Saturday Morning Links In Absentia

As you read these, SP and I are already out of the house and heading north on a road trip. Yahweh bless the “schedule” function in Word Press. So behave yourselves, since we’ll be back and you do NOT want to piss her off. /nervously glances at her rusty tin can lid collection

Some interesting birthdays today, including the co-author of my favorite book on gravitation and relativity; my favorite punk rocker; the recipient of Harry Tuttle’s largesse; a popular wizard; someone described as “America’s Favorite Sheriff” but whom I will always think of as Will Stockdale; the person who actually was America’s Favorite Sheriff; and someone described by the great songwriter Greg Brown as “so tired, so tired, so tired.”

Onward and upward to the news.

 


 

Of course they waited until after I left. Timing is not my gift.

 

Isn’t this a character on Veep? Oh yeah, Sherman Tanz.

 

It’s fortunate, given the shit-smearing tendencies of their kids, that Sloopy and Banjos aren’t renting.

 

FUCK THAT SHIT! PABST! BLUE! RIBBON!

 

I can’t see how this could possibly be constitutional, but given these two, that will be no impediment.

 

This is so funny and so wrong on so many levels.

 

Secret Nazi Base. Heinlein was right!

 

Obvious jokes aside, I’m not sure that the Ick Factor should be the basis for law.

 

Now this was unintentionally interesting:

“Statistics show that since 1982, the majority of mass shootings — 54 percent — were committed by white men,” Newsweek reported while citing statistics on mass shootings compiled by Mother Jones. “Black people were the second largest perpetrators of mass shootings based on ethnic background, but only accounted for roughly 16 percent of the total incidents during the same time period.”

So putting aside the likely mendacity in how “mass shooting” is defined by Mother Jones and Newsweek, if there was absolutely no correlation of mass shooting with race, these are pretty much the kind of numbers you’d expect to see. Huh.

 


 

Old Guy Music today is a delightful song from a band that, in a just world, would be more popular than Jesus.

Comments

238 responses to “Saturday Morning Links In Absentia”

  1. Scruffy Nerfherder

    It’s pouring here. All of the local news is unsurprisingly covering the shooting.

    No word on the identity of the shooter except that he was a disgruntled employee.

    1. Scruffy Nerfherder

      Sucks all around. The guy definitely had a good idea of what he was doing and was systematically going thru the building.

      I guarantee Northam is going to try to use this to resuscitate his gun-control efforts and his governorship.

    2. Hyperion

      You watch the local news? Like on a TV? You bullshit tolerance is way higher than mine. So what’s the new scariest ever drug sweeping the nation?

      1. MikeS

        Alcohol

        1. Hyperion

          Meh, that’s so last week. When has alcohol ever turned anyone into a face eating zombie, or a crocodile? A face eating zombie crocodile.

          1. R C Dean

            When has alcohol ever turned anyone into a face eating zombie

            *drifts off into fond remembrance of fraternity days*

  2. 54 percent — were committed by white men,” Newsweek reported while citing statistics on mass shootings compiled by Mother Jones. “Black people were the second largest perpetrators of mass shootings based on ethnic background, but only accounted for roughly 16 percent of the total incidents during the same time period.”

    Who committed the other 30 percent?

    1. Scruffy Nerfherder

      (((Them)))

    2. Akira

      I just found it odd that they went out of their way to make sure everyone knows that most shootings are committed by wypipo.

      Imagine if a white drug dealer shot up some rivals on a street corner and the local news threw in a little paragraph about how this is juts an anomaly and most drug-related violence is committed by black people.

      1. Rhywun

        If by “odd” you mean “totally predictable”.

    3. Hyperion

      So, if 54% of these shooting were committed by wypipo, and wypipo are around 70% of the population, wouldn’t be correct to say that whypipo commit a smaller amount of these shooting, by proportion? While black people, who only comprise about 12% of the total population, but commit 16% of these shooting, are actually committing a greater proportion?

      I don’t think these statistics prove what they think they do. But then again, I’m not accusing anyone working for Mother Jones of being smart.

      1. J. Frank Parnell

        Math is a racist tool of white supremacy.

  3. straffinrun

    “The Swamp would hate it, but perhaps a chance for some bipartisan cooperation?” he asked.

    The Swamp will find a way to get money in the pockets of politicians they want to sway. No lobbyists? Fine. How about quarter million dollar speeches?

    1. Scruffy Nerfherder

      Quarter million dollar speeches? Never heard of such a thing!

      1. straffinrun

        I may not be up to date on the exchange rate.

      2. Sean

        Everyone in Congress will get a book deal and start a charity foundation.
        ??‍♂️

  4. straffinrun

    Plagiarizing Kelso. Wow. If you’re gonna plagiarize someone, I’d plagiarize Larry Dallas.

    1. Trigger Hippie

      I have heard before, from others(Kelso) and along with my personal beliefs, have shaped me into who I am as a man, a father, and leader.

      Yeah, Kelso inspiring your views via a Nickelodeon Kids Awards speech is kinda sad. Or creepy. Both, I guess.

  5. Scruffy Nerfherder

    Letters to the Local Rag: Trump Controls The Weather

    Since our president has asked Congress for money to rescue Midwestern farmers from the devastation his tariff spat with China has caused, when does he plan on asking Congress for money to help the communities that have been destroyed by flooding and tornadoes? The heartland of the country is deep red and his followers are hurting.

    1. straffinrun

      “But you bought Jimmy a bike for his birthday!” Government treating people like children and, whaddayknow, they act like children.

      1. Festus

        Agreed but I liked your avatar better when it was an indecipherable Overton chart.

        1. straffinrun

          Happy? Not sure if you can see him gripping his subway.

          1. Scruffy Nerfherder

            I have no idea what i’m looking at. Give us Little Kim back.

          2. Festus

            Better! I just find the GIF avatars distracting is all.

          3. straffinrun

            I hear ya.

          4. Festus

            Boing!

          5. Trigger Hippie

            Um, is your avatar wearing a strap-on?

            Sorry, I take a hard pass on pegging.

  6. l0b0t

    Haven’t even glanced at the lynx yet but wanted to say, OMWC, you are on fire today what with the Pat Boone and No Time For Sergeants. Thanks for those.

