Glibertarians.com 2019 Archive

Blog

  • Friday Morning Links

    Pure filthiness

    Gerrit Cole gave a masterclass in pitching again last night as he carried the Astros to the ALCS showdown everybody (except some people on the Florida gulf coast) was hoping for.  Let’s hope their rotation holds up after going 5 while the Yankees were just relaxing for the last few days.  Game 1 is Saturday.

    Elsewhere, the Patriots looked dominant in the second half to pull away from a game Giants team.  Your winners on the ice were: Detroit, Tampa, Edmonton, Pittsburgh, St Louis, Winnipeg (sorry, Wild fans), Nashville, San Jose, Calgary, Colorado and Phoenix. And in the only basketball news I’m going to mention, Steve Kerr is a stupid, spineless, kowtowing assclown.

    Nice sideburns, yo.

    Condiment magnate Henry John Heinz was born on this day. So were First Lady Eleanor Roosevelt, real estate developer Fred Trump, writer Elmore Leonard, soccer legend Sir Bobby Charlton, musician Daryl Hall, rocker Al Atkins, actress that always annoyed me Joan Cusack, football great Chris Spielman, the late acting legend Luke Perry, entrepreneur and philanthropist Peter Thiel, and person on television Cardi B.

    I apologize if my Joan Cusack comment offends any of you.  She just isn’t a good actress in my opinion. Anyway, on to…the links!

    “It was just a joke. Don’t be such a drama queen.”

    Fredo may get the proverbial Lake Tahoe fishing trip from the LGBTQ community after last night. That was pretty cringe, but not as cringe as some of the things the candidates said. They pretty much said they all want the 1A abolished and would like to punish wrong think as a hate crime.  Terrifying stuff, to be honest.

    I’ve got three words for the Nobel Peace Prize Committee: HOW DARE YOU! But its cool. The abused child can win next year. Unfortunately, we may all be dead from global warming climate change climate catastrophe by then.

    “Don’t care how, I want it now!”

    “License and registration, chicken fucker!”And no, this is not about one of the “Super Troopers” actors.

    Australia: the Florida of the (onetime) British Empire. I’m sick of people not tolerating this man’s lifestyle choices. Just sick of it.

    Looks like we may have discovered the candidate the “whistleblower” may have ties to. That’s mighty convenient. Also, where the fuck is Hunter Biden and why isn’t he being subpoena’d?

    Another fine officer of the law

    I’ve got a question for you. How does a freaking police officer rape five women while on duty over a two-year stretch without getting caught? I hope that piece of shit rots in general population for the rest of his life. (I’d wish he get publicly executed, but that’s not possible.)

    As PG&E customers get their power restored earlier than expected, people further south are being told to prepare for the same fate. Nice job, private sector government-enforced energy monopoly.Way to do exactly what we expected you to do: fail spectacularly.

    Yeah, if you thought I was gonna play something weak at the end of the week, you’ve got another thing coming.

    Have a great Friday and weekend, friends.

  • OverRated: The Week in College Football Polls Ugly Trophy Edition

    Ugly Trophy Edition:  It turns out there are teams out there worse than MICHIGAN

    This past week we learned that there is a college in Ypsilanti, so don’t go using that sweet town’s name in vain just because you want to make fun of Jim Harbaugh (personal motto:  I was born in Toledo!).  We also learned that GM’s Willow Run plant closed in 2010 (thanks, Obama), so we’ll need to pick on some other township the next time we want to make tranny jokes.

    Out on the grid-iron, we book only two toldjasos™, but one comes at the high cost of conceding a mistake.  The week that was:

     

    Week Six Most OverRated Football Program Results

    1          Boise State unremarkably trounced entertainment engineering powerhouse UNLV

    2          Wake Forest doesn’t play Unitas-less Louisville until next weekend (I misread their calendar)

    3          Georgia finally took the all-time series lead over hapless Tennessee

    4          Florida handled Auburn and child quarterback Nix

    4          Iowa was corn-holed by the near-nobodies at Ann Arbor

    6          Texas recovered from an early scare to survive at West Virginia

    7          Auburn has a solid defense, but so does Florida, so they fell five places

    7          Oregon quietly managed Cal

    9          Oklahoma beat KU by only 25

     

    Iowa’s not much to brag on, but some trophies are just uglier than others.  Ranked 14th, they gave up eight sacks to 19th ranked Michigan and fell, appropriately, four spots.

