Wednesday Morning Emergency Links

Pray for Banjos. She is trapped with three small children in a… HOUSE WITH NO NETFLIX.

He not only lies to your face, he then spits in it. Fantastic trolling, Donald. The hat could barely do better.


Look at this horseshit.

Q. Cheater, cheater … awesome fella? For the past six months, my husband has been distant, secretive, and impatient with me while also being in frequent contact with his cousin’s wife. I assumed there was an affair, but it turns out that he was helping her to leave a domestic abuse situation, and she had sworn him to secrecy. They both swear that nothing happened, and I believe them.

The problem is that it doesn’t help. For the past two months, in my head, I’ve been emotionally on my way out the door. I’ve talked to lawyers, investigated my options for rentals closer to work, and been unhappy but ready to leave. Now that I’ve discovered I was wrong about my husband, I still feel ready to go. He doesn’t understand, since he was actually doing a really good thing. Which he was, but at the same time he lied to me and let me feel terrible—and he knew I thought he was cheating—in service of this good thing. In addition to being emotionally divorced already, I’m quite angry too. I know it was for a good cause, but I still feel like he reverse-gaslit me by letting me believe he was a cheater and then doing the “Ha, you misjudged me!” reveal.

My mother and sister think I’m being ridiculous and that he’s a hero. My dad thinks that your spouse’s well-being should come before anyone else’s and I am better off without him. I don’t know. It feels ridiculous to leave someone because you found out they’re not cheating. I know the answer is going to be couples therapy, but I want to know if I’m in the wrong or not before we go in there. I’ve felt “ganged up” on a lot recently, with everyone saying how good a guy my husband is. I mean, he is—but maybe not a great husband?

Reverse-gaslit. smdh

He helps his cousin-in-law out of domestic abuse situation, keeps his word when the CiL asks him not to blab about it and then tells his wife everything when he can. What a fucking asshole, right?


Red Dead Rapedemption

When Colin Bundschu first started at Rockstar Games in November of 2014, he says his new colleagues offered a warning: Don’t cross Jeronimo Barrera. Barrera, the vice president of product development, would often fly in from New York to visit Rockstar’s offices in Carlsbad, California, where they were all working on the Western game Red Dead Redemption 2. Bundschu was told to be cautious when Barrera came to town. Mind how you talk to him, multiple coworkers and managers said. Barrera, one of Rockstar’s top executives, had a reputation for screaming at people, and there were rumors that he had shouted at staff who’d rubbed him the wrong way, telling them they were fired.

So Bundschu wasn’t sure what to do when, at a work gathering shortly after he started, he says Barrera groped him, asked Bundschu to sit on his lap, and rubbed his inner thigh area. These allegations about events from 2014 are being made public for the first time today, but in the days after the incident allegedly happened, Bundschu filed a report to Rockstar’s human resources department and told at least four other people. After an HR investigation that involved speaking to Barrera and others present, and following a dispute over whether Barrera had denied the accusation or told Rockstar he didn’t remember, the company ultimately found Bundschu’s account to be unsubstantiated. A few months after that, Bundschu left Rockstar, and eventually, he exited the video game industry.

Read further to revel in the drugged-up grope culture that creates your favorite games. While, of course, I caress your inner thigh. Your soft inner-thigh.


 

Comments

544 responses to “Wednesday Morning Emergency Links”

  1. leon

    That Trump tweet is the best thing ever. Of course the first response is how Trump is gaslighting us. Because it is obvious that Trump is trying to lie to everyone. It’s definitely not the side that uncritically spread the lie that he prefered Kim to Biden.

    1. MikeS

      Dammit, Leon! I thought I’d get first this time, for sure!

      1. leon

        You got to get up early to beat me procrastinating getting out of bed to go to the gym

    2. Scruffy Nerfherder

      It’s a beautiful thing. We should all aspire to such linguistic jiu jitsu.

  2. MikeS

    Whoa. SF is up and at ’em early today.

    And now Don’s back to “sleepy” Joe Biden? I Was really hoping “creepy” would stick

    1. Tonio

      “Sleepy [eyed]” is supposed to be a code word for (((you-know-who))), but Biden is Catholic. Trump got called out before for using the term “sleepy” to refer to a Jewish guy, so maybe he’s trying to rehabilitate the term. Or just fuck with people.

      Best timeline ever, people. Well, except for that one with President Goldwater.

      1. I thought “sleepy-eyed” was a code word for Robert Mitchum.

      2. Rhywun

        “Sleepy [eyed]” is supposed to be a code word for (((you-know-who))),

        Huh, I did not know that. I was going to say I prefer “Sleepy Joe” to “Creepy Joe” – but not with that connotation hanging over it.

        1. I am going to need some serious citations that is even close to true before beliving it. And Even then, given that almost no one knows that some people somewhere used the term in that way, I’m not going to regard it as such.

          1. MikeS

            ??

      3. Heroic Mulatto

        I’ve never heard that. I thought “purple Jew” was obscure, but sleepy eyed must be some next level shit.

  3. leon

    Also Woot! Hour early links!

  4. Tonio

    These are like super early. Wonder if these comments will stick…

    1. MikeS

      Are you saying we are in purgatory right now? Creepy.

      1. Tonio

        More like Limbo if you want to go full Eddie.

        1. Scruffy Nerfherder

          Needs more paranoia.

    2. I dunno, but they will be sticky!

      1. SugarFree stickiness.

        1. Sean

          eeeeewwwww

          1. SugarFree

            You know how diabetics express excess glucose in sweat and urine? Well, there’s another bodily fluid that carries sugar out of the bloodstream…

          2. R C Dean

            So, your tears actually are sweet?

          3. SugarFree

            And yummy.

    3. SugarFree

      I rarely do the morning links and got the times mixed up. Run and gambol, children of Glibaria, these fruited plains are yours.

      1. Somewhere, under a deserted train trestle, White Indian wakes from his MD 20/20 induced dream.

        1. SugarFree

          I just assumed he finally decided to live out his philosophy and died after two days wandering in the woods, eating bark and licking rainwater off poison ivy leaves.

        2. Tonio

          That was beautiful, LH.

      2. hayeksplosives

        Glibaria— I like it.

        1. ElspethFlashman

          Me too.

    4. Rebel Scum

      Wonder if these comments will stick

      We just have to adhere to common decency.

      1. dbleagle

        It would be tacky if they didn’t.

  5. Tonio

    Idiot used to be an actual diagnosis. The “slow” (mentally retarded) used to be sorted into three groups: morons (highest IQ, capable of functioning in society with minimal support), imbeciles, and finally idiots (lowest IQ, require constant support).

    1. leon

      Look at the savant here.

      1. Tonio

        I see what you did there, Mister…

      2. It takes a village…

    2. straffinrun

      That idiot is acting like an imbecile. Good for him.

  6. MikeS

    Her dad almost had it correct:

    …and I am he is better off without him me.

    1. Yeah….I was going to say “run good man and husband, run!”

      1. Rufus the Monocled

        ….to the cousin’s wife?

        1. That would seem…ill-advised.

  7. The problem is that it doesn’t help. For the past two months, in my head, I’ve been emotionally on my way out the door.

    Yeah, you should probably leave him. He deserves better.

    1. Tonio

      I know the answer is going to be couples therapy, but I want to know if I’m in the wrong or not before we go in there.

      No, Hon, that ship has sailed. It sounds like you’ve already passed the point of no return. The only thing therapy will do is delay the inevitable and cost you two money which you need to start a new life.

      [I]t turns out that he was helping her to leave a domestic abuse situation, and she had sworn him to secrecy. They both swear that nothing happened, and I believe them.

      And while that may indeed be true, it was handled poorly. Suspicion of an affair was inevitable. And it’s quite possible that he engineered the situation to cause you to be suspicious because he wanted an out. It’s over; move on.

      1. And while that may indeed be true, it was handled poorly.

        Yep, dude shouldn’t have kept wife in the dark. That was idiotic. Either that or it’s more evidence that the wife was a low quality person (i.e. he kept it from her because he knew she would blab it to the family).

        However, assuming that she’s being honest with herself and she truly believes that he didn’t cheat, then the issue is with her now.

        1. I’m getting the impression she might be the town gossip. Certainly someone who likes to wrap themselves in drama. Otherwise, it wouldn’t have ended up in Slate.

          1. leon

            ^^^ this is strong evidence for that theory.

        2. “Sure you swore me to secrecy, but I only told someone right away!”

          1. I’m about as strong of a believer in “two people become one” as you can find, but there are things that my wife and I don’t share. She’s in a position to hear very personal information about our friends’ marriages and the like. None of my business.

            Granted, repeated meetings with an opposite sex friend/not-by-blood relative would probably be something that we would share with one another, but I trust my wife to keep her yap shut and vice versa.

          2. My wife bitched at me for years because I’m known as The Vault; if you tell me something and ask me not to tell anyone, I don’t tell anyone. Ever. So, she found out that I already knew that, for instance, one of my friends had proposed to her friend, and was pissed off. Whatever. After a couple of other instances, I finally told her: “You know *why* I know all this stuff before you do? Because I can keep a secret. Everyone knows I can keep a secret. So they tell me their secrets. Why do you think they don’t tell you? And how long do you think they’ll keep telling me if I start breaking my word?” She didn’t have a rejoinder. It might have been the only time she’s conceded a point in an argument. Now her position is basically that she knows I won’t keep anything important or relevant from her, and she’s confident that as soon as I can tell her something she’d be interested in I will, provided I’m not breaking a promise.

          3. Raphael

            *takes notes for future reference because he is pretty much the same way*

          4. A Leap at the Wheel

            My wife and I both have work-related confidences we are obliged to keep, but other than that we don’t really keep anything from each other. It helps that we are both pretty Vault-like.

            But I think if my wife acted like this bitch, it would be a different story.

    2. Drake

      If you don’t want to be married, just go. The fact that she wrote a published article about her obvious guilt makes her more annoying. She’s trying to justify the destruction she’s about to attempt on him in court.

  8. leon

    I can understand that if after 2 months of being convinced your husband was cheating, it could be hard to shake the emotions attached to that. You will try to shift then on to something else. I can understand why he kept it a secret. Don’t know if it was the right choice. Secrets (particularly ones that the other party know exist) are no good in relationships. Still she’s being ridiculous, but if he wants the relationship then he’s got to be willing to claim responsibility.

    I know some might find that wrong, but relationships are not about being right or wrong, they are about working together. She is in a bad mental state, they need to go to counseling and he will have to help her release the pain she felt for two months thinking he betrayed her.

    1. Tonio

      I can understand why he wanted to keep it a secret, but that was the wrong choice. Your relationship with your spouse comes first, certainly above your loyalty to a cousin’s wife.

      It sounds like she’s already dead inside wrt him. You can’t recover from that, not with all the therapy in the world.

      It has also occurred to me that he kept her in the dark because she is known to gossip – which is its own problem and would have come to a head eventually.

      1. leon

        Your probably right that there’s no salvaging the relationship. And from the snippet it’s hard to tell if either one wants to salvage it.

      2. Fourscore

        My daughter is involved in a situation like that, after 30 years of marriage. Finally got the courage to leave her disturbed deadbeat husband, only to find that their 3 grownup daughters have decided she is guilty of lack of compassion.

        1. A Leap at the Wheel

          In my personal and up-front experience, the children of an unhappy marriage are particularly bad at judging how well or poorly mommy and daddy treat each other.

          1. Fourscore

            Yep, In my own case I never discussed the reasons why, as my kids grew up they learned and realized the necessity of a divorce. I was careful never to blame my ex, since I was the only one responsible for me getting married.

            My son was married to a very nice girl from a great family, for a short time. I’m not surprised she divorced him. I’ve never ask him why and he has never volunteered any info. In my daughter’s case it was doomed before the marriage but a princess with stars in her eyes doesn’t want any outside opinions. (see the first paragraph)

      3. ElspethFlashman

        Opinion from 6 years of doing family law: file for divorce and see what happens. You’ll discover it’s OK, or not, and have to live with it either way.

        I have seen a lot of cases be dismissed mutually as the spouses realize, oh shit! this is what it’s like to live alone again, etc. And so after a few months the spouses reconcile. Even cases where there was deep distrust (hiding money issues, for example, which can be as bad as infidelity).

        Also: don’t go into couples counseling with the attitude”I want to know he was wrong” _first off_ because that defeats the purpose of counseling. You want to have the upper hand all the time, don’t you? Give me a break, no one is right 100% of the time.

