¡Martes por la tarde enlaces mexicanos!

¡Buenos tardes Gliberinos!

Lots of fun stuff happening today between impeachment, porn staches, and such, but I’m going to do what I always do and give you news from the south.

The house took a break from staging a coup correcting the election impeachment circus kabuki theater inquiry and passed something resembling the USMCA.  I particularly liked how Pelosi took credit for a negotiated agreement between foreign countries, because that’s in the job description for a congrexperson.

¡Pongamos a estos comunistas en hielo!

A Chilean C-130 disappeared on the way to Antarctica.  What do you want, a Bolivia joke, Mad Dog Murdock, Aliens? …nah. There is no indication the plane was filled with Communist dissidents.

Brazilian culture official says rock music leads to abortions.

Shootout near Mexico’s presidential residence.  Good thing Mexico outlawed guns amirite?

A fun piece about a Citgo executives detained in Venezuela.  Their first mistake, clearly was working in Venezuela.

The six men were arrested just before Thanksgiving in 2017. They had been called for a last-minute meeting in Venezuela. Once in the conference room at the PDVSA headquarters in Caracas, armed, masked security agents arrested the men.

The families were perplexed when they learned about the arrest after Venezuela’s chief prosecutor announced it during a press conference.

Since their arrest, the men had been held in the basement of Venezuela’s military counterintelligence agency under conditions that relatives have described as human rights violations. At one point, 60 people shared a space meant for 22, lights were kept on 24 hours a day and they were allowed outdoors for 20 minutes every six to eight weeks.

I think today is a Breaking Benjamin kind of day. I can’t remember if I linked this one before, I dunno.

Comments

507 responses to “¡Martes por la tarde enlaces mexicanos!”

  1. Tres Cool

    Hola.

    1. Mad Scientist

      Chola!

      1. “Tulsi Gabbard Apologist”

        Pistola

        1. Chipwooder

          Motorola

          1. A Leap at the Wheel

            Motorboata

        2. bacon-magic

          No comprende esse.

  2. The Late P Brooks

    Pigspeak

    Houston Police Chief Art Acevedo criticized Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell and other Republican lawmakers for not reauthorizing the Violence Against Women Act and taking action against gun violence, asking them in emotional remarks to choose between the nation’s foremost gun lobby and “the children that are getting gunned down in this country every single day.”
    Acevedo made his remarks to reporters Monday as the Houston Police Department prepared to escort the body of Sgt. Chris Brewster, an officer who died in the line of duty, to a funeral home. The 32-year-old was shot and killed while responding to a call with a team on Saturday.
    “I don’t want to hear about how much they support law enforcement,” Acevedo said. “I don’t want to hear about how much they care about lives and the sanctity of lives yet, we all know in law enforcement that one of the biggest reasons that the Senate and Mitch McConnell and (Texas Sens.) John Cornyn and Ted Cruz and others are not getting into a room and having a conference committee with the House and getting the Violence Against Women’s Act (passed) is because the NRA doesn’t like the fact that we want to take firearms out of the hands of boyfriends that abuse their girlfriends. And who killed our sergeant? A boyfriend abusing his girlfriend. So you’re either here for women and children and our daughters and our sisters and our aunts, or you’re here for the (National Rifle Association).”

    He continued: “So I don’t want to see their little smug faces talking about how much they care about law enforcement when I’m burying a sergeant because they don’t want to piss off the NRA. Make up your minds, whose side are you on? Gun manufacturers, the gun lobby, or the children that are getting gunned down in this country every single day.”

    STFU, cunt.

    1. Methinks that sending a bunch of roided up armed goons to sort out a domestic dispute is akin to dumping gasoline on a campfire.

    2. Glitterstorm

      I don’t understand why violence is more severe against certain groups. Is it extra violence?

      1. Because policing is the most dangerous* job ever and these heroes** selflessly*** protect**** us every day without expecting***** so much as a word of thanks.

        * this
        ** is
        *** bullshit
        **** of
        ***** course

        1. Glitterstorm

          I imagine being a window washer would be way more lethal.

          1. The classic example is firefighting, which is more dangerous in terms both of rate of injury and deaths on the job, and which you hear virtually nothing about. But then again you don’t usually hear about firefighters complaining that people are allowed to buy propane because they might start a fire and a firefighter may be injured as a result.

          2. Glitterstorm

            That’s an excellent analogy.

          3. Bobarian LMD

            Garbage man.

            Most dangerous civil service job is Garbage Man.

          4. mexican sharpshooter

            On a personal level, they are also the most beneficial.

          5. The Last American Hero

            That explains the thin brown line flags I see on cars around town.

          6. blackjack

            I can tell you first hand that repairing the trucks is more dangerous than driving them. One driver got shot at during a road rage incident, however.

        2. mexican sharpshooter

          I for one, believe we should raise awareness for the real unsung heroes in the most dangerous profession….lumberjacks.

          1. mexican sharpshooter

            British. Doesn’t count.

          2. Chafed

            How about this?

            Unsung

          3. Enough About Palin

            Odd that cops / law-enforcement isn’t on the list

          4. pistoffnick

            I like to press wild flowers!

          5. Mad Scientist

            I Wednesdays I go shopping, and have buttered scones for tea.

          6. Yusef drives a Kia

            Thursday I go Waltzing to the Zoo,

    3. Kurt Loder asked me what I say to a dead cop’s wife
      Cops kill my people everyday, that’s life

        1. Sir Digby is Biden’s Nightmare

          You do that enough, and you won’t be able to feed the that back-yard lizard anymore.

    4. Tonio

      Always remember – Chiefs of Police are appointed; Sheriffs are elected.

    5. Dr. Fronkensteen

      To bad Houston doesn’t have the power to make its own laws regarding domestic battery.

    6. He continued: “So I don’t want to see their little smug faces talking about how much they care about law enforcement when I’m burying a sergeant because they don’t want to piss off the NRA. Make up your minds, whose side are you on? Gun manufacturers, the gun lobby, or the children that are getting gunned down in this country every single day.”

      How ’bout the Constitution of the United States, Art? Ring a bell?

      1. Glitterstorm

        Does he feel the same way if a cop kills someone with a firearm I wonder?

        1. Scruffy Nerfherder

          Cops don’t kill people, their firearms discharge occasionally and people die from uncertain side-effects of such.

          1. Glitterstorm

            Must be a design flaw. Sad!

          2. Sir Digby is Biden’s Nightmare

            FWIW, that’s a LOL.

      2. Dr. Fronkensteen

        That old thing? I don’t see why that should stop the Congress from exercising plenary power.

    7. Scruffy Nerfherder

      Then maybe you shouldn’t be a cop.

    8. R C Dean

      How would the Violence Against Women Act have prevented this cop from getting shot? This was a domestic dispute, yes. VAWA provided for civil cases, restitution, and funding for investigating crimes against women. None of that would have changed what happened.

      Methinks the top cop is just standing on the body of the dead cop because he wants that federal funding again. What that tells me is that he does not prioritize violence against women, because he won’t steer the funding he has that way.

      Just like all those police departments (and I’ll bet you anything his was one of them) who never processed rape kits until they got federal money to do so.

      1. Count Potato

        The VAWA provided for a black hole of money. No one can tell you exactly where all of it goes. But some of it is spent on lobbying for more money.

    9. Rhywun

      We really ought to plug the boyfriend-against-girlfriend murder loophole.

      1. Glitterstorm

        ha you said plug and hole in the same sentence

        1. ChipsnSalsa

          STEVE SMITH PLUG HOLE, BY PLUG MEAN…

          1. Bobarian LMD

            YOUR HOLE BE VERY LOOPY WHEN STEVE AM FINISHED.

      2. Ask Phil Hartman about that loophole.

    10. Chipwooder

      Your officers murdered a harmless middle-aged couple in their homes and then tried to cover it up, shitbird. I don’t give a flying fuck what you have to say on the subject.

      1. Bobarian LMD

        Or any other subject.

      2. Spartacus

        He’s still defending them, too.

    11. J. Frank Parnell

      If only there were laws in place that could have kept this guy from getting a gun.

      Cornyn’s office also said the suspect, Arturo Solis, 25, should not have been in possession of a gun due to a 2015 conviction in which he pleaded guilty to a misdemeanor for assaulting a family member.
      Texas law prohibits a person convicted of a misdemeanor for family violence from possessing or transferring firearms and ammunition.

      Oh.

      1. Jarflax

        I understand what you mean here but no misdemeanor should ever strip you of a fundamental right.

    12. Cannoli

      So you’re either here for women and children and our daughters and our sisters and our aunts, or you’re here for the (National Rifle Association).

      Silly me, I thought access to firearms was actually beneficial to women, since we’d be physically outmatched by most male attackers.

      1. Chafed

        Stop thinking for yourself. It harshes the narrative.

