Recipe: SP’s Lemon Curd

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SP’s Lemon Curd

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We love lemon curd. But it needs to actually be lemony!

This recipe is much less sweet than many others. You can adjust the level to your preference.

With berries beginning to be in-season-luscious, it’s the perfect time to indulge.

You could also use this same lemon curd recipe for tarts or pies, or as a base under a nice slice of pound cake.

Serves 4-6. YMMV.

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For the Lemon Curd

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  • 4 large lemons
  • 1 to 1-1/4 cups granulated sugar
  • 1/4 cup unsalted butter, softened
  • 8 egg yolks (reserve the whites for another use, if desired)
  • 3/4 cup lemon juice
  • 1/8 tsp salt

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1. Remove the zest from the lemons, being careful to avoid the bitter white pith beneath, and add to a food processor bowl. 

2. Add sugar to food processor bowl and process until the zest is finely minced and incorporated into the sugar.

3. Transfer the zest-sugar mixture to a mixing bowl.

4. Add the butter to the mixing bowl; cream the sugar and butter.

5. Add the egg yolks to the mixing bowl and stir until combined.

6. Thoroughly mix in the lemon juice and salt, then transfer the mixture to a 3 quart saucepan.

7. Place a fine mesh strainer over a bowl large enough to accommodate the lemon curd, and set aside.

8. Cook the lemon curd over medium heat, stirring constantly. The mixture will begin to thicken after about 5 minutes.

9. Continue cooking until the lemon curd thickens enough to coat the back of a wooden spoon, or it reaches 190F. It should be thick, yet still pourable.

10. Pour the lemon curd into the strainer, pressing with a spoon or spatula to force the curd through, leaving any course bits of lemon zest or pieces of separated egg yolk behind in the strainer.

11. Chill thoroughly before serving.

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For the Berries

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  • 2 cups strawberries, hulled and quartered 
  • 1 cup blueberries
  • granulated sugar to taste

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1. Add the strawberries, blueberries, and sugar to a bowl. Stir.

2. Cover and let the berries rest to release juices while the lemon curd chills.

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Assembly

[/et_pb_text][et_pb_divider color=”#cccccc” divider_weight=”2px” _builder_version=”3.2″ max_width=”80px” max_width_tablet=”150px” max_width_phone=”150px” max_width_last_edited=”off|desktop” animation_style=”fold” animation_direction=”left” animation_intensity_fold=”5%” animation_starting_opacity=”100%” /][/et_pb_column][/et_pb_row][et_pb_row _builder_version=”3.10.1″ width=”90%” max_width=”1080px”][et_pb_column type=”4_4″][et_pb_text admin_label=”procedure” _builder_version=”3.23.1″ text_font=”Cormorant Garamond|500|||||||” text_text_color=”#1e1e1e” text_font_size=”20px” text_line_height=”1.8em” animation_direction=”left” inline_fonts=”Georgia” text_text_shadow_horizontal_length=”text_text_shadow_style,%91object Object%93″ text_text_shadow_horizontal_length_tablet=”0px” text_text_shadow_vertical_length=”text_text_shadow_style,%91object Object%93″ text_text_shadow_vertical_length_tablet=”0px” text_text_shadow_blur_strength=”text_text_shadow_style,%91object Object%93″ 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1. Place a couple tablespoons of berry mixture in the bottom of a dessert dish or bowl.

2. Spoon chilled lemon curd over the berries, leaving room at the top of the dish.

3. Top with more berries. 

4. Enjoy!

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Comments

270 responses to “Recipe: SP’s Lemon Curd”

  1. Tonio

    Free Curdistan! Oh, wait…

    Nice layout and recipe, SP.

  2. Spudalicious

    I love a good lemon Kurd. Especially the one with the dark eyes and long hair.

    1. Rebel Scum

      lemon Kurd

      I don’t get it at home but it is nice to eat out.

      1. Don’t worry, we won’t tell your wife.

      2. CPRM

        I love to eat Chinese, but I’ll never touch the food, right!? *High Five Freeze Frame*

        1. AlexinCT

          High five indeed!

  3. Akira

    Thanks! I’ll have to save this. I’ve been wanting to try my hand at a lemon meringue pie for a long time.

    Is orange curd pretty much the same thing?

    1. Spudalicious

      I would play with the sugar level when using oranges.

    2. Tonio

      Who doesn’t like a nice Merengue?

        1. Tres Cool

          Merengue ?