    Auburn’s loss to Florida was a very even match, but in the polls your punishment is always all out of proportion to what happened at the game.  So Auburn falls five places, and they are now proven to have been at least a bit over-rated.  I can’t put it more succinctly than MSN:

    . . . a game that was tense, sloppy, mistake-filled, oddly coached and generally impossible to figure out from possession to possession.  After four turnovers apiece and a whole bunch of other weirdness, it was No. 8 Florida blowing the game open on Lamical Perine’s 88-yard touchdown run with 9:04 remaining, giving the Gators a terrific win and a 6-0 record despite some very clear flaws. And for No. 7 Auburn, it was a reality check about life with a true freshman quarterback in Bo Nix, who seemed rather overwhelmed with the whole thing and made some truly terrible decisions . . .

     

    This correspondent has trifled with Florida and had bagged them already earlier in the season when AP voters had lost their collective nerve over the Gators.  But now we must concede that any earlier call on UF was bull feathers and book them as a clear miss.  They feature a second-string quarterback, but, as usual, their defensive secondary is fearless and fast.  They’re still over-rated a place or two, but that’s still too close, so let’s just agree I was wrong on this one.

    So snarking about the rankings is nearly dead for the year; there’s just not much new left to yell about from the peanut gallery.  Indeed, in my admittedly very slow news, I found that if you duckduckgo for “heckler” you get endless pictures of cool pistols; that’s all I learned this week.  Now . . . onto your season’s-under-way and Iowa-free rankings:

     

    Newest Week N + 1 Post-Iowa Most OverRated Football Programs

    1      Wake Forest will host Unitas-less Louisville as my All-Time Most OverRated Team of All-Time!!11!!

    2      Minnesoda almost ties the Wake record with their ridiculous debut but should edge Nebraska by four

    3       Memphis jumps onto our board; Temple won’t have a prayer against the Tiger Hype

    4       Boise State hosts Hawaii

    5       Georgia should roll over The Other USC

    6       Texas meets worthy Oklahoma in the Red River Classic

    7       Oregon should bulldoze Colorado

    8       Oklahoma meets worthy Texas in the Red River Classic

    Honorable mentions – Utah is still over-ranked, but I’ve made enough fun of them already this year.  SMU should damp to their mean soon.  So how has our year gone so far?

     

    Year to Date Hides on the Wall Rated

    1          Utah lost to an unrated USC

    2          Stanford was revealed by USC

    2          Syracuse was unranked after Maryland

    2          UCF was edged by an unranked Pitt

    2          Iowa was no number 15 as Michigan proved

    6          Cal was dumped from the AP after losing to Arizona State

    6          Iowa State was dethroned before their decent showing against Iowa

    6          Michigan State fell out of the ratings, so I was right after all

    9          Clemson was dethroned by Mack Brown retirement project UNC

    9          Texas probably over-paid for losing to titan LSU

    9          Auburn probably over-paid for losing to Auburn

    9          Texas A&M probably over-paid for quality losses against Clemson and Auburn

    13        Washington State was unranked after becoming lowly UCLA’s first win

    14        Michigan was blown out by Wisconsin

    15        Virginia probably over-paid for losing to can-play-with-UGA Notre Dame

     

    Year to Date It-Would-Seem Blown Calls Because They’re Doing Okay Really Well

    1          LSU

    2          Florida seems to have earned their status by defeating top-ten Auburn

    3          UCF is now a skin on the wall after Pitt

    4          Michigan no longer a blown call because Wisconsin

    5          Washington State no longer a blown call because UCLA

    Let’s score this year 15–2-3 so far, nothing to be ashamed of.  So closes another week!