        1. Sir Digby is Biden’s Nightmare

          Responding to you, because-bro, but, isn’t Acevedo the name of the top cops/Top. Men. on The Shield?

          No, Aceveda. Eh, close enough.

  3. grrizzly

    Barr said today that the Durham investigation would go on until “last spring/early summer.” No doubt the deadline will be pushed even further. Then it will be too close to the presidential election and so on.

    1. October 26th 2020. If you want to drop a bombshell report on uber-Nixonian corruption by the left, thats the day to do it.

      1. Tonio

        I believe that’s known as an “October Surprise.”

  4. “Tulsi Gabbard Apologist”

    “passed something resembling the USMCA.”

    What’s amazing is that this new agreement is pretty much exactly what Democrats had promised organized labor they would pass since the 1990’s, but never did. And now a “Republican” has passed a new trade agreement with wage controls and origin of manufacturing requirements. In fact, the only reason why the Democratic majority finally acted on this was because organized labor was pressuring them to act.

    Electing a “Republican” to pass a Democratic agenda to own the consumer.

    1. “Tulsi Gabbard Apologist”

      Excellent links, as well, sharpshooter

      1. mexican sharpshooter

        Somebody noticed there were links!

        *blushes*

        1. KSuellington

          Yup, seconded. Like the LatAm theme.

  5. Glitterstorm

    Those greedy Citgo Capitalists are getting their just desserts!

    1. Dr. Fronkensteen

      I just wish the hoarders weren’t keeping the food away from all of those starving Venezuelans.

    2. For some reason, I seem to recall CITGO being the official Venezuela fuel distributor in the US. I’d been skipping them for about 10 years since I found out. Am I getting the name mixed up with something similar?

      1. Spartacus

        That’s pretty much correct.
        PDVSA is the majority shareholder.

  6. Dr. Fronkensteen

    Rock music leads to dancing, which leads to sex, which leads to unwanted pregnancy, which leads to abortion. It tracks.

    1. Scruffy Nerfherder

      I didn’t know Brazilians were Baptist.

      1. Dr. Fronkensteen

        I’m showing my preconceptions. From the article

        Rock music leads to drugs, which leads to sex, which leads to abortions.

      2. A Leap at the Wheel

        No, if they were baptists it would be:
        “Rock music leads to sex, which leads to unwanted pregnancy, which leads to abortion, which leads to dancing”

      3. JaimeRoberto Delecto

        I though Baptists were opposed to sex because it might lead to dancing, not the other way around.

        1. dbleagle

          While addressing a high school assembly my southern Arizona principal said it was: “Blue Jeans lead to smoking, smoking leads to drinking, and drinking leads to sex.” while wearing a sky blue polyester leisure suit.

          The 70’s were a magical time.

          1. B.P.

            I assume he was just angry because polyester leisure suits do not lead to sex.

          2. Fourscore

            “Blue Jeans lead to smoking, smoking leads to drinking, and drinking leads to sex.”

            Teachers hardest hit. Not their fault, its the Blue Jeans phenomena.

            “If you or a loved one has suffered because of teachers getting into blue jeans call 1-800….”

          3. Sir Digby is Biden’s Nightmare

            The 70’s were a magical time.

            Of the LeVey-an sort.

    2. “Tulsi Gabbard Apologist”

      They made a documentary on this phenomenon known as “Footloose”

      1. Sir Digby is Biden’s Nightmare

        Two.

        They made two.

    3. KSuellington

      Pretty funny they’re blaming it on rock. They have a samba variant there called pagode that is basically 100% sex related with the accompanying gyrating stage shows.

      1. Scruffy Nerfherder

        Only club I ever went to where people were literally screwing on the dance floor (not for compensation) was Brazilian.

        1. KSuellington

          Heh, heh. Yeah, pagode shows, especially in the favelas, get pretty damn wild.

    4. Chipwooder

      Hardcore, on the other hand, leads to slam dancing, which leads to facial bleeding.

  7. “Tulsi Gabbard Apologist”

    https://twitter.com/LegendaryEnergy/status/1199520974229475328

    Carbon taxes are going to continue to propel populism in the West. And now it’s spreading to Germany

    1. Scruffy Nerfherder

      I’m from Germany and funnily enough this is the first I’ve heard about this. My regional newspaper didn’t feel like mentioning it (I just checked), but I got an article about Melania Trump being booed by school children.

      *shocked face*

      1. Glitterstorm

        Nothing to see here folks!

    2. Rhywun

      Gelbe Westen? How long before they get skin-suited by communists – a week, two?

      1. “Tulsi Gabbard Apologist”

        That’s what happened to the Yellow Vest Movement and the original Populist Movement in the US, if we look back a hundred years or so. The only time the socialist has ever succeeded is when he has seized control of a genuine worker movement and re-branded it with their nonsense economic thoughts that are more palatable and less threatening to the upper classes who form the base of socialist supporters.

  8. Not a Breaking Benjamin day, a RIP Marie Fredriksson day.

      1. Glitterstorm

        Rest in Peace

  9. Glitterstorm

    I need to speak to a manager. I’ve recently been promoted into a supervisor role at my company and I have a question, “How do you deal with a liar,liar pants on fire employee?”
    Regards,
    local idiot

    1. Document their behavior for when you fire them?

      1. A Leap at the Wheel

        Isn’t it quicker to forge the documentation and gaslight them?

        1. Your medicine. Now you taste it.

      2. blackjack

        Where I work, they start every discipline talk with “There’s no problems with your work,” and then proceed to explain what the problem is. Pretty sure that’s the only management technique they have.

    2. Scruffy Nerfherder

      Play stupid and get them to lie more and more by leading them on. It’s entertaining and it builds a solid case for firing them.

      1. Glitterstorm

        I may go this route. Ol’ buddy lies about everything and anything. Becoming a real detriment to the team.

        1. Fourscore

          Say, you’re talking about my ex-son-in-law, right? In 30 years he never got a vacation because he never worked a year in the same place.

    3. Dr. Fronkensteen

      Steer him to a career in politics.

    4. mexican sharpshooter

      Either call him out (privately), or he keeps doing it.

      1. Mad Scientist

        He’ll keep doing it regardless.

        1. mexican sharpshooter

          Best his unterschlagen understands he’s not smarter than his boss. Glitterstorm, how easy is it for you to acquire a scorpion, and a coffee mug that he owns?

          1. Glitterstorm

            I can do it within the hour

          2. If spontaneous combustion didn’t kill him, I’m not sure a scorpion will.

          3. mexican sharpshooter

            We are not discussing murder here. Murder is a violation of NAP.

            I am suggesting he trap a live scorpion under unterschlagen’s coffee mug, and leave it on his desk. If he dies of a heart attack, it is merely incidental.

    5. R C Dean

      How do you deal with a liar, liar pants on fire employee?

      (1) Build a solid file on his dishonesty. Don’t involve HR; they will just complicate things.
      (2) Meet with the employee, let him know you have him dead to rights and will have him terminated.
      (3) Unless he kicks back 10% of his pay. Pre-tax.

      *Note: nothing on this comment is intended as legal advice. Please consult with a criminal lawyer** before undertaking this course of action.

      **”Criminal lawyer” is not meant to refer to a lawyer who practices criminal law.

      1. peachy rex

        This site has a unique combination of genuinely extremely useful advice, and mock advice that will get you shot/fired/jailed/divorced. Usually in the same thread. Often from the same people.

        I love you guys. /single manly sniffle

      2. Jarflax

        What if the problem employee is female, hot and willing to work out an arrangement to avoid the 10%?

        1. Mad Scientist

          But Glitterstrom may not need his roof re-tarred.

        2. Scruffy Nerfherder

          Services provided in kind is still compensation for tax purposes.

          1. Still have to work out an hourly average to declare it. What if she’s only worth $5/hour? That’s not even worth the graphite to write it in the ledger.

          2. “Write it in the ledger” That’s some creative euphemismising right there.

          3. *puffs on fingernails*

            *buffs on blouse*

            *preens*

        3. Gadfly

          Those films are not documentaries, Jarflax.

          1. Jarflax

            Really?

            *Cancels flight to Japan and all day train pass.

          2. Sir Digby is Biden’s Nightmare

            all day

            Look at Mr. Enzyte over here…

    6. Sean

      Depends on your company handbook for progressive discipline.

      No handbook? “Take your shit home, you’re fired.”

    7. Tonio

      Document, document, document. Corporate HR lives in fear of wrongful termination lawsuits.

      1. Glitterstorm

        Yeah everyone I’ve talked to is saying this

        It’s solid

        Thanks folks

    8. Tundra

      Did you try dropping the gloves?

    9. OBJ FRANKELSON

      I suppose taking them out to the wood line and turning them up is off the table.

      Here’s a handy guide for these events
      http://www.ncoer.com/wall.htm

      1. OBJ FRANKELSON

        Friggin auto correct.. Tune them up.