          Oh…who’s got 2 thumbs and finally got power back

          *this guy*

          1. Tonio

            Hooray for electricity, TC.

          2. MikeS

            That’s great, Tres. Godspeed getting the beast back down to proper drinking temp.

          3. Gender Traitor

            Glad for ya! Not holding our breath for ours coming back any time soon. Harrison Twp. is the redheaded stepchild of the Miami Valley.

          4. Tres Cool

            *cough*
            Jugsy’s ghetto estate is in your area.

            I could almost cry genuine tears about the Little Caesars…..by God, that stuff has its place
            And wasnt Living Room already shut down over that pesky prostitution/food stamps/drugs mess ?

          5. Gender Traitor

            Can’t remember if it was the Living Room or one of the (many) other titty bars. Too many along the Dixie Strip to keep track. Waiting for some local Rev to call it God’s wrath.

          6. Tres Cool

            We should plan an ersatz meetup sometime. Specially since Rooster’s closes the lobby at 6 now, due to the shootings in the parking lot…

          7. Gender Traitor

            The Roosters on Main? We’re just a couple miles up the road from there. Luckily, Mr. GT and I have CCWs.

          8. Tres Cool

            Fortune favors the bold….or something

          9. Spudalicious

            Welcome back to civilization!

          10. Tres Cool

            Thanks. Id post the video I took on Jugsy’s porch while an EF3 rolled right up her street, but I need to edit it out
            Its mostly her screaming “WOULD YOU GET IN THE HOUSE?”
            And me saying “HERE IT COMES!”

            As white trash as I am, I cant believe I didnt throw in “it really DOES sound just like a train!” at some point

          11. Gender Traitor

            If hers was the same one that passed just south of our place, it just got upgraded to an EF4! Woot woot! We RAWK!

          12. Rhywun

            Terrifying.

            Fun fact: I was apparently the only person in my neighborhood heeding the tornado warning I got on my phone the other day. Everyone else was coming and going in my building, wandering around the streets like nothing was afoot.

          13. Tres Cool

            I saw that on DDN, but I didnt want to brag….

          14. Spudalicious

            Raw footage, or gtfo.

          15. Tres Cool

            I need to learn how to c̵o̵d̵e̵ edit

          16. Akira

            Hey Tres and other S.W. Ohio Glibs:

            Did any of you happen to catch this moment on the local weather station?

            I cracked the hell up.

          17. MikeS

            Good on him.

            We had a weather man do kind of the opposite a couple years ago. He’d break in, immediately profusely apologize for the interruption, quickly talk about the storm (mostly ignoring the HUGE rural area outside the metro) and then get right back to the programming. Meanwhile, his competition stayed on air the entire time and actually warned people about the storms.

            The next storm, he stayed on air covering the storms until they passed.

          18. Tres Cool

            Oh yeah. Jamie ‘drunkard’ Simpson. Before he got fired from Channel 7, my ex (OG-2X-OG) used to run into him in Arrow Wine all the time. She said he always seemed like he was toasted.
            But yeah…he made his point.

          19. Count Potato

            Glad to hear it.

  4. Sean

    Nice pic.

    1. Tonio

      Someone has captured the elusive bokeh.

      1. MikeS

        *searches for “bokeh”*

        Ahh! I didn’t know that effect had a name or what it was. I can’t go a week (usually not even a day) without learning something here. Of course, I’ll forget it by this time tomorrow, but at least now I can say I used to know what it was called!

        1. Tonio

          It’s what the kids call it these days. Back in my day we used to call it depth of field control.

          Now stop twitching and lean back into the neck support before I take off the lens cover to start the exposure.

          1. Back in my day we used to call it depth of field control.

            Thats what I know it as, but I learned how to operate my camera by reading the manual.

          2. Hey, I’ve only gotten as far as figuring out how the manual focus works. At least now when I disagree with the camera, I can refocus it on what I want it to look at.

          3. Speaking of using manual focus on my phone, anybody know what this bug is?

            It looks and acts mostly like a crane fly, but it has those striped legs.

          4. Nvm, answered my own question. It’s a phantom crane fly.

          5. Your phone has manual focus? I was talking about my Rebel T7. It’s easier to aim and trigger, and takes better pictures.

          6. Yep, Galaxy Note 8 has a pro mode that does manual focus and other settings. Not quite as good as my Nikon DSLR, but it’s nice to have.