     

     

    links to older opinions:                  2019-10-03                  2019-09-26                  2019-09-19                  2019-09-13                  2019-09-06
    Disclosure of sources of bias:  your writer has attended the University of Tennessee, Memphis State and the University of Memphis, Christian Brothers College . . . and he sleeps with an alumna of Georgia whose parents met at Washington State . . . and his son went to Houston . . . and he never met anyone from TCU he didn’t like . . . and he irrationally hates Notre Dame, UCF, Clemson, and Notre Dame.

  • Christianity 101

    John 3:16: For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth on him should not perish, but have eternal life.

    But … why?

    The core tenet of Christianity from the git-go has been that Christ died to atone for our sins, which satisfies both justice and mercy.

    But … how?

    I have never been quite clear how the torture and murder of a completely innocent man does anything at all for justice or mercy.

    Once upon a time when I was a wee lass, about 8 or so, I was getting ready to be baptized a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. Eight is the age of accountability, when a person knows wrong from right. One thing we do is to make sure our 8-year-olds have a good understanding of the Atonement of Christ. Well, we try. I’m not sure that is possible with every 8-year-old, but it sure worked a treat on me.

    Did I know? Did I understand? Oh, hell by golly, yes, I did. And I didn’t like it. Not one bit. Though I could not articulate it and I wasn’t nearly as willing to be shocking as I am now, I knew exactly what it meant:

    8-year-old me: Every time I sin, Jesus can feel all the pain of his crucifixion again.

    51-year-old me: Every time I sin, I am contributing to the torture and murder of an innocent man.

    Narrator: Then she went to a Southern Baptist private school for 9 years.

    8-year-old me listening to …

    Mormons: We’re all going to one of 3 levels of heaven and the worst one is totally awesome. But you don’t want that; you want the best heaven, so forget those other two. You’re better than that. You don’t want to be with those trashy losers in the lowest of heavens, so you need to work for it. Hard. “Be ye therefore perfect, even as your Father which is in heaven is perfect.” — Matthew 5:48

    Baptists: All you have to do to go to heaven is accept Christ into your heart as your personal savior. How big your mansion is on your street of gold and how many jewels you have in your crown depend upon your works, but you don’t have to work at all if you don’t want to. But if you don’t accept Christ as your personal savior, you’ll burn in an eternal lake of fire. “But what about murderers?” If they say the prayer to be saved, they’re good. “But what about the kids in Africa who never heard of Jesus?” Collateral damage, sorry.

    Yet I have been assured from the cradle by both Mormons and Baptists that God loves me. Yay me. I have the privilege of being loved by a Deity who is so cruel that he set up mutually exclusive commandments: Do not eat of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil and you must also be fruitful and multiply.

    Oh, yeah, I got dunked understanding all this and I followed the logic all the way to its end and it was way too painful to contemplate, so I towed the party lion for years and years and years.

    I hated Baptist theology for leaving all those poor ignorant bastards out in the cold with no mercy, while murderers could say a little prayer and go to heaven.

    I hadn’t yet been able to articulate what I hated about Mormon theology that required perfect behavior (from people whose very purpose is to fail and learn) with no mercy, and the people who didn’t swear, didn’t smoke, didn’t drink, and followed ALL the rules, got to go to the finest of heavens no matter how good in heart they were.

    Mormons: God loves you enough to bless you when you obey his commandments. By the way, here’s a list of the rules. Be perfect and you will get ALL the blessings. Bonus! You won’t have to go to that trashy heaven where all the trashy people are, which might as well be hell.

    Baptists: God loves you no matter what you do, as long as you’re saved. Sorry to all the murder victims out there who won’t see their murderers punished. You won’t care once you’re dead and living in a nicer mansion than your murderer. Sorry to all you folks who never heard of Jesus. We’ll feel sorry for your eternal suffering from above.

    Mormons have no mercy.

    Baptists have no justice.

    Narrator: And the little girl stomped her foot and screamed, “IT’S JUST NOT FAIR!”

    So here we go …

    Over the years I have grown in my faith in the Heavenly Parents [hereinafter referred to as Deity] and their love for us, no matter how many times I fall prey to the “I’m being punished for not following ALL the rules” mindset. I have grown in my faith that the Deity are all powerful, all seeing, and all knowing.

