Blog

  • Saturday Morning Return to Normalcy Links

    It’s an odd feeling being alone with SP and Wonder Dog again. And Mom not saying, “Why are you looking at your computer and laughing?” Eerie. SP has gone vegan again, just in time for Christmas. We spent last night watching Jack Ryan shoot at a lot of spics, but mostly at the bad right wing ones. The weather is perfect, I just reached my Medicare eligibility, and my heinie’s clean. So I guess things could be worse.

    Like having a birthday, for instance, a guy who cratered out; a guy who did a lot; Buddy Sorrell who you don’t want to share your latest song with; maybe the most brilliant American bandleader; a shitbag in the news; and the Human Vacuum Cleaner when it comes to grounders.

    So… news.

     

    Fingers crossed that he comes back as a Raven.

     

    Pocahontas has the purple-hair lesbian vote locked up!

     

    “TAKE YOUR WRINKLED OLD PAWS OFF MY CUP OF QUARTERS!”

     

    Lauren Kuby needs to choke on a bag of dicks.

     

    Best. Possible. Timeline.

     

    This wouldn’t have happened if we had net neutrality.

     

    “AGGGGH!!!!! INAPPROPRIATE!!!! RUN!!!!!!!”

     

    Old Guy Music is an anthem of my youth, played live by one of our local guys.

     

  • ZARDOZ FRIDAY EVENING LINKS AND ADVICE

    ZARDOZ SPEAKS TO YOU, HIS CHOSEN ONES. THE BRUTAL EXTERMINATORS HAVE BEEN RECRUITING – AND ZARDOZ WOULD HAVE THE OPINION OF THE CHOSEN ONES, ON A NEW RECRUIT…APPARENTLY ANYONE WHO CROSSES THIS PERSON ENDS UP CLEANSED.

    ZARDOZ BELIEVES THE TWO ROUNDED FACE POUCHES HOLD EXTRA AMMUNITION!

    PLEASE INFORM ZARDOZ OF YOUR COGITATIONS ON THIS IN THE COMMENTS. AS A REWARD FOR YOUR ASSISTANCE….ZARDOZ GIVES THE DUAL GIFT OF LINKS AND ADVICE! GO FORTH AND COMMENT.

    • IF ZARDOZ COULD WEEP…OR WAS SO INCLINED, EVER… THE TRAVAILS OF THIS POOR BRUTAL WOULD BRING A LITHOID TEAR TO ZARDOZ’S CHEEK.
    • ZARDOZ WISHES HIS CIRCUITS WOULD ALLOW FOR LAUGHTER. THIS INSPIRES THE DESIRE FOR MIRTH CIRCUITRY.
    • YOU MAY ASK WHY ZARDOZ WISHES THE FILTH OF BRUTALITY CLEANSED FROM THE EARTH? OBSERVE THIS.

    AND NOW THE CHOSEN ONES RECEIVE ADVICE ON MANNERS. GO FORTH AND ETIQUETTE!

    Q: I host all holiday celebrations. This is because I have the space and the cooking skills, and for the most part, I enjoy spending time with family and friends and preparing a huge, elegant meal for them. With one exception, the crowd seated around the table always seems to enjoy the feast very much.

    However, we have one family member, an older woman, who acts like a spoiled toddler at the table: making faces, gagging and spitting out any food that is not to her taste, then loudly announcing the specific reasons she does not care for the food, and what I should have made instead. She has even gone as far as to remove family favorites from the table, throwing plates full of food in the trash, yelling that she is protecting everybody else from being made ill by that horrible slop!

    What she does like are instant foods and canned goods that are doctored up with sugar, garlic, prepackaged seasoning mixes and sometimes bacon. I cook from scratch and have a lighter hand with the seasonings. I try to make sure there are things on the table that she will eat, but she is the only one who wants that stuff, which also makes her very angry. Otherwise, I do my best to ignore the insulting and childish behavior.

    My immediate family and I have had a terrible year, full of grief, stress, physical pain and illness, with more troubles on the horizon. I am having difficulty dealing with this extended family member’s outspokenness at times that are not so emotionally loaded as holiday celebrations, and have, on a couple occasions, snapped at her. If it were possible to be out of town for the holidays to avoid the unpleasantness, that is exactly what we would do, but we have obligations at home.

    How do I keep my temper in check and create some boundaries while still being a good hostess? Do I somehow find the energy to cook her a big, separate meal in an attempt to keep the peace? Do I do it her way to shut her up, and let everybody else complain? Do I suggest that she go to the Asian restaurant down the road, the only business open over the holidays, if she cannot eat what is on my table? Do I confront her about her behavior? If so, how do I do it in a way that does not make others uncomfortable?

    I need a plan, or I am afraid I will be unable to keep from sharing a few honest opinions of my own, and things will get ugly!

