Q’s Brain Toilet the Fourth: Wobbly H

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Progressivism as Millenarian Cult

I’ve alluded to this several times in the comment section and finally got around to consolidating my thoughts into something (semi) coherent.  I believe that modern Progressivism functions much in the same way as a Millenarian cult.  For those not familiar, Millenarian cults have been around for basically as long as humans have been around.  The etymology of the word is not 100% clear, but it seems to stem from the claim from Revelations that the Second Coming will usher in a reign of perfection for 1000 years.  This is the Christian version, but these types of cults go back much further than that.  The basic idea is that there will be a sudden and fundamental shift in which all of society is transformed, usually after some kind of catastrophe (war, natural disaster, plague, etc.) and afterward, the righteous will live on in a Utopia.  ISIS was a Millenarian cult in that they were open about wanting to goad the West into a “war to end all wars” that would bring about the perfect Islamic society.  Progs, I believe, have crossed into this arena in that much of their behavior is overtly, and often pointlessly, antagonistic to their ideological enemies.  For example: immigrant caravans.  These are quite obviously being organized top-down by prog NGOs and non-profits, then covered extensively by the DemOpMedia.  Why now?  They could have been doing this for 8 years during Obama and he likely would have bent over backward to accommodate them and bring the people in.  Instead, they pull this stunt during Trump’s admin in which his primary campaign plank is ending illegal immigration.  They’re trying to provoke a response and I believe it goes far beyond political gamesmanship.  They are, quite literally, on a Mission from G-d (or whatever higher power they ascribe to) and crave war.  You see it everywhere in the DemOpMedia; times when it would makes sense in every way to try and deescalate, they turn things up to eleven antagonizing for seemingly no reason.  Their ratings and reputation continue to find new meanings of rock bottom; but those are temptations of Babylon.  They have a greater purpose, they must bring about the Apocalypse at any cost.  Only then can Bad Orange Man and his army of sub-human Deplorables be wiped from the Earth once and for all.  Then, my brothers, sisters and non-binary otherkin, the great World to Come will be upon us and we will bask in the warm, healing glow of perfect society.  

Better Living Through Chemistry: Prescription Edition

In a previous Brain Toilet, I outlined the best OTC supplements for life enhancement, now I move on to prescriptions.  A few words of caution: I strongly recommend conferring with a physician before undertaking any of these treatments.  The last thing I want on my conscience is some foolish Glib trying one of these cavalierly and ending up disabled or dead.  Ultimately, you are responsible for what you put in your body, but please be careful.  One more note, it is (mostly) legal to order these meds over the internet as long as they aren’t scheduled.  If they’re scheduled/controlled, all bets are off.  I take no responsibility for your decisions; once again use your best judgement.  Basically, don’t take these drugs, ever.  Good thing I have a friend who can tell me all about their effects.

Cabergoline – I have flogged this miracle drug in the comment section before so you should be mildly familiar with it.  This is an ergot derivative dopamine agonist, specifically of the D2 receptor.  Approved treatments are Parkinsons’s and RLS, but it is sometimes used off-label for depression and used recreationally for sexy fun time.  You see, this drug suppresses prolactin, the hormone responsible for the male refractory period; meaning if you take it for a couple of weeks, your prolactin level will drop basically to zero and you will be able to ejaculate over and over with little to no break in between.  Watch out for signs of impulse control disorder or DAWS.  Use caution, but my friend says it’s totes worth it.    

Topiramate – This is an anti-epileptic drug that is also sometimes used for bipolar as well.  It is also notorious for rapid and massive weight loss, so much so that it’s sometimes used off-label for antipsychotic associated weight gain.  My friend says this stuff works as advertised and fast.  No one really knows why it does this, but concerted effort is required to make sure the weight stays off once the drug is no longer being taken.  The list of side-effects is also about 2 miles long so caveat emptor.

Various Serotonergic Drugs for Premature Ejaculation – This is not a problem my friend has traditionally had issues with so a grain of salt is likely needed here, but these drugs’ ability to delay ejaculation for men quick on the trigger is very well documented.  If you suffer from said problem and you’d like to treat your gal/guy to longer rolls in the hay, this could be a solution for you.  Each flavor seems to have different levels of activity though, ranging from fluvoxamine (minor delay if at all) to clomipramine (he/she wants to be fucked until the next arrival of Haley’s Comet).  These drugs are very well studied so you can find mountains of information on them.

Trazodone – Another antidepressant, but not of the serotonergic variety, this guy does not cause the same sexual issues as the previous ones and his primary off-label use is for insomnia.  A low dose (50 mg or so) should be enough to send you to dreamland post haste with minimal drowsiness the next day.

Things Worse Than Hitler

  • Using water instead of milk for hot cocoa
  • People who continue to text/talk on the phone while at the counter of a business
  • Dewpoints above 70F
  • Granny panties
  • Tube socks
  • Jar Jar Binks
  • Charles Preston’s crossword puzzles
  • Meaningless MBA corporate buzzwords
  • The destruction of one of your favorite places on Earth by a shithead land developer but you can’t get too mad because it’s capitalism after all and time marches on
  • Girls that don’t keep things fresh “down there”
  • Real Salt Lake
  • Hipsters who like things “you’ve probably never heard of bro”
  • Nike soccer balls
  • Juniper, unless harnessed in gin
  • And of course, DRUMPF (am I doing this right?)

The End… ?

Until next time sweet Glibs.  Look both ways before you cross the street, always brush your teeth and wrap your whacker before you attack her.  You have been subjected to yet another peristaltic ejection from Q’s brain, make sure you wash your hands before you eat.

 

Comments

266 responses to “Q’s Brain Toilet the Fourth: Wobbly H”

  1. Spudalicious

    Hot chicks in tiny shorts wearing tube socks used to be a thing.

    1. commodious spittoon

      That’s called roller derby.

      Well, the hot part is iffy.

      1. Michael

        Having been exposed to vintage roller derby footage at a young age and then witnessing the gender studies revival of it in the present day, the gulf between expectation and reality is large enough to drive a tank through.

