Well, our accidental work emergency has passed. You’ll be shocked and amazed to find out that a bunch of people made assumptions that later turned out not to be true, causing a metric fuckton of work for me and my team. Oh, did we tell you it was REQUIRED that you do X, Y, and Z before that mandatory upgrade on Sunday night? We meant RECOMMENDED. But if you don’t you’ve got about six months before it becomes required. I am a grumpy sumbitch today after all of that.
Life has moved so far beyond parody that George Carlin’s famous take on blowjobs has become reality.
Florida House tries to blow up state Constitutional mandate. Per usual. My problem with this is that once fines and fees are converted to civil liens, they are no different than any other civil lien. Either people who have civil liens can’t vote, or they can. I’m on the side of the state Constitution is above the legislature. If it says all felons who have served their time except murderers and sex offenders can vote, then they can.
Well, shit. I guess I better get another MMR shot. My kids are going off to real school soon, and I don’t want to suffer because of some asshat’s child
Thomas Friedman likes border walls. Presumably because China has had one forever.
Eh fuggit. Let’s have some Clash.
Comments
259 responses to “Thursday Afternoon Links”
Can we wall Tommy Friedman in?
The Cask of Freidmontillado
As I was being bricked in, the bricklayer gave me a very startling insight into the inner thinking of Xi Jinping. Later, his apprentice pointed out what Teresa May needed to do in Syria to resolve the beef shortage in Argentina.
/bullshit that could be made up by Friedman and there’s no way any supposed fact checker would ever be able to verify
“…but a smart gate.”
The door is now open for Dems to reverse their immigration positions as needed.
Yeah, make it all sciencey and shit – that’ll draw them like flies.
You mean because of the shit, right?
Is it run by Maxwell’s demon?
Do the slow Mexicans stay on the south side of the wall or come to the north side? Or is he sorting based on temperature of the Mexican nor speed?
The hot ones can come over.
The hot ones can come over.
hear, hear
(maybe just slightly NSFW).
Ay caramba!
Need to check with Cliff on “Cheers” for the real science insight
Why do these guys keep sucking my dick?
Obligatory: https://www.theonion.com/why-do-all-these-homosexuals-keep-sucking-my-cock-1819584210
It sounds creepy enough:
“The lawsuit from William Floyd, a former party employee, is against former chairman Eric Bauman, the California Democratic Party, and the Los Angeles County Democratic Party. The former assistant to Bauman says he was first assaulted after falling asleep in a hotel and waking up to his boss performing oral sex on him, and that there were two more instances where he was forced to submit to Bauman.
The lawsuit also says the party failed to properly respond to Bauman’s conduct and tried to make him quit.
Bauman, who resigned due to other sexual assault allegations, denies the allegation from Floyd, according to the report.”
Always, always get a separate room and a locked door between you and any politician or government bureaucrat. If he/she can’t find a way to screw you they’ll figure out some other way that will hurt more.
I find this all very unsurprising.
Old time Marylanders may remember the OTHER Bauman, Moral Majority congressman Bob Bauman, who ended up as a wonderful (but now totally dated) riddle:
What’s the difference between Bob Bauman and Gladys Spellman?
One’s a fruit, the other’s a vegetable.
Sounds like the California TEAM BLUE might need to change their name to TEAM STEVE SMITH.
Team Blew
Oh very nice!
*widens gaze*
Ha! PeeBee is on a roll today.
Hey! They Needed the Money.
STEVE SMITH GIVER, THIS BAUMAN FELLOW TAKER.
For those of you who listen to Dan Carlin’s hardcore history. This looks interesting.
https://www.warremains.com/
Neato.
Paul Simonon was the coolest member of the Clash.
Fight me.
Technically, Joe Strummer is probably the coolest
Isn’t Paul in Green Peace now?
I don’t know about today, but he was part of some bullshit direct action a few years ago.
The Clash: brilliant music – complete retards otherwise.
Oh STFU and go back a couple decades in a time machine and remember when you made some decent music.
How dare he besmirch the good name of Paul Cook!!
I stopped looking to musicians to be the moral lodestars in my life when I was like 13. Its worked out pretty well so far.
Back in the day we didn’t know much about our musical heroes political bullshit.
It was better that way.
Kate Smith
The story about Kate Smith is outrageous. That was an attack on God Bless America and Kate Smith was the vehicle.
I don’t know man, Roger Waters seems pretty informed.
*drops some more acid*
The same general advice applies to entertainers of all kinds.
I subscribed to Downbeat Magazine in 1980. They named London Calling as one of the top ten albums of of the year, so I bought it. So glad I did.