          7. Huh. I should not be surprised that some phones have that.

          8. SP

            There is much better photo software for iPhones than what they ship with the phone. The hardware is good, the software sucks. (Although, this lemon curd photo was just snapped with their crappy interface.)

            Pick up Obscura, Slow Shutter, VSCO. All very good for different purposes. Oh, and you can get some really nice depth of field effects with After Focus, after you’ve snapped the image.

            The kids talking about bokeh, btw, use it interchangeably with depth of field, but it’s not technically correct.

            I just quickly did this with After Focus in about 10 seconds. (I’d clean it up if it were any other purpose than an example.) The original was in focus all the way back.

            Hummingbird feeder

          9. mikey

            I hate that word. I associate with sort of “photographer” that’s spends all their time obsessing about equipment and can’t take a decent snapshot.

      2. SP

        You guys remember I’m a professional photographer, right? This was just a snapshot with my phone.

        If it weren’t doxxing myself, I’d link you to some outdoor portraits I’ve done utilizing the circular bokeh of greenery for the background.

        1. Sean

          Pretty accomplished for a preteen.

          ?

          1. Count Potato

            Maybe she’s Soph.

        2. Tonio

          You guys remember I’m a professional photographer, right?

          Oops, ummm… I thought you were a web design guru.

          And don’t dis the phone snapshot. You can (obvs) do quite decent work with a phone cam for web publication as long as you know what you’re doing wrt composition, etc. I use my GoPro when I need an armored camera that I don’t really care about, and my Sony Alpha when I have the luxury to fuss with composition, lighting, etc.

          1. Old Man With Candy

            Oops, ummm… I thought you were a web design guru.

            She’s that as well. Oh, and a marketing consultant. And a finance wiz. And a pro-level baker and chef. Did I mention the EMT/firefighter cert?

            I married a Super Woman.

          2. SP

            *rolling eyes*

          3. Tundra

            You’re the female Buckaroo Banzai?

          4. Old Man With Candy

            I bet that now you regret snubbing her.

          5. Tundra

            Still that?

            Of course I do. The irony is that she suggested the solution.

        3. Count Potato

          “You guys remember I’m a professional photographer, right?”

          I had no idea. I thought you were in medicine.

          1. MikeS

            #metoo

          2. Not Adahn

            Actual surgeons don’t use rusty can lids.

  5. Timeloose

    You are describing my favorite desert. Mrs. Time makes this with a buttery tart crust.

    1. I prefer the Sahara.

      1. MikeS

        Mojave or GTFO

        1. We had a blow-out in the Mojave in the middle of the night, and spent the entire next day at the Ford dealership in Las Vegas getting the van fixed. Las Vegas by day, circa 1978, was thoroughly unglamorous.

          1. blackjack

            I loved Vegas when it was strictly for grown ups.

    2. SP

      Yep. I often do. It makes a really nice presentation for dinner party desserts as tartlets with the berries on top. I was pressed for time the other day, however.

    3. Spudalicious

      For some reason, I read that as “Mrs. Time is a buttery tart”. And I thought, “good for you”.

      1. Timeloose

        there is that as well.

  6. Rebel Scum

    Where’s the beef whey?

  7. mikey

    Mmmmm. Love lemon curd. Berries are on sale and on the shopping list for tomorrow. I’ve just added lemons.

    1. Raphael

      That’s a hot shit take.

  8. MikeS

    Wow. This looks delicious, SP. I love lemon deserts. Will have to give this a try.

    1. LJW

      Paul making a push for another presidential run in 2024?

      1. Rebel Scum

        *”It’s happening” gif*

  9. BEAM’s not a team player

    Huh.

    Reminds me a lot of lemon posset (although possets don’t use eggs).

    https://www.cooksillustrated.com/articles/173-introducing-lemon-posset

    1. SP

      Yes. Also exceedingly delicious. Alas, I had no cream, but a surplus of eggs.

  10. mikey

    The share thingies at the bottom are nice. One for printing would be nicer still. Yeah, I know I’m already getting way more than I paid for.

    1. SP

      I usually have a print button on recipes, but my machine was not working when I wrote this post in haste from my phone!

      I’ll add one shortly.

      1. SP

        Not my usual nice PDF layout, but a good and easy button added for now.

        1. mikey

          Thanks. Y’all run a really classy joint here.

          1. SP

            Updated with a better Print Recipe option on lower left.

          2. mikey

            Thanks again. I started to mention having to delete all the comment pages before saving. Didn’t want to push my luck.

