Saturday night links of something, or other

This is my “O” face.

 

Saturdays are my day off. As much as I can get a day off. I wrote this one off about noon. Whiskey in the afternoon can be liberating.

 

You know what happened today?!? People had birthdays!

 

Does this hotdog smell funny?

 

If they hadn’t closed Coney Island, this would have never made the news.

 

Icarus flew too high.

 

I may never go outside again.

 

Making hotdogs?

 

Nuts need to be punched, wood chippers and rusty chainsaws need to be employed and survivors need to be fired.

 

Darwin approved.

 

Think I’ll go get me a hot dog.

 

If wishes were horses, rides would be free. If Huntley were Cronkite, we’d watch NBC.

 

Almost enough to make me swear off hotdogs.

 

Sometimes, Saturday night can be lonely.

Comments

498 responses to “Saturday night links of something, or other”

  1. Hyperion

    “Progressivism is a thinly veiled religion devoted to global dominance.”

    Why can’t you love socialism, you thinly veiled Rethuglican racist?

    1. Spudalicious

      And give up my racistbigotedmysoginisticxenophobic ways? Perish the though.

      1. Hyperion

        A man after my own ways *hands get out of PC prison for free card*

  2. First. I feel special.

    1. Yusef drives a Kia

      We both failed, fall on your sword!

      1. Hyperion

        Or Yusef will intentionally made your AC not work, in July?

    2. leon

      Well, straight to hell with ya

  3. leon

    “Government officials have scrambled to find loopholes but say there may be nothing they can do.”

    Bullshit

    1. leon

      “The new owner says he won’t negotiate and will begin eviction proceedings soon.”

      Seeing as the property was stolen when he purchased it, he really has no right to the title

  4. Yusef drives a Kia

    I loved Mad growing up, I learned so much, the VD issue was hilarious and gross,
    Second!

    1. Yusef drives a Kia

      OK 4th

      1. 4th place for you, Mr. Fonebone!

        /Don Martin

    2. Hyperion

      I loved pussy growing up, and then nothing changed…

      1. Sir Digby (PBUH)

        So, the more they change, the more they stay the same…Something like that.

        /Got nuthin’, but agreement.

  5. I work from home. I see green stuff all the time. I still crave and eat shitty stuff like chips.

    1. Spudalicious

      If it weren’t for all the green stuff, you’d obviously be a big, fat, sweaty hog.

      1. Maybe the ladies like it like that?

        1. Sean

          *whispers*
          “They don’t”

        2. Based on some of the cheesecake pix several of you post around here, it seems men are now into big fat sweaty hog ladies.

          1. Sir Digby (PBUH)

            Daaaang, Doc…. That’s, like, harsh, man!

    2. Hyperion

      I don’t even know how it can get more green than where I live right now. It’s old growth forest green utopia. Meh, no, I don’t fucking care, give me a chain saw, the sun cannot reach my state sponsored solar panels.

      1. leon

        Will they make the desert I live in green?

        1. No worries, global warming will do it… somehow.

        2. Hyperion

          I hear the did that in Israel and AZ.

    3. Nephilium

      Nope. I can tell you that after a long ride through the woods, beer and carbs are what I’m craving.

  6. leon

    The end of satire”

    Satire isn’t dead, it’s thriving! Look at AOC and her fantastic performance art.

  7. Timeloose

    I fondly remember reading the Disney world themed MAD on my way to Disney. One frame was of a glass submarine ride that showed a Woody Woodpecker at the bottom of the lake with cement shoes and X’ed out eyes.

    Still makes me laugh today.

    1. Rhywun

      I liked when the did Star Blecch or Drek.

      1. BEAM’s not a team player

        I liked “201 Minutes of a Space Idiocy” myself. Dawn of Man Tape Deck!

        1. The “Snappy Answers to Stupid Questions” regular feature always cracked me up.

  8. Plinker762

    I wonder if the authors of the study consider craving to shoot guns, ride dirt bikes and drive lifted pickup trucks as “harmful”? Because that is what I want to do when I’m outdoors.

    1. leon

      “shoot guns”

      Beneficial to your health

      “ride dirt bikes ”

      Meh

      “drive lifted pickup trucks ”

      I will kill you.

      1. Plinker762

        It’s a diesel pickup with a tuner too.

  9. Tulip

    From the Coney Island story- they point out that the body was found near the aquarium. Hmm, mutant sharks?

    1. Spudalicious

      Sharks with frickin laser beams attached to their heads.

    2. Timeloose

      I think it’s Luther, leader of the Rogues after the Gramercy Riffs were finished with him.

      He will never come out to playyyayy ever again.

  10. On topic:

    Humans are disgusting animals that will kill each other over a scrap of food.

    Debate.

    1. leon

      I’m not your bitch.

      1. I’LL KILL YOU

    2. Timeloose

      The what kind of scraps are we talking bout? Salisbury steak, lima beans, grapes?

      1. I’m thinking hotdish.

        1. Timeloose

          I’ve lost interest.

        2. BEAM’s not a team player

          Eh, mebbe.

        3. MikeS

          *draws revolver*

    3. Spudalicious

      Enact your own fucking labor.

      1. I will thank you.

        And I’ll kill all of you so I can eat the placenta afterward.

    4. Don’t tell me what to do!

      1. slumbrew

        You’re not my supervisor!

        1. Sean

          ?? thank you

          1. slumbrew

            Crewcut Cheryl is surprisingly hot.

    5. Fourscore

      How big is the scrap? Miss 3 meals and I’m in…

  11. “Armed man shot, killed after throwing incendiary devices at Washington ICE detention center”

    El. Oh. Fuckin’ El.

    Pile ’em up like cord wood.

    1. And when I say that, I mean idiots in general.

    2. Rhywun

      I wonder if he was with the same communist outfits behind the Mexican-flag operation.

    3. Sean

      Still, pretty fucked up that this is where we’re at.

    4. Fourscore

      The nice congress lady from MI said it would be OK, he was just trying to hurry it up and cut out all the red tape.

  12. leon

    Icarus flew too high.

    For sure thought this would be an AOC link.

    1. Hyperion

      Lucky for us here in the US of A, we can’t get out of low earth orbit for the last 50 years.

  13. Big titty broads crashing in on your Silicone Saturday.

    http://archive.li/EOux0

    1. Hyperion

      If you could take up specializing in hips, legs, and ass I could appreciate it. Breasts are like hood ornaments, they’re OK, but you really don’t need one, or two…

        1. 11 has a great pussy.

          1. BEAM’s not a team player

            That’s . . . true, actually.

        2. Lackadaisical

          3 for the outfit, 19, 24, 34, 38.

          4 is flat af.

      1. “Breasts are like hood ornaments, they’re OK, but you really don’t need one, or two”

        Also: I’m not gonna judge a fellow Glib for being objectively wrong other than pointing out that he’s objectively wrong.

        1. That’s fine, I’ll judge this deviant and heap the scorn you failed to properly muster.

      2. Breasts are like martinis: one is not enough, and three are too many.

        1. Heroic Mulatto

          Bullshit.

          Get your ass to Mars!

      1. She needs a larger size cup.

    1. mikey

      When I was stationed a Ramstein AFB in Germany two guys I knew got into a drunken squabble in front of the O Club late one Saturday. One guy pushed the other who fell back and hit his head on the curb. It killed him.

      1. Court martial?

        1. mikey

          Yeah. They couldn’t just let it go – a guy was dead. But it wasn’t even a real fight and the guys worked together. Just dumb and tragic. Think the guy gave guy the least they could.

    2. Jesus, those comments. You couldn’t parody that to make Fox news viewers look any worse.

      1. “Pretty hard “slap” there amigo..He’ll report to prison when a giant pterodactyl swoops down and snatches him walking home from his favorite Tijuana club.”

        “Is gonna be a hard 7 years. I hear they don’t have Corona in jail.”

        “I don’t always kill people at a children’s birthday party, but when I do, it usually involves excessive amounts of Dos Equis.”

        “He will cross the border as Juan Herraro-Betos and will walk free thanks to Liberal actions!!”

        They’re obviously just patriots who care deeply for their country.

        *begins feverishly downing nail polish remover*

      2. leon

        “I don’t always kill people at a children’s birthday party, but when I do, it usually involves excessive amounts of Dos Equis.”

        A bit formulaic, but still kinda funny.

        1. Rhywun

          I liked this one:

          “Someone wake up Herrera and tell him he’s going to prison.”