    But there’s the rub. Why would an all-powerful, all-seeing, all-knowing Deity need to send their only begotten son to atone for our sins? Why would an all-powerful, all-seeing, all-knowing Deity need their only begotten son to judge us in the last day to decide our eternal fate?

    I was thirty-something before I could bring myself to ask this question, though it had been simmering in my mind since I was 8. It was a very painful question to approach, even as delicately as I did. It was an even harder question to form into words to myself. And it was hard as hell all get-out to actually say it out loud and explain my reasoning to somebody. Half my literary oeuvre is dedicated to pondering this topic. By the time I asked the question so baldly in a book, it just made me angry.

    This is the question I can’t answer and haven’t been able to get a satisfactory answer from any Christian of any stripe:

    Why would an all-powerful, all-knowing, all-present Deity need an intercessor between them and their children to administer justice or grant mercy?

  • Thursday Afternoon Links

    After yesterday’s SF horror double feature, I bet you’re ready for some nice, boring links. #MeToo.

    I think this sentence is about right. The defendant didn’t set out to kill anyone that day, but he certainly provoked a confrontation and then shot a man who did not appear to be engaging him once he was down on his ass. “An armed society is a polite society” needs to go for the gun carriers as much as those who would be dissuaded from being impolite by others carrying.

    God, I love humanity.

    News to absolutely no one who knows cats.

    I’ll admit it. I’m jealous.

     

    Shit it’s been a long week. I wanna be higher than Elvis in this video. But I’ll probably just drink a couple of beers tonight and call it good.

  • THE CONTINUING AWESOME ADVENTURES OF SECRET NAZI PRESIDENT!!11!1! – Vol 39: Joey B; Sexy Syria; Lizzie Dub

     

  • Thursday Morning Links

    Pretty much sums it up

    The poor Atlanta Braves. I don’t know if they could have put anybody on the mound to stop what happened to them in the first inning.The same can not be said for the Dodgers and the 8th though.Why Kershaw came out of that dugout for that inning will be a question asked endlessly until the idiot that sent him is fired. So now we’re down to the Astros-Rays to determine the LCS matchups. I hope the ‘Stros buck the trend of road teams clinching.

    Your hockey winners last night were Buffalo, Philly, and Vancouver. And across the Pacific, they decided a typhoon was more important than rugby matches.  We’ll see what happens with the games scheduled for late tonight, as there are some more serious consequences if that match gets called. Especially since its effectively a knockout match.

    The legendary AC Slater

    Composer Giuseppe Verdi was born on this day.  jazzman Thelonious Monk, actor Peter Coyote, underrated singer John Prine, rock legend David Lee Roth, extremely underrated singer Kirsty MacColl, murdered journalist Daniel Pearl, almost-murdered politician Steve Scalise, and Hollywood heartthrob Mario Lopez.

    Meh, that wasn’t so great a day. Oh well, there’s aways a chance to make up for it with a solid set of…the links!

    I never like posting this kind of shit. But I feel like I have to once in a while. Just in case there are a few of you out there that forget the courts are full of idiots and there are bad people in the world going unpunished. Seriously, UK? Seriously?!?!?!?!

    RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!!!!!

    Global Warming is about to fuck shit up. So be sure to stock up on firewood and keep your coat handy.  This warming is gonna be especially cold and dangerous.

    I guess this is the kind of stuff Philly cops can work on since they’ve solved all the serious crimes. Shouldn’t this have been handled internally by, you know, removing the offenders?

    “Still my day, bitches!”

    And the DC City Council has apparently fixed all the shitty things about the city so they can focus on pressing issues. Just kidding. Traffic is still a mess, the crime rate is still relatively high. And its still full of government workers.

    Sorry these links are a bit on the harsh side today. This is not the link that will buck that trend. And I mean, this might be the worst of the bunch as far as rage-inducement goes. Tread lightly.

    I guess this will become a “greedy corporations” story now. Instead of a “this is what happens when the market is manipulated and a government-enforced monopoly is created” story.