  11. Tonio

    Obligatory boobies link.

      1. Tonio

        Perky!

      1. Tonio

        Nice. Why I love this place.

      2. Plinker762

        You scratched my anchor!

    1. LJW

      I’m curious if this could backfire on the Democrats. Might bring more Republicans to the polls in states where they normally stay home. Possibly flipping some seats.

      1. creech

        There’s probably some red states where Dems stay home.

    2. Florida Man

      Did you see it’s demonitized already. I didn’t see anything offensive.

      1. Sir Digby (PBUH)

        Uhhh…Yeah, I did see that. Why don’t you tell the others here how to spot that, just so they now how, for future reference.

        /your you’re so good with words

        1. Sir Digby (PBUH)

          *know

          /mothe$*@+%….

  12. Florida Man

    8 egg yolks (reserve the whites for another use, if desired)

    Pisco Sours.

    Also, I fucking hate credit card fraud. How do they steal my CC info when I have the card in my wallet?!?

    1. Sean

      Russians, dude. Russians.

      Duh.

    2. Rebel Scum

      reserve the whites

      White-supremacy knows no bounds.

    3. mikey

      Just had ours hacked. Someone started charging mundane, low-dollar stuff to our card at Walmart. Funny part is they had some of it shipped – to our house.

      Some truly ugly shoes and matching socks.

    4. BEAM’s not a team player

      How do they steal my CC info when I have the card in my wallet?!?

      I don’t know about you, but it used to be that EVERY SINGLE TIME we traveled to France and used a particular credit card (*cough*CIBC VISA*cough*) we’d get that CC compromised within days of returning home. Whatever they were doing for security, it wasn’t working. We’ve since switched to cash and/or AMEX (if the place in question takes it).

      1. LJW

        I worked in credit card fraud investigations
        at a bank for a couple years. Fraudsters have various methods of getting your info. The most common I saw were skimmers, compromised websites and compromised business payment systems.

        1. blackjack

          Wife got jacked with the double swipe thing once. Keep your eyes on your card. They will swipe it through a cloning machine after your regular purchase and make a fake card. They still didn’t have the pin, so they bought a bunch of gas (where you dont need a pin.)

    5. Count Potato

      I use a wallet that blocks low and high frequency, RFID, BLE, and NFC scans.

      1. Timeloose

        My wife purchased one of those for me. She knows me well. It only lasted a year However. It was made of SS mesh.

        1. Count Potato

          Mine is leather. So far it hasn’t shown any signs of wear.

      2. Timeloose

        Every time I used my card in NYC at a restaurant I had weird charges a few months later.

        I haven’t had any since the chip was added.

        1. Rhywun

          Yeah, letting your card out of your sight is just asking for trouble – thanks for the heads-up.

          I had something similar but it wasn’t a restaurant, I suspect it was an ex-friend.

  13. Rhywun

    OT: Found this linked at the Human Events article someone posted, but I thought the NYT link would be more fun.

    Apparently, not to be outdone by Morrissey, another old English fart has wandered off the reservation.

    1. Tres Cool

      Paywalled (or they dont like my AdBlock) but I saw that headline earlier.
      Cant say I disagree.

      1. Rhywun

        Here‘s the first one I read. Different slant to it.

      2. Rhywun

        they dont like my AdBlock

        Use uBlock Origin instead. It’s been more effective for me.

        1. MikeS

          OK. I’ll try it. But if I don’t like it I expect you to cover my membership fee.

          1. Rhywun

            No prob!

  14. egould310

    This sounds delicious and the photo really sells it. Thanks for sharing.

    1. SP

      You’re welcome.

  15. egould310

    You know where to get lemons? From a Lemon Tree.

    https://youtu.be/J1FP1NKNMOw

    1. Tres Cool

      Watch out for those lemon stealing whores

      1. blackjack

        HAH! That chick wanted to film a girl-girl scene in my bike shop. She is tiny. Like maybe 4’10”. Pretty cool, but she called it off for some reason.

        1. Tres Cool

          Joann Angel? Or the girl with a mouth like a carp ?

          1. blackjack

            No, Joanna Angel. Tiny little jewish chick. Very cool. Lotta tats.

  16. Bookmarked for when I get to the end of the “I hate myself” diet.

    Relatedly, we got our first ripe raspberries of the season today. Puts the grocery store berries to shame. It’s looking like a bumper crop this year!