        1. leon

          “Give me a break, no one is right 100% of the time”

          Sure, but when it comes to disagreements I’m sure LH is wrong 100% of the time 😛

          1. ElspethFlashman

            I readily admit when I’ve done something dumb, trust me.

          2. Nephilium

            LH, you’re logged into the wrong account again.

            🙂

          3. I am he as you are she as you are me
            And we are all together

          4. Tundra

            But who is the Walrus?

          5. ChipsnSalsa

            Where’s Poppy?

      4. Fatty Bolger

        I agree with everything you said. And it seems likely that there are other serious issues here that predate the “affair.” If she was still in love with the guy, she’d be angry, but also relieved.

  9. MikeS

    System of a Down may be talented musicians, but Serj Tankian’s voice is like cats screeching while they drag their nails across a chalkboard.

    Fight me.

    1. SugarFree

      That’s what makes him perfect as the lead singer of Vitaly Chernobyl and The Meltdowns.

      1. Tundra

        Whycome that hasn’t become a movie, yet?

        1. Dammit, Tundra!

        2. SugarFree

          It has been in development hell as a TV show.

          I personally hope it is never made. I don’t trust anyone not to fuck it up. Can you imagine the shit-casting for Y.T.? Or all the anti-anarcho-capitalist signaling? Is there any chance whatsoever that L. Bob Rife won’t be a thinly-disguised Trump flipped around to be an anti-immigrant raping monster?

          I mean, if you can fuck up a straight-forward story like Altered Carbon (yeah, I said it,) then I don’t want to see what they would do with something complicated.

          1. Tundra

            You are right. I withdraw the question and hope it remains as is.

            Raven and Uncle Enzo would have been fun characters, though.

          2. SugarFree

            Jason Momoa would be a perfect Raven.

            Enzo would end up having to be trans to tick off that box. “Auntie Enzo’s Gluten-Free Pizza Pie.”

            But, damn, watching Y.T. beat the shit out of skyscraper full of Feds would have been awesome.

          3. Count Potato

            Y.T.?

          4. Rhywun

            I personally hope it is never made.

            This.

      2. Are they still opening for Sushi K?

        1. SugarFree

          I like to rap about sweetened romance
          My fond ambition is of your pants
          So here is of special remarkable way
          Of this fellow raps named Sushi K

    2. Sean

      Excellent cover of Chop Suey:

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v1DKtl8wGq0

        1. A Leap at the Wheel

          Eh, now its just a shitty song with a good vocalist that would still be improved by removing the backup vocalist’s interjections. While technically a step up, still don’t need it.

          I’ve got a really weak spot for strong female vocalists and even that doesn’t save this for me when I could just listen to Floor or Satan’s Hallow.

      1. MikeS

        Huh. I could maybe actually listen to SoaD songs if these guys/gals sang them all.

  10. Scruffy Nerfherder

    SJWednesday: Glibs Hardest Hit

    Hey there, fella. I see you’re about to send a dick pic to a woman you’re interested in.

    I’m going to stop you there real quick. I have a few things I want to sort out before you hit that “send” button.

    1) Did she ask to see your genitalia?

    2) If not, did you ask her if she would be interested in seeing a dick pic? And did she say “yes?”

    If the answer is yes to either of these questions, go on right ahead. Hit that send button. I hope you get some excited emojis back!

    However, if the answer is no, I have to know: Why are you sending an unwanted dick pic?

    I have received plenty of unwarranted dick pics. Whether it’s through dating apps or Facebook messages or texting, I’ve seen plenty of dicks in a variety of sizes, circumcisions, and erectile states.

    And at this point, I’m pretty dick-pic jaded.

      1. SugarFree

        Transplaining.

        1. leon

          Finally a woman who understands mens issues.

        2. hayeksplosives

          Blessed mother of the papacy—what am I looking at???

          1. Tonio

            A queer, hon. As in the actual “Q” part of the rainbow alphabet. Sometimes called genderqueer.

          2. Tundra

            That’s what Q stands for?!? I figured it was our guy…

          3. prolefeed

            How is that different than gay or trans? It seems like basically the same thing.

          4. My non-expert conclusion is when you attempt to look 100% male or 100% female, you’re trans. When you mix and match, you’re queer.

          5. Tonio

            “How is that different than gay or trans?”

            Seriously, prolefeed? Srsly?

            I am, to use the vocabulary of the movement, a cisgendered gay male. In normal people speak, that’s “oh, he’s gay.” As in, the only way you would know I was gay is if you saw me on a date or caught me checking out another guy’s butt. And all the equipment is factory standard. My appearance and mannerisms are those of a traditional straight male; and that’s not affectation, that’s just me.

            As far as Trans goes, Trashy gets it right.

          6. Rhywun

            I’ve always thought of “queer” as “loud variant of any of the other letters”.

          7. Jarflax

            I’ve always thought of “queer” as “loud variant of any of the other letters”.

            Or people who are actually hetero but want to identify with the movement and perhaps dress a bit oddly.

      2. ::dry heaves::

      3. Sean

        That ain’t right.

      4. Jarflax

        Da fuq is that thing? Oh, wait, Sugarfree links, all makes sense now.

    1. Tonio

      I hate to say it, but they actually got one right. Sending unsolicited penis pics is a dick move. I’m surprised they didn’t accuse those senders of sexual assault via SMS.

      1. Scruffy Nerfherder

        Somebody tell Carlos Danger quick.

        1. I was going to put a most unfortunate pic up here, of said Anthony W.

          Fortunately, I managed to reconsider, in time.

          1. MikeS

            Thank goodness. I saw the tell-tale ellipses and was afraid to hit refresh.

          2. Rhywun

            We’ve all seen it, hon. No need.

      2. Scruffy Nerfherder

        In all honesty, I find the humor in the fact that this “advice for men” is published on Everyday Feminism by a man pretending to be a woman who is probably vastly exaggerating their own personal history of dick pics.

        Otherwise, the advice is sound.

        1. Tonio

          ^This. Also, thank you for once again wading into those fever swamps and reporting back to us.

          I suspect that the author has received numerous dick picks, mostly from a certain sort of gay male. Some of the really butch guys like twinks, sissies, queers, etc.

      3. Rhywun

        Sending unsolicited penis pics is a dick move.

        This. I don’t know how much it really happens but like all bad behavior I guess, it’s hard for me to fathom that people need to be told not to do that.

        1. SugarFree

          What men should know is that an unsolicited dick pic will be shown to her female and gay male friends. And an attempt will be made to show her straight friend at work, even after he asks her to stop doing that.

  11. leon

    “After an HR investigation that involved speaking to Barrera and others present, and following a dispute over whether Barrera had denied the accusation or told Rockstar he didn’t remember, the company ultimately found Bundschu’s account to be unsubstantiated. ”

    I understand the whole possiblity for HR to be in senior managers pockets. I’ve never seen it, but it’s definitely a possibility. However it is interesting that such investigations, which seem like they should be worth something, are always discounted in these stories. The thread of this one reads: he did all the right things and the guy didn’t get fired. It assumes the accusations are true. You can’t read it without assuming that. But you look at the evidence in the article, and there isn’t a lot to say you should make that assumption.

    I’m not saying it did or didn’t happen, I’m saying there’s no reason to stipulate one or the other.

    1. Oh come now….why bother writing an article on something that might not be true? How boring is that?!!!

      1. Jarflax

        +1000000000000000 Russian collusion stories?

    2. Rhywun

      That is the impression I got too. Well, that, and “can I have the last ten minutes of my life back”.

    3. A Leap at the Wheel

      HR’s job isn’t to protect a firm’s human assets. It is to protect the firm from the firm’s human assets.

  12. Ditch the flip-flops and comedy shirts: summer fashion for men
    Many British men struggle with what to wear come the summer. Here’s how to look cool during the hottest months

    “A lot of men treat summer the same way they do Christmas,” says the stylist Richard Sloan, who has dressed Chris Martin and Skepta. Just as it’s all festive jumpers and comedy socks come December, “It’s the same as soon as the sun comes out, men get out their comedy shirt and flip-flops.” In Britain, it could also be that we simply aren’t used to warmer weather, so when it arrives, we panic. Sloan, however, blames men themselves: “I think a lot of straight men let their girlfriends buy their clothes most of the year, then summer comes around and they go to H&M or Superdry and make … a bold purchase.”

    If men are inclined to treat summer fashion as banter, it’s probably because they are goaded by the high street. On a reconnaissance mission to Westfield shopping centre in London, the mannequins in Uniqlo, the bastion of stylish winter basics, were decked out in safari jackets and Mario T-shirts as part of a collaboration with Nintendo. Weekday, the youthful H&M-owned fast-fashion store that has produced some stylish men’s clothes over the past few seasons, has a window full of novelty T-shirts, one showing a smiley face made out of the words “Feelin’ Good Vibes”; another, two kittens above the words “pussy run everything”.

    1. Scruffy Nerfherder

      Needs more jumpers

      1. Tonio

        You mean rompers? I think jumper is britspeak for pullover sweater.

        1. Scruffy Nerfherder

          Dammit. I have failed Bad Fashion 101.

          1. I bet your teeth aren’t all F’d up too. Sorry, you will never make it as a British subject.

        2. Rhywun

          Those spandex tops that Aussie Rules players wear are sometimes called “jumpers” too (the formal term they use is “guernsey”).

        3. Certified Public Asshat

          Rompers, when you want to look ridiculous and make it harder to use the bathroom.

    2. Rufus the Monocled

      Men dress like the first picture? He also looks lame in the other outfits. What does it take to wear a pair of cargoes or (plain nice pair of shorts) and polo/t-shirt or linen shirt? As for shoes, there are plenty of shoes (and watches!) to complete whatever combo you choose. From Chuck’s to sneakers to boat shoes – whatever. It’s pretty straight forward for the love of God. Personally, not a fan of sandals but it’s popular.

      I kinda like the cargo/collarless mix.

      Flip flops in restaurants should be banned.

      Lose the beard. Go with stubble.

      ~ef~

      1. Rufus the Monocled

        Yikes. Ugly link. Sorry.

      2. Jarflax

        The Glib response to an article mocking men’s clothing choices is to advocate the cargo short…

        1. Sean

          *looks down*

          Sounds legit to me.

      3. A Leap at the Wheel

        Mother of God, they are advocating jorts in that article. Jorts. In 2019! That’s only appropriate if you have a youtube woodworking channel.

    3. A Leap at the Wheel

      Yeah, lots of grown up boys don’t know how to dress like dignified men – New Balance sneakers; bright white crew socks (athletic logo on ankle OK); grey, green, or plaid cargo shorts; button down, short sleeve camp shirt; SPF floppy hat from Duluth Trading company; $7 aviators from Target.

    4. kinnath

      Once it is warm enough to ditch long sleeves, this is what I wear:

      https://www.johariwest.com/collections/frontpage

      But no palm trees. Too fucking cliche.

      1. I need the long sleeves to keep the sun off my arms.

    5. I usually wear military green cargo or tan shorts. A nice polo shirt – (discount) Versace, Armani, Soviet, or Firetrap – unless it’s really hot out. Then it’s time for a clean t-shirt. Either a retro Coldwave or 80s band, Armani Exchange, or plain black Emporio Armani black t-shirt. Birkenstock (closed heel) London shoes.

      And no, I don’t tuck in the shirt and wear a belt. That just looks well – old man golfer.

      1. kinnath

        old man golfer

        I resemble that remark most weekends.

      2. If you don’t wear a belt, what do you hang stuff on? I need a belt for my paddle holster.

        1. penis holster?

        2. Tundra

          For sure. I bought a KORE about a year ago and still love it. It looks like a normal belt and the quick adjust is great for when you remove or replace the holster.

          Cargo shorts (with belt) t-shirt, untucked short sleeved collared shirt and, of course, flip flops.

          Baseball cap optional.

  13. Scruffy Nerfherder

    SJWednesday: Python Saviour

    Van Rossum believes that the different attitudes of women and men in programming communities is due to wider societal problems that we need to fix from the bottom up. “I’ve always felt that feminism was right and we need to change the whole society,” he said. In the meantime, he feels a responsibility to act in the places he has influence, like in the Python community.