    1. Old Man With Candy

      Don’t know if you saw my reply to you about Veep in the dead thread, but if you liked The Thick of It, this will seem very familiar (both are Ianucci).

      1. l0b0t

        Thanks. Yes, I saw it and I will watch Veep this week. Also, now I want to watch The Cross And The Switchblade again.

  7. Tres Cool

    ‘sup

    1. Festus

      We “dine” hereabouts.

  8. Scruffy Nerfherder

    Letters to the Local Rag: As Long They Know We’re Serious, a Couple Hundred Thousand More Dead Ain’t No Biggie, Just As Long As They Know We’re Serious

    A radical Islamic country like Iran needs to understand the resolve of other civilized countries, like America. Iran makes no secret of their feelings for America and wants to wipe Israel off the face of the earth. Now I can attest that war is never a first option, but if the U.S. didn’t join other nations in fighting World War II, we all would be speaking either German or Japanese.

    1. Sean

      I need to finish watching the current season of the man in the high castle.

  9. Festus

    Thanks for bringing the obscure, Old Man! Of course you knew that this would happen…https://youtu.be/TzFxPEMXYIY

    1. Festus

      And this -https://youtu.be/AR0IDNl4ECc

          1. Festus

            Wow. Terrible.

  10. Fourscore

    The shooter had a machine gun pistol with one of the black buttons that you can push and it automatically puts in another 30 round clip. There should be a law.

    1. Drake

      I’m guessing “Municipal Building” = Gunfree Zone. The solution is obviously more gunfree zones.

      1. Donation Not Taxation

        “If gun[free zone]s are outlawed, then only outlaws will have gun[free zone]s!”

  11. Scruffy Nerfherder

    Letters to the Local Rag: My TV Runs On Unicorn Farts

    Kudos to Pure Silk for sponsoring our beloved LPGA golf tournament, to the volunteers who tirelessly support it and to the LPGA players who grace it. Jeers to Dominion Power for making the TV view of the James River absolutely hideous. Shame on you! If I had a choice, I would not buy my electricity from you.

    1. Scruffy Nerfherder

      For more stupidity on the same thing: https://www.vagazette.com/news/va-vg-dominion-transmission-line-0601-story.html

      Basically, a bunch of high end homeowners don’t like looking at the transmission lines across the river so they’re supporting “preservation” and “eco” groups in an attempt to get rid of them thru the courts. Along the way, every other penny ante bullshit scam artist has been in on the act looking for a payout from Dominion power, which they gotten to the tune of tens of millions of dollars.

      Meanwhile, if the towers come down, the rest of us are looking at brownouts at best.

      Every other option was a many times more expensive to deploy and more ecologically disruptive. Not that they really care about that.

      1. Drake

        Just disconnect those homeowners permanently on the firsr really hot day of summer. See how long they worry about the view.

      2. Rhywun

        Ah, the time-tested “environmental impact statement” nonsense.

  12. Scruffy Nerfherder

    Ric Flair released a video Friday to address the public for the first time since getting released from the hospital after undergoing surgery May 20.

    In the video, Flair said that it is a “miracle” he’s still alive:

    “The Nature Boy” also revealed that he had a $1.8 million hospital bill, adding, “Thank God for insurance.”

    1. Akira

      “The Nature Boy” also revealed that he had a $1.8 million hospital bill, adding, “Thank God for insurance.”

      I hate that there’s complete ignorance of the fact that healthcare prices are so high because the government has pushed everyone into insurance plans. They should have looked into the reasons that the normal market forces that push quality up and prices down (as they have with countless other consumer products) don’t seem to be in effect with healthcare.

      If you wanted to “increase access” for the low income people in any other market, and you proposed an analogue to what has been done in healthcare, people would (rightly) look at you like you’re fucking stupid.

    2. The Last American Hero

      Trump is Ric Flair’s persona IRL. Let’s review:

      Stylin’, – Check. He has his own brand of ties and those giant sports coats. Plus, the Hat, Plus the Hair!
      profilin’, – Check. See his rants on rapists, murderers, Mexcicans.
      limousine riding, jet flying, – Check and check.
      kiss-stealing, – not just kisses, he’ll grab pussies
      wheelin’ n’ dealin’ son of a gun! – as in “Art of the Deal”.

      Whether you like it or not, learn to love it, because its the best thing going. Wooooo!

    3. Hyperion

      “he had a $1.8 million hospital bill, adding, “Thank God for insurance.”

      He should be saying, thank Insurance for making $1.8 million hospital bills a thing.

  13. The Late P Brooks

    Craig Holman, who lobbies on ethics, campaign finance and lobbying on behalf of Public Citizen, told NPR that it is “heartening” that Cruz and Ocasio-Cortez moved to bridge the deep partisan divide.

    Speaking of people who should not be allowed to lobby…

    I wonder if anybody will point out the relationship between the size and scope of government power and the returns to lobbying.

    1. straffinrun

      Can’t have nuclear power cuz it’s too dangerous. Psychopaths in charge of every detail of your life? Cool.

    2. Raphael

      Nobody who has any effective influence will.

  14. The Late P Brooks

    Basically, a bunch of high end homeowners don’t like looking at the transmission lines across the river so they’re supporting “preservation” and “eco” groups in an attempt to get rid of them thru the courts.

    MUH VIEWSCAPE!

  15. Raphael

    Damn now I gotta stop drinking heineken and Dos Equis. Oh wait, I never drank them anyways.

    A bit off topic, but I missed the What We Were Threading thread and just wanted to mention I’ve been reading a bunch of Tom Woods’s e-books. Just finished his Politically Incorrect Guide to American History and am now working on his book on Bernie Sanders’s platforms.

    1. Raphael

      What We Were Reading* Thread.

      Good lord, me.

      1. Obviously, P Brooks wasn’t in the “What We Were Threading” thread.

    2. Akira

      I may have to check them out.

      I also discovered the Dave Smith “Part of the Problem” podcast through his occasional appearances on the Tom Woods Show. His recent episode about the Mueller report aftermath was fucking excellent.

  16. straffinrun

    Raptors’ Kawhi Leonard offered free penthouse, food for life to stay

    Dozens of restaurants and bars across Canada’s biggest city have joined the “Ka’Wine & Dine” initiative, which offers Leonard free food, rides and shop perks for life if he re-signs with the Raptors rather than depart for Los Angeles or some other U.S. basketball mecca.