        1. commodious spittoon

          A friend who was herself not a pretty girl got involved, and her teammates made her look like the hot one.

      2. The Other Kevin

        Mrs. TOK has been in it for about 7 years. There is definitely a hot spectrum (Mrs. TOK is firmly on the hot side, of course). The ones who take it seriously are usually in really good shape.

        1. invisible finger

          Nice to know the Hammond Civic Center has the same events as 50 years ago.

        2. The Other Kevin

          The first time we used that venue, we played on that nostalgia and got a lot of people who watched it there when they were kids. The layout of the building is great because it has a balcony that wraps around the whole thing.

          On the junior team my kid used to play on, one of the kids was brought to practice by her grandmother, who used to be a roller girl back in the day.

      3. There’s not a lot to choose from our local roller-derby team:

        https://grandraggidy.com/members

        1. The names, however, are fabulous.

    2. Brett L

      Still see them lifting at the gym like that.

  2. Edit Fairy to the Side bar. Edit Fairy to the side bar please.

  3. MikeS

    Add “people that don’t turn off the sidebar” to your list of things worse than Hitler

  4. MikeS

    So, I recently got a good deal on a food dehydrator. This weekend I want to try my hand at jerky. Anyone have a favorite jerky marinade recipe they’d be willing to share?

    Also, any other recipes/ideas for reduced moisture food stuffs would be appreciated.

    1. Spudalicious

      “This weekend I want to try my hand at jerky”

      It’s a little late in life to start trying that sort of thing, isn’t it?

      1. MikeS

        Who says you can’t teach an old dog new tricks?

    2. Arab Joe from Korea

      Mom dehydrated fruits and sent them to Dad in ‘Nam

    3. slumbrew

      You may want to ease up on the “jerky” questions on post by Q.

    4. The Other Kevin

      I like dehydrated tomatoes. In my garden, the tomatoes all come in at once and then I can’t get rid of them fast enough.

      1. OneOut

        Hplant different varieties.

        Some cone in all at once and some come in all season long.

    5. Spudalicious

      This is good for 2-3# of meat.

      2 tbsp fish sauce
      1 tbsp soy sauce(I used dark soy)
      2 tsp sugar(I used light brown)
      1/2 tsp white pepper

      Also 1.1gm of Cure #1 per pound.

      1. MikeS

        Would this taste along the lines of Teriyaki?

        Also, I’m not familiar with Cure #1. Is it just salt? Is it something I’ll likely find at the local smoke house/butcher shop?

        1. Spudalicious

          It’s not as sweet as teriyaki. It’s my go to recipe and is awesome with pork loin, as well as beef.

          Cure #1 is sodium nitrite. It will give you a shelf stable product. You can get it from a butcher or any sporting good store that sells cooking stuff.

          1. MikeS

            Thanks for the pointers and recipe, Spud. I’m going to give it a try.

            One last question, I was planning on using sliced meat and will be marinading it overnight. Does just adding some water to your recipe work or do you think I’d need to up the amounts? I guess that may be something I have to learn by trial and error?

          2. Spudalicious

            Nope. You want to marinate overnight with this recipe.

    6. slumbrew

      Dehydrated apples are quite tasty.

      1. Second that. My initial round of dehydrating everything I could find was instructional and a little surprising. Roasted chicken breast sliced thin and marinated in teriyaki was awesome, but the sliced apples were a surprise close second. Green beans didn’t do much for me, but they were ok. Sliced potatoes didn’t turn out quite how I’d hoped.

    7. Stillhunter

      Try coconut aminos for the jerky, top notch! I’ve used it adding nothing else except black pepper before putting in the dehydrator for a super simple and tasty recipe.

    8. You should try the other hand at jerky.

    9. OneOut

      Dried shrimp.

      If you have access to purchase very small pre shelled shrimp.

      Season lightly because it gets concentrated as the dedicated.

      Grapes are cool too.

  5. Arab Joe from Korea

    I’m wearing Dickies tube socks right now,
    Fight me
    Pretty fun Q

    1. DEG

      So am I.

      Whether or not I am wearing anything else is for me to know and you to have nightmares about.

      1. slumbrew

        That depends – where are you wearing the sock(s)?

        1. blackjack

          Spoken like a Red Hot Chili Peppers fan.

  6. Scruffy Nerfherder

    Your lack of synergistic tiger team paradigm shifters disturbs me.

    1. You’re still on that old fad?

      1. Scruffy Nerfherder

        Sorry…

        Your lack of synergistically lean tiger team paradigm shifters disturbs me.

        1. So, when does the next round of golf start?

    2. Brett L

      Listen, man. You need to get Agile so that the velocity of sprints can improve and we can grind out more points.

      1. Rasilio

        Lets get ready for tonights show of Agile Development

        Where the process is made up and the points don’t mean anything

  7. slumbrew

    I suddenly was picturing all of this read by Andy Rooney. I will forevermore hear Rooney’s voice when reading Q’s posts.

    1. The Other Kevin

      OMG me too. “Did you ever notice tube socks? Why are they called that? Were they made in a tube?”

      1. Yes, they are knitted in a tube, the end is stitched shut later.

        1. Homple

          You forgot the “Akchually”.

          1. He asked a question, I answered it. I wasn’t correcting a misstatement.

    2. invisible finger

      Did you ever wonder why the most attractive women have the nicest tits? Or is it the other way around?

      Actually, biologically speaking, tits and hips are all that matter. A woman can say “My face is up here” but the truth is your face doesn’t say anything about your biological ability to give birth to healthy children. And if their mouths are any indication, their faces are probably the most effective form of birth control that God gave them.

      1. Heroic Mulatto

        the truth is your face doesn’t say anything about your biological ability to give birth to healthy children

        That’s not entirely accurate. Facial symmetry has been shown as attractive as it is a signal of health. Particularly because many parasitic infections can cause asymmetry.

