Wednesday Morning Links

Good morning my Glibs and Gliberinas!  And what a glorious morning it is for everyone as The New York Times obtained a decades worth of Trump’s tax returns revealing…what we all already know.  He literally wrote a book about it.  Good job guys.  I can’t help but believe that Trump releases these things himself to make the media look like idiots.

Good journalisming there, boys.

 

Seriously, in the same way with Obama’s birth certificate, I am starting to believe that Trump is letting the left build this up to where they make idiots out of themselves when it is released.

 

Contempt vote for AG Barr set for this morning for refusing to break the law by releasing grand jury information.  And he will face the same consequences as Holder.

 

9th Circuit gives win to Trump.

 

Florida Man arrested for telling the world he likes to eat ass.

 

 

Which one of you is this?

 

Homeless people are gross.

 

Salon trying to out-retard Vox.

 

69 year old North Carolina woman arrested in Florida with CBD oil, charges dropped after local news find out.

 

That’s all I for for today, I’ll leave you with a song and move along with my day.

Comments

413 responses to “Wednesday Morning Links”

  1. 9th Circuit gives win to Trump.

    Whaa? The 9th circus didn’t live down to its reputation of “doesn’t matter what the law says, orange man bad”?

    1. AlexinCT

      Maybe they were worried they would be slapped down real hard when them playing politics with this resulted in it being then expedited to the SCOTUS where it was sure to go Trump’s way? I suspect they ruled “for Trump” , but did so in a way to make it hard for Trump’s policy to be implemented the way the WH wants it.

  2. The Late P Brooks

    Not it.

    1. [tags P Brooks]

      Now you’re it.

  3. blackjack

    Not gonna let them catch the midnight ass eater?

    1. Count Potato

      HM is still on the loose.

      1. AlexinCT

        Wait, he only does that at midnight?

  4. Also, Mornin’ Banjos.

    1. blackjack

      Yes, mornin’

    2. Banjos

      Mornin’

      1. Banjos

        Mornin’

        1. Banjos

          Mornin’

          1. Banjos

            Mornin’

          2. PieInTheSky

            Loop

          3. Not Adahn

            It’s Saturday already? WTF am I doing at work?

  5. The Late P Brooks

    Who will go to jail for making Trump’s tax returns public?

    I crack myself up.

    1. AlexinCT

      I hear several of the people most vigorously demanding Trump’s information be released were furious with those that asked for Obama or their own information to be shared as well. Goose/Gander is not something popular with these tools.

  6. PieInTheSky

    Good afternoon… One more hour of work and I don’t really feel like it

    1. PieInTheSky

      Also Demi is in the Fail sidebar someone post it quick!

      1. Trigger Hippie

        Pastic-c-c?

  7. Tonio

    Rot row! College Dems just not that into Democratic Congressional Campaign Committee. Withold donations (such as they are). Would rather lose house majority than compromise purity.

    1. AlexinCT

      Religious fervor. These people that make fun of old style religion simply shifted to a new religions where the almighty state replaced the old god(s), and heaven is now promised on earth instead of the afterlife. The sad thing is that they only seem to always be able to deliver hell.

  8. PieInTheSky

    Salon trying to out-retard Vox.

    Competition is capitalist. They should cooperate and thus reach peak…

    1. AlexinCT

      I suspect that the result of this cooperation, unlike with the experiment Einstein proposed where someone using a flashlight on a ship moving at light speed would not result in a cumulative effect since light speed is currently believed ti simply be the maximum speed we can attain in our current understanding of the universe, you would get levels of peak retard that could be universe ending.

  9. The Late P Brooks

    If the legislation passed, lawmakers could request corporation taxes, real estate transfer taxes and personal income taxes as long as they were for a “specific and legitimate legislative purpose.”

    “Bad Orange Man’s Law” has a nice ring to it.

    1. leon

      I can’t think of a single legislative duty that would require knowing a specific corporation or individuals tax returns.

      1. Writing the Bill of Attainder in a manner that avoids naming the targetted entity.

    2. Pope Jimbo

      I’m sure the law would apply equally to the Cuomo family right?

      1. AlexinCT

        HAH HAH HAH!

      2. Gadfly

        If the D’s go through with this and the R’s retake the House, they should totally use this against everyone who supported it. Turnabout is fair play.

  10. Tonio

    Re: the rush to investigate the tax returns of a certain politician: If the press had any balls they’d be asking each of those state legislators to release their own tax returns, as a gesture of good faith.

