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  • Saturday Morning Plain Ol’ Links

    We’re already preparing for the four day weekend. Large delivery of alcohol from Total Wine (I love living in 2019 America!), including a few bottles of Feteasca Neagra in honor of the Glibs’ favorite vampire, and the spiritous components of dbleagle’s egg nog. I found some delicata squash, and am about to do some ambitious grocery collection. Mom keeps asking us if she’s eaten yet (she just put away about a football player’s ration), then tells us she’s not hungry. We’ll give her a couple of glasses of vodka (“It’s local Artesian water! Good for you!!!”) to quiet her a bit. Maybe give some to Wonder Dog as well. I should lay off because after I drink, I start tweeting.

    Then again, there’s birthdays to celebrate, including the greatest horror actor ever– EVER; a guy who makes you wonder why anyone ever paid any attention to Marcel Marceau;  the fattest pitcher with the shakiest windup; and a horrible cultural appropriator (who taught me everything I know about Mexican cooking).

    Oh yes, news.

     

    In the ongoing circus, “mistakes were made. But don’t worry, not by anyone powerful or famous.”

     

    The downside of automatic bill payment.

     

    Let Joe grope Lindsay. Problem solved. Everyone wins.

     

    In local news: this is impressive. Thank god he passed all of his drug tests.

     

    I have an alibi. The absolute lack of any regard for criminal defendant rights by the people quoted in this article is sadly expected.

     

    Basically, we fucked them into extinction.

     

    I’m not sure of how to get snarky about this.

     

    Grup no more.

     

    Old Guy Music continues my trend of highlighting traditional Jewish musi… fuck it, let’s listen to the Jimi Hendrix of country music.

  • Friday Night “Let’s Get This Weekend Started!” Open Post

    Today I am loving the fact that Total Wine has same day delivery to Chez OMWC/SP. What a great time to be alive.

    We’re also getting out of jail having respite care tomorrow so we can accept an invitation from another of TPTB to dinner with the fam. A couple hours of freedom. Hooray!

    Now I just need my Packers to win on Sunday night and it will be a completely good weekend.

    Anyway, go ahead and enjoy this Friday Night Open Post. I’ll be right over here mixing up a batch of Dbl Eagle’s Aged Eggnog. Cheers!

  • Friday Afternoon Links of “Organization”

    My wife decided to start “organizing” the garage last night and that has continued through until today. I put the word organize in quotes because my wife, bless her, believes the definition of organizing to be “throw away anything that hasn’t been used in the last year”. Now, I put up with that everywhere except for my office and the garage. Even though by conservative estimates we have spent over $1000 replacing the perfectly good things we got rid of. I’m also not saying there wasn’t anything to get rid of in the garage. But, I’ve executed at least 3 rescue sorties involving various tools and stable household chemicals. Tools don’t go bad. Stable chemicals don’t go bad. Why dispose of something perfectly good that there is a high statistical likelihood of purchasing again?

    The other revealing discussion was: “This is why I can never find any of your tools.” Uh, yes. Because they are MY tools. Get your own. We have a little tool kit with a wee hammer, pliers, and drivers of various types for tasks inside. But I caved on that one… because my solution was that she should buy me one of those nice rolling toolboxes with a workbench surface. And because of all of her organizing we have a place to put it! This is the kind of compromise you run a marriage on. On to…. the Links!

    Breaking: Trump supports Constitutional process! I can’t imagine why. If the timing is juuust right, the Senate can start right after the big Primary Tuesday, and spend March-August calling the witnesses Republicans want to hear from, and then, about May, it will be time for the FBI IG prosecutions. Jesus, I sound like those mooks on NRO.

    All your data are belong to us! As an aside, I assume that some agency of the USG will turn out to own that server.

    The Taylor Swift mafia is issuing death threats now. I’d take that less seriously, but you know… darling of the neo-Nazis. Also, crazy 24 year old women.

    Florida Dog, better driver than whatever is driving anything with Canadian plates. “This is great! This is great! If only I could get to the dog park! And the windows down!”

    I’m not saying its aliens, but…

     

  • Great Glibs Debate Series: PieInTheSky vs. Larry Joe

    Our inaugural matchup: Pie vs. Larry Joe! Remember, the Survey Monkey will be open for 24 hours here.

    The question as it was posed to them:

    Given a general libertarian perspective on bodily autonomy taken as a prerequisite, assume an individual has absolute ownership of his own DNA.  Imagine a cloning machine exists such than an individual can take a personal DNA sample and clone a perfect copy of himself.  If someone decides to create clones of himself specifically to kill them, is that murder, or is the clone an extension of that person’s body and, therefore, not murder?
    Pie will argue that it is murder, Larry Joe will argue that it isn’t.

     

    PieInTheSky:What does “an individual has absolute ownership of his own DNA” truly mean? Keeping with the premise, we can assume the DNA can be seen as a form of IP.

    What is DNA? DNA is simply information, data. It is codified in a certain way in organic matter, part of all living things, but, in the end, it is information.

    What is a human? Is an individual just information? I argue against that assumption. An individual is defined as more than just information. A 23andme database does not have the same moral value as the human who spat in a tube. And while we can delete the database, we cannot delete the human. Your DNA does not define you fully. Who looks at a person and sees some DNA?

    A human is an independent sentient biological organism, directed in development by DNA and environment and random chance. From a libertarian perspective, a person’s moral value goes well beyond the bits of data codified in DNA. No one says “all unique DNA configurations have the right to life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness”.  A human has a body, a mind, a consciousness, self-awareness – these are the basis of moral consideration. It does, in fact, contain DNA information, but it is much more than the information in itself. The moment a clone is made, it is an independent organism with the above characteristics. While the biologically stored information is the same as the original, the being is separate. The DNA is incidental at best.  Personhood is not defined by unique stored information, and as such a clone is not its DNA, so it is not under the ownership of the original DNA donor. There is no reason to think they would be.

    Contributing information does not give you right to kill. While children are solely composed on the DNA of the parents, it does not mean the parents can simply jointly decide to kill them at any point through life. DNA data configuration is not relevant in decisions of personhood.

     

     

    Larry Joe:

    Surely some would say, “to create a human life simply to kill it is certainly immoral and murder!” They may be correct with regards to the morality of such an action; but ought it really be considered murder?

    The main defense of this most libertarian of libertarians, wishing to kill a piece of himself for sport, is that we already exclude from murder many classifications of killings of humans. Self-defense of one’s own (or another innocent’s) life is a widely recognized right and justification for killing. Defense of one’s domicile, as reflected in numerous “castle” laws placing the burden of proving malicious intent on the state, is another. In a legal sense we often distinguish murder from manslaughter, typically lacking the “malice aforethought” required for murder. Finally we reach the two most relevant distinctions, those with a murkier moral position and greater social disagreement: suicide and abortion.

    The general libertarian perspective of bodily autonomy is supportive of the right to self-determined suicide; it is in essence the ultimate example of such a right. The act of suicide itself is legal in most of the world, with support for assisting a person in committing suicide gaining support in some U.S. and Australian states, Canada, and some European countries, depending upon circumstances. While many may morally oppose committing or assisting in suicide, there is a growing legal movement toward decriminalization.

    Abortion is a divisive issue with a long history of being considered a moral offense.

    In contrast to the moral considerations, note that abortion is legal (up to various stages of gestation) without a justification in nearly every country in the Northern Hemisphere. Even one of the crowning jewels of classical liberal legislation, the United States Bill of Rights, is interpreted as protecting the “fundamental right” to abortion under the “penumbra” of the right to privacy. The Bill of Rights faces enough attacks; must we libertarians undermine it too?

    Given the numerous exceptions to human killing being considered murder, it seems presumptuous to assume that the killing of a clone must be considered such. If one has complete authority over one’s DNA, how can the government justifiably restrict actions taken to property created through that DNA? How can one justify the killing of a fetus, up to the point of partial delivery, without also permitting the killing of a clone created expressly for that purpose? The moral character of a psycho clone killer is certainly up for debate, but for the government to consider him a murderer is a bridge too far.

    Vote!

  • Friday Morning Links

    Man, that division is not good.

    We’ve reached the end of the week finally. I hope y’all are as excited as I am. And probably more excited than Colts fans, who lost a heartbreaker to the Texans.  In college, Georgia Tech topped NC State in a contest between ACC bottom-feeders. Although I realize that term could apply about 75% of that league. And on the ice, the winners were Boston, NYI, Florida, Philly, Columbus, St Louis, Vancouver, the MINNESOOOOOODA WIIIIIIIIILD!!!!!!, Tampa, Dallas, Toronto, San Jose, and LA.  Jesus, why do they seem to always schedule 2 games one night and then 10 or more the next? You know, a more balanced schedule ensures more visibility for all the teams. Ah, whatever. Bettman gonna Bettman.

    “Hey, everybody. We’re all gonna get laid!”

    Charles de Gaulle was born on this day. He shares it with aviator Wiley Post, comic legend Rodney Dangerfield, M16 designer Eugene Stoner, actor Robert Vaughn, tennis legend Billie Jean King,possible hermaphrodite actress Jamie Lee Curtis, actor Mark Ruffalo and the lovely Scarlett Johansson.

    Well now, let’s get to…the links!

    Let’s see…4 divided by the number of kids on college campuses. Carry the 0, add up the ones that are made-up bullshit. And …whoa! Look there, this shit is basically nonexistent. Oh well, let’s report on it breathlessly.

    Hopefully that smile gets even bigger soon.

    Say your prayers little one. Don’t forget my son, to include everyone…in your $275M lawsuit! Hey NBC: Exit light. Enter night. (Apologies to everyone for the delivery of this link. I almost feel like I offended myself.)

    Looks like the Hunter Biden Griftathon was going on on both sides of the Atlantic. Jesus, this guy is the biggest fuckup since Fredo. Not Fredo Cuomo, but the real Fredo. Well, the fictional character one who was alwa…aw, Jesus, you know who I’m talking about.

    But just in case you needed your Fredo Cuomo fill today after I brought him up too.

    Hopefully the Feds are gonna end this shit.

    The Feds are getting their California homeless plan put together. I wonder if it’ll look as fucked up as the state plans have. I wonder if that’s even possible.

    Local girl does good! Good for her. She really is incredible.

    This is one we can all get behind.

    Now go have a super Friday and a better weekend. (Go Bucks! Beat Penn State!)

  • CFP: the Playoff should not be expanded (and it need not exist at all)

    The following article is pure puffery.  The intention is to deal with a topic thoughtfully but not necessarily thoroughly; further, a fact or two may be more than a bit bent.  Read critically . . . and enjoy!

     

    CFP: the Playoff should not be expanded

    (and it need not exist at all)

    There’s plenty of energy around the college football playoffs, how they should be configured, and who sh

    ould be in them.  Here’s a short essay that makes essentially three short points

    • a playoff isn’t needed at all and never was
    • the shape of a playoff doesn’t matter, but the shorter and smaller it is the better
    • it doesn’t much matter who should be in playoffs.

     

    The quest for national consensus reached critical mass in 1998 with the rollout of the Bowl Championship Series and the crowning of the Tennessee Volunteers as its first champion.  Since there is plenty written about the failings and risks and history of the BCS, we won’t get into describing how the teams were decided other than to say polls and computers arrived at the top two playoff teams who then met to decide the championship.  Before the BCS, any number of polls and agencies (and universities!) declared champions, and everyone got along great agreement was rare.

     

    cogito, ergo sum

    There’s an emotional need for (perceived) exactness and certainly that some people have, so shared or disputed championships have riled nearly everyone:  fans, alumni, players, boosters, and alien visitors in low orbit.  It’s worth noting that plenty of writers and services had, even after Korea, declared national champions before bowl season even started; it was not nationally agreed that post-season play meant anything whatsoever (except, maybe, it proved only that a train ran from Yale to Florida).  Because of conference obligations by bowl, the arguably best two teams seldom met, and odd results from the various bowls that were played made reconciling results impossible, so almost no one invested much energy in the notion of a national champion.  To some extent, though, oxen were gored, and partisans screamed their cases and their critiques, but generally college football was just thought to be a fun diversion.  Meanwhile, three hundred some odd national championships were claimed by various schools to account for the 150 years the game had been played:  there is no right or wrong to any of those.

     

    I guarantee it !

    My notion about the championship fervor is that it has been fueled by the Super Bowl.  The AFL and NFL were not giant leagues:  originally most teams in either met and played once every year in the few (dozen) games, so selecting a champion by record to go the Super Bowl at least demonstrated some logic.  The leagues would eventually grow and merge, and their popularity would soar in the last half of the twentieth century to tacitly symbolize and codify how all sports should be managed and seasons decided.  The consolidated NFL would go on to acquire mythic proportion, displacing baseball as the both the national past-time and triplet to apple pie and motherhood.  Ever since, the pointlessness of its burgeoning playoff schedule has seldom been remarked; the month-long festival came to fairly-well supplant or at least necessarily supplement the traditional holidays.  Essentially, NFL playoffs came to be as emotionally necessary as Christmas, and that mania has corrupted and dominated everything ever since.

     

    With the BCS, the best teams, on the NFL model, met . . . usually.  Somebody had to win that game, and to some extent everyone was satisfied with the single, national result.  Except that many were not, and I would simply point out that the dissatisfied people under the BCS are exactly the same sort of people as were dissatisfied before the BCS.  If your ox was gored before, you were mad; if your ox was gored under BCS, you were still mad.  This is the clearest and easiest critique of the BCS (and of any playoff):  it resolves and it changes precisely nothing about whom we believe is the national champion.