        1. Marty Feldman would like a word.

  8. The Other Kevin

    I agree with your first point. I was thinking this morning, that as far as abortion goes, we’ve had a pretty stable status quo for some time now. Most people outside of a few activists on either side don’t think about it much. Then New York said “We’re going to allow abortion up to the time the child can have their own child, and there’s nothing you can do about it!” And Alabama responded, “Hold my beer.”

    Progressives seem to not be satisfied with keeping the status quo, or at least changing things by nibbling around the edges. Now everything has to be RADICAL CHANGE!!!111eleven!!!!

    1. Arab Joe from Korea

      Change is PROGRESS, and everyone knows that’s a good thing , right?
      Riiiiiiight
      / makes racist hand gesture

      1. MikeS

        ??

        1. omg, nazi!

          *punches Mike*

          Oww! My fist hit the monitor instead of reaching through the internet.

          1. MikeS

            Neener-neener!! ?

        2. Rhywun

          Sweet! I was so hoping that emoji existed. Use it while you can, folks. ??

          1. Sean

            ??

          2. Rhywun

            ?

          3. egould310

            ???

    2. Homple

      The status quo on abortion was only metastable, then New York supplied a perturbation.

    3. Rhywun

      The whole SJW race/gender/etc/etc circlejerk is a deliberate push to “smash the system” i.e. start some kind of low-grade war. It’s disgusting & they’re getting away with it.

      1. R C Dean

        Indeed. It is deliberately provocative. They think its a no-lose deal. Either the normies don’t react, and the SJWs have captured more ground/destroyed more status quo, or the normies do react and the SJWs get the conflict they crave.

        What they aren’t counting on, and haven’t really gotten yet (although its starting as campuses start arresting activists for trespassing, assault, theft, disruption), is the disproportionate response. What I call “dispute termination”, as opposed to “dispute resolution”.

        1. Care to elaborate?

          1. R C Dean

            I thought I just did.

          2. I’m not entirely sure what you mean by dispute termination or why the SJWs are unprepared.

          3. R C Dean

            “Dispute resolution” means both sides gets something to resolve the dispute. “Dispute termination” means one side crushes the other and gives them nothing.

            The SJWs are generally unprepared for anything stronger than a verbal response. Their constant provocations are beginning draw stronger responses in the form of arrests and (hopefully) prosecutions, terminations, dismissals.

            Say an SJW demands that a college set up racially segregated dorms, and padlocks the doors to a dorm. “Dispute resolution” is a mild condemnation and giving them some kind concession.

            “Dispute termination” is dragging them out in handcuffs, charging them with trespassing, damage to property, whatever, evicting them or firing them from the university.

          4. I see.

            I have been in favor of enforcing the law against assault, vandalism, and whatever it is when you lock the rightful owner out of their own property.

  9. Fatty Bolger

    Add “People who text and stare at their phones while driving” to the list. These idiots are everywhere now.

    1. Scruffy Nerfherder

      Or stupid twats who Facetime their boyfriends in crowds.

      1. Nephilium

        Anyone doing video chat or speaker phone in public are just setting themselves up for a lot of trolling.

    2. commodious spittoon

      Since they criminalized texting while driving, I have to hold my phone even further out of sight of the road.

      1. ChipsnSalsa

        No officer I was not texting while driving, just masturbating.

      2. texting is an asynchronous form of communication, if someone texts me they should not expect an immediate reply. I’ll answer them eventually, but not while hurling down the highway at 70 in a 3500 pound toxic waste dump.

        1. slumbrew

          3500 pound toxic waste dump.

          You really need to clean out your car, bro.

          1. I’m not the one who stuffed it full of giant batteries.

          2. Arab Joe from Korea

            Yes you are, no one forced you to buy a coal powered car….

      3. Hyperion

        “Since they criminalized texting while driving, I have to hold my phone even further out of sight of the road.”

        They criminalized it here in MD. Guess who obeys that law? If you guessed no one, you win one internets.

  10. 1. First girl best girl, although #3’s got somethin’ goin’ on herself.

    2. Water in hot chocolate mix is a.) how I justify giving my kid hot chocolate too often, and b.) how you avoid having to run down to the store to get milk when you just got in the door and can’t be bothered. Also, change water to coffee and it’s how your wife handles running out of Coffee Mate or whatever that shit is.

    Re: Progpocalyptic Cults: It sure does seem like for a certain bunch of people Progressivism is a straight-up doomsday cult. It does a better job of explaining their behavior than anything else, really.

  11. Fatty Bolger

    OT: FYI for PC gamers, greenmangaming’s week long “birthday sale” begins today. Different flash sales every day.

    1. … I just spent my gaming budget yesterday.

      1. commodious spittoon

        Well?

        1. As a member of the PC Master race, I am ashamed to say I bought a 3DS.

          1. commodious spittoon

            Not a Switch? I’ve been tempted.

          2. The games I was looking at were for the 3DS, and both it and they were cheaper combined than the switch.

          3. Nephilium

            I picked up a Switch with my last bonus, I’ve enjoyed it. Although if you’re looking now you may want to wait for the rumored variants that are supposed to come out later this year.

    2. I don’t know if anyone else here enjoyed City of Heroes back in the day, but a pirate server has gone live at I25 of the game. Instructions here:

      https://forums.homecomingservers.com/index.php

      We’re on Indomitable.

      1. Not Adahn

        I enjoyed playing that with friends, though it was the grindiest game I’ve every played to get to 50.

      2. Heroic Mulatto

        Wait, WHAT?!?!?

        1. Not Adahn

          I know! The link doesn’t work!

          1. Checked it just now, it worked fine.

          2. Not Adahn

            I’ll check it from home, but from here it’s showing as down/moved

          3. Nephilium

            It worked for me, looks like this is the thread you’ll want to read on how to get started:

            https://forums.homecomingservers.com/index.php/topic,950.0.html

          4. Not Adahn

            Yup. Works from home.

  12. Tundra

    Second girl is best girl.

    The destruction of one of your favorite places on Earth by a shithead land developer but you can’t get too mad because it’s capitalism after all and time marches on

    This is one of the most challenging ones for me philosophically. I know what the right answer is, but I still hate to see the places go. Oh well.

