    post a link?

    1. straffinrun

      Sure. I use Imgur.

  4. Florida Man

    I’ll try next round. I’ll be out of the country for 2 weeks so prolly not the best time to learn a new skill.

  5. commodious spittoon

    Joke’s on you, I’ve been challenged all my life.

  6. Tulip

    Yay! Thanks for organizing this. It’ll be fun. Any media restrictions?

    1. Tulip

      I’ll post something this weekend.

    2. Sean

      Yes. No power point. ?

    3. straffinrun

      No? Anything is fine. Hoping to be able to steal techniques from y’all that actually can draw. I’m gonna fake it till I make it.

    4. Crusty Juggler

      I am sure your penchant for drawing fornicating cartoons will be allowed, weirdo.

  7. Rhywun

    I quit an architecture education when they wanted me to sketch stuff.

    1. Sean

      I took mechanical drawing and architecture in high school.

      I gave up when I learned how little the average architect made.

      *No regrets*

      1. Rhywun

        My architect buddies do fine but yeah not everyone is a “star”, same as any field.

  8. Scruffy Nerfherder

    I haven’t even finished the damn article I promised.

    Drawing has never been a forte for me. I’ve got engineer sensibilities when it comes to shape and firm. Even my photography is rather rectilinear.

    That said, I’m going to watch the videos and think about it.

    1. Timeloose

      I’m an engineer when it comes to drawing. Everything human ends up a robot, every flower a light fixture, and pretty much everything organic becomes metal, ceramic, or glass.

      1. straffinrun

        Draw something you love. Maybe a bottle of Chita?

        1. Gustave Lytton

          Ok, you sucked me in. This one at least.

          https://imgur.com/xywTNvT

          1. straffinrun

            Almost empty. Now you got an excuse to get another bottle.

          2. Gustave Lytton

            From a picture. Bottle is long gone to the recyclers. Sadly, liquor run doesn’t overcome my wife’s desire for me to finish my promised honey do minor home renovations. Maybe next year after the Olympics when the stunning new beautiful Harajuku and Tanagawa Gateway stations are open.

    1. Scruffy Nerfherder

      But why?

      1. Rhywun

        Another fresh kill for cancel culture?

    2. The scansion is terrible, anyway.

      The same goes for “You’re So Vain”.

    3. Rhywun

      If only we Africans could share the light and get the right information, I can say confidently that we can be the best in the entire world. As an African and a Nigerian, I know we can be the best in the world.

      Make Africa Superior Again

      1. Spudalicious

        MASA?!?

        1. Rhywun

          LOL!

    4. Count Potato

      “There are no wild dogs calling to each other in the night! That doesn’t exist. I’m not only a meteorologist, I’m also a Savannah ecologist, and the concept of wild dogs calling to each other in the night irritates me immensely, because wild dogs don’t call to each other in the night at all. They don’t even really call to each other during the day! They’re thinking of hyenas, not dogs.”

      OFFS!

      Someone should write “AKSHUALLY” on a 2X4 and hit this guy in the nuts with it, forever.

      1. Tulip

        I don’t get the ‘obsession’ with that stupid, annoying song, but come on. Who cares?!

        1. Count Potato

          I’m not a fan, but it is excellent composition.

      2. True Fact:

        Toto was named after the toilet company.

    5. blackjack

      I gotta mention that citing Toto in a drawing post is apropos. They could really hold the line.

      1. Crusty Juggler

        That was A-ha’s “Take On Me.”

          1. blackjack

            Far better song than “Africa,” BTW.

    6. Gustave Lytton

      Now do Band Aid.

    7. J. Frank Parnell

      Next on buzzkill central: an architect, a carpenter, and a theologian fact-check Stairway to Heaven

    8. J. Frank Parnell

      Can a person really rock and roll all night and party every day? A sleep expert says no.

      1. Sir Digby

        How about “part of every day”?

