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  • The Hat and The Hair: Episode 140

    “Impeachment!” Donald bellowed from the Presidential Shitter. He flushed the toilet again and groaned and then flushed it again.

    “Two articles!” the hat told him, inching away from the open door of the bathroom. Donald had stopped closing the door on the advice of counsel, but Rudy was never around to have to experience it.

    “Can’t you leave me on the desk?” the hat heard the hair ask wanly between flushes. Then the gold toilet roared again.

    “Ten flushes! Ten!” Donald yelled. “This is ridiculous!”

    “We are going to have to prepare a defense for the Senate,” the hat said.

    “I want a better toilet!” Donald said. “The President of the goddamn United goddamn States should have the most powerful toilet in the Free World!”

    “It already flushes like a jet engine,” the hair shouted over the toilet flushing again.

    “Then why isn’t it working?!?”

    “Big Mac casserole?” the hat asked quietly. “Three pounds of pardoned turkey meat?”

    “Poke it with something,” the hair said.

    “With what?” Donald asked. “Poke it with what?”

    “Don’t you have a poop knife?” the hair asked.

    “Poop knife?” the hat asked, horrified.

    “Still back in the old country,” Donald said. “The other side of the family ended up with it.”

    “Poop knife?” the hat asked again, not wanting to believe his little fabric ears.

    “It’s a knife you use to break up turds, you uncultured brute!” the hair shouted. “All the best families pass them down as heirlooms.”

    “Is this a thing?” the hat asked. “Are you just fucking with me?”

    The toilet flushed again and again before the hair answered, “Why would I make something like that up?”

    “OMG, Donald! More fiber in your diet!” the hat screamed.

    “I hate fiber!” Donald yelled. “It makes me shit!”

    “THAT’S THE POINT!’ the hat yelled back.

    “This is all pointless! You’re being IMPEACHED!” the hair told Donald.

    “I HATE PEACHES!” Donald screamed.

  • Wednesday Morning Links

    Moving on to the knockout rounds…

    A big sports news day yesterday, to say the least.  Gerrit Cole is now a Yankee after signing the biggest contract ever for a pitcher.  The Dallas Stars fired their coach for something non-results related (without saying what it was), and some teams punched their ticket to the UCL knockout stages including Liverpool and Napoli, the latter of which celebrated by firing their manager…who will probably be at Arsenal by Christmas. Some dude from an NAIA school scored 100 points in a basketball game. And Le’Veon Bell claims to have bowled a 251.

    Moving Louisville down in the polls…

    As for actual game results, the winners on the ice were Tampa, Montreal, Buffalo, Nashville, Anaheim, Winnipeg, the aforementioned Dallas Stars, Carolina, Calgary, Toronto, Vegas and LA.  And in college basketball, #1 Louisville got thumped by Texas Tech, Maryland went down to Penn State, Northern Iowa topped ranked Colorado State, while Kansas and Baylor managed to not lose.

    Roll. Roll. Roll in ze hay!

    Birthday celebrants for today are Florentine Pope Leo X, American patriot George Mason, Canadian brewer John Labatt, amusement park creator Walter Knott, Russian writer Alexandr Solzhenitsyn, actress Rita Moreno, Snow Miser cosplayer John Kerry, underrated comedic actress Teri Garr, Motley Crue’s Nikki Sixx, wrestler Rey Mysterio, and NWA’s DJ Yella.

    That’s a pretty diverse and quality roster, especially compared to the last couple of days.  Anyway, on to…the links!

    A deal has been reached to replace NAFTA. The President says he got what he wanted. Pelosi said “we ate his lunch”. So since they’re both claiming to have gotten what they want, I assume it will be bad for everyone who it directly impacts. Since, you know, that’s what happens when politicians agree on something.

    A handful of moderate vulnerable Democrats propose censure rather than impeachment. But Pelosi plans to move forward with the impeachment vote next week. And Trump wants a Senate trial in order to expose the House process. Meanwhile, the American people polled express little interest and continue to be polarized on the issue.

    His campaign is thirsty.

    There aren’t that many people out there that like Michael Bloomberg. In fact, he’s downright loathed.  Which is a good thing. Meanwhile, Trump’s favorable/unfavorable numbers are better than any potential Dem opponent. Having said that, there may be some inherent bias in the polling, as some Dem voters may be saying their preferred candidate is favorable and their rivals for the nomination unfavorable but will later pull the lever for whoever wins the nomination…so long as it isn’t that asshole Bloomberg.

    A chemical warfare attack was carried out in Florida. Looks like everybody is ok, thankfully, although the vehicle will need to be impounded and destroyed in the name of safety.

    Enjoy your 15 minutes…they’re almost up.

    Gratuitous ass-slapper speaks out. Jesus, why are people treating this like it’s the end of the world.  The married church youth leader has been barred from future races. Because that’s what happens nowadays.

    Teacher’s aide busted for having sex with a couple of students at a community pool. She also gave them booze and drugs, apparently. Hey, go big or go home.

    Speaking of our educators, one came up with a modest proposal for fifth-graders to ponder over. Personally, I don’t have a problem with it. It was part of colonial life and puts the kids in the position of making a moral or financial decision when answering, which could have been an interesting learning exercise. But outragers gonna get outraged.

    Jesus, that must have been one big tote-bag. Like those ones they give you at Ikea to carry around the store when you forget to grab a cart but find a few accent pillows and some batteries you just gotta have.

    Continuing the theme for the week. I also just realized this is the kind of problematic song some dickhead like John Legend will try to remake someday for clout. I won’t be listening.

    That’s it for me, friends.  Go have a great day.

  • Chapter 18: The Walking Wounded

    One year ago today, I was stationed in Dhahran, Saudi Arabia. I received my fourth anthrax vaccine. That’s when my problems began. Until that point, I weighed 175 pounds, 5’9″, excellent physical condition. That night, I had a raging fever and my physical condition continued to deteriorate over the next couple of weeks. During that time, I lost facial hair, my testicles shrank to the size of a peanut – the right one that I could find. I had rapid weight gain, mainly in the form of subcutaneous fat, suffered mood swings, had severe groin pain, and I lost muscular strength. I went from a normal workout bench press of 280 pounds to less than 100, and that was in the space of less than two weeks . . .

