Blog

  • Sunday Morning Links

    Well, first football Sunday of the year. Mom will sit with us and look absolutely bemused. We’ll be drinking, so will have a bemused look of our own. Much food, carrying on the tradition begun by Spud and me back in our California days. So I won’t dwell on this because we have to get ready for kickoff.

    Birthdays, of course, shall not be neglected. After all, today is the birthdate of The Hammer; my favorite classical composer; one of the funniest people on TV; a guy who gave political cults even a worse name; possibly the most vacant human but brilliant comic actor who ever lived; and of course, a particularly mendacious and windy leech who embodies everything wrong with government, and we can only hope he finally pops that blood vessel and has his exploding brain splatter Biden and Warren.

    And on that cheerful note, the news.

     

    “I had no idea! And I never lie!”

     

    Figure 19 more years of this shit. I can’t decide if I hate Bush, Obama, or Trump the most.

     

    Our professional diplomatic corps.

     

    Sieg HEIL! Next: lessons on winning from the Cleveland Browns.

     

    Can I predict the outcome?

     

    Not at our house, no.

     

    Let Joe be Joe.

     

    I am SHOCKED that the MA legal weed program is corrupt.

     

    Old Guy Music takes me back to my Austin days. I saw Dana’s band several times and they were remarkable. Though superficially this is girl-with-guitar, her music is sneaky-intricate and will grow on you with repeated listening. This one starts out slow and simple, then builds layer after layer, with quirky, complex, and delightful rhythms. Brilliant.

     

  • The Night Shift for September 7th, 2019

    Since the first installment was such a smash hit with the author, I am back to entertain myself some more.  Almost 300 comments on the last one, about half of which were mine, so, this is a literal no-brainer.  If you want in on this, you gotta drop me an email, so I can incorporate your rubbish ideas and claim them for my own share them in an equitable fashion.  Let the discussions commence:

    Let’s all be cool, even if it’s just for five minutes and twenty seconds.

    I can’t help but think of my fellow glibs when I watch this video.  Not only do we get to see just how nice a place can become with enough authoritarianism, but, we also find out some helpful trivia regarding the most interesting room in any house.  Also, if you’re looking to be enlightened on a daily basis, maybe check out all the available knowledge on the Today I Found Out channel.

    Does everyone around here know the story of (former) officer Tom Coleman?  He, of the Swisher Sweets saga, in Tulia, Texas?  Whether or not he is/was a racist asshole, he’s definitely a dipshit.  That there are plenty of officers gypsy cops just like him around the country may be old news, but, it’s still frightening.

    You can’t spell “sword” without words.  And, you shouldn’t build a sword without sex toys.  (Crusty Juggler, I’m looking at you)

    CPRM casually brought up the idea of Subaru Horror Theater being animated, and, suggested that he could do it, if the $ is there.  I say, fund that mutha!  I’d drop some more coin to see it happen–who’s with me?  C’mon; raise your hand…

    Autumn is fast approaching–“Fall”, to the lazier among us.  I’ve seen lots of love for this particular season here on this very site, which makes me wonder why that is.  So, tell me why–what am I missing by not experiencing this time of year in your area?  It’s nothing big around here, apart from being able to comfortably wear the new jacket and/or long-sleeve shirts I got during the off-season.  That, the State Fair, and Cold & Flu season.   *Yes, I know many of you have already given adequate justification for it.  I’m just trying to generate some nighttime conversations, dammit!

    Speaking of the State Fair of Texas…This is where you go to walk around for a few hours in lovely south Dallas Fair Park, buy over-priced crap, and try the best in deep fried goodness.  Be warned, though, that it’s difficult to dethrone the King.  Life isn’t complete until you’ve had a Fletcher’s Corny Dog and a Big Red.  Rest assured, my non-meat-eating brethren and sistren, that they have a veggie dog, too.  And, to be honest…I’m just hoping to get some of you down here and watch you deep-throat a fried wiener.

    Still speaking of the State Fair of Texas–If any of you degenerates has plans to visit the Fair, or, wants to, I am nowhere near south Dallas any more (Praise Be!).  However, I would be more than honored to be a tour guide/fifth wheel if you require.  I can also introduce you to some of the best fajitas in existence.