    A: ZARDOZ SAYS, IF GREEN BREAD AND GOBLETS OF WATER ARE GOOD ENOUGH FOR THE ETERNALS, THEY ARE GOOD ENOUGH FOR YOUR WHINY, DRAMATIC AND SENILE RELATIVE.

    “Someone shut Aunt Millie up about the bread!”

    UPON FURTHER COGITATION, PERHAPS SHE SUFFERS FROM IGNORANCE OF HOW MUCH WORK GOES INTO THE PREPARATION OF SUCH FOOD. ZARDOZ CAN HAVE HER EDUCATED FROM FARM…

    “You missed one…”

    TO TABLE…

    Mmmmm…. green!

     

    Is this non-GMO, Gluten-free, Fair Trade green bread?

    SO A GOOD ROUND OF GRAIN, BAKERY AND DELIVERY SLAVERY WILL SHUT GRANNY UP.

    ZARDOZ HAS SPOKEN.

  • Friday Afternoon Links

    Happy Friday afternoon! Thanks to everyone who pinch hit for me in this slot this week. I was in Detroit all week. I think I saw about 10 minutes of blue sky in five days. How does anyone live like that? Ugh. And then my youngest threw up at daycare. Went and picked him up, and the first thing he did when I literally picked him up in the classroom? Put his hands over my mouth. So it looks like I’m going to lose five pounds on the fashion model diet over the next 36 hours.

    Somehow, the defeat of anti-semitic socialists heralds the ascent of Nazism in Britain. I’m confused about how being an international anti-semitic socialist is qualitatively better than the national brand, but I just report what I see.

    Florida Man arrested for selling weight loss supplement that works at GNC.

    Not to worry, those of you who think the Dems are permanently destroying themselves as a party, Mike Huckabee signals that the Republicans will be out-crazied by nobody! (TW: Hotair)

    One of the great victories in the world is having a free oil market that basically has a hard ceiling of $75/bbl.

  • On the Composition of the US Military and Being a World Power

    In the comments on Pie’s article about the Internet (Thursday, 5 Dec Noon Post), I saw some comments in a subthread about the size and composition of the military that sparked some thoughts I decided to share because I find it a fascinating discussion topic for libertarians. I hope it hasn’t already been covered before, but even if it does, I hope I can offer something new on the subject for the Glibertariat.

    I first must ‘confess’ that I subscribe to agreeing (generally) with George Nash’s configuration of where libertarians fall in the political taxonomy in his seminal work “The Conservative Intellectual Movement in America since 1945.” First published in 1976 as a graduate thesis, it’s been reprinted and I’ve read a more recent, updated edition. Some of you may disagree and that’s fair enough, but in any serious consideration of the size and scope of the military, undergirding has to be some coherent theory of valid political action of the government in the area of foreign affairs, trade, and immigration, all of which impact what specie of military you think is valid to have. As a concrete example, do you think the US military should protect US commercial shipping the world over? The Founding Fathers themselves certainly did, and since I consider myself a ‘constitutional libertarian,’ I note that even President ‘Mr. Yeoman Farmer’ Jefferson was willing to “send in the Marines!” to “the Shores of Tripoli” to stop the Barbary pirates from playing around with US shipping. It was an issue that Jefferson explicitly ran on against John Adams – the payment of US tribute of to the “petty tyrant of Algiers.” This dated to the Founding of the republic, by the way, and so it can’t be claimed this didn’t inform the creation of the Constitution itself. From the wiki:

    The United States had signed treaties with all of the Barbary states after its independence was recognized between 1786-1794 to pay tribute in exchange for leaving American merchantmen alone, and by 1797, the United States had paid out $1.25 million or a fifth of the government’s annual budget then in tribute.[12] These demands for tribute had imposed a heavy financial drain and by 1799 the U.S. was in arrears of $140,000 to Algiers and some $150,000 to Tripoli.[13] Many Americans resented these payments, arguing that the money would be better spent on a navy that would protect American ships from the attacks of the Barbary pirates, and in the 1800 Presidential Election, Thomas Jefferson won against incumbent second President John Adams, in part by noting that the United States was “subjected to the spoliations of foreign cruisers” and was humiliated by paying “an enormous tribute to the petty tyrant of Algiers”.[14]

    Washington himself as the very first President asked Congress in 1794 – at the urging of the people – to appropriate money for a Navy to deal with the problem as the US tried to grow its economy by participating in international commerce.