  10. Dallas South Stars fire coach for, well, reasons

    The Dallas Stars fired head coach Jim Montgomery on Tuesday due to “unprofessional conduct,” the team said. General manager Jim Nill said during a press conference that the dismissal came after the team was made aware over the weekend of a “material act of unprofessionalism.”

    Nill wouldn not reveal what the act was, but said it occurred a few days before he received a phone call about it on Sunday. The act did not involve any current or former players, according to Nill.

    1. Glitterstorm

      Did he really outlast Garrett? LMBO

        1. Glitterstorm

          Lmfao

      1. Rufus the Monocled

        I notice he doesn’t clap as much anymore.

    2. grrizzly

      Gambling?

      1. Gustave Lytton

        “material act of unprofessionalism.”

        Black socks with white shoes.

    3. Chipwooder

      A little Mike Price action, perhaps?

      The funny part of the Mike Price story for me was that I had been stationed in Pensacola for a while, leaving only shortly before the Price story happened, and of all the strip clubs to get fired because, Arety’s Angels was the scuzziest of them all in Pcola. It was no Sammy’s, that’s for sure.

    4. Rufus the Monocled

      Jim Nill’s sparkling bumper sticker caption: “Sometimes in life, the hardest decisions are the toughest.”

      /throws puck at Nill.

    5. Rhywun

      He called someone the n-word a decade ago?

    6. Tundra

      Coke lines on his desk?

    7. Grumbletarian

      Seen wearing a MAGA hat?

      1. Sir Digby is Biden’s Nightmare

        Surprisingly few MAGA hats in Frisco, FWIW.

        Can’t say I miss working for them, but, it did help me build some management experience.

  11. A Leap at the Wheel

    I need to stop drinking 22oz of iced coffee on an empty stomach… Feeling wired, bloated, and sleepy like this shouldn’t happen unless there’s white powder on my nose and two passed out hookers in my hotel room.

    1. Scruffy Nerfherder

      You picked the wrong week to quit anyway

    2. Dr. Fronkensteen

      Don’t be too hasty in your conclusions. Check around and make sure there aren’t two passed out hookers with you.

    3. “Tulsi Gabbard Apologist”

      In the off chance that there are two passed out hookers next you, pics or it didn’t happen

      1. Tres Cool

        Dont forget to check the trunk.

    4. Bobarian LMD

      You can’t fool me.

      When they’re dead, they’re just hookers, Cyril.

  12. Pope Jimbo

    Roh-roh.

    The FEC would like Omar to explain exactly where she got that $800K in Q3.

    $880K in one quarter? We are truly fucked.

    *TW: Powerline

    1. Dr. Fronkensteen

      Her creepy uncle Joe?

    2. Chipwooder

      She received it in her faith tradition, of course.

    3. Rufus the Monocled

      The FEC is owned by Mossad?

      WHAT’S GOING ON HERE?

      1. Pope Jimbo

        Well of course (((they))) are going to run any institution that deals with benjamins.

    4. kinnath

      UPDATE: I should have expressly stated that Omar’s the more than $800,000 in contributions may each be under $200 and therefore compliant with reporting rules. I have added “if any” to the last sentence of the first paragraph to account for this possibility.

      1. Fourscore

        Door-to-door Halloween contributions. You probably got money, in amounts less than $200, occasionally at Halloween. She has a bigger neighborhood, that’s all.

  13. Well, I had a big long comment ttyped out about women being mean to women, bit that I brought a lot of it upon myself because I am not very well socialized, but it went bye bye. In short, to quote Jack Burton, “Sooner or later, I rub everybody the wrong way.”

    1. Mad Scientist

      There’s a niche market for that.

      1. Scruffy Nerfherder

        Rub you wrong time.

        1. My husband doesn’t complain, so there’s that.

        2. Tres Cool

          +1 Bob Kraft

    2. Jarflax

      WITH the nap, not against it.

    3. Sean

      No happy ending?

      1. Bobarian LMD

        You were glad it was over, so … yeah?

      2. Sort of. I work for myself now …

        Of course, lately, I have not been able to stand myself, either.

        1. Mad Scientist

          If you’re not getting a reserved parking space and Employee of the Month awards, your boss may be on to you.

          1. Well, she is kind of a bitch.

          2. “Tulsi Gabbard Apologist”

            *meow*

          3. Gadfly

            What’s a cat-fight with only one participant?

            A meow-nologue.

            I’ll show myself out.

  14. Dr. Fronkensteen

    4000 suckers? I can actually see that.

    1. Dr. Fronkensteen

      Brooksed this. Response to kinnath.

    2. Bobarian LMD

      How many of them even know they donated?

    3. Pope Jimbo

      That would be a ballsy move, but also the way I bet she handles that.

      “They were all under $200”
      “um, do you have any proof?”
      “nope. Since they were all under $200, we didn’t keep any receipts or documentation. Go ahead and say I’m a liar. I dare you”
      “um, um, um, nevermind”

  15. “Tulsi Gabbard Apologist”

    The Chicago Fire soccer team has culturally appropriated the symbol for the Latin Kings street gang.

    https://chicago.suntimes.com/2019/11/21/20975330/chicago-fire-unveil-new-logo-tweaked-name-joe-mansueto-nelson-rodriguez-major-league-soccer

    This is what happens when you have new management that doesn’t know what they are doing. In what world does a crown serve as a symbol for a soccer team.

    1. “Tulsi Gabbard Apologist”

      Also, as some other soccer fans have pointed out, the bottom of the symbol also looks like the top of a pitchfork being “thrown down”, which would be on brand for the Latin Kings. Jesus Christ, do not wear this merchandise in the wrong part of Chicago, because you will get shot.

    2. ttyrant

      The Fire have been clownshoes top to bottom. They got themselves a publicly-funded stadium about 10-15 years ago out in Bridgeview (about 20 minutes outside Chicago). Last I checked, the stadium was not drawing nearly the amount of people and money the town initially projected (shocker!). The Fire officially backed out of their agreement with the town a few months ago and starting next year will be playing all their games at Soldier Field, so Bridgeview is now stuck with a thoroughly-mediocre 20k-seat stadium. On top of all that, the team has been irrelevant for the last decade, so they face the prospect of playing games in a 60k-seat stadium that’s barely a quarter full.

  16. Count Potato

    “EXCLUSIVE: Ex-girlfriend of Juice Wrld reveals he took up to three Percocet pills a day, mixed drugs with cough syrup concoction ‘lean’ and how their relationship fell apart when he turned violent while going through withdrawal”

    https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-7773943/Ex-girlfriend-Juice-Wrld-reveals-three-Percocet-pills-day.html

    1. Scruffy Nerfherder

      Given that Percocet will clog you up like you’ve trying to pass baseballs, I can see why he would be a little testy.

      1. Tres Cool

        Can confirm. I was taking percs for my jacked up shoulders once, and went 4 days w/o a poop. And thats eating 3 meals/day.
        Once it happened…..Im not going to say I know what childbirth is like for women, but I may have an idea.

        1. Sir Digby is Biden’s Nightmare

          Oooh…pass.

          1. Sooner than 4 days?

          2. Sir Digby is Biden’s Nightmare

            What am I, Hercules?

            I mean, I don’t wanna go braggin’ to my fellow glibs…. Here, let’s go in the opposite direction.

    2. Enough About Palin

      Who gives two fucks from Thursday?

    3. Jarflax

      What is a Juice Wrld?

      1. Dr. Fronkensteen

        Rapper who faked his death like Tu Pac.

        1. Mad Scientist

          Or that other gang banging thug who never seen it comin’: Falco.

        2. The Other Kevin

          Someone’s been paying attention!

      2. LJW

        Sounds like an OJ Simpson theme park.

  17. Count Potato

    “NEW VIDEO: Jessica Yaniv Is Back and has been caught masturbating on camera with my underage fans, among other things.

    I’m livid and this needs to stop today.”

    https://twitter.com/MsBlaireWhite/status/1204460801966260224

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dCCbs_imjAw

    1. Scruffy Nerfherder

      I’m just going to take your word for it. Not clicking.

      1. I linked this earlier. Nothing is shown. It’s Blaire ranting (and rightfully so).

    2. tarran

      His name is Jonathan. Please stop calling that pedophile Jessica.

      1. Jarflax

        Deadnamer

        1. R C Dean

          Thrash metal band name?

      2. Sir Digby is Biden’s Nightmare

        His name IS Jonathan, and he looks like a large bowl of ramen threw up (or, down).

        1. Never even filed to have it legally changed. All the evidence suggests that this perv is not actually interested in trying to be a woman, but is instead the predator everyone warned about when the tranny bathroom debate was going on.

          1. Sir Digby is Biden’s Nightmare

            Well, there seems to be a few leftists saying that he’s an alt-right troll, considering the over-the-top shit he’s doing.