    I’ll end this with a shout-out to all the lovely Suzies of the world

     

  • Saturday night links of dampness

    Apparently so.

    Good thing we have a closet full of towels.
    This does not make for a relaxing weekend.

    Onto, the links!

     

    Adjust your tinfoil hat before clicking on this one.

     

    They all belong in a wood chipper, but you have to admire the self destructive tenacity.

     

    “Leprosy, all my skin is falling off of me! Now my mouth is where my nose should be. Oh leprosy, is bad for me.”

    (Sung to “Yesterday”, by the Beatles)

     

    I’ll just leave this here for your perusal.

     

    When you’ve lost Ryan Leaf…

     

    But when you have Robert Kraft.

     

    Rusty chainsaws and all that. If this keeps up much longer, I’m going to be forced to go shopping.

     

    Relevant.

  • There are no laws…

    Once again, I have to apologize to everyone here.  Depending on what sociologist you ask, I happen to be a millennial.  As many of you know, millennials ruin everything.  Which means I am going to go ahead and ruin this.  I will now brace myself for the onslaught of rotten cabbage you are all getting ready to throw at me…

    This is my review of Natural Light Aloha Beaches Hard Seltzer.

    I know what half of you are thinking:  “This isn’t beer.  Now these cucks want us to drink a shot of vodka dropped into bubbly water?  No way no how…”  A quarter of you are probably wondering how this is even marketable, 10% of you haven’t even read this far and skipped directly to comments, finally the last 15% of you have decided that it is good Natural Light decided to drop the mask and admit what they are selling is just water.

    So for that 25% of you curious why this is marketable…

    Hard Seltzer is not really a new concept.  Cocktails like the Gin & Tonic, the Vodka Tonic, or even the Scotch & Soda have been around for decades.  What makes it new is putting it into a can and marketing it as a lower calorie option to beer or wine.  In a sense it is lower in calories.  The typical White Claw for example is 100 calories per 12 ounce serving.  The alcohol is normally just white rum so there is hardly any flavor aside from the carbonation and the light, fruity flavoring they can add to it but it can be plain if one is that boring.

    This bro drinks White Claw

    This is what has won over the Bro Culture.  Seriously, you know those guys in their 20’s with their popped collars, imitation wayfarers, short pink shorts, and boating shoes without socks are drinking?  Hard seltzer.

    This bros girlfriend…also drinks White Claw

    How and why?  Because of the perception that beer is high in calories, and this is a better option from that standpoint.  Sort of like vaping—is it actually “good” for you to vape?  Probably not, but they are not marketing it as a “good” option but it is certainly a better option than smoking cigarettes.  The garden variety Pilsner for example is around 150 calories–yes even the supposedly better ones from Germany.  Light beer is around 100 and the ultralights are even lower, but at that point you are just drinking 3% abv(or less) and you may as well be drinking water.  The aforementioned White Claw is consistent at 5.5% abv, does not taste like watered down beer, and can be chugged right before you have to meet your mother-in-law without her knowing you’re a lush.

    So it is the “Bro Market” players like Four Loko and Natural Light are trying to penetrate by offering, in the case of Four Loko, an absurd 14% abv.  Are these bubbly water drinks really any good?  I can get into it in occasion and should I find the Four Loko version I will most certainly discuss it.  One thing I noticed is these tend to hit me a bit quicker than beer, but I also recover from it quicker than beer as well.  The Natural Light version comes in two flavors, the one I picked was mango mostly out of lack of options at the store in California where I purchased it.  It is overpowering—the mango flavor, that is. I believe the perfect combination with this particular hard seltzer is actually a shaker of Taijin, because grilled mango with a light brush of butter, topped with Taijin is absolutely delicious.

    Chances are pretty good, you hate everything about every word I just described, if so this is not for you.  Your 24 year old son living in your basement?  Sure, otherwise this is not for you.  Natural Light Aloha Beaches Hard Seltzer:  1.5/5

  • Saturday Morning Links of Amusement

    So I do drop into Twitter now and then just to see how amazingly stupid and horrible people can be. And they never disappoint me. Sloopy gave me a heads up about the ACLU wiping their asses with the Sixth Amendment, and I knew that if they were called on it, the flying monkeys would descend. Which they did. See, due process means that if you’re accused of sexual assault, you can’t be allowed to question your accuser because, you know, you’re presumed to be a rapist. And anyone who thinks that there’s a presumption of innocence and a right to confront your accuser at a hearing held by the State with massive penalties if you lose is a rape apologist. Even worse, Sloopy and Banjos are perverts for posting pics of their happy and confident kids. It really was delicious. You can start here to follow the fun. And here’s the profile pic of the woman who wants to lead the lynch mob.