        1. Tejicano

          Wait a minute… Are you saying that wasn’t the lyrics? OH – now I get it!!

          1. Sir Digby

            (((They))) sure know how to rock!

            I believe they had this one song…it was about the singer’s dick. And, how this chick was gonna get some of his dick.

  9. blackjack

    Yeah, when I was a kid, I was way into art. My brother and I made a bunch of money painting Christmas scenes on business windows. There are people who live all year off the money they make doing that for two months. I used to draw up a storm, but now I’m not quite as good.

    1. Tulip

      Yeah, the skills really atrophy. At least it means practice can bring them back

  10. Thanks a whole lot for drawing my nose.
    I’ll be expecting royalties for this.

  11. straffinrun

    A style that Scuffy, Timeloose and Rhywun might prefer.

    https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=TAsUxmIwikc

    1. Rhywun

      *nightmare flashbacks*

  12. Caput Lupinum

    Count me in. I’ll find something to draw… not sure what. Something with good shadows, my hatching needs work.

  13. A guy I knew in middle and high school was an incredible artist. I mean, really, really talented with pen and ink. He’d do a lot of stuff with Marvel characters, sort of full scene pen and ink pictures. He never went anywhere with it, though, which I always thought was a shame. Doesn’t bother him any, which is what’s important, but I don’t know…if I had a talent along those lines I think I would have at least kept up with it. Same with music with several of my friends. Played in bands and stuff like that, but stopped and never picked it back up.

    1. one true athena

      My son’s like that right now in high school. HIs art teachers fawn over him and are doing everything they can to keep him going in art. People coo over his paintings, and he’s already been paid for a logo he designed. I hope he keeps it up, but yeah, interests change and you can’t really stop that. It would definitely be a shame.

  14. Tres Cool

    What if I turn the lips pic 90º and re-title it ?

    1. Spudalicious

      Pink Taco?

    2. straffinrun

      My wife laying down?

      1. Tres Cool

        I know better. Asians have horizontal slant vagine. Duh.

      2. Count Potato

        Dlaw me rike your Flench girls?

    3. Sir Digby

      What if I turn the lips pic 90º

      Dammit, Tres….takin’ my idea, that I totally had well before you had it!

      1. straffinrun

        Wasn’t supposed to be a whoreshack test.

        1. Sir Digby

          Buuut….you won’t be disappointed if it works out that way, right?

  15. Count Potato

    I can’t even draw curtains.

    1. Count Potato

      LOL

    2. Ozymandias

      Best reply by A MILE:

      Replying to
      @slasherdaysaint
      For 10 bucks and a bag of Pizza Rolls Mark will tell your grandma she’s moving into the nursing home.
      @launce3mustoe

      Holy Shit.

    3. Spud’s Sloppy Seconds
      1. Crusty Juggler

        Gilbert Gottfried is the best. I am seriously considering to pay him after my friend’s wife has their child, but only if it is via c-section so that I can ask Gilbert to comment on my friend’s wife’s vagina.

        All for like 150.

        Thank you, Al gore.

        1. Spud’s Sloppy Seconds

          Manny Pacquiao is $1000! Someone needs to check his ego.

          1. Crusty Juggler

            Chris D’Elia is $50,000. That’s a man who knows.

          2. Rhywun

            I don’t even know who that is.

          3. Crusty Juggler

            You could have just said, “I am old.”

            Oldie.

          4. Rhywun

            Make Aging Great Again

    4. Rhywun

      It looks like his latest face lift didn’t take – ack!

      1. Mark is not aging gracefully, apparently.

  16. Crusty Juggler

    Fun fact: Sugar Ray, The Goo Goo Dolls, and Fastball toured together in ’99.

    1. Crusty Juggler

      Sugar Ray and Everlast also toured together in ’99…what was that like?

    2. Rhywun

      I prefer ’89 Goo Goo Dolls.