    *goes back to ogling Girl 2*

    1. slumbrew

      Second girl is apparently a Q favorite. With good reason.

      1. Homple

        I’d say keep her away from your pet rabbit.

    2. My grandparents and their neighbors were annoyed at the encroachment of subdivisions, so they donated their land to the local cemetary to make sure that area at least didn’t get cluttered with mcmansions.

    3. Scruffy Nerfherder

      “Demand not that events should happen as you wish; but wish them to happen as they do happen, and your life will be serene.” -Epictetus

      And good luck, I’m still struggling with that concept.

      1. did he write for fortune cookies?

        1. Scruffy Nerfherder

          I’ve never seen “Life sucks, get over it” in a fortune cookie.

          1. We go to different chinese restaurants, I guess.

    4. R C Dean

      To ease your aggravation about developers taking out green spaces (rather than redeveloping some building or neighborhood), just take a look at Google Earth.

      We ain’t running out of green space. Not even close. That farm/meadow/forest they just bulldozed? There’s a bunch more just like it.

      1. invisible finger

        Plenty of new green space in Detroit. Chicago soon to follow.

    5. egould310

      First girl.

      Sha-wiing!!

  13. Suthenboy

    Having a hard time keeping up today.

    Agree with the water vs milk. You did leave one thing off of the list probably because it is a little obscure: difficult places to go – miles deep underground mines…so deep that they are hot as hell from earth’s interior heat and they have rock bursts (rocks in the tunnel walls exploding inward from pressure). That is a very difficult place to get to.
    The ocean floor…no air or light and extreme pressure…another very difficult place to get to.
    High mountain tops…little air, very low pressure and precipitous cliffs 360 degrees around you. Very difficult.
    The surface of celestial bodies such as the sun, moon, mars, Venus etc. I won’t list all of the reasons, y’all know what they are.

    The winner and most difficult and dangerous place to get to by far? The goddamned fucking cranny my guest bathroom toilet is stuck in.

    1. Scruffy Nerfherder

      Well, we now know how you feel about guests.

      1. Sean

        I’ll bet he doesn’t even put out decorative soaps.

      2. The bear traps, gator moat, and warning shots didn’t already send the message?

        1. commodious spittoon

          Not to mention the escaped convicts lurking in the bayou.

          1. I thought he was recaptured.

            *looks around in concern*

    2. Suthenboy

      It isn’t the guests that have problems, it is Suthenboy Plumbing Inc. getting the kinked back, leg cramps, dislocated wrists and knots on the head. Worse, the builder put the riser in the slab about 1/6 of an inch too close to the wall causing the toilet to lean forward an imperceptible amount. This causes the flapper in the tank to not seal properly and thus the damned thing runs. I have half a mind to find out who did that and take out a contract on him.

      1. sand down an o-ring at an angle and glue it to the flapper to adjust for the tilt?

        Might be difficult to get the angle right though.

        1. Oh, and do not ever take plumbing advice from me.

        2. Suthenboy

          I ended up putting a shim on one side of the tank to bowl seal tipping the tank back just enough. It took me forever to figure out what was wrong. I took the whole toilet out on the porch and filled with the water hose…worked fine. Reinstalled it and it didn’t work fine. I ended up installing/reinstalling three times.

          I hate plumbing. Anyway, it’s done now. Nap time.

          1. Michael

            If that toilet is anywhere but on the first floor, you have my most heartfelt condolences.

      2. Scruffy Nerfherder

        You need an offset flange.

        Unfortunately that also means you may need to chip out the old flange and install the offset,

        1. Suthenboy

          Got the offset then decided against that strategy.

      3. commodious spittoon

        I’m dicking around in Sketchup redesigning a set of plans for a smallish house that I might someday like to build. The original plan had the under-stair half bath coming off the living/dining area, which I didn’t like. Plus, the architect had a closet under the stairs where, if he’d bothered thinking about it, it had about three feet of clearance. So I sacrificed some garage space to give it the corridor and a slightly roomier bathroom which didn’t sprout two feet from the dining room table.

  14. Chipwooder

    When Alyssa Milano is too pro-life for your tastes, you know you’re a true abortion cheerleader

    Rebecca Traister
    @rtraister
    Many people do WANT to get an abortion, for personal, emotional, health & economic reasons. Many are prevented from doing so. Abortion is not always tragic or hard & for some is a relief, salvation of body, family. Also: none of this matters. It should simply be free & on demand.

    Cuomo Prime Time

    @CuomoPrimeTime
    “Nobody wants to get an abortion,” says Alyssa Milano. “We are all pro-life. But there are circumstances that we cannot avoid. … Just because there are women that don’t believe in abortion, don’t take away someone else’s right.” https://cnn.it/2W1dUXU

    Embedded video
    6,564
    4:03 PM – May 16, 2019

    Free? Look, you can fuck however much you want on your own nickel, but I’m not paying for your damned abortion.

    1. Scruffy Nerfherder

      Traister is one fucked up individual.

      Apparently her mother should have gotten an abortion.

    2. Michael

      For a long time I’ve had a very grim and unsettling suspicion that some women actually derive a sort of arousal from the procedure; particularly the ones that comprise the multiple-in-a-lifetime statistics. This person is not doing anything to dissuade me of that right now.

      1. Scruffy Nerfherder

        There are quite a few women out there pushing for abortion on demand as part of a process of self-validation. I believe their guilt from having an abortion leads them to encourage others to do the same so that they don’t feel alone in their shame.

    3. Suthenboy

      “It should simply be free & on demand.”

      Paraphrased: “I have neither a brain nor morals”

      1. Sean

        “Free & on demand?”

        I guess we could push her down the stairs.

        1. Suthenboy

          Steel toe boots?

        2. Like Crackle!

    4. CPRM

      I’m envisioning a building like a beauty salon, rows of barber’s chairs filled with women reading magazines and gossiping. But instead of getting their hair done, each of them have a doc knelt down performing the procedure. That’s this person’s ideal world?