     

     

     

     

     

    The biggest challenges to the credibility of the BCS years are three:

    • Boise State seemed to repeatedly deliver perfect seasons in its humble conference but never earn much consideration for the finale.
    • An undefeated Auburn team (2004?) with one of the best offensive backfields to ever play the game was not voted into the finale.
    • USC and Ohio State won BCS championships while playing critical players who would later be ruled ineligible; indeed, both schools vacated considerable wins from that era. There is no universally satisfactory way to resolve the outcome of those seasons other than individual conjecture, which, of course, is how every season is, in the end, weighed in any regard, playoff or no.

     

    The deepest concern has always been that deciding the top two teams has never been unanimous.  For many, the one-game BCS finale could never be relied upon to make sure that an excellent, deserving third- or fourth-placed team might unfairly miss the big game.  A longer, wider playoff would at least settle the question of polls, especially if a politburo of unassailable nobles could be convened to pick the four top teams without being corrupted by the influence of computers or polls or conference bias.

    Thus was born the College Football Playoff system.  Under the CFP, four teams play single elimination games in January to decide the previous year’s champion, and, generally, there has been a reduced tension about the outcome.  But the logic for the four teams is not universally satisfactory and still raises a few questions.

    Two four-seeds and a three- have made it into the CFP finale; both fours- won.  This doesn’t solve or prove anything, though!  Some are consoled that the champion, obviously the best team post hoc, survived being underrated (fourth!) to make it into the playoff and prove themselves:  four teams works!  But it might be that even more people are more certain now than ever that the playoff should be broadened:  there well might be seven- and eight-seed teams that would win out if only they had the chance.  Logic only tells us one thing:  this argument never ends, no matter how many teams are added to the playoffs; someone will still argue the list, same as before, same as before there was a list.

     

    Statistics tells us something worse:  more playoff games afford more chances for the best team to fail to make it to the finale.  By whatever criteria one might agree that a team is the best at the end of the season, and, to the extent that doG on his throne in Heaven could make sure that team was selected by the CFP committee to play amongst the final, say, sixteen, the extra games give that “best team” a greater chance to stumble and fall out of the process.  This theoretically best team might lose a low-scoring affair by a single point to a team that is then eliminated in the next round, thinly as well, and so on . . . leaving us eventually with a champion who narrowly backed into winning it all after having a demonstrably worse season, which even a child would criticize.

    This high-lights another question of ranking teams:  what does a win prove?  A game is a sort of coin flip, but you need to imagine a coin, in the case of 2019 Clemson, that probably comes up heads 90% of the time.  As UNC proved this year, one needs only a tiny fraction of luck to be the team that is in town when tails comes up; more to the point:  UNC had the coin standing on edge until it finally fell heads (insert sad trombone sound here).  Pointy balls bounce exceedingly odd, but nothing went wrong enough for Clemson that UNC could prevail . . . but more than a dash of luck was involved in the final outcome.  We only get to flip the coin a dozen times:  football is a brutal sport that can not be mounted more than once a week; there is only so much of this ammo you can take to this kind of range, but a decision must be made.  Single elimination means every added playoff layer increases, not reduces, the likelihood of a dubious champion.  Ergo, a shorter playoff is better.

     

    The CFP’s committee picks four teams today; the criteria for the four are arguably arbitrary, and the selections are capricious.  The ballots are secret, and there is essentially no way to quash concerns about the equity of the process and whether even the supposed criteria are respected.  Season win-loss, conference championships, and strength-of-schedule are presumed to dominate considerations, but there is no system to say how the decisions were made much less how they should be made.

    Other emotional criteria can never be resolved to the satisfaction of the losers.  For example, what does it even mean to have the best team of the season?  Is it to have been the best team on some weighted week-by-week basis?  Is there a weighting of SoS over results that is unambiguously determinant?  These questions have never been settled, with or without a playoff.

     

    How does a season-ending injury to a critical player count:  is his team diminished in the now because of who they are, or is some fudge factor needed to credit them for who they should be?  Returning to that first BCS championship:  Chris Weinke, one of the greatest college quarterbacks of all time, was injured and did not play; as close as the game ended, it is hard to imagine Florida State not winning had Weinke played; by extension, they were the best team at the end of the year . .  up until the moment he was injured. . . but they lost the finale without him.  On a related track:  one notion that is fairly universal is the belief that a loss early in the season is, ceteris paribus, more forgivable than a later loss.

    From these foregoing examples, one can see two things:  it is impossible to agree on how to weigh schedule and injury impact on the one hand, but, on the other:  the only thing most people agree on (forgiving an early loss) is silly on its face.

     

    So where does all this leave us?  Well, the process for determining the champion has never been solid, agreed, or rational.  Further, there is no process or breadth of scale that will eliminate disputes at the end of the season even in the playoff is expanded.  This leads us to conclude only one thing:  there is no unemotional need for a playoff . . . of any size.  Choose your champion at the end of the regular season by whatever criteria you prefer, and then watch the championship, however it might be configured, merely for the love of the game.

  • Not-Thanksgiving Day Thursday Afternoon Links

    It only took me three weeks to get it into my head that Thanksgiving is “late” this year. Although I did get to eat turkey and dressing for lunch today with my kindergartener. Mmm. School lunch. Also, it would be nice if the Texans didn’t play like turkeys tonight. Not holding my breath.

    Speaking of NFL and turkeys, I was kind of wondering why Mason Rudolph was holding a press conference yesterday to say he was all good with Myles Garrett. I suspected something like this.

    SpaceX would have us believe this was intended to be a test to failure. Don’t get me wrong, its good data to have. People usually announce these things BEFORE, though.

    Getting a DUI in Nashville doesn’t make you the next George Jones.

    I think my favorite part of this survey is… 74% of Poles think “Jews still talk too much about what happened in the Holocaust.” Anti-semitism is like totalitarianism, always descending on the US and landing in Europe.

    If only we had some effective way of controlling the population of mosquitoes. My wife and I were talking about how they don’t spray by truck anymore. Also, the number of people contracting dengue, West Nile and EEE in the US are growing. I wonder if there could be a correlation…


    SugarFree’s Dem Deathwatch

    Wayne Messam is no more. The candidate for President that you didn’t even know was running has dropped out. He never broke a margin of error in support, never got on the debate stage, and only had name recognition in the small Florida city he is the mayor of…

    Good night, sweet nobody,
    and flights of local reporters sing thee to thy rest

  • 3rd Annual Glib Community Thanksgiving Recipe Post!

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    A note about the format for this post: I’ve added the recipes accordion style to avoid having multiple tabs open and to prevent having to scroll for miles to see them all. When you click on the + on the right side of an item, the previous item you were looking at will close. Depending on the speed of your connection, it may take a second for your browser to bring the new item to the top of the screen. Note that the recipes are now organized by category. Each category’s accordion functions only for that section.

    Each item has a print button. You may save or print the recipe as a pdf, or just simply make it easier to have the one you want open on your mobile device without all the rest of the page clutter.

    I’ve included the recipes from last year’s post, but not a couple items from 2017 that were narratives. You can read that post here.

    Enjoy these Thanksgiving recipes contributed by your fellow Glibs!

    Happy Thanksgiving!
    ~ SP

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    BEVERAGES

    [/et_pb_text][et_pb_accordion disabled_on=”off|off|off” admin_label=”beverage accordion” module_class=”my_accordian” _builder_version=”4.0.5″][et_pb_accordion_item open=”on” _builder_version=”4.0.5″ overflow-x=”hidden” overflow-y=”hidden” overflow-x_tablet=”” overflow-x_phone=”” overflow-x_last_edited=”on|phone” custom_css_open_toggle=”display: none” custom_css_toggle_title=”display: none” custom_css_toggle_icon=”display: none” custom_css_toggle_content=”display: none” custom_css_toggle=”display: none”][/et_pb_accordion_item][et_pb_accordion_item title=”A note on Thanksgiving wine pairings by Spudalicious” _builder_version=”4.0.5″ open=”off”]

    print as pdf

     

    I’m going to go through what I consider to be decent wine pairings for the traditional Thanksgiving meal.

    We’re talking turkey, stuffing, mashed potatoes, a boatload of gravy, cranberry sauce and the token side dishes that only Aunt Martha eats.

    This is a high salt, high fat, carb rich environment. It can also be a wine killer. And turkey really doesn’t pair well with heavy wines. My overall suggestion is that you want a wine that can cut through all of that. Meaning, leave your high dollar Cabernets and your big, blousy, oak filled Chardonnays in the cellar. All they will do is add to the heaviness of the meal.

    White wines

    Light, crisp, aromatic, those are all descriptions to look for in a white wine pairing. One of my favorites is a dry Gewurztraminer. I’m not talking about the majority of the wines available that have too much residual sugar, I’m talking about a lighter in body, fruity, spicy dry white. A producer I would point to is Navarro Vineyards.

    Another white that would fit the bill is a dry Riesling. DRY people, DRY. Navarro also fits the bill quite well here. You could also go German and look for a Riesling in the Kabinett, or maybe the Spatlese category. It will depend on the producer.

    Sauvignon Blanc is also a good choice. Just keep an eye on the alcohol level. Some of the New Zealand brands would fit well, just don’t go too crisp and dry. You want to cut through the richness of the meal, not hack it to bits with a machete.

    If you insist on Chardonnay, go with one of the many unoaked versions now on the market. They are crisper and still maintain the Chardonnay flavor profile. Two to choose from would be Joel Gott and Mer et Soleil Silver Label. These are both in the $15-20 range.

    Rosé

    Avoid domestic producers. Almost all of them have too much residual sugar. Look to Rosés from the south of France, such as Provence, or Italy. They are dry and crisp and would be a good foil to the meal.

    Red wines

    As I mentioned earlier, avoid the Cabernet. Save it for Christmas Eve prime rib.

    Georges Debouf is a marketing genius. Around this time of year, Beaujolais Noeveau is released. It’s a young, fresh light red from France made from the Gamay grape. It goes well with heavy dishes. Traditional Beaujolais would also work well. Fruity and not too heavy.

    Pinot Noir. Love, love, love a good Pinot for Thanksgiving. This is my go to. Go with what you like but given what’s happened with the alcohol levels in Pinot Noir, I would avoid anything much above 14% and most preferably, below. Oregon Pinot would be a good choice here.

    Domestic Syrah these days are pretty much a variation on Pinot in structure. Stay away from the big alcohol versions and you should do okay. Sierra Foothills and some of the choices from Washington State should be just fine. As much as I would love to tell you to go with a Cote Rotie from France, I just don’t think this is the place for it.

    One big red that I have found does seem to work well on Thanksgiving is Zinfandel. Avoid the monsters over 15% alcohol and try and find something a little more balanced. Sierra Foothills is again a place to look to to fit the bill.

    What about the pumpkin pie?

    This is where the sticky white wines go. As long as your pie isn’t too sweet, this is the time to pour small glasses of late harvest Gewürztraminer, Riesling, Muscat, or a Sauternes. Again, go with a small pour. It’s the end of the meal and a few sips will be plenty to cap off the event.

    The other alternative to the above suggestions?

    Drink whatever you want. Box, jug, homemade, whatever. If it you like it and it makes you happy, go with it. It is, after all, Thanksgiving. A time to enjoy friends and family, and reflect on just how good we’ve got it compared to those poor saps who didn’t hit the lottery and get to be an American.

    [/et_pb_accordion_item][et_pb_accordion_item title=”DblEagle’s Aged Eggnog” _builder_version=”3.17.6″ open=”off”]

    DblEagle's Aged Eggnog

    • Dozen egg yolks (reserve the whites for something else)
    • 1 lb sugar
    • 1 pint half and half
    • 1 pint heavy cream
    • 1 pint whole milk
    • 1 cup rum
    • 1 cup cognac
    • 1 cup bourbon
    • 1 teaspoon nutmeg ( freshly grated is best)
    • 1/4 teaspoon (kosher) salt
    1. Beat egg yolks, sugar and nutmeg until falls off a whisk in a smooth ribbon
    2. Combine the dairy, booze and salt in different container
    3. Slowly beat the booze mixture into the egg mixture
    4. Store in glass container(s) for 2 weeks to 2 months* in refrigerator
    5. Serve in glasses with nutmeg (fresh is best) garnish

    * You can drink immediately (and I have) but the aging time enables the tastes to smoothly combine


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    Autumnal Cocktail from RC Dean

    Not sure what the name of this one is, but the maple syrup makes it very autumnal.

    • 3 oz. Rye or bourbon (- I prefer rye for just about any cocktail)
    • 3/4 oz. Orange Juice
    • 1/3 oz. Lemon Juice
    • 3/4 oz Dark Maple Syrup
    • 4-6 dashes bitters (Angostura works, but I also like Woodford Reserve Bourbon Barrel)
    • Seltzer couple ounces
    • Orange garnish (optional)
    1. I originally saw this “stirred, not shaken”. In my experience, you may not get the maple syrup to fully dissolve by stirring, so I prefer to make this one in my trusty shaker (also, drinks with citrus are classically shaken). The RC Dean method is to put everything but the seltzer and garnish in a shaker, pour over ice, top with seltzer and garnish.
    2. Protip: if you add the seltzer to the shaker, you will get a spectacular mess, so don’t do that.