I got it for Christmas from a cool aunt.
Still love it.
Does it involve flour and a two by four?
*backs slowly out of that article*
*speeds off on moped*
*ignites solid rocket boosters*
+1 bushel of corn
Croce
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E2cwmhCSgmk
How Not to Make Love to a Fat Girl Ever
FIFY
Everyone should do it once so they can have life experience to back up their belief that sex with a fat chick is like sex on a waterbed….
Or so I’ve been told….
I had sex with a fat hooker in 1987 just before I got married. Only time I’ve hired a hooker. What I learned about hookers from that experience is that they’re all nice and friendly when they arrive. And noticeably indifferent when they leave.
Man, you can just pay them to be indifferent after sex? This “hooker” thing is sounding better and better.
That’s the best thing about paying for sex.
Does anyone still have a waterbed? Or were they traded in for a fat girl? I’m out of the loop on both so a real question
Finally, a guide I can use.
If I assumed that, why would I be dating you?
I am approaching 50. Hopefully Mrs. TOK have a lot of years ahead of us. But if anything were to happen to her, I don’t think I could handle this new “woke dating” thing. I think I’m starting to understand the appeal that sex robots have for some people.
Yep. If Mrs. trshmnstr got hit by a bus, I think I’d stay single. What are the chances of hitting the lottery twice in a row?
I am single by choice, but dating whenever I can….
Same deal here. I hit the fuckin’ lottery totally by accident. We’d only known each other six months at the time of our wedding – how random is it that everything worked out so swimmingly?
It’s not a lottery. Figure 4% of the people you date are gonna be awesome for you – plan to go on a hundred dates. You’re pretty much guaranteed to find someone right for you.
I hear you brother. You got super lucky with that bus, why push your luck by getting married again?
Maybe with the Green New Deal, your odds will be better with all the trains and mass transit options, but I personally feel I’d never luck out again.
Sex robots are just for people too lazy to develop burner identities.
*Carlos Danger and Ron Mexico both cross their arms and nod approvingly*
Holy Shit guys. I have a great idea of a zany buddy cop movie!
Yeah, same boat. If I had to deal with bachelorhood again, I would go the escort route most likely.
What is it with the forced oral sex? It seems like that’d put the forcer in an extremely vulnerable position regardless of him giving or receiving.
Damnit, threading fail.
People who enjoy power over others are attracted to politics. Gay or straight, this is an ironclad rule.
Generally it’s the other way round – the pitcher is being forced, not the catcher.
So, herpes then?
“mostly heterosexual”
IOW, she drunkenly kissed a sorority sister in the 60s.
How about you don’t assume I won’t be dating two 25 year olds instead
True. A woman’s genitals can provide a lifetime of satisfaction if properly maintained and lubricated.
This woman assumes quite a bit. The most significant of which is that her aging vagina has some sort of special magic that I have no power to resist. What the hell does she bring to the table of value to me? I can see no shortage of problems with her, not the least of which is her presumption that I’m supposed to be okay with her neuroses.
My advice to her would be to enjoy her time with her cats.
Sorry, toots, but you’re damn right she does. However, I fully expect and acknowledge that I must also fit into her standards of desirability, and if I don’t it’s not her fault.
She used to be a 19 year old woman. So she still remembers what that was like.
Being a 19 year old woman is like being a super-hero. Your super-power is 19 year old hotness. Guys buy you stuff. They do things for you – carry things, fix things, help you buy things… You actually get annoyed by guys looking at you all the time and trying to talk to you (but you can’t find a man, because all those guys are losers).
50 year old woman has lost those super-powers. But in her mind she’s still got them. And sure, she still has the more valuable bits in the sex marketplace. But she clearly doesn’t realize that 50 year old girl bits are much less likely to make a guy stupid by their mere presence. Unless they are attached to one of those genetic freaks like Jennifer Aniston who seem to defy the calendar.
Wow. Friedman red pilled?
I’m happy to hear it.
Is McSweeney’s still any good? Haven’t been in quite some time. Please tell me it didn’t go woke like The Onion.
https://www.mcsweeneys.net/articles/create-your-own-thomas-friedman-op-ed-column
What happens when you make your definitions of racism overly broad?
Twitter: We can’t ban white supremacists because Republican politicians would get banned too
Severe eye-roll.
So, if you are a straight, cis man over 50 interested in dating women, here are some critical feminist don’ts for you. And since I am mostly heterosexual and know it more thoroughly than queerness, I will focus on that type of dating here.
Don’t date feminists. Got it.