      1. J. Frank Parnell

        Nice. I saw Goo Goo Dolls in ’90 or ’91 when they did a free concert at my college. I was one of about 5 people in the audience. I immediately went out and bought their most recent album and listened to it constantly for the next several months.

        1. Rhywun

          I should pick that up – I have Jed. I know they were getting more “commercial” by then….

          Being locals it was kind of neat seeing them shopping at the “cool” record store one time.

    3. Fun fact: Motley Crue, Def Leppard, and Poison are touring next year.

      Poison. Ugh.

      1. Spud’s Sloppy Seconds

        That’s the rumor. Is it official yet?

        Also, Poison is a much much-maligned band. Kinda like Steely Dan.

        1. Chafed

          So you’re saying they should be maligned?

          1. Spud’s Sloppy Seconds

            I know…confusing.

            Poison is a better band than many give them credit for.

            Steely Dan…I will take a second look listen at.

        2. Oh, it’s official. I hadn’t said anything here because Imknow the late-night Glibs will roll their eyes at me and say, “Oh there she goes again, like no other bands exist.”

          1. Spud’s Sloppy Seconds

            Here’s an interesting quote from your guy, Nikki. I have to say I agree with him:

            “Legally, we can’t play again,” bassist Nikki Sixx claimed to Rolling Stone backstage at a 2014 show in Denver. “The only loophole is if all four band members agreed to do it, we could override our own contract. But we know that will never happen. There are people in this band who will refuse to ever do it again, and you’re talking to one of them. There is no amount of money that would ever make me do it again because I have such pride in how we’re ending it.”

            “If anybody ever — and I don’t believe anybody ever would — would call any other band members and say, ‘Hey, it’s been 10 years, let’s just do 10 shows. A million a pop,’ it could never happen unless all four band members agreed,” Sixx added. “And if we did agree, the way we’ve set it up — including this conversation right now — we’d have so much egg on our face. We have so much pride that that alone would stop it.”

          2. Crusty Juggler

            Nikki’s the best.

          3. I get the feeling that Nikki is the peacemaker between Tommy and Vince. Mick does and has always kept to himself, stayed quiet, and let the others do their thing.

            It occurs to me he might just be bored and want to get back on stage. SixxAM isn’t doing anything—hasn’t done anything for years, so maybe that’s tapped out. They never intended to do a tour in the first place and Heroin Diaries was a side project of the book and intended to be once and done. Quite frankly, SixxAM is a better band with better (more interesting) material.

            So…boredom? Missing the stage? That’s my bet.

          4. Spud’s Sloppy Seconds

            The stage. The fans. That’s what it’s all about.

            It’s just frustrating that they somehow thought they could get their “fix” without being in Motley Crue, and then that it only took 4 1/2 years to change their minds. If they had done this 10+ years from now, I don’t think it would be such a big deal.

          5. Spud’s Sloppy Seconds

            I know “we’re putting the band back together” is official (and they used the Tommy Lee actor from their movie to announce it? WTF?). But I haven’t yet seen any official tour info.

      2. Crusty Juggler

        Never trust a big butt and a smile.

        1. Sir Digby

          How about big tiddies and a smirk?

          ‘Cause, I’m OK with giving that a bit of thrust trust.

      3. Chafed

        If I bought a ticket or a VIP package to Motley’s last tour I would be PISSED. That was supposed to be it. No more Motley Crue. Last time to see them, etc.

        I know plenty of other bands have done the same thing. They are hardly alone. But… there was a lot of history leading up to their announcement. They knew how it would be perceived. They were sober, financially sound, and their last album was a good one. In other words, they no reason to end it unless they wanted too and no excuse for making the announcement if they didn’t mean it.

        I’m sure the tour will go fine and they’ll make a ton of money. But to my mind, they stepped in shit and the stink hasn’t worn off.

        1. Spud’s Sloppy Seconds

          Throw Mick’s health issues into the mix and yeah…everyone thought they meant it.

          Even the apologists on SiriusXM are saying, “we all knew they’d do it…but so quickly?!”