    [/et_pb_accordion_item][/et_pb_accordion][et_pb_text admin_label=”APPS AND BREADS” _builder_version=”4.0.5″ text_orientation=”center”]

    APPETIZERS & BREADS

    [/et_pb_text][et_pb_accordion admin_label=”appetizers and breads accordion” module_class=”my_accordian” _builder_version=”4.0.5″][et_pb_accordion_item open=”on” _builder_version=”4.0.5″ custom_css_open_toggle=”display: none” custom_css_toggle_title=”display: none” custom_css_toggle_icon=”display: none” custom_css_toggle_content=”display: none” custom_css_toggle=”display: none”][/et_pb_accordion_item][et_pb_accordion_item title=”Artichoke Dip by jesse.in.mb” _builder_version=”3.17.6″ open=”off”]

    Artichoke Dip

    Use fresh dill because dried dill is for little bitches, as is spinach in artichoke dip…get that filler out of here!

    • 1 14 ounce can artichoke hearts (drained)
    • 1 8 ounce package cream cheese
    • 1 cup grated good Parmesan cheese
    • 1/2 cup mayonnaise
    • 1 clove garlic peeled
    • 1 teaspoon dill weed or to taste
    1. Preheat oven to 400F
    2. Process the artichoke hearts in a food processor until smooth.
    3. Add cream cheese, Parmesan, mayonnaise, garlic and dill to the artichoke mixture in the food processor and process until desired texture, but well blended.
    4. Spoon into a 9-inch pie pan.
    5. Bake 10 to 15 minutes, or until bubbly and light golden brown.


    [/et_pb_accordion_item][et_pb_accordion_item title=”SP’s Easy Dinner Rolls – Vegan (or Not)” _builder_version=”3.17.6″ open=”off”]

    SP’s Easy Dinner Rolls – Vegan (or Not)

    (Use the ingredients in the parentheses for Not Vegan)

    • 2 tbsp white sugar ((or honey))
    • 1/2 tsp salt
    • 1 2-1/4 tsp packet rapid-rise yeast
    • 2 cups unbleached all-purpose flour give or take – divided
    • 1/2 cup unsweetened plain almond milk ((or regular milk))
    • 1/4 cup water
    • 2 tbsp margarine and a bit more for finishing ((or butter))
    1. With a small whisk, combine the sugar, salt, yeast and 1 cup of flour in a small bowl.
    2. In a microwave safe bowl or measuring cup, heat milk, water, and margarine or butter to about 105F. If it’s too hot, let it cool a bit before using.
    3. Place the dry ingredients into the bowl of a food processor or stand mixer. With the machine running, pour in the liquid ingredients. Process or mix for 2 minutes or so. Scrape the bowl sides, add 1/2 cup more flour and beat or process until a soft dough forms, about 2 more minutes. The dough will be sticky, but should loosely hold its shape.
    4. If the dough is too soft, mix in the rest of the flour a tablespoon at a time until the dough is still soft but holds shape. Turn the dough out and let it rest on a floured surface, covered, for 10-15 minutes.
    5. Meanwhile, grease an 8-inch round cake pan. An actual 8-inch pan, not man “8-inches.”
    6. Divide the dough into 8-12 pieces and shape into rounds. (I am a little compulsive, so I weigh the dough to have rolls of the same size at the end.) Place the shaped rolls in the greased cake pan, cover and let rise until doubled, about 45 minutes.
    7. While the rolls are rising, preheat the oven to 375F.
    8. Bake the rolls for 20 minutes or until nicely browned. If you wish, brush the top of the rolls with a little melted margarine or butter. Serve pretty close to immediately.

    And you thought you couldn’t bake yeast breads from scratch!


    [/et_pb_accordion_item][et_pb_accordion_item title=”Jennifer Reese’s Cornbread – contributed by jesse.in.mb” _builder_version=”3.17.6″ open=”off”]

    Jennifer Reese's Cornbread

    • 6 tablespoons 3/4 stick unsalted butter
    • 1 cup all-purpose flour
    • 1 cup white or yellow cornmeal (whatever grind you like)
    • 1/2 cup sugar
    • 4 teaspoons baking powder
    • 1 teaspoon kosher salt
    • 2 large eggs
    • 1 cup milk
    1. Preheat the oven to 375°F. Put the butter in a 10-inch pie plate and place it in the oven to melt.
    2. Mix the flour, cornmeal, sugar, baking powder, and salt in a large bowl. In a smaller bowl, whisk together the eggs and milk.
    3. When the butter has melted, take the pie plate out of the oven and swirl the butter around to coat the pan.
    4. Let it cool for 1 or 2 minutes, then pour the butter into the milk-egg mixture. Whisk to combine.
    5. Whisk the liquid into the dry mixture–not too strenuously. A few lumps are okay.
    6. Pour into the pie plate and bake for 25 minutes. When it is done, the bread will be slightly puffed and a toothpick inserted in the middle will come out clean.
    7. Serve immediately. Leftovers keep for a few days, covered, at room temperature.


    [/et_pb_accordion_item][et_pb_accordion_item title=”westernsloper’s Candied Jalapenos” _builder_version=”4.0.5″ open=”off”]

    westernsloper’s Candied Jalapenos

    There was a place in Phoenix (can’t remember the name) that topped one of their burgers with candied japs and it was great. I had to try and duplicate it and this is what I came up with.

    • 10 japs sliced
    • 6 baby carrots sliced longways into 1/4’s
    • 1 c water
    • 1/2 c White Vinegar
    • 1/2 c Apple Cider Vinegar
    • 1-1/2 c sugar
    1. Bring liquid to boil, add sugar and dissolve.
    2. Add japs and simmer/slow boil/reduce until mixture is bubbly and thick (couple hours or so).
    3. Jar it up and refrigerate. Top burgers, pulled pork, anything.

    SP’s note: I bet this would be killer on a leftover-turkey sandwich!

    [/et_pb_accordion_item][et_pb_accordion_item title=”Tulip’s Mother’s French Landlady’s Bread Recipe” _builder_version=”3.17.6″ open=”off”]

    Tulip's Mother's French Landlady's Bread Recipe

    This no fuss recipe is what a French housewife actually made. To make the recipe even easier, my mother, who is in her 80s, uses a food processor to mix the dough. Just be careful not to over work it. I get better results with the spoon. If you over work it, you don’t get the air pockets.

    • 1/2 c scalded milk
    • 1 c water
    • 1 1/2 T sugar
    • 1-1/2 T butter
    • 1/4 c additional warm water
    • 1 pkg yeast
    • 4 c flour
    • 2 tsp salt
    • 1/2 T sugar
    1. Add 1 c water, butter and sugar to scalded milk.
    2. Cool to lukewarm.
    3. Add 1/4 c water and yeast. Rest 10 minutes.
    4. Add flour salt and sugar. Beat 100 strokes with wooden spoon.
    5. Let rise 2 hours.
    6. Cut into 2 and shape into loaves.
    7. Put loaves on greased sheet and sprinkle with cornmeal. Slash tops and let rise 30 minutes or more.
    8. Bake at 400 for 15 minutes then at 350 for 30 minutes more.

    It is not as good as what you get with a poolish, but adding steam during the bake gets the flaky crust. It is also easy easy easy, so worth it. I use it as a canvas – so easy to change to a honey wheat or oatmeal etc. I also think of it as truly authentic.

    My favorite variation is sub 1 cup oatmeal for 1 cup flour and replace the sugar with brown sugar. Put the oatmeal in a bowl with the butter and brown sugar. Pour the scalded milk over the oatmeal and let cool to lukewarm. Then continue as normal.


    [/et_pb_accordion_item][et_pb_accordion_item title=”Pistoffnick’s Smoked Fish” _builder_version=”4.0.5″ open=”off”]

    Pistoffnick's Smoked Fish

    This is what my brother looks forward to every T-day. I do too.

    • 5 pounds salmon, trout or whitefish ((salmon is my favorite))

    BRINE

    • 1 quart cool water
    • 1/3 cup kosher salt (about 2 ounces of any kosher salt)
    • 1 cup Stevia or 1 cup brown sugar if you are not low carb
    1. Cure the Fish. Mix together the brine ingredients and place your fish in a non-reactive container (plastic or glass), cover and put in the refrigerator. This curing process eliminates some of the moisture from the inside of the fish while at the same time infusing it with salt, which will help preserve the salmon.
    2. You will need to cure your salmon at least 4 hours, even for thin fillets from trout or pink salmon. In my experience, large trout or whitefish, as well as pink, sockeye and silver salmon need 8 hours. A really thick piece of king salmon might need as much as 36 hours in the brine. Never go more than 48 hours, however, or your fish will be too salty(there is no such thing as too salty, ok, maybe there is but…). Double the brine if it’s not enough to cover the fish.
    3. Dry the Fish. Take your fish out of the brine and pat it dry. Set the fillets on your cooling rack, skin side down. Ideally you’d do this right under a ceiling fan set on high, or outside in a cool, breezy place. By “cool” I mean 60°F or cooler. Let the fish dry for 2 to 4 hours (or up to overnight in the fridge). You want the surface of the fish to develop a shiny skin called a pellicle. This is one step many beginning smokers fail to do, but drying your cured, brined fish in a cool, breezy place is vital to properly smoking it. The pellicle, which is a thin, lacquer-like layer on top of the fish, seals it and offers a sticky surface for the smoke to adhere to. Don’t worry, the salt in the brine will protect your fish from spoilage. Once you have your pellicle, you can refrigerate your fish for a few hours and smoke it later if you’d like.
    4. Smoke your fish. Start by slicking the skin of your fish with some oil, so it won’t stick to the smoker rack. Know that even though this is hot smoking, you still do not want high temperatures. Start with a small fire and work your way up as you go. It is important to bring the temperature up gradually or you will get that white albumin “bleed” on the meat. I can control my heat with my smoker, so I start the process between 140°F and 150°F for up to an hour, then finish at 175°F for a final hour or two. NOTE: What my smoker is set at is not necessarily what the actual temperature is. Smoking is an art, not a science. To keep temperatures mild, always put water in your drip pan to keep the temperature down. If your smoker is very hot, like a Traeger can get, put ice in the tray. I generally soak apple wood chip in water for at least an hour, then drain them, then put them in an aluminum foil pouch. The pouch gets place next to the burners of your grill (which is set to low.
    5. Baste the Fish. After an hour in the smoker, baste the fish with water (or honey, or maple syrup); do this every hour. This is a good way to brush away any albumin that might form. In most cases, you will get a little. You just don’t want a ton of it. Even if you can’t control your temperature this precisely, you get the general idea. You goal should be an internal temperature of about 130°F to 140°F.
    6. You must be careful about your heat. Other than failing to dry your salmon long enough, the single biggest problem in smoking salmon is too high heat. If you’ve ever seen salmon “bleed” a white, creamy substance, that’s a protein called albumin, a little is normal.
    7. Cool and Store the Fish. Once your fish is smoked, let it rest on the cooling rack for an hour before you put it in the fridge. Once refrigerated and wrapped in plastic, smoked fish will keep for 10 days. If you vacuum-seal it, the fish will keep for up to 3 weeks. Or freeze your fish for up to a year. But, come on, stuff this good never lasts more than a week.

    [/et_pb_accordion_item][et_pb_accordion_item title=”No-Knead Sourdough Bread Variations by jesse.in.mb” _builder_version=”4.0.5″ open=”off”]

    No-Knead Sourdough Bread Variations by jesse.in.mb

    I’ve done a few variations of this with the addition of quarter cup of potato starch and doing it in the processor instead of no-knead. I did it half whole wheat and it still came out really well.

    • 1 cup 227g ripe (fed) sourdough starter
    • 1 3/4 cups 397g lukewarm water
    • 5 cups 602g King Arthur Unbleached Bread Flour
    • 1 tablespoon 18g salt
    • 2 teaspoons diastatic malt powder (optional for a more golden color and stronger rise)
    1. Weigh your flour; or measure it by gently spooning it into a cup, then sweeping off any excess.
    2. Combine all the ingredients in a large mixing bowl, or a large (6-quart) food-safe plastic bucket.
    3. Mix and stir everything together to make a sticky, rough dough. If you have a stand mixer, beat at medium speed with the paddle attachment for 30 to 60 seconds. If you don’t have a mixer, just stir with a big spoon or dough whisk until everything is combined.
    4. Leave the dough in the bucket or 6-quart bowl, cover it with the bucket’s lid or a piece of plastic wrap, and let it rise for 1 hour.
    5. Gently pick up the dough and fold it over on itself several times, cover it again, and let it rise for another hour.
    6. Repeat the rising-folding process one more time (for a total of 3 hours), folding it again after the last hour. Then, place the bucket or bowl in the refrigerator, and let the dough rest for at least 8 hours (or up to 48 hours).
    7. When you’re ready to make bread, turn the dough out onto a well-floured work surface, and shape it into a rough ball. Leave the dough seam-side up, cover it, and let it rest on a floured surface for 15 minutes.
    8. Next, shape the dough to fit the vessel in which you’ll bake it: a 13” log for a long covered baker; or a large boule (round) for a round baker or Dutch oven. Place the shaped dough into the lightly-greased or semolina-dusted base of the baker and cover it with the lid.
    9. Let the loaf warm to room temperature and rise; this should take about 2 1/2 to 3 hours. It won’t appear to rise upwards that much, but will relax and expand.
    10. With a rack positioned in the middle, start preheating the oven to 500°F one hour before you’re ready to bake.
    11. Just before baking, dust the loaf with a fine coat of flour and use a lame or a sharp knife to make one or several 1/2” deep slashes through its top surface. If you’re baking a long loaf, one arched slash down the loaf lengthwise is nice, or if baking a round, a crosshatch or crisscross pattern works well.
    12. Cover the baker with its lid and place it in the oven. Reduce the oven temperature to 450°F and bake the bread for 45 minutes.
    13. Remove the cover of the baker and bake the bread for 10 to 15 minutes longer, until the bread is deep golden brown and crusty, and a digital thermometer inserted into the center of the loaf reads at least 210°F.
    14. Remove the bread from the oven and transfer it to a rack to cool completely.
    15. Store leftover bread in a plastic bag at room temperature for several days; freeze for longer storage.