    Who needs a $100m contract with LA or NY when you can get free poutine?

    1. Rufus the Monocled

      He’s not staying.

      I really wish we’d stop treating athletes/celebrities with excessive reverence like this.

      The guy is good but has the personality of this Advil I’m about to pop.

      1. straffinrun

        He reminds of Randy Moss. He doesn’t seem GAF about anything other than playing ball. I like him.

    2. Plinker762

      Maybe he prefers Hustler, either way with the internet now, I don’t think either would be much of an incentive.

  17. The Late P Brooks

    Infrastructure costs a lot of money, especially in New York.

    Where New York stands out is the massive price tags associated with proposed and actual new projects, and the delays and limitations of vision they impose on new construction. Second Avenue — perhaps the most appropriate corridor for a subway line in the United States that, as of 2016, did not have one — has taken nearly 100 years to go from proposed subway service to actual service and then only along a fraction of the planned route. Dense but unserved corridors in the outer-boroughs, like Utica Avenue in Brooklyn, are unlikely to see subway lines in your lifetime. They would simply be too expensive to build.

    The problem isn’t just megaprojects. Small projects are cost disasters too: New York now routinely spends $3 million or $5 million on freestanding public-park bathrooms, a situation that “has to change,” Mayor Bill de Blasio has said. And inflated costs are a major reason our subway system remains inaccessible to many people with disabilities. New York intends to spend $39 million per station for the next round of accessibility retrofits, which will add elevators and ramps to make stations accessible on a step-free basis. According to figures gathered by transit researcher Alon Levy, $39 million is double what it costs to make a station accessible in London, five times what it costs in Madrid, and 15 times what it costs in Berlin.

    Spending so much on individual projects is not just a waste of taxpayers’ money — though, of course, it is that. Needing to spend so much on the mundane has made it impossible even to imagine the sort of transformative transportation projects our peer cities have shown are possible. A truly transformative project — many miles of new underground rail lines through our city’s core, designed to allow us to increase the use of our existing suburban rail network and tie outlying districts closer together, giving us what they have in Paris — would be so expensive it’s barely worth discussing.

    I, for one, find this baffling.

    1. Rhywun

      *Ctrl-F “unions” – no matches found*

      Not wasting my time with this.

      Endless bottles of ink have been spilled on this stuff. Even the NYT admitted the real problem.

    2. Drake

      I expect NY and the West Coast cities to collapse into a blackhoklle singularity od taxes and expenses.

    3. Donation Not Taxation

      Part of requiring that spending be paid for by voluntary money is that spending be paid for (deals with debt problem). The other part is that the money is voluntary rather than by taxes or the two-step of borrowing and then making the payments with taxes. But then the bar for getting the money is higher than persuading a bureaucrat or politician to spend tax money (waste problem). Voluntary money is more moral (morality problem). For the United States, the national government could even do farm subsidies, Social Security, etc. without violating the old white slavers’ document with voluntary donations instead of taxes or borrowing on the credit of the United States (constitutionality problem).

  18. Rufus the Monocled

    Pippen should have taken his case to Judge Judy or The People’s Court.

    1. Sean

      Judge Faith.

  19. The Late P Brooks

    A theme with wildly expensive New York transit megaprojects — as seen with East Side Access, the Port Authority’s World Trade Center transit hub, and planning for Amtrak’s Gateway Program to add new rail tracks under the Hudson River — is that things go to hell when agencies have to work together. In practice, the MTA acts as a collection of fiefdoms. Even though these people are theoretically part of the same team, executives overseeing the MTA’s capital construction may lack the authority to boss around its operating agencies such as LIRR and NYC Transit. And even when the MTA’s internal units work constructively together, they are dependent on outside agencies like Amtrak to cooperate and make rights of way available for construction in a timely manner; when they don’t, which is frequent, expensive labor time is wasted.

    I’m thinking of a name…

  20. Trigger Hippie

    “Who would have ever thought that Dennis Rodman would be strengthening relations with North Korea, and Scottie ‘no tippin’ Pippen would be the crazy one suing little girls?” she said.

    Pippen filed the suit in a Broward County court in December 2018 alleging that Glazer and her husband defaced his Fort Lauderdale, Florida, home, causing more than $109,000 in damages.”

    In the May 2 amended complaint, the former Chicago Bulls player said the couple allowed their pets — a dog and a cat — to “urinate throughout the home, thereby causing permanent stains and unsanitary conditions.”

    ‘He also said they allowed mold to grow on the patio furniture, damaged the front gate and the home entertainment system and destroyed “countless cabinets and drawers.” In addition, Pippen accused Glazer and Woloshin of failing to pay the rent and utilities on time and stealing a Cuisinart knife set.’

    He’s not suing the a kid, he’s suing you guys for being bitch-ass parents.

    1. Rufus the Monocled

      Exactly. Something tells me they’re unattentive parents. We see that a LOT at the daycare.

      ‘Oh look! She’s so imaginative!’

      The other day I temporarily parked my car a little too off the sidewalk but not enough a normal person would go to walk through especially since it’s a wide street. The moments I went in to gather a couple of things to leave again I observed the neighbours walking with their kids. One of them on his scooter – because kids – did exactly that and gingerly went through. I held my heart because it’s a BRAND NEW Limited Edition car – and was stunned his (cute) mother would allow that. I never let my kid do anything remotely so silly. The handlebars alone could have scratched the car.

      Then I would have looked like the jerk if I had to get them to pay for damages. ‘But look my child. He’s soooo cute and bi-racial!’

      1. Trigger Hippie

        Yeah, kids will be kids and try almost anything that looks like fun or possibly could get them in trouble. But parents who deflect any responsibility away from them based on that premise just suck. It’s your job to keep your little Tasmanian Devils from fucking up the surrounding area. If you fail, pay up. Pretty simple.

        1. Rufus the Monocled

          Exactly. I wouldn’t have gotten angry at the kid. I would have question the parent’s judgment.

    2. mexican sharpshooter

      a Cuisinart knife set

      Cuisinart? C’mon Scottie you’re better than that. J.A. Henkles or GTFO.