            That said, it seems to me that most people who troll on that level usually stop once they’ve been smacked around in a court/tribunal.

            Yaniv doesn’t seem to be smart enough to be a troll.

  18. BTW – trailer for VFW. From the producers (but not director) of Brawl in Cell Block 99, etc. Looks like low budget fun, even though earlier reviews played up a “mutant”/horror aspect that seems lacking from this trailer.

  19. KSuellington

    Ha! Pats caught cheating again by filming. Just wait till the NFL and Roger Goodell gets through with the Pats. Bill Belichick is going to get a very stern talking to.

    1. LJW

      I wonder if other NFL big wigs were visiting the same massage parlor, and that’s why Kraft was never punished.

    2. B.P.

      Why are the Pats cheating to beat the Bengals? I think it was a cry for help.

      1. Jarflax

        I don’t think they were filming the Bengals to cheat. I think they were compiling an NFL’s Funniest Home Videos.

        1. B.P.

          Yakety sax.

      2. Count Potato

        How many times have they been caught cheating?

        1. LJW

          Loved listening to them cry about the bad officiating on Sunday.

          1. Well, it does feel like the win was a bit tarnished for us, considering that one bad call really WAS a touchdown, although the Pats were out of challenges (that they blew challenging stupid stuff).

            OTOH, there have been games, particularly with the Pats, that the Chiefs were screwed over big time.

          2. Bobarian LMD

            And the Chiefs were jobbed a number of times earlier in the game.

            Which is typical in Foxboro.

        2. Grumbletarian

          Depends on who you talk to.

          Pats fan: None! Everything was a mistake or a persecution by the league.

          Non-Pats fans: They have six Lombardi trophies, so at least six.

    3. KSuellington

      Deflategate was way overblown I thought, but their previous spying was way egregious and it was not really punished. It wasn’t punished for a reason or reasons. Most likely is that fellow owners don’t want their own transgressions aired. Or else Kraft has a lot more film on them than the sideline signals.

      1. I see what you did there.

  20. SugarFree

    For those of you who didn’t follow your fellow Glibs down this dark path, I have some thoughts on The Perils of Gwendoline in the Land of the Yik Yak

    It was bad. I knew it was going to be bad, hopefully pleasurably bad, but, alas, not even nudity could save it.

    Formally, it is a rip-off of H. Rider Haggard’s 1887 novel She: trip through a jungle to a hidden city in a volcano, ruled by an imperious woman who is possibly immortal. A sturdy, if well-worn sort of plot.

    The spice that Gwendoline adds is Tawny Kitaen as a young woman looking for her father and the MacGuffin butterfly that he wants so badly. So Gwendoline ships herself–literally, in a crate–to his last known location, along with her maid or nanny or just friend (it’s never really clear.) Gwendoline and the maid? Beth get themselves kidnapped, sold into sexual slavery, accidentally rescued, and then harangue their rescuer into helping them get to the fabled Land of the Yik Yak, where they think her father will be.

    OK, so far, the plot is just a really elaborate episode of Tales of the Golden Monkey but the writing and the acting are just painful. Everyone is either an idiot, an asshole, or an idiot who’s also an asshole. And they scream most of the dialogue. Kitaen is supposed to be playing a spunky innocent, but at 22, the wide-eyed nubile schtick doesn’t suit her. Beth is just there to whine, and the rescuer, a boat captain, is supposed to be cynical and rough-and-tumble, but comes off like mildly brain-damaged porn extra in terms of talent and ability.

    Yadda, yadda, yadda, I hate all these people, I want them to die, etc. And all voices are dubbed over, so everyone sounds even more stupid than normal. A French production, I imagine they were covering for thick accents, but in a couple of places, the actors are clearly speaking French.

    The movie takes a turn when the trio finally makes it to Yik Yak, an industrially-advanced city in a semi-dormant volcano populated by nothing but women and one extremely French eunuch scientist who is trying to–well, I don’t know what he’s trying to do. He lusts after Gwendoline and flatters the not-at-all attractive queen (a long-in-the-tooth Bernadette Lafont, who appeared in fa better films in her youth.) (Please note the butterfly quest disappears completely from the movie at this point and does not return.)

    The Queen is immortal (I think) and runs the city of Yik Yak like a BDSM factory, industrialized sadism of the not-so-naughty variety. Topless bald women being dunked in green water, whippings, that sort of thing, The queen order her fetish troopers to fight to the death in order to get the right to breed with the boat captain, how is slightly adjusted to be a heroic screaming asshole. We get to see Gwendoline and Beth topless a few times, there’s a cringy sex scene of Gwendoline losing her virginity to the boat captain while the Queen watches, the eunuch triggers the volcano to erupt off-screen–and for no plot-related reason, and the whole mess mercifully ends.

    Kitaen makes for a terrible virgin. Zabou Breitman playing Beth is as cute as a button and rocks a Louise Brooks haircut like few others. The actors playing boat captain and The Queen both later died from scenery-chewing injuries

    1. Mad Scientist

      The very title makes it sound like a porno. Too bad they took nearly all the porn out.

      1. SugarFree

        It would have been much better as a porno. The fucking would have distracted from all the bad dialogue.

    2. Gadfly

      So, would you say it’s the type of movie that ought to be sent to the Red Letter Media people for their Wheel of the Worst series?

      1. SugarFree

        It would be a contender, I think.

        I mean, I’ve seen far, far worse movies, but this was pretty darn painful.

      1. SugarFree

        Um, I saw that bitch in the theater, bro.

        1. l0b0t

          YAY! #metoo I’m a sucker for this type of flick. Ice Pirates and Spacehunter: Adventures In The Forbidden Zone being the height of the genre.

          1. SugarFree

            Do you have Prime Video? They have TONS of grade-z horror movies on the non-rental side. And an impressive selection of trashy grindhouse and 70s girly flicks.

          2. mikey

            I can vouch for that.

        2. Bobarian LMD

          I can top that.

          I saw this in a theater.

          There has never been a superhero like Ace Hunter.

          1. SugarFree

            I was the perfect age for Megaforce.

            I grew up in a town with a drive-in and pretty much went to every movie all summer, every summer. And my parents would “babysit” me by dropping me off at the movie theater in the winter months. I was so lucky.

          2. Bobarian LMD

            I was maybe 17? I thought it looked like campy fun.

            Holy shit! They took themselves seriously? WTF?!?

            But at least it had really awful action scenes to make up for the terrible acting.

      2. If you want terrible, try Dondi.

      3. Sir Digby is Biden’s Nightmare

        “…his passion for freedom”

        Boy, do we ever need Yor in this timeline…

    3. CPRM

      And all voices are dubbed over, so everyone sounds even more stupid than normal. A French production, I imagine they were covering for thick accents, but in a couple of places, the actors are clearly speaking French.

      A lot of foreign productions had the actors speak in whatever language they were comfortable with, and everything was dubbed in post. Eastwood complained about how loud the sets were while he was acting in the Spaghetti Westerns, because they didn’t care about on set audio.

      1. SugarFree

        Something really bothers me about dubbing. I’d rather read subtitles any day.

      2. grrizzly

        During the Soviet times there was a film studio in Riga, Latvia. It produced several movies every year. Some of them were popular. Naturally, some Latvian actors got famous as well. They spoke flawless Russian on screen. I recall I was shocked to learn that many of them had a strong accent in real life. They were always dubbed, typically by the same Russian actor or actress throughout their career.

      3. Valentina Cortese has a wonderful scene about this in François Truffaut’s Day For Night. Her character keeps flubbing her lines and says that Fellini did the dialog in post and let the actors just say numbers, at which point she starts spouting numbers, much to the poor director’s horror.

      4. Winston

        Silent films were shot that way which caused some problems when sound came in since the actors and directors weren’t used to silence.

  21. Count Potato

    BREAKING: Matthew Yglesias Is An Asshole

    “At Vox I think the implied audience is a graduate of or student at a selective colleges (which also describes the staff and our social peers), and if you assigned me the job of serving a less-educated audience is probably need to think about how to change things up.”

    https://twitter.com/mattyglesias/status/1204413494390591488

    1. SugarFree

      “At Vox, I think that the implied audience is a graduate of or a student at a selective collegeswhich also describes the staff and our social peersand if you assigned me the job of serving a less-educated audience I would probably need to think about how to change things up.”

      Learn to write, fuckhead.

      1. Thank you. I could not be arsed.

        1. SugarFree

          Poor Sadbeard.

          Did you ever read the column he wrote about how outdoor seating should be banned at restaurants because he felt uncomfortable eating outside?

          1. I avoid Vox at all costs.

            Long ago, when Usenet was a thing, THE thing, I learned to source my assertions and I had a few credible sources on tap. So for instance, if I were arguing with a liberal, I would have a credible liberal site on tap that I could use to make my case. Likewise, conservatives.