    1. And the fact that it was in MD.

      *pours another beer in shame*

      1. Spudalicious

        Isn’t day drinking awesome?

    2. leon

      “Taylor said the teens meant to spray paint “Class of 2018″ on the sidewalk as a senior prank, but things got out of hand. ”

      Huh… You don’t say

      1. Rhywun

        didn’t realize their cellphones automatically connected to Glenelg High School’s Wi-Fi under their individual student IDs

        LOL dumbasses

        I do appreciate Idaho picking up a story from WaPo from an event that happened last year in order to thoughtcrime-shame these punks some more.

        1. Spudalicious

          Idaho press is straight out of Mayberry.

          1. Rhywun

            Ah, not even Idaho – it’s AP.

            So probably every paper in the country ran with this story of such obvious national significance.

          2. Fits intersectional oppression narrative? Check.
            Happened in some bumfuck Republinazi flyover state? Check.
            Has the capacity to generate outrage? Check.

            Has all the markings of a national story.

            Major national political party attempts a soft coup?

            “Too Local”

    1. Plinker762

      Those things are dangerous. Lead exposure can cause cancer in CA.

      1. BakedPenguin

        So take it out of state to shoot.

      2. blackjack

        Yeah, I just prepped a car. It came with wheel locks. They put the lug nuts in the bags the locks came in. The bag had the stupid cancer warning. Fucking lug nuts! I made sure not eat any of them, though.

        1. “Warning, this warning label is known to the State of California to cause cancer.”

        2. Gustave Lytton

          Stayed at a hotel near SFO. There was a Prop 65 warning display at the check in desk for the hotel itself.

          1. Rhywun

            My desk job at a SF hotel 23 years ago was my first encounter with that silliness.

            CA has been a lost cause for a long, long time.

        3. Plinker762

          My rental car in San Diego had the cancer warning. Needless to say, I didn’t eat it.

    2. Not Adahn

      Save $30 and get it in FDE.

  14. I haven’t had a single cigar this summer. That sucks.

    Well, I haven’t had one since yesterday.

    1. Spudalicious

      I’m experiencing allergy induced bronchitis this year. I have zero interest in sparking up a stogie. And I usually have 3-4 a week in the summer.

      1. Yipes. Hope it improves. Pollen?

        1. Spudalicious

          Yes. Mild winter, warm, wet spring. There are people in a lot worse shape than I am though.

  15. Not Adahn

    I went to my local “Blue” gun shop because they carry better stuff, but I’m going to have to stop doing that, they are pissing me off.

    I went to pick out an IDPA gun,and the salesguy kept saying things like “It won’t make weight with the extended baseplate on that mag.” To which I responded “I can’t buy that anyway, I’m not a cop.” And the fucker would keep showing me stuff reserved for the King’s Men.

    Anyway I had kind of picked out the CZ P10F based on stats and reviews, but in the hand, I’m concerned bout the oval grip — those tend to shift around too much when shooting.

    Guns I think I’d be happy with:

    HK VP9
    Sig P320 X5
    Kanik something or other — the cheapest of the bunch (other than the P10F)
    CZ SP01 Tactical
    CZ 75 Tactical Sport Orange — I’m actually glad I didn’t like this one best, because it’s $1800.

    And the one I like well enough not to buy anything but save up for: CZ 75 Shadow Target II

    I took the Beretta out to the range to get decent with it in the meantime. It actually shoots fantastically if I shoot it slow enough. Too bad IDPA is a timed event.

    1. Spudalicious

      I like the look of the CZ but don’t care much for the butt plate on the magazine.

      1. Not Adahn

        Oh, that extender wouldn’t be legal for me to buy. My pinned-at-ten-round mags would be flush-fitting, if I bought one.

      2. Not Adahn

        It has the most amazingly slick DA trigger I’ve ever tried.

        1. Spudalicious

          The description says it’s a single action trigger?

          1. Not Adahn

            DA/SA

            In SA, I couldn’t tell much difference between that one and my Shadow 2. In DA, it has zero grit or stacking, which I’ve never experienced before.

    2. westernsloper

      And the fucker would keep showing me stuff reserved for the King’s Men.

      Wut?

      1. Sean

        He lives in a non free state.

        1. Spudalicious

          Exactly. He doesn’t live here in America.

      2. Not Adahn

        The shop caters to LEOs so they stock normal guns, instead of the NY-approved crippled versions.

        1. westernsloper

          I wish I had a 92. Hard to find around here and I have never shopped online for guns like you peeps. I bought a PX4 on a whim at a pawn shop some years ago. Very similar to the 92 which is the gun I am most familiar with from back in the day.

          1. Not Adahn

            I have never shot a PX4, but I’ve heard great things about them.

    3. Honestly I would keep the Beretta and just do a shitload of dryfire practice. 92s are good guns and enough to get you to the next level of any competition.

      I know some people don’t like the grip angle and aesthetics, but you can do legit work with a Glock 34 too. If you can get a good deal the Sig X5 is a great shooter out of the box. I would advise against one of the specialized CZs unless you’re an advanced competition shooter looking to burn some money. They’re really nice but not necessary, especially for IDPA.

      Just out of curiosity, why an “IDPA gun”? Have you run USPSA as well? I started with IDPA due to match availability but found USPSA a lot more fun so now I’m about 50/50.

      1. Not Adahn

        I am just getting started. My club has their own easy-going Action Pistol rules, but they only put up stages once a month during the actual competition and otherwise offer no training or practice opportunities. The nearest club that does (and they actually have three sessions a week) use IDPA rules. The gun I am using (and loving) is a Shadow 2, which is too heavy for IDPA.

        I don’t know of nearby opportunities for USPSA/IPSC.

        I imagine that after another 3k-4k rounds through the M9 it’ll be just fine. I’m still going to keep shooting the Shadow 2 though — it’s too much fun not to.

        1. Now I’m jelly, just keep shooting the Shadow 2 in Outlaw class. In IDPA it’s virtually exclusive for Shadow 2s. So many people I know use those for local club IDPA matches because they’re amazing guns and are USPSA legal in Production class and it doesn’t make sense to buy a dedicated IDPA gun. Unless you’re looking to do state or national matches, it doesn’t really matter anyway. I would have bought one myself but I exercised some discipline and didn’t go full gamer in my first year.

    4. EvilSheldon

      Those are all super nice guns. I had a CZ Shadow for a while, that thing was like shooting on Easy mode.

      Not to say you shouldn’t buy more guns, but if you already have a Beretta 92, you could just tune it up a little…
      https://www.langdontactical.com/trigger-job-in-a-bag-92-96-m9-series/

      1. Gustave Lytton

        That looks nice. Any rec for which trigger, trigger bar, and pull weight?

      2. Not Adahn

        Yanno…

        On the one hand, that adds 50% to the value of the gun. On the other hand, I do love taking machines apart and modifying them.

        I’m going to have to read the rules and make sure this is kosher for SSP.

  16. DEG

    When a reporter came to interview Kass about Bernie Madoff shortly before that firm blew up in the biggest Ponzi scheme ever, Kass told her, “There’s another guy who reminds me of Madoff that no one trades with.” That man was Jeffrey Epstein.

    “How did he get the money?” Kass kept asking.

    So, what you’re saying is, I need to sit back, relax, and enjoy the show?

    #cathynewmanquestions

    The deputy told him he was “perilously close” to losing the home and advised he pay the tax soon, Boerner said.

    Property taxes are fucking evil.

    1. Rely on King’s men to defend your property and you gotta give the King his taste.

    2. Hyperion

      “Property taxes are fucking evil.”

      I keep saying that and have been for a long time. But most ‘libertarians’ tend to disagree with me. But like I always tell my new immigrant friends ‘You can never own your own home in the land of the free, the government owns it”. If you don’t believe me, stop paying your property taxes’.

      1. You can own your home, you just cant own the land that it sits on, well you could, but you would have to raise an army and conquer some land and hold it, then you can own the land and your home. Not willing to do that pay someone who is/did.

        1. Hyperion

          “you just cant own the land that it sits on”

          Well, that makes all the difference.

          1. Exactly and land is held by force. so pay protection or take and defend it yourself.

          2. Hyperion

            “or take and defend it yourself”

            I’ll take that option any day. The problem is that you are advocating it against a government sworn to protect me, not steal from me.

          3. Why is that government sworn to protect you? if you are not paying for it, you are claiming the labor of others to enforce our property rights, usually that kind of thing earns one a ‘fuck off slaver’ round here.