    He believes the key to making open-source communities more inclusive is establishing (and enforcing) codes of conduct and mentoring. Van Rossum says that he now mentors women and underrepresented minority programmers. “But white guys can forget it,” he said. “They are not the ones who need it most.” (In typical programmer speak, he calls mentoring a “completely distributed, democratic approach.”)

    Rather, he thinks it’s important that men are educated about their biases. “[There are] some guys who are super defensive when you tell about this shit, but the majority of guys just don’t know any better,” he said. “The first time I heard the term unconscious bias was maybe five years ago and it was an eye opener.” It’s changed him, and he thinks it could change others.

    1. Tonio

      Job enhancing training for some, shrill hectoring about things completely unrelated to coding for others. Seems like a winning strategy.

      #GWGB

      1. leon

        To be fair, being hectored about things unrelated to coding is great job training for programmers

    2. SugarFree

      Sell your Python shares.

    3. leon

      “Van Rossum says that he now mentors women ”

      Sexual harassment claim in 3…2…

      Also:
      “But white guys can forget it,” he said. “They are not the ones who need it most.”

      Backhanded compliment or sweetened sexism/racism

      Also, also:

      I love python.

      1. Scruffy Nerfherder

        My first thought was “There’s no way he’s not getting handsy with the chicks.,”

        1. Tonio

          ^This.

          Remember that the worst offenders during the #METOO panic were the big liberal men who claimed to be pro-women.

          1. MikeS

            Oh, they were “pro-women”, alright.

      2. Rhywun

        I don’t like Python and this seals the deal. Mr. Benevolent Dictator can shove it up his ass.

    4. Wait, what does this have to do with rescuing Snakes in Florida?

    5. Rufus the Monocled

      Ever notice how everyone else has to change for their social engineering schemes?

      Blah, blah, blah.

      To date, Peterson makes the most sense about all this crap.

    6. “But white guys can forget it,” he said.

      That’s racist.

  14. Evan from Evansville

    That tweet is….epic. WOW.

    In other news, I went to the doc today cuz Lady gave me a respiratory infection and now I’ve got weird stomach thing going on, which is probably related to when I got c. diff a couple of years ago. We’ll have to see. Got plenty of meds though.

    Hope everyone is well.

    1. SugarFree

      You’re going to end up as The Boy in the Bubble. Be careful over there, man.

      1. Scruffy Nerfherder

        You never go full Travolta.

      2. MikeS

        Or he’ll have so many close calls that becomes impervious to any and all viruses. He’ll become a super hero called “The Antibody”. He’ll spend his days traveling around the world giving “vaccinations” to every good girl and lady boy.

        1. Scruffy Nerfherder

          +1 Tick

          1. Nephilium

            But the Tick is Nigh-Invulnerable, not impervious.

            SPOOOOON!

        2. leon

          Or… He is a sort of anti-hero. He’s collected all assortments of diseases on his person and acts as an angel of vengeance on anti-vaxers.

          1. MikeS

            Or…He’s like a Sin-Eater. He goes around having sex with sick people and takes their illness from them.

          2. SugarFree

            Or a reverse Dorian Gray. He gives his illnesses way to whomever he sleeps with. But only if he gives them a Rusty Venture during.

          3. leon

            Or he becomes so ridden with diseases, he becomes an ascendant god of illness

          4. SugarFree

            Like, he has only a few diseases to go, so he desperately hunts for a hydrocephalic and someone with Herpes 11 to sex up.

          5. Evan from Evansville

            That’s a half-truth.

          6. ElspethFlashman

            I am loving these story lines…. /gets out popcorn.

      3. Evan from Evansville

        aHA! But i get to control the remote!

    2. Raphael

      Hope you get better soon, man.

  15. Is Ukraine’s President Zelensky a libertarian?

    Servant of the People party of Ukraine’s President Volodymyr Zelensky has declared libertarianism as the basis of its ideology.

    “We have started to form our relations with him (Zelensky, – ed.) on this very ground – a liberal economic model, a liberal model of relations with relevant national characteristics,” Ruslan Stefanchuk, Zelensky’s adviser and representative in the Verkhovna Rada, said in an interview.

    What is libertarianism?

    The main idea of ideology is the maximum freedom and autonomy of the individual. The cornerstones of ideology are freedom of choice, voluntary association, individual judgment, and ownership.

    Libertarianism is not a monolithic ideology. It has different trends (including “right” and “left”). For instance, “right-wing” libertarians believe that property can exist for virtually everything. “Left” are convinced that the absolutization of property can violate the principle of autonomy of the individual.

    STEVE SMITH MASTER OF THE PEOPLE

    1. BY MASTER, MEAN RAPER IN CHIEF.

    2. Scruffy Nerfherder

      Chomsky hardest hit.

    3. leon

      Disclaimer: I know some libertarians don’t like the NAP. But most do. So why is it never used to explain what Libertarians believe?

      1. Festus

        It’s too darn sensible seeing as how most civilians see us as fire-breathing objectivists because that’s what they’ve been told from day one. I don’t have an Ayn Rand shrine in my basement but I’m guessing that some folk do. No skin off my pertater…

        1. Scruffy Nerfherder

          Where is Cytotoxic anyway?

      2. SugarFree

        Because our understanding of aggression is different than most people. They equate non-aggression as unmutualism, so not wanting to be taxed (stolen from) is the aggression. And preemptive violence is fine as long as is done to “bad” people to keep them from “hurting” the “good” people.

        The NAP is simply outside their axiomatic basis.

        1. Tonio

          ^This.

        2. Festus

          You have to “bed” people to stop them from hurting others is the punchline to every prison joke about molesters.

          1. Festus

            Curse your Founder Privilege! You ruined my joke, Ruiner!

          2. SugarFree

            Ha!

        3. Jarflax

          In a time where speech is considered actual violence by a significant portion of the populace, where national legislation defines not actively helping the ‘unfortunate’ as a tort or even a crime, explaining the NAP confuses people. Also if you let those evil libertarians define themselves as opposed to aggression it is harder to persuade people that they are Nazis.

        4. Cacciatore

          A libertarians aggression is different than that of a square…

      3. ElspethFlashman

        It’s not filled with sizzling Gypsies, mexican weed, or butt intercourse?

        1. Festus

          Don’t forget the Gamboling Casinos and monkey butlers.

          1. Tonio

            [hearty applause] for the both of you

      4. prolefeed

        Disclaimer: I know some libertarians don’t like the NAP. But most do. So why is it never used to explain what Libertarians believe?

        Non-libertarians are unlikely to talk about libertarians and the NAP, since they either don’t know what the NAP is, or they’re afraid it will make them look like arseholes when they then try to slam libertarians for trying to live by that principle, since most people think the NAP is a good thing except for (insert the stuff that they are statists about here).

        1. But it deprives me of the best in life, along with all the associated rape, pillage, and plunder.

          1. It’s harder to crush your enemies if you have to wait for them to attack first.

        2. Festus

          Fuck the non-libertarians. I’m afraid to speak of my political and social beliefs for good reason.

      5. robc

        I don’t dislike the NAP, but I think the Principle of Self Ownership is the core axiom of libertarianism, and the NAP derives from it.

        But, yeah, that isn’t the way it is explained either.

    4. Rebel Scum

      Libertarianism is not a monolithic ideology

      Depends on your position on deep dish pizza.

      It has different trends (including “right” and “left”)

      Many self-described libertarians are not actually libertarians.

      The main idea of ideology is the maximum freedom and autonomy of the individual

      Non. Aggression. Principle.

    5. A Leap at the Wheel

      In the genre of “squares describe libertarianism for their slope-brow’ed readers”, this isn’t the worst I’ve ever read.

    6. Heroic Mulatto

      Zelensky has come out in support of gun control.

      So, no.

  16. Mornin’ people.

    I don’t have a long drive today, so.. well…

    I find myself having done yesterday what was on the itenery for today, and am asking myself what I want to do during the last full day on the northern side of the border.

    1. Festus

      Hang out on Glibs, natch!

    2. SugarFree

      Fall into the nefarious clutches of The Permafrost Princess?

      1. leon

        I’m pretty sure you have to a brother and two sisters for that to happen.

        1. SugarFree

          Shut up, boy… Are you trying to get us sued?

          1. Jarflax

            Ok, I want the Narnia portion of my brain completely segregated from the SF portion. Please, both for my sanity, and because your chaos requires something somewhere to be pure in order to have the contrast that gives your chaos its bite leave Narnia alone.

          2. SugarFree

            Just this once, I will have mercy.

      1. That’s in Toronto. I’m in Thunder Bay.

        1. Festus

          Go skip some rocks on the murder/suicide river and whistle a happy tune?

          1. I am physically incapable of expressing positive emotions.

          2. I can feel them, but I can’t express them.

          3. Festus

            *insert Data Laughing gif*

          4. Jarflax

            Whistle a dirge and throw the rocks at children then, geez do we have to tell you everything.

        2. Private Chipperbot

          Thunder Bay? I hope you don’t have stitches…

    3. MikeS

      Go agate hunting down at the lake shore.

      1. What caliber do you recommend?

        Those silica species are tough, but can be hard to hit.

        1. MikeS

          Caliber isn’t important, but be sure to do it naked. They can smell textiles.

          1. I’d rather not.

          2. MikeS

            Thunder Bay says, “Thanks, eh!”

    4. Rhywun

      Fill up on poutine, of course.

    5. Enough About Palin

      Go to Kakabeka Falls. It’s just a half hour from Thunder Bay.

      When I was in high school we canoed about 200 miles north of the boarder and stopped there on the way up. I came just moments from accidentally running over the edge.

      https://www.ontarioparks.com/park/kakabekafalls

    6. pistoffnick

      Smuggle Canadian whisky across the border!
      Maple syrup heist!
      Try poutine!

      Or just come to Duluth. We have culture here.

      1. If you ever find yourself in Thunder Bay, visit “Fire and Spice by Man Vs Meat” and have the carnivore poutine. It’s delicious. Between the fries, cheese curd, gravy, hamburger, pulled pork, bacon, more cheese, and bbq sauce, there is probably 2-3k of calories on that plate though.

  17. Festus

    This is worse than Daylight Savings Time! I want to speak with your manager.

    1. SugarFree will be forced to do 1000 squats – under the personal supervision of Warty

    2. Fourscore

      I waited and waited to tune in. Was ready to read a comment and to post 0700.5. It ain’t nice to fool an old man. Someday there will be a day of reckoning. There are 2 kinds of people in the world, that that post at the correct time and those that post willy-nilly and expect some gratitude. Say it ain’t true, SF

      1. Festus

        Robbed me of an hour of sleep. I coulda crawled out of bed at 11 instead of Noon-ish. Bad Overlord! Very Bad! Go to the Grotto and reflect upon what you’ve done!

  18. Major Swedish Sex Survey Reveals ‘Strikingly Common’ Abuse

    Almost half of the women in the survey and one-tenth of the men stated that they were at some time subjected to sexual harassment. About 40 percent of women admitted to having suffered from some other form of sexual abuse. Another 11 percent of the women and 1 percent of the men said they’d been subjected to physical violence by those attempting to have intercourse with them.

    “The fact that sexual harassment is so common in Sweden is remarkable. It not only has consequences for the individual, but is also a clear marker for how equal a society is,” the heads of the Swedish Publish Health Authority wrote in a column in the newspaper Svenska Dagbladet, presenting the results of the survey.

    Considerably more men than women (28 percent and 18 percent respectively), believe that they do not get enough sex. At the same time, 20 percent of women say they feel too tired or stressed out to have sex, compared to 10 percent of men.

    Wholly 70 percent of the men in the survey admitted to watching porn, while about the same number of women said they never watch it. The researchers found a need to investigate and discuss the consequences of pornography.

    1. leon

      What can I say. There was something in the air that night.

      1. Tonio

        [golf clap]

      2. ElspethFlashman

        Chicitita, tell me what’s wrong. . .

    2. Let me guess – the surveyors decided what counted as “harassment” and “abuse” rather than the “victims”, because those numbers seem low for run-by rapings in no-go zones.

    3. Festus

      So a homogeneous society accepts an influx of aliens and notices a difference in behavior. Funny, that. I also featured the dig at porn and the begging for more research alms. The curlicue on the cone.

      1. Drake

        More like they lost confidence in their own culture so they willingly gave it up. If they were self-confident, they would absolutely insist on assimilation and respect.

      2. Rufus the Monocled

        Muslim male migrants in their 20s in hyper-liberal Sweden/Scandinavia.