            Those are long gone. There are no credible sources and Vox is certainly not one. Oh, my liberal friends would totally believe Vox, but Vox has no truth-telling ability.

          2. Jarflax

            All actions, things. Oh hell, all verbs and and all nouns must be sorted into two categories:

            1. That which is forbidden
            2. That which is mandated

            The sorting is done by consulting your emotional response to a .3 second flash of a slide of the word.

          3. B.P.

            Jesus.

            “Alright space-waster, you need to publish something by 5 pm today. It can be about anything. I don’t give a shit.”

          4. Gustave Lytton

            Didn’t he complain about how hard it was to return Netflix discs?

          5. Gustave Lytton

            Oops. I guess it was his buddy Ezra Klein.

          6. Gustave Lytton

            Thanks. I needed the laugh.

          7. B.P.

            “The elite.”

          8. Rhywun

            LMFAO

    2. Jarflax

      is probably need to think

      edumacated

    3. Rhywun

      I count 2 spelling/grammar errors – but what do I know? I didn’t attend a “selective” school either.

    4. CPRM

      I’m betting the average reader here has more education than anyone that even reads Vox.

      1. SugarFree

        Eh. Education is just a form of adolescence for the white guilt crowd; they collect degrees because they know the real world will eat them alive and spit the bones out in the drain. They might have more paper, but IQ-to-IQ? We’d smoke ’em.

      2. Rhywun

        Meh. Who cares? There’s more to life than book learnin’. If this place turns into a circle-jerk of control-freak egg-heads, I’ll find somewhere else to hang out.

        1. Sorry, I’ll try to tone down my eriditudiness.

          1. Heroic Mulatto

            SHUT THE FUCK UP, EDUTARD!

    5. Suthenboy

      Good grief. Matt’s is a walking, talking Dunning-Kruger. When the school of psychology invited him to speak he didn’t understand they were using him as an example

  22. Spudalicious

    Hey! He called us tardes.

    1. I have a note from my mother.

    2. Yusef drives a Kia

      but Bonus Tardes, so its all good…..

      1. Spudalicious

        Wait, wouldn’t that mean we’re extra tardy?

        1. topnotchtoledo

          I don’t feel tardy

    3. Mad Scientist

      Does the glove not fit?

      1. Spudalicious

        Only if I put on a rubber glove first.

  23. KibbledKristen

    How you doin’?

    Want some airplane pics? They’re unedited, so don’t get all up in my grill, mmkay?

    1. Gustave Lytton

      Get up in your grill? Those are great. At least 5 different 747’s, plus the rest.

      1. KibbledKristen

        I found all the light poles and JetBlue tails annoying AF. A colleague edited out the light pole in this one: https://imgur.com/CC6dNsv

    2. blackjack

      I work at LAX, this just looks like everyday. A few times, I’ve had to go drive an electric utility vehicle around the airfield, like for hours. You see some cool stuff out there.

  24. Winston

    So Impeaching Trump for “abuse of power” and “Obstruction of Congress”. Process crimes, really? Might as well impeach him for a being a poopyhead or for winning.

    Also I thought peaceful transfer of power is an important thing? Guess not anymore…

    1. creech

      What the heck is “abuse of power” anyway? If someone is “abusing” power, then modify the power to make it clear what is and isn’t included in that power. For example, if a CEO has a right to fire employees for cause, and he starts firing absolutely everyone after 30 days, then he is abusing his power and the shareholders need to modify his power to fire.
      So Congress needs to step up and modify the president’s power if he is abusing it.

      1. Suthenboy

        They can’t. His power, in theory, is constitutional in origin. They can’t alter his any more than he can thiers

      2. What the heck is “abuse of power” anyway

        Clearest example I can think of is Bill Clinton pardoning Mark Rich as he (Bill) walked out the door. Yes presidents have complete pardon power and Mark Riches wife can donate whatever funds she wants to any charity or political party that she fancies.

        “Just because you can do something doesn’t mean you should”, that’s abuse of power in a nutshell. There are obviously varying degrees of AoP and only the worst should be impeach/remove worthy. I do’t believe Trumps actions reach that threshold but he did abuse his power and reasonable people can disagree on the severity.

        1. Winston

          There are obviously varying degrees of AoP and only the worst should be impeach/remove worthy.

          You forgot that is only impeachable when your political opponents do it…

          1. That may be the political reality that we live in but I would hope that in a less partisan world people’s sense of right and wrong would override their team loyalties. It’s a subjective matter, you hope people put ideals ahead of team, but alas that aint gonna happen anytime soon. Creech asked what AOP is, I guess I answered that as a textbook question not a how it really works one.

          2. Winston

            Well the phrase “High Crimes and Misdemeanors” was chosen in hopes that people would be impeached for actual crimes instead of vague ones that would be easily abused for partisan purposes such as how impeachment was used in England

          3. Winston

            Also “us[ing] the powers of his office to seek a personal benefit” can be construed to pretty much mean anything and as such will be abused for partisan purposes.

        2. robc

          As I said the other day, and you ignored, by this standard, 44 previous presidents should have been impeached, not 2.

          1. Ignored or didn’t see it, sure 44 other presidents could have been impeached if their AOP reached the level that 67 (hopefully earnest (yeah I’m Pollyanna)) good men/women found it so. Why is that a bad thing, I’d think the more impeachment the better if it limits executive overreach, and forces the legislature to do its job.

          2. robc

            If I thought that is what congress was doing, I would support it. They can prove it to me by first reversing the abuses of the previous 44 prezes. A nice start would be by removing the booze excise tax that led to the whiskey rebellion.

          3. Not Adahn

            You can’t handwave the uniqueness argument. Well you can, obviously you’re doing it.

          4. ?.. Some people got away with it so everyone gets to get away with it?

          5. Not Adahn

            Orrrr….

            The behavior has been considered non-impeachable for the past two centuries, so without additional context, it’s not now.

            “Ban whiskey! It’s got the hepatoxin ethanol!”

            “Why are you only concerned about whiskey? Why not vodka and gin?”

            “Stop trying to change the subject! Whiskey is a poison!”

          6. That’s be a great analogy if vodka and gin no longer existed when I wanted to ban whisky.

        3. Jarflax

          Serious question. If Trump had asked Ukraine to investigate Biden, but Biden had not been a declared candidate for the Presidency would you consider it an abuse of power? What I am trying to get at here is what in your opinion was the abuse. Asking a foreign power to investigate possible crimes committed in their jurisdiction by an American? By a political opponent? That you do not think were committed? I’m trying to take you at face value that you are not just trolling with this, but I sincerely do not see even a hint of abuse of power in this, because I think there is at minimum a prima facie appearance of wrongdoing by Biden, and it is manifestly within the President’s duties to ask friendly foreign powers to investigate such things. So to my mind to reasonably argue that Trump abused his power in this means:

          1. You believe as a matter of fact that Biden did nothing wrong
          2. That Trump has no belief or reasonable suspicion that Biden did anything wrong
          3. That Trump was solely motivated by desire to smear Biden.

          Because if Trump did have any reasonable suspicion that Biden’s behavior was criminal, the fact that he benefited does not in itself make the action improper.

          1. R C Dean

            Biden wasn’t an announced candidate during the phone call in question.

          2. Meh, Trump is a political idiot savant, how often were we told of his great ‘instincts’. If he didn’t see Biden as his biggest threat, which countless polls showed him to be well before he entered the race (many showing Joe as the only Dem beating Don one on one), I’ll eat my “Gary Johnson for President 2016” hat.

          3. dbleagle

            Plus there is a law, which passed with widespread support (looking at you “Aye” vote Pelosi), that Ukraine had to clean up their corruption to receive US aid.

          4. Seems like it would have been a good time for Trump to ask the Ukrainian President to look into that corruption while he was asking about Biden. I wonder why he didn’t mention that.

      3. Rhywun

        It gets you a slap on the wrist from HR, which is basically what “impeachment” in the House is.

        1. MikeS

          A slap on the wrist is censure. Impeachment is being put on a “coaching plan”.

    2. Suthenboy

      Neither of which is treason, bribery or high crimes or misdemeanors. What an incredible shit show.
      They don’t think this is going to bite them later?
      I think they are hoping the senate will toss it in the shitter. The last thing they want is a trial in the senate. The phony impeachment is just so they can say they did to hopefully tank his chances for re-election.
      The whole charade is hopelessly transparent

      1. R C Dean

        Graham is on his way to giving them what they want. He has said there will be no inquiry Biden’s, which is extraordinary when you consider whether there was cause to investigate the Bidens is the fundamental question.

        1. tarran

          There’s something to be said for not playing hardball here.

          In my experience with family court, I found it really valuable to narrow the controversy as much as practicable. It reduced the ability of my ex’s lawyer to play rope-a-dope defense (where they flit from arguing one issue to another issue as soons as the first issue isn’t working for them anymore).