I should probably go with the scare quotes, though. I really like women who are independent and self-assured, but I think they have been kicked out of the “feminist” treehouse.
>critical feminist don’ts
How ironic that a critical feminist would make a pun, given that a pun is a kind of joke.
New database of corrupt cops by USA Today.
https://reason.com/2019/04/25/check-out-this-new-database-of-corrupt-cops/#comments
Direct link:
https://www.usatoday.com/in-depth/news/investigations/2019/04/24/usa-today-revealing-misconduct-records-police-cops/3223984002/
Thanks, Rufus.
That’s actually a little shocking. In a good way.
Shouldn’t it just be a list of all cops?
No, some I assume are good people.
It’s the 95% that are corrupt that give the other 5% a bad name.
https://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-6960299/New-Bond-Girl-Ana-Armas-former-raunchy-role-REVEALED.html
https://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-6959505/Bond-Girl-Ana-Armas-unknown-Cuban-actress-shared-sizzling-snaps-bagging-role.html
I’d buy that for a dollar!
She’s cute. Has a little bit of a Scarlett Johanson thing going on.
JABGWAB (Just Another Bond Girl Without a Butt)
Would
Speaking of butts.
https://nypost.com/2019/04/25/instagram-butt-model-enlists-doctor-to-prove-her-rear-is-real/
She looks like a modern Bond girl. Nice choice.
Looks like they are also going old-school. Remember when summer action flick meant there would be a gratuitous sex scene tossed in, complete with boobies? They seem to be headed that way.
Maybe I should run out to Hollywood and pitch a remake of Porkey’s.
I agree! (with the second sentence)
“We have a president who wants to throw out the U.S. Constitution and install a fascist dictatorship.”
Yes, so he’s waiting until he’s re-elected to do that? Very logical.
You could’ve pulled this from 2012 GOP talking points verbatim.
After the election he’ll have more flexibility.
Wait, aren’t these the same people who prattle on about how outdated the Constitution is?
Shhh, the adults in the room are talking.
Checks and balances are awesome when you are out of power.
Our entire democracy is at risk.
How can we be at risk of losing that which we do not have?
We have a president who wants to throw out the U.S. Constitution and install a fascist dictatorship.
I’ll take ‘Rabid Progjection’ for a thousand…
As I advised in 2004 (and again in 2012), if you run an “ANYBODY BUT” campaign, you are going to lose. If you want to beat an incumbent, you have to run ON something.
What scares me is if one of the real socialists wins the primary, as they won’t be running against Trump but ON a horrible something.
The measles thing is interesting. For old Glibs:
Getting measles at 51 would truly suck.
Got mine around 1970. Documentation? LOL
I stopped going to my paediatrician after he died a couple of years ago.
/slow swallow.
I don’t even remember my family doctor’s last name from my youth. He was always “Dr. Mike”. Even the last time I saw him during a college break.
My grandpa was our doctor. I remember being chased around their house by my mom so he could give me a shot. Probably was a vaccination shot. I don’t recall.
Probably a tranquilizer so you wouldn’t run around so much.
Lol.
Pre-ritalin tranqy.
Lol
I wish somebody would send some of that the way of the monster child that lives below me. Fuck.
Look on the bright side; he doesn’t live above you.
My pediatrician got busted for child porn around 2007. What if he had a hidden camera in his office and sold explicit pictures of me? I should be getting royalties on that but I get nothing! Absolutely reprehensible.
When he did a rectal exam, were both hands on your shoulders? Or did he check for a hernia at the same time?
Not as badly as getting mumps, for the majority of you.
A couple years ago, the Minnesota Wild had mumps run through the team. Shouldn’t those guys (all younger than 30) have been immune?
Don Cherry blames the Russians…
He has softened on the Russkies.
Am I really the only one in possession of my shot record?
Possibly. My parents long since threw all that stuff away, and of course, they’re both dead now, so I can’t even ask ’em.
Didn’t you say that was because Uncle Sam was never able to find it and you got sick of being stuck?
I assume everyone in the military does. Because I hear if you report without it, you get all the shots.
If you report with it…you get every shot.
Fuck yeah. I misplaced my shot record and ended up getting HepA again at out processing because I couldn’t show i had a second dose.
I ran into some difficulty a couple of years ago when I was taking classes at a local university and I had to provide dates for MMR and other childhood vaccinations. Luckily one of the previous pediatric practices that I briefly went to as a teen had a copy of those going back to infancy. Now the state requires vaccinators to report all of that to a central state run database.