    1. Old Man With Candy

      That’s some sunny news.

      1. RAHeinlein

        +1 Dersh and Cramer

      2. Wow, I have to tell my wife. When she was in grade school in NYC her best friend was Klaus and Sunny’s daughter Kozma (sp?) She has memories of both parents prior to the insulin coma, but didn’t see her friend’s family again after the big sleep started.

  17. Timeloose

    OT alert:

    Are there any Glibs in the Indianapolis area? My wife and I will be there for a 4 days in July. I would be interested in a meetup or just some tips for food, live music, and fun.

    I plan on seeing if th Slippery Noodle still has live blues every night of the week.

    1. I haven’t been back in a few years, but Broadripple was still a hoppin place on a Friday night. I crave Yats. Suthen may poo-poo it, but it’s the best creole food this Midwestern boy has had.

      1. Trashy, Suthen will poo-poo any food made outside his bayou, so don’t worry so much.

      2. Timeloose

        Thanks. I’m sure it’s changed a lot in 25 years.

  18. kinnath

    I prefer to use my lemons in booze:

    kinnath’s lemon mead:

    1 dozen small lemons zested and juiced
    1 gallon fine honey
    5 gallons of water
    6 tsp yeast nutrient
    1 package Wyeast 1318 London III ale yeast

    Mix everything into a primary and pitch the yeast

    After 2 to 3 weeks, rack into a secondary and add 1 1/2 oz french oak cubes

    After 2 to 3 months, rack into a tertiary add 1 quart of honey; 1/4 potassium metabisulfite; 1 tsp potassium sorbate; and 1 package of SuperKleer fining agent

    After 1 to 2 months, rack into a couple of kegs and force carbonate

    Chill and serve.

    1. SP

      I’d drink that! (I love limoncello, too.)

      1. Timeloose

        The mobile site is acting buggy to night. It keeps me from seeing the last few posts

        1. SP

          Last few posts (what articles are actually called) or last few comments? Hmm.

          Working OK on both my ios devices and my Android. What device are you using for access?

          1. Timeloose

            Comments

          2. Timeloose

            Apple iOS

  19. AlmightyJB

    Yum:) Thanks!

    1. Rebel Scum

      That’s what she said.

  20. This reminds me a little bit of zabaglione. Sounds good.

    1. Old Man With Candy

      Spud and I used to make a dessert that had lengthwise quartered figs opened like a flower, then topped with blueberries, served on a French version of zabaglione (sabayon) made with Muscat de Beaumes de Venise.

      It’s been a while- I need to try that again.

      1. Spudalicious

        Ethereal. That’s one of the dishes that I can instantly conjure up for several different senses.

  21. Lemon curry?

  22. commodious spittoon

    I had a real WTF moment at work today. It was like waking up from being awake, but waking up somewhere you don’t remember going to sleep. I looked up from my monitor and for about thirty seconds everything was strange and unreal. Left me disoriented and bewildered. I had to go stand in front of a urinal pretending to piss to calm down and get my bearings back.

    1. Tres Cool

      +1 absence seizure

      1. BEAM’s not a team player

        Fugue state.

        1. Tres Cool

          Toccata and ?

          1. Rhywun

            That’s not the “best version” I’ve ever heard. I want my money back.

          2. Spudalicious

            With interest, I assume?

          3. slumbrew

            I’m Romanian, so everytime I enter a room this starts playing

            Pie, is that you?

      2. Count Potato

        As far as I know, people with absence seizures generally don’t notice them.

        1. blackjack

          Are you telling me I might be having these all the time? That explains everything I’ve ever not wanted to cop to.

    2. Timeloose

      Are you sure you didn’t end up in an alternate time line? Quick what year was Nixon assasinated?

    3. Akira

      I’ve had little moments like that before. It’s wack.

      Another weird thing was when I was working at this factory on a really fast-paced assembly line… I had been doing the same motions for several hours uninterrupted, and all of a sudden it felt like I was not in control of my actions but was just watching a point-of-view video. It was strange.

  23. Timeloose

    OT: I’ll be in Lake George NY and the rest of the Adirondacks next week and weekend as well. I’ll be straffing corners on my bike.

    1. Lake George is a bit north from where I usually haunt, and well, you picked a week I’m out of town.

      1. Timeloose

        Saratoga Springs correct ?