    As I got ready to leave Saudi Arabia in May, I visited with a new flight surgeon. He reviewed my records and he noted the strong link between a shot on one day and being ill the next. He also directed that I put in a VAERS report at an Air Force medical company co-located on that same compound. I wrote up the report, I walked over and an Air Force – a senior Air Force doctor came out and blocked the report. He scrawled across the back of the page that he did not think they were related, that I needed to see a urologist, and if the urologist concurred then he’d go ahead and file the report. Had he asked, or had he looked at my records, he’d see that I’d been under medical care, specialist care, for over six months.[i]

    “Sir, they’re saying that they’re not going to let me come there to testify.” David Ponder’s voice echoed over the phone. I waited to answer.

    “Listen, don’t worry. Jen’s calling Beth Clay on the staff of the House Government Reform Committee. I’ll get hold of someone there. Believe me, your command isn’t going to take on a Congressional committee.” David Ponder had been invited to testify before the House Committee on Government Reform. He was calling from Okinawa.

    “I hope not, sir.” Although we had gotten the stay, David was still worried that he would be left in Okinawa. This was because members of his command had told him that he would be left in Okinawa until the stay dissolved and/or the case was resolved, even though his unit was preparing to return from its seven-month deployment in the first week of October 2000.

    Coincidentally, in the first week of October 2000, the House Committee on Government Reform was holding another hearing on the anthrax vaccine program. The Committee had already issued an extraordinarily condemning report in April of 2000, after some eight or nine hearings. Specifically, the report was critical of DoD’s media campaign against members who refused to accept the vaccine and it called for a moratorium on the entire program. In an interesting comment on the state of military-civil affairs, Marine Major General Randall West, a Cobra pilot of some repute and point man for the AVIP, immediately held a press conference rebutting the Committee’s report. It was surprising, and disturbing, to hear a senior military officer criticizing a committee of Congress because of its disagreement with a DoD program.

    “Don’t worry, David. We’ll get you here.” I said it with more conviction than I felt. I was in my house in Quantico, Virginia. I had to leave Okinawa early because of medical needs for one of my daughters. The Marine Corps had been fairly accommodating in sending me to Quantico to be near appropriate medical care, but it meant I had been removed from defense. I was now a prosecutor, while retaining my anthrax cases that were subject to the stay.

    “It’s hard not to, sir.”

    “We’ll get you here.” If David’s command didn’t send him, I wasn’t sure what I would do. David’s wife, Jennifer, was very active in lobbying for David with Congressional members. I hoped she would be able to put some pressure on a representative who would in turn put the heat on David’s command. I was already way over my head. An appellate stay was above my paygrade as a Captain, but General Officers giving press rebuttals to Congressional reports was way, way out of my depth.

                                                                                                                                                                                                               

    When I was detailed David Ponder’s case in Okinawa, my first thought was to deal it out quickly and move on. As I learned more about 10 U.S.C. §1107, I was shocked, but excited, as a defense attorney. I never really focused on, nor was it particularly fruitful for me to argue in court about the safety of the anthrax vaccine. I myself was skeptical of people reporting adverse reactions. Sitting in the Rayburn Building on October 5, 2000, in a chair right behind David Ponder, I had a change of heart. I watched and listened to human tragedies. One woman, the wife of BioPort worker Richard Dunn, explained how her husband died from a systemic reaction to the vaccine.  The coroner for Ionia County, Michigan, announced that Richard Dunn had inflammation throughout his body as a reaction to the vaccine. Mr. Dunn had taken his eleventh shot of the anthrax vaccine in May. He died on July 13, 2000. Richard Dunn was required to take the same shots as service members, as well as annual boosters, because he cared for some of the animals at BioPort.

    Immediately after the coroner’s statement, BioPort issued a general denial, including a claim that they had never heard anything about such reactions at the plant.  This statement was hard to square with the testimony of Mr. Dunn’s wife, who claimed that BioPort actually called several times to see how Richard Dunn was doing and called doctors for him. Either way, her testimony and the coroner’s finding was significant for me because it offered some legal hope for David Ponder, Jason Stonewall, and Vittolino Arroyo.

    Part of the basis for the judge’s ruling in our cases was that we had been unable to show any serious adverse reaction to the vaccine that would justify someone refusing the shot. As I listened to some of the stories of people on the panel, I realized that there were some seriously injured people. One young man, who had begun to have lesions that looked like burn marks all over his body immediately after he received a shot, testified about how he had lost his vision and continued to have medical problems. Incredibly, his father had served in the Army also in Vietnam and had cancer from the defoliant Agent Orange. An Army Major, John Irelan, detailed how Air Force doctors had refused to connect his illness with anthrax and blocked his filing of a VAERS form.

    This refusal of military doctors to even acknowledge adverse reactions was a common theme that I heard repeated by many servicemembers. It was disturbing because it allowed Major General West, in the panel that followed ours, to claim that “of all the people that were here today, there was only one person that has a medical diagnosis that directly links it to vaccine.”[ii] In other words, if military doctors do not diagnose it as anthrax related, then it’s not anthrax related, and therefore there really aren’t that many adverse reactions. Even responding to the coroner’s report finding a systemic reaction to the vaccine General West claimed that “[t]here are other medical experts who believe it [the death] was not [AVIP connected].”[iii] It became clear to me the military wanted it to be a battle of experts and the DoD could always trot out its own medical personnel and how could anyone gainsay them, given the classified nature of DoD vaccine research? And who would dare to question a doctor’s impartiality or medical opinion, even though they were essentially under orders and saying what their employer wanted them to say?