    SugarFree’s first reaction, “Level 8 Librarian.” And fuck, he was absolutely right. Was it the smug smirk? The carefully painted eyebrows? The pasty complexion? The reference to her cats as her “children?” Dunno, but SugarFree is rarely wrong. All she’s missing is the cup of cocoa.

    Well, enough of this deliciousness. Let’s see whose birthday it is today. The true Lord of the Rings; the guy who created the ultimate let-down; a guy who, if he could, he’d give you such a belt; a sax dude with the biggest, brassiest sound I’ve ever heard come out of that instrument; and a woman who always evinces the reaction, “Wait, why am I reading this?”

    News to come.

     

    Because “covfefe” was too substantive a controversy, we now have this one to lighten things up.

     

    Ever navigate the parking lot at a Patel Brothers grocery? This will come as no surprise, then.

     

    Ha Ha, missed me!

     

    R. Kelly is his spirit animal.

     

    I wonder if she was in that Twitter mob? Well, fuck the Phillies, anyway.

     

    I like how WaPo carefully omits the “…while throwing Molotov cocktails” part.

     

    Molon labe, motherfuckers. Say, who’s the boss of DoJ? Oh, yeah, Trump. Fuck you, Donnie.

     

    Old Guy Music has birthday boy Sonny Rollins playing his second most famous tune with Miles Davis. Fuck, this is just great.

  • Economics Corner with Paul Krugman and Winston’s Mom

    Oh, hello darling…did you miss me?

     

    So here is Krugabe’s latest.  Now that Mugabe is dead, can we even call him that anymore?

    With each passing week it becomes ever clearer that Donald Trump’s trade war, far from being “good, and easy to win,” is damaging large parts of the U.S. economy. Farmers are facing financial disaster; manufacturing, which Trump’s policies were supposed to revive, is contracting; consumer confidence is plunging, largely because the public (rightly) fears that tariffs will raise prices.

    But Trump has an answer to his critics: It’s not me, it’s you. Last week he declared that businesses claiming to have been hurt by his tariffs should blame themselves, because they’re “badly run and weak.”

    They have been bad for business, but I am pretty sure Trump said he was going to raise tariffs on China for a long time.  He only became President in 2016, kept saying he liked the idea of tariffs, and would figure out a way to levy them on China.  Then the initial batch of tariffs went into effect in 2018…so given how much he’s run his mouth about it before doing it, he kind of has a leg to stand on.

    As with many Trump statements, one immediate thought that comes to mind is, how would Republicans have reacted if a Democratic president said something like that? In this case, however, we don’t have to speculate.

    As some readers may recall, back in 2012 Barack Obama made the obvious and true point that businesses depend on public investments in things like roads and education as well as on their own efforts. Referring to those public investments, he said, “You didn’t build that.” The usual suspects pounced, taking the line out of context and claiming that he was disrespecting entrepreneurs; Mitt Romney made this claim a centerpiece of his presidential campaign.

    Attacks on Obama as being anti-business were, of course, made in bad faith. Trump, however, really is denouncing businesses and blaming them for the problems his policies have created. And tariffs aren’t the only policy area where Trump and American business are now at odds.

    No, from a business perspective, Obama was every bit the rancid piece of shit president Trump is.  Between tax hikes, regulations, and his signature legislative achievement taking an already overregulated sector of the economy, one about 20% of the then $14 Trillion US Economy–and regulate it some more.

    Seriously, the 40 work week no longer exists because of Obama.

    Some of Trump’s most consequential actions involve his frantic efforts to dismantle environmental regulation. Unlike tariffs, this may at first sound like something business would want.

    It turns out, however, that many businesses want to keep those regulations in place. Major oil and gas producers oppose Trump’s relaxation of rules on emissions of methane, a potent greenhouse gas. Major auto producers have come out against Trump’s attempt to roll back fuel efficiency standards. In fact, in a move that has reportedly enraged Trump, several companies have reached an agreement with the state of California to stick with Obama-era rules despite the change in federal policy.