“#BREAKING An anti-Semitic attack originally called “the most brazen” the city had seen was staged by the owners of the restaurant that reported it, Winnipeg police say.”
https://twitter.com/NatashaFatah/status/1121164849374011392
https://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/manitoba/bermax-winnipeg-antisemitic-arrest-1.5109224
I hope nobody’s surprised.
They aren’t. Because by the time officials are confident enough to call a hoax a hoax, the media has moved on. So nobody learns about it.
The initial reaction is all that counts. Hate confirmed. Trump’s America… Literally Hitler.
“I swear, I saw two hulking Nigerian-looking fellows on the CCTV.”
Capitalism will kill us all.
Capitalism’s failures arise from two of its defining elements. The first is perpetual growth. Economic growth is the aggregate effect of the quest to accumulate capital and extract profit. Capitalism collapses without growth, yet perpetual growth on a finite planet leads inexorably to environmental calamity.
———-
The second defining element is the bizarre assumption that a person is entitled to as great a share of the world’s natural wealth as their money can buy. This seizure of common goods causes three further dislocations. First, the scramble for exclusive control of non-reproducible assets, which implies either violence or legislative truncations of other people’s rights. Second, the immiseration of other people by an economy based on looting across both space and time. Third, the translation of economic power into political power, as control over essential resources leads to control over the social relations that surround them.
Malthus was right. We’re going to consume all earth’s resources, and then future generations will suffer for our greed and frivolous lust for “progress”.
Shrieking hysteria, however, is limitless. This endless whining about capitalism wears me out. What’s the solution? “Oh, we’ll think of something. Just as soon as we have seized power.”
No, actual capitalism does fine.
It’s the welfare state that sucks life out of capitalism that requires eternal growth.
Capitalism collapses without growth,
Erm, no. Cause and effect are flipped. Growth collapses without capitalism.
That’s not how any of this works!
“I can’t take your shit” = Violence
Yeah, I picked up on that as well. No sense of irony that the socialism they dream of actually *is* violence and legislative truncations of other people’s rights, while capitalism means a voluntary exchange of goods, that is all.
Guardian sees where CNN and the like are pivoting and says “hold my beer”.
Again as soon as I saw “capitalism” and “environmental calamity” in the same sentence, I KNEW it was Monbiot. He has to be the most predictable writer out there.
Pretty girl smarter than ugly beta.
https://fee.org/articles/college-student-my-generation-is-blind-to-the-prosperity-around-us/
Same old bullshit as ever. Reminds me of dumb shit Frederick Pohl used to write about in his novels.
Philip Jose Farmer had an excellent rejoinder.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Riders_of_the_Purple_Wage
Every capitalist may be striving towards perpetual growth, but this doesn’t mean that everything always grows under capitalism. Businesses fail all the time. In fact, entire industries disappear. Capitalism deals with this just fine – the resources previously employed in the failed businesses and dying industries are repurposed into something for a more current industry. The problem is when the government decides that something is “too big to fail” and interferes.
That’s why supporters of capitalism say that the government’s only role is to prevent violence and uphold rights equally. You can’t take intentional deviations from capitalist ideals and then blame capitalism for the results.
Maybe if we didn’t have a leviathan government that controls nearly everything, it wouldn’t be possible for any special interests to cultivate cronyist arrangements. And once again, government interference in economic matters is not the fault of capitalism. When things like this are done, it’s almost always done with the excuse that unrestrained capitalism has resulted in bad things and has to be “reined in”.
Was the Minnesota meet-up publicized in advance?
Yep. Shoot me your email at minnetundra at geemail and I’ll make sure you get included.
Just in case you thought Monbiot wasn’t making a serious effort to envision a better world, post-capitalism…
<em.So what does a better system look like? I don’t have a complete answer, and I don’t believe any one person does. But I think I see a rough framework emerging. Part of it is provided by the ecological civilisation proposed by Jeremy Lent, one of the greatest thinkers of our age. Other elements come from Kate Raworth’s doughnut economics and the environmental thinking of Naomi Klein, Amitav Ghosh, Angaangaq Angakkorsuaq, Raj Patel and Bill McKibben. Part of the answer lies in the notion of “private sufficiency, public luxury”. Another part arises from the creation of a new conception of justice based on this simple principle: every generation, everywhere, shall have an equal right to the enjoyment of natural wealth.
Nothing says serious “futurism” like Naomi Klein and Bill McKibben. I have no idea who the other idiots are, but I’ll just assume they want us wearing grass skirts and eating grubs.
Just mentioning Naomi Klein subtracts points from your IQ.