      1. Rhywun

        Automate that shit. Abortion booths on every corner.

        1. Scruffy Nerfherder

          Modified bidet with high pressure pump and disposal grinder.

          I am so going to Hell.

          1. And lose the resale value of the fetal tissues?

    5. R C Dean

      Many are prevented from doing so.

      Who is preventing them?

      It should simply be free & on demand.

      Its pretty much on-demand now. As far as “free” goes, well, if Planned Parenthood won’t do charity abortions, take it up with them.

      1. White men in state legislatures, dummy!

    6. Rebel Scum

      “Stay out of my bedroom!”

      No problem.

      “Subsidize what goes on in my bedroom!”

      Problem.

  15. Fatty Bolger

    I’m hearing that John Wick 3 is awesome. But based on the trailer, I’m pretty sure this is going to be the movie to see this summer.

    1. slumbrew

      That looks awesome! I’m looking forward to it.

    2. commodious spittoon

      Libertarirynn Videos
      1 month ago
      I can’t wait for Avengers: Dawn of the Age of Transformers Dark Knight Jurassic Rising!

    3. Suthenboy

      Not just trailers. The movies are the same.
      Music is the same.
      Nearly all entertainment is formulaic as hell.

    4. Florida Man

      I’m going to watch JW3, but I’m more excited for the joker movie with walking Phoenix.
      (I know that’s now how you spell his name)

    5. Democratic Hitler

      Awesome.

    6. The Velocipastor or GTFO.

  16. Michael

    O.T.: STEVE SMITH GO DIGITAL! HIM REVIEW HIKER LOG!

    https://twitter.com/peeweeherman/status/1129419170754416640

    1. Michael

      (guys, I am so sorry)

    1. Scruffy Nerfherder

      37 has a nice pussy

    2. Scrolling past #1 was entirely unnecessary.

    1. slumbrew

      This seems like something I’d see from Q: https://imgur.com/gallery/cXNGw8K

    2. Rebel Scum

      I hope that this is a cat, given that I am still at work.

      *clicks*

      Nice. One of my cats is a total carbo. He once ran off carrying a loaf of bread in his mouth while I was making a sammich. The other one has been known to inhale asparagus that is as long as she is. My cats are weird.

  17. >>Granny panties

    A decade or two ago I was at a punk rock basement party, following a blond girl up the cramped flight of stairs. I look up and see a huge pair of bloomers staring me in the face.

    “Nice granny panties,” I blurted out.

    “I’m doing the laundry,” she replied without any embarrassment.

    1. Yeah. Fair enough.

    2. I love no-nonsense women.

  18. Suthenboy

    One more thing before a nap…

    Re: Fish pussy from morning links. How do they avoid the fish tissue dying and rotting? How do they keep the body from rejecting foreign tissue? It sounds like the goat testicle implants from the early 20th century.
    I am calling bullshit.

    1. Heroic Mulatto

      Is it really “foreign” tissue? I’m not convinced.

    2. Florida Man

      They use pig skin for grafts, bovine heart valves and other animals so it’s not really all that unusual.

    3. R C Dean

      As near as I can tell, the fish skin is on a fleshlight, which has a dildo stuffed into it to keep it from collapsing. What exactly happens to the fish skin, I have no clue. I am suspicious, however, of the claim that the final product is nearly indistinguisshable from an OEM vagina.

      1. Scruffy Nerfherder

        the final product is nearly indistinguisshable from an OEM vagina

        I certainly don’t plan on finding out.

      2. Rhywun

        There’s a “void the warranty” joke in there somewhere.

        1. R C Dean

          I think they are actually warrantying the void.

    4. Not Adahn

      It doesn’t dry because a new dermis is growing on it.

      It DOES rot away, but supposedly by then the dermal layer is complete.

  19. wdalasio

    Sorry to go OT, but there one thing that bothers me about this whole Alabama dust-up. Does anyone really think this law is going to pass Constitutional muster with the SCOTUS? As far as I can tell, the whole thing is just a bit of conservative virtue-signalling. They want to let their constituents know that they think abortion is icky. When you have Governors (Northram in VA) saying they’re pretty much okay with post-partum infanticide, that’s hardly a hugely surprising reaction.

    And while I’m at it, what’s with all the response about “white men, blah, blah, blah”? The Governor signing this into law is a woman, and if national statistics are anything to go by, the black population roughly maps the white population on the issue.

    1. Scruffy Nerfherder

      They’re gearing up for making abortion a major wedge issue in 2020. Outside of the moral discussion, I think it’s a huge mistake politically.

      1. R C Dean

        Each side is convinced that their position will bring in the undecided/compromise middle. They have been for years. They have been wrong for years. I see no reason for this to change.

        Having yet another pissing match on abortion seems somewhere between pointless and counterproductive. I suspect that it will be a slight detriment to the Repubs, because it will distract from two issues that have been developing in their favor: the economy and immigration.

        And yes, the law is blatantly unconstitutional under current SCOTUS doctrine. They believe, wrongly, that SCOTUS will overturn Roe with its current membership, which ranges all the way from hard left to squishy center.

        1. Michael

          Not trying to play sides on this one because it’s cataclysmically fucking stupid, but I think it’s fair to say that NY and GA fired the first shots.

    2. RAHeinlein

      I don’t know whether this will pass Constitutional muster – hopefully not – but the written law is far from virtue signalling given than it is essentially a complete ban with little concern for the woman’s (apparently breeding stock in Alabama) health.

      1. wdalasio

        If you pass a law and you know it’s going to get struck down (it almost certainly will be), you’re virtue signalling.

        1. Not necessarily.

          Here’s the existing Alabama law regarding abortion.

          Here’s the new law.

          So, IANAL or anything like one, but near as I can figure the big difference in the new law is that where abortion was a criminal offense but not terribly serious–max 12 months in jail and $1000 fine–the mother as well as the doctor could be charged. In the new law, the mother isn’t charged, and the fetus is considered a person for purposes of what amounts to a homicide charge against the doctor.