    [/et_pb_accordion_item][et_pb_accordion_item title=”Pan Cornbread by Hayeksplosives” _builder_version=”4.0.5″ open=”off”]

    Pan Cornbread by Hayeksplosives

    Good for making stuffing crumbs if you live in a horrid place where cornbread is not sold in stores.

    • 2 ½ cups all purpose flour
    • ½ cup coarse ground corn meal
    • ½ cup sugar
    • 4 tsp baking powder
    • 1 tsp salt
    • 2 cups skim milk
    • ¼ cup vegetable oil
    • 2 eggs beaten
    1. Heat oven to 400°. Grease 9×12 inch pan. Combine dry ingredients. Stir in milk, oil, and egg, mixing just until dry ingredients are moistened. Pour batter into prepared pan. Bake 20-25 minutes or until light golden brown and wooden pick inserted in center comes out clean.

    [/et_pb_accordion_item][/et_pb_accordion][et_pb_text admin_label=”CRANBERRIES & SALADS” _builder_version=”4.0.5″ text_orientation=”center”]

    CRANBERRIES & SALADS

    [/et_pb_text][et_pb_accordion admin_label=”CRANBERRIES AND SALADS accordion” module_class=”my_accordian” _builder_version=”4.0.5″][et_pb_accordion_item open=”on” _builder_version=”4.0.5″ custom_css_open_toggle=”display: none” custom_css_toggle_title=”display: none” custom_css_toggle_icon=”display: none” custom_css_toggle_content=”display: none” custom_css_toggle=”display: none”][/et_pb_accordion_item][et_pb_accordion_item title=”Semi-Spartan Dad’s Cranberry Compote” _builder_version=”3.17.6″ open=”off”]

    Semi-Spartan Dad's Cranberry Compote

    These are simple recipes that are easy for anyone to reproduce. I don’t use measurements when cooking so these are just estimates. The recipes have been cobbled together from various sources over the years, including online sites, but I can’t remember where to give credit or where I modified. I set up a buffet of warming trays and my recipes are all portioned for the half-size trays (gravy excluded).

    1. Put (3) 1-pound bags of whole cranberries into large saucepot.
    2. Add 1.5 cup of orange juice, 2-1/4 cup sugar, nutmeg, pinch of cinnamon and salt.
    3. Start on high heat, once boiling- cover and turn down to simmer.
    4. Cook 30-35min and stir every 10 minutes. Turn heat off and let sit with cover for 20-25 min.
    5. Pour into tray and place in the fridge.


    [/et_pb_accordion_item][et_pb_accordion_item title=”Spudalicious’s Cranberry Sauce” _builder_version=”3.17.6″ open=”off”]

    Spudalicious's Cranberry Sauce

    1. One bag cranberries, one cup sugar, one cup orange juice and some orange zest.
    2. Bring to a simmer and cook until the berries pop.


    [/et_pb_accordion_item][et_pb_accordion_item title=”24 Hour Salad by Hayeksplosives” _builder_version=”3.17.6″ open=”off”]

    24 Hour Salad by Hayeksplosives

    Stays good for days, even after tossing. Great with Thanksgiving leftovers.

    • 6 cups chopped lettuce 2-3 Romaine or one large iceberg (divided in half)
    • 1 teaspoon sugar
    • 1 teaspoon salt and pepper
    • 6 hard-boiled eggs sliced
    • 1 10- oz pkg frozen green peas thawed
    • 2 stalks celery chopped
    • 1 small can sliced black olives drained
    • 1 lb bacon cooked (drained and crumbled)
    • 16 ounces swiss or cheddar cheese (shredded. I usually chop pre-sliced swiss.)
    • 3/4 cup mayonnaise
    • 1/2 cup sour cream
    • 1/4 cup green onion chopped
    1. Place 3 cups lettuce in bottom of large glass bowl. (Doesn’t need to be glass, but it makes for a nice layered presentation before tossing.)
    2. Sprinkle with sugar, salt, and pepper.
    3. Layer eggs over lettuce, lining up a few around the edge of the bowl for looks.
    4. Layer peas, celery, olives, remaining lettuce, bacon, and cheese.
    5. Whisk together mayo and sour cream. Spread over top, sealing to edge of bowl.
    6. Sprinkle green onions over the top.
    7. Chill for 24 to 48 hours.
    8. Toss. Add a little cream or water if needed to thin dressing.
    9. Make additions/substitutions as desired.


    [/et_pb_accordion_item][et_pb_accordion_item title=”KibbledKristen’s Ma’s Grape Juice Mold” _builder_version=”3.17.6″ open=”off”]

    KibbledKristen's Ma’s Grape Juice Mold

    • One box lemon gelatin
    • One box raspberry gelatin
    • 16 oz. one bag frozen unsweetened raspberries
    • 1 brick of cream cheese
    • 1 1/2 cups grape juice
    • 1/2 cup boiling water
    • ~2 tbsp sugar
    1. Coat a standard loaf pan with cooking spray.
    2. Place raspberries in a wire strainer over a large bowl and sprinkle sugar on top. Allow to thaw completely, tossing occasionally. Reserve juices.
    3. Bloom/dissolve lemon jello in boiling water (approx. 5 minutes). Add cream cheese and grape juice to blender. After jello is bloomed, crank blender to high and slowly pour in lemon jello while blender is running. Pour into loaf pan. Cover and refrigerate until jello is firm set.
    4. Add water to reserved raspberry juice to equal 1 3/4 cups (sometimes I go to 1 1/2 cups if the raspberries are particularly juicy). Nuke juice/water to just shy of boiling. Add raspberry jello and stir until dissolved. Gently stir in thawed raspberries.
    5. Cover and refrigerate raspberry jello until is it cool and egg white consistency. Pour/spoon raspberry jello over lemon jello/cream cheese in loaf pan. Cover and refrigerate at least 2 hours.
    6. Slice with a spatula and serve over a leaf of Bibb lettuce.


    [/et_pb_accordion_item][et_pb_accordion_item title=”Web Dom’s Bean Salad” _builder_version=”3.17.6″ open=”off”]

    Web Dom's Bean Salad

    • 1 15 oz can black beans
    • 1 15 oz can garbanzo beans
    • 2 15 oz cans dark red kidney beans
    • 1 15 oz can great northern beans
    • 1 pkg frozen corn
    • 1 pkg frozen peas
    • 1 large white onion chopped

    Dressing

    • 3/4 c olive oil
    • 2-1/2 tbsp apple cider vinegar
    • 2-1/2 tbsp white wine vinegar
    • 1 tsp balsamic vinegar
    • 1-1/2 tbsp maple syrup can be omitted
    • 1/2 tsp celery salt
    • 5 cloves garlic grated on a Microplane
    • 1/2 tsp black pepper freshly ground
    • salt (to taste)
    1. Drain and rinse beans.
    2. Combine with onion, peas, and corn in a large glass bowl.
    3. Make the dressing to taste, adjusting the vinegars, etc., as needed.
    4. Pour dressing over the veg.
    5. Mix well and chill before serving.


    [/et_pb_accordion_item][et_pb_accordion_item title=”Aunt Dude’s Cranberry Salad / Garnish by Hayeksplosives” _builder_version=”4.0.5″ open=”off”]

    Aunt Dude’s Cranberry Salad / Garnish by Hayeksplosives

    • 1 lb ground cranberries
    • 2 ½ cups sugar
    • 1 lb. Red seedless grapes
    • 2-3 bananas
    • ½ cup pecans or walnuts (broken or coarsely chopped)
    • ½ pint sour cream
    1. Grind cranberries in blender, using water to cover while grinding and then straining the water out. Mix cranberries and sugar and let stand overnight for the sugar to dissolve and sweeten, then refrigerate until ready to mix. Chill grapes, bananas, and nuts several hours before mixing. Shortly before serving, add the grapes, bananas, nuts, and sour cream to the cranberry-sugar mixture and keep in the refrigerator until serving.

    [/et_pb_accordion_item][/et_pb_accordion][et_pb_text admin_label=”SOUPS & SIDES” _builder_version=”4.0.5″ text_orientation=”center”]

    SOUPS & SIDES

    [/et_pb_text][et_pb_accordion admin_label=”Soups & Sides ACCORDION” module_class=”my_accordian” _builder_version=”4.0.5″][et_pb_accordion_item open=”on” _builder_version=”4.0.5″ custom_css_open_toggle=”display: none” custom_css_toggle_title=”display: none” custom_css_toggle_icon=”display: none” custom_css_toggle_content=”display: none” custom_css_toggle=”display: none”][/et_pb_accordion_item][et_pb_accordion_item title=”Celeriac Gratin by OMWC” _builder_version=”3.17.6″ open=”off”]

    Celeriac Gratin by OMWC

    Celeriac (celery root) is the red-headed stepchild of winter root vegetables. Yet this is a dish that Spudalicious and I used to make on the regular, and our non-vegetarian friends would start demanding it in advance. I can’t ever recall having leftovers. It features Raclette cheese, the pride of Switzerland. Gruyère will work but not be nearly as fun-funky. Take the trouble to find Raclette, and the Swiss kind is slightly better than French for this. Yes, this recipe makes a lot of pots to clean up, but that’s why God invented dishwashers and orphans. It’s worth it, trust me.

    • 2 lbs celeriac peeled and cubed (peeling is a pain in the ass, but necessary)
    • 2 lbs Yukon Gold potatoes ( peeled and cubed)
    • 1 c heavy cream
    • 1/2 c butter
    • 1/2 – 1 tsp saffron depending on your bank balance (it's definitely cheaper in Indian groceries than at Whole Foods)
    • 2 cloves garlic finely minced
    • 1-1/2 c Gruyère grated
    • 1 c Raclette grated
    • Salt and pepper
    • 1/2 c Italian flat-leaf parsley (chopped)
    1. Boil the celeriac in salted water until it’s soft (check by piercing with a skewer or paring knife). Scoop out and drain. Return the water to a boil and add the potatoes, cooking until they’re soft. Drain.
    2. While the potatoes cook, heat the cream until it boils, then stir in the butter, saffron, and garlic. Reduce the heat, then simmer for 5 minutes until the saffron is extracted and the mixture slightly thickened. Set aside.
    3. In a large bowl, puree the celeriac (you could use a food processor; I prefer a hand-held Braun immersion blender), while gradually adding the cream sauce. Mash the potatoes coarsely, or use a ricer if you want a smoother texture. Combine the potato, celery root, and one cup of the Gruyère; season to taste with salt and pepper.
    4. Spread the mixture in a greased oven-proof dish, top with the remaining cheese and the parsley, then bake in a preheated 400F degree oven until the top is browned, about 20-30 minutes.

    Wine pairing would include crisp whites like Seyval (Bully Hill makes an excellent and inexpensive one). Chardonnay from Macon or (if you’re lucky) Beaujolais is a superb match as well. I would not fart in your general direction if you defaulted to a dry Vouvray, which might be easier to find.


    [/et_pb_accordion_item][et_pb_accordion_item title=”Mom Lachowsky’s Chile Cheese Grits” _builder_version=”3.17.6″ open=”off”]

    Mom Lachowsky's Chile Cheese Grits

    • 3 cups water
    • salt
    • 1 garlic clove minced
    • 1 cup quick-cooking grits
    • 1/2 cup butter cubed
    • 1-1/2 cups shredded cheddar cheese
    • 3 tablespoons chopped green chilies
    • 2 eggs
    • 1/2 cup milk
    1. Bring water, salt and garlic to a boil in a pan, then stir in grits.
    2. Reduce heat; cook and stir for 3-5 minutes or until thickened. Remove from the heat.
    3. Add butter, 1 cup cheese and chilies; stir until butter melts.
    4. Beat eggs and milk; add to the grits and mix well.
    5. Pour into a greased baking dish and then bake, uncovered, at 350° for 45 minutes.
    6. Sprinkle with remaining cheese and serve.


    [/et_pb_accordion_item][et_pb_accordion_item title=”Semi-Spartan Dad’s Pecan Glazed Sweet Potato Casserole” _builder_version=”3.17.6″ open=”off”]

    Semi-Spartan Dad's Pecan Glazed Sweet Potato Casserole

    These are simple recipes that are easy for anyone to reproduce. I don’t use measurements when cooking so these are just estimates. The recipes have been cobbled together from various sources over the years, including online sites, but I can’t remember where to give credit or where I modified. I set up a buffet of warming trays and my recipes are all portioned for the half-size trays (gravy excluded).