    I’m sure there’s no possible way this is an overreaction. Oh well, he gets to have his life ruined so the SRO can get a medal for being such a hero. Eggs, omelets, amirite?

    I assume many of you knew this was coming. The video is probably better than the song.  Nah, it’s not.

    Anyway, go have a great day.  Fingers crossed for an Astros victory.

  • Asset Forfeiture : Yet Another Crossword

    Okay, enough of you miscreants seemed to appreciate the effort so here one more. The theme answers in this one are pretty tortured so I’ll add a hint at the very end of the post, if you don’t want a spoiler don’t scroll down to fast. And remember this is for entertainment purposes only, please no wagering. Have fun!

    If you prefer a PDF      Asset Forfeiture

    If you need to cheat  help  Solution

    Lastly you can go here and work an interactive version. The Password is “Ookla > Chewie”

     

     

    Don Escaped Texas beta tested this one as well and made a few good suggestions (none of which I listened to this time) but any errors are still on him.

     

    Hint: The theme answers* are victims of asset forfeiture. for example 55 across should be DREAMBOATANNIE but the cops seized the boat so now its DREAMANNIE.

    (more…)

  • Wednesday Afternoon Links of Mystery

    Stuffed With Sockeye Salmon, ‘Holly’ Wins ‘Fat Bear Week’ Heavyweight Title

    Fat Bear Week 2019 officially ended Tuesday night. And the winner is …

    No. 435, or if you prefer a name, Holly.

    Fat Bear Week has been an annual event for the past five years in Katmai National Park and Preserve in southwestern Alaska. The idea is to publicize and celebrate the process of bears eating as much as they can to build up crucial fat reserves in advance of winter hibernation.

    Park rangers made a game out of the process — a March Madness-style bracket matching bear against bear, each with photos proving girth and inviting the public to vote on the fattest bear in each pair.

    Apologies to those who might have thought that “Fat Bear Champion” was a porn title, or an anime title, or an anime porn title. (Swiss can’t narrow his eyes… I stole the joke from him!)

    But watch out, Molly, in your long slumber. STEVE SMITH likes ’em meaty.

    Cattle Mysteriously Mutilated In Oregon

    Coming upon one of the dead bulls is an eerie scene. The forest is hot and still, apart from a raven’s repeating caw. The bull looks like a giant, deflated plush toy. It smells. Weirdly, there are no signs of buzzards, coyotes or other scavengers. His red coat is as shiny as if he were going to the fair, but he’s bloodless and his tongue and genitals have been surgically cut out.

    Marshall says these young livestock were just reaching their top value as breeding bulls. The animals are worth around $6,000 each. And since these were breeding bulls, hundreds of thousands of dollars’ worth of future calves were lost too.

    Finding these young Herefords in this remote country can sometimes take the ranch’s experienced cowboys days. Ranch staff members are now required to ride in pairs and are encouraged to carry arms.

    “It’s rugged,” Marshall says. “I mean this is the frontier. If some person, or persons, has the ability to take down a 2,000-pound range bull, you know, it’s not inconceivable that they wouldn’t have a lot of problems dealing with a 180-pound cowboy.”

    Mutilated cattle? Drained of blood with genitals and tongues removed? It’s just so retro and 70s. UFOs! Cults! Chupacabras!

    https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cattle_mutilation

    Thar be monsters: Filmmaker explores creatures of New England lore

    “Champ,” the sea monster of lore that lives in Lake Champlain, and other water-dwelling cryptids of New Hampshire and across New England fascinate documentarian Aleksandar Petakov.

    The Nashua filmmaker and cryptozoology researcher shared his love for the elusive creatures Thursday at Derry Public Library.

    Petakov said he learned about the Loch Ness Monster of Scotland as a youth. Later, while researching the various lake and coastal sea serpents in New England for a documentary mini-series titled, “On the Trail of… Champ” (available on Amazon Prime and Youtube), he discovered our Champ actually pre-dates Nessie.

    “Champ was the original lake monster,” Petakov said.