          Maybe some actual lawyers around here can weigh in on the strategy here, but it doesn’t seem like it changes the “right to privacy” argument behind the original Roe decision. It seems instead just like they want to pass another law specifically to get it in front of what they hope might be a better set of SC judges. It might result in the same effective ruling but under a different legal rationale that would permit states more leeway in regulation. Or maybe it will overturn Roe and this will become a matter for Congress to decide rather than the Nazgul.

          1. R C Dean

            I think, but don’t know, that the current Alabama law has been declared unconstitutional; such statutes generally stay on the books even though they are effectively null and void.

          2. So here’s something I don’t understand about SC rulings. The SC doesn’t make law, it just decides whether specific cases are constitutional or not. Then, that becomes the basis for future lower court rulings. So the SC says that Roe wins because the state doesn’t have the right to ban abortion as this is a violation of a woman’s right to privacy as such is established in some fashion by the equal protection language in the 14th. Does that automatically invalidate all existing laws that have similar effects? Who makes that decision?

          3. R C Dean

            Does that automatically invalidate all existing laws that have similar effects?

            Yes.

            Who makes that decision?

            If a state didn’t think its law had been invalidated, it would continue to enforce it, and there would be another lawsuit to decide the issue.

          4. At first I thought that maybe since the mother isn’t at risk of legal consequence that gets around the “the state can’t tell you what you can do with your body…” 14th amendment bit by saying, “…but it CAN tell other people what they CAN’T do to it.” I’m not sure that you don’t subsequently run afoul of privacy issues by necessarily requiring medical information to prove a crime to which the mother isn’t a party, though. After all, it’s not illegal to *get* an abortion, it’s illegal to *perform* an abortion.

          5. R C Dean

            I’m not sure that you don’t subsequently run afoul of privacy issues by necessarily requiring medical information to prove a crime to which the mother isn’t a party,

            No prob. Medical records aren’t protected from criminal investigations at all. Subpoena, search warrant, hell, even a written statement from an LEO or investigator that they need records, and HIPAA goes away.

            And I don’t think you get around Roe by saying “you have the right to get an abortion, but nobody has the right to perform one for you”.

          6. Good lord, really? I don’t have much experience with HIPAA other than having to do a bunch of training at an old job where we dealt with digital access to medical records. The general theme was to treat them as if they were radioactive.

          7. R C Dean

            Yes, really. You didn’t think the government was going to create a regulation that gave you any real privacy protections from the government, did you?

          8. Every time I think I’ve become as cynical as I could I learn something new that shines a little red dot on the forehead of a hidden Polyanna.

          9. R C Dean

            HIPAA switches off when you get any of these:

            (A) A court order or court-ordered warrant, or a subpoena or summons issued by a judicial officer;

            (B) A grand jury subpoena; or

            (C) An administrative request, including an administrative subpoena or summons, a civil or an authorized investigative demand, or similar process authorized under law, provided that:

            (1) The information sought is relevant and material to a legitimate law enforcement inquiry;

            (2) The request is specific and limited in scope to the extent reasonably practicable in light of the purpose for which the information is sought;

          10. slumbrew

            The general theme was to treat them as if they were radioactive.

            Are you one of the King’s Men? No? Then there you go.

    3. The Other Kevin

      I would very much like to see Trump tweet something like, “I have always supported a woman’s right to choose. Think of how much child support I would have had to pay if women did not have that right.”

    4. Fatty Bolger

      They know it probably isn’t going to get past the courts. But remember, manipulation of the Overton window isn’t limited to the left.

  20. libertarianjoe

    1, 2, and 3. “would” all

    Sorry, was there an article or something? Didn’t even notice

    1. Rebel Scum

      I noticed something about “progress” and I figured there had been an advance in boob implant tech, something that would make them less obviously fake and weird. Then I was distracted by real tits.

      1. libertarianjoe

        Advance in boob implant tech? IFLS!

    1. Scruffy Nerfherder

      Nyangostar is the bomb. It’s like Neil Peart had a baby with Animal.

      1. Sorry, Neil Peart is probably the world’s best drummer, but otherwise not my type.

  21. robc

    http://barclayperkins.blogspot.com/2019/05/wild-about-mild.html

    I think the chart in there sums up the theme of the mild beer posts I have been posting recently.

  22. AlexinCT

    I believe that modern Progressivism functions much in the same way as a Millenarian cult.

    And you are correct. It is a quasi-religious movement in that it replaced the old religions, with concepts/ideas such as heaven, purgatory, and hell, or reincarnation, where rewards & punishment for a bad life lived came in the afterlife (or next life), at the hands of a all seeing/all knowing good power and his nemesis or at the hands of a group of powers on either side, with the belief that government took the role of said all seeing/knowing good power, capitalism or the private sector that of the nemesis, and the rewards no longer coming in the afterlife, but being delivered by collectivization right here on earth.

    It is idiotic to the max in the stupidity of people – practically always motivated by envy/jealousy more than anything else – that pretend government somehow is not composed of fallible and usually even more malevolent (because of the power) people, because they want to believe the universe can only be fair if everyone gets to cross the finish line at the same time and with the same toys, regardless of the choices and actions these people take.

    I have nothing but contempt for people that are blind to the fact they are willing to accept massive misery for themselves as long as it is also inflicted on other people. This is my idea of hell.

    1. the universe can only be fair if everyone gets to cross the finish line at the same time and with the same toys

      What’s the point of running the race if you are forced to cross in lock-step with all the losers?

      1. Rhywun

        All you get now is a participation badge.

        1. R C Dean

          Or a mass grave. Your, well, their, choice.

    2. R C Dean

      I see it as a utopian movement, which to me is a variation on a millenarian movement. Both rely on destroying the current order to make room for a new, (more) perfect society. One which generally, BTW, is inconsistent in some way with human nature. The vision of the “city on the hill” both gives meaning to the utopians, and justifies the crimes necessary to destroy the current order.