          My ex might have five violations of the custody agreement, but we’d focus on the one or two that really mattered, where she couldn’t claim that she didn’t know, or I hadn’t told her or her lawyer didn’t tell her (really!), or that she’d been sick, etc.

          Just play Biden’s video and invite the PM of the Ukraine to testify. That alone is all the evidence the defense needs to present to the finders of fact need to buttress their case. Let the prosecution face the issue of rebutting the defense claims by calling the Bidens to the stand.

          Then it doesn’t look like a political vendetta between the President and semi-senile gropey mcleghair.

    3. How is ‘abuse of power’ a process crime?

      1. Suthenboy

        Since it is a nebulous term it isn’t because it isn’t a crime at all

      2. Winston

        Instead of saying he is guilty of something specific like bribery, treason, extortion, or quid pro quo in his dealings with Ukraine or Russia he is “abusing his power” which really means using his power in ways the Democrats don’t like.

          1. robc

            Your comment and his are the exact same thing.

          2. Meh, Dems not liking it and enough reasonable people feeling it violates the public trust is not the same thing.

          3. robc

            This goes back to my point. I dont think the Ukraine shit is a violation of public trust. There is plenty to impeach Trump for, wrt abusing power, but it isnt anything the Dems dare name, as every Dem president wants that power to abuse too.

      3. Fourscore

        Its called parenting, according to my kids = Crime of the Century

    4. JaimeRoberto Delecto

      I’d argue that Obama’s DACA was an abuse of power. Legislation is up to Congress, not the Executive.

      1. Winston

        Well the judges and the cosmos say otherwise so…

      2. Heroic Mulatto

        Every single one of Trump’s sins were first committed by Obama.

        That’s why he drives them crazy so much. Trump is just orange Obama. He plays the same game but for the “wrong” people.

        1. Raven Nation

          My kind of debating point is, if you didn’t argue for impeaching Obama for the extra-judicial assassination of a US citizen, then the impeachment should be dispensed with.

          1. Heroic Mulatto

            I know, right?

          2. Heroic Mulatto

            Also, I’m sure you can appreciate the irony in that we don’t have to engage in thought experiments concerning what the Founders would think about diplomatic quid pro quo; we know exactly what they thought – it was the XYZ Affair and it led to an undeclared war with France for two years.

            Yet, I also don’t care. The Rubicon was crossed long ago. This farce isn’t going to revert our decline into elective monarchy one bit.

          3. Raven Nation

            Yeah, there’s almost an endless list of impeachable offenses: Polk triggering war with Mexico, Wilson’s armed neutrality & invasion of Mexico, Tonkin, secret war in Laos, Truman signing a non-ratified alliance with extraterrestrials.

          4. Truman signing a non-ratified alliance with extraterrestrials.

            That amised me.

          5. blackjack

            Remember when Rand had a filibuster to get them to clarify whether they’d drone a citizen on US soil, and they to took forever to answer? Good times!

        2. Count Potato

          Orange is the new black.

          1. Heroic Mulatto

            *thunderous applause*

          2. blackjack

            2nd. That’s great.

          3. MikeS

            3rd. Excellent

  25. Winston

    Looks like the Democrats bringing back the old school Tory/Whig philosophy of throwing members of the opposition party in jail after a change of government. This is something the Founders hoped to avoid hence “High Crimes and Misdemeanors”.

  26. Spudalicious

    Ahh. The wife is getting her hair done so I’m already two pints in. Time to take a break so I can actually get dinner made.

  27. robc

    https://youtu.be/wewsuLjJpEo

    3 year old running around singing “wait for the beep”.

    Mission Accomplished

  28. Count Potato

    “New stores built in Portland could be required to provide a space for homeless people to sleep.”

    https://twitter.com/wweek/status/1202263796133384194

    https://www.wweek.com/news/city/2019/12/04/an-influential-city-panel-wants-new-private-buildings-to-provide-space-for-homeless-camping/

    Now you’re just making things up.

    1. Stinky Wizzleteats

      How long will people put up with panhandlers and drug addicted and mentally ill sidewalk shitters being shoved down their throats by local activist groups before they’ve had enough? I have some sympathy but my patience would have worn out long ago if I lived in a homeless friendly area.

      1. Heroic Mulatto

        We’re eventually going to see Colombian-like death squads.

        1. Not Adahn

          Just wait util the city council legalizes dingo farms.

          1. MikeS

            A dingo ate my baby!

  29. Sean

    https://www.hazard4.com/bags/grayman/grayman-takedown.html

    Picked up one of these to transport my AR pistol in. It just fits.

    It’s my first bag from them, but it seems pretty nice.

    1. Spudalicious

      You have to break it down to transport it?

      1. Sean

        Nope it just fits fully assembled and extended.

        1. Sir Digby is Biden’s Nightmare

          fully assembled and extended

          That’s a man’s motto, right there!

    2. AlmightyJB

      Sharp. This is what I got for my AR pistol. Same deal, just long enough. Has a nice thick pad going around the entire edge though. I’m pretty happy with it.

      https://www.amazon.com/Evolution-Outdoor-Design-Tactical-Breakdown/dp/B07MJRV1K5

  30. Not Adahn

    Is is an Abuse Of Power to deputize citizens en masse in order to give them LEO gun rights?

    https://www.thetruthaboutguns.com/virginia-sherriff-says-hell-deputize-thousands-to-protect-their-gun-rights/

    1. Chafed

      That would be epic.

      1. Sir Digby is Biden’s Nightmare

        coughsaturdaynightcough

  31. Not an Economist

    6 dead in shootout in Jersey City, NJ. 2 suspects, 3 bystanders and 1 police officer. As always details are sketchy at this time.

    1. Rhywun

      48-hour rule.

    2. Sean

      Jersey City is a shithole, just in case people aren’t aware.

      1. Rhywun

        Enh, most parts are fine. Like most cities, the “shithole” areas are pretty localized.

        1. Sean

          You can debate my gf. She’s from there and her mom still lives there.

          I get a constant earful from “boots on the ground.”

          I don’t go there.

          1. Rhywun

            I worked there for 5 years. Yes, it’s not suburban paradise but if you keep your eyes open and avoid the worst areas, it’s no big deal. I’ve known plenty of folks who live there without issue.

    3. They got the guns from Indiana?

    4. JaimeRoberto Delecto

      There was also a mass shooting today in the Czech Republic.

    5. creech

      Can’t those damned Amish stay in the rural areas where they belong?

  32. Sean

    My Congress critter calls every couple weeks for me to participate in a live townhall via phone. This week I was sorely tempted, but I don’t want to end up on more lists…

  33. AlmightyJB
  34. Sean

    Trump live in Hershey, PA.

    1. Is he getting them to make better chocolate?

      1. Sean

        That’s a lost cause.

        This is where the cool kids go:

        https://www.ashers.com

        1. Rhywun

          Never heard of that but there are so many gourmet chocolate options now it’s ridiculous. Every time I shop I see something new. And I don’t even eat candy any more.

          1. Sean

            They’re local to me.
            They’ve been around 125+ years.
            They do sugar free chocolates.
            Their stuff is delicious and I proudly shill for them.

        2. creech

          Is Asher still a big shot in the Penna. GOP? Back when I lived in Bucks County, they seemed like leading RINOS to me.

          1. Sean

            I have no clue.

    2. Heroic Mulatto

      So what?

      Tupac alive in Serbia.

      1. Jarflax

        I miss Nixon!

        Elvis alive in Namibia

        1. Heroic Mulatto

          I’M GLIBERTARIAN

          SON OF A BITCH COMMENTER

          COMMENTER IS PIG

          DO YOU WANT A FIRST?

          DO YOU WANT A AM LINKS?

          COMMENTER IS PIG DISGUSTING

          COMMODIUS SPITOON IS A MURDERER

          FUCKING GLIBERTARIANS.COM

          1. Sean

            ???

            Wait, what?

          2. Crusty Juggler

            lol boomer

          3. Sean

            Drunk gen x.

          4. Crusty Juggler

            A real drunk X wouldn’t care enough to respond.

            IMPOSTER!

      2. MikeS

        You mean Onepac?

        1. pistoffnick

          6-pac was my college nickname.

          I mean I still have a 6 pack, it is just well insulated

  35. Sean

    We’re hosting some family for xmas. Which means we have to rearrange furniture into a non-optimal format. It drives OCD me a lil bonkers. Plus all the Christmas decorations…leaves me tense.

      1. Sean

        Oh, no doubt.

        My liver needs bionic enchancement.

        1. Hyperion

          I think mine is made of steel. I once drank so much it caused me to go into heart failure, serious, but my liver function was 100%, lol. Go figure. I’m not going to try to test that again.

          1. MikeS

            I once drank so much it caused me to go into heart failure

            What, now?

          2. Hyperion

            I’m fine. Drink more, what else?

