Thursday Morning Links

 

Good morning my Glibs and Gliberinas!  And what a glorious morning it always is as yesterday’s Mueller Time was a complete and utter fucking disaster.  It was so entertaining that Sloopy stayed home watching the debacle, unable to pull away.  The biggest takeaway of the whole thing was what many of the kooky, crazy, fringe internet sleuths have been saying for well over a year now, Mueller was clearly not running that investigation but Andrew Weissmann and others on his team were.  Mueller, the great savior of the left, appeared to be mentally unfit and knew little to nothing of the investigation that he allegedly ran for two years.  It’s astounding that the left banked on this disaster, they even held mock hearings.  For those of you who missed out, take some time today to watch clips, well worth it.  My excitement level for the pending IG report is even higher now.

 

In other news, Puerto Rico’s president to stepping down.

 

Sweden, being batshit crazy Sweden, has charged rapper A$AP Rocky with assault despite video evidence he tried defusing situation.

 

Epstein found injured in cell.

 

Bette Midler is a racist.

 

That’s all I got for today.  I’ll leave you with a song and move along with my day.

Comments

577 responses to “Thursday Morning Links”

  1. Scruffy Nerfherder

    Over/under on how long before Epstein is found dead?

    1. blackjack

      Another Clinton related “suicide.”

      1. “The prisoner was found with twelve shiv wounds in the back and the the letters ‘P’, ‘E’, ‘D’, and ‘O’ carved in his chest. We have ascertained that the injuries were self-inflicted.”

      2. DEG

        Will he shoot himself in the back of the head?
        Stab himself 12 times in the back?
        Strangle himself with his bare hands?

        1. Festus

          Nah. He was just trying a “Carridine” and took it a little too far. Or conversely, you guys are probably right…

    2. straffinrun

      Accused pedophile and wealthy Manhattan financier Jeffrey Epstein was found injured and in a fetal position inside his cell at a New York City jail

      Does Planned Parenthood have an alibi?

    3. WTF

      They’re not sure if he a deadman switch set up, so this was just a warning.

      1. Oh that would be fun if all the accumulated blackmail material got released into the wild.

    4. PieInTheSky

      Can’t even get good assassins these days

      1. Does that mean Abstergo is winning?

    5. Social Justice is Neither

      Looking for a betting line or a go fund me price?

  2. Mornin’ Banjos

    1. Banjos

      Mornin’

    2. straffinrun

      Evening Banjos sound better.

      1. It’s morning here.

        1. PieInTheSky

          no it certainly is not

          1. *looks around*

            Nope, still morning.

        2. Tejicano

          I concur. Evening Banjos!

          1. Tejicano

            Looks like evening to me, but I’ve been drinking.

          2. straffinrun

            Was it you that called me? Press 1 if “yes” and I’ll call you back at that number. If Rapha, press 2.

          3. Tejicano

            Not I.

          4. It was not I, good sir.

          5. straffinrun

            Ah. Prolly Mustang. Just hate calling numbers that I don’t have a name attached to.

          6. Not Adahn

            Banjos is obviously at the center of a temporal vortex, existing simultaneously in morning, afternoon and evening. Which is how she’s able to ride herd on all the glibspawn.

    1. Drake

      I was thinking of this guy.
      https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/f/fd/Droopy_dog.png

      Mueller looked like he wanted to be sleeping under a porch.

      1. WTF

        I was thinking of this.

      2. Festus

        Having only watched excerpts, I wanted to go sleep under the porch. That poor, befuddled, evil old man.

  3. Old Man With Candy

    In my “list of fascinating things,” watching the hearings fell slightly below “trimming my toenails.”

    1. AlmightyJB

      I know right

    2. Banjos

      Ya’ll are fucking nuts. Politics has never been this entertaining.

      1. AlmightyJB

        I am nuts, but that’s beside the point. The Russia thing was entertaining for a minute, but I’m bored with it already. I mean how long can I be entertained by the Dems slapping pies in their own faces. Good for a chuckle but not blowing an afternoon on it.

      2. Jarflax

        Sorry just not that into kabuki.

        1. cyto

          Except this time it wasn’t kabuki. It was a bunch of clowns desperately trying to prove that they were the dumbest one in the room.

    3. Festus

      If your toenails are anything like mine then trimming them is an adventure (safety goggles required by OSHA).

    4. Crusty Juggler

      Pictured: OMWC’s toenails.

      So, yeah…when he trims his toenails it’s quite the…you know…I mean someone has to do it…

      1. Jarflax

        Hi Crusty

        1. Crusty Juggler

          Stop stalking me.

    5. Rufus the Monocled

      Worse. Trimming the little hairs on your toes.

      1. bacon-magic

        You don’t have toes ya muppet.

  4. I also heard he was blanking out on what Fusion GPS was. And once again, nothing will come of this hearing.

    Morning Banjos from the Far East.

    1. Banjos

      Mornin’

    2. Pope Jimbo

      Everyone knows Fusion GPS is headquartered in Aleppo.

      Maybe GayJay and Mueller could make a run in 2020?

  5. blackjack

    I feel like his testimony really made the report “come to life.” Exactly to the extent it had any life, to start with.

    1. AlexinCT

      Zombies!

  6. blackjack

    Mornin’, btw.

    1. Banjos

      Mornin’

    1. “I’m not sorry I called the fop a clown. I’m sorry that you got bothered by it.”

    2. OBJ FRANKELSON

      Insulting a Chicago union boss sounds like a good way to end up taking a swim in lake Michigan wearing cement crocs.

  7. Suthenboy

    “Bette Midler is racist”

    What color is her dog?

    Jeebus, the replies on the mock hearings tweet. What flavor is that kool-aid anyway?

    1. Alright, time for trashy to show his ignorance. I know the name bette midler and the impression I have is that she was an actress in the 50s. I couldn’t pick her out of a lineup or name one thing that she has done.

      1. straffinrun

        Think Barbara Streisand in drag.

        1. Now all I see is a coastal house with garish eye makeup smeared around the windows.

        2. AlmightyJB

          That’s actually a perfect description:) lol

        3. Suthenboy

          And straffin gives me my first laugh of the day.

        4. You joke, but damn if it wasn’t accurate

        5. Scruffy Nerfherder

          *golf clap*

        6. bacon-magic

          Did you ever know that you’re my hero?

          1. pistoffnick

            You, sir, are the wind beneath my wings!

          2. Cy

            I put a spell on you…

      2. AlmightyJB

        Just be glad you’re not old enough for this. Was a huge hit in my early HS years.

        https://youtu.be/aXXqDWsCzuk

        1. Ted S. to the rescue with worse music:

          https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=0iAzMRKFX3c

          From the ultimate chick flick.

          1. AlmightyJB

            ,*shudders*

        2. This is actually a decent song. The Ted shared, however, is cloying treacle.

      3. Festus

        Got her start a singer in the gay bathhouses of NYC. Big time lefty. Had a respectable film career. Bold, brassy caricature of a New York Jewess of a certain age. Funnier than Joy Behard but just as insufferable.

      4. Scruffy Nerfherder

        I always thought of her as Barry Manilow’s personal fag hag.

        I apologize if our resident homosexual glibs are offended by this term.

        1. Rhywun

          Meh, I’ve had one or two over the years.

          1. SugarFree

            The pudgy barnacles of gay life.

      5. Old Man With Candy

        Got a bad injury from George Costanza during a softball game.

        1. Rhywun

          ^ This is really all she’ll remembered for.

          1. Rasilio

            No she’ll be remembered much more for this…

            https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0107120/

      6. Not Adahn

        She’s an alternative timeline version of Paula Deen.

        1. Scruffy Nerfherder

          What did Paula ever do to you to deserve that?

      7. Stinky Wizzleteats

        Just google “Beaches” and have a watch. You’ll love it.

        1. OBJ FRANKELSON

          Paging barfman. Barfman, please pick up the white courtesy phone.

      8. Rufus the Monocled

        Rochelle, Rochelle.

      9. Sean

        https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0091877/

        Ruthless People. Watch it, you must.

    2. AlmightyJB

      DNC has a fully staffed troll brigade.

      1. Yup. I remember seeing a study somewhere (too lazy to find the link) that 25-40% of all political tweets are paid trolls.

        1. “All of them being the twits that disagree with me”

        2. Certified Public Asshat

          That doesn’t sound like a terrible gig.

          1. WILL SHITPOST FOR $

      2. Banjos

        I think that shit backfires as it makes the left look like a mob of assholes to outside onlookers.

    3. Suthenboy

      Huh. Quick DDG says grape. Cherry was always my favorite.

      1. Nephilium

        *cough cough*

        Flavor Aid, not Kool Aid.

    4. Yeah and hell, it makes it even more hilarious that they had mock hearings considering how much of a wreck the actual hearing was.

    5. PieInTheSky

      If I ever make it to the states I will make it a point not to taste kool-aid

      1. You won’t be missing anything. It’s sugar water with artificial flavorants.

        1. PieInTheSky

          In a Scotland store I saw, besides beer, bud light. Never saw it in Romania. Decided to try it. It had a good color pouring down the sink.

          1. Scruffy Nerfherder

            In an pinch, you can use it for a piss test substitute.

          2. Look, if you didn’t listen to me, that’s understandable. But that you didn’t listen to the beer guys as well, that’s on you.

        2. A Leap at the Wheel

          It’s sugar water with artificial flavorants.

          Yes, I agree that it is delicious.

          1. Depends on the flavor.

      2. Banjos

        I’d be more concerned about Flavor Aid.

        1. PieInTheSky

          Never heard of that till now. And I spend a lot of time on the interwebz

        2. straffinrun

          Keeping up with the Jonestown.

      3. https://www.official-esta.com/visa-waiver-program/esta-for-romanian-citizens

        C’mon Pie do it! We can even set up a GoFundMe for the plane ticket and Glibs will put you up.

        1. PieInTheSky

          My current travel plans are a cheap city break to Berlin to go to the Cadenheads shop and buy more whiskey as I was prevented by luggage limitations when I was at the one in Campbeltown

          1. Oh, come on. Glibs are surprisingly friendly people in real life.

          2. DEG

            Bigotry of low expectations.

      4. AlmightyJB

        It’s only purpose is to mix with 190 grain alcohol.

        1. Festus

          And then wake up in a different city.

          1. AlmightyJB

            Yeap

        2. PieInTheSky

          riot punch?

          1. AlmightyJB

            Poor man’s Harry Buffalo but yeah, you’ve got the idea.

      5. Crusty Juggler

        If I ever make it to the states I will make it a point not to taste kool-aid

        Racist.

  8. “Epstein found injured in cell.”

    Jeez, the Clinton Suicide Assistance Technicians must be losing a step, they’d never botch a job like this in the past.

    1. They were just sending him a message about which president to emphasize when he spills the beans.

      1. “It was Kennedy!”

        1. “Wannafud?”

          1. Cacciatore

            The large man approaching Epstein in the showers says:

            “Gonnafud!”

    2. Not Adahn

      Ever since they joined the SEIU, they haven’t been putting in the same effort.

      1. And you get a complaint if you have the assassin assassinated to keep them quiet.

    3. Rufus the Monocled

      The neat thing about this is pedos do tend to get whacked in prison serving as a perfect layer of protection for the Clintons!

      ‘Epstein was found dead from a blow to the head today. Autopsy concluded it was suicide.’