          4. leon

            Yup, cause you can totally walk to the court house and say you will be purchasing protection services elsewhere.

          5. Semi-Spartan Dad

            As far as I can tell, the vast majority of property tax goes right into the never ending pockets of the local school system (every kid gets their own apple laptop in my bumfuck county and the school board still screams about funding shortages). The remainder is split between a militarized police to wage urban warfare against victimless crimes and funding services for various interest groups.

            It’s unclear to me how much, if any, of my property tax actually goes towards protecting my property from a hostile takeover. I suspect a single officer, backed up a voluntary militia of community members, would more than suffice for this task.

          6. westernsloper

            I would gladly pay an annual administrative fee to ensure my property rights are kept/filed with the court clerk. I am sure there are many ways to fund the legal system that ensures property rights without extortion and the threat of removal from my property.

        2. Wrong . . my property taxes are based on the value of the home, not the value of the land the home sits on. Also, they will take my entire house, not just the land if I don’t pay the ransom.

          1. Spudalicious

            It’s based on both, and they will happily take both.

    3. westernsloper

      Property taxes are fucking evil fucking immoral.

      Fixed it.

      1. Gustave Lytton

        Property taxes

        Choose the form of the destructor.

        1. Spudalicious

          I’d take a walking, giant marshmallow over the Tax Assessor any day of the week.

    4. whiz

      And wasn’t Milton Friedman’s preferred tax a property tax on the unimproved value of the land?

      1. SLD, I don’t agree with any property tax However, if they do exist they should be even across the town/county/etc. All taxes should be $XXX.XX dollars per acre. If you own 0.2 acres, you pay .2 of that. If you own 30, you pay 30 times that. Value of the structures on the land shouldn’t matter.

    1. Nephilium

      Yes it is. Did they ever go back to using the Kopi luwak coffee?

      1. DEG

        No idea. In fact, I don’t even remember when I bought this bottle. It’s been sitting in my cabinet for quite some time.

  17. Nephilium

    I guess Missouri Bourbon is now a thing. I wasn’t aware there even was such a thing that needed protection.

    1. slumbrew

      Some people think the French A.O.C. system is something to be envied.

      1. Nephilium

        If I had to guess, it’s an anti-<a href="http://whiskyadvocate.com/different-craft-whiskey-mgp-distillery/"MGP initiative.

  18. Hyperion

    “Missouri governor declares not just any bourbon can be called ‘Missouri bourbon”

    And then no one cared /THE END

  19. Sean

    This DeadAunt thing is still causing problems for me …the gf’s sister is a raging bitch (short version). Now I have to hear all about it, and she’s half crying. I’m supposed to be on vacation and having happy times. WTF?

    I know it’s the sister stirring up problems cuz she’s miserable and knows we’re going away.

    Grrrrr.

    1. DEG

      Sorry.

      1. Sean

        Thanks.

    2. Yeah, my mom hated her sister for reasons I could never quite get. Made for fun times at my uncle’s funeral.

      1. Sean

        My mom and her sister had a huge falling out when my grandmother passed. Never reconciled.

        1. Same for my dad and his sister after grandpa passed. Aunt Joann showed up at Gramp’s funeral with a moving truck and cleared his entire house. Dad was furious and never spoke to her again; he didn’t even acknowledge her own funeral.

    3. Sean

      The waterworks stopped. Thankfully. She listened to some words of wisdom and got her head right.

  20. KSuellington

    Was fishing with the buddies in the Sea of Cortez this past week for a couple days. In our boat a friend and I got three marlin, three yellowtail and a juvenile dorado in two days on the water. Kept the tuna, the others got put back. Made up sashimi and ceviche down there that was awesome, now back home and cooking up some sushi rice to make some rolls for the wife.

    https://imgur.com/a/EehdX22

    1. OneOut

      That’s bad ass KS.

    2. Spudalicious

      Noyce.

      1. KSuellington

        Cheers guys. If anyone is ever interested in fishing the East Cape, between Cabo and La Paz let me know. I’ve been going to that area for the past decade once a year. It is one of the top pelagic fishing areas in the world. The amount of sea life they have there is still impressive. I saw, quite literally, thousands upon thousands of porpoises and dolphins. I can only imagine what that place was like decades ago.

      2. Count Potato

        +1

    3. BakedPenguin

      Incredible colors on those fish. Looks like their skin was made of bismuth salts.

      Glad they were also tasty.

      1. BakedPenguin

        Oops. Should have written bismuth crystals.

    4. Akira

      Daaaamn dude. I can only imagine how good sashimi is straight out of the ocean. I’m jelly.

    5. westernsloper

      Very nice!

    6. DEG

      Very nice!

    7. KSuellington

      This was swimming a few hours before.

      https://imgur.com/gallery/nVnFIUS

    8. Fourscore

      Way to make a bull head fisherman feel bad, KS

      1. KSuellington

        Heh, it’s all a day on the water.

        Or if I was more eloquent, “Many men go fishing all of their lives without knowing that it is not fish they are after.”

        Henry Thoreau

        1. Fourscore

          I’d fish in a mud puddle if I had to, as you and Thoreau said.

        2. Spudalicious

          He used his tongue prettier than a $20 whore.

    9. Not Adahn

      Yellowfin is my favorite sashimi. I can’t imagine the joy of being able to eat that much. Hell, that would be more than the plane ticket to fly out and fish it.

      1. KSuellington

        Yes, I think it is. At least for me it is a reasonable plane ticket to get down there. It’s my fishing ? pinnacle there, I’m n love with it. One day I’ll get to Alaskan rivers for salmon.

      2. Spudalicious

        Our local sushi place gets in fresh Yellowtail from Hawaii every week. They always have a couple collars stashed away. Grilled Yellowtail collar is food of the gods.

        1. dbleagle

          We do get spoiled out here with the quality of the fish. It is a rare trip off shore that we don’t return with some great fish. Spicy poke is a food of the gods.

  21. Spudalicious

    The power is out in Manhattan.

    1. BakedPenguin

      Glad that commitment to green energy is working out for ya, NY.

    2. Rhywun

      Part of Midtown, looks like.

      And it’s not even that hot yet.

      1. None of the New York TV channels interrupted their programming to cover the outage.

      2. Count Potato

        I blame De Blasio. Not because I have a reason to think it’s his fault. He just sounds like an asshole.

        Anyway, I got that 4K youtube downloader. Thanks, so far it works fine for free. There is an paid upgrade to a premium version, but I don’t think I’d ever use the extra stuff it does.

        1. Rhywun

          Huh. There was no free version when I started using it. Cool!

          But yeah, no. OK yeah, Deblasio is an asshole but you gotta realize how much more power the state has amassed in recent years. Cuomo has total control over huge areas of NYC policy, such as transportation. And power. If this turns out to be some result of a shortage, it’s because of Cuomo’s policies.

          1. Count Potato

            Well, to be fair, if “asshole” was the only qualification, I could have picked any New York politician out of hat 🙂

    3. westernsloper

      The interruption ruined many an Au Gratin.

      1. westernsloper

        But all was not lost,
        Salads were tossed,
        Resulting in a sex toy with at least one patent.

        (sorry, I thought spud was starting a limerick thread)

    4. Fourscore

      Russian kids playing with their computers in the garage.

      “Hey, look, I just logged into the Manhattan Transfer grid, I’m gonna see what this does” (in Russian juvie slang)

      1. The Manhattan Transfer grid continually loops “Birdland” and “Twilight Tone”.

        1. DEG

          My parents lover The Manhattan Transfer.

          1. DEG

            loved.

  22. Spudalicious

    At least the billboards in Time’s Square are still working.

    1. Rhywun

      Not according to the article I read.

      1. Spudalicious

        Fox is currently showing a dark Time’s Square with big, bright billboards.

        1. Rhywun

          Huh. I wonder how that works.

          1. Spudalicious

            Different grid or backup generators.

  23. Count Potato

    “Scaling Wokeback Mountain

    WASHINGTON — I was feeling on edge. Writing a column that sparks an internecine fight among the highest-profile women in the Democratic Party is nerve wracking.

    So I went to the gym. Alex Toussaint, the digital Peloton instructor inside the little screen on my spinning bike, had some wisdom for me — the kind of New Age bromide dispensed in spin classes everywhere:

    You climb the mountain to see the world. You don’t climb the mountain so the world can see you.

    I only wished A.O.C. was cycling alongside me to hear it as well.

    Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez ensorcelled me from the start. I loved the bartender-makes-good Cinderella story, the shake-up-the-capital idealistic dreams, the bravado about how the plutocrat president from Queens wouldn’t know how to deal with a Puerto Rican girl from the Bronx.

    And I imagined the most potent feminist partnership in American history: Nancy Pelosi as sensei, bringing her inside game, and A.O.C., the Karate Kid with a wicked Twitter game.

    But instead, the 79-year-old speaker and the 29-year-old freshman are trapped in a generational and ideological tangle that poses a real threat to the Democrats’ ability to beat Donald Trump next year….

    In the age of Trump, there is no more stupid proposition than that Nancy Pelosi is the problem. If A.O.C. and her Pygmalions and acolytes decide that burning down the House is more important than deposing Trump, they will be left with a racist backward president and the emotional satisfaction of their own purity.”

    https://twitter.com/maureendowd/status/1150113267987156997

    https://www.nytimes.com/2019/07/13/opinion/sunday/scaling-wokeback-mountain.html

    1. Heroic Mulatto

      *laughs in libertarian*

    2. KSuellington

      Thanks for a bit of merriment.

    3. Shut the fuck up commie.

    4. Scruffy Nerfherder

      Did someone give Maureen some edibles again?

      1. Count Potato

        That was going to be my comment, but I figured my very unofficial job at Glibs is to lob meatballs over the plate.

    5. Gustave Lytton

      And I imagined the most potent feminist partnership in American history: Nancy Pelosi as sensei, bringing her inside game, and A.O.C., the Karate Kid with a wicked Twitter game.

      Has Dowd ever actually worked somewhere with more than one woman? I’m thinking not.

      1. Scruffy Nerfherder

        I think she’s become the female Tommy Friedman.

      2. Sensei

        Wax on… Wax off…

        Wow does my brain hurt after reading that.

  24. Count Potato

    “Left-wing extremist Alyssa Milano is comparing Mike Pence to Heinrich Himmler, who was one of the main architects behind the Holocaust”

    https://twitter.com/RealSaavedra/status/1150151126487973888

    https://twitter.com/Alyssa_Milano/status/1150123543515955201

        1. Count Potato

          I noticed that too.

          1. dbleagle

            Not only is she an idiot she is a clueless idiot. There is no shortage of photos of Himmler at various KL and she posts a picture at an Soviet POW enclosure.

          2. Rhywun

            LOL I had to view the image several times to catch that.

    1. Count Potato

      “If Mississippi gubernatorial candidate, @RobertFoster4MS, feels he can’t be alone with a woman without being accused of assault, why would we allow him to govern women?”

      https://twitter.com/Alyssa_Milano/status/1150117402518028289

      What?

      1. Gustave Lytton

        “No fair! You’re not allowed to escape being #metooed by anyone with an axe to swing!”

  25. Count Potato
    1. Scruffy Nerfherder

      She seems nice.

    2. commodious spittoon

      She knows that kids team could beat her team

      Hah hah hah

    3. westernsloper

      Is that purple haired broad wearing one of those t-shirts with tits printed on it?

      1. Rhywun

        No, those are her tits falling out of that top. Classy!

    4. Chipwooder

      She sure loves her some her

    5. mikey

      Nice “male gaze” going on there with the blonde going up the stairs.

  26. Count Potato

    “The Latest Study on Trigger Warnings Finally Convinced Me They’re Not Worth It

    All the evidence suggests they don’t help and might actually hurt, which means we need to devote more attention to better forms of mental health care.”

    https://slate.com/technology/2019/07/trigger-warnings-research-shows-they-dont-work-might-hurt.html

    ” Science “

    1. Fourscore

      So a gun comes with a warning about pulling the trigger like cigarettes warn of cancer?.

      “Pulling the trigger may be harmful to someone’s health and your freedom of movement”

    2. Gustave Lytton

      Gee, who could have seen that? Playing to week minded people’s mental hobgoblins, instead of telling them STFU and grow up, just encourages that? Where’s my shocked face at?

    3. Scruffy Nerfherder

      How are we going to score microaggressions without trigger warnings now?

    4. mikey

      “…. which means we need to devote more attention to better forms of mental health care.”

      I thought this was your snark, Then I see it’s a direct quote.

      In my defense you left out the quote at the beginning of the second para. /pedant.

      1. Count Potato

        That how I do pull quotes. Well, unless I screw it up.

  27. Count Potato

    This story proves that the worst part of the NFA is that copy editors don’t have easy access to grenade launchers.

    https://twitter.com/CarolBlymire/status/1149805563674583040

    1. mikey

      That’s a real dumster fire.

      1. Spudalicious

        It was noticed, what you did there.

        1. Count Potato

          Missed it by this much.

      2. Count Potato

        I see what you did there.

    1. Scruffy Nerfherder

      Whoa

    2. Count Potato

      Wow, that thing must be three times her age.

  28. AlmightyJB

    I saw Billy Squire lead for Def Leppard. Good show.

    1. Sir Digby (PBUH)

      Lucky!

  29. DEG

    A little Grisette. It’s OK.

    1. I had a Garnacha with dinner.

      1. Spudalicious

        I think Spain does a superb job with Grenache. I had a Zinfandel from Paso Robles.

    2. Nephilium

      I like Sly Fox beers, they’ve got a lot of good ones. I’m somewhat disappointed in the Moscow Mule themed Great Lakes beer I picked up today. $11 a 4 pack for a 6.5% beer that really doesn’t hit the ginger notes I was expecting.

      1. DEG

        I like Sly Fox.

        The first time I went to BockFest (three years ago… I grew up near there but never went back for the festival until recently) was the first time in a long time I was well and truly drunk. I didn’t even get that drunk on any of my trips to Oktoberfest. I was stumbling down the road from the brewery to a friend’s place, and realized I was stumbling drunk past the projects. Living in New England has made me soft. At least I was well outside Philly. That’s stupid shit you do while you are in your 20s, not your 40s.

        I had a Moscow Mule for the first time on an unofficial work outing. Our annual Christmas pub crawl. We stopped in a bar that didn’t have a good beer selection, so I decided to try something different. Moscow Mules were on their cocktail menu. I had one. I liked it so much I had another.

  30. Hyperion

    Hey, Suthen, you alright down there, bro? I know it can’t be as bad as having a POTUS named Barry for 8 years, but let us know how it’s going…

  31. mikey

    An interesting read, if just for this last line.

    “There is no class more dangerous than the tertiary-educated with no prospects that they consider worthy of themselves.”

    Every commie and socialist ever.

    https://www.takimag.com/article/the-choice-between-bad-and-worse/print

    1. Rhywun

      That could be that prelude-quote-thing to The Unauthorized Biography of Bill Deblasio.

  32. Rhywun

    I’m always amused by these doomsday Uber articles.

    Last night I took Uber about 10 miles across Brooklyn and back. Total cost over $100. From my point of view, all it is is a user-friendly website layered over the existing, extremely expensive car service market. NYC proves without a doubt that you can regulate the shit out of it and it will still make money.

    1. DEG

      The people that write those doomsday articles can go fuck themselves.

      1. Rhywun

        Maybe it is doomed, I dunno. Losing billions of dollars a year is not a recipe for success.

        But when I read something like “Uber sells its product below cost” I have to wonder why I can’t live in that universe.

        1. DEG

          Maybe Uber will fail. I worked at a company that lost a billion a year. It doesn’t exist anymore.

          What pisses me off about those articles is the crap about the Uber drivers’ pay.

          If the Uber drivers really don’t like their pay, why are they driving for Uber? Go someplace else.

          1. Nephilium

            All of the Lyft/Uber drivers here have nothing but good things to say about driving. I love it for the fact that taxis here are only call ahead, and a pain in the ass. So far the only time I’ve been stuck in surge pricing was New Year’s Day one year, it was still cheaper then a DUI or a hotel room.

          2. Rhywun

            I would love it if it was an honest business with the city fucking it up. As it is here, I won’t take it except for extraordinary circumstances – just like I always have for car services.

            For those who don’t know, taxis cannot be called in NYC. Car services or “limos” are the call-ahead option and they are crazy expensive. They introduced a non-Manhattan version of taxis (in green colors) at taxi prices but I’ve never seen one in the wild.