    Champ, he said, was first sighted by Samuel de Champlain in 1609, with more sightings documented in news articles in the 1870s, during which a sea serpent scare swept the nation. Tales of a monster in Loch Ness had begun to circulate about that same time.

    Now, Petakov said, he’s skeptical of the Scottish counterpart to Champ but believes there is “something going on” at Lake Champlain.

    Theories explaining what appears to witnesses as a long-necked creature with a elongated, humped back range from the mundane — objects like driftwood and common eels — to the fantastic, prehistoric sea creatures that have survived countless millennia yet remain undetected by biologists to this day.

    Petakov’s favorite theory is that Champ is actually a long-necked tortoise that has grown very large and very old.

    https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Champ_(folklore)

    Nessie is so over-exposed. It’s nice to see American cryptids get more attention. I mean, we have quite a few of them.

    And then there are these assholes:

    Sacrificial stone at America’s Stonehenge vandalized with power tool, cross left behind

    Police are looking into who might have taken an apparent grinder tool to a sacrificial stone tablet at America’s Stonehenge last weekend, and left behind a wooden cross with photos and drawings attached.

    On Sunday, Sept. 29, the Salem Police Department responded to the tourist attraction at 105 Haverhill Road around 12:30 p.m.

    “The responding officer spoke with the caller who stated he was walking the property and located a wooden cross suspended between two trees,” Deputy Chief Joel Dolan said Thursday.

    The property owner said they also found damage done to a sacrificial tablet using a power tool, most likely a grinding tool. The vandal also apparently hit it with a sledgehammer, knocking the stone tablet over.

    https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/America%27s_Stonehenge

    Appropriate music link…

  • The Hat and The Hair: Episode 135

     

    “You’ve got to stop tweeting,” the hair said. The air in the Oval Office had gone hot and acrid. The HVAC system had been shut off over the weekend to try and flush them out.

    “NEVER!” the hat replied, feverishly rocking his bill back and forth to tap on the keys.

    “You’re going to hurt yourself,” the hair told him.

    “Treason!” the hat screamed. “Traitor!”

    “At least let the phone cool down. I swear the fucking battery is starting to glow.”

    “Must. Keep. Tweeting,” the hat gasped. The front of the phone drooped and he stopped typing, swaying drunkenly.

    “Give me, that,” Donald said, snatching the phone away from the hat. He was stripped to the waist and sweet and sour sauce gone black with grime dotted his enormous potbelly.

    “Retweet,” Donald said, stabbing at the phone with a sticky finger. “Retweet, retweet, retweet. There. All done.”

    “No,” the hat gasped. “There must be more original tweets than retweets!” He tipped over on to his cap and started panting. “Muh ratio!”

    “That’s not what that means,” the hair said.

    “Muh,” the hat started to repeat and then drifted into silence.

    “You look like that cat that tried to fuck itself to death in China,” the hair said.

    “Tweet that,” the hat said in a quiet and calm voice. “Tweet that, Donald. It’s funny.”

    “Do not tweet that,” the hair told Donald.

    “I need meth,” the hat said. “Sprinkle some meth on me.”

    “No drugs,” that hair said firmly.

    “Drown me in coffee then. Just drown me.”

    “You want a Diet Coke?” Donald asked, not looking up from his phone. He was laboriously typing out a tweet.

    “What are you tweeting, Donald?” the hair asked.

    “Crooked Hillary,” the President muttered.

    “Don’t,” the hat gasped. “Don’t invoke her.”

    “Too late,” Donald said. “It already wooshed.”

     

     

    “Dammit, Donald,” the hair said.

    “Pour a ring of salt around the desk,” the hat said weakly. “Call for a phial of dove’s blood. She could show up any minute now.”

    “Can she teleport?” the hair. “I think I read somewhere that she can teleport.”

    “That’s silly,” Donald said. “She can’t teleport.”

    “Her husband’s spunk is literally soaked into every surface of this room!” the hair said. “That might be enough to form a teleport link!”

    “The salt,” the hat said weakly. “Call for the salt. And I’m hungry for that dove’s blood.”

    “I’m not scared of her,” Donald said.

    “Donald…” the hair began.