          There’s people that dropped a LOT money for all the “extra” bullshit that surrounded the last tour. Fuck the Crue.

          1. Mick is one slip-and-fall away from a coffin.

          2. Chafed

            This is true. I’ll grudgingly admit if the tour was somehow connected to his health then I would give them a pass.

          3. Oh you mean like if it’s last hurrah?

          4. Chafed

            Yes

          5. Sir Digby

            #ISmellToastTour

        2. Much as I love Crue, I am not happy about this. They moved on. We moved on. No GenXers taking their Zoomers to see Motley Crue since Zoomers don’t seem to listen to rock anyway (or so it seems to me)—the last concert I went to was Rush Snakes & Arrows and all us middle-aged fat folks were there having a good time. Many other couples brought their teenage kids who sat there bored and sulky like it was church.

          1. Chafed

            If Ozzy ever gets healthy enough to tour again I’m taking my 14 year old. She loves when her old man rocks out and genuinely likes quite a bit of the metal I listen too.

      4. Gustave Lytton

        Same ol’ sugar to me?

  17. Count Potato

    Is it illegal to burn down a cable company?

    If I press 1 for English, I get someone who can’t speak English.

    If I press 2 for Spanish, I get someone who doesn’t know anything in Spanish.

    There should be a third button, where I just get random ape noises.

    1. Crusty Juggler

      It’s legal in Trump’s America.

    2. random ape noises

      Thats a band name if I’ve ever heard one

  18. CPRM

    Can I just photoshop it?

    1. Spud’s Sloppy Seconds

      You get to work in the animation mines, you unemployed ne’er-do-well!

      1. CPRM

        New cartoon rendering now, the mines are fruitful….and I’m not unemployed, I’m under-employed, still got my self-employment work.

        1. Spud’s Sloppy Seconds

          Blessing in disguise, hopefully? Start kicking ass on your own stuff? Think big!

          1. CPRM

            I think it’s time to look for a full time job, in poverty is getting boring.

          2. Spud’s Sloppy Seconds

            It happens to the best of us. Don’t let it get you down. You never know what and where it may lead.

    1. cyto

      Someone never read Fahrenheit 451.

      It is supposed to be the Firemen who use the dogs, not the police.

    2. Chafed

      I wonder when it will go full Robocop.

      1. You have seven seconds to comply.

  19. Crusty Juggler

    Hey, Big Juggs, what’s stupider than the other stupid things you have posted tonight?

    ‘Ford v Ferrari’ is the climate change horror film nobody needed

    This post contains spoilers for Ford v Ferrari, a bad movie that you should not see.

    omg

    The scene is, in itself, a neat metaphor for our society’s addiction to fossil fuels: Even in the face of disaster, Shelby is too addicted to speed and glory to fathom not refueling his vehicle. He has a compulsion to continue doing literally the exact same thing over and over and over again, even if it threatens to kill him and those around him. The ensuing two and a half hours of Ford v Ferrari are slick with the same uncanny symbolism: Though director James Mangold never once even winks at the negative environmental effects of combusting all that gasoline, he has unwittingly managed to create a striking cinematic allegory for the climate crisis.

    Well then.

    1. Spud’s Sloppy Seconds

      Wait…your nickname is “Big Juggs”?

      1. Crusty Juggler

        Yes.

      2. Chafed

        I thought it some sort of weird shot at Tres’ Jugsy.

        1. Sir Digby

          weird shot

          Heh.

    2. Rhywun

      I’m not a car person but after reading that now I want to go buy a can of gasoline and empty it into New York Bay just because I can.

    3. Jarflax

      Hmm, I wasn’t planning to see it but now I feel I should buy a ticket even if I just don’t go to the movie

      1. I also am not a car person, but this actually looked interesting to me.

  20. Crusty Juggler

    This Couple Will Pay You $40K a Year to Watch Their Adorable Golden Retrievers

    Daily responsibilities include taking Milo and Oscar for morning and evening walks, food shopping, running errands and doing the laundry. In exchange, the couple is offering a salary of about $38,500 to $40,000 a year along with room and board.