      1. wdalasio

        I have to admit that I’m skeptical of the utopian claim. The problem I observe is that they’ve taken to pushing stuff that, even on an obvious level, can’t work. What they seem to be turning to isn’t stuff that “is good in theory, but…”. It’s stuff that can only lead to misery and suffering. And that’s the thing I can’t fully figure out.

        1. R C Dean

          I think the only leading to misery stuff is on the “destroy the current order” side of the ledger, not the “shining city on a hill” side.

          Now, their shining city won’t work, either, but its probably (to a certain mindset, anyway) “good in theory”. You and I know that their theory will also only lead to misery, but that’s why we’re not utopians, and they are.

    3. R C Dean

      they are willing to accept massive misery for themselves as long as it is also inflicted on other people

      See, also, “equality”.

  23. Nephilium

    In good news, it appears spring has finally come here to Cleveland. The rain is supposed to be done today, meaning I can get in another bike ride in tomorrow, planning on ~35 miles.

    1. slumbrew

      58 and rainy in the Boston area.

      On the plus side, it’ll be low 70’s tomorrow. On the minus side, I’ll be wearing a suit and sitting in temple for a couple of hours, listening to a 13-year-old butcher the Torah (not that I’d know if he’s doing it right, TBF).

      1. Nephilium

        The only downside is that my hybrid bike needs to go into the shop for some work, so I need to work on getting my road bike in shape for a long ride this afternoon. The girlfriend’s working, so at least there’s space in the garage for me to do that.

        Thankfully, the girlfriend’s ((family)) has mostly aged past the Bar/Bat Mitzvah stage so I’ve only needed to go to one so far.

        1. slumbrew

          This isn’t even family – it’s the wife’s office-mate’s child.

          Oddly, despite growing up on Long Island, this will be my first Ba[rt] Mitzvah.

          We still need to figure out how much to give the lad.

          1. I didn’t think you were allowed to give him money on Shabbat.

  24. RAHeinlein

    House just passed the Equality Act.

    1. Which piece of Orwellian legislation is that?

      1. R C Dean

        I think its the one that says women (and presumably people who are confused/convinced they are a woman) have rights and privileges that men don’t have. You know, equality.

      2. RAHeinlein

        The Equality Act would amend existing civil rights law—including the Civil Rights Act of 1964, the Fair Housing Act, the Equal Credit Opportunity Act, the Jury Selection and Services Act, and several laws regarding employment with the federal government—to explicitly include sexual orientation and gender identity as protected characteristics. The legislation also amends the Civil Rights Act of 1964 to prohibit discrimination in public spaces and services and federally funded programs on the basis of sex.

        Additionally, the Equality Act would update the public spaces and services covered in current law to include retail stores, services such as banks and legal services, and transportation services. These important updates would strengthen existing protections for everyone.

        https://www.hrc.org/resources/the-equality-act

        1. The appropriate response is to simply repeal all of those unconstitutional laws instead.

          1. Rhywun

            Bless your heart.

        2. Cake for everyone! Wheee!

        3. R C Dean

          retail stores, services such as banks and legal services, and transportation services

          By including banks, they may be shooting themselves in the dick on their new strategy of locking irredeemables out of the financial system.

        4. Scruffy Nerfherder

          In other words, you can’t discriminate against the mentally ill, nor disagree with them.

        5. R C Dean

          I suggest the Senate pass this law, with the following amendments:

          (1) prohibiting discrimination on the basis of political views (like Cali already does)

          (2) adding CDCA-protected information service providers to the list of covered public services.

          No fucking way would the House ever vote to approve that, and the bill dies in conference committee.

      3. Rhywun

        The one that gives “EXCUSE ME, IT’S MA’AM!” force of law.

        1. In my head, that quote is being said by Michael Clarke Duncan in a window-ratting contrabass.

          1. He wasn’t quite that low-voiced, but there was no way anyone would mistake him for a woman.

        2. Time to revive the National Order of Men Against Amazonian Masterhood?

          1. Timeloose

            It’ll be Yes MAAM.

  25. robc

    For any of the other submitters out there, what controls the image and text that appears on the main page for an article? I have everything within the article itself figured out, I think.

    1. There’s a “Featured Image” and “Excerpt” section of the editor that controls what appears on the main page.

      1. After you set the featured image, you will want to check the “Hide featured image on post” just below the box to turn off the side bar.

        1. robc

          Fot it, then if you want an image at the top of your article, embed it in the post?

          1. Yes.

            It’s easier to control by embedding the images in the post anyway.

          2. robc

            okay, I was doing that backwards, but that makes lots of sense. Thanks much.

            For an engineer, I am starting to figure this words thing out.

            Also, I suck at technology.

      2. robc

        I thought “featured image” controlled the image at the top of the article? Or does it do both? And aren’t they different in some articles?

        Thanks on excerpt, that was what I was going to try. Is there a way to preview the way the main page is going to look? I guess not.

        1. Featured image sets what’s on the front page, and if you don’t check ‘hide featured image on post’ it will be repeated much bigger on the article page as well.

          I’m afraid I don’t know of a way to preview how the main page will look.

    2. robc

      RE: the discussion yesterday, my SLD:UBI article has been submitted.

      And I see Pie has a UBI article scheduled for next week.

      Dammit, Pie.

      1. R C Dean

        I’m thinking I may try to SLD affirmative action.

        1. robc

          Talk to Pie first, he probably has a piece on AA for Vampires in the works.

  26. Timeloose

    Thanks for the prescription tips. I’ll try to take all of them. That way I’ll be unable to “finish” for a few hours, but when I do i’ll need to change the condom a few times. I hope I’ll have the calories stored to keep it going after all the weight I’ll loose.

  27. Hyperion

    Cali to ban gas powered cars?

    Millions of people unable to get to their jobs, to get groceries, to get to a hospital. LOL! Go ahead and do it. Do it, or you are a bunch of pussies and you hate the planet.

    1. R C Dean

      Aw, hell no. If this gets any traction, the exodus of Californians metastasizing the stupidity that is California all across the country will only increase.