  9. PieInTheSky

    When you’re not sure how the day is going to go.

    https://twitter.com/klara_sjo/status/1153840325439426560

    1. AlmightyJB

      Nice

    2. Must be nice knowing you’ll not need more than four shots.

      1. Don Escaped Texas

        I laughed

    3. WTF

      That is a pretty gun.

      1. Now all I’m wondering is “Does it have Three triggers, four triggers, or some sort of selector system?”

        1. Tejicano

          Usually they have a selector switch. I’ve never fired a drilling but I’ve read about them.

        2. Count Potato

          Four-barrel combination rifles generally have a selector and two triggers.

          1. Atanarjuat

            I’m not a huge gun guy, so I just admired the general artistry and craftsmanship of the thing and clicked away. But you just made me wonder, holy crap, how end-heavy is a gun with four barrels?

          2. Count Potato

            I’ve never seen one in real life, much less picked one up. Anyway, from the pictures I’ve seen vierlings have relatively short barrels and long stocks.

          3. straffinrun

            It’s Japanese made?

          4. AlmightyJB

            “I just admired the general artistry and craftsmanship of the thing”

            That’s how I first became interested in guns as a yute.

          5. Cacciatore

            Thank you for spelling yute correctly. Some folks around here claim it’s yoot, and that’s like pineapple on pizza!

      2. Count Potato

        I’m guessing it’s one of these:

        http://www.hallowellco.com/vierling.htm

    4. Scruffy Nerfherder

      That looks quite economical.

    5. DEG

      Nice.

  10. PieInTheSky

    I think the combo joke here is what did Rutger Hauer know to be offed before the Muller hearing ?

    1. blackjack

      I worked on his bike once. It was a soft ail and his complaint was that wouldn’t go more than 60 in second gear. I told him I’ve never seen one that will go 60 in second gear. He said, in a thick accent, you’ll see when the bike gets delivered. Turns out, he bought it in Europe and the speedo was in kilometers.

      1. Actors are usually not geniuses.

        1. It’s not a requirement of the job, no.

  11. Thursday Thots doing their best impersonation of classy babes.

    https://tinyurl.com/y66fztpm

    1. 10 and 19, hell yeah brother. Thanks as usual, Mistah Q.

  12. “Within 30 minutes of the end of his sad, near-senile performance lasting more than six hours, MSNBC’s out-for-Trump’s-blood commentators had turned to asking defeated Missouri Democrat ex-Sen. Claire McCaskill to describe to viewers how the Russians are promoting the anti-vaccine movement.”

    https://issuesinsights.com/2019/07/24/muellers-muttering-maundering-snoozefest/

    ROOSKIES! ROOSKIES EVERYWHERE!

    1. Scruffy Nerfherder

      The grand poobah of the left’s legal scholars, Laurence Tribe, often said to be on Democratic presidents’ list for the Supreme Court, tweeted at lunchtime: “Much as I hate to say it, this morning’s hearing was a disaster. Far from breathing life into his damning report, the tired Robert Mueller sucked the life out of it. The effort to save democracy and the rule of law from this lawless president has been set back, not advanced.”

      Tribe is a total ass. As long as there’s a D after the name, he would go along with anything the President decided to do. What an empty suit.

      1. WTF

        The effort to save democracy and the rule of law from this lawless president
        The rule of law? Like enforcing immigration laws? Like the presumption of innocence?
        What a hack.

        1. B.P.

          And nothing saves democracy like orchestrating a take down of a duly elected president.

    2. straffinrun

      Could you repeat that?

      1. Festus

        Not within his purview.

        1. straffinrun

          *Fingers at stack of papers*

      2. bacon-magic

        It’s in the report.

        1. leon

          Bacon Magic!!!!!!!!

          1. bacon-magic

            Hi!

          2. leon

            Feel like I haven’t seen you round.

          3. Have you been saying the right incanctations while sprinking bacon dust on your breakfast?

          4. Sean

            Wouldn’t that be Canadian bacon-magic?

          5. bacon-magic

            Oh I’m round.

    3. Stinky Wizzleteats

      The Russians have become the stand in troublemakers for those who consider antisemitism to be a bad thing. It’s the left’s version of “dirty Jews.”

      1. leon

        “It’s the left’s version of “dirty Jews.”

        Which itself is not surprising to hear these days either.

        1. OBJ FRANKELSON

          If there is one thing that the fringes of both the left and right agree on its that it is the Jews’ fault.

          1. Cacciatore

            I larfed.

  13. PieInTheSky

    An Electric “Humm” To Make You Smarter?

    http://blogs.discovermagazine.com/neuroskeptic/2019/07/21/an-electric-humm-to-make-you-smarter/#.XTmMc3tRVaS

    who want to try it and report?

    1. Count Potato

      Site is down. So maybe their webmaster should try it.

      1. PieInTheSky

        well I dunno what happened

        1. blackjack

          they all went to the airport wearing orange sheets to beg for change, likely.

  14. Finally had my last day of work today, felt surreal clearing out my desk, but alas. Also got about another week left in my small town so I’ll probably just chill by the bayside and have a couple brewskis and grilled meat on a stick with noodles over the next few days.

    1. Do you have a new job lined up?

      1. PieInTheSky

        Not in old Nippon it seems. There is plenty work in Romania though. The wages aren’t much…

      2. Not exactly, but I do have some leads I can check out back Stateside once I move back.

        1. Well, good luck in your search.

        2. PieInTheSky

          But are you sure you want to move back when Trump is still president?

          1. You have no idea how many people I know back home IRL who have asked me that exact question unironically.

            So far, I’ve just answered with a “Yeah, I just care about being back with my family and having a job.”

        3. egould310

          Email me at my handle at g mail if you are interested in field examination/auditing for the Asset Based Lending industry.

          1. Oh, thanks, I’ll take a note for damn sure at the very least. Really appreciate it, friend.

    2. PieInTheSky

      Go streaking (unless you can be jailed for that sort of thing. In that case get drunk first to have an excuse in court. )

      1. I’m on good terms and got a few Japanese cop buddies, I don’t wanna make shiz awkward.

    3. straffinrun

      Good for you. Enjoy those in-between times. I’m in-between worked to death and death. And I’m enjoying it, dammit.

      1. Aye, will do. Hope you get some breathing room, but glad you’re enjoying it.

    4. Does that mean you’re moving back to the US? Or did you find another job in Nippon?

    5. Nephilium

      Coming back to the US, or are you going to continue watching us from afar?

      1. For you and Q, yeah, I’m moving back to the good ol’ US of A.

        1. Reply for*

        2. Nephilium

          Well, hope your homecoming is nice. Depending on the state you settle in, I’m sure you’ll be issued your pussy or MAGA hat shortly.

          1. Thanks, Neph. I’m from Florida so it’ll just be a methgator hat.

    6. Sensei

      Sorry Raphael,

      Best of luck in the US. At least you’ll be in roughly the same timezone as the majority of the Glibs.

      Work here has been awful which has prevented me from writing another learning Japanese post that I had planned to write this week. Maybe next week…

      1. It’s all good, thanks though Sensei. Been wanting to do some traveling back in the States as well so can have more opportunities to do so.

        Sorry about your work, but hope it eases up on you and I’m looking forward to your next Japanese post!

        1. Not Adahn

          Yes, it’s always fun to learn Japanese from anime titties.

  15. Bob Boberson

    From the tatter linK:

    https://twitter.com/AnnieGabstonH

    Replying to @RepMarkMeadows
    I know, right?

    All the Democrats proved today was that Donald Trump colluded with a foreign nation to win an election and obstructed justice in an attempt to hide it.

    Completely pointless. Everyone already knew that!

    Exhibit A of how one cannot be a progressive without being complete and utterly given over to cognitive dissonance.

    1. Scruffy Nerfherder

      NPR had Jay Sekulow on for his take and asked him why the President didn’t sit down for an interview with Mueller. I was disappointed that he didn’t tell the truth, that it was a perjury trap from the beginning. No half-assed lawyer would ever let their client sit down for a non-recorded interview with the FBI with over a million documents and hundreds of hours of other interviews already on the record, particularly if he knew the FBI was gunning for their client.

      1. straffinrun

        Trump said exactly that after Mueller’s testimony. Why wouldn’t Sukelow?

        1. Scruffy Nerfherder

          I’m guessing that he figures they’ve won, no need to stir the “doesn’t respect our institutions” pot, even if the institution is hopelessly broken and corrupt.

      2. Stinky Wizzleteats

        What a conspiracy theory, prosecutors, patriotic Americans all, wouldn’t do that kind of thing.

    2. Drake

      By Faith Alone.

      1. Bob Boberson

        ^^This^^ It’s pure religion at this point. And of all the shit religions out there, its gotta be one of the worst.

        1. AlexinCT

          I WANT THE ELECTION RESULTS REVERSED CAUSE MY TEAM SHOULD ALWAYS WIN AN ELECTION THEY RIGGED, DAMN IT!

    3. WTF

      All the Democrats proved today was that Donald Trump colluded with a foreign nation to win an election and obstructed justice in an attempt to hide it.
      Proved? Proved how? The report says the exact opposite of that, and Mueller said nothing to contradict the report.
      These people are completely deranged.

      1. Stinky Wizzleteats

        The only thing Mueller made completely clear in his testimony was that he didn’t find Trump colluded with Russia. That person is either a fool or a liar.

        1. Bob Boberson

          The two aren’t mutually exclusive

          1. AlexinCT

            I love the new legal standard he invented: Guilty unless proven innocent without any shadow of a doubt….

            Glad they called him out on that shit too in the joke of a hearing.

          2. Scruffy Nerfherder

            Swalwell took the cake.

            He asked Mueller if it were possible that Trump got his subordinates to lie by dangling pardons in front of them, an accusation that has absolutely no evidence anywhere. Mueller responded with “I don’t know” when he should have said “It’s entirely possible that you’re a sheepfucker, I don’t have any evidence to the contrary.”

          3. Gustave Lytton

            Maybe Mueller didn’t say that because he does have incontrovertible evidence that Swalwell is indeed a sheepfucker.

        2. SCHIFF: Trump and his campaign welcomed & encouraged Russian interference?

          MUELLER: Yes.

          SCHIFF: And then Trump and his campaign lied about it to cover it up?

          MUELLER: Yes.*

          Seems pretty clear to me.

          *I didn’t watch or read any of it but this was on twitter so I’m sure it accurately captures the entire testimony.

          1. leon

            ” didn’t watch or read any of it but this was on twitter so I’m sure it accurately captures the entire testimony”

            If you can’t trust the folk on Twitter, well I don’t know who you can trust.

          2. commodious spittoon

            Prosecutors. Duh.

          3. Stinky Wizzleteats

            To be more precise, Mueller ruled out a conspiracy rather than collusion itself which isn’t a crime or even necessarily a bad thing. I’d argue that joking about Wikileaks in a campaign speech doesn’t even rise to the level of collusion but YMMV.

          4. WTF

            448 page report: No evidence of collusion between the Trump campaign and the Russians.
            Trump and his campaign welcomed & encouraged Russian interference?
            This is mere speculation regarding the thoughts of the Trump campaign. I guess Mueller is claiming to read minds.
            And then Trump and his campaign lied about it to cover it up?
            And the evidence for this is…?
            It is innuendo and assumptions, to smear Trump and try to deligitimize the winner of a free and fair election.