        What can possibly go wrong?

        1. Rufus the Monocled

          INT. Sweden’s Interior-Exterior Ministry of Super-Diversity and Equality and Justice and Dignity and Climate Change Prevention.

          Blonde female Minister (in pointy metal bra. Reads report): Hm. Perhaps it’s not the immigrants who bring such beauty and wisdom. Can it be our indigenous males who have become more radicalized on Facebook by the alt-right and Jordan Peterson?

          Blonde male meekish attache: Madame, if I may?

          Minister (reluctantly and suspiciously): You may.

          Male: I believe, with all due respect and reverence to the fine feminists of Svee-den, males here are all cucked out and emasculated. We can not ask more of them lest they lose their gender identity completely. Men watching their wives sleep with other men to Gillette commercials is on the rise.

          Minister: We can do more. Something’s not right with these statistics. We need to be emphatically sure diversity is our strength! Now bring me your wife!

          Male (lowers head): Okey-dokey.

          1. Festus

            Gud’un, my felt-bodied compatriot!

    4. “investigate”. Yeah, right.

      1. Festus

        “discuss”

    5. Tonio

      Completely Anecdotal, but Related: A college friend is on vacation in Germany. She was traveling alone by train and everyone had to de-train because of a track closure. As she was getting off the train “a man” grabbed her elbow and tried to lead her off. I privately asked her “was the elbow-grabber German?” Her response was a simple “no;” very unlike her. Sounds like she’s actively participating in the campaign to cover up assaults.

    6. Scruffy Nerfherder

      The aggravating part of this is their refusal to break down the statistics along cultural/demographic lines.

      Much like the reports of increased anti-Semitism in Germany, the liberal authorities wish to use these statistics as weapons against their conservative opponents and crush all dissent to their plans.

      1. Rufus the Monocled

        Worse, when pointed out, they paint people as ‘Islamophobic’.

        THAT’S what people are growing tired of.

        The so-called ‘this is why Trump was elected’ theory.

  19. Drake

    Some crazy weather last night here in northern NJ.

    1. Festus

      Rhyun had to go downstairs last night because of tornado warnings. It’s acting like July here.

      1. Rhywun

        Got side-swiped by both storms. ????

  20. Rebel Scum

    Cheater, cheater … awesome fella?

    “My husband is amazing and I can’t stand him!”

    Women wonder why they can’t find a good man. They don’t like it when they do.

    1. Festus

      From the tone of the letter it sounds like she was already on the ocean liner waving a handkerchief.

  21. Fine ladies ready to divorce you for being a great guy.

    https://thechive.com/2019/05/29/wet-and-wild-wednesday/

    1. leon

      To be fair being a great guy is a recipe for being friendzoned.

      1. Drake

        They are wired strangely.

      2. prolefeed

        By women who crave being negged and treated badly, sure.

        Women with self esteem or who are over being treated like crap, not so much.

    2. prolefeed

      11 meets my taste in booties, but 40 or 45 FTW.

    3. Raphael

      10, 39, 45. Eeesh, I’ll have it without the divorce please. Already got enough of those in my family.

  22. Scruffy Nerfherder
    1. Festus

      TLDW…

    2. Rebel Scum

      one person play that looks at Marx’s life, his analysis of society and his passion for radical change

      Surely we will learn about what a lazy, useless, manipulative person he was.

      1. Rhywun

        Is this where we’re supposed to pretend that “radical change” is something to admire?

    1. Scruffy Nerfherder

      Excellently put…

      First and foremost, is multiculturalism a good thing? When multiculturalism emerges through voluntary interactions it is apparently valuable — otherwise it would not occur in a free society as it so often does. Again: in the marketplace there is, over time, the beautiful possibility that the identity of the tribe expands by including, assimilating and adapting to previously unknown things. Adaptation and cultural appropriation by means of voluntary associations cannot be a bad thing! But in such a situation; isn’t multiculturalism a misnomer? I would rather call it an emergent convergence towards a shared culture, in a pace that participants set. All in all: a desirable thing, especially compared to the alternatives.

      Forced multiculturalism, on the other hand, increases polarisation and tribalism along the most basic, and most easily recognised dividing lines. In times of flux; easily distinguishable traits tend to become elevated and adored, uplifted to a place of high honour. They become a substitute for truly shared cultural values and norms, which under healthy circumstances are necessary for cooperation. In times of rapid and involuntary change; they become a superficial false bulwark against the unknown. Instead of engaging in market opportunities across divides, we tend to spend time fortifying our positions. Craving security, we start leaning towards the totalitarianism of simplistic purism.

      1. Drake

        This – When Italians, Poles, and Greeks emigrated to the U.S. in large numbers, they were expected to assimilate. During that process mainstream America picked up some of their language, cuisine, and other traits judged worthy – the rest was scuttled.

        Forced multiculturalism = destruction of the prevailing cultural values because they are inconvenient for the elites, and blanket forced acceptance of the most distasteful, repulsive, and contrary aspects of the incoming immigrants. That can only result in resentment and eventually conflict.

        1. Rufus the Monocled

          In Canada, multicultural is a matter of policy and seen as an actual value. It’s no wonder dips hits like Justin come along and say things like ‘Canada has no culture’ and ‘we’re a post-national society’. They believe (and trust) all the nations of the world will bleed into one. Multiculturalism is foolishly seen as a means to an end and has incorporated the meaningless ‘diversity is our strength’ slogan. Quebec is the only province that holds this ridiculous notion (made policy by Pere Trudeau in the late 60s early 70s) with some degree of suspicion.

          Not gonna happen. And we’re seeing the limits of it play out.

          1. Drake

            Lack of any values = a value.

          2. Rufus the Monocled

            You can have all the damn diversity you want but without a system of agreed upon values to bind it, you have emptiness. Just a bunch of different people with different takes with no way to bind a nation together.

            Good luck with that in the long-run. Eventually, one group will aim to rule over others amidst the confusion and chaos.

          3. Drake

            Or it will just deteriorate into tribal warfare that the West hasn’t seen since the Dark Ages.

          4. Festus

            Certainly not to the extent of what’s happening in Western Europe or Britain but the resentment is building. Whether it be real estate prices in the Lower Mainland or the strangulation of certain industries by low-ball bidding, people are getting pissed off. The problem is that the people getting fucked over a barrel by this are not the ones with money or power.

          5. Rufus the Monocled

            They’re the deplorables who are expected to follow the commands of their betters.

            Ie Juncker and Hillary. Just read and listen to what they say. It’s utter contempt for the average citizen and person.

            And the media is swallowing their shit whole.

            Elections across Europe (nationally and for the EU) have been a dizzying ride. The media characterizes it lazily as ‘alt-right populism’ but a lot of those parties are more subtle than that. Plenty of them have gained support from moderates.

          6. Festus

            I’ve read that the EU policies are actually pushing moderates in both directions and it seems to be playing out. Just like the old Gypsy woman said.

          7. Fourscore

            Many years ago, in 1964, I visited England with my first wife. We visited her aunt and uncle, I’ve forgotten where but anyway, the uncle owned a commercial building with apartments upstairs. He rented only to single Pakistanis. I asked why only bachelor Pakistanis and he said because they had trouble finding a place to live he was able to charge them more.

            Supply/demand

        2. Rebel Scum

          expected to assimilate

          Yup.

      2. Rebel Scum

        is multiculturalism a good thing?

        Depends. Not all cultures are equal.

  23. Nephilium

    OT: I’m going to be down in the Buckeye Lake area starting tomorrow. Friday, Saturday, and Sunday are pretty well booked up with punk shows and beer fests. But I’m currently planning on swinging by Buckeye Lake Brewing Thursday night to sample their wares.

  24. Rebel Scum

    Fantastic trolling, Donald.

    He really is putting a red hot poker into Team Blues eye. Pelosi is likely correct that he is goading impeachment. The curious thing is that she may very well go along with it even though she knows better.

    1. Festus

      Have you ever met an elderly lady with a bee in her bonnet that knew when to keep her mouth shut?

    2. prolefeed

      Pelosi wants to remain Speaker of the House. That means not pissing off other Democrats, thus preventing a successful insurgency to boot her out. But, that might mean embracing tactics that may cause Republicans to take back the House and boot her out.

      Events tend to make more sense when you assume that politicians are in it for their own selfish interests, and don’t care who they have to step on to maintain or gain power.

    3. leon

      If the Dems have any big electoral success in 2020, it will be because of Pelosi keeping them in check.

      1. Festus

        I’ve noticed that the crazies are either toning down the rhetoric in the last couple of weeks or that it isn’t being covered so widely (Signs and Wonders!) You’re probably right that the word has come down from on high. That GND bullshit was Sideshow Bob-level stupidity.

        1. Agreed – I’ve been seeing less call for Socialism – well, minus Bernie – and a slow creep toward the middle.

  25. Could Dead Aliens Help Save Humanity?

    Humanity appears to be going down a dangerous path. We’ve developed weapons powerful enough to off ourselves many times over, for example, and we’ve been altering Earth’s climate for decades without much regard for the serious consequences.

    Similar behavior may have led to the demise of advanced alien races around the galaxy, said Avi Loeb, the chair of Harvard’s astronomy department. Indeed, this might help explain, at least in part, why we have yet to make contact with ET despite the profusion of habitable real estate in the Milky Way (a puzzle known as the Fermi paradox).

    “One possibility is that these civilizations, based on the way we behave, are short-lived,” Loeb said last week during a talk at The Humans to Mars Summit in Washington, D.C. “They think short term, and they produce self-inflicted wounds that eventually kill them.”

    So, the hunt for ET should be wide-ranging enough to spy artifacts left behind by vanished civilizations, he added — evidence such as burned-up planetary surfaces and products of nuclear war swirling in an alien world’s air.

    1. Tonio

      Sounds like someone wants in on the CAGW grant gravy train. Good luck with that.

    2. Scruffy Nerfherder

      The real answer is probably much simpler. Organic life and space travel do not go together.

      1. leon

        Yeah, that was my conclusion. Interstellar travel is most likely, not feasible

        1. prolefeed

          It’s possible, but it requires a whole lot of very specialized things to happen:

          You have to live in one of the rare places in the universe where bad things like supernovas and giant meteors and whatnot don’t periodically reset everything back to tiny organisms. Single celled organisms took 1.7 billion years to evolve into multicellular, and then it took another 1.5 billion years to start getting complex life, and around 0.6 billion more to get to human levels of intelligence.

          So, close to the galactic center or the center of a galactic arm is a no. Too far from the same, and the nearest inhabitable star will be too far away. Double stars are a no. Big stars are a no, since then burn out too quick. But if the mass drops much below that of our sun, it never forms a star in the first place. Gotta have an atmosphere where you can even see there’s stars. Gotta be on a rocky small planet with lots of metals, but not so small that no atmosphere exists. Can’t evolve into a species like dolphins that can’t use fire to work metals.

          And so on.

      2. -1 tardigrades

    3. prolefeed

      We’ve developed weapons powerful enough to off ourselves many times over, for example, and we’ve been altering Earth’s climate for decades without much regard for the serious consequences.

      Everything about this is wrong. Even if all the nukes were launched, plenty of people would survive. You don’t get to 7 billion in population by being fragile and easily killed.

      And the serious consequences thing hasn’t been proven, as evidenced by their hastiness to proclaim “the debate is over”. No one has to proclaim the debate is over about gravity existing.

    4. Grumbletarian

      Sure, or maybe the fact that alien civilizations that exist concurrently with us would have to be in generally one of three states — Less technologically advanced, roughly equivalently so, or very far ahead of us.

      The first two we wouldn’t be able to detect. Light from their stars might take tens of thousands of years to reach us as it crawls across the interstellar gaps. We could be looking at stars with civilizations living there that are just now sending radio signals, but seeing them as they were when their inhabitants were discovering how to make fire.

      The last kind we might be able to see, but if they’re on the other side of the galaxy the signals could be too weak or distorted for our technology to detect. And if they’re technologically advanced enough, they might decide it’s better to hide their presence from us, and we’d be unable to do anything about that.

    5. My own take on the Fermi Paradox – based on the history of the Earth, getting an intelligent species capable of higher-level / rational (and long-term thinking) is exceedingly difficult. Of the billions of years of life on our planet, only a small, small fraction of that produced humans. Dinosaurs ruled the world for a much longer time, and they were (eventually) a biological dead end. To get a creature that can even do spaceflight – or even radio communications – is exceedingly rare.