    Which brings us back again to a serious question about the size and scope of the military and what capabilities should the US military have. Should the US have some capability to do Non-Combatant Evacuation Operations (NEOs, in military acronymese) from places like US Embassies around the globe? If so, what does that imply about the capability required to operate in the environments where embassies are found: from mountains, to jungles, to deserts, to large cities, to coastlines, in all weather conditions, in extremis, day or night? What about places from which one must be able to launch those operations if you don’t have bases around the world? Should this capability be expanded enough to cover the ability to pull out a large US expat population living abroad in a country that suddenly turns shitty in a short time? Or is your foreign policy one that includes the ability to tell the American people: “Meh. Tough shit. Shouldn’t live in those kinds of places.” Or does your foreign policy include only an economic response to such provocations? How about if someone shoots down/blows up a US commercial passenger jet in foreign airspace, for example, like the one over Locherbie, Scotland. As an interesting footnote, a high school classmate and friend of mine, Rob “Shaggy” Schlageter (with a pair of burgundy corduroys and green shirt, he would was a dead ringer for Sccoby’s partner!) was killed aboard that plane.

    Which brings us to a much more interesting question, I think, about the size and scope of the US military and its capability. Most of us have grown up for most, if not all, of our lives with the US as an (or THE) unquestioned military superpower. It isn’t just the nukes, either. We can put a missile in your bedroom window or men with guns over your bed while you sleep anywhere in the world on relatively short notice. It is a truly awesome capability and I give you my solemn vow it is true as someone who has seen and been a part of what we can do at the very, very pointy tip of that spear. But it has always been an article of faith for me that the most powerful military in the world should be commanded, led by, and serve the most moral/ethical people. And I can’t envision any sane theory of morals or ethics in which it is any other way. That is to say, I would like to hear Sam Harris, or Zombie Hitchens, or any moral relativist defend the notion that it makes no difference whether the US had the stronger military or Imperial Japan did. Or Nazi Germany. Now if this all seems a bit farfetched or Ivory Tower, let me offer up the thought experiment that really has formed the basis for this entire piece:

    Close your eyes and try imagine that the United States is NOT the world’s pre-eminent military. Imagine instead that Jane’s and all of the other publications that track such things consider the U.S. to be the 6th strongest/most capable military in the world. Once you have really got that in your head, the first thing that pops into my mind is ‘who are numbers 1 through 5?’ And if you can’t imagine five countries above you that make your blood run cold, I hope you will take my word and know it comes from a place of love when I say that you haven’t traveled enough to have an informed opinion on the debate about the size and scope of the U.S. military. Because I can sure imagine 5 countries I wouldn’t want to see above us on that list; and I can also imagine what it might mean if the list ever looked like that in some dystopian future, and what that would mean for human suffering the world over, much less right in our own backyards.

    I am staunchly against military adventurism the world over because it costs lives and for over two decades a good chunk of those were my friends. Or at least it sure does seem like it because I have and know of a fair number of dead guys and gals, including some by their own hand. I have also seen the horrors of what people are capable of doing to each other the world over and I know that the US military acts as some kind of brake on those horrors, even if it’s just in an ancillary way by protecting sea lanes of commerce, for example. Piracy still claims a measurable chunk of the world’s commerce every year. I believe I’ve read that rust destroys 10% of the world’s (steel) infrastructure every year in a book called, boringly, “Rust.” It’s the bane of any salt-water Navy. For perspective, in the mid-1980’s Ronald Reagan’s Secretary of the Navy James Webb – yes, later Senator Webb (D. Va) and Dem. Presidential-candidate – quit in protest over the refusal of Congress to fund a 600-ship Navy. We are currently at 430 ships.

    I want to add one final coda to this piece and that is to state that even in the principle of self-defense you can’t escape the costs necessary to engage in it. Thus, I believe any discussion about the Nation’s military should also include a discussion of how much GDP (as a percentage) one is willing to spend on it. The budget need not be anywhere near as complicated as it is if we simply allocated as a percentage of prior year’s GDP. It’s how NATO allocates its member funding requirements. Trump has made the point recently that we spend “4.2% GDP in real numbers” for our military. Google claims it is 3.145%. Whatever the number is, we could likely agree that some % is sufficient for our needs, set it there as a matter of statute or even Amendment,  and allow for additional spending only in the event of a Congressional Declaration of War or contingency for 60 days or less (tie the Amendment to the War Powers Act for all I care). I will also set aside for the moment the notion that these kinds of discussions

    The point is that if there is a justification for having a military then we, as a Nation, should have a conception of what that is in both a philosophical and a practical sense, which informs its missions and capabilities, as well as its costs. Clausewitz said famously: “We see, therefore, that War is not merely a political act, but also a real political instrument, a continuation of political commerce, a carrying out of the same by other means. War is the continuation of politics by other means.” While one can argue about definitions enough to perhaps find some kinds of violence between people that doesn’t quite fit the definitions, for my purposes and those of this article it suffices to describe the relationship between a military and the political institutions of a modern nation-state. The Founding Fathers found out quite early on that the world would not simply let us ply our trade and mind our own isolationist business. The realities of modern shipping and aviation, along with the number of Americans living abroad, suggest that we must have some kind of military with some kind and level of capability, which implies training, equipment, etc. (It also implies a certain level of economy to produce material in peacetime sufficient to support those military capabilities, a place for them to be stationed, places to train, etc.)