          5. straffinrun

            Clear only if you somehow know exactly what is meant by “welcomed and encouraged”. My interpretation is that he’s referring to the throw away line Trump used in regards to Wikileaks. At a campaign speech. In front of cameras and thousands of people.

          6. Scruffy Nerfherder

            I’m fairly certain it was this. Which is pathetic.

    4. It’s bonkers and as you pointed out, it’s a damn religion by now.

    5. Rebel Scum

      “There are multiple, clear incidents of the president obstructing justice.”

      Can you detail any?

      “What?”

      Can you elaborate and justify your claim?

      “There is no time for that because Orange Man Bad!”

  16. DOOMco

    The clips of Mueller are hilarious.
    And the left still thinks he won?

    1. Festus

      “It’s just a little slimy! It’s still good! It’s still good!”

      1. Count Potato

        “It’s just a little airborne!”

  17. The Late P Brooks

    Poor Mueller- Putin’s men got to him.

    Somebody should put the geiger counter on him.

    1. straffinrun

      Classic onset dementia. Moments of clarity mixed with utter confusion. Pathetic that Nadler and Co. used that guy to score political points.

    2. Polonium? Was better when they did the dioxin in the soup.

      1. Scruffy Nerfherder

        I’m a fan of the classics like the ricin-tipped umbrella.

        1. Jarflax

          Ice axes are the real classic.

          1. Don Escaped Texas

            true story: Mercader is buried in Kuntsevo Cemetery

          2. Not Adahn

            Sevo wasn’t that bad.

  18. Atanarjuat

    The inmate who investigators have talked to in Lower Manhattan facility has been identified as Nicholas Tartaglione, according to two sources. Tartaglione is a former police officer in Westchester County who was arrested in December 2016 and accused of killing four men in an alleged cocaine distribution conspiracy, then burying their bodies in his yard in Otisville in Orange County, according to court records.

    If our police departments weren’t so radically underfunded, we could afford to train cops to not form cocaine rings and murder four people and bury their bodies in the backyard.

    1. Scruffy Nerfherder

      Merely a procedural error.

      1. Totality of the circs.

        1. Good shoot, brah. Got to go surfing with my supermodel gf now.

          1. Rhywun

            hth

      2. leon

        You mean murder and hiding the evidence isn’t part of the process?

        1. “Lemme call my Union rep and see “

    2. Bob Boberson

      “It’s just one bad apple!!!”

      /bootlicker

    3. Count Potato

      In this case, I blame the law, not the police.

    4. ChipsnSalsa

      If I knew this was frowned upon…

      1. Look, Chip, you know you’re supposed to dispose of the bodies better than that.

  19. PieInTheSky

    I am not necessarily a fan of fake review humor, but the speed dating one on this profile is high level trolling

    https://www.yelp.com/user_details_reviews_self?userid=cN2d86CAb00oD6G8iwFjqQ

      1. Nephilium

        I’ve linked this before, but nothing… NOTHING will top the reviews of the Sugar Free Gummi Bears.

        1. Not even the original fake review viral sensation Tuscan Dairy Whole Vitamin D Milk, Gallon?

          1. Nephilium

            Dude. My link has Sugar Free in the title. From the first review:

            I washed my hands, and threw water in my face to calm me down. Opening the door, I saw the faces looking back at me. Apparently the seal to the bathroom was not air tight. Letting just the slightest airflow from that bathroom to the main cabin possible. These were daughters, mothers, and children looking at me. I could feel their questions and comments. “What have you done?” “We still have 2 hours left.” “Please divert this plane.”

    1. Count Potato

      LOL

    2. Rhywun

      I am not necessarily a fan of fake review humor

      Me neither. Between that and paid fake reviews and “angry crusader” types I no longer trust any reviews I read on Amazon. Gave up Yelp years ago.

    3. commodious spittoon

      3) We have a “don’t ask, don’t tell” policy as far as I’m concerned.

      That’s great.

  20. AlexinCT

    If you were wondering about Mueller’s testimony from yesterday here is a synopsis.

    1. AlmightyJB

      “Just wait for Racheal Maddie. She’ll know what to do” Lol

      1. AlexinCT

        I am still laughing…

    2. That was a glorious synopsis of the Investigation’s Downfall.

    3. ChipsnSalsa

      Who is Hitler in this scene?

      1. AlexinCT

        George Nader.

  21. Stinky Wizzleteats

    The ASAP Rocky thing is interesting and his being charged is an indicator of how far Sweden has fallen. I’ve never seen anyone beg harder for a beatdown than the guys in that video did in my life.

    1. Count Potato

      “Kamala Harris says Trump’s handling of A$AP Rocky case is a misuse of power”

      https://www.washingtonexaminer.com/news/kamala-harris-says-trumps-handling-of-a-ap-rocky-case-is-a-misuse-of-power

      1. Suthenboy

        If anyone would know about misuse of power….

      2. Stinky Wizzleteats

        She has quite the hard on for tossing undeserving folks in jail doesn’t she?

      3. She is politically tone-deaf to chime in on one thing black Americans would actually like about Trump and call it a misuse of power.

  22. Atanarjuat

    Mayer’s case has gained widespread attention including from U.S. President Donald Trump, who last week urged Swedish Prime Minister Stefan Lofven to free the rapper and said he was willing to vouch for Mayers’ bail.

    Literally Hitler.

    I saw a documentary on Swedish prisons once. Inmates there pretty much lead a better life than I do.

  23. Rebel Scum

    Mueller Time was a complete and utter fucking disaster.

    But I am told that both sides consider it a victory. Leftist delusions know no bounds. (Or am I the one that is delusional? It has to be one or the other.)

    1. Scruffy Nerfherder

      We’re all delusional.

      It’s a side effect of the psychotropics that aliens are releasing into our atmosphere.

      1. It’s the simulation further breaking down and messing with our programming.

    2. Absolutely true. The Peach 45 crowd is clinging on to a cherry-picked set of soundbites from responses to sympathetic Dem questions, especially the idea that Mueller was unable to exonerate Trump from…whatever. Never mind the fact that that isn’t how an investigation works. One incredible take I’ve heard is that basically Mueller’s failure to bring charges or even credible accusations against Trump was either a result of meddling from the Deep State (!?!?!?!?!) or because he himself is being intimidated into quasi-silence. The various indictments are brought up as evidence that Trump was a criminal mastermind and stole the election.

      I don’t know, I’ve tried to work with people who believe shit like this but there’s not even a logical handle to grab on to. As much as there are people who will go to their graves believing that Donald Trump is the reincarnation of George Washington there are also people who will do any mental gymnastics and self-deception necessary to believe that Trump won the election because he is in some way in cahoots with Russia and also a rapist and every other bad thing a person can be.

      1. robc

        The reaction to Trump’s election is worse than Bush over Gore. In that one, at least there was kernel of a legitimate complaint.

        And 1876 was much worse than that and people got over it.

        1. Trump is going to win a second term–I think even some #neverTrumpers are coming around to this idea–and it’s going to be a total madhouse around here. And then when a Dem wins after him, it’s going to be the worst of the bunch. Ugh. I’m moving to a compound in the mountains, fuck this noise.

        2. To be fair, they had just finished beating the shit out of one another in the Civil War and probably didn’t have the emotional energy to start another one.

      2. Rebel Scum

        cherry-picked set of soundbites from responses to sympathetic Dem questions

        Which is the purpose for the entire clown show.

        Never mind the fact that that isn’t how an investigation works.

        Won’t be pointed out by anyone at CNN, MSDNC, etc.

    3. Don Escaped Texas

      +1 Antietam

  24. Rebel Scum

    They held mock hearings, practiced for cameras, and even set up a stand-in Jim Jordan.

    And Jim Jordan still roasted the fuck out of them.

    1. Scruffy Nerfherder

      They sounded like idiots repeating the same thing over and over. Like they were too stupid to come up with separate material to cover.

      1. Scruffy Nerfherder

        In fact, it just cements the impression of your average Democrat politician/speaking head as taking all of their cues from pre-written talking points even further.

        At least the Republicans mixed it up some.

    2. Raven Nation

      I see some of the comments in the linked tweet are saying Mueller clearly has hearing loss as an explanation for his performance.

    3. straffinrun

      He seems to be the only one that understands it’s all theater and demands to be treated as such. “Section 203 of blah, blah, blah…”. JFC, why would team red critters start their time with that?

  25. PieInTheSky

    There is a heat wave in parts of Europe and it is full of hottest day ever in the press. Beyond being incorrect and annoying (ever meaning since 1880) Given how many times shady record temps were announced I cannot even believe hottest since 1880 anymore. Also the Guardian now uses climate crisis instead of change or warming or disruption.

    1. AlexinCT

      Moving targets allow you to sell the same bullshit with a different topping to the unwashed masses….

    2. Suthenboy

      For the warmista grifters every day is the hottest day ever

    3. ruodberht

      Oh, is that evidence of warming? The last I heard, “global warming” was supposed to disrupt some ocean currents, making Europe COLDER. So, according to that theory, the hot temps there should be evidence AGAINST the warmistas.

      Or are we at war with Eastasia again?

      1. We have always been at war with them.

    4. Urthona

      It’s really unnaturally cool here in Texas. Like the high today is 89. In late summer.

      1. It’s not late summer. It’s midsummer.

        1. Urthona

          Or is it?

          1. Well, it could be midwinter if you’re antipodian.

          2. Not Adahn

            Summer in TX starts in April and ends in October. So yes, July is midsummer.

  26. Rebel Scum

    A frail old man, unable to remember things, stumbling, refusing to answer basic questions…I said it in 2017 and Mueller confirmed it today — All you pundits and moderates and lame Dems who told the public to put their faith in the esteemed Robert Mueller — just STFU from now on

    Michael Moore says something not retarded for once.

    1. Rhywun

      He’s just pissed the Dems didn’t git ‘im.

    2. Moore predicted Trump’s win, too.

    1. They’re wrong, but being the guardian, I’m not surprised.

      1. Crusty Juggler

        lol right? The Meg is only 8?

    2. Count Potato

      I didn’t see #1 & #2, so I don’t know if Crank should be #1

      1. Gustave Lytton

        No. And The Transporter is criminally underrated at #10. Also, Luc Besson and Shu Qi. Also Shu Qi.

    3. commodious spittoon

      Spy was… not a good movie. Not even a memorably bad movie. The worst Austin Powers movie was leagues better than Spy.

    4. Sean

      I liked Ghosts of Mars.

      1. Gustave Lytton

        Me too!

  27. PieInTheSky

    Trump in the White House is a national security nightmare – and Mueller knows it
    Walter Shapiro

    Mueller is at his core a moralist and a patriot – and the House intelligence committee knew it as they lured him out of his heavily guarded Fortress of His Own Rectitude

    https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2019/jul/24/mueller-trump-russia-testimony-national-security

    1. Scruffy Nerfherder

      Somebody actually wrote that sentence and it got published?

    2. WTF

      Trump in the White House is a national security nightmare

      Well, he’s been President for quite some time now, so examples, please.

      1. AlexinCT

        HILLARY IS NOT THERE!

    3. Rhywun

      Dude, step away from The Guardian.

  28. The Late P Brooks

    Institutionalized racism- it’s what’s for dinner

    “Inequality is endemic” in America’s public schools, the report says, identifying nearly 1,000 school district borders where schools on one side receive at least 10% less money per student than schools on the other side and where the racial makeup of the two sides’ students varies by 25 percentage points or more. It is the story of segregation, in 2019.