      I’m not saying that alien life is sparse – I imagine worlds teeming with life – but only a few spread across our galaxy have the ability to reason – like us – beyond the apes, dolphins, whales, etc.

      Also agree that interstellar travel is hard – given the engineering involved and the massive distances between stars.

      Of course there are billions and billions of stars, and billions of galaxies – so even small, rare chances will produce millions of results. But given the distances involved, finding these other intelligent lifeforms is going to be hard.

      1. robc

        “Dinosaurs ruled the world for a much longer time, and they were (eventually) a biological dead end.”

        Dinosaurs still roam the world. No dead end there.

        1. Indeed. There are more species of dinosaur alive today than there are mammals.

          We call them birds.

        2. yeah I mean the big fuckers. fuckers.

          1. Festus

            Akxchually if you didn’t want pedanticism, you wouldn’t have signed on to Glibertarians.com. *sniffs own armpit*

          2. Festus

            I tied that fly myself, little fishy! That’s twice I’ve caught one of you!

      2. Drake

        I’ve come to believe that there have been many intelligent species in just this galaxy. But they end up sidetracked by crazy political ideas like communism, get hooked on computers which are a lot easier to make than long-range spacecraft. Eventually they upload themselves into the computers, or just de-evolve back into less intelligent species due to lack of competition / evolutionary pressure.

        1. Scruffy Nerfherder

          David Brin’s Existence covers this pretty well. Humanity expends its last resources creating AI seeds to shoot off into the galaxy like Warty’s Doomcock Projectiles.

      3. Rhywun

        Agree – space and time are so vast that millions of intelligent species could have risen and fallen (or singularitied themselves) and we’d have no idea.

      4. Jarflax

        I think the Fermi Paradox is akin to arguing about how many angels can dance on the head of a pin. 1. We are factually in the situation that we have not detected alien life. 2. Given the size of the Universe it is likely that somewhere is another intelligent species. Attempting to explain 1 as in paradoxical tension with 2 is pointless until we have some data on which to theorize. The possibilities are endless, ranging from rarity of intelligent life, impossibility of interstellar travel, and all the other exciting theories down to, the simple possibility that we just haven’t seen their signals yet. It is akin to theorizing about long term climate trends which are events that occur over many millennia, based on a dataset that covers about a century.

    6. Suthenboy

      Wait….I thought we were seeing ET three times a day for years? Isn’t the Navy having tea with them on a regular basis now?

      I guess if I want to know which it is I just have to figure out which scenario means more money.

    7. WTF

      we’ve been altering Earth’s climate for decades

      Assertion without evidence.

  26. robc

    First beer from BIF review, my scale below:

    5 – best beers in world
    4 – I would order regularly
    3 – If best on tap, I am happy
    2 – Free beer? yes, please.
    1 – Free beer? No thanks, I will drink water
    0 – Dixie White Mousse

    DanG hand delivered a selection of New England beers and threw a bonus PA beer in to the mix that he picked up along the way. I had it last night, Red Mo Ale from Otto’s Pub and Brewery, State College PA.

    It scores 3.67 on beeradvocate.com.

    A red ale with a touch of hop bite. I would have preferred a bit more hops, it was drinkable. I could see putting down a bunch of these at a party. At 5% ABV, it isn’t overpowering. I give it a solid 3.0/5. I wouldn’t go out of my way to find it again, but if I ran into it somewhere, I would have another.

  27. Certified Public Asshat

    This guy is running for office:

    Good on MacKenzie BezosStill doesn't change the fact that taxation is better than philanthropyCharity can't solve wealth inequality. Never has. Never will.A fair tax system ensures wealth equity for lower & middle class Americans (See USA 1940-1970)https://t.co/2PE1nIRMCN— Qasim Rashid, Esq. (@QasimRashid) May 28, 2019

    1. leon

      Helicopters are starting to sound reasonable.

    2. Raston Bot

      that would be one of the northern districts of Virginia that’s been overrun by big govt. it’s madness how the northern portion of the state is just so different from the rest.

      1. Drake

        The cancer that is DC has metastasized into Virginia.

    3. Rufus the Monocled

      No it’s not.

      Taxes are INEFFICIENT.

      Even tax specialists will attest to this.

      1. leon

        Efficiency isn’t the agenda. Radical forced equality is.

    4. Raston Bot

      he’s running to the hardcore Left to get his ass out of trouble for his antisemitism.

      1. Rufus the Monocled

        As an aside, if one is a practicing Muslim, Islam is but a natural ally of Western socialism. More so than conservatism since the former does advocate for more social, economic and political control from the state.

        Islam is all of those rolled into one.

        1. Festus

          I don’t trust anyone that doesn’t use a “u” after a “q” but I speak the King’s English so maybe that’s just me.

          1. commodious spittoon

            What a que—er, never mind.

          2. Gustave Lytton

            QANTAS isn’t that bad.

          3. Fourscore

            For an acronym

    5. SugarFree

      White supremacy stole his space bar.

      1. Rebel Scum

        Space bars, grammar and hashtags, are a tool of white-supremacy.

  28. Scruffy Nerfherder

    taxation is better than philanthropy

    Fuck off slaver

    1. robc

      I really can’t believe I live in a world where that can be said with a straight face.

    2. Certified Public Asshat

      Charity can’t solve wealth inequality.

      I wonder why you can’t just gift a poor person $100k?

      1. They did that with some homeless people as an experiment.

        The homeless all ended up right back where they started before too long.

        1. robc

          On the other hand, some of the experiments in Africa have found that cash works better than aid.

          1. So what we’re saying is, it really depends on who you give it to.

        2. Certified Public Asshat

          I was alluding to gift taxes, but that is also a valid point.

      2. Raston Bot

        poor people have mad financial management skillz, yo.

      3. Fourscore

        Anecdotally , the same people tend to win at monopoly over and over.

        /Winner/occasionally

      4. Fourscore

        If you can’t find a crime its always because of the coverup.

    1. Rebel Scum

      Also.

      You’re welcome.

  29. Banjos

    It’s 8am, power is out and I’m already sweating. And I have no coffee. I’m going to have to spend my morning at a McDonalds.

    1. Rufus the Monocled

      It could be worse. You could be ordering an UnHappy Meal at Burger King with (insert Glib of choice here).

      Good luck!

    2. The Other Kevin

      Find one with an indoor playground, sit back with a flavored coffee, and pretend they are someone else’s kids.

      1. l0b0t

        The Other Kevin wins with some sage parenting wisdom.

        1. Festus

          He forgot to mention the emergency flask.

    3. Suthenboy

      Why is the power out in Houston?

      I won’t ask about the coffee. I just used the last of ours…shaking the last little speck out of the bag. I just forgot to buy and was at the store yesterday.

  30. The Late P Brooks

    I’m going to have to spend my morning at a McDonalds.

    Desperate times call for desperate measures, I guess.

  31. Yeah it’s a few weeks old but advice columns are timeless (or not):

    I Can’t Sleep Through All the Honking, and I’m Beeping Mad

    Dear Liza,
    My husband and I moved into a new rental home on the outskirts of Philadelphia about eight months ago. Everything is great, except for one issue on our street. Every weekday morning before 6, one of my neighbors gets picked up by a driver who honks to announce their arrival: BEEP-BEEP-BEEEEEP!

    I am trying not to “Becky” the situation by overreacting, as white people so often do. (I am white, and almost all of my neighbors are black.) I’ve tried ignoring it. We even sleep with a sound machine now, which helps drown out the quieter honks. But I am still woken up two to three times a week. Is there an appropriate way to talk to my neighbor about this?

    —Sleepless in the Suburbs

    Dear Sleepless,
    You’re right to be cautious. You already know that filing a noise complaint would be overreacting, possibly exposing your black neighbors to police harassment or worse. But of course you need your sleep! Knock on your neighbor’s door and ask politely if the driver could send a text in the morning to announce their arrival rather than honk the horn. Failing that, suggest waiting for them outside. Then, the first time your neighbor complies with your request, bake the person a pie and leave a thank-you card.

    1. Sean

      If she only had a HOA…

    2. Scruffy Nerfherder

      I recommend sticking the business end of a shotgun in their window and telling them to knock it off.

    3. Raston Bot

      you voluntarily moved to Philly. that’s the ghetto doorbell. you’re lucky it’s only three beeps. suck it up.

      1. Decade ago, one of my drinking buddies lived in a crappy part of town. He called it – racist alert – the Nigger Doorbell.

      2. Scruffy Nerfherder

        My MIL lives in NE Philly. Gods I hate that place.

        1. Raston Bot

          It’s fun to visit when you’re young. I had a girlfriend in Cherry Hill just over the river ages ago.

    4. Drake

      You don’t live in the suburbs Becky.

      1. Banjos

        Why? You think predominantly black neighborhoods are automatically urban? I’ve lived in a predominantly black suburb.

        1. Drake

          I have a pretty good idea of what the “outskirts of Philadelphia” where everyone is black and cars constantly honk is. It’s the suburbs of Philly like Compton and Watts are the suburbs of LA

          1. A Leap at the Wheel

            I’ll bet you there are at least 3 “checks cashed here” shops within line of sight of her suburban apartment.

    5. Suthenboy

      A) What a bunch of horseshit. STFU

      B) Where do you think the moniker ‘honkey’ came from?

      C) Move away from Philly, find some RR tracks and lay your head on the rails.

    6. That advice is the Beckiest thing I can imagine.

      1. R C Dean

        I love the especially condescending “reward them with a pie”. Apparently, her neighbors are like dogs who get a treat when they do what they are told.

  32. The Late P Brooks

    They did that with some homeless people as an experiment.

    The homeless all ended up right back where they started before too long.

    The lottery is a giant experiment in social psychology? I find that believable.

    1. robc

      Also the NBA.

      1. robc

        Approximately 60% of NBA players are bankrupt within 5 years of leaving league. I don’t know if I buy that exact number, but the concept is generally right.

        1. I’ve been seeing Shaquille O’Neal in a lot of commercials.

          1. MikeS

            His commercials for The General are the best. Almost as good as Kazaam.

          2. Scruffy Nerfherder

            I think Shaq is just into making money. He’s always been game for a good gig.

          3. A quick search shows he isn’t hurting – my bad:

            After 19 years of making and breaking records in the NBA, Shaquille O’Neal hung up his size-23 sneakers back in 2011. But it’s now clear that he was just getting started on his second career as a full-time entrepreneur and celebrity spokesman. Years after his retirement, he is estimated to be earning $25 million to $30 million per year.

            Don’t forget, Shaq earned his undergraduate degree in business and went on to get an MBA and a Ph.D. That’s right, he’s Dr. Shaq.

            In addition to his ubiquitous commercial appearances for Icy Hot pain patches, O’Neal has endorsed about 50 products so far in his career as a celebrity spokesman.

            https://www.investopedia.com/financial-edge/0611/the-numbers-behind-shaquille-oneal.aspx

          4. Raphael

            I also heard he’s going to be in the Board of Directors for Papa John’s too.

          5. robc

            He already is. He owns a number of franchises, so was already known to the company.

          6. Raphael

            Ah, nice then. Good on the guy.

        2. Banjos

          5 years is the same number for lottery winners. The vast majority end up where they started after 5 years.

          1. The Other Kevin

            And yet, there are some calling for the workers to own private companies and vote on all the financial decisions.

          2. Scruffy Nerfherder

            I know exactly what I would do with a lottery win and I and my family would be set for life. I find it amazing that people could blow that amount of money that quickly.

          3. I’m gonna getz me a different colored Camaro for every day of the week /trailer trash

          4. Festus

            Trailer trash/Joe Biden.

          5. Scruffy Nerfherder

            That’s my plan too.

            There’s no way it can fail.

          6. The Other Kevin

            Mrs. TOK and I have had that discussion a few times. Honestly, we both like our hobbies and interests, we like the cars we drive, we like the house we live in. We just want to do more of the fun things and not have to work, and we’d like to go on more vacations to warm places. I’d like to think we’d stretch that kind of money out pretty far.

          7. robc

            The key is to never touch the principal, except to pay the initial taxes.

            There is no reason a major lottery winner couldn’t live very, very nicely off just the earnings.

          8. commodious spittoon

            And make sure your accountant doesn’t have the sniffles.

          9. robc

            I have often said I would prefer 2nd prize anyway.