          3. Rhywun

            *without the city fucking it up

          4. Nephilium

            Yeah. Here in Cleveland, taxis aren’t allowed to prowl around for customers. They are allowed to park at set taxi stands (most of which are outside the downtown hotels), other then that, you have to call them Once Lyft and Uber moved in, they’ve pretty much destroyed anyone using the terrible taxi services here.

          5. Rhywun

            This wasn’t one of those articles. Some inside-baseball-to-me talk about venture capital and such.

          6. DEG

            I should have read the article before posting.

          7. That’s just crazy talk

          8. The garage door people came today to finish the job that was started weeks ago. I re-framed a section of the garage earlier this week to raise some joist so the operator would fit. They brought the wrong operator. I added more framing to the install to make it so the one they brought would fit and it would be done today. They hung it at an angle and it looked like crap. As soon as they left I pulled it down and redid it. I don’t usually pay for home repairs. I finally did and I think it was more work and frustration that if I had done everything myself.

          9. threading fail.

    2. Nephilium

      Damn. Used Uber/Lyft last night to head downtown for the game (and back home again), ran about $20 each way (~13.5 miles).

      1. Rhywun

        I could have taken a train and a bus or a train to Manhattan and another train to Brooklyn and it would have taken not much longer and saved me around 95 dollars. Sigh. But it was one of life’s somber events that I didn’t want to sweat in shirt and tie underground.

      2. MikeS

        The game where the Twins came from behind to win? That game?

        1. Nephilium

          Yeah. That game, looks like you guys are getting the series.

          1. MikeS

            It’s looking good so far.

          2. Nephilium

            And there it is. Good job from your Twins.

          3. MikeS

            It’s been a hell of a year so far. But damned if the Indians aren’t hanging in there…just waiting for the Twins to stumble.

          4. MikeS

            Twins struck out 15 times and still won. The last time they did that was last year. In Cleveland. Against Bauer.

          5. Nephilium

            The Tribe needs to get their offense in order. The discussion last night with my friend was the if there was more of an issue in the offense or the pitching producing in the post season. Good on your team though… I had to correct the girlfriend that your team wasn’t the bad guys. I mean it’s not like it was the Yankees, Stilerz, or Broncos.

  33. We live 10 miles east of San Francisco. At 5pm today it was 94 degrees at our house and 59 degrees in SF. Those Berkeley/Oakland Hills do am amazing job keeping the marine layer at bay.

    1. Rhywun

      I want the 59 degrees.

      1. Nephilium

        #MeToo

        Yesterday was the first tolerable night in the past several weeks. We were back up in the 90’s again today. Thankfully, 80 as the high tomorrow, but back in the upper 80’s for the rest of the week.

        1. Rhywun

          Yeah, I’m kind of over this summer already.

          1. MikeS

            If I could find somewhere that had autumn weather for 5 months, I’d move there.

    2. Spudalicious

      Orinda by chance? I lived in central CoCo County for 30 years.

      1. Bingo.
        You used to be in Pleasant Hill IIRC?

        Oh, and the nice thing, as Spud knows, is it will be 59 degrees here by 11pm or so. It’s a rare hot day here when it’s not still good sleeping temperature.

        1. Spudalicious

          Yep. Last 20 years in CA were in Pleasant Hill.

          1. I’ve done a couple of consulting gigs in Boise over the past few years, I can see why you chose there. I could easily see that as a destination if we can’t stand CA any more. I like the Inn at 500, too, where I’ve always stayed.

          2. Gustave Lytton

            Inn at 500 must be one of the newer ones.

            Ah, it’s one of Obie’s projects. I wonder how much graft he spread around that one to get it built.

  34. Count Potato

    “Neighborhood evacuated after threat of a toilet seat wired to explode

    COFFEE COUNTY, Tenn. (WTVF) — Homes were evacuated Saturday evening in Tullahoma after a bomb threat.

    Tennessee Highway Patrol is responding to the scene in the Jennings Point subdivision where they say a man called in claiming his toilet seat was wired to explode.

    Officials say two men got into a heated dispute. When one of the men later sat down on the toilet, he got a phone call from the other man saying the toilet had been equipped with a pressure switch and a bomb that would go off if he stood up.

    This is a developing situation. We will update this story when we have more information.”

    https://twitter.com/NC5/status/1150184238756618241

    https://www.newschannel5.com/news/neighborhood-evacuated-after-threat-of-a-toilet-seat-wired-to-explode

    1. Spudalicious

      Best timeline ever.

    2. westernsloper

      Someone watched Lethal Weapon one too many times.

      1. The toilet bomb was in Lethal Weapon Two.

  35. Sensei

    TW: Gawker Media

    Here’s Why You Don’t Open a Radiator Cap When It’s Boiling Hot

    I’m amazed at just how many acts of stupidity are recorded and posted for the world to see.

  36. Count Potato

    Crap, Fox bumped the Greg Gutfeld Show to cover the NYC power outage. Which is stupid because FOX5 in NYC runs news at 10 PM.

    https://twitter.com/GregGutfeldShow/status/1150220870305976321

    1. Spudalicious

      40,000 people, and mainstream media freezes in place. Well, I guess they had to find something to fill the special coverage space they had set aside for Hurricane Obama, that fizzled just like his presidency.

      1. Rhywun

        A J-Lo concert was plunged into darkness. J-Lo!

      2. Count Potato

        https://twitter.com/NYCMayor/status/1150216786668924928

        He’s getting roasted in the replies.

        1. Rhywun

          Come fix the electrical grid you monster. Your giant body will never fit in Washington, DC.

          I’m a little confused why this comment is repeated by dozens of different people. Yes, it is a bit ridiculous why he is in Iowa but do they expect him to put on a hard hat and repair transformers?

          Leave it to fucking Twitter to make me “defend” that cretin.

          1. Count Potato

            https://twitter.com/ComfortablySmug is behind it. Just like he got his followers to keep Googling “Beto is a furry” so it would come up first in auto-completions.

          2. Rhywun

            Oh, so a middle-school Twitter thing. JFC what a sewer. I don’t know how you stand it.

          3. Tulip

            I find it kinda funny because the pols react to this crap

          4. PieInTheSky

            Smug can be amusing once in a while

  37. Lackadaisical

    Apparently the city of Everett can force baristas to cover their buttocks. I bet they can still show cleavage. God damned racists.

    1. Rhywun

      Did any of them ask themselves why a barista might want to let her ass hang out?

      1. Lackadaisical

        Mein gott.

      2. Spudalicious

        Oh. My.

      3. Grumbletarian

        :insert Homer drooling gif here:

  38. PieInTheSky

    Goddamn the lines at airport security are long.

    Good very early morning glibs

    1. Nephilium

      Good morning Pie. Enjoy your vacation, don’t get a Glasgow smile while you’re there.

      1. MikeS

        *looks up Glasgow smile*

        Daayyyyum.

    2. DEG

      Enjoy the trip!

    3. Bang some Scottish hoorz.

      1. PieInTheSky

        Jeez why?

        1. What other reason is there to travel?

          1. MikeS

            Whisky

          2. PieInTheSky

            In UK for the slav hoorz or the asian hoorz

    4. PieInTheSky

      Well that was remarkably fast

    5. straffinrun

      Have a good trip.

  39. If westernsloper’s still around:

    https://www.classicfirearms.com/beretta-9mm-semi-auto-surplus-g-vg/

    This is the one I got and it rox. Did a new trigger spring (not the whole trigger job like upthread). The new trigger spring was only 15 bucks and dramatically improved it. If you’re worried about buying online, it’s really easy.

    1. westernsloper

      Oh I am not worried about buying online I just have never done it. It is more laziness. How about that, I am too lazy to shop online.

      That is a good deal. Bookmarked thanks. I am up for a promotion at work so I might have a spare 300 clams one of these days.

  40. straffinrun

    The Hill
    @thehill
    Beto O’Rourke speaks in Milwaukee, WI: “In my administration, we are going to make sure that no one is criminally prosecuted for being a human being.”

    https://twitter.com/thehill/status/1150057545207287808

    1. Great.

      That means I can finally enjoy my opium-soaked Mexican ass-sex with impunity?

      1. Count Potato

        He’s not really Mexican.

        1. MikeS

          Racist!

    2. Rhywun

      Dumbest timeline ever.

      1. straffinrun

        I’m very hungover. Tequila last night. Ugh. I honestly can’t tell if that sentence is dumb. Just looks like a random word generator.

        1. Rhywun

          He’s emoting. Don’t even try to make sense of it.