  21. Rufus the Monocled

    I don’t see the problem with the video about McMarxist from the Bronx. What the frick is Heineken going on about? Another beer I won’t drink – not that it’s a go to.

    I bet you she likes Castro and her GND would lead to mass death and starvation. That illiberal totalitarian tart absolutely is an enemy of freedom.

    I hope the Fresno baseball team just says buh-bye and finds a new sponsor.

    1. straffinrun

      Little kid sees naked emperor, “But, AOC is an enemy of freedom.”

      1. Straffin’s new avatar ROX.

        And AOC *is* an enemy of freedom; the truth hurts.

        1. straffinrun

          It’s Duterte’s wife.

        2. Festus

          You do realize that Straff’s new avatar is rocking the shenis, don’t you?

          1. slumbrew

            I can’t not see that, once you pointed it out.

            Pass.

          2. Can’t really see; isn’t it just a strap on?

            I don’t even really care if it’s OEM equipment, as long as the new one is done well, it makes no difference.

            If it really is a tranny with original sausage still in place, that’s where I draw the line.

      2. J. Frank Parnell

        Little kid sees naked emperor

        No, that was just OMWC wearing his laurel wreath.

    2. Raphael

      Obviously it’s because it’s inciting hatred against a strong, powerful WoC they just can’t handle. Just ignore her illiberal and regressive policies.

  22. The Late P Brooks

    Of course, one barrier to granting the MTA more power is that the agency might use it to do something that someone who currently wields power doesn’t like. Megaprojects built in New York today are subject to extensive delays and costs imposed by community input, as with the requirement that all the excavation spoils from East Side Access be carted out via tunnel to Queens, avoiding disruption in midtown Manhattan but adding significant costs and delays to the project. Those costs and delays don’t just mean a longer wait for LIRR trains to roll into Grand Central; they impose opportunity costs that mean other projects don’t get built or proposed at all. A more empowered MTA would mean fewer costs like that, but it would also have to mean a reduction in the fetishization of community input. As a public that has chosen Jane Jacobs over Robert Moses, we would have to get more comfortable with the idea that sometimes things won’t be built exactly as we want them.

    Something something authoritarianism! enemies of democracy!

    1. Rhywun

      East Side Access

      Don’t get me started on that nonsense. Billions of dollars and decades of effort to shave 5 minutes off the daily commute of a few thousand Long Islanders. That fucking thing should have been laughed off the drawing board.

    1. SandMan

      A friend of my brother was adopted, when he was about 20 he found his biological sister. It was love at first sight, quite a scandal. They ended up just disappearing, probably moved to CA.

      1. Festus

        That… was disturbing. My Uncle’s brother got with his cousin. They were shunned. Nice people though and she was a 1970’s era smokeshow.

        1. Not an Economist

          My Uncle’s brother

          Uncle’s brother… um … so is that your Dad?

          1. R C Dean

            Or, another uncle.

          2. CPRM

            Or given the context of the story, Festus himself.

    2. Trigger Hippie

      Sometimes I shudder to think about what your browser history looks like.

    3. J. Frank Parnell

      Ah, Wikipedia, where an article about a scientific theory has an entire paragraph summarizing the criticisms put forth by noted scientist Amanda Marcotte.

    1. Raphael

      I see Demi Rose made their cut (3). 16 and 23 were my other go-to’s this time. Thanks as always, Mistah Q.

  23. AlmightyJB

    Expanding my vocabulary:
    HOP: Handmaiden of the Patriarchy
    Slave Paint: make-up
    Oppression Smear: make-up
    Rape Shoes: heels
    Also shaving head ok but shaving anything else harms Mother Gaia

    https://youtu.be/naqIMtzxqxQ?t=4m26s

    1. Tres Cool

      Wow….reminds me of a womyn’s studies major that used to be a technical writer in my office
      Of course she was an OSU grad

      1. AlmightyJB

        Hey Tres, how’s things going? Did that storm cause you any issues?

        1. Tres Cool

          Water/electric was out until Thursday night. Most of the damage around me was downed trees and such, maybe some shingles. Not too much structural.
          Other parts of Dayton were leveled. Me & Jugsy are quite fortunate.

          1. AlmightyJB

            I’m glad you and Jugsy are ok. Sounds like a rough week though I had heard there quite a bit of damage that way and that the pump station lost electric.

    2. Raphael

      Some good ol’ quality derpulary right there.

  24. straffinrun

    Don’t know the full story behind this, but “It’s a bucket!” made lol.

    https://www.reddit.com/r/iamatotalpieceofshit/comments/bsghvk/insecure_police_officer_abusing_power_by_calling/

    1. AlmightyJB

      Pigs gotta oink

    2. DrOtto

      Watched the video and it’s ridiculous. I also found it disturbing that my initial reaction was ‘just comply’, but then admired the man for sticking up for himself as more and more cops showed up, but wondered if it’s worth to die over house chores. Now I have to look up other articles to see if he was arrested/charged (I’m sure he was), because that will be even more infuriating. In the comments, the cop was allowed to resign, which just means he’ll move to a nearby department. It’s also a good thing the bucket wasn’t black and didn’t have one of those things that go up.

  25. So I rewatched the USS Callister episode of Black Mirror and I’m not sure I’m seeing the ethical problem. The “people” in the game, after all, are not real, they are simulations. Even if we accept the premise that they are fully conscious, actualized beings, he has no way of knowing; and there would be no expectation of him knowing.

    OTOH, murdering him on behalf of a simulated version of yourself seems obviously to be the real problem. I don’t know what I’m supposed to take away from it…

    Though I still love that series.

    1. egould310

      “I don’t know what I’m supposed to take away from it…” is exactly what you’re supposed to take away from it. Take Away https://youtu.be/JkZy9hzqVW8

  26. Stinky Wizzleteats

    I’m not aware of the conglomerate that owns Heineken’s politics but if they’re taking a stand against taking a political stand then I’m all for it. Just throw, catch, and hit the damn ball and shut the fuck up about political issues.

    1. Raphael

      You know…that is a good point I didn’t take into consideration.

    2. CPRM

      But, even without putting AOC in that video, the video is still politics and appears to not be a problem without that addition, so the team and the sponsors were ok with the politics until they weren’t. It was then the wrong politics.