Fuck…
“private sufficiency, public luxury”
Wasn’t that the ancient Egyptian philosophy?
“Another part arises from the creation of a new conception of justice based on this simple principle: every generation, everywhere, shall have an equal right to the enjoyment of natural wealth.”
If this means we don’t pass on huge amounts of debt to future generations, I’m on board! Probably not what he means though…
No, I think it means flat-out redistribution.
every generation, everywhere, shall have an equal right to the enjoyment of natural wealth
Okay, the 1000 generations before you say that your idea is bullshit.
Natural wealth? WTF is natural wealth? There is some magical thinking to top it all.
They want YOU eating grubs and living in mud huts. Not themselves, of course.
Tag fail? Meee?
inconceivable.
Me fail English? That’s unpossible.
Our choice comes down to this. Do we stop life to allow capitalism to continue, or stop capitalism to allow life to continue?
“It’s k-k-k-kapitalism; it’s c-c-c-coming to k-k-k-kill me.”
“REVENGE!”
In Chikin news:
Something something best timeline ever
Agreed.
It really is a proxy for so many things. Your position on Chick-Fil-A says more about you than your political party.
My position is this: great sandwiches, meh fries.
Waffle fries are in their own category.
Been a couple times. Sandwich was OK, not any better than Wendy’s spicy chicken IMHO. Agree on the fries.
SHUT YOUR DIRTY WHORE MOUTH!!!
*hugs Chik-Fil-A sandwich and whisper, “don’t listen to that douchebag, you’re the greatest”*
Can’t I just eat a chicken sammich in peace?
You may not care about chicken-sandwich-politics, but chicken-sandwich-politics care about you.
Seriously, I am friends with a large number of very level-headed progressives. But get them started on chicken-sandwich-politics and they lose their mind. Never mind the fact that we on the left can make a list as long as [redacted] of companies that support policies we are diametrically opposed to. The fact that 1 business, somewhere, is owned by people who they think are icky is the biggest problem in the world.
I hear you. I really do.
Then I laugh my ass off when the obvious butch lesbian manager at my local Chick-fil-a tells me it was her pleasure.
Impossible. They hate gays there. It is an established fact.
Or something.
They hate them so much they give them Sundays off. So they can go to church.
They don’t have to go, but it’s still hateful. It’s the thought that counts.
ITT Mexican Sharpshooter gives please to lesbians.
My wife’s old boss was a lesbian. Super nice and chill but God have mercy on earth if you mention chicken politics.
Ultimately I don’t care about people’s personal chicken-sandwich politics. What really pisses me off is the government making that decision for you. My mayor and governor pull this shit all the time. Yeah, well, I didn’t vote for you assholes so back off.
They are still pissed after they went after Chick-fil-A the first time and were told to fuck off. I think I remember one instance where the protesters took a lunch break and ate in the Chick-fil-A they were protesting at.
They are gonna keep taking runs at them. Chick-fil-A is gonna keep handing them their asses.
I’ve related before about sharing my Chik-Fil-A I was brazenly eating in front of my woke friends and having them comment, “Well, if bigotry makes the chicken taste this good maybe a little bit is okay” and similar remarks.
Bigotry now means holding personal religious beliefs that were standard issue a few years ago. No hostility required. The woke view is dogma as pure and simple as that held by any other Torquemada or Savonarola. Disagreement about any facet is heresy and must be punished. I wonder what it is in us as humans that finds enforcing lock step conformity so desirable?
Yeah, that whole thing was amazing. As a *real* libertarian, I support having whatever relationship you want with whatever person you want. Enjoy. And I also support being able to run a wholesome, family-oriented, Christian based restaurant… particularly if they make a really good sandwich and waffle fries.
So despite having marched for gay rights back in the early 80’s, I also went to Chik-Fil-A on boycott day and bought the kids some nuggets. And I splurged and got myself 2 sandwiches.
Screw all Nazis of all political stripes.
‘Man Tax’ cafe goes out of business after just two years
For an 18% surcharge on my meals I would be expecting an extra consideration. IFKWIMAITYD.
You probably don’t want that from angry feminist types IYKWIM
There is a special place in hell for people who title every email “PLEASE READ SUPER IMPORTQANT” and then write the whole email up in a stupid purple font serif font and spend 4 paragraphs talking about non-important bullshit.
Ahh I think we may share a client. Do they also tell you that they don’t need you to prepare a document, but could you please just look it over ‘real quick” (translation don’t send me a bill) and then attach 3 pages of steaming illiterate garbage that meets none of the statutory requirements for said document? And then get mad when you tell them it will be $200 if they want you to draft it from scratch or $2000 if you have to fix their mess?