            $1 million doesn’t change my life, it just makes it nicer. I would have to go on working, but the house would be paid off, could chunk more money into retirement, give some away, and still have some savings.

            And you don’t have to worry about some crazy kidnapping your kid.

          10. R C Dean

            Depending on the amount, of course, I don’t see a big change. Keep in mind that the cash option will pay around a third, after taxes, of the nominal amount.

            $1mm in the bank pays the mortgage and speeds my path to retirement. IT wouldn’t buy a second home, although I suspect it would get Mrs. Dean her AMG. Visible changes in lifestyle would be minimal.

            $10mm means I don’t work fulltime any more. And maybe we get a second home somewhere in the mountains. Or in Panama. I still have stuck in my head a lot we looked at years ago in Boquete that had a place to build a house with views of both the Atlantic and Pacific Oceans. That lot is probably almost unique in the entire world.

            $100mm? Buys us new identities and multiple citizenships. I think we would pretty much disappear.

          11. ElspethFlashman

            Hey! My work place we all pool into the powerball when it’s over 300 million. My plans do not include ending up where I am today!!
            Seriously though, there are law school contracts cases on the lottery ticket pool /don’t these lawyers remember those cases?
            And lastly: so far we’ve only won $4.

          12. Suthenboy

            So you are saying….you won!

  33. The Late P Brooks

    Charity can’t solve wealth inequality.

    Garbage in, garbage out.

  34. Tres Cool

    Hey from tornado-torn SW ohio
    No water no electric no a/c
    Beer critically low and critically warm
    Pray for me
    ————message ends———-

    1. Raphael

      Thoughts and prayers, thoughts and prayers. Keep Jugsy company, eh?

      1. Tres Cool

        Lack of a/c makes the “larger ladies” homicidal
        I just keep my head down

        1. Raphael

          May the Thicc Gods protect your poor soul.

        2. Rhywun

          Lack of a/c makes the “larger ladies” homicidal

          #metoo

          Though fortunately we aren’t quite there yet in NYC. Very cool spring.

    2. Nephilium

      Glad to see you’re safe at least.

    3. Festus

      I feel that. We got snowed in one time at camp. No amenities. 120 miles never felt so far. Good luck, Tres!

  35. commodious spittoon

    You don’t have to determine whether your husband is a hero or not; all you have to do is identify how your experience of the past six months made you feel.

    Forget what he did or didn’t do, ask yourself whether you feel validated in how you misjudged him.

    Considering she ran to a gossip column with the story as soon as she sussed it out, maybe he was correct not to betray his friend’s confidence.

  36. The Late P Brooks

    Considering she ran to a gossip column with the story as soon as she sussed it out, maybe he was correct not to betray his friend’s confidence.

    What are the odds Blabbermouth Barbie would have told the wifebeating husband, as soon as she found out?

    1. Suthenboy

      What are the chances? I am guessing 100%. I have relatives like that. By God if you ever want the word spread all you have to do is ‘confide’ in them. No amount of money in the world can buy you the kind of publicity that telling them something in confidence will.

    2. commodious spittoon

      “Stay away from my husband,” she tells the wife and cousin, making the situation all about her.

  37. I assume the flipping format change is because of some WordPress upgrade. It’s either squint-mode or not.

    1. Drake

      I thought that was just my computer!

  38. wdalasio

    What a fucking asshole, right?

    Here’s the thing, though. The courts almost certainly will take just that position. I wouldn’t be at all surprised to hear some judge find for her for “emotional infidelity”.

    1. commodious spittoon

      Gaslighting is emotional abuse. It’s pretty much marital terrorism, really. Dude deserves to lose his house at least.

  39. Banjos

    It’s safer in African than it is in London.

    https://www.bbc.com/news/uk-48353960

    1. Raston Bot

      sending their kids back to Somalia b/c England is too dangerous. that is funny.

    2. Suthenboy

      The country where, just a few decades ago, the cops didn’t carry guns.

      What happened?????

    3. commodious spittoon

      UK Somalis are sending their children to Kenya? Sounds like gentrification to me.

    4. R C Dean

      Christ, what a shithole.

  40. The Late P Brooks

    Speaking of Shaq and commercials- when he was a rookie, he did a commercial for some sort of soda pop (ha!). Probably Pepsi, but it doesn’t matter. Something about him and some little kid and the last can in the cooler, little of which is relevant to my tale. Not being a basketball fan, I was pretty much oblivious to who or what the guy was, but when he stuck his hand in that cooler (a pretty large many-cases-of-beer-tailgate-party-style cooler) it looked like a goddam shoe box. That guy has some XXXL paws.

    1. blackjack

      I had to rescue him once when his bike broke down. Drove him home in a Ford Ranger. His head was bent way forward and just barely fit. He had ridden all the way down the hill with the clutch lever in and it burned up the throw out bearing. Guy makes you feel like a 5 year old when you shake his hand.

  41. Banjos

    Sloopy and I need to buy a damn generator.

  42. Festus

    Poor Banjos! I love my Grandkids but if the power went out and they lost service to their myriad of devices I’d probably have to sell them all for medical experiments, either that or just drive away and change my identity. Maybe become manager of a Cinnabun or something. It was easier when they were wee. I have a huge tub of Lego that we’d haul out when everybody used to get sniffy. Not so much anymore.

  43. The Late P Brooks

    Sloopy and I need to buy a damn generator.

    I’m surprised you don’t have one. Too busy working to get your own stuff done, I guess.

    1. Banjos

      Story of my life.

    2. R C Dean

      I’ve looked at a whole house gas generator, and (briefly) at solar. In an ideal world, I’d have off-the-grid capabilities for electricity and water. Not that we have the capital for that now.

  44. The Late P Brooks

    No water no electric no a/c
    Beer critically low and critically warm

    But did you keep your powder dry?

  45. In general, the husband should tell the wife what he’s up to. However,

    in my head, I’ve been emotionally on my way out the door.

    There was a whole lot more going on in that marriage than him keeping the secret from her.

    1. commodious spittoon

      No kidding. She feels betrayed by her husband (understandable), and her response is to… betray his trust by taking it to her siblings, her parents, an advice columnist, and God knows who else.

      Just file the papers already, lady. You made up your mind a long time ago.

    2. Fatty Bolger

      No doubt.

  46. The Late P Brooks

    in my head, I’ve been emotionally on my way out the door.

    “I’ve been looking for the door, for some time,” is probably more truthful.

    1. commodious spittoon

      Too good for Waffle House?

      1. Banjos

        If Waffle House had a playland I’d never leave.

    2. Raphael

      THIS TIME WE’LL GET HIM!

    3. a reply:

      >>I don’t like the sound of that. Trump and Barrs justice department wanting to get mueller in front of a camera to make a statement wreaks of something coerced and not fully transparent

      1. commodious spittoon

        Just like Barr totally gaslit the country by summarizing the conclusion of a non-indictment rather than summarizing how the indictment could have looked.

        Hey, I remember when Democrats dumped on Comey for playing footsy with indictable charges before “exonerating” Clinton.

        1. Suthenboy

          Gaslit the country by summarizing a report that anyone can go read for themselves at their leisure. Don’t forget that part.

          1. Except for the Redacted bits that prove argle bargle flargle

            /MS Media

          2. commodious spittoon

            That week’s delay let Trump craft the narrative! Narrative crafting is CNN’s job!

    4. Suthenboy

      I can’t really keep up.

      Trump is keeping secrets….he won’t declassify stuff means he is obstructing.

      Trump declassifies stuff…means he is obstructing?

      Trump needs to let Mueller testify or he is obstructing.

      Mueller is testifying…means Trump is obstructing.

      How does anyone take these fucking assclowns seriously?

      1. commodious spittoon

        Trump declassifies stuff…means he is distracting from his teetering economy… from starting a war with Iran… from his very bad week in the news.

      2. The Other Kevin

        It’s actually very simple. Just assume Trump is a horrible, evil racist who does a lot of illegal and unethical things, and work backward from there.

  47. The Late P Brooks

    The key is to never touch the principal, except to pay the initial taxes.

    There is no reason a major lottery winner couldn’t live very, very nicely off just the earnings.

    There was a time when you could put a million dollars in the bank and live on the interest. Now, you might as well get a job as a greeter at Walmart. Thanks, Ben!

    1. Suthenboy

      “…a greeter at Wal-mart.”

      I could do that. Drink coffee and chit chat with people all day. Bills are paid….aint got nuthin’ else too do….just be nice to people all day.

      1. just be nice to people all day.

        That is beyond my skillset.

        1. commodious spittoon

          The coffee is all well and good but he lost me at chit chat.

        2. Rhywun

          Seriously. That was my first 7 or 8 jobs. Never fucking again.

        3. Suthenboy

          Grumpy fuckers like you three is what would make the job most enjoyable. I’d be extra nice to y’all, even fix you a cup of coffee.

          1. Raphael

            Them three as a Walmart Greeter.

          2. commodious spittoon

            I could use a proper cup. The two I’ve had today were burnt worse than Starbucks.

  48. Suthenboy

    “I find it amazing that people could blow that amount of money that quickly.”

    heh. Dude you need to get out more. I have a family member….not gonna say who….it doesn’t matter how much money. If she can get her hands around it she is gonna run out immediately and toss it in the air squealing “Wheeeeeeee! Wheeee! Wheeeeeeee!”

    It doesn’t matter how much. 20 bucks? 2 minutes. 200 bucks? 2 minutes. 2,000,000 bucks? 2 minutes. 200 million? it doesn’t matter how much. If there is anyway at all she can get access, consider it gone.

    1. Heh – a friend of mine from the old punk rock days once said: “I’m rich until I’m broke”. Every paycheck he would go out and blow his $$ on his girlfriend, the bar, and eating out. And then he’d be broke by the time the weekend finished.

      Flash forward 20 years and he’s still making very little money, lives in a hovel, but is still a guitarist for two local groups.

    2. Banjos

      And it’s not necessarily an intelligence issue. It’s a lack of discipline and being able to defer gratification. My father was a Mensa member and has had two bankruptcies.

      1. Suthenboy

        Bingo. Zero impulse control.

    3. commodious spittoon

      Has she considered tendering her candidacy for Fed chairman? Kurgabe would be thrilled.

      1. leon

        Opera applause

    4. Scruffy Nerfherder

      Oh I know, I’ve got a cousin who managed to blow millions of inheritance.

      But everybody loved to party with him, at least until he was broke.

      1. Suthenboy

        Distant cousins….their daddy was the mafia king of a south La parish. Old man died leaving everything to 2 sons. Son #1 didn’t want a penny. He moved to Tx and works as an electrician, keeps his head down and is doing his best to disassociate himself from the family name. Son #2 got every penny of 20 million.
        Five years later he was broke-ass broke, debt and not a penny to his name.
        I asked son #2 “What the hell did he do with it?!”
        In a flat voice Son#1 mumbled “Young pussy”

        I laughed and said “Makes sense. That’ll do it alright.” I am sure the casinos down there had a hand in it as well.

        1. commodious spittoon

          Pretty sure I read that Grisham novel.

    5. KSuellington
  49. “I’ve felt “ganged up” on a lot recently”

    She’s cheating. With more than one dude at a time! That’s why she’s leaving.

    1. SugarFree

      Being told you are wrong when you are wrong is very emotionally draining. And probably gaslighting or something.

      1. I was joking about her quote.

        1. SugarFree

          And I was riffing on your joke.

          1. commodious spittoon

            They should consider an open marriage. Open it up to a couple lawyers.

          2. Sorry. Missed it.

          3. SugarFree

            Ain’t no thing, man. I fling a lot and not all of it sticks. 🙂

          4. Especially when it was only gas.

    2. STEVE SMITH ONE MAN GANG BANG

      1. MAN RAPESQUATCH

  50. Huh.

    Due to repeatly booking two weeks or more worth of hotel stays through the same site per year, I’m in the top tier of membership rewards. As a result, the hotel I’ll be staying at in Milwaukee is throwing in a free bottle of wine. The email doesn’t say what size, brand, or even type of wine, but of all the things that are not particularly valuable to me…

    1. LJW

      Welch’s premium select

      1. Tundra

        It’s Milwaukee dude.

        Night Train for sure.

      2. If it’s still grape juice, that might be something.

        But the hotel in question is one that presents a certain image of respectability and refinement.

        I have no idea why they let me stay there.