    Without reading any of your NY Times links to back up your claims, I am confident those businesses came out against those new regulations for one of three reasons:

    • They lobbied to put those regualtions in place, locking up their market share away from new competitors (like the ones against methane emissions, since methane is basically a fancy word for natural gas).
    • They spent a lot of money setting up their businesses to accommodate the old rules, and regulatory compliance is ALWAYS a cost center.
    • They are licking the collective asshole of the woke brigade

    When Trump won his upset victory in 2016, many investors assumed that his rule would be good for business. And he did indeed give corporations a huge tax cut — which has almost entirely been used for higher dividends and stock buybacks, with workers getting essentially nothing.

    You are a tiresome fuckwit.  OMG BUYBACKS!  Your going to give yourself twizzledick with how much you keep fucking that dead horse.

    Aside from the tax cut, however, it’s becoming increasingly clear that Trumpism is bad for business. Or more precisely, it’s bad for productive business.

    Imagine yourself as the head of a business that plans and expects to be around for a long time. Sure, you’d like to pay less in taxes and not have to comply with costly regulations. But you also want to invest in your company’s future. And to do that, you need some assurance that the rules of the game will be stable, so that whatever investments you make now aren’t suddenly made worthless by future shifts in policy.

    The big complaint business has about Trump’s trade war isn’t just that tariffs raise costs and prices, while foreign retaliation is cutting off access to important markets. It is that businesses can’t make plans when policy zigzags in response to the president’s whims. They don’t want to invest in anything that relies on a global supply chain, because that supply chain might unravel with Trump’s next tweet. But they can’t invest on the assumption that Trump’s tariffs will be permanent, either; you never know when or whether he’ll declare victory and surrender.

    Except they ARE shifting production out of China.  If you pulled your head out of your ass and paid any fucking attention you would know some of them started a year ago…They may not even raise prices all that much because many of them are keeping their supply chains out of the US.  Turns out a hedge against instability between countries might be to move your assets affected by instability out of one of those fucking countries.

    Environmental policy, it turns out, is similar. Business leaders aren’t do-gooders, but they are realists. Most of them understand that climate change is happening, that it’s dangerous, and that we’ll eventually have to transition to a low-emissions economy. They want to spend now to secure their place in that future economy; they know that investments that worsen climate change are bound to be long-run losers. But they’ll hold off on investing in our energy future as long as conspiracy theorists who consider global warming a gigantic hoax — and/or vindictive politicians determined to erase Obama’s achievements — keep rewriting the rules.

    Cigar cutting is yet another service I provide…

    To be fair, however, some kinds of business do thrive under Trumpism — namely, businesses that aren’t in it for the long run, operations whose strategy is to take the money and run. These are good times for mining companies that rush in to extract whatever they can, leaving a poisoned landscape behind; for real estate speculators sponsoring dubious ventures that take advantage of newly created tax loopholes; for for-profit colleges that leave their students with worthless degrees and crippling debt.

    In other words, under Trump it’s springtime for grifters.

    But to say the obvious, these smash-and-grab operations aren’t the kinds of business we want to thrive. Put it this way: Remaking the U.S. economy in the image of Trump University isn’t exactly making America great again.

    Yes, because you know all about running a business.  One thing you seem to miss is the next president is going to rewrite the rules, and the next one, and the next one, and the next one.  Its what the statists you keep supporting do.  The Gordon Geckos of the world are going to adapt to the new dumbass rules they come up with and find a way to continue making a profit.

  • Friday Afternoon Liiiiiinks

    Happy Friday, y’all. Football season starts for real this weekend. My wife is making about 5lbs of my favorite taco recipe, and I have some beer. Life is good.

    Are Iowa women the locus of infection, or just eating too many pig ear dog treats?

    “We have no faith in Boris Johnson to lead the UK to Brexit” and “we also don’t want to hold new elections until after Brexit”. I love politics.

    What kind of corrupt administration would investigate companies who refuse to cooperate with Federal regulators? I’m going to go with “all of them”.

    Is this the worst kind of science reporting?