This is my daughter’s dance teacher / musical director.
This is my daughter’s dance teacher / musical director.
Then you really can’t expect anything better.
I’m never letting my wife pick my kids extracurricular activities again, I’ll tell you that. (Its easy, I want to pick exercise, martial arts, and shooting guns. She wants to pick dance and gymnastics for the boy. Its not even close to a fair fight)
If he sticks with gymnastics, he will be the buffest guy in his high school.
My response time is directly proportional to the number of all caps words in the email subject line.
From Almighty Jb’s FEE link:
Democratic Congresswoman Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez recently said to Newsweek talking about the millennial generation, “An entire generation, which is now becoming one of the largest electorates in America, came of age and never saw American prosperity.”
Never saw American prosperity. Let that sink in. When I first read that statement, I thought to myself, that was quite literally the most entitled and factually illiterate thing I’ve ever heard in my 26 years on this earth.
I’m in love with this woman.
Old fish says to the young fish, “How’s the water?” Young fish says, “What’s water?”
#MeToo
“An entire generation, which is now becoming one of the largest electorates in America, came of age and never saw American prosperity.”
I remember hearing all that same shit when I was a teenager in the 70s. And we really had an actual recession going on then.
”I see all this potential, and I see squandering. God damn it, an entire generation pumping gas, waiting tables; slaves with white collars. Advertising has us chasing cars and clothes, working jobs we hate so we can buy shit we don’t need. We’re the middle children of history, man. No purpose or place. We have no Great War. No Great Depression. Our Great War’s a spiritual war… our Great Depression is our lives. We’ve all been raised on television to believe that one day we’d all be millionaires, and movie gods, and rock stars. But we won’t. And we’re slowly learning that fact. And we’re very, very pissed off.”
>I see all this potential, and I see squandering. God damn it, an entire generation pumping gas, waiting tables; slaves with white collars.
Fuck you you nihilist piece of shit. You think you are better than a gas station attendant, a waitron, or a mail room clerk. Fuck you. You aren’t better than that. Working a job you don’t like because it supports your family is one of the highest callings there is for a human. Fuck you.
Tyler WAS the villain,so…
Is that what that’s from? Makes sense. I hated that movie, never read the book.
Yep, it was Tyler’s big speech at the first “official” meeting.
Your response reminds me of Randal’s retort to Dante near the end of Clerks: “Oh fuck you! Fuck you, pal! Jesus, there you go. Trying to pass the buck. I’m the source of all your misery. Who closed the store to play hockey? Who closed the store to go to a wake? Who tried to win back his ex-girlfriend without even discussing how he felt with his present one? You want to blame somebody? Blame yourself! [mimicking] ‘I’m not even supposed to be here today.’ You sound like an asshole! Jesus, nobody twisted your arm to be here. You’re here of your own volition. You like to think the weight of the world rests on your shoulders, like this place would fall apart if Dante wasn’t here. Jesus, you over-compensate for havin’ what’s basically a monkey’s job. You push fuckin’ buttons! Anybody could waltz in here and do our jobs. You, you’re so obsessed with making it seem so much more epic, so much more important than it really is. Christ, you work in a convenience store, Dante, and badly, I might add. I work in a shitty video store, badly as well. You know, that guy Jay’s got it right, man, he has no delusions about what he does, what he is. Us? We like to make ourselves seem so much more important than the people that come in here to buy a paper or God forbid, cigarettes. We look down on them as if we’re so advanced. Well, if we’re so fuckin’ advanced, what are we doin’ working here?”
Never read the book. I liked the movie. I thought at the time that the whole “revolution because our jerbs suck” thing was kind of stupid, but the emasculation of men in society hit home. Twenty years later, that’s truer than ever.
They have to work a job they don’t like in order to afford stuff they want and need. Welcome to the real fucking world, it’s what human beings have been doing for tens of thousands of years and that ain’t gonna change.
No, really… most people do exactly what they dream of doing. All writers know this. Those guys picking up your trash… that’s what they were meant to do. And those guys mopping tar on that roof in the 100 degree heat? Yeah, that’s what they always dreamed of.
It is just the odd writer and maybe an actor or two who were not able to earn a living at their chosen profession and had to “slum it” with their lessers who actually enjoy busing tables.
Im running up to my 4th decade on this planet and I am sure I have heard that statement at least 4 different times, once per decade.
As said here…if you think there isnt prosperity, then you aint looking at all.
Never saw American prosperity.