    Could it and should it cost less? Absolutely. I could tell stories to make you blush from my friends at the Pentagon in procurement. My own experiences in the military validate the notion of September splurging in order to maintain at least last year’s funding, as just one example. But I think sweeping statements about wiping out entire branches of the military need to be considered in light of both the needs and the capabilities of a military and what that really means. In my opinion, too many libertarians (at least that I’ve seen) simply wave this all away or argue for absolutes with nary a word turned toward what I see as essential considerations that any serious person would at least mention in broad discussion of these subjects.

    Wanting to end the military adventurism abroad is a laudable goal, towards which we should all be working, but we undermine its cause with simplistic screeds. The people who wrote the Constitution were rightfully leery about standing armies, having just expelled one. They also conceived of – and led – a nation of independent-minded citizens who could and would defend themselves by force of arms on their own account and believed, as a people of commerce, that they would rather pay for a military than pay tributes to warlords attacking and kidnapping US citizens abroad.

    I’ll let the Glibertariat hash out the details and point out the flaws in my thinking in the comments.

    Ozy

  • ¡El viernes trece enlaces mexicanos!

    ¡Buenos dias Gliberinos!  Feliz viernes trece, y buenos suertes con los gatos negros…..muwahahahaha…

     

    The Chilean C-130 plane bound for Antarctica has been located.  Coincidentally, there are no communist dissidents among the survivors.

    What?

    In better news, Cuba had a disappointing year in tourism.   Apparently, few people want to visit a socialist hellhole.

    The Pentagon is investigating a contract award for parts of “the wall” built by a contractor openly endorsed by the president. I’m sure its its as squeaky clean as Halliburton.

    In other news, Mexicans don’t like artwork depicting revolutionary heroes as gay.

    A painting showing Mexican Revolution hero Emiliano Zapata nude and in an effeminate pose has drawn the ire of some of Zapata’s descendants and led about 100 farmers to block the entrance to the building where it was on display Tuesday.

    The painting depicts a nude Zapata wearing high heels and a pink, broad-brimmed hat, straddling a horse.

    Zapata’s grandson said Monday the painting should be removed or descendants would sue.

    “We are not going to allow this,” said Jorge Zapata Gonzalez. “For us as relatives, this denigrates the figure of our general (Zapata), depicting him as gay.”

    Determine this one on your own.

    Argentina follows their timeless tradition of kinda sorta providing asylum for assholes.

     

    Sloopy requested today’s  music selection start with the letter M.  I did not ask why.  I did not think this was an unreasonable request, nor did I clear it with him beforehand.  So today you get the (((Reggae guy))), Matisyahu.

     

  • A Ranking of Ryes, Round 1

    Welcome to another edition of “Not Adahn Gets Drunk at the Keyboard.”  This will be the first in a series of rye reviews, primarily because I like the spirit and my LLS has and entire wall dedicated to this once side-eyed drink.  Rye whiskey has always been probably the best value in the brown liquor market, with prices being cheap and the quality almost never dropping below “drinkable.”  Now with it becoming popular, the magic of the market has resulted in ryes selling for Scotch prices (looking at you, Whistle Pig) which is something I just have a psychological block against paying.   So I’m not going to.  Fortunately, I can fill out a number of these while spending less than $40 a bottle.  I’m limiting myself to four at a time due to palate fatigue.  As is typical for my tasting protocol, I’ve got distilled water to open up the high-proof offerings, as well as taste modifiers of bread, butter, cheese, chocolate and salted almonds.

    Tonight’s Contenders. Also, notice that although the Pixel has excellent resolution, it is absolute ass at color reproduction.

    Old Overholt Straight Rye Whiskey– Nose is sweet, spicy, a bit cardboardy.  It anesthetizes fairly quickly, so I’ll take it away from my nose for a bit before drinking.  Taste is mild, woody, gentle, dangerously drinkable.  And this was sub-$20.  God bless rye whiskey!