    This is yet another sordid aspect of the anthrax program – the compromise of military medical professionals in service to a corrupt and illegal DoD vaccine program. Report after Congressional report and inquiry after Congressional inquiry reveal that military personnel were not told required information about vaccines or medications, and worse yet, told only that they had to take it. Congressional and GAO reports detail this repeatedly, from the Gulf War’s use of investigational drugs to failed recordkeeping attempts in Bosnia with the encephalitis vaccine. The anthrax vaccine was no different, in large part because the DoD, from the program’s inception, made it a “commander’s program.”[iv] This oft-repeated phrase transformed the medical officer from an independent expert bound by his profession’s ethical rules to provide medical care to servicemembers into a Commander’s staff officer responsible solely for ensuring that the “commander’s program” is carried out, with such trivial consideration as laws or medical ethics thrown in the garbage. Medical officers were given nothing more than talking points around the AVIP, entirely from DoD briefing slides and a DoD website. When I cross-examined the Group Surgeon for Third Force Service Support Group, he acknowledged this was explicitly the case, all while still defending the program.

    During the government’s direct examination, the doctor made broad, sweeping pronouncements about the AVA’s effectiveness against aerosolized anthrax. When I questioned him about the manufacturer’s IND application filed in 1996, he was unaware of it. His answer was that there “may be some political ramifications why they filed that. I don’t know.”[v] I questioned him about the rhesus monkey studies using the AVA and his knowledge of them.

    Q:   . . . have you read the actual results of the study?

    A:  I haven’t read the actual study.

    Q:  Well how do you know then that it is what you said it is? What is your testimony based upon?

    A:  Based upon the briefing sheets that I get. I also looked at the DoD anthrax website which is information that we have –

    What was interesting to me about the exchange wasn’t just his ignorance about the most basic aspects of the vaccine or the program, but was that people refusing the vaccine, who are still patients like any other patient, were now “they” and the doctor and the DoD were “we.”

    This is what happens to those who refuse. Even doctors, who should appreciate more than anyone patient fears about taking shots, had become zealots in defense of the anthrax program. In no other medical treatment regime do we find doctors in lockstep with a military commander about the nature of a medication or treatment. The DoD and military leaders were not providing briefing slides or medical information about Hepatitis B, for example. Or Japanese encephalitis. In those cases, the commander relied upon the expert advice of the doctor to advise the commander of the need for a particular treatment or medical intervention. Somehow with the AVA, however, the entire process was reversed. The histrionic portrayal of the biological warfare threat was such that commanders were now in the position of advising doctors about the necessity of treatments and, more importantly, about the history, background, and safety of such treatments. Had the doctor at Stonewall’s trial looked in a basic microbiology textbook, he would have found that among thirty-six vaccines, the anthrax vaccine was the only one listed under the category “special immunization and experimentation.”[vi]

    Unfortunately, military doctors, non-warriors in a warrior culture, found in biological warfare a chance to be in a position heretofore unheard of for military doctors, as a kind of “biological warfare intelligence officer,” using their medical expertise to advise commanders about the “threat” from disease via biological attack. In the past, the threat from disease was no different for the military than it was for the civilian population and the military doctor’s role was much like a civilian doctor’s: treat people for illness and injury, using preventative medicine to the extent possible. In the Gulf War and post-Gulf War, doctors became special advisors, responsible for ensuring that a vaccine – now considered a part of “total force protection” – was administered to the troops, no matter what. Military doctors stepped all too willingly into this role, abandoning professional objectivity in an effort to be “part of the team.”[1]

    The media bombardment surrounding the anthrax threat allowed doctors to convince themselves of the necessity for their involvement. If it is psychologically understandable, it is still professionally inexcusable. Doctors have an ethical duty to their patients outside of their job as officers, just as lawyers do to the law. If a commander told his staff judge advocate that he was contemplating murdering innocent civilians, then the lawyer would be obligated not simply to advise the commander not to do it, but to stop him from completing such unlawful action or to turn him in for the violation if he went forward. George Annas, in his excellent article on this subject, addressed this question with respect to military doctors.

    What should physicians in the military do when asked to administer investigational agents without the informed consent of the soldiers? Even if such administration is legal . . . it is unethical and following orders is no excuse for unethical conduct, even in combat. It would seem that the only justification a physician could have for participating in the administration of experimental or investigational agents without consent is that the physician sincerely believes that the agents are therapeutic under combat conditions. This is a difficult position to defend, because war does not change the investigational nature of a drug or vaccine. Such a decision would also be contrary to military regulations, which state that although a serviceperson must accept standard medical treatment, or face court-martial, soldiers have no obligation to accept interventions that are not generally recognized by the medical profession as standard procedures.

    A related question is whether the military physician is primarily responsible for the health and well-being of the soldiers under the physician’s care (as in civilian life) or must subordinate the medical interests of the soldier-patients to the military mission. Remarkably there is no written policy or standard view on this question in the military. This issue deserves critical attention in peacetime, because it is not susceptible to rational thought during wartime. An unequivocal policy upholding traditional patient-centered ethics, although not legally required, seems the most responsible position for U.S. military physicians to take.[vii]

    Unfortunately, there still was no unequivocal policy by the respective service Surgeons General on the military doctor’s role. In the case of the anthrax vaccine program, it is important to realize that we were not at war. The rule regarding informed consent has gone from the Nuremberg Code’s absolute position, to Desert Storm’s wartime exigency, to the peacetime potentiality of terrorism. This happened with very little scholarly or public debate and notwithstanding the harms suffered by World War II, Korean, Vietnam, and now Gulf War veterans from investigational treatments administered without informed consent. Mr. Annas, who holds a law degree and a Master’s in public Health from Harvard, testified before the FDA rulemaking committee regarding the Rule 23(d) waiver.

    In December 1995, I was invited to participate in a meeting on Rule 23(d) sponsored by the Presidential Advisory Committee on Gulf War Veterans’ Illnesses. During the meeting, DOD representative continually referred to American soldiers as “the kids” and the responsibility of DOD to protect “the kids.” I probably waited too long to tell him that I found this offensive, but he apologized for his choice of words. Nonetheless, the words are telling. Rule 23(d) treats American soldiers like kids and applies the basic rules for research on children to them with regard to consent – someone else makes the decision for them because they are seen as too immature to make it for themselves. For an adult this is always an affront to human dignity and disrespectful of personhood. In this regard, Rule 23(d) is a mistake and an aberration.[viii]

    This reference to soldiers as “kids” has another, more subtle, persuasive use.  While Mr. Annas viewed the use as derogatory with respect to consenting adults, it also conveys to the listener that the speaker is seeking to protect children, and who could possibly argue that protecting children is not a worthy cause? Of course, as Mr. Annas pointed out, military members are hardly children.