The salary of the average American is one of the highest in the world. Only 0.5% of all people live in nations with higher average salaries. If you’ve never seen prosperity in America, it’s because you weren’t looking for it.
Half of the world’s top 1% income earners live in the United States. If you make $15 an hour, you’re among the wealthiest people in the world.
It isn’t even about the $$. What about what you can do today as a common dude that even the wealthiest bastard alive couldn’t do x amount of years ago?
What would AOC’s life have been like if she was born in 1970? She wouldn’t have had a cell phone or internet access to tweet, instagram or whatever it is that she does until she was in her 30’s.
Without social media, she would have been tending bar and only annoying a few unlucky bastards who happened to run into her in meat space.
All her fame and notoriety is because our country has become so wealthy by finding ways to give commoners a way to connect with each other.
And you live in a day and age where rampant capitalism has made stuff insanely cheap. So even on minimum wage you eat better than any king of any nation anywhere in the world could have dreamed 200 years ago. You have cheap fruit from around the world, year round. Nobody on the planet had that even 100 years ago.
You also have access to cheap technology such that you probably have a large-screen high-definition TV in your home that only cost a day or two’s wages. And a cell phone that comes with internet access and gaming capabilities that were unheard of on any platform 25 years ago.
And clothing made from microfibers that are finer than the finest silks, available to that $15 per hour worker for less than an hour’s wages. That was impossible for even an upper middle class worker wanting to buy merely cotton only 30 years ago.
A pair of high quality denim jeans costs less today than it did in the 70’s. And that’s actual dollars, not inflation adjusted dollars.
The only thing that isn’t insanely cheaper than it was 50 years ago is healthcare, but the level of healthcare available is not even comparable. The 60’s was barely out of the era of bloodletting, comparatively speaking. Well, there’s also the price of petroleum. Gas was probably cheaper in adjusted dollars back then.
Even just the Internet is an amazing leap in quality of life. You can learn almost any skill, run businesses entirely online, learn new languages, talk to people from all over the world and gain new perspectives, access tons of classic literature and poetry, watch operas with subtitles in your language, listen to a colossal menu of classical music symphonies, read scientific studies, and meet up with people who share your hobbies, and order almost any product imaginable to be on your doorstep in two days.
If you told someone in the ’70s that this portal would be available in your home for the monthly cost of a few cases of soda, they’d look at you like you’re insane. But here it is.
Tom Woods is right – socialists are a bunch of stinking ingrates. They live in one of the most prosperous, comfortable times in history (where you’re free to devote your life to stupid victimhood ideologies) and all they do is complain.
The Florida legislature has a habit of doing this to things we vote for: See the mess that it is medical marijuana.
Not entirely related, but I wrote a good deal of a rewrite of the Florida corporate statutes over the last 5 years (I had first edit, then it went before two lawyers older and smarter than me, then before a committee which I was on). Passed the House 117-0 today, though they tore out one thing we spent three months on, which sucks. Seeing how legislatures go through things you wrote is somehow worse than normal legislative bullshit.
I assume corporate guardianship of orphans made it through, right?
Don’t get me started. They wanted to change my bill so we’d only be allowed 50 monocle-polishing orphans each. I used my vast stores of Koch Brothers cash to buy that out of the bill.
I meet the best parents in Cub Scouts.
Parent: Do I really need to show up exactly at 10:43 AM? Why did you schedule the event to start then?
My New Favorite Leader: Just to fuck with you.
Parent: So… Do I really need to show up at 10:45 AM?
New Favorite Leader: Do you want to be 2 minutes late?
I’m really jealous. We tried Cub Scouts way back when and it was a disaster. Hyperactive dork kids and clueless mothers. The leader’s kid was the biggest fuckhead of the group and his dad didn’t do shit. We went for a few meetings and then had the following conversation:
Spawn 1: Dad, do we have to go again?
Me: No.
I’m sure scouting would have been fun for him under different circumstances.
It really is almost entirely dependent on having good leadership. My son has loved scouting, but for all but the last year of Cubs, the den leaders were great. I think we have that again with his new Boy Scout troop. They don’t coddle – they truly are hands-off and make the boys learn how to run things themselves.
The brief period in which our youngest joined, the leader played wannabe Marine. He was an asshole and wanted to exert his authority on little kids to make him feel better about himself.
I don’t know if this has been mentioned here before, but it has been confirmed that there is seismic activity on Mars:
Let’s hope it’s not a Balrog.
I read that as “Semitic activity on mars”
That would’ve been a much more news-worthy find.
Oy vey.