    Jim Beam Rye – I’m rather looking forward to this one.  I was very fond of the old yellow labelled version, as it was the first whiskey that I thought tasted good at body temperature poured out of a steel flask at a football game.  I haven’t tried this new green labelled “pre-prohibition style” whatever that’s supposed to mean.  The nose is much drier than the earlier one.  You can smell the barrels, but other than that, it fairly clean.  Oh that’s nice.  It’s sharper, very much in the Beam idiom of sweet carmel and a big hit of char extracts.  Now that I think about it, those are probably carcinogenic AF.  I need to dig out some carbotrap tubes and run this on the GC-MS at work to see exactly how bad this is for you.  I still like it.  I will admit that there may be some emotional attachment to the brand going on, as it played a notable role in my college years.  My fraternity brothers have long been excellent bullshitters, with stories being so good that they became believed and passed down as fact to the next class.  One of these stories was of “Brother Beam.”  Proof that Jim Beam was a member of our house was demonstrated by the color of the bottle labels (black, white, yellow) and the fact that if you were lying on the floor paralyzed by alcohol and saw a Jim Beam bottle lying near you, the ribbon and wax seal logo kinda sorta looked like our badge.  I typically dilute anything over 80 proof, though I don’t think this needs it.  I’ll do so anyway for consistency’s sake.  A few drops does increase the spice to sweet ratio, and oddly enough makes it a little astringent.  I don’t think I like it any better that way. A little fat on the tongue (from a really good cheddar in this case) also tones down the sweetness.

    Bulleit Rye – The Elon Musk of the spirit world, this rye thinks it’s better than everyone else having a cork rather than a screw cap.  Well lah-dee-dah Mr. Fancy-pants.  I keed.  I’ve also never had this one, though I do like their “Bourbon.”  I may have poured the two previous glasses a little too full, there are numb regions on my tongue I’ll need to taste around.  OK, I don’t know if it’s me or it, but this thing has very little smell.  It’s the whiskey, because it sure has a flavor.  And that flavor is impressive.  I”m not quite certain where to begin since it caught me completely by surprise.  Let’s have another taste and I’ll try to pay closer attention.  Ok, I’m not even sure this is rye.  There are tremendous herbal flavors, green fruits, if it wasn’t for the primal flavor you could believe this was a white wine.  But you know, still tasting like whiskey.  Yeah, I’m tempted to disqualify this from the rankings for being out of genre, but holy hell this is an impressive spirit.  How strong is this… 90 proof?  Ok, a few mLs of water it is.  Very interesting – adding water increased the nose.  I’m getting… chocolate? Yeah, chocolate, and burnt oil, concord grapes and citrus peel.  This smells really good.  The flavor unfortunately, instead of being transformed the way most whiskeys are, was merely diluted.  Still, if you wanted to spend time in a bar just smelling your drink, get this and dribble a little water into it.  Can Mormons do that?  I’m pretty sure Baptists can’t since their rules are only elaborations of the first rule which is to Have No Fun that is not The Lord.  Yeah, I should have a bottle of this in the house at all times.

    Rittenhouse Rye Bottled-In-Bond – I adore old cookbooks.  I have in my possession a 1940 booklet of an advertisement purporting to be a reference manual put out by the National Distillers Products Corporation which goes into great length about how “Bottled-in-bond” is the assurance of the highest quality American whiskey.  In fact, on page 6 is notes that “Such whiskey meets all the standards for medicinal whiskey as set forth in the United Stated Pharmacopoeia.”  Relevant to this particular post, it also calls Old Overholt the “greatest of all Pennsylvania ryes.”  It further notes that “The Scotch always omit the ‘e’ used in the American spelling of ‘whiskey’.”  Obviously, such a handbook is to be taken quite seriously, so I look forward to this rye which is produced under regulations which are “the most stringent in the world.”  If you’ve paid attention to the pictures, you noticed that this one was darker in color, which makes sense as it was diluted less than the others prior to bottling (oh, for those of you without access to The Host’s Handbook, bottled-in-bond whiskey is always 100 proof).  Before I smell this one, I’ll need to wash the 80-year-old-book smell from many hands.  Having done so, the aroma of this whiskey is more on the bass side of bourbon, with blackberries mixed in with caramel and maple.  The first sip, neat:  yummy.  Compact, warming, a little sharp, a little… dare I say medicinal?  With cheese:  rounder, less distinctive. Now, taking it to ~80 proof with distilled water:  It’s like an entire circus of charred-cask clowns has gone berserk in my mouth.  Holy fuck, there’s “opening up” and then there’s “a porcupine on acid looking at a Klein bottle made of Mobius strips.”  The transformation is total and absolute.  With respect to the National Distillers Products Corporation, this Pennsylvania rye kicks the everloving shit out of Old Overholt.  It is with a heavy heart that I must concede that the U.S. Government has had a hand in producing something great here.  I would turn in my Libertarian card, but I never got one.

    Same order as above. Not much difference, but then again Rye isn’t all about being a special snowflake.

    I titled this a ranking, so I guess I have to pick a winner:

    Honorable Mention:  Bulleit Rye – This is fantastic stuff, but too atypical to continue on to to the next round.  I’m still drinking the fuck out of it.