        2. And y’all get on me for my Tylenol PM habit. Sheesh.

          1. kinnath

            Tylenol PM is just Tylenol with Benadryl — the antihistamine the is notorious for making people drowsy.

            You can buy the cheapest Benadryl clone you can find and skip the Tylenol.

          2. Actually, no, I can’t. Straight Benadryl does not work very well. After a couple nights, not only does it not put me to sleep, it winds me up.

          3. MikeS

            That shit’ll kill ya.

          4. Crusty Juggler

            Live a little and huff some gas, you puss.

          5. The fume quality has gone way down with the introduction of corn, man. I remember that shit, back in the day when I was 8. It was awesome.

          6. To be fair, we care more what happens to your liver than Sean’s

          7. Awwww, that’s sweet!

          8. Spudalicious

            Naw, just means we don’t like Sean.

          9. MikeS

            Don’t listen to him, Mo’. We’re very interested in your liver.

            *emails OMWC for Chianti recommendations*

          10. Just make it look like I had nothing to do with it so my husband can collect the life insurance, ‘mmmkay?

          11. Spudalicious

            *emails OMWC for Chianti recommendations*

            Shit. That guy wouldn’t know a good Chianti if it spanked him on the ass and called him Sally.

          12. MikeS

            *…and I know if I say that, it will rile up Spud*

          13. Spudalicious

            Damn your nimble fingers.

  36. Crusty Juggler

    Tech company develops Christmas dinner in a can for ‘hardcore gamers’

    This cylinder of three-in-one Christmas dinner includes turkey, potatoes, broccoli, bread sauce, sprouts, stuffing and mince pies.

    *drools*

  37. Hyperion

    Well, hell, this site is still here.

    Surfacing. 10 straight days of 15+ hour days, until today. I’m still working, but I left the office at 4:30pm for once. App is a huge success, of course… (I am not a prima donna, fuck off!)

    Is there a such thing as karma or WTF? I got stuck in a huge clusterfuck last night on the JFK around 10pm, northbound, right between the Pepsi sign on the right, and something Mill, can’t remember on the left. Sat there 30 minutes while they apparently cleaned up the carnage of a horrific accident. Cops, ambulances, tow trucks, Firetrucks, fuck. What a clusterfuck. People suck, learn how to fucking drive FFS!

    Tonight when I was coming home, there was another fucked up scene of wreckage and carnage, in the fucking exact same place, in the southbound lane! Damn, good thing, I was going north this time.

    Is orange bad man impeached yet?

    1. Spudalicious

      Are you a Capricorn?

      1. Hyperion

        You already knew that. Stop trying to trick me.

        Is orange bad man gone yet?

        1. Spudalicious

          Orangemanbad is killing it in Pennsylvania.

          1. Hyperion

            Killing children in the streets, right? /CNN

          2. Spudalicious

            It ain’t shooting people on 5th Avenue, but it’ll do.

    1. Hyperion

      I dunno. I never once thought of gaining spiritual enlightenment from eating pussy. Just saying, maybe that’s just me.

      1. Heroic Mulatto

        That’s because you have to eat ass to gain enlightenment.

        1. Hyperion

          Well, that doesn’t do it either. I guess I’m unenlightened.

          1. Spudalicious

            You need to floss.

        2. Count Potato

          That’s why Buddha went to China.

    2. Crusty Juggler

      I remember.

        1. Crusty Juggler

          The official song of 2013!

    3. We’re not saying BEAM’s an alien, but . . .

      Huh. Where’s the demo reel? I mean, sure, talking about it’s fine, but I’m a visual learner!

    4. Bobarian LMD

      I expected something like this

    5. Festus

      Holy crap! That lady could be the twin of my Ex’s little sister. Before you ask, yes. Yes I did have impure thoughts about Kimberly.

  38. MikeS

    We’re getting a decent Christmas bonus, so I congratulated myself by replenishing my whiskey cabinet with a bottle of High West Rendezvous Rye. So far, it’s still the best rye whiskey I’ve tasted.

    1. Spudalicious

      I love the Rendezvous Rye. It’s a blend of 6 and 16 year old ryes. The Midwinter’s Nights Dram is RR finished in port barrels.

      1. MikeS

        I always keep an eye out for that one, but it never shows up here. I need to head west on a whiskey run.

  39. Hyperion

    Jesus fucking Christ on a cracker, my wife’s new friend is hot!

    LOL. I think she got mad at me, lol.

    1. MikeS

      You better “seek enlightenment” to make her happy again.

      1. Hyperion

        Maybe it could be a group session?

        1. MikeS

          Well, sure. I’m sure I’d enjoy it. Just #nohomo, alright?

    2. Sean

      Yeah…we’re gonna need pics…

      1. Hyperion

        Hot redhead. I didn’t expect that. And sending pics might get me killed, so I have to pass for now…

    3. Spudalicious

      That just means she wants you. Trust me. He name isn’t Trixie, is it?

        1. MikeS

          I still have a few of those somewhere. I’ve always loved mysteries and read the Hardy Boys, Nancy Drew and Trixie Belden…what ever was available.

          …but WAY more Hardy Boys than that stupid girl stuff!

          1. I loved Nancy Drew and Trixie Belden.

            Nancy Drew was cool as a cucumber with her blue convertible, always-packed overnight back in the trunk of her car, a rich daddy, and the freedom to do whatever the fuck she wanted.

            Trixie Belden was a feisty redhead with loyal friends, an awesome house up the street, and an otherwise normal life.

          2. Rhywun

            I liked “The Three Investigators”.

          3. Tulip

            Yes, I loved those. And Danny Dunn

          4. Rhywun

            Yep!

          5. Festus

            Heh. Danny Dunn! I remember my brother being super into those books when he was about seven.

          6. Tulip

            I thought Trixie was blonde. Feisty, but blonde.

          7. Tulip

            The Trixie Belden series was my favorite. I couldn’t stand Nancy Drew.

          8. Shirley Knott

            No Tom Swift?

        2. Rhywun

          LOL I re-read one of those recently (shut up!) and wow what a time-warp.

        3. Festus

          Why is the boy in the center with the enormous phallus peeing into a dark closet? That’s the real mystery.

          1. Because the carpet is too nice.

    4. We’re not saying BEAM’s an alien, but . . .

      The horny is strong with you, mang. You need to have a discussion with your wife — along the lines of “Honey, I need you to screw my brains out. No, I literally mean ‘out,’ as in ‘leaking from my ears when you’re finished destroying me.’ “

      1. Spudalicious

        Go on…

        1. Festus

          Hyperion is the guy with the smoking-hot Brazilian wife that wants her to sign off on a special maid service when she goes out of town. I don’t blame the wife one bit for getting a little sandy when Hype notices her flame-tressed friend.

  40. Crusty Juggler

    Grolsch:

    I like it.

    1. Count Potato

      ProTip: You can use the cap as a one-hitter.

      1. Spudalicious

        The swing top bottle?

    2. Hyperion

      It’s pretty good beer. It’s like Heineken with less processing.

    3. robc

      Grolsch bottles are useful in home brewing. Uerige uses the same bottles but puts a good product in them.

  41. Tulip

    I got to meet dbleagle Sunday. He’s a great guy and really interesting. It was fun.

    1. dbleagle

      And I met Tulip as well. She is an intelligent and classy lady with a good taste in dining. I’m glad she enjoyed herself because I enjoyed my evening.

      But dang this place is cold. I am not approving of this concept of a Virginia December. Hurry up global warming.

      1. Tulip

        I’m anxiously waiting for it to get cold so it will feel like Christmas. (OF course, I’m going to Florida for Christmas).

      2. Festus

        Did you exit the establishment in your dress whites whilst carrying her in your arms? If not then you should surrender you Glib card forthwith.

  42. Crusty Juggler

    Should Asian Americans Try to Reclaim Their Slurs?

    How about you people concentrate on putting in a little more effort while driving and a little less effort doing math.

    tiny penis

    slanted vagina

    karate

    1. Hyperion

      One of my Korean friends will lol at all that stuff. Slant eye fuckers.

    2. MikeS

      All of them? ‘Cause, there’s a lot.

      Slurs, I mean.

    3. Heroic Mulatto

      It all depends if you use a hard “P” or a soft “P” at the end.

      1. In my experience, you really need a hard p to get in the end

        1. Spudalicious

          A soft p certainly isn’t going to help your reputation.

          1. MikeS

            And a quick p is only slightly better.

    4. Gustave Lytton

      Shouldn’t that be sluls?

  43. Stinky Wizzleteats

    Supposedly the Senate Republicans are going to hold an expedited trial with no subpoenas for witness testimony from the Bidens or other key witnesses:

    https://www.zerohedge.com/political/senate-republicans-let-bidens-hook-may-skip-witnesses-expedited-impeachment-trial

    If true and this is what they’re planning it’s an enormous mistake that lives up to what you’d expect from the Stupid Gutless Pussy Party.