    3. JaimeRoberto: Gentleman, Scholar, French Tickler

      Yeah, it’s stupid to compare AOC with Lil’ Kim and Castro. It’s like comparing every Republican president to Hitler. And it’s really stupid to do it at a baseball game.

      1. Donation Not Taxation

        To be fair to the Grizzlies, if AOC’s policy preferences were implemented in a hypothetical country, what score would it get on either the Human Freedom Index, Freedom in the World, Index of Economic Freedom, etc.?

        1. JaimeRoberto: Gentleman, Scholar, French Tickler

          I agree that her ideas would restrict freedom, but she’s still just a freshman in Congress. And it’s a damn baseball game. Shut up about politics and play ball.

  27. Tres Cool

    “Man allegedly hiding drugs in butt accidentally shoots himself in testicles”

    Someone should link to that

  28. Rufus the Monocled

    Once again, the comments in The Hill article don’t disappoint in its idiocy.

    What the hell?

    1. Festus

      What the Hill. Didn’t they used to be kInda sorta centrist?

    1. Tres Cool

      I just sent my buddy a link to Pat singing “Crazy Train”

    2. AlmightyJB

      Is there anyone whiter than Pat Boone:) lol

      1. egould310

        Jim Gaffigan?

        1. MikeS

          *Why is he so pale?*

        2. AlmightyJB

          Gaffigan is a riot.

      2. Edgar Winter?

      3. MikeS

        Hitler?

  29. The Late P Brooks

    It’s like welfare for rich people!

    When assessing these arguments, keep a close eye on the number of Republican officials or conservative policy-makers who revise their position on the Trump tax cuts in light of the data. If their true primary goal was to increase business investment, then the complete failure of a highly expensive program to achieve its stated goal would lead them to question their support. Why not cancel the Trump tax cuts and use the couple trillion dollars in lost revenue to fund a more effective growth-promoting policy?

    So far, the number of Republicans reassessing their support for the Trump tax cuts is, give or take, zero. What this suggests is that the alleged growth-incentivizing secondary effects of the plan were rationales, and the primary effect — giving business owners more money— was the hidden main goal all along.

    They are sending checks to rich people now?

    I like how he whines about the lack of an instantaneous change in behavior by people unwilling to make long term plans based on short term policy changes, and then proposes doing exactly what the private planners are worried about.

    “If they won’t do what we want because they’re afraid we’ll change the rules, let’s change the rules!”

    1. mexican sharpshooter

      …or perhaps they are not investing because of that other Trump policy—levying tariffs on products from our biggest foreign trade partners as part of foreign policy negotiations.

  30. Tundra

    Good morning!

    Students, Here’s A Plan To Solve Your Debt Problem (You Won’t Like It)

    I understand that your priorities for my money may differ from mine, but it being my money, my priorities should take precedence. Here is a short, partial list of things that I prioritize for my money over paying off your student loan debts:

    1. A lease on a sweet German sedan

    2. A delicious tri-tip sandwich

    3. A walk-in humidor

    4. Guns and ammo

    5. A pedicure for my wife

    6. A pedicure for me

    7. A pedicure for my fat corgi Bitey

    8. Literally anything else but your student loan debt

    1. Pine_Tree

      Related rant: my oldest is going off to college in August, and has his head screwed on very well, and we’re definitely not getting into loans, but yesterday they did orientation/registration. Well, the school’s assumption was that parents would attend, too. “Huh????” I bit the bullet and (especially with this being the first) went instead of asking Mrs. Tree to go. #1Son also thought the idea was stupid, but knows it’s the price to pay for registration, so we figured to just make a recon trip out of it just to see the school.

      Of course for the parent section, there’s a whole spiel on “Financial Aid”, and the administrative process makes it dang-near mandatory. It’s extra work NOT to do it. To the extent that they said to each student “everyone gets an email offering loans – you need to decline if you don’t want them”. To be fair, the Financial Aid Aide was also pretty snide about how it’s stupid for students to want fancy amenity-filled “on-campus apartments” (insert obvious sub-rant) instead of cheap dorms or sharing off-campus.

      1. Tundra

        Congrats!

        Or congrats?

        Spawn 1 just finished year 1. I don’t recall any financial aid pitch, but he is an out of stater. Doesn’t matter, anyway. Like you, we’re trying to avoid debt. Having a hard-working positive and motivated kid pursuing a solid degree makes it much more palatable.

        As far as luxury apartments for students, he just moved into a shitty little house with a couple other dudes, just as god intended.

        Good luck. It sucks not having them around, but it’s fun to watch them grow so quickly.

        1. Pine_Tree

          Congrats to you, too. We’re stuck in this first year with the “freshmen have to live on campus” requirement, but he at least got the cheap option – old “traditional” dorm room (2 guys in a plain concrete box, with a big group bath that the whole floor shares. And after freshman year, we’re hoping he can rent with a friend nearby or something.

          I’m foreseeing the suckage in yer last paragraph, too, but not actually having to confront it yet.

          1. Tundra

            I think living in the dorm year one is a good idea. A transition and plenty of schoolwork help. By the end of the year he was ready to GTFO.

            August was easy. Each subsequent visit sucks a little more than the last. It’s cool, though. This is what we trained them for.

          2. Pine_Tree

            Oh I agree on all that. Just a grump attitude about all the luxury and fat that my “fees” are paying for, and not totally looking forward to him being gone.

            He gets “the whole point of the last 18 years was to successfully launch” and is incredulous that some folks don’t get it.

            BRAG FOLLOWS: After finishing TIG this summer he’ll have done all his basic (not pipe, pressure, specialty) welding certifications, and could get a perfectly good job easily if he weren’t pursuing Engineering/Surveying. And after graduating he grabbed a rifle and drove off into the Cohutta wilderness to hunt hogs alone for a few days. Decided not to shoot when it woulda meant dragging one up a mountain in 90deg heat…

          3. Fourscore

            My two youngest grand daughters graduated a few days ago. One went to an on-line class and got a BA in Hospital Management (Whoda thunk) and started working (60K) in the same hospital where she was already working. Relatively low student debt, since she worked all the time.