    The caretaker will be expected to work Monday through Friday and the occasional weekend.

    working weeknds? what is this, Nazi Germany?

    1. Tulip

      There are days when that is tempting.

    2. commodious spittoon

      Did someone rediscover hiring a servant?

      1. Heroic Mulatto

        It’s the UK. They never forgot.

        1. commodious spittoon

          Still going with guess #2: weird sex thing.

          1. Sir Digby

            Paging CPRM. CPRM, please pick up the red courtesy phone.

        2. Gustave Lytton

          +1 tradesmen’s’ entrance to the officer barracks for Other Ranks

    3. Rhywun

      doing the laundry

      Fuck that.

    4. Yusef drives a Kia

      works for me

  21. Cannoli

    Thanks for running this straff! I’ll post something this weekend, I’m thinking I’ll try to sketch the doggo.

  22. kinnath

    In seventh grade, I couldn’t decide whether I wanted to be an artist or a scientist. By ninth grade, I had met enough people with real artistic talent to know that I didn’t have any.

    So I wound up an engineer.

  23. Spudalicious

    Okay, that’s it. Crusty needs to be shunned until he puts his avatar back on. WHO’S WITH ME?!?

    1. Spud’s Sloppy Seconds

      I don’t give a shit about his avatar, but ol’ Big Juggs should be shunned for linking to “Grist”.

      Also, he should be shunned until he puts his avatar back on.

    2. Crusty Juggler

      How about the rest of you take my lead and boycott avatars? Let’s rise up against The Man!

      1. Spudalicious

        Damn. You caved like a Pakistani apartment building in a 4.0 earthquake.

      2. Jarflax

        This site is run by SP. You can’t really rise up against The Man here.

  24. Old Man With Candy

    Monday Night Football would be so much more enjoyable if Booger McFarlane had aphasia.

    1. He has made MNF unwatchable. Thus why I’m watching Cook’s Country recordings instead.

      1. Count Potato

        They have the worst announcers ever.

      2. Old Man With Candy

        Given that it’s The Lamar Jackson Show tonight (so far), I can block out the Snotman.

    2. Rhywun

      Booger, please.

  25. Crusty Juggler

    Anarchy!

    Anarchy!

    Anarchy!

    1. Gustave Lytton

      Attica!

      Attica!

      Attica!

    2. Chafed

      I think I heard the opening chords to Holiday in the Sun during the Patriots game on Sunday.

      1. Sir Digby

        That’s not like “smelling toast”, is it?

        1. Chafed

          I hope not!

          1. Sir Digby

            Same here, bud!

            ::fist bump::

        1. Chafed

          It was the Sex Pistols’ Holiday in the Sun.

          https://youtu.be/2Ah1JM9mf60

    3. J. Frank Parnell

      Say ‘fuck’ in front of your mom!

  26. Count Potato

    “Wanna get off caffeine? Expose your butthole to the sun!”

    https://twitter.com/PetiteNicoco/status/1199115585700937728

    1. Spudalicious

      Would.

    2. Spud’s Sloppy Seconds

      Christ, what an asshole!

    3. cyto

      Uh…. yeah… I suppose getting a sunburn down there would get you moving….

    4. Aus

      Not a terrible idea, some Vitamin D might be good

    5. J. Frank Parnell

      Science!

  27. Count Potato

    “President Trump signs the Preventing Animal Cruelty and Torture (PACT) into law

    The bill makes it a Federal crime to engage in animal crushing”

    https://twitter.com/Breaking911/status/1199136929230573570

    Didn’t Bill Clinton already do that?

    1. Urthona

      Finally the widespread affliction of animal crushing is over.

      1. Rhywun

        At least Congress is finally tackling the difficult problems facing America.