        1. No, I’m Albany proper. Saratoga Springs is a half hour north of me. Lake George a little past that.

          1. Sir Digby (PBUH)

            I’m Albany proper

            Ah! So, you know “steamed hams”. Very nice…

          2. Pan Zagloba

            Another proof of ‘best timeline’ is that this became a meme pushed by people who were at best in diapers when the episode aired.

          3. Sir Digby (PBUH)

            Meh…I was (almost) 25, and, I’d like to think I was late to the game getting in on it.

            OK, the Aurora Borealis part. I’ve been working on my Chalmers voice.

    2. l0b0t

      Lake George is AWESOME! One of wifey’s professional organizations holds their yearly conference at The Sagamore during the off-season. A great resort that is made even greater by being damn near empty in October.

  24. Raphael

    That lemon curd looks wonderful, thanks for the recipe. I got a few cookbooks for just meals but got absolutely nothing for desserts.

    1. blackjack

      So, no just desserts?

      1. Raphael

        *narrows gaze*

        I like this one. You go last.

    2. SP

      You’re welcome.

  25. blackjack

    This looks delicious. I love desserts that are fruit heavy. Next time the lemon tree bears some more, Imma try this. Thanks.

    1. SP

      You’re welcome.

  26. Not an Economist

    A school security camera caught a tornado.

    I lost power for about a minute during the storm… it was awful.

  27. Tundra

    Beautiful! A lot of sugar, but hey, you only live once, right?

    …or it reaches 190F

    I have grown to love temperature-based instructions.

    Thanks, SP!

    1. SP

      You’re welcome. This is obviously not an everyday dessert.

      1. Tundra

        Yeah. You gotta have strawberry rhubarb pie some nights.

        1. MikeS

          You gotta have strawberry rhubarb pie some nights.

          Damn straight. With a couple scoops of rhubarb sauce covered ice cream.

          1. commodious spittoon

            I know I like rhubarb but I couldn’t describe it besides tangy. No idea when I last had any. But it was certainly tasty.

          2. Akira

            I’ve never tasted rhubarb except in cocktail bitters (I bought the Fee Brothers set of 8 little bottles of different flavors).

            I do imagine that some kind of rhubarb beverage would be intensely refreshing on a summer day. Sometimes I just mix the rhubarb bitters with club soda and drink it on the back patio.

          3. MikeS

            My mom used to make rhubarb juice. We’d mix it with ginger ale. Man was that refreshing on a hot summer day. I haven’t had it since I was a kid, but I bet it would be a great cocktail base.

          4. Tundra

            My grandmother made strawberry rhubarb pie for me every birthday. She had an amazing garden, she was an amazing cook and I am a summer birthday.

            Deadly combination.

            We also made ice cream quite often. Old school. Your arms got tired but the ice cream was so fucking good.

            *wistful*

          5. l0b0t

            Oh man, that takes me back. When I was wee, we would visit my great-grandparents up in Sebring. G-grandma would spend all morning churning lemon ice cream from the fruit from her yard trees. Delicious.

          6. SP

            Rhubarb custard or straight rhubarb pie? I had a great friend from NoDak who LOVED rhubarb custard pie. I always made one for his birthday.

          7. MikeS

            Yes.

            Actually, I’ve never had rhubarb custard. I’d love to see your recipe for that. I love everything rhubarb. So much so that I hate it when people “ruin” it with strawberries. (no offense to your grams, Tundra)

          8. Tundra

            No offense taken, man. I’m not sure anyone else in the family liked it as much as me.

            That’s what grandma’s are for!

          9. CPRM

            My rhubarb went unused for over a decade, I don’t bake or even usually eat sweets/baked goods. Then my aunt started talking about buying some rhubarb and I said, I’ll just give you some of mine. She’s made rhubarb pie the last couple years.

          10. CPRM

            Also, I’ve seen things about how hard rhubarb can be to grow. lol, like I said it’s been there since I was a kid, I had never done anything with it since I moved in, doesn’t seem that hard to me.

          11. Tundra

            Growing it it easy. Getting rid of it is the trick. I’m convinced that nuking it from orbit is the only solution.

          12. MikeS

            Yeah, I think cockroaches and rhubarb would be the only things left after a nuclear holocaust.

          13. straffinrun

            Bernie would survive a nuclear holocaust.

          14. SP

            And horseradish.