    1. Roast 5 large sweet potatoes in oven for 1.25 hours @ 375F

    2. Mix sweet potato, 1/2 cup brown sugar, 2 beaten eggs, 1/2 teaspoon salt, 4 tbsp butter, 1/2 cup milk (cut with cream), 1/2 tsp vanilla extract, cinnamon. Place in baking dish.
    3. For topping: Mix 1/2 cup brown sugar and 1/3 cup flour. Cut 4 softened tbsp butter in until mixture is course. Stir in 1/2 cup chopped pecans.
    4. Layer topping over sweet potatoes. Bake 30 min @325F.


    [/et_pb_accordion_item][et_pb_accordion_item title=”Chipping Pioneer’s Party Potatoes” _builder_version=”3.17.6″ open=”off”]

    Chipping Pioneer's Party Potatoes

    • 1 bag frozen hash brown potatoes little cube form (thawed)
    • 1/2 c butter (melted)
    • 2 c cheddar cheese (grated or your choice – – something smoked is good)
    • 1/2 c chopped onion
    • 2 c full fat sour cream (I cannot stress to the wife enough how low fat sour cream is inadequate yet there it is in the refrigerator)
    • 1 tsp salt
    • 1 tin cream of chicken soup
    1. Preheat oven to 350F.
    2. Mixed thawed potatoes with melted butter.
    3. Add remaining ingredients and mix well.
    4. Spread in a greased 9×9 casserole dish.
    5. Bake 1 hour at 350.


    [/et_pb_accordion_item][et_pb_accordion_item title=”DblEagle’s Zucchini Strudel” _builder_version=”3.17.6″ open=”off”]

    DblEagle's Zucchini Strudel

    • 6-8 decent sized squash all zucchini or mix with yellow squash depending on your garden and taste
    • 8 eggs
    • dill
    • black pepper
    • 3-6 cloves garlic (minced)
    • 8 oz feta cheese
    • phyllo dough
    • melted butter
    1. Preheat oven to 350F.
    2. Grate squash.
    3. Layer into a strainer with salt between layers.
    4. Let drain 3 hours.
    5. In a bowl mix: Eggs, dill, black pepper and garlic. (Don’t be shy with the dill or garlic).
    6. Crumple feta cheese into the egg mixture.
    7. Mix the ingredients.
    8. Return to the squash. Squeeze the fluid out handful by handful (generally 2X per handful since drier the better).
    9. Add squash to egg mixture and mix well.
    10. Pour into baking pan/casserole pan.
    11. Cover the mix with 5-8 pieces of phyllo dough, covering dough with melted butter between layers.
    12. Bake at 350 for one hour.
    13. Serve hot or cold.


    [/et_pb_accordion_item][et_pb_accordion_item title=”Mashed Potato Croquettes by Nephilium” _builder_version=”4.0.5″ open=”off”]

    Mashed Potato Croquettes by Nephilium

    • 3-4 lb. potatoes
    • 8 oz. butter
    • Salt and pepper to taste
    • Panko

    Optional:

    • 4-6 strips of bacon (cut into lardons [small pieces] and fried)
    • 2-4 oz. shredded Cheddar cheese
    • 1/4-1/2 tsp. Roasted Garlic powder or crushed rosemary
    1. Cut the potatoes into equal sized pieces, and boil in salted water until fork tender (approximately 20 minutes). Mash the potatoes with the butter, salt, pepper, and any other optional ingredients. Let the mashed potatoes cool to the touch. Then roll them into approximately 1-2″ balls (or cylinders), and coat in panko.
    2. You have several options to finish them, you can either freeze them and then deep fry them (if you’re already deep frying your turkey), or you can oven roast them at ~350 F for 30-45 minutes (or until golden brown). If you’re baking them, and want them to get more golden, you can mix in a couple of drops of oil into the panko (you want it barely damp, not wet).

    For the optional ingredients, do what ever flavors you want. Chorizo, Garlic, Cheddar, Bacon, Pancetta, Rosemary, Pepper jack, Sour Cream, Chives, Chipotle pepper are all valid options. Just remember you don’t want the potatoes too loose, and if you’re deep frying them, you may want to wrap the potatoes around any cheese to seal it in.

    [/et_pb_accordion_item][et_pb_accordion_item title=”Leap’s Cheesy Broccoli and Rice” _builder_version=”4.0.5″ open=”off”]

    Leap's Cheesy Broccoli and Rice

    Its exactly what the name suggests.  No picture, use your fucking imagination.  The trick is the use of sodium citrate ( https://www.cooksillustrated.com/science/830-articles/story/cooks-science-explains-sodium-citrate).  You can go order it now on the Internet and it will be here in real life in time.

    • Rice
    • Butter
    • Salt
    • Broccoli (fresh or thawed, but not cooked)
    • Chicken Stock
    • Sodium Citrate
    • Corn Starch
    • Cheese (get 2 or 3 kinds that don't suck, and shred them)
    • Black Pepper Grinder
    • Hot Sauce (Minnesoda glibs can replace it with lemon juice, but you need the acid to prevent long strands of cheese)
    • No amounts listed because I hate you

    Directions:

    1. A day before, make some rice and stash it in the fridge in a plastic bag. Once its cold, break up all the clumps. That’s why you used a bag.
    2. Start drinking. Once the cheese is shredded, there are no sharp tools involved.
    3. Heat a pot to medium heat. Melt the butter. Add broccoli and rice. Stir to combine.

    4. Add to pot just enough chicken stock to get everything a little wet. Add a few splashes of hot sauce and a few grinds of black pepper. Add salt.

    5. In a drinking glass, mix chicken stock and corn starch. Once mixed, add like 1/8 tablespoon of sodium citrate and mix again. Seriously my dude it doesn’t take much. Add to pot.
    6. Let sauce bubble a little and thicken. Once thickened, remove from heat.
    7. Immediately begin adding cheese one slow handful at a time and stir while adding. The cheese will melt into the protosauce. You should have pounded like two martinis on an empty stomach by this point, so yell out Chicken Gravy… Digivolve to Cheese Sauce!

    8. It is ready to serve once the cheese is melted and you’ve yelled loud enough to secure your position as “drunk Uncle at Thanksgiving”.

    [/et_pb_accordion_item][et_pb_accordion_item title=”SP’s Autumn Sweet Potato Soup” _builder_version=”4.0.5″ open=”off”]

    SP’s Autumn Sweet Potato Soup

    I was looking for a way to make dinner just using ingredients on hand. This recipe was the result. It’s even vegan!

    • 2 large sweet potatoes
    • 2 tablespoons olive oil
    • 1 medium onion (chopped)
    • 1 large clove garlic (minced)
    • 1 teaspoon ground allspice
    • 1/2 teaspoon ground dry ginger
    • 1 cup dry white wine
    • 4 cups tomato puree
    • 1 cup vegetable broth
    • 1/4 cup peanut butter
    • Freshly ground black pepper and salt to taste
    1. After pricking sweet potatoes all over with a fork or knife, microwave until soft, about 10 minutes. Set aside to cool.
    2. Heat oil in a Dutch oven over medium heat. Add onion and sauté until the onion begins to brown. Add the garlic and cook, stirring, for another couple minutes.
    3. Add the ginger and allspice; cook, stirring, until fragrant.
    4. Deglaze the pan with the white wine.
    5. Add the tomato puree and vegetable broth to the pan. Simmer on medium high for 8-12 minutes.
    6. Scoop the soft pulp out of the cooked sweet potatoes and put into a food processor bowl. Add the peanut butter. Ladle in a couple cups of the cooking soup liquid. Process until smooth.
    7. Add the puréed sweet potato mixture to the Dutch oven, stirring well to incorporate.
    8. Thin the soup with more broth or wine, as desired.
    9. Heat again until hot. Taste and adjust seasoning.

    Variation: You can add hot New Mexican green chile to individual bowls, if your diners are not wimps.

    [/et_pb_accordion_item][et_pb_accordion_item title=”Cannoli’s Carrot %22Candy%22″ _builder_version=”4.0.5″ open=”off”]

    Cannoli's Carrot "Candy"

    When I was little, my parents rebranded this recipe from souffle to carrot candy in a successful attempt to get my sisters and me to try it (we were very picky eaters). The name was apt, and it became an instant holiday staple. It’s a little bit like mashed sweet potatoes, but better.

    • 2 lbs carrots
    • 1 cup butter or margarine
    • 4 large eggs
    • 1/3 cup all-purpose flour
    • 2 teaspoons baking powder
    • 2 cups sugar
    • 1/4 teaspoon ground cinnamon
    1. Peel the carrots and slice thin (I slice them in the food processor to speed things up).
    2. Cook carrots in boiling water to cover, 15 minutes or until tender, drain well.
    3. Process carrot and remaining ingredients in a food processor until smooth, stopping once to scrape down sides.
    4. Spoon into 2 lightly greased 1 ½-quart souffle or baking dishes.
    5. Bake at 350 for 1 hour or until set and lightly browned.
    6. Serve immediately.

    [/et_pb_accordion_item][et_pb_accordion_item title=”Holiday Brussels Sprouts by OMWC” _builder_version=”4.0.5″ open=”off”]

    Holiday Brussels Sprouts by OMWC

    Spud and OMWC served this to many a Brussels sprouts skeptic, and no-one actually threw up. It’s excellent and became a holiday staple for us. Wine match: Gruener Veltliner

    • 1 – 1 ½ lbs – Brussels sprouts (you want the small, firm ones, IYKWIMAITYD)
    • 2-3 tbsp Olive oil
    • 2 tbsp Balsamic vinegar
    • 1/4 cup water or light vegetable broth
    • ¼ cup butter
    • ½ cup chopped pecans
    1. Trim off the outer leaves and the very bottom of the Brussels sprouts. Cut them in half lengthwise.
    2. In a heavy pan (cast iron works very well), add olive oil, then sauté the sprouts on their flat side over medium-high heat until they start to brown. Add the balsamic vinegar, turn the heat to low and cover.
    3. After a couple of minutes, add ¼ cup of water. Cook until the sprouts start to soften, ~ 8-10 minutes. They should brown but not burn.
    4. Turn the heat back up to high, add the butter and the pecans. Saute for a minute or so, until the pecans are lightly toasted.
    5. Add salt and pepper to taste, then introduce your new little friends to whomever is having dinner with you.

    [/et_pb_accordion_item][et_pb_accordion_item title=”Gender Traitor’s Tortellini Soup” _builder_version=”4.0.5″ open=”off”]

    Gender Traitor's Tortellini Soup

    The following is a recipe I got from my MIL. We usually serve it when we host my two sisters and BIL for Christmas.

    • 1 lb. bulk Italian sausage
    • 9 oz. pkg. cheese tortellini
    • 9 oz. pkg. spinach tortellini (I usually get one 20 oz. pkg of mixed tortellini instead of the two 9 oz. pkgs.)
    • 1/2 lb. shredded cabbage
    • 2 med. zucchini (sliced)
    • 1 med. green pepper (diced)
    • 4 green onions (sliced)
    • 3 med. tomatoes (diced)
    • 3 tbsp. basil
    • 5 10-1/2 oz. cans beef broth (or 6 1/4 cups from boxed broth)
    • 6 cups water
    • Parmesan cheese
    1. Make Italian sausage into small balls. Add all ingredients except cheese. Cook until sausage is done and veggies are tender. (I like to cook it long enough for the cheese from the tortellini to thicken the broth nicely.) Top with cheese.

    [/et_pb_accordion_item][et_pb_accordion_item title=”Tortellini Bowling Soup by Spudalicious” _builder_version=”4.0.5″ open=”off”]

    Tortellini Bowling Soup by Spudalicious

    • 1 lb Italian sausage (hot, mild, or a combination)
    • 1 cup coarsely chopped onions
    • 2 cloves garlic (minced)
    • 46 oz beef stock
    • 1/2 cup water
    • 1/2 cup red wine
    • 14 oz can diced tomatoes
    • 1 cup tomato sauce
    • 1 cup thinly sliced carrots
    • 1/2 tsp dried basil
    • 1/2 tsp dried oregano
    • 6 oz fresh spinach (coarsely chopped)
    • 1 red (or yellow bell pepper, chopped)
    • 8 oz package of fresh cheese tortellini
    1. Brown sausage in a dutch oven(remove casings first if they are links. Remove to a bowl.
    2. Saute onions and garlic in sausage drippings.
    3. Add next eight ingredients and the sausage, bring to a boil, then reduce to a simmer. Simmer for 30 minutes.
    4. Add spinach, tortellini and bell pepper. Simmer for another 30 minutes.
    5. Ladle into a bowl, sprinkle with Parmesan.

    [/et_pb_accordion_item][et_pb_accordion_item title=”Molasses Glazed Carrots by Chipwooder” _builder_version=”4.0.5″ open=”off”]

    Molasses Glazed Carrots by Chipwooder

    Here’s one of my favorite Tgiving sides. It’s unhealthy as all hell but hey, it’s Thanksgiving!