    Mr. Annas was also troubled by the DoD’s insistence that keeping the waiver of Rule 23(d) in place was “consistent with law and ethics.” As he notes,

    Soldiers are not pieces of equipment. They have numbers, but they retain their humanity and basic human rights. DOD should have exercised a third kind of courage – the courage to admit its mistake – and asked FDA to rescind Rule 23(d) and removed this pointless blot on our military laws. Instead, when Public Citizen petitioned FDA to revoke the rule in 1996, DOD supported continuing the waiver of consent rule as “fully consistent with law and ethics.” In mid 1997, FDA asked for public comments on what should become of the rule. The answer remains simple: it should be rescinded because it violates every code and ethical principle developed since World War II to regulate research with human subjects, and it is unacceptable to permit commanders to turn soldiers into research subjects.[ix]

                                                                                                                                                                                                               

    Endnotes

    [1] This phenomenon is by no means limited to doctors. I have noticed many other non-combatant staff advisors guilty of doing the same thing, abandoning professional doctrines in an effort to please commanders and “get the job done.” Lawyers who serve as Staff Judge Advocates are known for this, frequently acting as if they are the personal attorney of the Commander. I have sat in classes given by senior judge advocates, more than one, who have stated that “the challenge is not just to tell the Commander what the law is, but to find a way to allow him to do what he wants, to fit that within the law.” I call that spin. Better to tell a commander that his actions are unlawful, defend that position if it is honestly held, and suffer the consequences than to prostitute one’s legal opinion and engage in some scholarly rationalization to justify going along with the commander.

    [i] Testimony of Major Jon Irelan, US Army, before the House Government Reform Committee, Oct. 5, 2000.

    [ii] Testimony of MGen Randy West, USMC, before the House Government Reform Committee, Oct. 5, 2000.

    [iii] Id.

    [iv] “Department of Defense Anthrax Vaccine Immunization Program AVIP: Unproven Force Protection,” Report of the House Comm. On Govt Reform, Apr. 3, 2000, p.3.

    [v] Testimony of Cdr Gregory Chin, USN, in U.S. v. Stonewall, record at p.81.

    [vi] Principles and Practice of Infectious Diseases, 4th ed., p. 2770 (1995).

    [vii] George J. Annas, “Protecting Soldiers from Friendly Fire: The Consent Requirement for Using Investigational Drugs and Vaccines in Combat,” Amer. J. of Law and Medicine, Vol. 24, Jan. 1, 1998.

    [viii] Id.

    [ix] Id.

  • ¡Martes por la tarde enlaces mexicanos!

    ¡Buenos tardes Gliberinos!

    Lots of fun stuff happening today between impeachment, porn staches, and such, but I’m going to do what I always do and give you news from the south.

    The house took a break from staging a coup correcting the election impeachment circus kabuki theater inquiry and passed something resembling the USMCA.  I particularly liked how Pelosi took credit for a negotiated agreement between foreign countries, because that’s in the job description for a congrexperson.

    ¡Pongamos a estos comunistas en hielo!

    A Chilean C-130 disappeared on the way to Antarctica.  What do you want, a Bolivia joke, Mad Dog Murdock, Aliens? …nah. There is no indication the plane was filled with Communist dissidents.

    Brazilian culture official says rock music leads to abortions.

    Shootout near Mexico’s presidential residence.  Good thing Mexico outlawed guns amirite?

    A fun piece about a Citgo executives detained in Venezuela.  Their first mistake, clearly was working in Venezuela.

    The six men were arrested just before Thanksgiving in 2017. They had been called for a last-minute meeting in Venezuela. Once in the conference room at the PDVSA headquarters in Caracas, armed, masked security agents arrested the men.

    The families were perplexed when they learned about the arrest after Venezuela’s chief prosecutor announced it during a press conference.

    Since their arrest, the men had been held in the basement of Venezuela’s military counterintelligence agency under conditions that relatives have described as human rights violations. At one point, 60 people shared a space meant for 22, lights were kept on 24 hours a day and they were allowed outdoors for 20 minutes every six to eight weeks.

    I think today is a Breaking Benjamin kind of day. I can’t remember if I linked this one before, I dunno.

  • Tuesday Morning Links

    That’s a great lineup.

    It took the Eagles OT to beat the Giants. I repeat: it took the Eagles OT to beat the Giants.  Jesus, that’s bad. Stephen Strasburg is apparently about to sign a deal to stay with the Nats worth a quarter of a billion dollars. The British hate free speech. Liverpool have a huge fight on their hands today to qualify for the UCL knockout stages.  And two Buckeyes, An LSU Tiger (and graduate from OSU) and a Sooner (and graduate from Bama) are your Heisman finalists, although Burrow is effectively a lock for the award.

    Seriously, WATCH THIS MOVIE!

    If you were born on this day, you share it with Scottish King James I, abolitionist leader William Lloyd Garrison, morose and tedious writer Emily Dickinson, terrorist organization founder Abu Abbas, the fine actor Michael Clarke Duncan, actor Kenneth Branagh, hockey player Rob Blake, and drummer Meg White.

    Not exactly a superb list, but I will say this: if you haven’t seen The Slammin’ Salmon, you haven’t seen Michael Clarke Duncan at his best. And with that, we segue in to…the links!

    Mr Creosote says “not one more witness”.

    Looks like the Democrats in the House will release two articles of impeachment today. Lindsay Graham announced that he’s not planning to call Schiff or others involved in the process as witnesses. Not sure I am happy about that, especially after yesterday’s farce where Nadler let Schiff’s right hand sit in the witness chair and give a 45 minute speech without being sworn in or taking questions and then sit on Nadler’s shoulder and question other witnesses.