            Her younger sister also worked but went on campus, got a BA in History/Ed and wants to teach. Also low debt, good thing ’cause I see a Starbucks career in the making. Strangely, that was the same degree profile I had, minus the debt part. “Don’t let a good education stand in your way of success” or as a friend said “Its a shame to waste a strong back”

          4. R C Dean

            Decided not to shoot when it woulda meant dragging one up a mountain in 90deg heat

            Feral hogs are destructive vermin. I’ve never not shot one when I had the chance, and I’ve never brought one out to butcher (mostly because where I’ve shot them was too damn far to drag their flea and lice infested carcasses).

          5. Heroic Mulatto

            got a BA in History/Ed and wants to teach. Also low debt, good thing ’cause I see a Starbucks career in the making.

            Why? There is a shortage of teachers.

          6. Tundra

            BRAG FOLLOWS

            That is an outstanding and legitimate brag!

    2. AlmightyJB

      Nice:)

    3. Raston Bot

      That was funny. So what is the argument for student debt relief?

      Anyone know if his books are any good?

      1. Tundra

        I read them. They are pretty much what you expect, but I enjoyed them. Great beach books.

      2. R C Dean

        So what is the argument for student debt relief?

        I believe it has three main points, which can be easily grasped by a two year old:

        (1) Its not fair.

        (2) I wanna.

        (3) Waaaah.

        1. AlmightyJB

          Buying votes with other peoples money.

    4. Heroic Mulatto

      Of course, Schlichter still expects taxpayers to feed his sacred cows.

    5. J. Frank Parnell

      paying off your student loan debts

      “OMG! We’re not asking you or anyone else to pay off our loans! We just don’t want to be forced to pay the money back!”
      /some idiot somewhere

    1. Scruffy Nerfherder

      The US has plenty of rare earth. China has just monopolized the development of the mines over the last 30 years. There’s no reason alternative sources can’t and shouldn’t be developed.

  31. The Late P Brooks

    Those goddam Nazis keep calling us traitors!

    “You have this new level of rhetoric talking about political opponents as ‘traitors’ who, in theory, would deserve the death penalty. The president of the United States has pushed this line. Who knows what are the long-term consequences of this, because it certainly ramps up the coarsening of our political culture.”

    Yeah, Trump is grinding democracy into the dust. When he cancels the elections in 2020, nobody who isn’t already in a concentration camp will even shrug their shoulders.

    1. Won’t matter since everyone who wasn’t killed off by Net Neutrality was wiped out by the tax cuts. There isn’t anyone left to vote except for feral dogs and cockroaches.

      1. CPRM

        Since everyone is dead, the Ds will win in a landslide!

        1. DrOtto

          Chicago rules rule!

    2. straffinrun

      Emboldened, Trump is going further. He alleges without evidence that the FBI committed treason, spied on his election campaign and tried to rob him of victory.

      Without evidence.

      1. Raston Bot

        The coup was treason. But it was IC-wide, not solely FBI.

    3. R C Dean

      talking about political opponents as ‘traitors’

      You mean, accusing the President of conspiring with foreign countries? That kind of talk?

  32. Raston Bot

    So that fucker in VA beach used a suppressor. Thanks a lot, asshole.

    There should be an awareness campaign that the bravest, greatest service these mass shooters could do for society is to suck-start their own Glocks and give the rest of us a break. The Japs had it right with their honorable death. I partially blame Christians for making suicide a damnable sin.

    1. Scruffy Nerfherder

      On the bright side, nobody will be able to reasonably claim that he didn’t pass a background check.

      1. Raston Bot

        Or waiting periods since the average wait right now is 300 days for a suppressor.

    2. CPRM

      From the Virginian Pilot:

      Bakhtiari wasn’t nervous until he heard the gunshots — lots of them, one round in quick succession. He said it sounded like an automatic weapon.

      “It was repeated, rapid gunfire,” he said. It sounded like it was coming from above or below him on the second floor or the basement, he said.

      After a few minutes — Bakhtiari doesn’t know how much time passed — the bullets stopped, but the fire alarm had been set off. And he could smell the gunpowder.

      He assumed it was over when he heard the fire alarm, but he and his co-workers didn’t know whether to evacuate or stay put, so they all came out of their individual offices and huddled together.

      Yeah, in that situation maybe wait out the fire alarm.

      1. Raston Bot

        Talk about being programmed.

      2. R C Dean

        they all came out of their individual offices and huddled together

        “Guys, there’s a mass shooter in the building! Let’s all get together in a big group and stand in the open!”

    3. MikeS

      And quit broadcasting their names. Name them once, early in the news cycle and then they are just “the shooter” after that.

      i.e. we should never read “Harris and Klebold”. Just “the Columbine shooters”.

    4. R C Dean

      So that fucker in VA beach used a suppressor.

      Which means he either got it illegally, or he had passed a very intensive background check.

      It was repeated, rapid gunfire

      Sounds like a pretty sucky suppressor, if it even was one at all. Anyone seen a pic of it?

      1. mexican sharpshooter

        Which means he either got it illegally, or he had passed a very intensive background check.

        Its not terribly difficult to make one in your garage.

        1. R C Dean

          Yet another reason why more laws aimed at suppressors are pointless.

      2. AlmightyJB

        Unless your using a .22, you’ll still hear a gun shot with a suppressor especially inside, it will be quieter though.

  33. Rhywun

    Guess what? Deblasio is still a loathesome racist. Shocking, I know.

  34. The Late P Brooks

    There should be an awareness campaign that the bravest, greatest service these mass shooters could do for society is to suck-start their own Glocks and give the rest of us a break. The Japs had it right with their honorable death. I partially blame Christians for making suicide a damnable sin.

    Seriously.

    The gungrabbers lump suicides in with their “gun violence” to inflate the numbers and flog their sadz. Bottom line, the ultimate expression of self-ownership is taking the early-checkout option. It might not seem justifiable or appropriate to outsiders looking in, but it’s not their decision.

  35. The Late P Brooks

    he and his co-workers didn’t know whether to evacuate or stay put, so they all came out of their individual offices and huddled together.

    Good thinking.

    1. Fourscore

      We used to call that “Targets of Opportunity”, sort of like mandatory meetings, on the clock.

    1. CPRM

      What trimester is that?