    • 1 lbs baby carrots
    • half a stick of butter
    • 1 tbsp sugar
    • 1/4 cup dark molasses
    • 1/2 tsp freshly grated ginger
    • 1/4 tsp allspice
    • pinch of salt
    1. Parboil the carrots for until they start to soften, usually 10-15 minutes. Drain them.
    2. Melt the butter in a skillet, stir in the rest of the ingredients.
    3. Turn the heat up to medium-high, let the mixture start boiling a bit, nice and thick and syrupy.
    4. Add the carrots, reduce the heat to low, simmer for about 10 minutes, stirring frequently to coat.

    [/et_pb_accordion_item][/et_pb_accordion][et_pb_text admin_label=”TURKEY DRESSING GRAVY” _builder_version=”4.0.5″ text_orientation=”center”]

    TURKEY & DRESSING & GRAVY

    [/et_pb_text][et_pb_accordion admin_label=”TURKEY STUFFING GRAVY accordion” module_class=”my_accordian” _builder_version=”4.0.5″ hover_enabled=”0″][et_pb_accordion_item open=”on” _builder_version=”4.0.5″ custom_css_open_toggle=”display: none” custom_css_toggle_title=”display: none” custom_css_toggle_icon=”display: none” custom_css_toggle_content=”display: none” custom_css_toggle=”display: none”][/et_pb_accordion_item][et_pb_accordion_item title=”Semi-Spartan Dad’s Stuffing/Dressing” _builder_version=”3.17.6″ open=”off”]

    Semi-Spartan Dad's Stuffing/Dressing

    These are simple recipes that are easy for anyone to reproduce. I don’t use measurements when cooking so these are just estimates. The recipes have been cobbled together from various sources over the years, including online sites, but I can’t remember where to give credit or where I modified. I set up a buffet of warming trays and my recipes are all portioned for the half-size trays (gravy excluded).

    1. Get 1.5 loaves of French or Italian bread, cut in half, dice into cubes
    2. Toss cubes in bowl with melted butter, olive oil, and seasoning (pepper, salt, sage)
    3. Put in oven on sheet tray for about 15 minutes
    4. Toss cubes in large bowl with salt, pepper
    5. Add sautéed green onions and mushrooms
    6. Add chicken broth to moisten bread (maybe cup and half)
    7. Place in casserole dish and bake in oven for 35-40 minutes @ 350F


    [/et_pb_accordion_item][et_pb_accordion_item title=”Semi-Spartan Dad’s Gravy” _builder_version=”3.17.6″ open=”off”]

    Semi-Spartan Dad's Gravy

    I don’t use measurements when cooking so these are just estimates. The recipes have been cobbled together from various sources over the years, including online sites, but I can’t remember where to give credit or where I modified.

    1. Add giblets to sauce pot with a couple celery stalks, few carrots, half an onion, bay leaves, and parsley.
    2. Fill to top with cold water and simmer while the turkey cooks. Replenish as the liquid cooks down but not close to the end as doing so dilutes the flavor
    3. If roasting a turkey, pour everything in turkey roasting dish through a strainer into new, clean stockpot. If not roasting, there should still be plenty in the giblet stockpot.
    4. Pour the giblet stockpot through strainer into said stockpot (use back of spoon to work through strainer)
    5. Taste, now is the time to add salt and pepper, if needed, and a heavy dose of sage
    6. Use beurre manié or corn starch slurry (1:1) to thicken
    7. Thicken with whisk at slightly below boiling
    8. Place gravy pot in cast iron pan to keep warm


    [/et_pb_accordion_item][et_pb_accordion_item title=”Playa Manhattan’s Superior Turkey & Gravy” _builder_version=”3.17.6″ open=”off”]

    Playa Manhattan's Superior Turkey & Gravy

    If you’re roasting your turkey whole, you’re doing it wrong.

    1. Dark meat: Dry rub and rest for 6 hours. Tightly wrapped in foil, 300F for 6 hours.
    2. White meat: 2 day brine in pineapple juice, MSG and friends, citrus peel, sodium phosphate 10%, smoked salt, peppercorns, and powdered bay leaf. Sous Vide at 145F for 3 hours, 5 minute sear at the end.
    3. Gravy: 1 container Empire Kosher Chicken fat, 2/3rds cup flour. Cook to blonde roux. Add 3 cups rich unseasoned veal stock, whisk in. Seasoned with onion salt, yeast extract, MSG and helpers, and a touch of garlic powder. Skim unincorporated fat from the top.

    I’m pretty comfortable serving this to 30 people next week.


    [/et_pb_accordion_item][et_pb_accordion_item title=”How To Roast a Stuffed Turkey by Count Potato” _builder_version=”3.17.6″ open=”off”]

    How To Roast a Stuffed Turkey by Count Potato

    Based on casual observation most people do it wrong. They try using bacon, aluminum foil, etc. to keep the bird from drying out. Or they soak it in brine which alters the taste and consistency of the meat. Whereas the best way is to keep the natural juices inside the turkey from the beginning.

    1. Get a covered roasting pan with a rack. Mine has a tight-fitting lid with an adjustable vent.
    2. Preheat the oven to 325°F.
    3. Find out how much the turkey weighs. If you bought from a store, it will be written on a label on the package. Otherwise, weigh it on a scale.
    4. Wash, dry, and stuff the turkey. Make sure to sew the neck and tail openings shut. Season it with salt and pepper. I also rub the outside with a mixture of dried herbs. The important thing is that the skin is well-salted.

    5. Place the bird on the rack in the pan. Then pour in a quart of low-salt stock or broth. I used to use chicken stock before turkey broth became widely available.
    6. Cover it with the lid. Put it in the oven.
    7. Estimate the total cooking time by multiplying the weight in pounds by 20 minutes. Leave it in the oven for half that time without opening the lid. No peeking.
    8. After half the total estimated cooking time has passed, remove the lid. Don’t be dismayed if the turkey “looks boiled”. It’s because it will be covered in a whitish pellicle. This is a coating of fat and proteins that will waterproof the bird like Flex Seal. This was demonstrated by the Indians at the first Thanksgiving by sawing a canoe in half.
    9. If you use a thermometer, stick through the center of one of the breasts while being careful not to touch any bone. Put it back in the oven uncovered. Do not baste it until the skin begins to turn golden brown. When it’s done, the legs should move freely, and there shouldn’t be a large amount of liquid pooled around the thighs. You can check by taking a thin knife and cut above where the thigh attaches to the back — there shouldn’t be any pink flesh or red blood around the joint.
    10. After you remove it from the oven. Let it sit for 15 – 20 minutes before carving. I move it to a dish, so I can make gravy from the roasting pan during this time.
    11. Osteoporosis!


    [/et_pb_accordion_item][et_pb_accordion_item title=”Deep Fried Turkey by mexicansharpshooter” _builder_version=”4.0.5″ open=”off”]

    Deep Fried Turkey by mexicansharpshooter

    This is a dangerous but delicious dish to make.

    • 20 lbs Turkey

    For the brine

    • 1 gallon water
    • 1 gallon broth doesn't matter what kind chicken broth is plentiful and cheap
    • 2 cups kosher salt
    • 1 jar whole cloves
    • 2 lemons
    • 2 pkgs fresh rosemary (You can substitute dried but why cheap out?)
    • ginger root ( You can use candied ginger, but I like to shred it and throw it in the brine. Get as much as you dare.)

    For frying

    • 2 gallons peanut oil minimum – see instructions

    The brine

    1. Mix the brine and let the thawed turkey soak in it at least overnight, the longer the better. I normally go 2 nights.

    The fryer

    1. Incidentally, Underwriters Laboratory does not place their coveted seal on any gas fired turkey fryer. This is a dangerous item to have, and can result in serious injury if you are not careful. Especially if you are like me and know how to bypass the thermocouple that acts as a safety device but prevents the oil from getting hot enough. If you are faint of heart—just roast it like the Nancy Boy you are and take up valuable oven space.

    The process

    1. Now that we got that out of the way. You will need a minimum of 2 gallons of peanut oil. Prior to brining, you will need to establish the turkey’s overall displacement by filling the pot with water and marking where the turkey rests in the pot completely submerged. This may exceed the “Do not fill above this line” written inside the pot, but if you made it this far, you probably are ignoring the safety people anyway.
    2. Remove the bird from the brine, and let it dry. A wet turkey will cause you to have a very bad day, and will prove the Nancy Boys at UL right. Don’t do that.
    3. Set the bird in the stand butt down, wings tucked back. Put it in the pot of hot oil SLOWLY.
    4. Ideally, the oil should average around 350F (I can’t help you if you are in Canada), but remember the turkey is cold and will drop the temperature of the oil once you set it in there. I’m usually able to keep it between 325-350F without setting my yard on fire. 3 1/2 minutes per pound should net a result that is moist on the inside, and delightfully crisp skin in the outside. This needs to sit at least 30 mins before carving.

    [/et_pb_accordion_item][et_pb_accordion_item title=”Tundra’s Go-To Turkey Recipe For Those with Rotisserie Grills” _builder_version=”4.0.5″ open=”off”]

    Tundra's Go-To Turkey Recipe For Those with Rotisserie Grills

    Rotisserie Turkey, Dry Brined with Orange and Spices by Mike Vrobel

    Inspired by: Lots of different sources.

    • 12 to 14 lb Turkey
    • fist sized chunk of smoking wood (hickory, oak, pecan or a fruit wood; I love oak wine barrel staves)

    Dry Brine

    • 1/4 cup kosher salt (I used Diamond Crystal; reduce to 3 tbsp if using Mortons, because it is denser.)
    • Zest of 1 orange (save the orange, cut in half and wrapped in plastic wrap to stuff the turkey)
    • 1 teaspoon brown sugar
    • 1 teaspoon grated fresh ginger (about a 1/2 inch piece)
    • 1 teaspoon grated fresh garlic (2 cloves)
    • 1/2 teaspoon fresh ground black pepper
    • 1/4 teaspoon ground cloves
    1. Dry brine the turkey: 1 to 3 days before it is time to cook, dry brine the turkey. Mix the dry brine ingredients in a small bowl, then sprinkle and rub evenly over the turkey. Make sure to rub some inside the cavity of the turkey as well. Put the turkey on a rack over a roasting pan or baking sheet, and cover with plastic wrap. Refrigerate, removing the plastic wrap the night before cooking to allow the skin to dry. (If you are only dry brining for 24 hours, skip the plastic wrap.)
    2. Prep the Turkey: One hour before cooking, remove the turkey from the refrigerator. Stuff the turkey with the halves of the orange, then truss and skewer with the rotisserie spit. Put the zip lock bag full of ice on the breast, not touching the legs or drumsticks, to chill the breast meat until cooking. Put the wood chunk in a bowl of water to soak.
    3. Prep the rotisserie: Prepare the rotisserie for cooking on indirect medium heat (see details here). For my Weber kettle, I light a chimney 3/4 full of charcoal and wait for it to be covered with ash. Then, instead of pouring it in my usual two piles on the side of the grill, I pour it in a U shape at one end of the grill (see picture below). I put the drip pan in the middle of the U of charcoal. Finally, put the wood chunk on top of the charcoal, and give it five minutes to start smoking.
    4. *If you are using a gas grill, check out my basic Rotisserie Turkey recipe for setup instructions. If you’re using a Weber Summit with a infrared rotisserie burner, set the grill up as shown in this recipe. If you don’t have a rotisserie, Weber Kettle instructions are in this recipe.
    5. Cook the turkey: Put the spit on the grill, with the leg side of the bird inside the “U” of coals. Cook the turkey with the lid closed; it will take 2 to 3 hours (usually about 2 1/2 hours for a 12 pound turkey). Every hour, add 24 fresh charcoal briquettes to the grill, nestling them into the burning charcoal. Start checking the temperature in the breast with an instant read thermometer at 2 hours. The turkey is done when the breast meat registers 155*F to 160*F in its thickest part. Remove the turkey from the grill, remove the spit from the turkey, and cut the trussing twine loose. Let the turkey rest for 15 to 30 minutes before carving.
    6. Carve the turkey: If you have a favorite way of carving a turkey, go ahead and use it. My preferred method: Cut the legs free from the body of the bird, and cut the drumsticks away from the thighs. I leave the drumsticks whole (my favorite part!) and slice the meat from the thighs in 1/2″ slices for dark meat lovers. Next, I cut the entire breast half from one side of the bird by working my knife down the keel bone from the top down to the wing, following the inside of the ribcage. Once the breast half is free of the bird, it is easy to slice into 1/2″ thick slices on my carving board. I repeat with the other breast half. Finally, I cut each wing away from the carcass, and separate the drumette from the wing, and the wing from the wingtip. I arrange all these pieces on a platter and serve.

    *Fresh vs Frozen: There are two advantages to a fresh turkey. The first is they are rarely pre-brined, which is redundant because of the dry brine. (Watch out for the words “enhanced with a X% solution” or “pre-basted”) The second advantage to fresh turkey is no thawing is needed! If you have to get a frozen bird, make sure to leave an extra three days or so to thaw it in the refrigerator before staring the dry brine; start thawing it about a week before you’ll need it.