    2. Gustave Lytton

      I remember when people used to say “this is a free country” and “make a federal case out of it” meant it was a big deal.

      1. grrizzly

        Ok boomer.

        1. Sir Digby

          I live for the when someone gets clever enough to mock this in a video with random people doing the “Sooner!” call-back.

          1. Nobody’s stopping you, toots.

          2. Sir Digby

            Well, to be fair, the spousal unit does it whenever someone says “Boomer” to her.

            /it’s not been the “boomer insult, yet

            //I feel no need to record that

            ///I don’t find the night all that lonely

  28. Yusef drives a Kia

    If I don’t promote, nothing happens, We are getting there, all thanks to the Glibs,
    https://www.gofundme.com/f/v8pdm-getting-to-arizona?utm_source=customer&utm_medium=copy_link&utm_campaign=p_cf+share-flow-1
    I promise a future for the 2 of us, ask me for details…

  29. creech

    Geez, wonder what Q will be sketching for us?

    1. Gustave Lytton

      Dick pics.

  30. Crusty Juggler

    Ethan Hunt or James Bond>

    1. Crusty Juggler

      ? I sneezed.

  31. I write because I can’t draw what I WANT to draw, as it appears in my head.

    Your nose is awesome.

    I can’t see your third pic.

    1. CPRM

      And I like directing because other people never get the images I have in my head. I mean, take Hat and Hair, I’m sure few envisioned what I saw in it, and that wasn’t even something I created, and my skills are still to poor in animation to even give my vision justice.

  32. I follow a subreddit called r/awfuleverything. That’s your NSFW warning.

    Not exactly Dalí.

    “Tough landing.” Ya think?.

    1. Sir Digby

      “I think she may be…hurt”

      ?

    2. Rhywun

      Hard pass on #2

      1. It’s not vulgar, just … painful.

        1. Sir Digby

          Why not both??

        2. Rhywun

          I can’t watch stuff like that.

          1. Chafed

            A man after my own heart. No way I’ll watch knowing she is about to suffer a gruesome injury.

          2. Sir Digby

            Wifey bursts into tears when that stuff pops up on TV. Hence, Tosh.0 isn’t something she’s a fan of.

            Of course, his banal, hackneyed edge-leftism (well, of his writers) is grating enough to forego it anyway.

          3. Chafed

            Call me a hypocrite but I like Tosh.O.

          4. Sir Digby

            I like some of the jokes, and he is a better human when he’s not in character (host). I admit I used to watch a lot more than I do, and I have attempted to hate-watch, but, I usually just turn him off after a while.

            It’s that “why give business to people who shit on you, and aren’t prostitutes?” sort of thing for me.

            But, no–I don’t consider you a hypocrite for liking the show.

          5. CPRM

            Tosh was a great comedian. I gave up on the show years ago though.

          6. Rhywun

            Hence, Tosh.0 isn’t something she’s a fan of.

            I saw about 15 seconds of that show one time and said “nope”. Sadly, I missed any horror-injury videos. If that makes me “old”, well… I don’t give a flying fuck.

          7. Sir Digby

            If that makes me “old”

            Not at all, but, I’m not a Millennial, so….

          8. CPRM

            THAT DOES IT, BAD LINK! WORST DAY EVER! Here’s what I meant to link.

  33. CPRM

    New cartoon submitted, will be posted at the behest of TPTB, but it is a Thanksgiving episode. Might be more frequent cartoons for a while.

    1. Sir Digby

      Is this, uh…is this where I spoil the joke again?

      1. CPRM

        Callback!

        1. Sir Digby

          Wait–I’m getting a callback? Like, I crushed that first audition??

          1. CPRM

            Yep, you nailed the audition for the gimp! Show up at 11pm tomorrow and don’t talk, he doesn’t like that.

          2. Sir Digby

            I’ll bring my mask!

            That I rented! I totally rented it.

  34. Sir Digby

    Never mind that shit: Jazz Shaw is much older than I imagined.