That’s just what (((They))) wanted you to read.
a related documentary
It is the Promised Land, after all
Probably those herds of thoats running around.
Meh.. if it is a Balrog, it is safely tucked away on Mars. Can’t get us here. Until Musk sends his new Starship to Mars, anyway.
Iowahawk is gonna have a great time over the next 18 months
I’m just looking forward to calling him Camaro Joe.
My wife just brought a box of this home and I had to laugh at the cover: Sour Patch Kid massacre
I think that’s a sign of the Apocalypse.
Look at the ingredients!
https://www.postconsumerbrands.com/sour-patch-kids/wp-content/uploads/sites/48/2019/01/nutrition_SPK-1.png
Serving size just over an ounce, calories 140. It has slightly MORE calories than an equivalent mass of sugar, and sugar is the first ingredient. Part of your healthy breakfast… Your kids would be better off eating candy bars and taking a vitamin pill lol.
https://www.menshealth.com/sex-women/a27255036/jason-rogers-olympics-fencing-performance-anxiety/
“The silver medalist opens up about male performance anxiety”
Ok…
“For a brief period, I even dated several men”
I think I see the problem here.
“it did teach me to view sexuality not as a binary choice but, instead, as something that falls on a spectrum”
FFS. Your non functional dick is totes woke.
“Anxiety is the enemy of arousal.”
Foiled again!
I wanted to say that it’s okay to be gay. But then I read the article: it must be something else.
It is insufficient that you are “just” gay – your sexual choices come with an entire set of laws and commandments that inform every aspect of your life.
I’m glad that I had no need for dating in the last 14 years.
It reminds me of that scene from Roxanne. Steve Martin’s character is talking to his romantic rival about the date he had last night with Daryl Hannah. He says he “couldn’t…. you know…..”
Steve smiles a sigh of relief and says “that’s ok, it happens..”
“… I couldn’t do it the third time,” the rival finishes his sentence.
OFFS indeed
What, no swordfighting jokes?
I tried to start a pun thread, but no one here appreciates my rapier wit.
I’m sorry I missed it. It cuts me to the quick.
I’m not sure what the point of that article is.
Someone you never heard of needed to navel-gaze. Don’t belittle his lived experience.
Whoever posted that Manhattan Institute link about the Magical Thinking of the GND, thank you. It was majestic and brutal.
Linky?
Here.
Thank you sir!
I believe it was Yusef, and yeah, I mean, by the end of the Executive Summary I was thinking, “Well, that’s a wrap hippies. Pack it up, you’re done.”
Also: Anatomy of a hit job.
I read that earlier; straight-up character assassination.
I know he’s an older gent, but “always have your own recording” seems like a baseline precaution these days.
Eaton deserves a public lynching. He’s a royal piece of shit.
That photo of him that he posted proves he intent, not ‘accidentally made a minor mistake’.
I understand the libel laws in the UK are far stricter than the US but even here I’d think that picture would be some nice evidence of “actual malice”.
Yeah, even here in the US I’d think he has a credible case for libel, even as a public figure. Particularly after posting a picture of him drinking champagne and bragging about having gotten the guy fired. There’s no way to interpret that other than proof of his intent.
The politicians who were willing to sacrifice Scruton without even reviewing the evidence also deserve a public lynching.
“George Eaton has already apologized for his behavior on social media and his thoughtless Instagram post, which he deleted.”
Yeah, he deleted the post because he had an attack of conscience. Uh huh.
Hockey time!
Now we see if Tampa was a ridiculous paper tiger or if Columbus is the real deal.
Hey slum! This will be a fun series.
Who is your home team?
I’m an insufferable Bostonian. Title Town! (suck it, Pittsburgh – that mantle has moved on).
Good of the Sox to keep us humble.
My cat.
I wish I had something that gave me as much joy as string does that cat.
I keep all the cat toys under an end-table on top of which one of my cats sleeps. Once every other evening or so, she takes them out one by one to play with and when berserker mode is over I move them all back.
When I was a kid, our house had a oval path between the kitchen, living room and dining room and connecting hallways. My father would tie a squirrel tail to a string and my 5 year-old self would run himself out around that oval being chased by the two cats who let us live in the house with them. When the cats were really into the chase the dog and my kid sister would join in.
Kid Sister would get wiped out in a turn by a cat or dog after a few laps, then the dog would lose interest after a few more. Me and the cats though would go until the squirrel tail had pretty much been shredded.
Good times.
My cat doesn’t give a fuck.
Uh… is that footage of your kill floor? All that plastic sheeting and tarps… looks like Dexter’s fantasy workshop.
No comment.