    EdBuild says the disadvantaged districts in these cross-district comparisons receive, on average, about $4,200 less per student than their wealthier neighbors, largely because of differences in what they’re able to raise through local property taxes. To put that gap into perspective, schools spent an average of $12,000 per student in 2017, according to the U.S. Census Bureau. This means that disadvantaged districts have about one-third fewer dollars per student than their peers up the street.

    ——-

    They understand, Sibilia says, that the scales are tipped against them. Their schools are still segregated and underfunded more than 60 years after the Supreme Court issued one of its most famous rulings, in Brown v. Board of Education, unanimously declaring that separate but equal schools are neither equal nor constitutional. So why are so many U.S. schools still so separate and unequal?

    “That’s all thanks to Milliken,” Sibilia says.

    ——-

    The plaintiffs argued that school policies reinforced racist housing practices that had trapped black families inside the city. It was a story playing out across the United States.

    “The story was the story of American apartheid,” says Michelle Adams, a professor at Cardozo School of Law in New York City. She’s writing a book on Milliken and says federal redlining of neighborhoods and race-based restrictions on house sales, known as covenants, had made it nearly impossible for black families to move to the suburbs.

    “Over and over and over again, the plaintiffs used this phrase, ‘contained.’ ”

    —–

    The suburbs argued that their school district lines had been drawn without malice and that the federal courts had no right to interfere in the local control of schools unless the black parents who brought the case could show that the suburbs were responsible for school segregation in Detroit.

    A divided court agreed, finding in a 5-4 ruling that if these suburbs weren’t actively hurting Detroit’s students, then they couldn’t be forced to help them either. Of the five justices in that majority, four had been appointed by Nixon. Ultimately, Detroit was told to somehow desegregate itself.

    Obviously, the only solution is for the federal government to completely take over the process of educating the children, and impose a strict one size fits all curriculum and equal per student funding. And, of course, randomized assignment of students to schools.

    Justice will prevail.

    1. robc

      Collect property tax money into one pot in each state … distribute vouchers per student.

      While it will vary by state, about 12k is **way** more than enough to get into a decent public school.

      My only problem with this is the same as government backed college loans. If everyone is walking around with a 12k voucher, why would any school continue to charge less?

      1. Scruffy Nerfherder

        Then people would get to choose where to spend their money instead of NEA controlled administrators doing it for them. That’s total anarchy.

      2. You’d almost have to just say that each kid is “worth” $12k, no more, no less, in state funds, and how that money is spent is up to the school. You’d wind up with schools that would charge more in order to capture the higher-end “tiger mom” education market, but your floor would be based around that flat 12. Presumably, rather than charging less, a school would either offer more amenities or pay employees more. If public schools effectively become nonprofits then that’s a strong incentive for faculty to go to smaller schools. Not necessarily to leave larger schools, mind you, but it prevents smaller schools from dying off.

        1. robc

          My problem is there is a very good private school I would consider sending my daughter to (if we end up in Louisville) that costs less than $8k.

          If the school is willing to charge $8k, why should they charge $12k.

          Then again, the “free” public schools are already distorting the market, so maybe $8k is due to price suppression due to the subsidized schools, so maybe 12k would be closer to the true free market price.

          1. robc

            Additional edit: KY “only” spends 9800 per student (2016) so a voucher program wouldn’t boost that by much. So nevermind on my objection.

          2. robc

            “that” meaning the cost of the private school raising up to the floor. Most of the elite private schools in the Louisville area are way over the 9800 already.

          3. Crusty Juggler

            As seen below, if you send your child to a public school in Kentucky they will start drinking their own bathwater to be cool.

          4. robc

            northern Kentucky

            AKA Cincinnati.

          5. Like you say, the public money distorts the market. If the government is just handing out $12k smackeroos to every kid, that’s your new baseline. If there was no public funding for education and if attendance was optional, then you’d see a real, normal, healthy market.

      3. Pope Jimbo

        Maybe you could tell parents that they can keep any leftover money? So if they find a school for $8K, they can pocket $4K?

        A lot of perverse incentives there, but it would at least create schools that ran as lean as possible.

        1. Gustave Lytton

          Yeah, on the order of food stamp fraud.

          1. And if the “school” can accept food stamps for “Lunch”, think of the possibilities!

        2. Gadfly

          Leftover money goes into an account for college, trade school, or other post-secondary education. Creates lower-price incentive without incentivizing the parents to skimp on education in order to get more beer money.

    2. Of the five justices in that majority, four had been appointed by Nixon.

      Which, of course, is the clearest evidence you could hope for that they were hopelessly corrupt racists.

      1. leon

        Nixon, southern strategy Nixon?

    3. Drake

      New Jersey has proven conclusively that school funding and student learning have nothing to do with each other. The state poured endless millions into the worst school districts. Now they have nice new buildings and big staffs of well-paid administrators for their illiterate students.

      1. Suthenboy

        Didn’t some idiot billionaire dump some absurd amount of money into a NJ school district in the last decade only to see the money disappear and no change whatsoever in the schools? I had a good laugh over that one.

        1. Scruffy Nerfherder

          Zuckerberg gave them $100M

          1. WTF

            $100 M for Newark. What a colossal waste.

          2. Drake

            Yep – crop-dusting the city with the cash would done more.

          3. Suthenboy

            Yeah, that’s the one, and the money disappeared and no one could explain where it went. If that didn’t illustrate to the ‘more money for the schools’ crowd how useless their argument is nothing will.

          4. You’d think he’d be a bit red-pilled after that, but …

          5. WTF

            And of course, Corey Booker was the mayor at the time of the wasted $100 M fiasco.

      2. Certified Public Asshat

        See also, Baltimore City. Except the building still suck.

    4. Suthenboy

      I love how ‘dollars per student’ are always used as the measure rather than ‘success of the students’.

      1. leon

        Hahaha you think school is about the student and not the NEA.

      2. AlexinCT

        Dollars per student translates neatly into donations from teacher unions to democrats. Fuck the students otherwise.

    5. WTF

      New Jersey’s “Abbott districts” spend more per pupil on average than most suburban districts, yet their outcomes are consistently poor in comparison. Spending per pupil is not a good predictor of academic achievement, nor is classroom size, or teacher pay. The best predictor of academic achievement is parental engagement.

      1. Scruffy Nerfherder

        This. Schools cannot overcome cultural influence and it is stupid to expect them to.

        Of course, the alternative is to tell the “parents” to form family units and place a priority on education and personal responsibility, but that’s racist.

        1. Rhywun

          That’s when they shift the argument to “segregation” and “redlining” like it’s still 1950 or something. When you point out that “segregation” is in fact declining, the argument shifts to “gentrification”.

          You literally cannot “win” an argument with that crowd.

        2. Drake

          It would also be racist to take students who have no business ever going to college and putting them into vocational training programs. Of course if you go to the outer corners of NJ, there are thriving vocational high schools teaching white kids how to be plumbers, cooks, mechanics, etc. That’s probably racist too.

      2. robc

        The best predictor of academic achievement is parental engagement.

        You misspelled “proximity to Canada”.

        Although, that is probably 2nd to parental engagement.

    6. Rhywun

      This means that disadvantaged districts have about one-third fewer dollars per student than their peers up the street.

      LOL. The “most disadvantaged districts” in NYC are spending over $24K per student.

      1. Lackadaisical

        New York is a great state to study this:

        • Clarence (Erie County, Western New York): $17,100 per pupil
        Williamsville (Erie County, Western New York): $18,143 per pupil

        [Williamsville (ranked #4) & Clarence (ranked #10) in Upstate are next-door neighbors and two of the best school districts in the state]

        • Buffalo (Erie County, Western New York): $22,766 per pupil
        [Also right next door, but fucking horrific, unless you test in to one of a few good schools, City Honors being a great school]

        Link: https://www.bizjournals.com/buffalo/news/2018/11/27/upstate-spending-02.html

        1. Rhywun

          Yeah, I went to the best HS in Rochester. I would not wish the regular HS’s on anyone. It’s in the fact the only reason my mom kept us in the city. The second I graduated she and my future step-father high-tailed it out to LeRoy to shack up.

  29. The Late P Brooks

    And-

    “The Detroit-only plan simply has no hope of achieving actual desegregation,” said Justice Thurgood Marshall in his dissent. “Under such a plan, white and Negro students will not go to school together. Instead, Negro children will continue to attend all-Negro schools. The very evil that Brown was aimed at will not be cured but will be perpetuated.”

    At the risk of sounding like some heartless monster who wants all the black folk put back in chains, I thought the point of the exercise was to “provide an education” and not forcibly toss the students in a racial mixmaster just for its own sake.

    1. Public schools have never been about providing an education.

    2. robc

      Louisville had forced desegregation when I was growing up. There have been a series of SCOTUS cases related to different Louisville plans. All thrown out. All the cases were brought by black parents wanting their kids to attend neighborhood schools…primarily Central High.

    3. Drake

      The problem is they let whitey move out of town.

      1. Rhywun

        Or attend private schools.

        1. Drake

          That is bad.
          “Everyone else’s kid should have to go to public school.”

          – my rich liberal in-laws

          1. AlexinCT

            The more a rich liberal supports the public school system and is against choice, the more likely it is their kids go to private schools. It is a great way to provide your idiot spawn with a great advantage over the unwashed masses after all. Especially since you can then pay people to get them into high ranking institutions of higher learning so they can end up with the right credentials that allow them to join your oligarchy and keep it all in the family….

          2. Gustave Lytton

            +1 Sidwell Friends

  30. leon

    Well… Regardless of who scored more points yesterday, I think the Dems have painted themselves into a corner. Their base wants impeachment. My left leaning friend is frustrated that they have the rhetoric but don’t do anything. So they are wearing thin their base through inaction.

    1. It’s an interesting conundrum. They’ve been on about impeachment and all the terrible things Trump has done for his entire first term, but they haven’t done shit. Now their base is all ginned up and they’ve got nothing to give them. They’ve got a tiger by the tail.

      1. leon

        I’m sure the GOP, not content in being outdone, will find a way to step on their dick.

        1. Tejicano

          Hell, if they didn’t have a dick they would grow one just to step on it.

        2. For sure. The DNC doesn’t have a monopoly on idiocy. You’d think it’s a requirement for political office based on, oh, all of the history of electoral politics.

    2. Scruffy Nerfherder

      Good luck with all that,

    3. AlexinCT

      It’s about keeping the assmonkeys engaged and furious, so they donate and can be sent out to the polls come election time. Reality has no bearing on whatever nonsense needs to be used to keep the shitshow going.

    4. Drake

      Even the semi-sane candidates like Biden were going to run on “Trump’s a Crook”. Now that whole game has failed, they have nothing left except hard-left economics and identity politics which is a recipe for election disaster.

    5. ChipsnSalsa

      You could say the dem base has some blue balls?

  31. Rebel Scum

    despite video evidence he tried defusing situation.

    He should have pretended to be a migrant from N. Africa.

  32. Pope Jimbo

    Uffda. Local lefty reporter runs a piece about how Trump is going to take food stamps away. Sure the piece does admit that a Minnesoda millionaire was able to apply for and get food stamps, but that doesn’t mean that people shouldn’t get food stamps.

    The best line though is this:

    Hundreds of farm families in 75 counties who receive food benefits could be affected. They have a lot of property, but very little income.

    How will a farmer eat if he doesn’t have food stamps? I mean, the supermarket demands some form of payment and doG knows that is the only place you can get food. It isn’t like food just grows out of the dirt or something.