    Yeah, I know his “Blue balling” certainly fits an older profile, but, I still figured he was 30’s/40’s.

  35. Chafed

    Enjoy the ratio. That is what the kids say, isn’t it?

    https://mobile.twitter.com/designmom/status/1198580238533439488

    1. CPRM

      Here honey, attack that rapist with my life insurance policy!

    2. Sir Digby

      Bless her stupid, idiotic heart.

      Because, it will never happen. Until, it does.

      1. Chafed

        The myopia is astonishing. She’s not wrong to take measures for all those other things. It’s the smarminess about also physically protecting yourself the chafes (drink!) me.

        1. Sir Digby

          Yes, the insincere use of “safety” and that concept.

          Hey, Professional Mommy–why not both, amirite??

          1. Chafed

            ::fist bump::

  36. CPRM

    I don’t got no work, so I don’t gotta sleep; that’s how sleep works, right? Digby, I sent you a love letter e-mail

    1. Sir Digby

      That’s some tough shit to shovel, man. I hope that they will amend their ways, and I commend you for sticking to your guns. I hope your correspondence doesn’t result in anything negative, but, if it does, be sure to let me know. While I doubt there is anything I can do to help, I will certainly do so.

      Gonna enjoy the kindness being offered…

      1. CPRM

        I hope your correspondence doesn’t result in anything negative

        You mean the one with the boss? Yeah I got fired. I thought you saw and that’s why you paged me on the dog sitting thing.

        1. Sir Digby

          Oh! No, I didn’t see, that–you mentioned your job, and I just thought it fit from the bit I read. Damn…Well, my email makes less sense. I do hope there’s a quick turn-around.

          As for the gift, that was probably some of the biggest (yuge!) laughs for me…from me? Eh, you get it.

          “But, you tell me. Go ahead.” Priceless. Everything was spot-on.

          1. CPRM

            Too much drama for a part-time gig. And yeah, that they would fire me for that when I was doing much more than my pay-grade required, that’s why I made sure I hit the reply-all, so everyone would see what shits they are.

          2. Sir Digby

            I’m sorry they were douches to you and your friend. Like I said, I pray you can find something with a much better culture/command that you enjoy.

          3. CPRM

            Meh, because of the spotty hours I was always thinking about needing to take on another job anyway. So might as well get that regular pay without the hassle. But first I think I’m gonna suckle a bit on that unemployment teet, I’ve never done that before, and crank out more cartoons.

          4. Sir Digby

            I’m up for more cartoons, so, I’ll allow it.

          5. CPRM

            Not my cartoon, but.

          6. Sir Digby

            OK–I admit that I was expecting this.

            A little disappointed, too.

          7. CPRM

            TV Funhouse is Mos def an inspiration of mine, but given what I do, Fun with Real Audio has an out-sized roll, but I can’t find any clips now.

          8. Sir Digby

            I recall some of those episodes.

          9. CPRM

            I found one on Vimeo, it’s shit, but it’s the only one I could find that worked.

          10. CPRM

            “But, you tell me. Go ahead.” Priceless. Everything was spot-on.

            After having a lot of episodes with the Hat controlling Donald, it was fun to show again that he’s an empty vessel controlled by who is on his head, not far off from reality as far as I can tell.

  37. Akira

    OT: I seriously have no idea how to pick out gifts for people. Most other people in my life are 1) earning plenty of disposable income, so they immediately buy something if they want it, and 2) have hobbies/interests that I know absolutely nothing about and wouldn’t know what to buy.

    I wish I could just come to an understanding with people that I love you, I’d do anything for you, but I’m not buying you anything because it’s stressful for me and I’d just end up getting you something stupid.

    1. CPRM

      I’m pretty good at gifts. I think. No one has told me otherwise. But I usually only buy gifts for the kids in the family. When I buy for the adults, I think about what they say they want, and if it’s within my budget I buy it, otherwise I buy based on knowing what they like. But mostly, I just buy things I want that I know others want.