    The IG Report effectively lets the government get away with spying on an American political campaign based on bullshit. Well, for now anyway. There’s always hope Barr and Durham do something. but I won’t hold my breath.

    Volcker enjoying a cigar and testifying before Congress

    Paul Volcker has died. The former Fed Chairman is credited with fighting inflation…and winning.

    I don’t understand. I always assumed this is half of what Snapchat is for. And the other half was to drive parents crazy when their kids announce their life’s ambition is to become an “influencer”.

    It begins…

    This is a good start. Now if they could only get strong enough to carry human bodies, this will get interesting.

    It never surprises me that these situations almost always happen to journalists. And people always jump on it without knowing all the facts.  But that’s the world we live in.

    I didn’t intend to set a theme for the week yesterday, but I suppose I did. And this continues it. Enjoy. I know I will.

    Now get out there and have a great day!

  • Building A Safe – Part 1

    Here’s the background story – it was a dark and stormy night and I was canoeing with all of my firearms as we all do from time to time. All of a sudden a rogue wave came up and capsized my canoe, and I lost ALL of my firearms to the depths of the oceans. It’s a tragic story. Completely 100% true too. I’m still really bummed about it, so I decided I would build a safe for future firearms to cheer me up.

    I don’t have a traditional firearm safe, but I do have a couple of the green metal cabinets that you can lock. That’s always been good enough for me, but it means I need a closet or space big enough to house it all. For the last several years everything has been piled in a closet along with boxes and storage bins from the last move. I decided I was going to build a storage cabinet that I can lock everything inside, that doesn’t say “guns in here” to my guests. I can simply say “we keep some valuables in here, along with some important documents.” Plus I have a lot of wood laying around and I need to do something with it.

     

    My plan was to have it big enough to house both the big and small green metal cabinets, with a shelf area between the two. So I made a dado jig to cut dadoes in ¾ inch plywood for the sides and the back that would all be the same width and more importantly in the same spot.

    For the sides, I cut the dadoes with a router  then ripped the sheet of plywood in half to get the two sides.

    While I was cutting the rabbets along the edge the bit wandered out from the collet of my router and my rabbets ended up being deeper than I needed.  Turns out you should leave a little space between the bit and the collet, say ⅛ if an inch or so. Thank you Internet for that tip. So to fill in the void, I just glued some scrap wood into the rabbet –

    And then rerouted the rabbet –

    Next I glued the back, sides, and shelf together-

    But had to improvise with some of my clamps because I didn’t have enough of the right size. Well actually, I had plenty of 36 inch clamps, I just made the width 37 inches so I couldn’t use them (stupid math).

    So everything was going smoothly until I saw this –

    Oops. Fortunately the piece in the picture that is too long is actually too long so after a trim with the circular saw, another pass with the router, and some chisel work where the router couldn’t reach all was good. 

     

    More clamping and glueing for the top and bottom pieces –

    And now for the final test –

    If you are not familiar with these green cabinets there are holes in the back to mount them to studs or something that will keep them from wandering off. The ¾ inch plywood wasn’t going to be enough so I decided to build a frame that I could lag bolt the cabinets to.

     

    I had a half dozen pine 1x4s that I glued together to make 2x4s –

    But I ended up gluing them together –

    Fortunately it was just a few drips of the squeeze out and they came apart pretty easily. When building the Murphy bed I used pocket screws, but decided I would do mortise and tenons for all of the pieces –

    I have a mortise machine which made that task easy, and each mortise only required a little bit of cleanup. I measured for the mortise and realized it was going to be shorter than I wanted, so I scribbled out the line and then redrew where I wanted it. I somehow still stopped at the scribbled line?

    For the tenons I just used a dado stack on my table saw and used a block plane and a chisel to get them to size.

    The 2x8s are located where the lag bolts for the cabinets will go, and the stile in the center is offset so I can screw some standards in for adjustable shelving. I added a base to accommodate some casters so I can roll it around –

    The bottom attached with some through tenons which I have never done before. I couldn’t use the mortise machine so I did these by hand with a drill and chisel. They’re not as clean as the machines mortise, and I should have used a backer to prevent chipping where the bit came through –

    I added some glue to fill in the void, plus I used construction adhesive to glue the case to the frame so it’s pretty sturdy –

    It’s not exactly square and is off by about 1/8th of an inch in a couple of spots –

    The above picture shows the case sticking out a smidge from the frame. It’s not enough to be mad about, and I think if I built it differently and paid more attention to each piece I could have gotten it spot on.

    Part 2 will have the trim work, plus the door, and hopefully paint.

    Now what to replace my AR-15 with? The one I had used a composite lower from Cavalry Arms which is no longer in business. It had the iron sights and the handle, and I thought about buying one with a rail to mount an optic light a red dot or something. Any recommendations would be appreciated.

     

  • Monday Afternoon Links – Cancel Culture Edition

    Walmart Apologizes For Sweater Showing Santa Claus With Lines Of Cocaine

    Walmart is apologizing for selling sweaters that appear to show Santa with lines of cocaine.

    The sweater says “Let It Snow” and includes three white lines on a table in front of Santa.

    Part of the description said: “The best snow comes straight from South America” and that “Santa really likes to savor the moment when he gets his hands on some quality, grade-A, Colombian snow.”

    Cocaine Santa? CANCELED!


    Richard Jewell Turns a True Story Into a Libertarian Fable

    Pop culture’s recent reconsiderations of ’90s tabloid figures have tended to flatter liberals’ belief in the left-leaning arc of the moral universe. Documentaries like O.J.: Made in America (about Simpson) and Lorena (about the Bobbitt case), as well as dramatizations like I, Tonya (as in Harding) and The People v. O.J. Simpson: American Crime Story (as much about prosecutor Marcia Clark as Simpson himself), have excavated histories of abuse and recontextualized the scandals in light of newer, more nuanced understandings of gender, race, and power. But hardly any of these projects, which implicitly celebrate the social progress of the past two decades, hail from conservative points of view. That makes Clint Eastwood’s Richard Jewell, about the Atlanta security guard falsely accused of bombing the 1996 Summer Olympics, a notable exception, if not necessarily a notable film.