    2. Fatty Bolger

      “Shocking moment mother, 92, confesses to killing son”

      She’s not a mother. She’s just a woman exercising her constitutionally protected right to terminate a pregnancy. A bit late, perhaps, but nevertheless. – RBG

    3. AlmightyJB

      11 hour interrogation to to get a confession out of a 92 year old where there was a supposed witness? I wouldn’t be surprised if the wife actually did it.

  36. The Late P Brooks

    Meth lab of democracy

    That’s a big reason state officials pushed for this change in the first place: Previously, when its primary took place in June, California voters would often be among the last to go to the polls, sometimes doing so after the outcome of the Democratic nomination had effectively been decided. By moving its primary date — something any state has the power to do — California lawmakers have made the state a crucial stomping ground for Democrats seeking to establish an edge.

    “Candidates will not be able to ignore the largest, most diverse state in the nation as they seek our country’s highest office,” California Secretary of State Alex Padilla said in a statement regarding this change. In the coming days, Sens. Kamala Harris, Bernie Sanders, Elizabeth Warren, and South Bend Mayor Pete Buttigieg are among those who’ll be stopping by the state, though former Vice President Joe Biden conspicuously will not.

    Padilla noted that the calendar shift also means candidates will need to highlight issues that are prioritized by California voters, an electorate that’s significantly more diverse than places like New Hampshire and Iowa.

    Every time i see the word “diversity” I want to tie the author to a post and flog it with a knotted rope.

    1. Heroic Mulatto

      I want to tie the author to a post and flog it with a knotted rope.

      A strange fetish, but ok.

    2. R C Dean

      This should do a fine job of giving the hardcore leftists a leg up on the Dem nomination.

    3. AlmightyJB

      This is great news for Republicans.

      1. mexican sharpshooter

        Because it forces them to spend a shitload of time and money campaigning for a primary in a state they will never win in the general election?

        1. slumbrew

          Yes, but it also means the resulting candidate will be even further to the left than they might otherwise be, which will be poison in the general.

          1. AlmightyJB

            Exactly

          2. mexican sharpshooter

            Thanks. I gathered that. I’m just pointing out it delivers yet another obstacle for any candidate that might lean the least bit to the right.

          3. slumbrew

            I totally misparsed your comment (thought you were talking about other, centrist Dems futilely burning their money in CA).

            I suppose the R’s would just spend some minimal amount of time & money there but generally consider it a lost cause. Like Republicans here in Mass. The Republican primary _exists_, but it doesn’t have much of a profile.

      2. Rhywun

        Yeah, wouldn’t want one of those boringly centrist, undiverse states picking the candidate before the looney tunes in CA get their say. What could possibly go wrong.

    4. pan fried wylie

      They think they have an effect on the nomination? How quaint.

  37. Heroic Mulatto
    1. Fourscore

      No picture of the dog…

    2. AlmightyJB

      Have fun in prison asshole.

  38. The Late P Brooks

    A strange fetish, but ok.

    Get your mind out of the gutter. I’m merely trying to adapt to our brave new world of pronoun inclusivity.

  39. The Late P Brooks

    “Don’t let a good education stand in your way of success” or as a friend said “Its a shame to waste a strong back”

    The world needs ditchdiggers, too.

  40. The Late P Brooks

    More from Vox:

    One risk that may be unique to Harris in the state is the high expectation for a decisive victory, given her California ties. At this point, the Oakland native has racked up a slew of endorsements in the state including everyone from Gov. Gavin Newsom to Rep. Barbara Lee. If she falters in California, that could hurt her candidacy significantly.

    That’s weird. I thought Harris’ biggest problem in California is that Californians actually know who she is.

    1. Rhywun

      I was watching that shit-show. Morocco was also robbed of a valid goal and a penalty kick in the first leg. Interesting, that.

  41. The Late P Brooks

    Friend of the working man and woman

    Rep. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez (D-N.Y.) returned to her roots as a bartender Friday night to pour drinks in support of tipped workers and a $15-minimum wage.

    ———

    Employers in 43 states are allowed to pay workers below the federal minimum wage if they earn the full minimum wage counting tips.

    Restaurant Opportunities Centers United (ROC United), the organizer of the event Ocasio-Cortez attended, and other advocacy groups are lobbying New York Gov. Andrew Cuomo (D) to institute a full minimum wage for tipped workers.

    Union groups argue that the increase is necessary to combat wage theft, reduce economic disparity and make workers less vulnerable to sexual harassment.

    See how awesome she is?

    Not word fucking one about the overwhelming rejection of this bullshit union subsidization plan on the part of the vast majority of the people who actually work in the “hospitality industry”. I guess they’re just brainwashed.

    1. R C Dean

      Help me out here. How is a $15/hour wage going to combat wage theft and sexual harassment?

      1. Rhywun

        Because working for tips means you have to be nice to your customers. You know where that leads.

        1. Heroic Mulatto

          Restaurant bukkake?

          1. slumbrew

            Only if you’re Mario Batali.

          2. slumbrew

            Oh, and Harvey Weinstein, if potted plants count.

          3. Rhywun

            Exactly.

          4. Heroic Mulatto

            This is why I always tip 20%.

          5. R C Dean

            There’s a “just the tip” joke in there somewhere.

        2. mexican sharpshooter

          Hiring Mexicans willing to work under the table?

      2. Fatty Bolger

        I see this done all the time, it’s just progressive word salad used to make their dumb ass ideas sound more appealing. No actual relation to reality is necessary.

        1. Hyperion

          ” it’s just progressive word salad”

          You win one internetz.

      3. Hyperion

        It’s bullshit speak and nothing more.

        Restaurant Opportunities Centers United (ROC United), the organizer of the event Ocasio-Cortez attended, and other advocacy groups are lobbying New York Gov. Andrew Cuomo (D) to institute a full minimum wage for tipped workers.

        The result of this will be no more tips, because no more job for these workers. But let’s just pretend that’s not so, and everything will be just fine.

        No one has ever seriously accused Cortez or any of her retarded followers of being economically literate.

        1. slumbrew

          She has an economics degree from BU. That does not reflect well on BU.

          That said, I still can’t decide on her – stupid or grifter?

          1. R C Dean

            Ocasio-Cortez, stupid grifter.

            Works for me. At first, I was trying to resist the idea that she is as stupid as she comes across. But I think she really is that stupid.

            And she’s a politician from a safe district. The “grifter” is pretty much a given.