      1. Drake

        Not satire? Wow.

        During FDR’s Depression, my grandfather spent his childhood living on his grandfather’s Tennessee farm. They were poor but lived off the land and made a little extra.

    1. It peeves me how disingenuous the reporting has been about that as well as the reporting about Rand Paul voting against the bill for the 9/11 first responders that had no ideas for cutting spending in another area to help balance it out.

    2. leon

      You know one of the (many things) Julius Ceaser did to piss of the rich was reformthe grain Dole so as to kick off rich families that have gotten on to it.

      And you know what happened to him…

    3. “hey have a lot of property, but very little income.”

      Sell some of the property to developers?

      Be a better farmer?

      Hmmm…

  33. Crusty Juggler

    Florida woman arrested for grabbing husband’s penis too forcefully

    A sex-hungry Florida woman was busted for allegedly grabbing her husband’s genitals “with such force that the victim crumpled over and had trouble walking,” police said, according to a report.

    Anastacia Tasch, 44, was charged with domestic battery for the Monday incident that occurred at the couple’s Tampa home, The Smoking Gun reported, citing a complaint affidavit.

    According to the complaint, Tasch clamped down on her hubby’s manhood while he was sleeping on the couch at around 5:30 a.m.

    Teach Women Not To Rape!

    1. Scruffy Nerfherder

      *clicks*

      GAH!

      1. She had to sneak up on it and grab it before it ran away, clearly.

      2. Tejicano

        I wouldn’t do her with his dick and it seems he wouldn’t either.

    2. Women can’t possibly rape, stop these fake lies, you my-soggy-kneeist.

  34. Crusty Juggler

    Libertarians don’t support Miller Lite and oxycodone in vending machines

    Within the libertarian movement (and the Libertarian Party) you will find a range of positions on many issues (as happens in the major parties), but I would be extremely surprised if you could find any serious libertarian who would advocate public vending machines (available to minors) to be stocked with “oxycodone, packs of Camels and cans of Miller Lite.”

    We libertarians do believe in free markets, but usually also recognize that minors cannot make all decisions for themselves. They often need direction from parents. Libertarians are not libertines. Do due diligence before you intentionally insult a principled political group in such an outlandish manner. I am a knowledgeable (and insulted) libertarian and used to be a registered Libertarian until the state of Maryland in its wisdom de-certified the party.

    I mean…

    1. robc

      I saw beer in vending machines in Europe.

      And cigarette vending machines were common in my youth.

      So, 2 out of 3 aint bad.

      1. Scruffy Nerfherder

        The last cigarette vending machine in Maryland is in the Charles Village Pub.

        Saw it last year.

        1. straffinrun

          Uh…

        2. Tejicano

          Straff was gonna say that we have both of those here in Japan.

          They tried to institute some kind of card system so they could control sales to people over the legal age but it seems that not enough people could be arsed to get one and sales dropped in the machines that required those cards. I can’t remember the last time I saw one of those machines which required one of those cards.

        3. Gustave Lytton

          I miss those machines. Memories of childhood.

      2. I have a cigarette vending machine in my garage.

        If anyone wants it, let me know. I can’t seem to find anyone who wants the damn thing.

    2. Drake

      The American Legion hall in my old town had vending machines full of different kinds of beer, cigars, and cigarettes. As a teenager, I thought it was the coolest thing in the world.

    3. Pope Jimbo

      I once bought a liter of Suntory whiskey from a vending machine in Japan while visiting my sister-in-law.

      When I worked in Tokyo, there was a Junior High school across the street from our office. On the corner was a vending machine that sold beer. I was laughing about it and told my coworkers that if there had been a beer machine outside my Jr. High, the line would have wrapped around the block. They were perplexed because it would be illegal for minors to buy beer, so why would there be a line?

      On the other hand, they would laugh at me a lot when we’d grab a beer from that vending machine after work and shoot the shit. Anytime a cop or someone important would come by, I’d hide my beer behind my back. They couldn’t believe it was illegal to drink out in public on the street in the US. Or that if it was illegal that we still did it anyhow.

      1. straffinrun

        Not anymore. Hotels and bowling alleys have them, but not on the street these days.

        1. Tejicano

          I’m going to have to pay more attention. I would have sworn I still see beer machines in my area.

        2. Same over in my area. Quickest spots for beers either in the inaka or the city over here are the conbinis.

        3. Gustave Lytton

          Too hard to add the tap through over 20 screen?

        4. Pope Jimbo

          I can’t remember if I saw any during my last visit a year or so ago. But that was a rush job to see my niece get married, so I didn’t have much time to root around for beer machines

      2. Ozymandias

        Your Holiness, there’s an old joke about why crime is so low in Germany (because it’s against the Law) that would work equally well in Japan.

    4. straffinrun

      Panty vending machines here have a strict under 17 only policy.

      1. Tejicano

        OMWC haz a sad

    5. Jarflax

      Well most of us aren’t Miller Lite fans. Come back when your proposal has decent single malts in the machine.

  35. Pope Jimbo

    This is why we can’t have nice things

    Local gal who wants to run against Omar is tagged as a Qanon loonie. What could be worse? An ex-staffer says she isn’t even really a Qanon believer, she is just posing as one to get supporters.

    I realize that it is a giant uphill struggle to win in Omar’s district as a GOP candidate, but could the party not find someone not crazy?

    1. Scruffy Nerfherder

      I saw a QAnon t-shirt in the wild last week.

      They’re out there.

      1. Count Potato

        Indeed.

    2. Rhywun

      Wait til reality intrudes and it turns out to be crazier than anything QAnon comes up with.

  36. Rebel Scum

    Look, there are African American men in this shot! How much did he pay them to be “blackground”?

    I am pretty sure “Blacks for Trump” is a group along the same line as “Women/Cubans/Hispanics/etc for Trump” are, despite what white leftists believe.

    1. AlexinCT

      I witnessed 5 old white liberal lawyers scolding a young black hard working lower class man at the YMCA gym a while back, because the guy loved Trump. When they asked him why he supported such a racist he told them Trump was no racist and had done far more to help people like him (the ones that want a decent chance to make a living) than Obama had. You should have heard the shit these 5 white old lawyers said to each other about the kid after he went out of earshot and until they realized I had heard them. BTW, it was racist AND homophobic (and the kid is as straight as they come).

      But yeah, the problem is the Trump supporters.

      1. Banjos

        Progjection.

      2. Raston Bot

        i overhear lots of shit living in progtopia.

        “i don’t think they’re evil, they’re just idiots” is a popular theme.

        1. DOOMco

          Is it bad if I think the progs are evil and stupid?

        2. AlexinCT

          Oh, I have heard them often say that people that don’t agree with them HAVE to be doing so because they are evil AND stupid.

    1. Scruffy Nerfherder

      The Purple Drank is the Devil’s Liquor

    2. Drake

      Sailors like to drink? The hell you say.

      1. AlexinCT

        NEVAH!

        1. Heroic Mulatto

          There was a time when a ration of grog was issued twice a day.

          1. AlexinCT

            If I recall correctly, there was a lot of lashing and sodomy going on too….

            I am glad I missed them days.

    3. Gustave Lytton

      Phew. At least they weren’t looking at porn.

      1. Ozymandias

        L-O-effing-L! Nice. When I was in Afghanistan the Team guys had an entire drive (like 250G or something, which back then was mammoth) they brought with them that was chock filled with some pretty…interesting stuff. They also had enough hooch that we all sat around sipping Jack every poker night with no concern of running out. EVERYONE (including up the Chain of Command) knew it was going on.

  37. Crusty Juggler

    The Guys Who Love to Drink Dirty Bathwater

    After a long day of school, 14-year-old Kian comes home to his apartment in northern Kentucky and starts running a bath — his preferred method of relaxation. He gauges his mood and chooses a water temperature accordingly. Usually he either goes for lobster-boiling hot or hypothermia-inducing cold, avoiding any middle ground in the process. He fills up the tub about halfway, leaving enough room to ensure the added volume of his body won’t cause the water to spill over. Next, he gets in, sometimes craving a bath so badly that he doesn’t bother taking off his jeans or socks. Melting into the tub, he lets the day’s grime and troubles wash off him.

    He then takes the cup stationed on the rim of the tub, plunges it into the water, fills it and takes a sip — relishing in the taste of the day’s bathwater.

    1. leon

      “He fills up the tub about halfway, leaving enough room to ensure the added volume of his body won’t cause the water to spill over.”

      Geez he must be some kinda expert at bathing. I mean not even Archimedes could get that down.

      1. straffinrun

        He jerks off to keep it level.

        1. AlexinCT

          And drinks is even with more of a relish after?

    2. Why does he drink his own bathwater when he can drink the sweet bathwater of a gamer girl?

      1. Stinky Wizzleteats

        As twisted as that is somehow drinking your own bath water seems worse on a whole different level.

  38. The Late P Brooks

    Let them eat Christmas cookies

    (CNN)Former special counsel Robert Mueller spent Wednesday testifying before a pair of House committees on Capitol Hill, taking questions on the results of his investigation that has loomed over President Donald Trump’s presidency. Meanwhile, first lady Melania Trump tweeted about … Christmas.
    “#Christmas planning has begun in the East Wing at the @WhiteHouse. I’m looking forward to sharing our final vision for this unique tradition in the coming months,” the first lady tweeted.

    It is not unusual that the first lady is already working on her holiday creativity this far in advance — planning and execution for the extensive White House décor often takes several months — but hers is an activity in stark contrast to the drama unfolding before Congress.
    Melania Trump’s tweet said nothing about politics or Mueller’s testimony. Instead, the first lady included four photos of herself, handling what appear to be fabric samples and gold silk flowers. Wearing a white dress and her signature nude high heels, Trump in one of the pictures is meeting with a staffer, perhaps discussing what decoration theme will be.

    That BITCH!

    That’s some hard hitting serious journalism, boys. Your mothers will be proud.

    1. leon

      “and her signature nude…”
      :expectant gasp:

      “high heels,”
      Worst tease ever…

    2. Rebel Scum

      Melania Trump’s tweet said nothing about politics or Mueller’s testimony.

      She is not a politician and is not involved in the investigation.

      1. Rhywun

        She could at least be lecturing us about school lunches or something. What a selfish bitch.

  39. Rebel Scum

    Nadler, you ignorant slut.

    Nadler indicated that the committee could launch proceedings on its own. Articles filed by Rep. Brad Sherman (D-Calif.) at the outset of this Congress have already been referred to the panel, giving Democrats a vehicle to begin the hugely controversial proceedings. The technical discussion also included a question about how an impeachment case is presented to the Senate.

    In the course of the wide-ranging discussion, Nadler countered Pelosi’s pushback by noting that polls showed limited support for removing President Richard Nixon from office when the House began impeachment hearings in 1973, but that public support for the effort grew as more evidence came out about Nixon’s illegal behavior.

    As she has for months, Pelosi argued to her colleagues that the “slow, methodical approach” employed by House Democrats was the right way to move forward, despite the fact that more than 90 of her members have called for an impeachment inquiry to begin now.

    Rep. Lori Trahan of Massachusetts became the latest Democrat to endorse the idea on Wednesday, but some pro-impeachment members had hoped for far more lawmakers to join them.

    Pelosi also noted Democrats have several lawsuits moving forward in federal court, including cases involving Trump’s personal finances and tax returns, said the sources.