      1. Akira

        Fun fact: My girlfriend is a prolific sleep-talker; I can ask her any question and she’ll honestly answer it. She already spilled the beans on a few of my Christmas gifts that way. Anyway, I just said to her in her sleep, “What did Akira get you for Christmas?” and she listed off about five things that would make excellent gifts for her. They’re on the way.

    2. Sir Digby

      Note to self: Develop prostitute/escort gift certificates. You pay, but don’t have sex with the professional; the recipient gets to have the rendezvous without paying.

      Win. Win.

      1. CPRM

        That sounds like a sound business plan, but given my recent choices, maybe I should seek council before investing.

        1. Sir Digby

          You could certainly check the market, and see if any contractors are willing to participate…

  38. CPRM

    Huh, seems like my body wants to do that sleep thing even if I don’t have job. The body is weak, purify the soul. Good night Sir Digby, I also like this latest episode, which makes me think it’ll bomb.

    1. Sir Digby

      No, I say there are a lot of excellent references/jokes. We shall see.

      ‘Night, yo.

  39. hayeksplosives

    https://www.dailymail.co.uk/sciencetech/article-7724907/Massachusetts-State-Police-quietly-started-using-Boston-Dynamics-robot-dog-Spot-field.html#article-7724907

    The Predator drone started as surveillance-only device. Lasted a few months before the Military requested incorporation of weapons.

    1. Gender Traitor

      Well, it’s right there in the name – Predator – so…yeah! If it wasn’t supposed to…ummm…pred-ate (word? Is now!) they’d have called it the Observer, amirite?/sarc

      Good morning, hay! I hope all’s well witcha!

    2. Gender Traitor

      Haven’t watched the video, but from the pics, the “realism” of Spot’s jointed legs sure adds to the “creepy” factor.

  40. Why is it 75 in my office? By the time the sun hits our windows (Western exposure), it will be over 80 in here. I shouldn’t have my desk fan going five days before December.

    1. Gender Traitor

      I usually have the same problem. I’m lucky enough to be in an office just because I process staff payroll and have everybody’s pay rates out on my desk every two weeks. My window faces north, but it’s STILL usually hot enough that I have to turn a fan on. We just can’t seem to get our computerized thermostat right. In other parts of the (one-story) building, my co-workers in the open areas with cubicles are usually cold.

      1. Gender Traitor

        (my “office” = private office)

      2. We’re icky IT people, so we don’t have building space of our own, and everyone just shoves us aside when they want to make use of the space we’re currently in. So we end up pushed into the worst spots available.

        Nevermind the fact that the same people who can’t even let us control our own office space always want something from us to make their jobs easier.

      3. I’m lucky enough to be in an office just because I process staff payroll and have everybody’s pay rates out on my desk every two weeks.

        Hmm, handling highly confidential information didn’t stop them from jamming us in an open office layout…

        There are days when I miss my broomcloset office in the law firm.

        1. I’d love to have a door. I swear, my biggest stressors are the noise and proxmity of coworkers.

          1. Gustave Lytton

            My desk is behind two doors, one of which is permanently locked.

    2. PieInTheSky

      I just crack open a window when I get in.

      1. PieInTheSky

        I am usually warm in winter because I do not like to wear multiple layer and wear a tshirt or something in the office, I usually have a sweater on but the tshirt people keep trying to raise the temperature.

      2. The windows here don’t open.

        1. PieInTheSky

          All windows open if you try hard enough

          1. pan fried wylie

            -Jack Handey

  41. AlexinCT

    SKETCH MY DICK PIC!

  42. Tulip

    I wanted to work on watercolors. So, it didn’t go well. https://photos.app.goo.gl/ZZhAByv9Mxr1Y52V7

  43. Tulip

    Here’s a second, different attempt. https://photos.app.goo.gl/xBChCCPc2qfSHchf9. This includes the reference – a photo my nephew took.