            I do wonder if the Dem Party is going to take her out in the next primary. OF course, even if they do, she will still be cashing pension checks for the next 50 fucking years. Pretty successful grift.

          2. Hyperion

            “Works for me. At first, I was trying to resist the idea that she is as stupid as she comes across. But I think she really is that stupid.”

            If she isn’t really that stupid, then she needs to forget politics and head out to Hollywood, because she’s the best actress on this planet.

        2. R C Dean

          The result of this will be no more tips, because no more job for these workers.

          Or, a lot fewer tips for the ones who still have jobs. I generally tip because I know the server needs it. If you’re pulling down $30K/year, you don’t need it anymore. Plus, I already paid more for my meal because the restaurant had to raise prices to cover its increased labor costs. I try to avoid paying for anything twice.

          1. Rhywun

            The end goal seems to be to make dining out as pleasant as a visit to the DMV.

          2. Hyperion

            Well, that’s a definite second scenario. Why should I tip someone who’s making 30K a year, as well as pay more for my meal?

          3. R C Dean

            Consider: An individual making $15/hour will be making more than 95% of the median individual income, and a household with two people making $15/hour will be bringing in jmore than 95% of the median household income.

          4. Hyperion

            A person making $15 an hour as well as taking home the standard now of 15-20% tips, could easily be taking home $45-50K a year, for unskilled labor. Add to that, that the tips are not going to be reported income that is taxed. So, the person is probably as well off as anyone making 75K a year in a payrolled job.

          5. Hyperion

            And imagine a couple both waiting tables. They could have the equivalent of a 150K a year income. Which will make entry into that type job almost impossible for young people just out of school. Since no one will ever leave that position. Now instead of a little extra income or work your way through college type job, it will become a fucrative life long career.

          6. pan fried wylie

            fuckrative indeed.

          7. mexican sharpshooter

            True. Which is why tipping is less common in Europe, they’re paid a “full” salary and do not require one.

            Of course when I go the service sucks.

          8. Hyperion

            It’s very rare to see anyone tip in Brazil, but the service is most places is far better than anywhere in the US. Not sure why, it just is.

          9. slumbrew

            Culture, I guess.

            Brazilians are rife here in the Boston area and you see a ton working front of house.

            Almost universally awesome people. I love the Brazilians.

          10. JaimeRoberto: Gentleman, Scholar, French Tickler

            Who doesn’t like Brazilians?

    2. slumbrew

      Funny, they skipped over the part where the coffee shop she worked at was driven out of business by the move to a $15 minimum wage.

      I believe they were already paying ~ $13 – “just $2 an hour more”. 130 employees, 40 hours a week * $2/hr = $499,200 a year in increased overhead.

      Even a large coffee shop like that doesn’t have that kind of slack in it.

      1. Hyperion

        Sometimes, I really believe that the goal of NYC and other blue havens, is to drive all the common folk out and only have millionaires and billionaires left there. I’m not really sure what that will look like, but we’re going to find out if they keep it up.

        1. slumbrew

          I’d cut them some slack and say they have good intentions, but “Easily foreseen consequences are not unintended”.

          1. R C Dean

            Yup. If you stack a bunch of logs up next to your house, pour gasoline on them, and light it to have a bonfire, you don’t get to say “I only intended to have a bonfire. I didn’t mean to burn my house down. That was just an unintended consequence.”

        2. Rhywun

          Well, millionaires, billionaires, and “the poor”. It’s the people who don’t get any of the goodies that are being driven out.

          1. Hyperion

            If all the payroll tax grunts are driven out, who’s going to provide the goodies for the poor? Oh yeah, the 80% tax rate they really, truly, for sure are going to levy on the evil rich.

  42. AlmightyJB

    Songs you may or may not know were covers.

    https://youtu.be/C1XaF9RvXsc

  43. The Late P Brooks

    Goddammit

    “I appreciate President Trump’s steadfast support for our patriotic farmers and for his commitment to expand the sale of E15 and unleash the full potential of American innovation and ingenuity as we continue to demonstrate our rightful place as the world’s leader in agricultural and energy production,” the Agriculture Secretary Sonny Perdue said in a statement.

    The summertime ban “made it very difficult to market E15,” said William Wehrum, the head of the clean air office at the Environmental Protection Agency, which administers the ethanol regulations. “We think this will result in increasing the amount of ethanol blended into gasoline.”

    Swell. What we need is more shittier gas with a lower energy content.

    1. R C Dean

      Don’t forget the damage it does to your engine, either.

      opening up markets to additional fuel choices for consumers

      I’m unclear on how this gives me additional fuel “choices”, since ethanol is mandatory in gasoline. The only additional fuel choices I want are (a) real gas, with no alcohol and (b) more octane.

    2. pan fried wylie

      At least we can expect the feds to force localities to drop lawn care requirements when they effectively ban lawnmowers.

  44. The Late P Brooks

    “Removing outdated barriers and regulations is a commitment that this administration continues to make good on,” said Zippy Duvall, president of the American Farm Bureau Federation. “After years of declining farm income, opening up markets to additional fuel choices for consumers helps create new demand that farmers desperately need.”

    FUCK

    YOU.

    1. KSuellington

      How about giving me the choice of buying 100% dinosaur ? derived energy rather than your shitty corn fuel?

      1. CPRM

        Premium gas here contains no ethanol at a lot of stations.

        1. R C Dean

          I checked. Shockingly, ethanol is not technically required except in a few states, yet ethanol-free gasoline is almost impossible to find. I wonder why that is?

  45. The Late P Brooks

    Premium gas here contains no ethanol at a lot of stations.

    I tried a couple of tankfulls of “non-ethanol” gas on my cross country jaunt, expecting a bump in mileage, but I didn’t see any improvement [insert uncontrolled variable disclaimer].

    I don’t know what they put in gasoline these days, but it ain’t performance enhancers.

    1. Mad Scientist

      Modern engines have sensors that can tell how much alcohol is in the blend, then change the timing to suit the fuel.

  46. The Late P Brooks

    Speaking of “making one in your garage”…

    I was checking prices on 80% 1911 frames the other day. I think I’ll be ordering one at some point in the not-too-distant future.

  47. pan fried wylie

    I’ve got a 10 gallon scald pot that I would defend with violence

    using the same pot.