    Pelosi has insisted Democrats need support from Republicans, or a shift in public sentiment, before even starting an impeachment inquiry against Trump.

    1. Drake

      I bet if the wait a little over a year, there will be a nation-wide poll on Trump’s Presidency.

    2. The Other Kevin

      “public support for the effort grew as more evidence came out about Nixon’s illegal behavior.”

      I think the opposite is happening now. Their only hope is to find that seemingly non-existent smoking gun. At what point do you admit that the entire press, the entire Democratic party, and the FBI all spent countless hours looking for dirt on Trump, but didn’t find any, so maybe it doesn’t exist?

      1. straffinrun

        Even if they found a legit smoking gun, they’ve cried wolf so many times that even fence sitters wouldn’t care.

      2. R C Dean

        more evidence came out

        Just what stone do they think was left unturned by the Mueller investigation?

    3. Gadfly

      Pelosi has insisted Democrats need support from Republicans, or a shift in public sentiment, before even starting an impeachment inquiry against Trump.

      So Pelosi has read the Constitution and knows that conviction takes 2/3rds of the Senate – i.e. 18 Rs turning on their party’s president.

      1. R C Dean

        The House impeaches, the Senate removes. The House could impeach without a single Repub vote. Pelosi is looking at the optics of a purely partisan impeachment, and not liking what she sees.

  40. bacon-magic

    I want to know what Swissy thinks about the Swedish jack boot situation.

    1. I am puzzled. They have legit crime they ignore….so this is not really “sending a message” or RAYCISS or what. Personal animus by the prosecutor?

      1. “But going after the real criminals in Sweden is dangerous I mean, they have grenades and everything.”

        1. R C Dean

          Ding Ding. No local blowback (political or otherwise) from prosecuting the American.

    2. Not a full set….

      To be honest being a complete asshole and harassing has way to much leeway in Sweden without being criminal but giving a well deserved beat down is not.
      The guy who got his ass kicked, has if I remember correctly two assault convictions(one with a knife) theft, and getting caught with heroin. But he is one of the unaccompanied “kids” from Afghanistan so nothing he does is going to get him in any real trouble,and he won’t have to worry about getting deported even tho he at the moment is in Iran on vacation.
      Combined with a prosecutor wanting to get some media and this is what you get.

      The thing about being held before in isolation is more or less the standard in Sweden for most anything the prosecutor wants and we don’t have a bail system.

  41. Count Potato

    So who makes good inexpensive bus-powered external drives? I think 1TB 7200 USB 3.0 should be sufficient.

    1. Good and inexpensive? Man, you’re needy.

      1. Count Potato

        Yes, there are plenty of hard drives, computer cases, etc. that spend money on looks. I don’t care about that.

        1. What’s appearance got to do with quality/price trade-off?

          1. straffinrun

            Spoken like a true pimp.

          2. *backhands straff*

            Where’s my money?

          3. Count Potato

            Fancy designer cases, graphics, and whatnot cost money.

    2. Sensei

      Do you want fast or shock resistant?

      I’m not sure a 7200RPM spinner will saturate at USB 2.0.

      For a portable use I’d go solid state. Depending on your use case – speed and number of writes you can run anywhere from a little under a $100 for occasional use and about $175 for a Samsung T5 which is where I would put my data. 1TB is a PITA to lose.

      If you have an old 2.5 SSD around I bought a $10 USB3 to SATA cable that works a treat and gives you good write endurance and speed for cheap.

      1. Count Potato

        I don’t need fast (it’s for back-ups and sneakernet) or all that shock resistant. I just want reliable and inexpensive.

        Can’t use SATA for this.

        From what I can tell, SSD is still about twice the price of 7200.

        1. Count Potato

          Oh, you mean SATA instead of a USB case.

          1. Sensei

            Yup – you could make your own – $10 cable plus the the 2.5 inch laptop drive of your choice.

          2. Sensei

            https://www.amazon.com/BENFEI-Drive-Adapter-Cable-Compatible/dp/B07F7WDZGT

            This is what I’m using with an SSD I had from an old PC.

    3. commodious spittoon

      Somewhat related… is there any reason not to use m.2 storage if you’re willing to drop the cash on it?

      1. Sensei

        M.2 has a faster interface than SATA – new flash will definitely take advantage of it.

        Only downside I’m aware is the price.

  42. The Late P Brooks

    Saving the planet from Trump

    Four automakers from three continents have struck a deal with California to produce more fuel-efficient cars for their U.S. fleets in coming years, undercutting one of the Trump administration’s most aggressive climate policy rollbacks.

    The compromise between the California Air Resources Board and Ford, Honda, Volkswagen and BMW of North America came after weeks of secret negotiations and could shape future U.S. vehicle production, even as White House officials aim to relax gas mileage standards for the nation’s cars, pickup trucks and SUVs.

    Mary Nichols, California’s top air pollution regulator, said in an interview Wednesday that she sees the agreement as a potential “olive branch” to the Trump administration and hopes it joins the deal, which she said gives automakers flexibility in meeting emissions goals without the “massive backsliding” contained in the White House’s current proposal.

    “What we have here is a statement of principles, intended to reach out to the federal government to move them off the track that they seem to be on, and on to a more constructive track,” Nichols said, adding that the companies approached California officials last month about a potential compromise.

    ————

    While the new agreement will require car companies to meet stricter targets than under the Trump administration’s proposal, it also could provide a hedge in case a Democrat wins the presidential election next year. California regulators committed to maintaining the tailpipe standards even if control of the White House flips.

    In addition, automakers will receive significant credits for adopting climate-friendly technologies. Under both California’s and the federal government’s fuel economy program, firms can receive credits toward meeting annual targets several ways, including cooling cars more effectively through less-polluting refrigerants and selling more electric vehicles. Under the new accord, the participating companies will be able to tap into more generous credits than would have been available under the Obama-era rules.

    “Significant credits” are the new Papal Dispensations.

    That crazy bastard Trump, putting minimum pollution requirements on cars,

  43. The Late P Brooks

    And-

    According to the Alliance of Automobile Manufacturers, 69 percent of last year’s new vehicle sales were light trucks – meaning SUVs, vans and pickups – compared with 31 percent for cars. Light trucks accounted for more than half of new vehicle sales in all 50 states in 2018, with the Ford S-Series, Chevrolet Silverado and Ram Pickup as the nation’s top three sellers. Those three models alone accounted for 11.6 percent of new vehicle sales last year, compared to hybrids’ 1.9 percent share and fully-electric vehicles’ 1.2 percent.

    But in Europe – where gas is twice as expensive – more fuel-efficient hatchbacks and super minis top the sales charts.

    I think we all know what that means. Double Triple Jack the gas tax into the stratosphere. Make those radical individualist drivers pay for their so-called freedom. Pay ’til it hurts.

    1. R C Dean

      in Europe – where gas is twice as expensive

      And everything is much closer together and often more congested, which may have something to do with the preference for, or at least tolerance of, smaller cars.

      1. It would be interesting to see a study of mobility in Europe. I don’t know, but I suspect that outside of urban areas people mostly stay close to where they were raised and work in near their homes. Commuting seems to be more of an American thing.

  44. The Late P Brooks

    She [Melania] is not a politician and is not involved in the investigation.

    And that is why they hate her so.

  45. Raston Bot

    the latest software engineer at Google to call them out on their biased search results has been pre-fired..

    https://twitter.com/JamesOKeefeIII/status/1154380326485016576

    at some point there will be enough dissidents purged that they can start their own competitor.

    1. Rhywun

      Well, yeah. Most companies don’t want the help talking to the press. It’s pretty obvious he was done there.

      GoFundMe? GTFO. I think he’ll get back on his feet just fine on his own, given how he bragged about how well-paid they are there.

  46. First we have micro-aggressions, now we have micro-cheating.

    https://www.askmen.com/dating/dating_advice/what-is-micro-cheating-what-to-know-about-this-risky-relationship-behavior.html

    I’ll skip to the punchline: Men are scum and perpetually guilty of everything therefore they must throw themselves at the mercy of their female overlords and beg forgiveness.

    1. Scruffy Nerfherder

      Yet Pence is a shitlord for not wanting to be alone with a woman other than his wife.

    2. straffinrun

      Sure, micro-cheating may not be as devastating to some people as physical infidelity…

      Sure. Some people aren’t insane.

    3. leon

      ““Micro-cheating is the act of blowing past the known boundaries of appropriate behavior for one in a committed relationship,””

      IDK it doesn’t sound like a sinister plot by the femenists to enslave men. Just a stupid name.

      1. Agreed. It drives me nuts when I hear people trying to justify their cheating with “it just happened” or “I was already it love” or whatever.

        Bullshit! Everybody saw you acting the fool for months prior to actually cheating. Sure, “micro-cheating” is a stupid name, but the concept is legit.

    4. AlexinCT

      Totes cool if women are doing this shit to their guys, though, I bet.

      1. “but nothing would ever come of it…”

        Relevant

      2. leon

        Actually a lot of the behaviors described are behaviors that I’d say are mostly done by women (posting “sexy” pictures online for attention, etc)

        1. Scruffy Nerfherder

          Carlos Danger would like to have a word.

          1. R C Dean

            I guess Rule 34 dick pics are “sexy”.

    5. Stinky Wizzleteats

      “Micro-cheating”

      Sorry, there’s no such thing. You either are or you aren’t. Do some of those behaviors lead to a higher possibility of actual cheating? Sure, but come on.

      1. Gustave Lytton

        Jimmy Carter has a sad.

    6. WTF

      Why did I read that? It is one of the most idiotic things I’ve ever read.

    7. A Leap at the Wheel

      The idea that conspicuous fidelity is a moral good is a great idea. Lots of moral traditions have it. Unfortunately, this author is at sea without an achor, and while they’ve identified the basic truth of this proposition, they don’t have the intellectual or moral framework to properly put it in context. So he (oh, of course its she) has to conflate it with one of the very, very few things that she knows is wrong.

      Its a shame.

      1. R C Dean

        they don’t have the intellectual or moral framework to properly put it in context

        Precisely. Its about control, the raw exercise of power.

  47. hayeksplosives

    https://www.spiked-online.com/2019/07/19/canadas-bizarre-trans-waxing-controversy/amp/?__twitter_impression=true


    Yes, this person believes that because he identifies as female he should therefore have access to every female service, including the most intimate female services. Any female beautician who refuses to tend to his testicles is being ‘transphobic’, apparently, because they are denying his womanhood. Even though he has a penis. And testicles. And is a man. “

    1. Don’t you know it’s not tolerance unless you wholeheartedly embrace their insanity, fetishes, and bullying?

    2. straffinrun

      Prudes. Those are just vagina balls.

      1. MikeS

        Labicles

        1. dontreadonme

          ROFL

    3. Democratic Hitler

      I think the guy’s a legitimate pedo creep. His twitter history appeared to be full of creepy-ass posts obsessing about how much nudity was common in female locker rooms and — in particular — creepy fetishistic scenarios around teaching young girls how to use tampons.

      I’m usually pretty live-and-let-live, everyone has their freak side, but pretty sure this one’s going to need to be put down or put away before this is over.

      1. Scruffy Nerfherder

        I’m fine with “disappeared”.

      2. MikeS

        I don’t know if it was real or parody, (now I’m thinking real) but I read he she it tried to organize a topless pool party for the neighborhood girls? To help with them with developing a positive body image or some such bullshit.