      If I wanted to live in California, I’d move there. I don’t want California moving here.

      1. Hyperion

        I think we’re trying to build a wall on the wrong border.

        1. robc

          We really should enourage/force CA to secede from the union. I would even give them a (small) discount on their share of the National Debt (20% off if you leave before the end of the year!)

          1. Hyperion

            Then how could they depend on the next democrat POTUS to give them a gigantic tax payer funded bailout? They’re not going anywhere, although we can always dream.

          2. R C Dean

            If the Repubs run the table in DC next year, there might be a window of opportunity.

            Four more years of Trump, with less NeverTrump Repub opposition? That might be enough.

            I’m thinking, though, that we have pretty much seen how stupid the Dems are going to get next year. I don’t think we’ve seen how stupid the Repubs are going to be. The Dems are just begging for an ass-whipping, with the Green New Deal, gun control, tax increases, open borders, etc., and the Repubs are just the ones to not give it to them.

          3. Hyperion

            The beautiful thing about that, is that when the dems get Trump re-elected and lose the house back as well as losing even losing even more seats in the Senate, they are going to believe that it’s because they didn’t go far enough left, which will give the crazies destroying the party even more power.

          4. R C Dean

            Early odds, assuming no major/catastrophic developments before the election:

            (1) Trump re-election: 80%

            (2) Repubs take House back: 55%

            (3) Repubs pick up Senate seats: 20% – they have way more seats up than the Dems, so math is not their friend.

        2. Arab Joe from Korea

          As long as I get out first

  28. Fatty Bolger

    Missing Maui hiker’s boyfriend believes she’s still in dense forest

    Yeah, right where he left her. Seriously, it doesn’t prove anything, but if you watch the video that dude’s got those wide open unblinking crazy eyes.

  29. Hyperion

    “This is the Christian version, but these types of cults go back much further than that. The basic idea is that there will be a sudden and fundamental shift in which all of society is transformed”

    Well, the last time they had that delusion is when Obama was elected. How’d that go? Oh yeah, 8 years into their thousand year reign, we got Trump! Is there an acronym for double triple lulz?

  30. ChipsnSalsa

    You MN guys know you deserve this.

    1. Hyperion

      Staring bid: US $130.

      I see someone is overbidding already…

      1. Hyperion

        starting bid. Edit faery!

    2. slumbrew

      Prime Minister Justin Trudeau having a few too many strawberry daiquiris Wednesday evening

      Excellent. You just know he’s a girl drink drunk.

      1. Arab Joe from Korea

        Great skit!

    3. robc

      Is that legal? I don’t think the US can sell something that is already a part of Canada.

    4. Suthenboy

      I might bid something but for now I am gonna wait for Snopes to fact check this story first.

  31. DEG

    People who continue to text/talk on the phone while at the counter of a business

    I agree.

    1. Hyperion

      This is what happens when you hire lazy millennials for minimum wage.

    2. R C Dean

      Also, people who answer the goddam phone when they have a real live customer/client/colleague right in front of them.

      1. Hyperion

        What’s even worse is cell phone zombies. I really hate it when I take my noon walk and one of them gets in my way. They tend to ‘float’ in traffic. I mean they are staring their goddamn phone and walking like a 100 year old granny and sort of floating diagonally in one direction or other. I ran into a person doing that about a week ago, hard enough that it knocked her phone out of her hand. I don’t care, if you’re walking in traffic, get your head out of your fucking ass.

        1. R C Dean

          A couple of times, I have planted myself in their path and not moved. No actual collisions yet, but some satisfactory “startles”.

          1. Nephilium

            I’ve seen quite a few of those people on the trails who jump as I go past them (even after announcing that I’m passing).

        2. slumbrew

          JFC, so much this. I’m a faster-than-average walker and the people wandering to and fro down the sidewalk as their eyes are clamped to their phone make me want to just push them to the side.

          That’d be wrong, correct?

          1. Hyperion

            I only walk that course a few times a week, when I’m in the city to meet with clients. But I do it at lunch time and so there will always be a lot of foot traffic. I think I’ve gotten passing without collision down to a pretty fine art. I’m walking fast because I’m doing it for exercise, so I have to pass a lot of people. I’ve had only a few collisions and it’s just been a slight bump until that time. I had a very narrow corridor to make the move and this person just suddenly veered right in front of me and I must have ran into her arm at just the right time and her phone went flying, lol. I doubt she ever saw me, but it felt like poetic justice. I was thinking ‘serves you right, beeatch, get yer head out yer fucking arse’.

            “That’d be wrong, correct?”

            Punching them, I hate to say it, but yeah, probably wrong. Running into them not on purpose, no.

      2. Arab Joe from Korea

        Only if the call regards the customer in front of you otherwise swipe left

    1. slumbrew

      As in a baby’s arm, holding an apple? I’m good.

      1. R C Dean

        I love that its in the “sports” section.

    2. Hyperion

      Fuck it, when I finally get too old to get it up, I’m gonna get a fusion powered bionic dick and totally destroy all the granny pussy at the retirement home.

      1. Scruffy Nerfherder

        Can bionic dicks get herpes?

        1. Raven Nation

          I assume they can get viruses.

          1. Hyperion

            Oh, ye non-bleevers, have faith, the bionic dick cannot be killed by a virus, bionic dick will be supreme!

          2. *Narrows urethra*

    3. Stinky Wizzleteats

      “The most common complication? Permanent numbness.”

      Yikes!

    4. grrizzly

      Since we have a shortage of TMI stories around here, I should contribute. Apparently, there’s such a thing as hyperspermia. And I qualify for it. Way beyond the threshold. Learned this week.

      1. R C Dean

        Bonus points for the rare combo of TMI and humble-brag.

        1. slumbrew

          Truly, that’s an impressive bit of work.

      2. Scruffy Nerfherder

        Is your spunk like the alien in The Thing or something like that?

      3. Well, you are a Grrizzly Bear.

        1. slumbrew

          a jizzzly bear, apparently