        1. Gustave Lytton

          50 bucks is 50 buck. Same as downtown.

          1. While true, I still have the question “Who do I know that drinks wine?”

        2. commodious spittoon

          presents a certain image of respectability and refinement

          The concierge knows which escort services are legit?

      3. Scruffy Nerfherder

        Manischevitz

    2. Two Buck Chuck.

  51. The Late P Brooks

    If I thought Mueller was planning to apologize to the nation for his abject failure to evict Trump from the Oval office, and then commit ritual suicide, I might watch.

    1. Rhywun

      +1 Budd Dwyer video that I really should have known better to not watch.

      1. commodious spittoon

        That one looked fake to me, like something John Carpenter would have come up with. One that bothered me is the man who unaccountably managed to smuggle a gun into a questioning room, where he shot himself after the cop left. Just slumps over and drains out. I’m guessing a massive difference in caliber between the two.

  52. A Leap at the Wheel

    On a whim, I purchased a few Keyforge decks to play with my kid. Anyone play? Any thoughts? I live within driving distance of FFG’s game center, so I can go and play on any Friday and probably find a tourney.

    1. ChipsnSalsa

      more like sick (not in the good way)

      I thought you were past this stage.

    2. R C Dean

      Fatt,

  53. The Late P Brooks

    Land of the Free

    A 64-year-old New York state man who fatally shot a pair of prowlers rooting through his home Tuesday afternoon reportedly ended up in handcuffs after police said the weapon he used in self-defense was illegally owned.

    Ronald A. Stolarczyk was charged with felony possession of an illegal handgun, New York State Police said in a news release.

    At about 2:40 p.m., officials say Stolarczyk interrupted a man and woman burglarizing his home in Deerfield, New York, located about four hours north of New York City. Stolarczyk then shot the two suspects, according to police.

    No hints as to why the gun was illegal. I’m leaning toward “excess magazine capacity”. They’d probably be happy to let us know if he was a felon in possession.

    1. Rhywun

      Meanwhile “we” will elect Cuomo to a fourth term by a landslide.

    2. Drake

      Sounds like a good test-case for any 2A group willing to pay for this guy’s lawyers straight through to the Supreme Court.

      1. Gustave Lytton

        They’ll pass over it and let the lower courts’ fucking him over stand by default, rather than rip down the unconstitutional edifice that current gun control (NFA, 68 GCA, FOPA, the parts of the Brady Bill that didn’t sunset).

        This is what will not comply looks like. No way to legally use a now unlawful firearm/magazine, and if you do, you’ll be screwed. They’ll take his firearm, maybe throw him in a cage for a spell, prohibit him from ever legally possessing another firearm, and brand him as a felon for the rest of his life.

    3. Rebel Scum

      Sparse on the circumstances of the shooting but I’ll assume even the cops say good-shoot since they are going after him a bs and probably unconstitutional gun charge.

  54. Raston Bot

    Mueller closing the special counsel’s office.

    1. Raston Bot

      charging POTUS with a crime not something they could consider.

      1. Raston Bot

        “we did not say that he committed no crime.”

        he’s really giving the Dems some meat to OUTRAGE!!!!!!111111111111111 over until 2020.

        1. Raston Bot

          didn’t take any questions.

          1. Raston Bot

            he kept saying “the report speaks for itself. it is my testimony.”

            somebody else gave a fair translation:

            Congress, it isn’t worth your time to have me testify. I will be the most boring and perfunctory witness in history. The report speaks for itself. Peace out!

    2. straffinrun

      “People are presumed innocent and we can’t indict a sitting president. We can’t reach a conclusion on obstruction.” And I thought he was supposed to reach a conclusion on collusion. Silly me.

      1. R C Dean

        People are presumed innocent

        Then why is the bulk of the report about how Trump couldn’t prove he didn’t obstruct?

        we can’t indict a sitting president.

        Not the reason you didn’t indict.

        We can’t reach a conclusion on obstruction.

        Oh, but you did. You decided there wasn’t enough evidence to indict.

        Three lies in two sentences. Impressive.

        1. straffinrun

          TBF, I shouldn’t have put that in quotes, but that is damn close to what he actually said. Put a few… between and that’s what you get.

      2. WTF

        He was supposed to come up with anything he possibly could to smear a duly elected president.

  55. Ian Fleming Explains How to Write a Thriller

    The first was the attempt on Bond’s life outside the Hotel Splendide. SMERSH had given two Bulgarian assassins box camera cases to hang over their shoulders. One was of red leather and the other one blue. SMERSH told the Bulgarians that the red one contained a bomb and the blue one a powerful smoke screen, under cover of which they could escape.

    One was to throw the red bomb and the other was then to press the button on the blue case. But the Bulgars mistrusted the plan and decided to press the button on the blue case and envelop themselves in the smoke screen before throwing the bomb. In fact, the blue case also contained a bomb powerful enough to blow both the Bulgars to fragments and remove all evidence which might point to SMERSH.

    Farfetched, you might say. In fact, this was the method used in the Russian attempt on Von Papen’s life in Ankara in the middle of the war. On that occasion the assassins were also Bulgarians and they were blown to nothing while Von Papen and his wife, walking from their house to the embassy; were only bruised by the blast.

    1. WTF

      From what I understand, Ian Fleming practically was James Bond.

  56. “Tulsi Gabbard Apologist”

    “If we had had confidence that the president had clearly not committed a crime we would have said so.” Mueller

    1. Scruffy Nerfherder

      Presumption of guilt.

      What an asshole, but it does give some illumination into how the DOJ works. If they latch onto you, you’re fucked.

    2. straffinrun

      Why couldn’t he say that he thought the president obstructed justice? That wouldn’t be an indictment. It would be part of what he’s supposed to do.

    3. “Tulsi Gabbard Apologist”

      Normal person: So you couldn’t find a crime

      Prosecutor: No, the crime was there- we just couldn’t prove it

      Normal person: Then how do you know a crime was committed if you couldn’t prove it

      Prosecutor: Because I watch Rachel Maddow.

      Normal Person: You have got to be kidding me

      Prosecutor: You’re a Russian bot

      Normal person: I’m literally a human being standing right in front of you

      Prosecutor: You can’t prove that you’re not a Russian bot.

      *check mate*

      1. “Tulsi Gabbard Apologist”

        I’m loving watching the legal profession move from the Aristotelian “thought follows reality” standards to the Platonic “reality follows thought” standards

        1. Scruffy Nerfherder

          If he weren’t guilty, then they wouldn’t have spent countless hours investigating him now would they?

          Shades of the Soviet Union.

          1. “Tulsi Gabbard Apologist”

            This Russia investigation has been the biggest waste of time in the history of all time wasters. We’re only still talking about it, because the “respectable” people were humiliated by its results.

            They could have been trashing Trump for something legitimate or even bringing impeachment for something he actually did illegally (of which, there are many examples).

            “I have zero respect for anyone who every believed in this conspiracy”
            – Thaddeus Russell

          2. Scruffy Nerfherder

            They can’t bring impeachment for anything else because that would prevent them from doing the same thing when it’s their turn.

            It’s all a big fucking joke.

          3. “Tulsi Gabbard Apologist”

            Maybe.

            I’d rather a precedent be set that presidents can be impeached for waging illegal wars than refer to a lack of precedent of presidents being impeached for waging illegal wars.

          4. Scruffy Nerfherder

            So would I, but they’re never going to do it.

        2. Jarflax

          That is not a move. Legal reasoning = rationalization = reasoning from conclusion to argument. Or to put it in the words of law professors trying to gloss over the problem with that equation. “Your job is to take the facts presented in the case, and tell a story which uses those facts in such a way that the law gives your client the result desired” Legal reasoning is not a search for truth it is an exercise in persuasion. Of course the alternative is the European system wherein the State acts as inquisitor, Judge and Advocate all in one, or the Chinese system where all that matters is deterring others from crime, not determining if you are punishing the correct person. So…

    4. commodious spittoon

      Basically baiting impeachment, which was his purpose all along. Pelosi’s gotta be furious.

      1. straffinrun

        Buck passing, too. What is the point of having an SP if you’re just gonna say, “Hey, looked iffy to me, but I dunno.”?

      2. “Tulsi Gabbard Apologist”

        Amash is convinced that he committed obstruction of justice of an investigation whose legitimacy is questionable, at best. Yet, he insists that he won’t bring articles of impeachment.

        Seems like he’s playing the same game as Pelosi

        1. commodious spittoon

          That’s what’s so contemptible about the theatrics. Quit whining and file the articles, pussy. It’s literally within your job description.

          1. commodious spittoon

            Will nobody rid us of this troublesome president!?

          2. “Tulsi Gabbard Apologist”

            But, he’s so “brave” for regurgitating the opinions of the NYT. Everybody knows that the bravest thing you can do is parrot the NYT.

            If you’re principled and you actually believe that obstruction of justice was committed (after your asinine Russia conspiracy falls apart, which Amash insisted was a real possibility at the beginning of all this) then you file articles of impeachment.

            If you’re playing politics then you say the president obstructed justice, but don’t file articles of impeachment, because you know that will benefit the president.

            Amash is playing politics. And this should be obvious to anyone who has paid attention to Amash’s transition from a Ron Paul darling to a Beltway Libertarian since his second election.

          3. l0b0t

            Amash went from posting the principled underpinnings of all his votes several times per day while in the MI State Legislature, to posting once per day by the midway point of his 1st FedGov term, to once every day or so now.

          4. commodious spittoon

            which Amash insisted was a real possibility

            And sure, it was. It was a real possibility that the idiot did something collusive, or just winked at it, or had a subordinate wink at it. The man’s campaign was a mess, the transition was even messier, and the first several months in office verged on disastrous. He had a rotating door for scandal-prone, shady assholes coming into his orbit and leaving under a cloud of acrimony and mistrust. Fine.

            But it’s funny that people like Jonah Goldberg, who at least for the last several months has been making the point that the possibility of collusion may be illusive but not wholly improbable, are now confronted with the much more credible evidence that federal investigators and our intelligence community are ridden with partisan activists who took it upon themselves to stage a soft coup, but their probity and righteousness must simply be assumed because, well, Trump’s a shady idiot. You mean to tell me there’s not even a whiff of potential for corruption?

          5. Scruffy Nerfherder

            They cannot or will not hold the two ideas in their head at the same time. Everything must be an either/or proposition and since we know Trump is an asshole then our brave bureaucratic soldiers must be noble.

          6. commodious spittoon

            Man, that sentence is messier than Trump’s first term.

        2. Raven Nation

          Napolitano’s on the obstruction train too.

          1. Scruffy Nerfherder

            I’ll wait for Andrew McCarthy’s take.

          2. “Tulsi Gabbard Apologist”

            The difference is that Napolitano never believed the Russia narrative from the get go. If you recall, he got in trouble for suggesting early on that the US intelligence community might have abused the FISA process in this investigation. He was suspended from Fox for the accusation and Reason stopped printing his articles.

            https://www.washingtontimes.com/news/2017/mar/21/andrew-napolitano-suspended-fox-wiretap-claims-fiz/

            Amash bought the Russia narrative from the get go. He was one of the first congressmen to call for a special counsel. He’s a damn fool

          3. “Tulsi Gabbard Apologist”

            It’s the Russia investigation, itself, that is the barometer, in my opinion. If you believed it from the get go then you are, by definition, a moron. And you willingly accepted a conspiracy theory pushed by known liars which worsened relations with a nuclear power.

            Russia Fever Dreams were used as an argument for why we couldn’t leave Syria and why we needed to arm Ukraine.

          4. Heroic Mulatto

            Broke: Russia Fever Dreams
            Woke: The Yellow Peril 3.0

          5. Raven Nation

            Re: “conspiracy theory”

            Every now and then I teach a class on conspiracy theories and the Russia collusion thing pretty much checks off all the requirement to be one.

          6. Tundra

            Again?

            I remember when the Japs were gonna own everything. It was all Japan, all the time.

            Black Rain was a great fucking movie, though.

          7. commodious spittoon

            Been hearing about some Indonesian junk going ’round makes your soldier fall off.

        3. Heroic Mulatto

          Yet, he insists that he won’t bring articles of impeachment.

          That’s where I checked out.

          Shit or get off the pot.