    [/et_pb_accordion_item][et_pb_accordion_item title=”Tundra’s Go-To Turkey Recipe For Those with a Slow N’ Sear (or similar)” _builder_version=”4.0.5″ open=”off”]

    Smoked Turkey Recipe – How to BBQ Turkey on the Grill with Slow ‘N Sear

     

     

    [/et_pb_accordion_item][et_pb_accordion_item title=”Southern Cornbread Stuffing by Hayeksplosives” _builder_version=”4.0.5″ open=”off”]

    Southern Cornbread Stuffing by Hayeksplosives

    • 6 cups crumbled cornbread
    • 3 cups soft bread crumbs
    • 4 ounces butter
    • 2 cups onion (chopped)
    • 2 cups finely chopped celery
    • 3 to 4 cups chicken broth
    • 2 cups chicken (diced (optional; I omit this for accompanying turkey))
    • 1 heaping teaspoon dried sage (crumbled)
    • 1 ½ teaspoons dried leaf thyme (crumbled)
    • 1 teaspoon dried marjoram (crumbled)
    • ½ teaspoon dried rosemary (chopped)
    • 1 teaspoon salt
    • ½ teaspoon freshly ground black pepper
    • 2 eggs (lightly beaten)
    1. Heat the oven to 400°F. In a large mixing bowl, combine the cornbread and white bread crumbs. In a saucepan over medium heat, sauté the onion and celery in butter until tender. Do not brown. Combine the sautéed vegetables with the bread mixture. Stir in chicken broth, using enough to moisten. Stir in the diced chicken, if using, and the seasonings and beaten eggs, blending well. Spread the mixture in a large shallow baking or roasting pan measuring about 10” x 15”.
    2. It is important to use a big shallow baking pan rather than a 9”x12” pan in order to get the stuffing well spread out to brown evenly and not be soggy in places.

    [/et_pb_accordion_item][et_pb_accordion_item title=”Honey-Brined Turkey with Giblet Cream Gravy by Hayeksplosives” _builder_version=”4.0.5″ open=”off”]

    Honey-Brined Turkey with Giblet Cream Gravy by Hayeksplosives

    (This is the way Dad bakes turkey- extremely tender, moist, just easily the best turkey!)

    About the accompanying gravy, Janet Fletcher, food writer, says, “My grandmother could never seem to make enough of her creamy giblet gravy; everyone always wanted more. We poured it over the mashed potatoes, dressing and turkey, then over open-face sandwiches the next day. Of course, it’s great with this turkey, too: The bird gets its incredible moistness from being soaked overnight in a brine enhanced by thyme, garlic cloves, and honey.” Because of the brining process, we don’t recommend stuffing this turkey.

    Turkey

    • 1 19- to 20- pound turkey (neck, heart and gizzard reserved for gravy)
    • 8 quarts water
    • 2 cups coarse salt
    • 1 cup honey
    • 2 bunches fresh thyme
    • 8 large garlic cloves (peeled)
    • 2 tablespoons coarsely cracked black pepper
    • 2 lemons (halved)
    • 2 tablespoons olive oil
    • 5 cups canned low-salt chicken broth (approximately)

    Gravy

    • Reserved turkey neck, heart and gizzard
    • 6 cups water
    • 3 1/2 cups canned low-salt chicken broth
    • 2 carrots (coarsely chopped)
    • 1 onion (halved)
    • 1 large celery stalk (chopped)
    • 1 small bay leaf
    • 5 tablespoons butter
    • 5 tablespoons all purpose flour
    • 1/4 cup whipping cream

    For turkey:

    1. Line extra-large stockpot with heavy large plastic bag (about 30-gallon capacity). Rinse turkey; place in plastic bag. Stir 8 quarts water, 2 cups coarse salt and 1 cup honey in large pot until salt and honey dissolve. Add 1 bunch fresh thyme, peeled garlic cloves and black pepper. Pour brine over turkey. Gather plastic bag tightly around turkey so that bird is covered with brine; seal plastic bag. Refrigerate pot with turkey in brine at least 12 hours and up to 18 hours.
    2. Position rack in bottom third of oven and preheat to 350°F. Drain turkey well; discard brine. Pat turkey dry inside and out. Squeeze juice from lemon halves into main cavity. Add lemon rinds and remaining 1 bunch fresh thyme to main cavity. Tuck wings under turkey; tie legs together loosely to hold shape. Place turkey on rack set in large roasting pan BREAST SIDE DOWN. Rub turkey all over with 2 tablespoons olive oil.
    3. Roast turkey 1 hour. Remove from oven and turn BREAST SIDE UP. Baste turkey with 1 cup chicken broth. Continue to roast until turkey is deep brown and thermometer inserted into thickest part of thigh registers 180°F, basting with 1 cup chicken broth every 30 minutes and covering loosely with foil if turkey is browning too quickly, about 2 1/2 hours longer. Transfer turkey to platter. Tent turkey loosely with foil and let stand 30 minutes. Pour pan juices into large glass measuring cup. Spoon off fat; reserve juices.

    For gravy:

    1. While turkey cooks, place reserved turkey neck, heart and gizzard into large saucepan. Add 6 cups water, 3 1/2 cups chicken broth, carrots, onion, celery and bay leaf. Simmer over medium heat until turkey stock is reduced to 3 cups, about 2 hours. Strain turkey stock into bowl; reserve turkey neck and giblets. Pull meat off neck. Chop neck meat and giblets.
    2. Melt 5 tablespoons butter in heavy large saucepan over medium heat. Add 5 tablespoons all purpose flour and whisk 2 minutes. Gradually whisk in turkey stock, cream and up to 1 cup reserved turkey pan juices (juices are salty, so add according to taste). Simmer gravy until thickened to desired consistency, whisking occasionally, about 5 minutes. Add chopped turkey neck meat and giblets; season to taste with pepper.

    Serve turkey with gravy.

     

    Turkey will look dark because of the honey brine baking, but it is ridiculously moist and tender, not at all burned.
    [/et_pb_accordion_item][et_pb_accordion_item _builder_version=”4.0.5″ title=”Italian Sausage Dressing contributed by TARDIS” hover_enabled=”0″]

    Italian Sausage Dressing contributed by TARDIS

    I suppose you could use a different sausage and leave out the fennel if you you don’t like it. For vegetarians, a meat substitute and vegetable stock could work. (original recipe by Claire Saffitz)

    • ¾ cup 1½ sticks unsalted butter, cut into pieces, divided, plus more
    • 10 cups coarsely torn sourdough bread (dried out overnight)
    • ⅓ cup blanched hazelnuts
    • 3 tablespoons olive oil
    • 12 ounces hot or sweet Italian sausage (casings removed)
    • 2 onions (chopped)
    • 4 celery stalks (chopped)
    • 1 fennel bulb (chopped)
    • 2 tablespoons chopped sage
    • Kosher salt (freshly ground pepper)
    • ½ cup dry white wine
    • 2 large eggs (beaten to blend)
    • 2 cups turkey or chicken stock (preferably homemade, plus more)
    1. Preheat oven to 350°. Butter a shallow 3-qt. baking dish and a sheet of foil. Place bread in a very large bowl.
    2. Toast hazelnuts on a rimmed baking sheet, tossing once, until golden brown, 10–12 minutes. Let cool; coarsely chop, then add to bowl with bread.
    3. Heat oil in a large skillet over medium-high. Add sausage and cook, stirring occasionally and breaking into small pieces with a spoon, until browned and cooked through, 7–10 minutes. Transfer to bowl with bread with a slotted spoon.
    4. Add onions, celery, fennel, and sage to skillet, season with salt and pepper, and cook, stirring often, until onions are golden brown and soft, 10–12 minutes. Transfer to bowl with bread.
    5. Reduce heat to medium and cook wine in skillet, scraping up any browned bits, until almost all evaporated, about 1 minute. Add ½ cup butter; cook, stirring, until melted. Drizzle over bread mixture.
    6. Whisk eggs and 2 cups stock in a medium bowl; pour over bread mixture. Season with salt and pepper and toss, adding more stock ¼-cupful at a time as needed (you may not use it all), until combined and bread is hydrated. Transfer to prepared baking dish and dot with remaining ¼ cup butter.
    7. Cover with buttered foil; bake until a paring knife inserted into the center comes out hot, 30–35 minutes. Increase oven temperature to 450°. Uncover and bake until top is golden brown and crisp, 20–25 minutes. Let sit 10 minutes before serving.
    8. Do Ahead: Stuffing can be assembled 1 day ahead. Cover and chill.

    [/et_pb_accordion_item][/et_pb_accordion][et_pb_text admin_label=”DESSERTS” _builder_version=”4.0.5″ text_orientation=”center”]

    DESSERTS

    [/et_pb_text][et_pb_accordion admin_label=”DESSERTS accordion” module_class=”my_accordian” _builder_version=”4.0.5″][et_pb_accordion_item open=”on” _builder_version=”4.0.5″ custom_css_open_toggle=”display: none” custom_css_toggle_title=”display: none” custom_css_toggle_icon=”display: none” custom_css_toggle_content=”display: none” custom_css_toggle=”display: none”][/et_pb_accordion_item][et_pb_accordion_item title=”Brown Sugar Cookies from Nosh with Me – contributed by jesse.in.mb” _builder_version=”3.17.6″ open=”off”]

    Brown Sugar Cookies from Nosh with Me – contributed by jesse.in.mb

    • 14 tablespoons unsalted butter (1 3/4 sticks)
    • 1/4 cup granulated sugar (about 1 3/4 ounces)
    • 2 cups packed dark brown sugar (14 ounces)
    • 2 cups unbleached all-purpose flour plus 2 tablespoons ( about 10 1/2 ounces)
    • 1/2 teaspoon baking soda
    • 1/4 teaspoon baking powder
    • 1/2 teaspoon table salt
    • 1 large egg
    • 1 large egg yolk
    • 1 tablespoon vanilla extract
    1. Heat 10 tablespoons of the butter in a pan over medium-high heat until melted. Continue to cook the butter until it is browned a dark golden color and smells nutty, about 1 to 3 minutes. Transfer the browned butter to a bowl and stir the rest of the butter into the hot butter until it melts- let this rest for 15 min.
    2. Preheat oven to 350 degrees F. In a baking dish, mix granulated sugar and a ¼ cup of the brown sugar until combined well; set this mixture aside to roll dough balls in.
    3. Mix flour, baking soda, and baking powder in a bowl. Add 1 ¾ cup brown sugar and salt to cooled butter and mix until there are no lumps. Add egg, yolk, and vanilla to butter mixture and mix well, then add flour and mix until just combined.
    4. Roll dough into balls about 1 ½ inches in diameter, and roll balls in brown sugar and white sugar mixture. Place balls about 2 inches apart on parchment lined baking sheets.
    5. Bake sheets one at a time until cookies are puffy and lightly browned, about 12-14 minutes. (It says the cookies will look slightly raw between some of the cracks and seem underdone, but be careful not to over bake.) Cool on sheet for about 5 minutes and then transfer to a rack to cool.


    [/et_pb_accordion_item][et_pb_accordion_item title=”jesse.in.mb’s Aunt Sheryl’s Dutch Apple Pie” _builder_version=”3.17.6″ open=”off”]

    jesse.in.mb's Aunt Sheryl's Dutch Apple Pie

    (It’s the best, fight me!)

    • 1 single 10" pie crust

    Filling

    • 2/3 cup sugar
    • 2 Tbsp all purpose flour
    • ¾ tsp cinnamon
    • ½ fresh lemon
    • 6-8 tart apples pared cored (pared,cored and sliced (equaling 6 cups))

    Crumb Topping

    • ½ cup flour
    • ¼ cup sugar
    • ¼ cup butter

    For Filling

    1. Combine first three ingredients.
    2. Put apples in crust, sprinkle dry mix over apples then squeeze ½ lemon over them (can be left for up to 24 hours in the fridge for more flavor).

    For Crumb Topping

    1. Combine flour and sugar, cut in butter until crumbly.
    2. Sprinkle on top of apples.
    3. Bake at 400 for 45-50 minutes


    [/et_pb_accordion_item][et_pb_accordion_item title=”Pumpkin Imperial Stout Tiramisu by Nephilium” _builder_version=”3.17.6″ open=”off”]

    Pumpkin Imperial Stout Tiramisu by Nephilium

    So here’s a recipe (modified from an issue of BeerAdvocate).

    • 1 pint heavy whipping cream
    • ½ tsp cinnamon
    • ¼ tsp nutmeg
    • 1/8 tsp clove
    • ¼ cup Dry Malt Extract
    • 1 cup pumpkin puree
    • 2 cup mascarpone cheese
    • 24 oz Rasputin Imperial Stout or any other good Russian Imperial Stout
    • 3 packages ladyfinger cookies
    • 1 cup Simpsons Special Dark Roast Malt ground to a powder
    • cinnamon ground
    • powdered sugar
    1. In a medium bowl, add cream, cinnamon, nutmeg, clove and DME. Mix this until soft peaks form, then set aside. In a different bowl, mix together the pumpkin and the mascarpone until fully combined. Fold the pumpkin mixture into the spiced whipped cream until blended (some streaks are fine), and then set aside.
    2. Pour the stout into a shallow bowl or a pie plate. Select your serving container (I usually use a 13 x 9 pan, but you can use whatever size you wish). Then you begin the assembly of the tiramisu.
    3. Dip ladyfingers into the stout for 10 seconds, then flip them, and let them sit for 10 seconds again. Then place the ladyfingers into your serving container until you have a single layer.
    4. Then take a third of the pumpkin cream filling and distribute it over the ladyfingers. Dust with malt powder, then add another layer of soaked ladyfingers.
    5. Top the second layer with pumpkin cream and then garnish with malt powder, some cinnamon, and powdered sugar.
    6. Cover with plastic wrap and refrigerate for at least two hours before serving.