    Best Value Whiskey:  Old Overholt – this is a legitimately good whiskey, and it’s cheaper than Jack.

    Winner of Round 1:  Rittenhouse Rye Bottled-In-Bond.  This shakes my confidence in FedGov turning everything it touches into crap.  That’s how good this is.

     

  • Thursday Afternoon SugarLinks – Mostly Pictures Edition

    California’s new employment law has boomeranged and is starting to crush freelancers

    Jeremiah LaBrash, 36, works as a tech programmer for a telecom by day and as a freelance cartoonist for media companies on his time off. Sometimes he brings in half of his annual income from his freelance work.

    That changed when Assembly Bill 5 passed in California and Gov. Gavin Newsom signed it into law on Sept. 18. The law requires most companies to reclassify contract, freelance and contingent workers — the backbone of the gig economy —as full-time employees eligible for benefits, a guaranteed $12–$13 state minimum wage and protections under the state’s employment law.

    LaBrash, based in Los Angeles, suddenly found potential projects drying up when he submitted onboarding paperwork to potential clients and they discovered he lived in California.

    “I’ve had them hire me and then come back and say they’re no longer interested,” says LaBrash. “All of a sudden, someone I’ve never talked to says, ‘We’ve decided not to move forward.’ I’ve never had that happen before this year.”

    LaBrash can’t be certain the reason is AB 5, though he believes it is. He has seen a 40% decline in his freelance income since the law passed in September. “My savings are stagnant,” says LaBrash. “I really can’t look into buying a house. The housing market here is hard already.”

    Even if employers hire him for freelance work, he is limited to 35 annual submissions per client before they have to put him on payroll, he notes. It’s a limit under the law. That’s not a large amount for regular contributors to media companies. “You’re going to hit your quota and they won’t want to hire you,” he says.

    Law created to destroy the gig economy is destroying the gig economy. Let’s all act surprised!

    Intended Consequences Are Intended


    Totally stable and normal Kayne West.


    Quickly deleted, but hilarious none the less. She got to pretend to care about dead Jews and take a swipe at Trump. Too bad pesky reality had to intrude.


    “Thank you for doing my laundry,” confused old man tells uncomfortable voter.

    “Now I’m not really sure we were lovers
    “Or if it was just some kind of car crash”

  • Relegation/Promotion in Baseball

    Revolution

    In 1988, in his last Abstract, Bill James wrote an essay called “Revolution”.  I would link to it, but our copyright laws mean that a 31 year old essay is not yet in the public domain, nor never will be.  In it, James suggested freeing the minor leagues from their farm status and having them compete as independent leagues.  Some would accept their levels as minor leagues, some would try to build up and from a 3rd major league, some would fold.  It would allow more teams to exist as every town could have a team and compete at their proper level, with proper levels of pay (none to very little).   There was a lot of good stuff in the article but when I was reading it, in April 1988, I was struck by what he left out…relegation and promotion.  There was no way for a team not in the majors to get there, other than expansion.  It was the obvious flaw in the article.  It is one I have been thinking about ever since, and despite tinkering around, my solution keeps coming back to the same one I thought of 31 years ago.

    Ignoring the relegation/promotion question for now, why would we want free minor leagues?  Have you been to a minor league game?  The decision making is less than spectacular, but it is because the managers literally aren’t playing to win.  They are rewarded for developing players, not winning games.  If that means playing Joey Votto in left field instead of 1B, because the Reds don’t have an opening at first, then so be it (this is not a hypothetical.  And yes, he was a far worse outfielder than you can possibly imagine).   Your AAA team has made the playoffs?  Great, we will call your best player up to the majors so he can pinch hit once a week in September.

    There is no real rooting for your home team.  At best, if you are a fan of their affiliated major league team, you get to see players that you will be cheering for later one.  As a Reds fan and Cardinals hater, when Louisville was a Cards franchise, I had trouble cheering for my local team.  Fortunately, they switched to the Reds (with a brief detour thru Milwaukee).  If the teams were independent, they would be playing to win.  And attendance would go up, not down, in the post season.

    I get up, I get down

    For those not fans of European sports, what is relegation and promotion?  I will use English soccer as my example, as it is the best known to American, but I am sure Pie can fill us in on how it works differently in Romania.   At the end of the season, the worst teams from one league are relegated down to the next lowest league, and the best teams from that league come up.  For example, the bottom 3 (18th thru 20th) in the English Premier League are relegated to the Championship League, and the top 3 (actually top 2, plus a playoff winner of teams 3-6) are promoted from the Championship to the Premier League.  Below the Championship is League 1 and League 2.  Below them is the National Conference, and then it starts getting interesting.  At that point, instead of a straight 1 to 1 correspondence, we get branching, as the leagues form “The Pyramid”.  Below the Conference is Conference North and South.  Below them are 3 leagues, Northern, Southern, and Isthmian.  And below them are more and more branches.  At the lowest levels you get county leagues.  Its just neighborhood teams playing against each other, with better ones moving up and playing against the other better teams.  Think of it as like A-league vs B-league softball.