    1. Urthona

      It’s not stupid. The American public is bored of this. No one cares.

      1. Contrarian P

        Yeah I think pretty much everybody has already made up their mind. All the democrats I know would believe it if Nancy Pelosi said the president sodomizes kittens. You aren’t going to convince them by dragging Biden and Schiff in front of the cameras. All the republicans thought it was bullshit from the start. None of the independents seem to care about the supposedly terrible crimes.

        I know I don’t. After about the seventh “this time he’s gone too far and we’ve got him, Trump is the devil”, I tuned out. Just stopped believing. At this point, I pretty much assume any claim is yet another attempt to evict the president since they know they’re screwed if it goes to the polls.

        Just issue a statement saying “we reviewed the house testimony, it’s a clearly political smear job, a pack of hearsay and speculation that doesn’t deserve further discussion”. Then end the spectacle. You know the democrats are going to spin it as some nefarious plot no matter what you do, so why bother?

    1. Heroic Mulatto

      That’s some Illuminati secret symbolism type shit.

    2. pan fried wylie

      Scarves were fucking retarded before the invention of the fleece-tube, now they’re just obsolete.

      1. Rhywun

        Ugh… snoods? GTFO

    3. Festus

      Isadora Duncan nods solemnly from the aether. That Vanessa Redgrave movie gave me nightmares as a child. That’s not saying much because pretty much everything gave me nightmares as a child.

  44. Hyperion

    What the fuck happened to the Brits?

    Two Minutes

    1. Stinky Wizzleteats

      I haven’t heard that in a while. They were a hell of a band back in their prime.

      1. Hyperion

        Are there any men left in Europe?

        1. Stinky Wizzleteats

          Sure but they’re all Russians and Italian mafia.

          1. MikeS

            It’s all track suits and Armani suits.

          2. Tulip

            Heh! I used to date an Albanian who loved track suits. He embarrassed his nieces in Italy.

          3. Rhywun

            Is this him?

          4. Tulip

            Happily, no.

          5. Tulip

            Mike, would you be willing to send more gin in the new year?

          6. MikeS

            Absolutely. I’ll start keeping an eye on it and see if they put it on sale. ‘Tis the season, and all…

          7. Tulip

            Thanks

      2. Chafed

        They still are.

  45. pan fried wylie

    They were described in evidence before the Commission as “land sharks”, “bloodsuckers”, and “the most oppressive species of tyrant that ever lent assistance to the destruction of a country”.

    Quoting advocates of land reform just prior to the Irish Potato Famine.

    Now, I’m not saying Trump caused the Irish Potato Famine…

  46. Spudalicious

    My new favorite show is “Kings of Pain”. Two dumbasses that travel the world letting venomous creatures bite them. That’s some fine eating.

    1. straffinrun

      Let me know when they let junkies in SF take a bite.

      1. Spudalicious

        Next up is Scorpion fish.

    1. Rhywun

      Talk about the passion.

      1. straffinrun

        That band gives me rapid bowel movement. Shame on you.

        1. Rhywun

          *filed for future reference*

    2. Tulip

      I think I’m getting better at watercolors. I’ve been doing some exercises I found online.

      1. straffinrun

        Good. Post a link to the site when the challenge is up. I’ve learned a few tricks and tried to pick up the basics. Moving from awful to a shade less than awful.

        1. Tulip

          I’m putting together an album and hope others do the same. I would like constructive criticism.

  47. straffinrun

    Let’s see if we can spice up this dying party.

    https://mobile.twitter.com/mizutan_0623/status/1204372003584716800

    NSFW?

    1. Spudalicious

      And here I thought that was the Brits.

    2. Why. Oh, why.

      1. commodious spittoon

        I had a good outdoors piss waiting for the laundry machine to finish spinning, and you know what? I’d do it again.

        I would not, however, film it and post it to Twitter. You’re a sick motherfucker, Mac.

        1. CPRM

          There is something only only men get, and I bet trans-men don’t grasp, the freedom of an outdoor piss. It’s primal, the wind on the ballsack, marking a spot, it’s instinctive.

          1. Gender Traitor

            Marking your territory?

          2. Gustave Lytton

            Not having to hit a small target without splashing.

        2. Yeah, well, this is a girl who is peeing on concrete and splashing on her shoes, possibly her ankles. Damn, at least go in the grass, spread your feet, and squat so you don’t get all sorts of pee on yourself.

          Ugh.

    3. mikey

      *adds straffinrun to the No Click List*

      1. straffinrun

        I’ve been naughty.

        1. Chafed

          No, just disgusting.

  48. Gender Traitor

    So a few hours ago, I finally got a response from the first literary journal to which I’d sent a short story back at the end of July. (It was the final project of a Fiction Writing class I took online through the local community college. Several other publications who received the story later had already rejected it long ago.) They’re not publishing it, which I expected, as it didn’t fit the announced themes of their upcoming issues. (The story may also suck by their standards, though the class instructor – and dear Ms. Mojeaux – were kindly complimentary.)

    What I WAS hoping for was some editorial feedback from this journal. I’d chosen this particular publication because they claimed to be committed to “often offering direct editorial feedback geared to helping writers expand their craft.” (The “often” should have clued me in.) I’d held off on sending the story anywhere else, hoping I’d get some (ideally, constructive) criticism. What I got was a nice, but generic form letter with no specific feedback, same as the other responses. I suppose I shouldn’t be surprised.

    Oh, well – back to the drawing writing board. If any of you writer types know of any other safe sources of objective editorial feedback for short fiction, I’d be grateful for any suggestions. Otherwise, I guess I have to rely on my own judgment and the responses of those few who are generous enough to take the time to read and respond – and/or just keep throwing it out there to the world and hope I can somehow find a way to improve my writing in the process. /rant

    1. blackjack

      Post it up here. We’ll do our best. Some of the folks here seem like pretty damn good writers.

      1. Gender Traitor

        Oh, lordy! That’s crossed my mind, but if y’all didn’t like it, I’m afraid I’d be too mortified to show my face here again. I may have to consult with Moje about this. Don’t even know if it would appeal to most of you – it’s fairly chicky. And so far at least, no sex. (There were advanced high school kids in the online course, and we had to post drafts, so…)

        1. Tulip

          This is a safe space, though. No one would be mean. Everyone is nice to me, and I’m not a good writer.

        2. CPRM

          Hey, I pour my soul out with every post…oh yeah, you’re a ginger, ain’t got no soul.

          1. Gender Traitor

            No, HERE’S someone with no soul.

        3. The folks here always surprise me with what they enjoy. I didn’t think my David Bowie’s Cod piece would get any traffic at all.

          1. We are an odd lot.

    2. CPRM

      Yeah, constructive criticism is dead. Nothing to see here, move along.

    3. Depending on Genre, I provide storytelling feedback, but I’m not an accredited gatekeeper professional, nor do I know what they like.

      1. CPRM

        You also ‘hymn and haw’ at criticism yourself…I gave you GOLD, JERRY, GOLD!

        1. Are we even thinking of the same incident?

          1. CPRM

            I don’t care, as long as it’s funny.

    4. it didn’t fit the announced themes of their upcoming issues

      If a submission doesn’t fit what they’re looking for, they’re not going to give any constructive criticism.

      My advice to you is to put that away (for now) and work on your bigger project.

      1. Gender Traitor

        I think you’re right. What I have so far of the planned full-length work is likely much more marketable.

  49. blackjack

    Wanna see Joe Walsh having some fun? That’s what you got when you went to an Eagles concert back in ’76.

    1. Chafed

      That was great. Joe Walsh is fantastic.

  50. Gustave Lytton

    Missed straff’s late post about Marie Fredriksson, and the announcement of her death. Damn. Too many are dropping.

    My two favorites

    https://youtu.be/kkxj5xVLyj0

    https://youtu.be/VFNRh26TPmM

    1. Gustave Lytton

      But have to go with this one

      https://youtu.be/VFNRh26TPmM

    2. straffinrun

      She had great hair.

    3. I missed straff’s post too.

  51. commodious spittoon

    So I’m hearing The Irishman is pretty good. Do I have to watch Casino and Goodfellas first?

    1. blackjack

      Put it on a loop. It’ll restart once a week. That’s how long it seemed to take me to watch it, anyways.

      1. commodious spittoon

        I remember really, really liking The Departed, and I still remember it vividly today. But I only saw it the one time when it came out, because goodness that’s an intense movie.

        1. blackjack

          I love the rat right at the end.

        2. CPRM

          I like how an editor that should have won an Oscar years before won it for a terribly edited film, just hits home what the Oscars are.

        3. Gustave Lytton

          No one is going to play the Infernal Affairs card?

          1. CPRM

            Nobody gives a shit about white asians.

    1. Oh, that’s adorable.