    A movie shows a person harassed and victimized by the government and media being harassed and victimized by the government and media?!? Goddamn you, Clint Eastwood, you crazy Republican Man!

    I don’t advise it, but if you have never subjected yourself to Slate’s Inkoo Kang it might be worth reading it. She’s one of the worst movie and television critics around. She doesn’t review movies and television so much as subject them to a struggle session to see how well they conform to her little red book. And most are found wanting.

    Clint Eastwood? CANCELED!


    Work in Progress Redeems Saturday Night Live‘s Traumatic ‘Pat’ Character

    Work in Progress is a loosely fictionalized version of the foibles of Abby McEnany, a 45-year-old Chicago improv scene stalwart who identifies as a “queer fat dyke” and, in the first episode, struggles with mental health hurdles that include lining up 180 almonds gifted to her by a “fuckin’ bitch” at work. If her life doesn’t improve by the 180th almond, she tells her therapist, she is going to take her own life. One problem, though, is that her therapist has literally died during her session, almost gleefully staring at the ceiling, maw agape, as Abby details her suicidal ideation. “Are you fucking kidding me?” whispers Abby, once distraught, after lightly kicking her shrink’s leg. It creaks, rigor mortis set in.

    It’s a credit to McEnany’s comedic skills that a scene that could have been overly maudlin, even cliché, is actively hilarious, never belittling the depression her character is experiencing but skilled enough to contextualize it with an unpredictable sort of gallows humor. In the pilot episode, which McEnany shot for $3,000 and screened at Sundance before Showtime picked it up for a series, Abby balances a sort of resigned gloom about her future with bursts of often-awkward hope, like when she ends up on a date with Chris (Theo Germaine)—a cute, much-younger trans man working at a lunch spot—after her sister Alison (Karin Anglin) gives him Abby’s phone number.

    Traumatic. Trauma. Like being shelled by the enemy for three days straight. Like watching your friends starved to death in a prison camp. Trauma. Oh, the lives destroyed by sketch comedy!

    Comedy Sketch from  25 years ago? CANCELED!


    Did the car consent? Did anyone even ask it?

    Tawny Kitaen from 1987? CANCELED!

    (Side Note: Kitaen’s first cinematic starring role was in the sword and sandals gigglefest, The Perils of Gwendoline in the Land of the Yik Yak

    Flip through the photos on that imdb link. It looks fantastically bad.

    Seriously, what in the damn hell is going on here?
  • Profiles in Toxic Masculinity VIII – Ernest Hemingway

    Young Hemingway.

    Profiles in Toxic Masculinity, Part 8

    Appearances Can Be Deceiving

    The young fellow to the right doesn’t look like anything special, does he?  A young man probably away from home for the first time, looking a little uncomfortable in his uniform, looking a little apprehensive about what lies ahead.

    I have a pretty good idea what that feels like, having been in much the same situation myself.

    But this young man, while he may well have felt the way I have described when he posed for this photo, ended up being something else entirely.  This is the young Ernest Hemingway, one of America’s greatest novelists, an adventurer, outdoorsman and bon vivant, winner of a Pulitzer Prize and the Nobel Prize in Literature, one of my personal literary heroes and today’s Profile in Toxic Masculinity.

    His Maculate Origin

    Ernest Miller Hemingway was born to Clarence Edmonds and Grace Hall Hemingway in Oak Park, Illinois, on July 21, 1899.  Named for his paternal grandfather, young Ernest attended school in Oak Park, excelling in boxing, track, football and water polo.  He also took a journalism class and worked with the newspaper of his school, the River Forest High School.

    As a youth, Hemingway spent summers with his family in their vacation home near Petoskey, Michigan.  The home was called Windemere, and it was located on Walloon Lake.  This setting was to have great influence on the young man and would become the location for many of his later works, especially the semi-autobiographical Nick Adams stories.  In this setting he grew to love fishing, camping and hunting, which avocations he would pursue throughout his life.

    I’ve been to Walloon Lake.  It’s a rather idyllic setting, even today; a quiet, medium-sized lake surrounded by the deep pine woods of the north.  I would have liked to have spent more time there; it reminded me of the Boundary Waters canoe area, where I spent some time myself as a young man.  On that same trip Mrs. Animal and I went up to Petoskey, where I drank a beer seated on a barstool that Hemingway reportedly occupied regularly as a young man.

    From such humble beginnings came one of America’s greatest writers.

    Hemingway wrote of those early days often, both literally and in his semi-autobiographical Nick Adams stories; in Fathers and Sons he describes an early encounter with an Indian girl named Trudy:

    “Could you say she did first what no one has ever done better and mention plump brown legs, flat belly, hard little breasts, well-holding arms, quick searching tongue, the flat eyes, the good taste of mouth, the uncomfortably, tightly, sweetly, moistly, lovely, tightly, achingly, fully, finally, unendingly, never-endingly, never-to-endingly, suddenly ended, the great bird flown like an owl in the twilight, only it daylight in the woods and hemlock needles stuck against your belly.”

    But Michigan wouldn’t contain the young Hemingway for long.  While the environs of Michigan had ample opportunities for hunting, fishing and screwing Indian girls, all things the young Hemingway enjoyed, there was a larger world out there for the exploring.

    His Adventurous Career

    After graduating high school, the young Hemingway went to work for the Kansas City Star.  That newspaper at the time had a brief style guide:

    • Use short sentences.
    • Use short paragraphs.
    • Use vigorous English.
    • Be positive.

    It was this writing style that would characterize his work for the rest of his life.

    Come 1918, with America’s entry into the Great War, young Ernest attempted to volunteer.  He went in turn to the Army, the Navy and the Marine Corps, but was turned down due to poor eyesight.

    Determined to get into action, in 1918 Hemingway answered an advertisement and ended up as a Red Cross ambulance driver on the Italian front.  He arrived in Paris as the city was under bombardment from German artillery and moved quickly on to Italy, where one of his first tasks was removing body parts of civilian workers after a Milan munitions factory explosion, which incident he later described in Death in the Afternoon.