    If you really care, here is a nice image:

    https://englishsoccerguide.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/04/english_league_pyramid.gif

    Centerfield

    Now that we are all on board, what would the American system look like.  First, we have to accept that 1969-1976 had the correct setup for MLB.  Each league had 12 teams, divided into 6 eastern and 6 western teams, with 18 games played in division and 12 played out of division with no interleague play.

    Perfection!  Then it all got screwed up by letting Toronto in the AL.

    While we can’t go back, we can replicate that.  We will expand the majors by 18 teams, and form two levels of 24 teams.  The Major Leagues D1 will have 4 6-team divisions:  NL-East, NL-West, AL-East, AL-West playing the schedule they did in the 70s.  Major League D2 will also have 4 6-team divisions, but will save on travel costs.  There will be two leagues, the Eastern League and the Western League, each with a National and American division.  They will play the same 18-12 breakdown, but wont cross over to the other half of the country.

    Sixth place in each D1 division will be relegated to the appropriate division in D2.  The winners of divisions in D2 will move up.  Below is my initial layout.  I chose the 18 teams from current minor league baseball (17 of the 18 are in AAA) based on 2019 attendance and not being located within the DMA of a major league team.  The 6 MLB teams in D2 were based on geography and 2019 records.  For assigning minor league teams to National or American, I mostly went with their historical affiliations with some adjustments for balance.  Its just an example.  The west starts at Louisiana, Arkansas, Missouri, Illinois, and the UP.  And whatever that is in Canada – Albertoba or something.

    Here is your 2020 breakdown:

     

    NL-East NL-West AL-East AL-West
    Atlanta St Louis NY Yankees Minnesota
    Washington Milwaukee Tampa Bay Houston
    NY Mets Chi Cubs Boston Oakland
    Philadelphia LA Dodgers Cleveland Texas
    Cincinnati Arizona Toronto Chicago WS
    Pittsburgh San Fran Baltimore LA Angels
    EL-National WL-National EL-American WL-American
    Miami Colorado Detroit Kansas City
    Louisville San Diego Toledo Seattle
    Indianapolis Iowa Columbus Round Rock
    Durham Sacramento Charlotte Las Vegas
    Buffalo Paso Rochester Salt Lake City
    Scranton Albany Nashville Oklahoma City

     

     

    American Pyramid

    That is a start of the system, we could keep the rest of the minors around as farm teams, instead of each MLB team having about 6, each of the 48 would have 3.  But once we go down this path, this won’t last.  There will be more expansion off the bottom of this, We will start the American Baseball Pyramid.  I don’t know exactly how it would develop, but I think it would start with 4 regional leagues, Northeast, Southeast, Central, and West Coast.  Maybe 5, with a Midwest league also, Yeah, probably so.  I don’t know how they would decide the 4 to promote, so maybe it would be 4.  But whatever, you get the idea.  And below that would be 8 or so leagues, and below that state level leagues.  Below that city level leagues, where neighborhoods play against neighborhoods – probably much shorter seasons with a game or two thru the week and then weekend games on Friday, Saturday, Sunday.

    This would give a place for that guy you played little league with, who was a AAA all-star and then spent 2 weeks in the Majors with an ERA over 10, a place to continue to play (this is also not a hypothetical).  Now, there are two types of guys in the minors, young kids who have potential to be major leagues, and guys kept around because they help the young guys learn and may be a coach someday.  As soon as you lose that prospect status, you are generally out the door.  They don’t want a 32 year old at A ball.  But with an independent system, if that 32 year old can help the A league team win and get promoted, he is worth having around.  And they will still develop the 19 year old, so they can sell him to a Major League team and rake in the profits.

     

    Money

    So why hasn’t this already happened?  It might have in the 19th century.  It would have prevented all the failed competing major league attempts, like the Players League and the Federal League and the American League.  The PCL was very close to a 3rd major league and might have become one if the Dodgers and Giants hadn’t moved west.  There were a few players who refused Major League contracts to stay in the PCL.

    Now it won’t happen for the obvious reason:  $$$.  I team dropping to MLB-D2, or even lower, would lose out on lots of money.  With the cost of a team, owners can put up with being bad, they can’t put up with being in a lower league.  And the second monetary reason is leverage.  Although expansion has put a stop to most of it, teams can get shiny new stadiums out of cities by threatening to leave.  Get Las Vegas a D2 team and the threat goes away.  Vegas isn’t going to try to become the new home of the Twins, they can just spend money on players and get promoted.