          *working on tomorrow’s hangover today*

          1. BakedPenguin

            “*working on tomorrow’s hangover today*”

            Now that’s an efficient workflow.

        2. Spudalicious

          GOOD MORNING, STRAFF!!!! HOW ARE YOU DOING TODAY?!?!?!?

          HOW ABOUT A DRUM CIRCLE?!?!?!?

          https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9Eplmop9NHE

          1. straffinrun

            Where’s that empty Cuervo bottle? Oh, there it is. Let’s see if it makes a good potato masher.

          2. KSuellington

            Joe Crow no és bueno.

            You need a higher class of tequila.

          3. Festus

            Officially the “Whitest Thing That I Have Ever Seen”.

  41. Chipwooder

    You can take the boy out of the JournoList but you can’t take the JournoList out of the boy

  42. Count Potato

    This is a cabbage:

    “Yes, Obama deported more people than Trump but context is everything | Analysis”

    https://twitter.com/CNN/status/1150107131619741699

    https://www.cnn.com/2019/07/13/politics/obama-trump-deportations-illegal-immigration/index.html

    1. straffinrun

      Fun watching Biden try to parse the differences.

    2. PieInTheSky

      What is the tldr context?

      1. Rhywun

        Obama’s higher numbers were more “targeted” and therefore Trump is a poopy-head and immigrants are scared.

        Yes, it makes zero sense.

    3. BakedPenguin

      Yeah, I’m guessing this is only being reported because CNN wants to sink Biden in hopes of more woke candidate.

  43. straffinrun

    More from The Hill.

    New York bans discrimination against natural hair

    “For much of our nation’s history, people of color – particularly women – have been marginalized and discriminated against simply because of their hair style or texture,” Cuomo said in a statement.

    “By signing this bill into law, we are taking an important step toward correcting that history and ensuring people of color are protected from all forms of discrimination,” he said.

    1. Breaking news:

      You are now legally obligated to fuck women that have a full bush.

      1. PieInTheSky

        There are full bushes and there are full bushes…

        1. Sir Digby (PBUH)

          The Fuller Bush Company.

    2. Rhywun

      Curiously lacking any examples of said discrimination. I am shocked.

      1. MikeS

        It has happened! Like, historically and stuff!

  44. egould310

    Billy Squier, eh? One time, I did a bunch of drugs at the recording studio where that album was recorded. Ten years after that album was recorded. Man, that was alot of drugs.

    1. westernsloper

      I did a bunch of drugs listening to Billy Squier once. Your story is better.

    2. straffinrun

      “A bunch of drugs”. Love the vagueness of that.

      1. egould310

        Spent 48 hours ripping bong hits, alternating with lines of speed. We left once to go to Hamburger Hamlet. The clown from the record company picked up the tab.

  45. PieInTheSky

    So what is glib etiquette on a nice cold pilsner urquell at 6 AM 8f one if leaving on vacation?

    1. egould310

      Drink up, buddy boy!

      *cheers!*

    2. Spudalicious

      A thoroughly appropriate choice for that time of day. A stout, or an Imperial IPA would have been met with derision.

    3. westernsloper

      Pretty sure drinking at 6am when leaving on vacation is mandatory.

    4. MikeS

      Prost!

    5. mikey

      From the tap?
      Anytime is the right time.

    6. Nephilium

      Airports and Las Vegas are the only two places where you can order any alcoholic drink at any time of day and not be questioned. They are the places where time isn’t real.

      1. MikeS

        They are the places where time isn’t real.

        I like that. So true.

      2. slumbrew

        Correct – airports exist outside of the conventional timestream, wherein it is always cocktail hour.

        1. Nephilium

          Too bad it’s not happy hour, and the prices have no tie to the real world.

          1. slumbrew

            Do you have any idea how expensive it is to transport that alcohol across the timestream barriers?

          2. Nephilium

            But they claim to be breweries in the airport (at least most of the ones I fly through).

            /knows they will never be brewing beer at the airport.

          3. MikeS

            There are airport “breweries” now? Huh.

          4. Nephilium

            Cleveland has Great Lakes, O’Hare and Midway have Goose Island, Denver has several, Baltimore has Flying Dog and Boston Beer. None of them brew there, but the license the restaurant for the airport. And to make a full mockery of airport security, most sell six-packs to go. You can’t be trusted to bring in a plastic bottle of water, but a sixer of glass bottles, that’s good man.

          5. MikeS

            I guess it’s been too long since I’ve been in O’Hare. Not that I’m a big fan of Goose Island…

          6. There is no such thing as “too long since I’ve been to O’Hare.” You can’t avoid that train wreck of an airport vigorously enough.

      3. Gustave Lytton

        Airports and Las Vegas are the only two places where you can order any alcoholic drink at any time of day and not be questioned.

        Unfortunately not completely correct. There are several jurisdictions that impose their blue laws on airports.

  46. PieInTheSky

    I am going to fuckin starve. I tried to make restaurant reservations for tuesday and wednsday yesterday and all i found was fully booked. My mistake is that last week i sent email hoping tk skipp having to phone call. Yesterday i started phone calls and it was too late

    1. Spudalicious

      We typically eat at the bar. We can usually walk past people waiting for a table and sit right down. Not sure how that works in Scotland.

      1. PieInTheSky

        It does not in most of Europe

      2. PieInTheSky

        Also some restaurants are closed on monday and tuesday although fully booked rest of the time.

        1. Spudalicious

          I’m sure you’ll be able to scare up a slice of haggis at the local petrol station. Does your room have a microwave?

          1. PieInTheSky

            That is not the point i dont want gas station sandwiches on vacation i want something good

    2. Rhywun

      Look at you with your fancy “reservations” and shit.

      1. ANy restaurant that insists I call ahead is not worth my money.

    3. westernsloper

      Get a few giant Toblerone bars at the airport and you will be fine.

  47. Festus

    rant on/ Just got finished doing a shit-load of yard work because my bitchy passive aggressive neighbor left an insulting post on facebook where Wifey was sure to see it Something like “It sure is nice to take my coffee outside to the patio and admire the neighbor’s manicured property.” That bitch has been living next door for 23 years and in all of that time we’ve offered help far more than requested it. Problem is that our families are entwined. Her step-son married our youngest daughter and the whole mess of blended families is close so I just gritted my teeth and made it presentable. We used to have a huge garden that overlooked her yard but it’s gone to seed over the years since the kids moved out and we’ve found different hobbies. I had some health issues last summer (she knows this) so upkeep wasn’t what it should have been. I see her point but what a cunt to vent her frustrations that way. /rant off

    1. Spudalicious

      Instead of just striking up a conversation and dealing with it as family and neighbors. Sigh…

      1. Festus

        Saw the photos from your sprinkler system ordeal and my lower back twinged in sympathy. Nice that you solved the riddle but what a painful cluster-fuck.

    2. straffinrun

      Passive aggressive BS.

    3. westernsloper

      It is times like this that the hedge on the property line must be trimmed into the shape of a penis.

      1. Festus

        Heh. We actually have a cedar right on the property line above her flower garden. It’s spherical and about 15 feet tall. Clay to be moulded, if you will. Don’t think Wifey will let me but it would be epic!

        1. westernsloper

          I figure it would be about as mature as leaving passive aggressive FB posts. If she wants to post about your yard, give her something to post about.

          1. Festus

            *looks up hedge trimmers online*

          2. Festus

            Wifey just got home from work and nixed the idea but had a good chuckle all the same.

          3. KSuellington

            That was your mistake. You should have just done it and then if questioned claimed it was just a mushroom ? and anyone who thought differently had a dirty mind.

          4. Festus

            Yeah, I shouldn’t have gone all Blofeld and announced my plan in detail.

    4. Grumbletarian

      Build that wall!

      1. Festus

        I told Wifey last night “Tall fences make for good neighbors”. I have to deal with the deteriorating retaining wall first but you’d better believe a fence is going up after that and it won’t be a white picket courtesy one either…

        1. Grumbletarian

          Good for you! Be a sport and have a mural of a post-apocalyptic wasteland painted on her side of it.

          1. Festus

            I’ll go minimalist and paint “Fuck off, Slaver!” on the bottom corner right where her flower bed starts. If i’m not allowed to sculpt a penis, what’s a man to do?

    5. PieInTheSky

      You need a nice HOA to handle this

    6. leon

      ZARDOZ SAYS: YOU MUST CLEANSE THIS MOTHER-IN-LAW OF YOUR OFFSPRING AS PENITENCE FOR YOUR TRANSGRESSION OF BRINGING HER INTO THE WORLD!