    On July 8th, Hemingway was hit in the legs by mortar fragments.  Despite his wound he refused immediate evacuation, instead moving to assist injured Italian soldiers to safety, for which action he was given the Italian Silver Medal of Bravery.

    He was eighteen years old at the time.

    Later, Hemingway again used his avatar of Nick Adams to describe his own return home in one of the best outdoor stories ever written.  The Big Two-Hearted River, interestingly, does not take place on the Lower Peninsula’s Two-Hearted River but rather on the You-Pee’s Fox River north of the town of Seney; one of my bucket list items is to fish that same stretch of river.  In that story Hemingway describes Nick’s first night in camp:

    Out through the front of the tent he watched the glow of the fire when the night wind blew on it. It was a quiet night. The swamp was perfectly quiet. Nick stretched under the blanket comfortably. A mosquito hummed close to his ear. Nick sat up and lit a match. The mosquito was on the canvas, over his head. Nick moved the match quickly up to it. The mosquito made a satisfactory hiss in the flame. The match went out. Nick lay down again under the blankets. He turned on his side and shut his eyes. He was sleepy. He felt sleep coming. He curled up under the blanket and went to sleep.”

    Reporter Hemingway.

    After the war Hemingway accepted a position with the Toronto Star Weekly, where he met and started a romance with his roommate’s cousin, Hadley Richardson.  In time, the two married and relocated to Paris, which this time wasn’t under fire from German artillery.  During the Paris years Hemingway hung around with several other well-known literary and artistic figures, such as F. Scott Fitzgerald, Gertrude Stein, Ezra Pound, James Joyce and Pablo Picasso.  It was from this period that arose a famous and yet apocryphal exchange between Fitzgerald and Hemingway in which Fitzgerald observed, “…the very rich, they are different than you and I,” to which Hemingway supposedly replied, “Yes, they have more money.”  His first son Jack (nicknamed “Bumby,” because why not) was born in 1923 and became father to some of Hemingway’s most famous descendants, the actors and models Margot and Mariel Hemingway.

    It was during this time in Europe that Hemingway first visited Spain, where he became interested in bullfighting; he also published his first successful book, Three Stories and Ten Poems, and his first major novel, The Sun Also Rises.

    In 1927 Hemingway published his third work, Men Without Women, divorced his first wife Hadley, married his second wife Pauline Pfeiffer, and moved to Key West, Florida.  He announced that thereafter he would never again live in a big city, which he never did.

    For the next ten years Hemingway split his time between Key West in the winters and Wyoming in the summer.  He described in Wyoming “the most beautiful country I’ve seen in the American West,” and spent a considerable amount of time fishing and hunting deer, elk and bear.

    In this time, he wrote such works as A Farewell to Arms, Death in the Afternoon and The Green Hills of Africa, among others.  With his wife Pauline, he embarked on an extensive African safari in 1933, which yielded much of the background for that latter book.

    In 1937, Hemingway covered the Spanish Civil War for the North American Newspaper Alliance.  After that he sailed his yacht, the Pilar, to Cuba, where he lived for some time in the Hotel Ambos Mundos.  While in Cuba he was inspired (somehow) by a woman named Martha Gellhorn to write his most famous work, For Whom the Bell Tolls, of which book I have a first edition on my bookshelf.  This work, on publication, sold a half-million copies within the first year and resulted in Hemingway’s nomination for a Pulitzer prize.  His success did not translate into his personal life, however; in 1939 he divorced second wife Pauline and married Martha Gellhorn.

    But in 1941, events unfolded that would see Hemingway on some of his greatest adventures.

    His One-Man War

    In Wyoming.

    Hemingway had been fascinated by war and how men behave in war for most of his life.  When the Great War Part Two broke out, he seized the opportunity to see the raw face of war up close and personal.

    Traveling to London as a journalist, he flew several missions cross-Channel with the Royal Air Force.  His wife Martha was forced to seek passage on a munitions ship to join him, which apparently fazed Hemingway very little.  While in London he fell hard for an American correspondent for Time magazine, one Mary Welsh.  In 1945 he would finally divorce Martha Gellhorn and marry Mary Walsh, with whom he would spend the rest of his turbulent life.

    But before that:  In 1944, Hemingway wangled a spot on a ship bound for the Normandy landings.  He was not permitted to go ashore until the second day, although he was within sight of the landings for some time aboard the ship Dorothea Dix.

    When he finally was allowed ashore, Hemingway attached himself to the 22nd Infantry Regiment, commanded by Colonel Charles Lanham.  On the drive to Paris, Hemingway befriended a small band of French partisan fighters in the small village of Rambouillet; he acted, as some of the American infantry claimed later, as their de facto commander until the liberation of Paris.  One American infantryman, Paul Fussel, who would later become a well-known author himself, remarked that “…Hemingway got into considerable trouble playing infantry captain to a group of Resistance people that he gathered because a correspondent is not supposed to lead troops, even if he does it well.”

    Ernest Hemingway was present at the liberation of Paris.  He covered the vicious fighting in the Hürtgenwald where the U.S. First Army clashed with Walter Model’s 275th and 353rd infantry divisions.  He was present at the Battle of the Bulge until a bout of pneumonia forced his evacuation.

    His “leadership” of the French partisans in the summer of 1944 yielded unexpected fruit, as Hemingway was formally charged with a violation of the Geneva Convention for acting as a civilian partisan, but he was acquitted after insisting that he “only provided advice.”

    The professionals in the American Army recognized Hemingway for his courage and his knowledge of military matters, and in 1947 he was awarded the Bronze Star for his courage and willingness to come under fire to cover the movements of the troops.

    After the war, however, Hemingway’s life took a darker turn.

    His Golden Years

    Partying in Cuba.

    After the war Hemingway returned to Cuba.  In 1950 an unconsummated affair with the 19-year old Adriana Ivanovich led to Hemingway’s writing and publishing his novel Across the River and Into the Trees, which was not well received; in a fit of pique, Hemingway produced the novella The Old Man and the Sea, which finally netted him the Pulitzer Prize in 1952.