        1. It was open to 12-24-year-olds and ‘topless’ was an option. Also, parents and caregivers were not allowed in to allow for a ‘safe space’.

          The person in question is mentally ill.

    4. Rhywun

      It’s even worse than what is presented in that article. The same person is involved in some scheme to get young girls to show him how to use tampons.

      He’s a perv.

      1. That is so over the top that I wouldn’t be surprised if it’s some kind of plot to undermine the trans movement. Blaire’s right: he is the living embodiment of all the conspiracy theories and slippery slope arguments made about trans people.

        1. leon

          He’s also a rabid racist, so false flag isn’t that crazy. What’s crazy is that the government seems to agree with him, and there are plenty of morons who do.

    5. R C Dean

      He’s done this to a number of businesses, and I thought I read that at least once he presented to the business as a man (ID and everything).

      He’s scum, and I for one would care not one bit if he is discovered facedown in a ditch.

    6. Pope Jimbo

      Bake the Cake! Wax the Balls!

  48. The Late P Brooks

    I do feel better, now that you mention it

    An emotional-support dog bit an American Airlines flight attendant Monday, resulting in an injury that required five stitches.
    The incident occurred on Flight 3506 from Dallas to Greensboro, North Carolina, operated by partner Envoy Air, American Airlines said.
    Medical personnel examined the attendant when the plane arrived. He did not require treatment and was cleared to return to Dallas/Fort Worth, where he received five stitches, the airline said.
    American Airlines did not say what type of dog was involved.

    “Git him, boy!”

    1. AlexinCT

      The dog should have been sicked on the annoying fucking TSA people.

    2. Rhywun

      emotional-support animal

      One of the more successful delusions of recent times.

      1. Would you believe they wouldn’t let me bring my support Kodiak on the plane?

        What sort of monsters are these people?

        1. Jarflax

          I need an emotional support Thai hooker.

          1. I wouldn’t want to abuse the system. I’ll just take my emotional support bourbon and be content.

          2. R C Dean

            emotional support bourbon

            Consider that stolen.

          3. You stole his bourbon? You bastard!

      2. ChipsnSalsa

        And giving people with legitimate service animals a bad reputation. That’s the part that ticks me off.

    3. R C Dean

      He did not require treatment . . . he received five stitches.

      Sure sounds to me like he required treatment.

      1. “journalism”

  49. Democratic Hitler

    My least-favorite liberal hot-takes coming out of yesterday’s hearing:

    “You can’t expect him to memorize a 400-page report.”

    Dude, it’s not like they were quizzing him on minutiae. He said he didn’t know who Fusion GPS is for fuck’s sake. The guy was supposed to be a supercop running a two-year long investigation. He should be able to speak to the KEY FINDINGS of the report without mumbling around about “what page number are you on?” It was fucking pathetic.

    “It’s unfair to rate his performance based on ‘optics’”.

    Uh, optics was supposed to be the whole fucking point, morons. Everyone knew in advance that he wasn’t going to reveal anything factually new. The point was supposed to be to “breathe life into” the report, make it something that really hit home with the unwashed masses so that they would finally start to rally around impeachment. Well, the only people rallying today are the ones who were the true bleevers going in. Mission failed, spectacularly.

    1. AlexinCT

      I DON’T WANT TO TALK ABOUT THINGS THAT PROVE I AM A HACK!

      /Mueller

    2. DOOMco

      They’re blind.

    3. R C Dean

      Yeah, he botched the most basic stuff, including that the report addressed the colloquial term “collusion” and said that for their purposes, it was the equivalent of “conspiracy”. Collusion not being a crime, and thus not something they could investigate, but conspiracy being a crime, they could investigate that.

      He also apparently had no clue about the backgrounds of the lawyers he hired, and managed to be so tone-deaf he had the lawyer who represented Clinton’s IT guy, the one who smashed her phones with a hammer, sitting next to him.

    4. Certified Public Asshat

      What is Aleppo?

    1. Best reply: este. Except for the dying part, of course.

  50. Rebel Scum

    I don’t think this is accurate.

    After the 1870-1871 Franco-Prussian war, a newly unified and victorious Germany occupied France, forced the French to pay reparations and annexed the rich Alsace-Lorraine borderlands.

    Berlin’s harsh 1914 plans for Western Europe at the onset of World War I — the so-called Septemberprogramm — called for the annexation of the northern French coast. The Germans planned to absorb all of Belgium and demand payment of billions of marks to pay off the entire German war debt.

    In 1918, just months before the end of the war, Germany imposed on a defeated Russia a draconian settlement. The Germans seized 50 times more Russian territory and 10 times greater the population than it would later lose at Versailles.

    So, under the terms of the Versailles Treaty, the winning democracies were far more lenient with Germany than Germany itself had been with most of its defeated enemies.

    No one denied that Germany had started the war by invading Belgium and France. Germany never met the Versailles requirements of paying fully for its damage in France and Belgium. It either defaulted or inflated its currency to pay reparations in increasingly worthless currency.

    Versailles certainly failed to keep the peace. Yet the problem was not because the treaty was too harsh, but because it was flawed from the start and never adequately enforced.

    False. The war started when A Serb National assassinated the archduke of Austro-Hungary and Serbia and A-H went to war, drawing in countries with which they were aligned. Germany and France were at war when Germany implemented a plan to invade France via Belgium. This drew England into the war. Germany was forced to claim all credit for starting a war that they absolutely did not start.

    1. Scruffy Nerfherder

      He’s correct in that all the parties were primed and ready to get it on, particularly Germany which was seeking to expand on its previous victories.

      1. Fatty Bolger

        Yes, they were extremely optimistic about their chances, and were just itching for an excuse.

    2. Heroic Mulatto

      A-H went to war, drawing in countries with which they were aligned. Germany and France were at war when Germany implemented a plan to invade France via Belgium. This drew England into the war

      This was also more complicated. After A-H declared war on Serbia, Russia and France mobilized in defense of Serbia. Germany attempted to avoid escalation through diplomatic channels (considering that Wilhelm was related to both Tzar Nick and King George, whom he thought would come to the defense of France), but Russia and France rebuffed them. King George told Wilhelm to fuck the French. Taking this as permission to be let off the leash, Wilhelm declared war on Russia. A few days later, Germany invaded Luxembourg and declared war on France. The same day, the Germans demanded the Belgians give them right of passage, to which they refused. At the time, Belgium had a treaty obligation to stay neutral in all conflicts, like the Swiss. As such, an invasion of Belgium was crossing a line. England demanded Germany respect Belgian neutrality, to which they refused. As such, England found itself obligated to respect the defense treaty they signed with Belgium as a matter of national honor.

      1. Heroic Mulatto

        In short, I agree with VDH that Germany’s actions after the July Crisis tipped the domino that started the whole escalation into a world war.

        1. leon

          Yeah, though I think France had done it’s fair share of antagonizing Germany in the previous decades.

        2. Raven Nation

          That’s generally how I read it although, the Germans had worked themselves into such a state that when Russia mobilized, the Germans assumed an invasion would follow.

          There is also pretty good evidence that the Germans were egging on the Austrians to “get tough” with Serbia.

  51. The Late P Brooks

    Oops

    A United States citizen could face up to 20 years in jail after trying to board a flight in Japan with a loaded handgun in his luggage.
    Michael Edward Applegate, 43, flew from Seattle and arrived with his family at Narita International Airport on Monday, according to the airport police. He was planning to transfer to a domestic flight to Okinawa where he was due to start a new job as a firefighter for the United States Navy.
    But when he arrived in Narita — around 70 kilometers (43 miles) from Tokyo — airport authorities found he had a Smith & Wesson automatic handgun loaded with 14 bullets, and a magazine loaded with another 14 bullets in his checked luggage.

    ——-

    The 43-year-old is in custody at the Narita International Airport police station, although he hasn’t yet been charged with violating Japan’s swords and firearms control law, which imposes an almost blanket ban on citizens owning firearms.
    If he’s charged and found guilty, he faces a minimum of three years and a maximum of 20 years in jail.

    Not smart.

    1. Urthona

      So the real question: did he travel from the U.S. to Japan with it first without anyone catching it? Because how do you get one of those in Japan?

      True story: post-9/11 I traveled from Laguardia to Dallas with a canister of propane in my carry-on bag (those small ones used for Japanese hot pot cooking). I didn’t noticed it had been stowed in there. It went through the scanners and everything. Nobody caught it. I mean it wasn’t a tube of toothpaste.

      1. commodious spittoon

        Those TSA agents just assumed you were doing some Japanese hot pot cooking.

        1. I mean, with the stereotype of airline food, why wouldn’t you?

        2. Urthona

          It just seems like having an explosive canister in my bag would be something they’d be worried about.

          But it at least wasn’t shaving cream

          I also just on a return flight had a pocket knife confiscated that wasn’t detected on the first trip.

          1. Sensei

            I seem to recall some shaving cream use(d) propane as a propellant.

          2. Urthona

            Speaking of which, I can 100% beat the liquid container rule by wearing a garment with deep pockets and placing the liquid in the pocket and walking through security. 100% of the time.

          3. I have never been stopped for not having liquids in clear plastic bags. Anything like that is always in my dop kit in my suitcase.

    2. Scruffy Nerfherder

      How did he get past our supremely effective TSA inspectors with a loaded handgun?

    3. leon

      When my granddaddy was in the Navy we weren’t pussy’s. If a Jap tried to stop an American from getting into Japan with his weapons, we’d nuke the fuckets.

  52. Count Potato

    “The Mueller path has pretty much reached its conclusion, finally putting to bed the notion that traditional legalistic measures will defeat this president. It’s time to consider another way. A politics of fear will only be defeated by a politics of love.”

    https://twitter.com/marwilliamson/status/1154403494327136257

    1. Scruffy Nerfherder

      Needs more rainbow unicorn farts.

    2. MikeS

      Was that a veiled threat?

      1. Naw, that’s what you get from a female Jihadi.

        1. MikeS

          I like the cut of your hajib.

    3. Rhywun

      politics of fear

      Now do “climate crisis” and “concentration camps”.

      1. Stinky Wizzleteats

        Those are simple descriptors of reality.

    4. leon

      Resist Orgy on Capitol Hill?

    5. I kind of like this crazy bitch, actually.

      1. R C Dean

        She does seem more harmlessly eccentric than malevolently pschopathic ,which is a nice change of pace.

  53. The Late P Brooks

    So the real question: did he travel from the U.S. to Japan with it first without anyone catching it? Because how do you get one of those in Japan?

    You can buy anything from a japanese vending machine, dude.

    1. But was it an authentic Indiana migratory handgun, or a cheap asian knockoff?

      1. leon

        Damn Hoosiers!!

  54. The Late P Brooks

    MSNBC business channel dredges up another Social justice Billionaire

    Chuck Collins is the great grandson of the meatpacker Oscar Mayer and the author of Born on Third Base and, with Bill Gates Sr., of Wealth and Our Commonwealth: Why America Should Tax Accumulated Fortunes. He is a founding member of the Patriotic Millionaires.

    Since President Trump’s Tax Cuts and Jobs Act was enacted, corporate America and the billionaire class have had a field day. As CNBC recently reported, the beneficiaries of these policies don’t fall that far our of the president’s orbit, let alone his cabinet: Secretary of Education Betsy Devos and her family’s generational wealth have skyrocketed since the policies were signed into law.