    DME and Simpsons Special Dark Roast can be acquired at your local homebrew store. Otherwise you can substitute ovaltine for the DME, and cocoa powder for the Special Dark Roast.

    If you use a smaller container, you can go to three layers of each, or even four. Do what you want, it’s your dessert.


    [/et_pb_accordion_item][et_pb_accordion_item title=”Hayeksplosives’s Easy, No Brainer, Creamy Pumpkin Pie” _builder_version=”3.17.6″ open=”off”]

    Hayeksplosives's Easy, No Brainer, Creamy Pumpkin Pie

    Easy, foolproof, and better than anything the store sells.

    • 1 14 oz can Sweetened Condensed Milk
    • 2 eggs
    • 1 tsp ground cinnamon
    • 1 tsp ground ginger
    • 1 tsp ground nutmeg
    • 1 15 oz can pumpkin
    • 1/2 tsp salt
    • 1 9-inch unbaked pie crust (I ALWAYS use graham cracker–it's great with the pumpkin spices.)
    1. Preheat oven to 425F.
    2. Whisk pumpkin, sweetened condensed milk, eggs, spices, and salt in bowl until smooth.
    3. Pour into pie crust.
    4. Bake 15 minutes.
    5. Reduce temp to 350F and bake 35-40 minutes until knife inserted in center comes out clean.
    6. Cool.
    7. Garnish with whipped cream or Cool Whip.


    [/et_pb_accordion_item][et_pb_accordion_item title=”SP’s Vegan Pumpkin Chia Pudding” _builder_version=”3.17.6″ open=”off”]

    SP’s Vegan Pumpkin Chia Pudding

    Even Web Dom can have a seasonal Thanksgiving dessert.

    • 1/4 c chia seeds
    • 1 c unsweetened vanilla almond milk
    • 1 tsp vanilla extract
    • 2 tsp sugar (or 10-15 drops liquid stevia, or to taste)
    • 1/4 c pumpkin puree
    • 1/2 tsp pumpkin pie spice (or equivalent components)
    • pinch salt
    • 2 tbsp pecans (toasted and chopped)
    1. Combine chia seeds with almond milk in a medium bowl. Set aside for one hour.

    2. Add vanilla extract, sweetener of choice, pumpkin puree, pumpkin pie spice, and salt to the bowl with chia seeds and almond milk. 

    3. Process with an immersion blender until smooth. Adjust sweetener to taste.

    4. Pour into a dessert dish and top with pecans.

    We prefer less-sweet foods, so you may want to adjust the sweetness to your preference.


    [/et_pb_accordion_item][et_pb_accordion_item title=”SP’s Candied Cashews” _builder_version=”3.17.6″ open=”off”]

    Candied Cashews

    • 2 cups whole cashews
    • 1 egg white
    • 1 tsp water
    • 2/3 cup granulated white sugar
    • 1/4 tsp salt
    • 1/2 tsp cinnamon
    1. Preheat oven to 325F. Line a baking sheet with a silicone baking mat or parchment paper.

    2. Beat egg white with the water in a medium bowl until foamy and light.

    3. Add the cashews, sugar, salt and cinnamon to the bowl. Stir thoroughly; nuts should be completely coated.

    4. Spread the mixture as evenly as possible on the baking sheet. Bake for about 30 minutes or until nuts are beginning to caramelize.

    5. Remove from the oven and allow nuts to cool.  Store in an air tight container.


    [/et_pb_accordion_item][et_pb_accordion_item title=”Ina Garten’s Pear, Apple & Cranberry Crisp – contributed by SP” _builder_version=”3.17.6″ open=”off”]

    Ina Garten's Pear, Apple & Cranberry Crisp – contributed by SP

    This is pretty close to a crisp I make, except I use fresh cranberries. But this one has the added virtue of already being keyed in.

    For the filling

    • 2 pounds ripe Bosc pears (4 pears)
    • 2 pounds firm Macoun apples (6 apples)
    • 3/4 cup dried cranberries
    • 1 teaspoon grated orange zest
    • 1 teaspoon grated lemon zest
    • 2 tablespoons freshly squeezed orange juice
    • 2 tablespoons freshly squeezed lemon juice
    • 1/2 cup granulated sugar
    • 1/4 cup all-purpose flour
    • 1 teaspoon ground cinnamon
    • 1/2 teaspoon ground nutmeg

    For the topping

    • 1 1/2 cups all-purpose flour
    • 3/4 cup granulated sugar
    • 3/4 cup light brown sugar lightly packed
    • 1/2 teaspoon kosher salt
    • 1 cup old-fashioned oatmeal
    • 1/2 pound 2 sticks cold unsalted butter (diced)
    1. Preheat the oven to 350 degrees F.

    For the filling:

    1. Peel and core the pears and apples and cut them into large chunks. Place the fruit in a large bowl and toss with the cranberries, zests, juices, granulated sugar, flour, cinnamon, and nutmeg. Pour into a 9 x 12 x 2-inch baking dish.

    For the topping:

    1. Combine the flour, sugars, salt, oatmeal, and cold butter in the bowl of an electric mixer fitted with a paddle attachment. Mix on low speed for 1 to 2 minutes, or until the mixture is in large crumbles. Sprinkle evenly over the fruit, covering the fruit completely.
    2. Place the baking dish on a parchment-lined sheet pan and bake for 50 minutes to 1 hour, until the top is brown and the fruit is bubbly. Serve warm.


    [/et_pb_accordion_item][et_pb_accordion_item title=”Pistoffnick’s Low Carb Cheesecake” _builder_version=”4.0.5″ open=”off”]

    Pistoffnick's Low Carb Cheesecake

    I don’t usually do sweets, but this is my favorite desert.

    For the Crust

    • 1 1/2 cups almond flour
    • 1/4 cup salted butter melted
    • 2 tbsp Erythritol (optional)

    For the Filling

    • 3 cups cream cheese
    • 2 cups sour cream full fat (full fat, I tell you)
    • 3 eggs large
    • 4 tbsp Erythritol (optional)
    • 1 tsp real vanilla extract (don't chu be usin' that imitation shit! Buy a bean or two. Soak it in vodka.)

    Topping (OPTIONAL)

    • 1/4 cup berries sliced
    • 1/2 cup heavy cream whipped
    • 2 tbsp Erythritol (optional)
    1. Preheat oven to 300°F
    2. In a large bowl combine almond flour, melted butter, and sweetener. Mix together using a spoon until the ingredients are homogeneous. Add the mixture into a spring form pan and press this mixture evenly to make the crust firm and tight.
    3. Bake the crust for 10 minutes until it becomes lightly golden browned and remove the crust from the oven. Let it cool while you make the filling.
    4. In a bowl, combine eggs, sweetener, cream cheese, sour cream and vanilla. Mix thoroughly with a hand whisk or blender until smooth then add this mixture to the crust and bake the cheesecake at 350 F for 30 min or until firm and browned.
    5. Remove and refrigerate for six hours. You can add berries and whipping cream on the top to decorate (optional). Enjoy the decadence!

    [/et_pb_accordion_item][et_pb_accordion_item title=”The Nugget Pecan Pie (from Aunt Renée) by jesse.in.mb” _builder_version=”4.0.5″ open=”off”]

    The Nugget Pecan Pie (from Aunt Renée) by jesse.in.mb

    A vintage recipe that used to come in the matchbooks for Reno’s The Nugget Casino which I got from my aunt who grew up there.

    • 1 unbaked pie shell
    • 1 c Kayro Syrup (light, dark or a mix are all fine)
    • ¾ c granulated sugar
    • 4 oz melted butter (1 stick)
    • 3 eggs
    • 1 tsp vanilla
    • 3 oz ¾c pecan pieces
    • 3 oz ¾c pecan halves
    1. Mix together syrup and sugar.
    2. Add melted butter.
    3. Mix in eggs and vanilla.
    4. Let stand for 1 hour.
    5. Place pecan pieces in the bottom of a 9” unbaked pie shell, pour in the filling, add the halves on top (make it look nice). Bake 45-50 minutes at 325F.

    [/et_pb_accordion_item][et_pb_accordion_item title=”Pink Stuff by Hayeksplosives” _builder_version=”4.0.5″ open=”off”]

    Pink Stuff by Hayeksplosives

    • ¼ cup lemon juice
    • 1 can 15 oz sweetened condensed milk (Eaglebrand)
    • 1 can cherry pie filling
    • 1 can mandarin orange slices (strained)
    • 1 can crushed pineapple (strained)
    • ½ cup walnut halves (broken or coarsely chopped)
    • 8 oz cool whip
    1. Whisk together lemon juice and condensed milk until smooth. Stir in pie filling, oranges, pineapple, and walnuts until the cherry pie filling color is even throughout the mixture. With a wide spatula, gently fold in cool whip until even. Do not beat. Refrigerate until serving.

    [/et_pb_accordion_item][/et_pb_accordion][/et_pb_column][/et_pb_row][/et_pb_section]

  • Thursday Morning Links

    Hey man…well, you know the rest.

    That hook I wrote to suck you in here was a lie. My hotel WiFi had been out for three days and they can’t seem to get it fixed for me., so these links will suffer for it  Oh, but don’t worry…they’re trying and have escalated it.  Bastards. They’re just bastards.  I don’t want it escalated. I want you to order a new router and make it work.  Or give me a bunch of money back for y’all having failed so catastrophically. Anyway, I’m having to do these links the hard way, so bear with me. Ottawa and the NYR were the winners on the ice yesterday. Thankfully they only had two games on the schedule. And as for birthdays, the heavyweights were: French philosophizer Voltaire, baseball player Stan Musial, politician and handgun expert Budd Dwyer, actor and director Harold Ramis, Icelandic person Bjork, baseball great Ken Griffey, Jr, and moronic football pundit Danny Kanell.

    OK, on to…the links!

    There won’t be any impeachment circus links today. I am sure that got beat to death yesterday afternoon anyway and to be honest, it’s really come down to a circus of he said/she said nonsense. But I’ve got plenty of good stuff for you.

    Rep Nuclear Farts

    Eric Swalwell (you remember him as the assclown who said he would nuke people who didn’t voluntarily give up their guns) denies ripping a fart on live tv. I’d have done the same if I were him. Although some others disagree with his claim.

    Sue everybody! I mean, did this lady think he was under an obligation to just parrot her words?

    “Anyway, Boris, that’s when I put a finger in her butthole.”

    If you’re never in public, they can never see you sweat. Or hug somebody. Or have sex with a child. I assume that was his reasoning.

    This is getting interesting. That’s what usually happens when people are facing jail time.

    San Francisco police continue to earn their reputation for ineptitude. I’m not talking about the initial stabbing. I’m talking about not guarding a violent murder suspect who is in the hospital.  Fucking idiots.

    Here’s what somebody said happened at the debate last night. I could post a million different analyses from a million different outlets.  I chose this one out of apathy and because it’s always my source for the last link. I assume I’ll get better analysis in the comments anyway.

    This has a lot of STEVE SMITH action in it. Feel free to skip to 1:28 if you want to miss the intro.

    That’s all I got. Sorry if they suck. I’m really working with a handicap here. But I’ll be home tomorrow where the interwebs flow like wine.

     

  • Let’s go flying!

    So you decided to buy a kite and have fun like Yusef, but where to start….

     

    Let’s start with a nice little single line kite, $5 on eBay, pocket size, comes with line and handle.

    Wendy’s kite:

     

    I bought a kite reel to better run the single, it is Wendy’s kite, so I made it easy.

     

    200 meters of low stretch line, with a brake. You can hang on to it or set a stake in the ground, and enjoy it while prepping your next kite….

     

     Welcome to Deltas

    I was short of money, what’s new, so instead of a Ferrari kite, I grabbed two cheap Delta kites for the #1 Grandson and I, set up some new lines and went out. 20+ mph winds, I set up and Bang! the thing took off like a rocket, way too fast at first, then my lessons took over and I had an exciting flight with a good landing. The thing made an awesome, spooky sound as it flew, which adds to the drama. The next day we went out in 5-10 mph winds and the delta flew just as well in light winds as heavy, a nice feature.

     

    Equipment

    The easy part, get some Mason line at the hardware store in the color of your choice, try to buy at least 200 feet, it’s cheap, this will be your kite line. I had some half-inch PVC pipe and conduit to make handles with.

    Yes, that’s Paracord, good stuff for this, so I made my own, but straps and bars are an option.

     

    A stake is important, you need to secure your control lines so your kite doesn’t take off without you, usually a line between your controls. Believe me, it’s a good thing, a tent stake from Wally World works well.

    Oh yeah, the Arsenal.

    1 Delta, 48″ Wingspan

    2 parafoils 70″ws and 102″ws

    1 single line parafoil,24″ws

    5 dual Line sets@ 82 ft long

    1 kite reel at 200m long

    various handles and Paracord

    Total cost $85 and it all fits in a $5 soft cooler from Walmart.

     

    Great Yusef, but how do you actually do it?

    YouTube. Wanna fly Deltas? Watch  this video

    Parafoils? 4 line or 2? Check this out.

    And always look for kite festivals, usually in warm weather, but they are amazing to see. 

    Last, here’s one of my flights, shot with my phone strapped to my hat, no GoPro. 

    A Gallery 

    All of my kites are cheap Chinese knockoffs for now, but they are cheap and fly great! Give it a try!