     

     

  • Over-rated: The Week in College Football Polls

    Ranking college football teams is contentious stuff, and since I love football and math and human nature, this is one of my favorite topics.

    Since I’m a jerk, I like making fun of people, and over-rating things is easy pickings.  People are optimistic; they run in herds (so do lemmings), and they are bad at math and statistics.  So, since figuring your own ratings takes time while poking fun at the overly optimistic is easy (sports is a target-rich zone), I just point out rankings that are likely to be too high.  I’ll get some of these wrong (shrugs:  so does everyone, that’s how the pointy ball bounces), but I’ll also get to point and Nelson-laugh a time or two most weeks.

    To get us started, I stuck my neck out and had some opinions last week and was brave enough to put them in writing.  Like most first weeks, this one didn’t tell us much, but a couple of teams failed to handle their cupcakes well.

    Week Zero Most OverRated Football Program Results

    1 UCF                         played nobody

    2 Northwestern           oops; see below
    3 Washington St         played nobody

    4 Florida                      barely survived Miami
    5 Utah                         did not man-handle BYU
    6 Syracuse                   hung 24 on Liberty!
    7 Iowa St                     edged North Iowa . . . edged!
    8 Texas                        played nobody
    8 Stanford                   hung 17 on Northwestern!
    8 Georgia                    handled Vandy
    11 Clemson                 destroyed hapless Ga Tech
    11 Oklahoma               was sorely tested by Houston
    11 LSU                       played nobody

     

    So not much news, irony, or missteps . . . as we would expect.

     

    I honestly can’t figure out why I had an opinion about them

    Northwestern:  how’d they get in my list last week!?  I have no idea. . . . . . let’s get back to business.

     

    So I had a clerical error and a few insights for the first week.  Since the weekend, the AP re-racked its votes and came out with a new top 25, so here’s, predictably,

    Week Two Most OverRated Football Program Results

    1        Iowa St            how our new king is still ranked at all?

    2        Florida             no one will admit they were wrong yet

    3        Utah                they know something or I do; we can’t both be right
    3        Syracuse          holding steady, their news yet to come
    5        Texas               the Notre Dame of southwestern over-ratedness

    5        Michigan St    joins our list after stomping little Tulsa
    5        Georgia           is good, but more than two teams are even better

    8        UCF                opinions and facts are coming together slowly

    9        Notre Dame     perennially over-rated, they finally join our list

    9        Texas A&M    joins the list after blowing up Texas State at home

    9        Auburn            is suddenly slightly over-rated after defeating Oregon

    12        Stanford          proved enough to be somewhat less over-rated
    12        Clemson          it’s always easy to say the number one team is slightly over-rated

    12        Oklahoma        is plenty deep, solid, and might justify the hype eventually

    12        Oregon                        got spanked in the ratings but is still barely over-rated

     

    No Longer OverRated Because I was Wrong

    LSU                            I think this was a brain fart, but I should have caught it so my bad

    Washington St            proved enough to come off my list

     

    So closes another week in silly season.

  • Friday Morning Links

    This is a metaphor for the entire game. And that team won!

    Did anybody watch that whole football game last night? I don’t mean the first half and then glaze over in boredom for the second, I mean actually make it through the whole thing?  Well I tried but failed.  That was boring as shit. Trubisky, you should have played during the preseason. You suck.  Aaron Rodgers was hardly much better.  And it was punctuated by having to hear Chris Collinsworth talk out of his ass the whole time.  Well anyway, the season is underway and the Packers won.

    You know who else won? The Firstros did…after going down 7-0 in the second inning.  They scratched and clawed their way back in and won in the 13th after five hours.  Now that was fun to watch.  Your other winners were Cincy, Chicago (AL), Detroit, St Louis, Oakland, Miami, Texas, Chicago (NL), Minnesota, Tampa, and Atlanta.

    Not sure what you were expecting, kid.

    And Serena will play Andreescu in the US Open Finals and probably pound her into the court. Or threaten to do the same to a linesman if she’s losing. Either way, somebody is getting pounded by that Hulk. Also on Saturday, we have a nice slate of college football. Unless you’re a Tennessee Volunteer. Then you’ve got to worry about losing the BYU after that colossally-bad Georgia State (2-10 in the Sun Belt last year) loss last week. Oh well, they can still be Champions At Life.