          15. pistoffnick

            MikeS,

            Come to Duluth in late June: https://www.chumduluth.org/rhubarbfestival.htm

            I used to volunteer my time to chop up rhubarb for it. I mean we’d chop 1,000 to 1,200 lbs of the stuff.
            The rhubarb wine is good. Rhubarb bratwurst are good. But the rest of it? You can have it

          16. MikeS

            That looks excellent! I will keep it in mind. I’m always looking for new excuses to visit Duluth, and this is a good one.

          17. Fourscore

            Rhubarb is ready here, in case UCS stops by

          18. I’m still planning to. I just got up, so I’m not underway yet.

      1. Tundra

        Love that one.

        Kissy Suzuki was a solid wood.

        1. egould310

          I’m stuck in a pagoda with Tricia Toyota https://youtu.be/iYvt4I52wgQ

  28. Timeloose

    It’s been raining so much I have frogs croaking outside. There’s no body of water any where nearby.

  29. CPRM

    Good thing I checked my e-mail, now I start work 4hrs earlier than expected. That would have fucked up some shit. Yeesh.

  30. l0b0t

    SP, this looks amazing . Thanks for sharing the recipe.

    1. SP

      You’re welcome.

      1. commodious spittoon

        Like Lorde, but hot.

          1. commodious spittoon

            LOL

            Never saw that. Nice.

          2. MikeS

            Exactly what I hoped it would be. Funny stuff.

          3. CPRM

            Deliverer of hopes, dreams and nightmares. I signed that compact in blood when I started working with SF.

    1. CPRM

      People see see things they can’t identify, THEREFORE ALIENS!

  31. CPRM

    Heard some Disturbed on the radio today, man are they tame now. Listened to that rock station for an hour and nothing on there was any heavier than a pop song with a guitar riff. I play country songs with faster rhythms.

    1. David Draiman got married and stopped whoring.

      1. Sir Digby (PBUH)

        Maybe he’s just not quite so angry any more.

        I like the first couple of Disturbed albums well enough, but, I don’t have a dog in the fight.

        1. CPRM

          Just mentioning Disturbed, they started going soft already on their second album, but I was amazed at how tame all the music was on that station while I was in range to get it.

          1. Sir Digby (PBUH)

            That’s just one reason why I only leave XM for my music flash drive

          2. CPRM

            The phone I have doesn’t seem to recognize the artist-album tags on most of my ripped music, so when I play it in the car it’s hard as hell to navigate. So I mostly use it to listen to Andrew Heaton’s podcast and still have my CDs, makes me feel so damn old and obsolete, but you can’t even buy an MP3 player anymore, which never had a problem with artist-album tags, not to mention longer battery life.

          3. Sir Digby (PBUH)

            ::quietly pushes cd case under passenger seat::

    1. CPRM

      Obviously satire, will be fact checked tomorrow by Snopes.

    2. Sir Digby (PBUH)

      ::Looks to see if ‘it’ is listed::

      Hmm….. Nope–looks like masturbation is still modern enough. You may carry on with your emission, Q.

    3. Rhywun

      Instead of pulling out chairs for women, pull a woman’s arm out of its socket.

      LOL and that’s just #1

      1. Rhywun

        OK, that was the best one but still A for effort.

  32. CPRM

    A few weeks ago I got carded buying my beer, made me feel good. Yesterday I accidentally took some booze through a self check-out and had to have the teenager standing around supervising OK it, I see “Is the customer under forty” pop up on screen and without asking she taps ‘no’…

    1. Sir Digby (PBUH)

      I knew it….ONE OF US! ONE OF US!

      1. CPRM

        No shit, I never had a white hair before, I turn 36 and all of a sudden they start popping up. In a few years I’ll be able to make a good living as a mall Santa I guess, I just have to find a mall that isn’t closed.

        1. Rhywun

          I don’t even get a second look any more. “I look young for my age” doesn’t mean much when you turn 50, I suppose.

          1. Sir Digby (PBUH)

            Well, as important as alcohol may, or, may not be to your life, store clerks are a poor standard for judging your youth. What with all the legislation making them skew their choices older.

            In other words, you’re most likely doing well for a glib. 😉

          2. Rhywun

            True. When I was a clerk a few centuries ago, we were told to card anyone who looked “under 30”. It’s probably “under 40” now. But I should pass for around 40, dammit. When I shave my head. Of luxurious, if gray, hair.

          3. Sir Digby (PBUH)

            But I should pass for around 40, dammit.

            Now, I want a t-shirt that says, “I pass for white”.

            Hilarity would obviously ensue.

          4. Rhywun

            Or, “I pass for straight”.