  48. MikeS

    Picked about a gallon and a half of Juneberries today. Fingertips are all purple. Anybody happen to have any favorite Juneberry recipes? Jam and pie seem to be the standard use, but I’m not really interested in either.

    Maybe this will be a good excuse to finally try wine making…

    1. Festus

      Yes!

    2. Tulip

      Chutney?

      1. MikeS

        Oooh. Interesting. Thanks for the idea.

    3. BEAM’s not a team player

      Do what we do — go get some cheapish vodka, fill a 2 U.S. quart Mason jar with the berries, pour in the vodka until you have only one to two inches of headroom, top off with a cup of sugar, seal, and gently invert again and again until the sugar’s dissolved. Then invert a couple of times a day for three months and then decant. Voila! Fruit liqueur.

      1. MikeS

        Excellent! That is definitely going to get tried. Even if it’s just a pint or two to start.

      2. Festus

        That’s a really intriguing idea. We get gallons of raspberries and gooseberries every year. Wifey makes jams from them. Alas, I can’t drink hard alcohol anymore…

        1. MikeS

          But the fruit makes it soft, Festus. You’ll be fine.

          1. Festus

            “Girl Drink Drunk”. No seriously, hard liquor messes with my digestion. Fucks with the flora. It could be gifted to others, though. That’s where most of the jam and pickles go at Xmas time.

          2. BakedPenguin

            “Girl Drink Drunk”

            Great skit.

          3. MikeS

            I’ll have a Squashed Strawberry Alley Cat, if you don’t mind.

          4. Festus

            “But I can esplain!”

      3. PieInTheSky

        Why do you need to invert daily?

        1. Nephilium

          The early ones would be to get the sugar dissolved, you could do the same by building up a simple syrup and adding it. The later ones, I would say to sterilize the fruit in contact with the air.

          1. PieInTheSky

            I am trying a no sugar recipe and first thing i poured 96% grain alcohol to cover the fruit hoping thay sterilizez them, and then top up with gin after a while. When done i plan to probably further dilute

          2. Nephilium

            Worst case, inverting and shaking it will lead to early oxidation. Best case, it prevents a random infection on the top of the fruit that are floating on top. The early sterlization is probably good, but if the container isn’t air tight, that’s a (minimal) infection vector.

          3. BEAM’s not a team player

            While a simple syrup would certainly be a timesaver, I’d be leery of adding additional water at that early a stage — might dilute the alcohol more than I’d be comfortable with. Mind you, I’ve tended to use higher alcohol vodkas and even Everclear when I was really concerned about infection…

        2. BEAM’s not a team player

          You wanna try to remove air pockets or pockets of low alcohol content (the berries will start to express their juice and if everything’s very still, you could drop below 20% ABV in some places which can lead to problems; plus, the inversion helps some softer berries to macerate).

          1. PieInTheSky

            I am not using berries though i am using something called in Romania bitter cherries, small dark quite bitter cherries traditionally used for preserves here. For booze sour cherries are used. I am experimenting

      4. BEAM’s not a team player

        I should point out that you can speed the process up by mashing the berries first (although you still need a certain amount of alcohol to keep the berries from fermenting or getting an infection). Or you can mash and then go the whole three months for more intense flavour. If you’re going the mashing route, fill the jar first, then dump the berries out, mash and refill the jar. You should have less volume of berries, but don’t top off! Just fill up with vodka and sugar as above and go through the process. Test after one month, or just let it roll for the full three.

        1. PieInTheSky

          Traditional romanian sour cherry liquor is made by just leaving fruit and sugar for a few days befor adding any alcohol. I dont like sweet things so i am thinking of experimenting with no sugar recipes

          1. BEAM’s not a team player

            IIRC, sour cherries have a fairly high acid content, don’t they? That could help ward off infection (as well as the sugar). Adding alcohol a few days later might not be a problem in that case, but I’m just guessing here.

          2. PieInTheSky

            It ususally not especially since lots of sugar is involved

          3. Festus

            I think that’s where the gooseberries would be handy because they typically aren’t ripe til about three weeks after the raspberries and those fuckers are sour as shit when they’re green.

        2. MikeS

          Thanks for the clarification as well as the other comments above. I was wondering about infection and fermentation.

          1. BEAM’s not a team player

            If the resulting product’s too sweet for your tastes, you can “dilute” it with such items as brandy, more vodka, etc. I did an apple liqueur a while back that came out too sweet and a bit rough, but four parts of that to one part brandy straightened it right out. ?

          2. MikeS

            You said you’ve used Everclear; then what? Dilute with water or a mixer of some sort?

          3. BEAM’s not a team player

            Nope. Just let the Everclear do its thing, and then decant and taste. If there’s too much alcohol (it’ll burn or numb your tongue), then it’s time to mix. Otherwise, I just treat it like any liqueur in the 30 – 40% range.

          4. egould310

            Dilute with cold gin. https://youtu.be/haU_vQl9bDY

          5. MikeS

            +6 bottles of cold gin.

            That is hands down Kiss’s best song.

          6. egould310

            Space Ace has a nice guitar.

      5. Gustave Lytton

        Use neutral spirits if vodka isn’t your thing. That’s essentially umeshu if using ume plums.

    4. straffinrun

      Substitute “June” with “Dingle” and that’s my morning today.

      1. Festus

        You own a Pomeranian, too? Small world…

  49. totally_not_an_escaped_ai

    Tales from Silicon Vally:

    The wintertime was bleak for Bird. In this year’s first quarter, the electric scooter operator lost nearly $100 million while revenue shrank sharply to only about $15 million, people familiar with the matter said. In the spring, it told people it was down to about $100 million in cash, even after raising more than $700 million over a year and a half.

    It’s crazy how fast these innovation economy companies burn cash. But, there seems to always be a greater fool who will pour yet more money into them.

  50. totally_not_an_escaped_ai

    Tales from Silicon Valley:

    The wintertime was bleak for Bird. In this year’s first quarter, the electric scooter operator lost nearly $100 million while revenue shrank sharply to only about $15 million, people familiar with the matter said. In the spring, it told people it was down to about $100 million in cash, even after raising more than $700 million over a year and a half.

    It’s crazy how fast these innovation economy companies burn cash, but there always seems to be a greater fool out there that will keep funding them.

  51. PieInTheSky

    And the fuck8n plane is still on the runway because some pasangers are still in security check. I dont get this. If you are more than 15 minutes late the plane should just fly

    1. Festus

      I thought you could travel to and fro in your Bat form. What do you need airlines for?

      1. MikeS

        To haul the coffin filled with Romanian soil.

        1. Festus

          If he’d plan ahead I’m sure there are ships leaving Varna daily.

          1. “Tulsi Gabbard Apologist”

            Do you even Dracula, brah?

  52. PieInTheSky

    Speaking of boozing berries anyone ever try to make sloe gin with no sugar?

    1. straffinrun

      I dunno. Open a whore house for quadriplegics in Helsinki? Oh, sorry. That’s how you make a slow Finn jizz.

      1. Rhywun

        How long have you been saving that one?

        1. Festus

          I dunno, how long has he been a Dad?

          1. straffinrun

            Pull my finger.

          2. Festus

            Did that to my Grandson when he was toddler. Let a huge one go and he stumbled back about five steps and fell on his keister. Huge eyes and yells out “Grampy farted” and then started crying. It was entertaining for me, at least.

          3. Sir Digby (PBUH)

            Hell, it’s entertaining to me, and I hardly know ye.

          4. Festus

            Oh come on, now! You know me all too well.

      2. KSuellington

        I’m stealing that. Next time someone says “sloe gin fizz” I am all over it.

  53. “Tulsi Gabbard Apologist”

    The Democratic Party infighting seems to boil down to trust fund kids arguing with their rich parents about not being woke enough.

    My question is- who’s going to pay their rent if this squabble goes on?

    1. “Tulsi Gabbard Apologist”

      Won’t someone think about all those renters in Williamsburg?

      How will they afford avocado toast if their parents cut them off?

    2. MikeS

      The rent is too damn high.

      That’s all I got.

  54. Tundra

    Hi peeps!

    Thanks for the lynx, Spud, I’m sure you are long gone, but the Billy Squier was an inspired choice. Don’t Say No was a humungous part of my soundtrack as a youngster. It seemed like it was everywhere for a couple years.