    The system seems great to libertarians, the best 24 franchises will rise to the top and bad owners will watch their teams fall.  Good fan bases will support their team, providing the money for teams to rise to their appropriate level and stay there.  Bad fan bases will get what they deserve.  And we can also see why crony capitalist wouldn’t like it.

    So yet again, I end an article with a section on why my awesome idea isn’t feasible.

  • Thursday Morning Links

    More of this, please.

    The end of the week is all but upon us.  That’s when I usually get excited, but I can’t get pumped up for the Army-Navy game. I already miss college football. But the bowl games are a mere week and change away, so I’ll manage somehow. Like the UCL final 16 being set. I look forward to the draw Monday morning. And I bet Liverpool end up against a Spanish side from Madrid. You heard it here first.

    FATALITY!

    The US got off to a rocky start at the Presidents Cup matches in Melbourne.  And Scott Boras got a lot wealthier as Anthony Rendon signed with Anaheim. This was hilarious. (Illinois beat Michigan in the game as well.) And your NHL winners were Washington, Montreal , and Colorado.

    Legend

    First Chief Justice of the Supreme Court John Jay was born this day. So were savior to train-hopping hobos Matthias Hohner, painter Edvard Munch, actor Edward G Robinson, “Old Blue Eyes” Frank Sinatra, flying ace Arthur Hawkins, pet-neutering activist Bob Barker, NY mayor Ed Koch, guitarist Dickey Betts, punk pioneer Rob Tyner, drummer Clive Bunker, racing legend Emerson Fittipaldi, singer/drummer Sheila E, MMA legend Royce Gracie, and triplet Playboy models Nicole, Erica and Jaclyn Dahm.

    That was a music-heavy list…of heavyweights, in my opinion.  Anyway, on to…the links!

    I guess this is why Jim Comey’s twitter account was silent yesterday. But don’t worry, he’ll be back to his blathering as soon as someone not under oath says he wasn’t completely incompetent in his duties.

    Biden’s campaign continues to be run about as well as his son’s life. Maybe a little cocaine would pep it up. And a trip to a strip club or two.

    “And that’s my crack den.”

    Speaking that son, he has until Friday to give his income information for the last five years to a judge in his child support case. I assume since its family court, the records will be sealed.  And that means they won’t get leaked to the public for a couple days.

    Chicago Police Department continues its unblemished track record of being a shitshow. Just read for yourself. They can’t decide how to even promote people without causing grief.

    Donald Trump: Diplomat. I find it hilarious that we have somebody in office causing gasps of the professional political class by…talking like a normal person would in a similar interaction. And I suspect that’s part of why he’s so despised by that “class” of people and those who believe we have “top men” who should run the world.

    Now that’s what I call a chilly reception.

    Meanwhile, the British version of Trump keeps doing what he does, and the media goes bonkers. Too bad for Labour their party is in complete disarray and their officials spout anti-semitic garbage all the time. Otherwise they could defeat this buffoonish guy with fantastic hair.

    If at first you don’t succeed, try, try again. Makes me happy for our system of government and elections where we hold a vote and everybody grudgingly accepts the results and moves on with their lives.  Well, not anymore, but at least we only have to get flooded with election propaganda on a set schedule.

    Tomorrow might be tough to find a song for. Until I hit that wall, go ahead and enjoy this gem.

    Now get out there and make it a great day, friends!

  • Wednesday Afternoon SPecifically Random Links

    It’s going to be a brief narrative, because I’m desperately attempting to catch up on everything that fell by the wayside for the last six months. I’m also now trying to get into the holiday spirit, or at least out of major depression, so I am actually going to put up some Christmas lights today. Not going to go as far as a tree, but I have my grandmother’s little ceramic tree, and that will go in my office. As soon as I find it in whatever box in which it resides, in whatever still-not-unpacked stack of boxes and bins, in whatever still-not-decorated room that box might be in. Or maybe it’s in the garage.

    Anyway, you don’t care about the mundane details of my existence. You just come here for links you can ignore. So, here we go!

     

    This is hilarious and a public art project all at the same time.

    This should surprise exactly nobody.

    This makes many good points. Also, has anyone else noticed that nearly every TV ad now sports a girl who looks earnestly like Greta? Or at least the ads we see during football, which is the only TV we ever see.

    This is something that WebDom and I talk about ALL.THE.TIME. Always buy the domain name(s) before you do ANYTHING else with an idea or business.

    This is something about which I don’t think he will have to worry.

    This just pisses me off.

    This was amusing, since I’m a former social media manager for a brand. (A week old thread, but too bad!)

    This proves that the Trumps are antisemites!

     

    Have a great rest of the day, kids! If you live in my neighborhood, you can come over and help me untangle the lights. There will be cocktails.