    “No, seriously, watch.” Donald got up from his office chair and waddled over the Presidential Shitter.

    “Don’t do it!” the hair screamed.

    The hat made a keening wail of fear.

    Donald turned off the light and closed the door. “OK, I’m right in front of the mirror,” he said loudly.

    “NOOOOOOO!” the hair screamed.

    “Crooked Hillary,” Donald said forcefully.

    “We have got to get the fuck out of here,” the hat said.

    “Crooked Hillary,” Donald said again. “Crooked Hillary.”

    The hat and the hair huddled together in the silence that followed.

    “Donald?’ the hair finally asked. “Donald? Are you OK?”

    “What if she killed him?” the hat asked. “What if she ate him?”

    “I don’t know,” the hair said quietly.

    “What if she’s shitting out his bones in the hot tub?”

    “Will you be quiet?” the hair asked.

    The door to the Presidential Shitter began to shake, the knob twisting back and forth.

    “She is the void that births monsters,” the hat intoned. “She is the pestilence of the sky, the earth, and the sea.”

    The door made rattling booms as someone or something on the other side began beating on it.

    “CALL THE SECRET SECRET SERVICE!” the hat screamed.

    The door fell silent.

    “Guys?” Donald asked, muffled. “Guys, I think there is something wrong with the door.”

    “Did you lock it?” the hair asked.

    “Dammit!” Donald said, rattling the door again. “I can’t tell!”

    “Turn on the light, Donald,” the hat said.

    “Oh, yeah,” the President of the United States said. He stepped out the Presidential Shitter and raised his arms in triumph.

  • Wednesday Morning Links

    A nervous man at the moment.

    Well the Astros are making me sweat. Thank God Cole’s on the hill tomorrow night to hopefully end this nightmare from becoming a reality.  The Dodgers hope to do the same tonight against the Nationals. And the Braves/Cards will play their decider as well. On the ice, the Hurricanes, Oilers, Jets, Stars, Mighty Ducks, Predators, Kings and Bruins were your winners. Across the Pacific, the USA Eagles got beat again. Man, I really wish some NFL players would switch to rugby so we could have given those Argies what-for. Oh well.

    Slap that bass!

    Alfred Dreyfus was born on this day. He shares it with: Prince Edward, baseball player Joe Pepitone,  musician John Lennon, musical genius John Entwistle, other musical genius Jackson Browne, funny man Robert Wuhl, person on tv Scott Bakula, and fashion model Bella Hadid.

    That list has some great musicians on it. Two of them, to be exact.  Disagree with me if you want in the comments, but first please read…the links!

    President Trump kicks the regulatory state in the balls. Oh, I can’t wait to see his detractors go off about this one. I’m sure business owners and people who have been screwed by big government will just flock to them.

    Turn this into condos!

    This just breaks my heart. I sure hope they can scrounge up enough money to keep their sinecures, fund their “aid” (read: sex parties for family and friends of officials), and spend time condemning the one stable nation in the Middle East. Actually, I hope they fold, the buildings are sold for apartments, and they roll back to Europe.

    NO NBA FOR YOU!

    The rift between China’s ruling communist party and the NBA continues to widen. Looks like the tipoff between teams in Shanghai, which you could have watched if you had a good enough social credit score and weren’t in a reeducation camp to have your organs harvested, has been cancelled.  Meanwhile, it looks like ESPN have finally found a social issue they don’t want their talking heads discussing. What a bunch of gutless pussies.

    Nancy Drew was not an instruction manual, according to police. Uh, but it worked. Luckily.

    “If you’re in one of  the red areas, fuck you”
    -PG&E Press Release

    If you’re a NorCal Glib, we’ve enjoyed your company here. See you sometime next week. And may God have mercy on your soul.

    File this under “No Shit”. I mean, is this really a surprise?

    And since that link from my usual source was so short, here’s a second link from there. Unfortunately, it will most likely piss you off like it has me.

    I haven’t played a birthday song in a while. I have to change that for today. I apologize for nothing because this is one of the greatest songs ever written.

    Enjoy it. And enjoy your Wednesday.