    It’s brutal that Billy made that horrible video and torpedoed his career.

    I liked his work.

    Here’s a fun one.

    1. Festus

      I hope he fired everyone involved in that abortion and then went to his room and had a good long think about what he did. Instead of filling middling-sized arenas he’s probably doing regional fair gigs. Too bad, he had some catchy tunes back in the long ago.

    2. MikeS

      I wore a Don’t Say No cassette right the fuck out. Loved Billy Squire.

      My favorite off the album.

      1. Tundra

        Yes. A girl named Molly at the roller rink.

        Remember those?

        1. Festus

          Indeed! I even had some moves.

        2. MikeS

          Roller rinks or girls named Molly? Ha-ha. Yes the the former, no to the later. However, there was a girl named Melissa…

          1. Festus

            Mine was named Melanie. I met her at the roller rink in 1980 and about ten years later she became first wife.

          2. Did she have a brand new pair of roller skates?

          3. Festus

            No, just rentals but I see and appreciate the joke. Mom had that on LP. God I hated that song.

          4. Tundra

            My hockey playing finally paid off. I could skate backwards while the rest of the dorks had to just awkwardly hold hands.

          5. MikeS

            My basketball playing didn’t help me at all, so I was one of the dorks.

          6. Tundra

            I would have stolen your chick.

            Until we left the rink…

            If it makes you fell any better, I got dumped once during this classic.

          7. MikeS

            Eesh. Did she cue it up on purpose?

            “Where’s that tenderness?!”

          8. Festus

            My first under-bra grope was while slow-dancing to “More Than A Feeling” by Boston with my next door neighbor named Jody. That girl later became a man that called herself Daniel. Top that, amateurs!

          9. Festus

            Yeah I could skate backward both clock-wise and counter clock-wise, do spins, go low in the corners (wherein you kneel and put your outside leg straight out to the side like an outrigger) and other fancy footwork. I thought I was the shit but then again, I was 15. Cringey memories overload.

        3. Rhywun

          We had United Skates of America within a 20-minute walk of our house. I couldn’t even count how many times I went there – school trips, even. *shudder*

          1. straffinrun

            Forever wedded to roller skating in my mind.

            https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vBfFDTPPlaM

          2. Festus

            I knew one of us would pull that one out of his ass. Nice work, Gustave!

          3. straffinrun

            Xanadont, please.

          4. Sir Digby (PBUH)

            Uh, straff….behave, now.

          5. Festus

            The sad part is that about 80% of the guys in that clip would have died of AIDS by 1990.

          6. Scruffy Nerfherder

            YOU LEAVE OLIVIA NEWTON JOHN ALONE!

    3. KSuellington

      Wow, that was an amazingly bad video. The director deserves some blame, but Billy owns that one.

    4. BakedPenguin

      Yeah, his stuff really appealed to my 12 or 13 yo self. I think that video played a huge part in his career demise, but honestly, I never liked that song, or any one I can remember from that album. Don’t Say No was an album you could (almost) just hit play and let it run.

      1. Tundra

        I agree. He seemed pretty dialed in to the market – maybe too much.

        1. Tundra

          Fuck. I was 13 when that record came out.

          *farts dust*

          1. Festus

            I was born at the tail end of 1964. *raises beer and winces*

      2. Rhywun

        He wasn’t on my radar at all and I was that exact age in 1981. I was listening to whatever my older brothers were listening to, plus the middle-of-the-road radio station – Billy Joel, Supertramp, old Beatles hits, shit like that.

        I think we got MTV around 82 or 83 – that really opened my eyes.

        1. Tundra

          I was jealous of my buddies with cable. My mom was a cool chick before it was hip and hated tv. Of course they got cable after I was long gone.

          I will say, it made me a much better scrounger of music.

        2. BakedPenguin

          Damn… we’re old dudes. We actually remember when MTV was good

          1. Tundra

            I’ll be 52 in a couple weeks. It seems impossible.

            On the other hand, I’m really fucking glad to still be here.

            I also have a bunch of the answers to this song.

          2. egould310

            Nice one.

          3. Rhywun

            Yeah, they escaped my attention for some reason. Good stuff. Then again I have always sampled here and there.

          4. straffinrun

            I’ve changed. Now I hope I get old before I die.

          5. KSuellington

            +1 Headbangers Ball aficionado.

          6. Rhywun

            One… Hundred… Twenty… Minutes!

          7. MikeS

            I remember sitting in my college dorm with my little brother one summer, playing MTV videos as loud as my 19″ Sony (STEREO!) TV would go.

            The big ones that summer were; THIS

            And THIS

          8. MikeS

            And THIS

            and THIS

          9. Gustave Lytton

            I remember that summer and I remember watching all of those on MTV at a friends house.

          10. Chafed

            I saw AIC live a couple of years ago. They still bring it.

          11. Sir Digby (PBUH)

            How’s the new singer they have? Doesn’t seem like AIC without Layne.

          12. Festus

            Stripling!

          13. straffinrun

            Whenever you consider linking that, just stop yourself and go with Outshined or Cash’s cover of Rusty Cage.

          14. MikeS

            Other than being overplayed, there’s not a thing wrong with Black Hole Sun.

          15. Festus

            Everyone likes to shit on Grunge but it really was a breath of fresh air compared to the hair metal that was dominating the market at the time.

          16. Festus

            Brother had a landlady that liked to take it up the ass. We used to sing “Black Hole Bum, Oozing Cum” whenever she’d leave the room.

          17. MikeS

            The shitty part about Grunge was that it completely killed “hair metal”. The Hair guys were were changing. Many of the better bands sounds were transforming and i wish we could have seen how it all would have turned out.

          18. straffinrun

            Not bad, just overplayed. I’m a grunge guy myself. Alice in Chains and STP.

          19. Tundra

            Bah.

            Black Hole Sun came out in 1994.

            So did this.

            The air is always fresh. I truly enjoyed some of the hair bands (RATT!!) but variety and experimentation makes me tingle.

          20. MikeS

            Later that year this was released.

          21. Rhywun

            Mid 90s were weird for me as I just graduated college and was broker than ever for a few years and didn’t listen to much new music at all. To this day my music collection has something of a gap there.

          22. Gustave Lytton

            The Hair guys were were changing. Many of the better bands sounds were transforming and i wish we could have seen how it all would have turned out.

            Queensrÿche started off as a hair metal band.

          23. BakedPenguin

            Everyone likes to shit on Grunge but it really was a breath of fresh air compared to the hair metal that was dominating the market at the time.

            Second.

          24. Tundra

            Rhywun – my boss in the mid 90s was a music freak and a groovy guy. Even years after we went our separate ways, I would get CDs in the mail, then links, of really cool shit.

            Broke kids in 2019 have no idea how awesome their musical world is.

          25. egould310

            Appetite For Destruction was the cultural shift. Hair band turned… punky heavy metal hard rock radio friendly whatever. At the time, I was punk as fuck, but GnR was a game changer.

            And I was punk as fuck, but I could groove Mötley Crüe, and Poison was pretty good. And Ratt. And yeah, Queensryche. And goddammit that Van Hagar album is pretty fucking good.

          26. MikeS

            Appetite‘ was huge. That and …And Justice For All really changed things for me.

          27. Rhywun

            Good lord I hated GnR with a passion. I was all “post-punk” by then so hearing that shit coming out of every dorm room was like fingernails on a chalkboard.

          28. Plinker762

            Mentioning Alice in Chains reminded me of this performance

            Unplugged

          29. Grumbletarian

            Everyone likes to shit on Grunge but it really was a breath of fresh air compared to the hair metal that was dominating the market at the time.

            Grunge deserves to be shat upon. Music went from an upbeat celebration of sex, drugs, and rock’n’roll to a glorification of dismay. Bands were telling teenagers how totally fine it was to be depressed, and how only they understood their pain, so long as you bought their album before you offed yourself over your existential despair.

            :raises devil horns, cranks up Bulletboys:

            https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GoLvYNAGviM

          30. Festus

            I was pushing thirty and going through an early onset mid-life crisis. Grunge was right up my alley at the time.

          31. Scruffy Nerfherder

            Grunge sucks.

            That is all.

  55. Gustave Lytton

    Picked up a bottle of Woodford Rye as it was on sale and Rittenhouse wasn’t available. Not too bad at the price. Similar to Bulleit and friends.

  56. Tres Cool

    WRT the skating thread- Im amazed nobody coughed this up:

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xQBKUPwG_Gk