          1. “Tulsi Gabbard Apologist”

            I would love to see him bring impeachment for something of consequence. I am not opposed to impeaching this president or literally any president if it is for something of significance- like waging illegal wars, of which almost every modern president is guilty of. I don’t care if no one else was impeached on it, so long as the precedent is set now.

          2. commodious spittoon

            File articles for fiscal irresponsibility every time he (or anyone) proposes a budget.

          3. Heroic Mulatto

            I’m of the opposite view. Even if Trump did commit impeachable offenses, I fear the damage done to the fabric of our society that would be a consequence of any attempt to impeach would be worse than letting Trump serve out his term. I mean, as far as we know, Trump hasn’t ordered the assassination of two American citizens like Obama did. If he got off scott-free then to make an example of Trump would actually be an injustice.

          4. “Tulsi Gabbard Apologist”

            You got to be kidding me. I always thought that you were of the “fuck them all” position.

            Obama should have been impeached too. What didn’t happen against previous presidents in the past shouldn’t matter.

            I would be 100% on board with Trump being impeached for continuing the war in Syria or supporting the Saudis in their war against Yemen.

          5. Heroic Mulatto

            I agree in principle. Pragmatically, I’m not willing to get into a shooting war just yet over Trump’s abuse of declaring “national emergencies” to do whatever he wants. There is a very real possibility that moving to impeach Trump would lead to violence in the streets. With the current state of society, I don’t see impeachment as leading to a restoration of our Republic’s separation of powers, but to a one-party state.

            I may write an article about this if I ever get the time, but having lived through the coup d’etat that deposed Thaksin Shinawatra in 2006, the parallels are striking and ominous.

          6. “Tulsi Gabbard Apologist”

            “I may write an article about this if I ever get the time, but having lived through the coup d’etat that deposed Thaksin Shinawatra in 2006, the parallels are striking and ominous.”

            I would be very interested in reading this article.

            Perhaps I am looking at the prospect from an American perspective where the notion of an actual violent civil war seems so remote that I don’t even entertain the thought.

          7. Jarflax

            Perhaps I am looking at the prospect from an American perspective where the notion of an actual violent civil war seems so remote that I don’t even entertain the thought.

            I think your mental image of America was formed in an America that is gone. It does not seem remote to me at all. If they impeach and remove Trump based on ‘obstruction’ of a witch hunt investigation I think it may result in armed clashes in the streets.

          8. R C Dean

            Its a dilemma. The first President to be impeached and removed will inevitably be the victim of a double standard, which will be very damaging to civil society. I don’t think we’d get an actual civil war with competing contenders for the legitimate government of the US, but I think the outcome would be pretty bad even short of that.

            OTOH, the current standard, if unchanged, will mean that its practically impossible to impeach and remove any President who manages to avoid personally committing a violent felony on camera.

          9. Heroic Mulatto

            OTOH, the current standard, if unchanged, will mean that its practically impossible to impeach and remove any President who manages to avoid personally committing a violent felony on camera.

            Which, if you look at the Roman precedent, is how I believe the Founders intended it to work. A Roman consul could not be prosecuted for a crime until his term was over. However, a consul’s actions could be vetoed by the vice-consul. Again, the Founders intended the vice-President to work like a Roman vice-consul as a check on the consul. If the 12th Amendment hadn’t neutered the office of the Vice-President, Hillary would have been Trump’s Vice-President. (And the potential lulz from that is why we don’t live in the best timeline.)

          10. commodious spittoon

            Imagine SF’s work if those two spent any amount of time in proximity.

          11. Scruffy Nerfherder

            I would like to see Brennan and Clapper held accountable for lying to Congress and spying on the Senate.

            If you want to prevent the President from doing illegal things, make his subordinates legally accountable and they will resist his worst impulses.

    5. Rhywun

      Epic weaselling.

      1. Raven Nation

        No word on Bolton Wanderers, but the National League kicked a club out this week: https://www.bbc.com/sport/football/48398640

    6. Lachowsky

      Deep state attempted coup.

      That’s all you need to know.

      Regardless of one’s feelings about Trump (debt bringer, war monger, and general asshole) the whole Russia conspiracy theory was nothing more than an attempt by the powers that be to unseat a democratically elected president.

      They did so (IMHO) because he said some shit during his campaign that would hurt the bottom line of the military industrial complex.

      Prove me wrong.

      1. “Tulsi Gabbard Apologist”

        You’re not wrong.

        But, the love-in for the intelligence community among Beltway Libertarians has made one thing clear: there is no room for anti-war activists within the LP. If that wasn’t already made clear by the last three presidential candidates that they’ve nominated.

        1. l0b0t

          And is there a place for those like me? A fellow who hates war but simultaneously desires a VERY strong ability to defend or retaliate if needed?

          1. “Tulsi Gabbard Apologist”

            “A fellow who hates war but simultaneously desires a VERY strong ability to defend or retaliate if needed?”

            Depends on when you think it is “needed”.

            If you think we are “needed” to wage “humanitarian” wars, then yes, because Gary Johnson endorsed that concept in 2012, along with endorsing the concept of sending special forces to hunt down Kony.

            https://www.weeklystandard.com/john-mccormack/yes-gary-johnson-endorsed-humanitarian-war

          2. “Tulsi Gabbard Apologist”

            If you think that the US military should only be used to defend our shores then you’re not welcome. But, if you think the US military should be used for defending our “interests” (always, purposely left vague) then you’ll fit right in with the Cathy Youngs of the world.

            Basically you’ll be a neocon in all but name (although Cathy Young does call herself a mix between a neocon and a libertarian, which is so adorable in a stupid kind of way).

          3. Jarflax

            I don’t oppose all wars in defense of our interests. Sending a platoon into Tripoli to stop pirates from preying on our mercantile fleet makes sense, arguably so did deposing the Taliban. But once you start playing the nation building, democracy spreading, humanitarian game you lose me. If someone attacks us, we should retaliate, and do so with as much force as is needed to win swiftly. Then we should go home.

          4. commodious spittoon

            I don’t know what’s Aleppo, but we should park some troops on it anyway.

          5. l0b0t

            FWIW – My back of the napkin plan would be to all but eliminate the US Army; perhaps reduce it to a stout, well-trained NCO core around which to center a militia type force but, as much as inter-service rivalry pains me to admit it, the USMC has been the only ground force needed in quite some time. Beef up the USN, with dual mandates of CONUS defense and keeping the sea lanes free for transit. And task the US Army Air Corps USAF with space stuff. transferring .

          6. If all you need is PR and spin, sure the USMC is your girl.

          7. l0b0t

            {Whoops}
            Transferring all of their (USAF) atmospheric functions, duties, and equipment to the other branches.

    7. Raven Nation

      Anybody brave enough to go see how Cato’s Julian Sanchez is reading this?

      I’ve done it a few times in the past and really can’t stomach any more.

      1. “Tulsi Gabbard Apologist”

        That dude is supposed to be a “civil libertarian” and yet as denounced all investigations into the intelligence community regarding Russia.

        TDS is real and it makes people legit retarded

    8. Rebel Scum

      That’s backwards.

  57. The Late P Brooks

    “we did not say that he committed no crime.”

    “I’m not saying Mueller didn’t fuck that donkey. We simply have no evidence to take into court.”

    1. Likewise, you didn’t say that he committed a crime.

    2. commodious spittoon

      Subpoena his tax returns for the last several years. Surely we’ll find evidence of donkey fornication.

    3. Fatty Bolger

      There’s no evidence that a donkey was fucked, though we can’t say with confidence that a donkey wasn’t fucked, either.

      If we had had confidence that Mueller had not fucked a donkey we would have said so.

    4. R C Dean

      we did not say that he committed no crime

      Nobody has said I haven’t committed any crimes. Does that mean I’m a suspect of some kind?

      Comey, on the other hand, well, lots of people are saying he may well have committed some crimes.

  58. The Late P Brooks

    Prove me wrong.

    Donald trump could never, in a million years, have beaten The Most Qualified Candidate in the History of Electoral Politics without outside intervention by an evil superpower. Of course the Rooskies did it.

    1. Funny how Mueller didn’t seem concerned that since Trump didn’t collude, that the *real* colluder is still on the loose.

      1. R C Dean

        He done already told us: No reasonable prosecutor would indict the real colluder.

  59. straffinrun

    It would be unfair to accuse someone of a crime because they can’t defend themselves in a court of law, but we didn’t indict the president of a crime because it would be against protocol.

    Talk about having your cake and eating it too.

    1. commodious spittoon

      I’m still in awe that Democrats can hold in their head the simultaneous villainy and beatification of James Comey for doing something they now insist Mueller must do, to wit, make the case for bringing charges despite being unwilling to bring them.

      1. straffinrun

        I think he tried to make the case as clear as he thinks he could. He believes Trump committed a crime, but is too big of a pussy to come out and say it. He’s hiding behind a rules when it serves him and still juxtaposing his statements so that it leads to the conclusion he wants. It’s fucking bullshit.

        1. commodious spittoon

          I think he’s doing his best to keep his confederates out of trouble. He knows he has nothing to stand on except politicking against Barr and Trump going after the FBI and IC.

          1. straffinrun

            What goes on in the minds of men, I don’t know. There’s not question that he is leading the dems towards going for impeachment, though. This Mueller statement is going to light a fire under there asses and good luck putting out that fire. Probably blows up in their faces. Who knows?

        2. R C Dean

          He believes Trump committed a crime

          He believes Trump is a criminal. He is merely frustrated that, like a Mafia don, nobody can hang any charges on him.

          Remember, he’s FBI. To them, everyone is a criminal. The only decisions are which of us to go after, and what is the most efficient way to get us in a cage where we belong.

          1. straffinrun

            Before getting his morals all screwed up working in the swamp, I imagine Mueller looked like this kid.

  60. Yusef drives a Kia

    Why does anyone take the Libertarian Party seriously? They will never win, people are too scared of losing there’s goodies. Just be a Glib, and discover APATHY!!!!!

  61. The Late P Brooks

    Just be a Glib, and discover APATHY!!!!!

    That sounds like a lot of work, man.

  62. Heroic Mulatto

    Biden to Young Girl: ‘I’ll Bet You’re As Bright As You Are Good Looking’

    Please, please, please make this man the Democrat candidate for President.

    Our country needs lulz.

    1. R C Dean

      If he would campaign for the nomination, I suspect he would be hard for any of the current candidates to beat. His problem is something like Hillary’s, I suspect:

      (a) He’s too old and lacks the energy for sustained campaigning.

      (b) The idea of him is much more appealing than the fact of him. I wonder if his polling, like Hillary’s, is inverse to his visibility.

    2. commodious spittoon

      Taken from AoS:

      What was revealed was the extent of rottenness in the system. If Trump had been a godlike Alexander it would have been one thing. But he’s not. That they are actually less competent than a casino manager and reality show host is too much for them to take.

      Yet it is nevertheless true. The real crisis of American governance isn’t that Trump is some evil genius. It is what a bunch of mediocrities the elite have turned out to be. Better to have found out now than in the middle of some existential conflict with a great power.

      — wretchardthecat (@wretchardthecat) March 23, 2019

      Tom Nichols has a sad.

    3. straffinrun

      He just can’t keep his hands off them, can he. Dude…

      1. ChipsnSalsa

        He can’t, it’s in his nature.

      2. commodious spittoon

        I’m leaning more and more on brain damage. Even Trump manages to rein himself in better than Biden.

        1. R C Dean

          There’s no question he has brain damage. He’s had a stroke. The only question is what was damaged, and how badly.

  63. Raston Bot

    Dem Senators going apeshit for impeachment now. AHAHAHHAHAHHAAAAAAA super easy for them to say it. can’t wait to see Pelosi’s take.

    1. R C Dean

      I wonder if there isn’t a way for the Repubs in the House to bring articles of impeachment, just to get this over with. Call the Dem’s bluff. They could position it just that way – its time for closure for the good of the country, let’s do this thing and get it over with.

      I suspect that it wouldn’t get out of the House.

      On the Senate side, Cocaine Mitch could bring a non-binding resolution asking the House to take up impeachment, again just to force closure. Maybe say that if every Dem Senator votes for it, he will arrange for enough Repubs to pass it.

      Probably the biggest stumbling block would the lies the DemOp Media would tell about it all.

      1. commodious spittoon

        It would be the GND redux.

      2. Raston Bot

        my guess is she’ll start a bipartisan impeachment commission of former lawmakers to weigh the facts and make her decision for her. and they’ll say no. shocker.