    OK, birthdays today are: French badass Marquis de Lafayette, bootlegger Joseph Kennedy, country legend David Allen Coe, rock legend Roger Waters, actresses Swoozie Kurtz and Jane Curtin, businesswoman Carly Fiorina, comedians Michael Winslow and Jeff Foxworthy, Pippa Middleton and The Office actor Idris Elba.

    OK, off we go into…the links!

    Say what you want about his politics, but he sure was a snappy dresser.

    Robert Mugabe, who I assume the left will liken a lot to Trump today, has finally shuffled off the mortal coil. Couldn’t have happened to a nicer guy.  Plus, he died a trillionaire! So you know he was good with money. Just goes to show what a socialist can do when he sets his mind to something.

    Uh, maybe keep that thing on safety, huh? N0 people were hurt by the missile. No creatures from Tucson were either.

    This is an interesting proposition. And one that would be awesome if there’s no tax money involved and no government oversight.

    This is just about accurate now.

    The ACLU continues its slide into the toilet.  They’ve never cared about the 2A. And they’ve all but abandoned the 1A lately.  I guess they figured they may as well strike the 4A off their list.  Won’t be long before they say “a soldier in every home!” What a sad decline.

    A man is dead. The cops keep their jobs. And the taxpayers take it up the ass. It is a story as old as the Golden State itself.

    Thanks for letting us know, I guess. Whoever the fuck you are.  Seriously, why do these attention-whores think anybody gives a shit that they’ve decided not to run for President as a third-party candidate?  Also, your coffee sucks.

    I know I’ll play a birthday artist most days when possible. But I’m boycotting, divesting and sanctioning the one rocker from the list. So we’re gonna do this instead. Hope you enjoy.

    Now, go have a great day. And enjoy the full slate of NFL this Sunday. Pace yourselves.

  • Beware California

    Bullhead City, Arizona 

    It’s hot, for some reason, it’s hotter than the Sonoran Desert. I will keep this part short, while heat is good, human oven baking isn’t, thank God for AC Technicians, or Phoenix et. al. wouldn’t exist.

    Boss decides to break off of my next project for a bunch of California jobs, and added more AZ jobs, so I’m booked through the year, better than the beginning.

     San Dimas! (almost)

    It turns out there is a lot of tourism this time of year, so I couldn’t book a room within 35 miles of Ontario, home base in CA, so I attempted to stay in a motel I won’t rag on on but rhymes with dead hoof gin; drug dealers, homeless bums in the parking lot, and meth dealers right above me building a lab. We checked out at 11 pm, and headed to Chuck’s.

    Safe! Bella and I finally got to visit the Wife, it’s been 3 weeks. I realized I haven’t been without people, family or otherwise for 30+ years. Glad to be back, and Momma got to visit her Doggie.

    Of course my scope of work changed before I ever started, additional work here, and a lost project in San Francisco, this one directly Union related (Fuck unions, YMMV)…….

    Interlude, go get a beer……..

    San Francisco, (Hayward, East bay) 

    We were here in June? Since then we learned a lot about where to stay, and now we know… loud, trashy and the entire area is cold, traffic is a joke, but the people are nice, plus one for that. Monday night, I roll over the San Mateo bridge, a toll but no biggie, except Cash Only! What barbarity is this? One time tolls? Debit, credit? I had to scrape sticky coins from my console, but I made it.

    Finally finding Chipotle 2080, I check in with security, and when I go to the site, the manager says “nope, I don’t know you.” I have a key but no alarm code, this cost me and my company an entire day. Idiots!

    While that job went south, my next job did the same thing, so I’m stuck till next week. Did I mention bridges freak me out? At night it’s just a hill, in the morning I want to throw up, just panic for 6 miles.

    The Bay Area

    I didn’t get to San Francisco proper, just the south peninsula, but one thing noticed was how clean it was, no poop, trash, shopping carts, no homeless people, so it’s not all bad up here.

    Gas is $4.29 a gallon, milk is $3.18, those are my marks when traveling– also McD’s coffee, low is $1.08 CO, high is CA $2.40, amazing. This place sucks, and I will be glad to go back to AZ, maybe get my shit together, I’m saving lots of money for a place, til next time!