          5. CPRM

            Sir Digby Approved?

          6. Sir Digby (PBUH)

            The hell is that weird, moon-man language???

            Also, I should probably skip that shirt, Rhy. No need to start shit with the Mrs.

          7. Rhywun

            Nah, that shirt is for me. Perfect for Pride Parades I don’t attend any more.

          8. Sir Digby (PBUH)

            Rhy, envisioning that scenario is one of the best laughs I’ve had coming straight from you. And, that’s considering your extensive humor here.

            Kudos!

          9. CPRM

            Hell, I don’t even get a first look anymore, from guys or gals (the gals are my preference). Although, going into the store the other day this woman did some kind of odd dance as I approached her, I nodded and said hello, I had confuse.

          10. Sir Digby (PBUH)

            In a liquor store? Hey–dancing and drinks!

          11. CPRM

            Every store in Wisconsin is a liquor store, you ferners are so precious.

          12. Sir Digby (PBUH)

            Every store in Wisconsin is a liquor store

            You mean, when you’re there, right?

            /Hey-ooooh!

          13. CPRM

            I mean, seriously, hey sell beer at the local hardware store, I marvel t places where that isn’t common. Fucking prudes.

  33. Sir Digby (PBUH)
    1. Chafed

      Wrapping a scarf around your head doesn’t mean you are wrapping a Sikh turban. Self-righteous idiots are… idiots.

      1. CPRM

        They’re appropiating Johnny Quest!

        1. Sir Digby (PBUH)

          Race Bannon will show them what-for

          1. Chafed

            Don’t watch Venture Brothers reruns if Race is still alive in your mind.

          2. Sir Digby (PBUH)

            Are you kidding, I live for VB. In fact it was that version I envisioned when I wrote that, regardless of continuity.

            /big #21/Gary fan
            //Hench 4 Life

      2. Sir Digby (PBUH)

        Those are assholes that are actually waiting for the next offense to occur.

        It’s to our benefit that they are as stupid as they are, even if they still get the franchise.

        1. Chafed

          Absolutely. And they start by assuming an act or statement is offensive. There are no innocent explanations.

    1. Sir Digby (PBUH)

      Is that a Coulier reference?

      1. CPRM

        No, if anything it would be a Mark Summers joke. But really, it’s connected somewhere in my brain to having a cold runny nose.

        1. CPRM

          In case you didn’t get the Mark Summers bit.

          1. Sir Digby (PBUH)

            Yeah, never saw it.

        2. Sir Digby (PBUH)

          if anything it would be a Mark Summers joke

          That might explain my cluelessness. That, and other stuff.

    1. Sir Digby (PBUH)

      Alas, I fear that the popcorn will end up being the most filling part of that.

      1. Chafed

        I’ll make a prediction. Either the feds indict the DA or she doesn’t run for reelection because of the bad publicity.

        1. Sir Digby (PBUH)

          Forget it, Chafed–It’s Chi-town.

    1. Sir Digby (PBUH)

      What in–sham-wowing? Lackey selection?

  34. Sir Digby (PBUH)

    Caution: Jargon ahead.

    tl; dr–word salad

    1. Rhywun

      This is why Apple Stores’ policy is to let actual shoplifters waltz away.

      1. Sir Digby (PBUH)

        You make me regret owning an Ipad. Not that I plan on ever going to an Apple store. Unless….

        1. Rhywun

          Meh – it’s a smart business decision. Built-in losses in exchange for not having to deal with this kind of BS.

          1. Sir Digby (PBUH)

            I really want to argue against that thinking. However, I know it’s, at least, the new normal. I’m not sure I’m convinced it’ll stop any company with the same policy from engaging in this kind of BS. Then again, I don’t have to patronize, either, so, yeah.

          2. Rhywun

            Realpolitik strikes again.

          3. Sir Digby (PBUH)

            Heh…

          4. Scruffy Nerfherder

            Either way every other customer has to pay for it.

            I hate thieves.

    1. “do you have any firearms?”
      “no! Guns are icky!”

      Every. Time.

  35. Sir Digby (PBUH)

    So…..Fleccas: Yea, or, Nay? I like him, and give him kudos for being an on-scene chronicler of things. But, He’s focused so much on Trump that it starts to look cult-of-personality-ish.

    I’m not gonna commit to that for him just yet. I think he does a lot of good. But, in my personal struggle to avoid praising political actors unduly, his recent videos kinda…well, trigger that warning light.