    In those post-war years, Hemingway’s life continued to deteriorate.  In 1954, during another African safari, he and wife Mary narrowly escaped death in two plane crashes in as many days; these left Hemingway with a severe concussion.  Later that year he suffered burns in a brush fire.  These injuries resulted in the author increasingly turning to alcohol.

    In October 1954 Hemingway received the Nobel Prize in Literature, about which he remarked that “…Writing, at its best, is a lonely life.  Organizations for writers palliate the writer’s loneliness for I doubt they improve his writing.  He grows in public stature as he sheds his loneliness and often his work deteriorates.  For he does his work alone and if he is a good enough writer he must face eternity, or the lack of it, each day.”

    This loneliness may have been one of the demons that plagued him in his final years.  He moved to his home in Ketchum, Idaho, where he compiled his observations of Paris into the novel A Moveable Feast.  He grew increasingly paranoid, thinking that the FBI was monitoring him (they were.)  In 1960 he underwent electroshock therapy in the Mayo Clinic, which did little good, and finally, in April of 1961, Hemingway took his favorite shotgun, a 12-gauge double (possibly a Browning Superposed, but that bit is unclear), from the safe and shot himself.

    In A Farewell to Arms, Hemingway wrote:  The world breaks everyone and afterward many are strong in the broken places. But those that will not break it kills. It kills the very good and the very gentle and the very brave impartially. If you are none of these you can be sure it will kill you too but there will be no special hurry.

    Unfortunately, Hemingway was one of the ones the world killed.

    He was an interesting man; he faced German bullets with great courage and produced many works of literature that are still regarded as some of the best in American literature.  But his own life was a train wreck; he could find happiness neither in marriage nor in his work.  Success in a chosen field, obviously, is not a panacea.  If we learn nothing else from the life of Ernest Hemingway, we can learn that.

    His Bibliography

    On the cover of Life.

    Below are all of Hemingway’s works (some, obviously, were published posthumously.)  I’ve read most of them and enjoyed them all.

    Fiction Books

    • (1926) The Torrents of Spring
    • (1926) The Sun Also Rises
    • (1929) A Farewell to Arms
    • (1937) To Have and Have Not
    • (1940) For Whom the Bell Tolls
    • (1950) Across the River and into the Trees
    • (1952) The Old Man and the Sea
    • (1970) Islands in the Stream
    • (1986) The Garden of Eden
    • (1999) True at First Light

    Nonfiction Books

    • (1932) Death in the Afternoon
    • (1935) Green Hills of Africa
    • (1962) Hemingway, The Wild Years
    • (1964) A Moveable Feast
    • (1967) By-Line: Ernest Hemingway
    • (1970) Ernest Hemingway: Cub Reporter
    • (1985) The Dangerous Summer
    • (1985) Dateline: Toronto
    • (2005) Under Kilimanjaro

    Short Story Collections

    • (1923) Three Stories and Ten Poems
    • (1925) In Our Time
    • (1927) Men Without Women
    • (1933) Winner Take Nothing
    • (1938) The Fifth Column and the First Forty-Nine Stories
    • (1947) The Essential Hemingway
    • (1961) The Snows of Kilimanjaro and Other Stories
    • (1969) The Fifth Column and Four Stories of the Spanish Civil War
    • (1972) The Nick Adams Stories
    • (1979) 88 Poems
    • (1979) Complete Poems
    • (1984) The Short Stories of Ernest Hemingway
    • (1987) The Complete Short Stories of Ernest Hemingway
    • (1995) The Collected Stories (Everyman’s Library)
    • (1999) Hemingway on Writing
    • (2000) Hemingway on Fishing
    • (2003) Hemingway on Hunting
    • (2003) Hemingway on War
    • (2008) Hemingway on Paris
  • Monday Morning Links

    Anxiously looking forward to this…

    I don’t think I can express my displeasure at the CFP committee enough, dropping Ohio State to #2. But I won’t go into it. That’s life being a fan of a team not in the SEC. And who knows, maybe Clemson really aren’t that good and its all their terrible schedule…yeah, right.

    And more of this…

    In more enjoyable news, the Patriots dynasty may be coming to an end.  If it continues, it’ll most likely involve a road playoff game. And speaking of playoffs, the Steelers are still inexplicably in with a few weeks to go.  So are the Cowboys, who deserve to be taken behind the barn and shot. And the Texans, who are a schizophrenic enigma to say the least.  Should be a wild final 3 weeks. Enjoy it.

    A good character…and the worst (aside from Wesley)

    Lots of other stuff happening, but we have some time constraints, so I’m moving on. Puritan and poet John Milton was born on this day.  So were frozen food magnate Clarence Birdseye, actor Broderick Crawford, dimpled actor Kirk Douglas, actress Judi Dench, football players Deacon Jones and Dick Butkus, golfer Tom Kite, TNG and DS9’s Michael Dorn, and ‘rassler Kurt Angle.

    Not a bad list. Not great, but not bad.  Now on to…the links!

    World Anti-doping Administration drops the athletic hammer on Russia. All I can say is: WOW!

    “Uh, that’s half the reason we’re doing this. The other half is to erase the rest of the value.”
    -climate activists

    Protesters are back in force in Hong Kong. And I’m not so sure they should be referring to as “Democrats” but rather “pro-democracy.”  Their ship seems to have passed the Dems’ ship in the night headed in opposite directions.

    Asshole

    The FBI is presuming the Pensacola NAS shooting as a terrorist attack. Yeah, no shit.

    Bonus NY Post link for a quick laugh. LOL, stop standing on the race course, dumbass.

    Play stupid games, win stupid prizes. Never trust a cat. This is basic stuff, people.

    Somehow I don’t think that relationship is gonna last. Christ, what an asshole.

    Not sure I’ve ever played this since we started doing songs on here. Whichever one of you has the spreadsheet (or database) set up listing songs by artist, title, genre, length, artist height, or whatever other category I’m leaving out, can let me know. The rest of you, enjoy it.

    Now go have a great day, friends.