    At a time when wealth disparity in the United States continues to grow and the lion’s share of the expanding economy moves toward the wealthiest among us, the news that Devos is profiting off the policies of the administration she serves in is anything but surprising, yet wholly counterproductive to a healthy economy and functioning democracy.

    ——

    We are hurtling towards a destabilizing level of inequality and bold measures are required. Our elected leaders can’t make the 1 percent be generous, and I wouldn’t recommend holding your breath waiting for Devos to give away her inheritance. But we can require them to pay their fair share.

    Democrats in Congress should advocate for a progressive estate tax: with graduated tax rates starting at current levels of 40 percent on wealth over $10 million and rising to 100 percent over a billion. Under current estate tax law, someone with $15 million and $15 billion pay the same rate.

    ——

    We are at an inflection point: Do we protect our democracy or become a plutocracy? It’s time to knock the crown off the Devos crowd, so we can build toward an economy that doesn’t serve the interests of a few households.

    Wealth confiscation, FTW! Congress will know how to put that ill gotten loot to good use.

    1. Stinky Wizzleteats

      His family made their money repackaging lips and assholes as edible meats. He doesn’t deserve that money.

      1. Raston Bot

        he took castoff lips and a-holes and created a food that children absolutely crave at cookouts.

        if he doesn’t deserve that money, then nobody does.

    2. WTF

      yet wholly counterproductive to a healthy economy and functioning democracy.
      a destabilizing level of inequality

      Assertions without evidence FTW!

    3. “rising to 100 percent over a billion”

      Dear Lord. I’m not a billionaire but I would take up arms to prevent this.

      1. R C Dean

        They’d need to pair that with capital controls, which they already have good start on with FATCA. Capital controls, of course, being a common feature in socialist shitholes, so really its no surprise.

      2. Certified Public Asshat

        What’s the big deal, billionaires have billions of cash.

      3. Rhywun

        It’s just another way to destroy the economy and swoop in with bureaucrats to save the day. I.e. same commie bullshit as ever.

    4. B.P.

      “Secretary of Education Betsy Devos and her family’s generational wealth have skyrocketed since the policies were signed into law.”

      So, the market did well during that time period. Crazy.

  55. straffinrun

    One of my daughter’s friends in our circle (ref to my Jerk in the Circle) sits at home all day with his grandma because his single mom is at work. So, this summer vacation I decided to teach my kid how to swim and invited him along. The other dads and I try to spend time with him doing guy things, but the kid still doesn’t get that there’s a limit to rough housing/horse play. Good kid. I’m just worried that if we don’t teach him how to hang out with guys without being the asshole that goes too far, he’s gonna have some big time trouble in the future. Any ideas? We’re going to the pool again in the morning.

    1. leon

      Hold him under water till he stops?

      1. straffinrun

        Not a bad idea. I got 4 brothers. You learn quickly the line between fucking around and asskicking worthy behavior.

    2. Sensei

      I’m struggling with this given that for Japanese boys having fun and rough housing the “kanchou” is considered perfectly acceptable.

      (OT – One of my favorite mistakes in Japanese was talking with my friend about work and mispronouncing “kachou” (boss – section chief) as “kanchou”. Although both are a pain in the butt of course. I think I started laughing at my mistake before my friend did.)

      1. SugarFree

        Boong-Ga Boong-Ga, a video game for the Korean and Japanese market that allows the player to engage in simulated kancho.

        Uh…

    3. Punch him once, hard, in the face.

    4. Raston Bot

      how old? how violent? teach your daughter to kick him in the nuts is my kneejerk response.

      1. straffinrun

        He’s fine with the girls. It’s the boys and men. He’ll hit a little too hard or shove with bit too much gusto and the other boys crack him back with anger. Then he cries. RC’s advice is probably the way to go. A good chance that he’ll just say, “Screw it. I don’t wanna go anymore.” I’m trying to find the line btw strict and just tossing him aside. Not my kid, though, so …

    5. R C Dean

      Next time he crosses the line, explain it to him and tell him if it happens again he’s not going to pool for a few days.

      Then, if he does it again, follow through.

    6. A Leap at the Wheel

      My daughter was kind of like that. I had to very intentionally take the following actions every time she crossed the line: 1) demonstrate that I could physically dominate her 2) explain where she goes over the line.

      For 1) I would usually grab one forearm and one leg and hold her down for a minute to 90 seconds with a very bored expression on my face.
      For 2) I would be very clear, direct, and clinical while continuing with the hold down. And I forced clear statements of error on her part. Like so: “When we were goofing around and pushing each other a bit, we were both having fun. I was smiling and laughing. Then you started punching me and pushing your fingers in my ribs. That is not fun. I was not having fun. You tried to hurt me and I do not like that. For a game to work, everyone needs to play by the same rules. You punched me. I will punch you now. I will hurt you. Is that a good game? (wait for no) Do you want me to push my fingers in your ribs (wait for no). But I am bigger and stronger than you. I don’t need your permission. You didn’t ask for my permission to punch me. So will punch you. (wait for her to explain that we should not play that game)” Then engage in active listening, restating what she said in different words. “Yes, I think that will make a better game. Are you read to go back to the better game now?”

      The important part here is that you can’t look like you want to escalate to the punching or whatever. Treat it as a game that they are playing wrong and that you want to get back to the other game.

      You need to be A) consistent and B) merciless about infractions, but not mean spirited. “You broke the rules, this must happen now” is the right way to address it, not “you made me angry and now I’m going to take it out on you” is the wrong way. Notice above I verbalized my feelings, but they did not cause me to take any particular action.

      Kids will respond to this, once they learn that you are consistent and merciless. Remember, he is not a “bad kid.” He is an uneducated kid about this, and it is your job to educate him. Show him the proper behavior and what the benefit of it is, do it in the context of caring about him, and he’ll grow into it.

      1. straffinrun

        Thanks. His mom is one heavy handed lady with him. No explanations. Just “Do it because I said” type mom. A lot of talking like you described is necessary. It’s beyond ironic that I’m the guy who’s trying to teach him not to be an asshole.

        1. A Leap at the Wheel

          Good luck. Kids (hell, everyone) respond well to legitimate authority that is rational, consistent, and supportive. Sounds like mom is none of those three.

          1. cyto

            With consistent being the key component, surprisingly. Inconsistent is a straight-up loser.

      1. WTF

        “Were you born a fat slimy scumbag, puke piece of shit, Private Pyle? Or did you have to work on it?”

        1. AlexinCT

          WHERE IS CHARLENE?

  56. commodious spittoon

    I’m listening to two coworkers (one black, one Hispanic) talk about Trump’s wall being a dumb idea… because it can’t possibly stop the drugs and sex trafficking and illegals. They also complained about Mueller being a total dud.

    If they’re emblematic of the rabid partisans Dems are banking on turning out in 2020, they’re in trouble. I wonder what these two think of trans men sharing their daughters’ locker rooms.

    1. commodious spittoon

      I wonder what these two think of trans men sharing their daughters’ locker rooms, and other planks of the DNC’s 2020 platform.

      1. leon

        Honestly? I think it’s mostly red meat for the right. I think most people who hate Trump don’t think the Democrats would actually do what they say in their speaches.

        1. commodious spittoon

          Wax those ladyballs, ladies.

          1. straffinrun

            Careful what you wish for. All it would take is one lady to say, “Sure, lay down” and problem solved.

          2. Raston Bot

            “we have this new wax that’s been mixed with crazy glue”

          3. You don’t even need that. It is possible to remove flesh with classical depillatory wax, especially from certain parts of the male anatomy.

          4. R C Dean

            You sound like the voice of experience on this one, UnCiv.

          5. pistoffnick

            “…possible to remove flesh with classical depillatory wax…”

            You know this from personal experience? ;^)

          6. I was never convicted nor found legally liable in any such case.

          7. A Leap at the Wheel

            I notice you haven’t clarified if you have ever made a victim impact statement in any such case.

          8. Well, the ‘victim’ impacted the ceiling with enough force that we had to bill ‘her’ for the drywall repair.

    2. Urthona

      I also think Trump’s wall is a dumb idea that won’t stop drugs and sex trafficking.

      1. commodious spittoon

        Yep. It’s not even budgeted for crocodiles.

        1. Urthona

          The Mexicans will simply steal the crocodiles and make boots out of them.

          1. Will they have those crazy elf-like pointy ends? If so, I’m in!

        2. There is a ‘Hire American’ policy, and the American Crocodile is a saltwater creature, so they didn’t apply. The gators who did kept failing the drug tests.

  57. The Late P Brooks

    Speaking of Betsy DeVos

    While Betsy DeVos herself is not involved with her husband’s family businesses or their overall investments, the income listed on these filings shows that her related organizations have likely reaped the benefits of the administration’s business-friendly policies. The DeVos family has an estimated net worth of $5.4 billion, according to Forbes.

    Ethics experts believe that because DeVos’ holdings are all private investments, including a variety of limited liability companies, government watchdogs are unable to track who may be trying to have influence over her and the department she runs.

    We just can’t know if she’s being honest. That’s why we need to restrict government service to poor but selfless lifetime servants of the public interest like Bernie Sanders and Hillary Clinton.

    1. commodious spittoon

      If the NEA wants a say in the SoEd’s policy making, of course, that’s totally kosher.

    2. Stinky Wizzleteats

      If you’ve ever held a job outside of the public sector you’re suspect.

  58. egould310

    I’ve been working in Beverly Hills this week, and taking time to relax and drink coffee, and people watch in the mornings.

    There are some Top Quality Grade A Fine Ass Bitches walking around here. Top Shelf.

    1. They’re also likely very high maintenance from a cash perspective, if not overall.

      1. egould310

        No doubt. But this Milf that just got out of her Mercedes is making my engine revv.

  59. commodious spittoon

    MISS! MISS!

    THE NOON LINKS AREN’T SHOWING, MISS!

    I start working for real on Monday instead of browsing the internet all morning. Going to miss hanging out in the AM links.

    1. So what’s the job?

      1. commodious spittoon

        BIM tech. Been at it as an intern for about three months now, they offered me a full-time position this week.

        1. Well, Congratulations then.

        2. Gustave Lytton

          Congratulations! So the offer drama worked out?

  60. cyto

    Mueller is over and the Democrat Plan A was a flop. So what is the narrative?

    Well, Chuck Todd says that it is all about optics. Mueller failed at optics, but the Democrats got everything they needed for impeachment.

    CNN… the optics weren’t good, but the democrats got everything they need….

    1. cyto

      Vox – Republicans are all about optics, but the democrats won on substance…

      1. cyto

        Also, if you leave a window open too long while posting, the auto-refresh will post for you. word to the wise…

        1. What auto refresh?

    2. Fatty Bolger

      They tried pushing the meme that Trump is “rattled” and that there is a “growing push” for impeachment, but from what I can see it seems to have flopped rather quickly.

      1. R C Dean

        Yeah, Trump’s scoreboarding tweets yesterday sure seemed rattled to me.

      2. cyto

        They definitely tried this one. I saw the same story 3 separate times with the same phrases – Trump is rattled (and worried – possibly due to vanity) and there is a growing push for impeachment. Word for word.

        You can tell which hacks are on the same slack channel.

  61. The Late P Brooks

    Mueller is over and the Democrat Plan A was a flop. So what is the narrative?

    The Eastasian assault was repulsed by our noble and valiant troops. Their casualties were in the millions. Victory is at hand.

    Also, the Victory Gin Lithium ration has been increased.