    1. The same press that is related by blood to those politicians?

      1. Tonio

        We know the lapdog press isn’t going to do that. Nor is either of the major parties.

  11. Meh. Double Meh. Saw my mom yesterday and she seemed about 90% normal; to the point that I could attribute to her being so tired. But last night she apparently got extremely paranoid: throwing objects at people, biting, and fighting to the point where she needed to be restrained and medicated.

    So things aren’t looking good – physician brother says now it looks like early dementia. “Sundowners” effect.

    1. *attribute anything bad

    2. Old Man With Candy

      Well, shit. I really feel for you, I saw this happen with several family members in the past.

      My mom is definitely showing increasing dementia, but it’s the memory kind rather than that sort of personality change. We’re talking seriously about moving her in with us.

      1. Tonio

        Ugh, sorry to hear that.

    3. Tonio

      I’m sorry, LH. Looks like you have a long, grim road ahead of you.

    4. Nephilium

      Sorry to hear that man. My sister is currently trying to convince my parents to move into a house across the street from her. I don’t think it’s going to work, as my parents have been living in the same house four over 40 years now.

      1. Tonio

        Yeah, they really don’t like change. It’s completely disorienting for them. Unfortunately, it is not always possible to keep them in their preferred environments.

        1. Nephilium

          Both of my parents are in their 70’s and still have all of their facilities. Mom plays senior league softball, and dad is the commander of the local American Legion post. But they’re not getting any younger, and my sister is trying to get my dad more active again. No real mental decline seen yet (other then not understanding the purpose of new tech, but they’ve been that way for at least 30 years).

    5. PieInTheSky

      Sorry to hear that. I avoid saying stuff unclear science but plenty in the LCHF community say a keto diet can help with that… But it is not easy and not sure it works and it may create some other issues… Then again I am skeptical of all these claims…

      1. The idea of convincing my parents to go LCHF is, sad to say, laughable. I’ve tried to tell them to stop gorging on so much fruit and toast in the morning but they’re sure that’s “healthy”.

    6. Slammer

      Praying for you and your family, brother

    7. Count Potato

      Sorry 🙁

    8. Rufus the Monocled

      My father was dealing with the early stages. Even at that junction it was weird. He would go on these wicked buying sprees. One time it was boxes of chips. Another batteries. Another time…..O’ Henry bars. My mother was losing it.

      Good luck.

    9. Thanks, everyone. Family is rallying – niece flying in tonight. Older brother, who is a nurse, a week later.

      The old man is getting tired – too many late nights calming her down – so someone will have to step in and help.

      1. Spudalicious

        Sorry dude. That’s rough. My wife has some Sundowners, but it’s more confusion that personality changes.

    10. AlexinCT

      My father, one of the most capable, independent, and strong willed people I have ever met, passed away after 18 months of turning into a baby, not knowing anyone or what was going on with him, and simply withering away to nothing. I am eating a bullet before I let that happen to me.

      1. Amen, brother.

        1. Co-worker once suggested he will take a long, long hike in the woods during the winter. And then sit down with his back against a tree and take a nap; (and perhaps with some alcohol help) letting the cold kill him. Not sure how well that would work in practice.

          1. AlexinCT

            Some people have done things like that. I want a surefire way to end things and to do it efficiently and effectively. I even had a discussion with a buddy that told me if I ate a bullet it would be used by the gun grabbers to justify disarming the unwashed masses. I actually amended my will (to my lawyer’s horror) to put in my that I did it while being of sound mind because I wanted to make sure I never got to the point I was not and had to depend on other people to make decisions or take care of me.

      2. Jarflax

        That is my plan as well. My biggest fear is slipping over the awareness threshold before I opt out.

    11. Sensei

      I was initially happy when I read the start of the post and very sorry when I read the remainder.

      Working through this now with my wife’s family and absolutely feel for you.

  12. JG43

    Good morning from the flooded wastelands.

    1. pistoffnick

      Keep your sock dry (and your powder).

    2. pistoffnick

      socks

      1. Jarflax

        Don’t be ableist some people only have one foot. STEVE SMITH HAVE MORE.

        1. I figured he was talking about a tube sock.

  13. PieInTheSky

    Florida Man arrested for telling the world he likes to eat ass.

    What is the position of EAT Lancet on that?

  14. Old Man With Candy

    From the Disney story:

    Burkhalter says that when the family reached the checkpoint at the entrance to the theme park, she had her belongings searched.

    And this is exactly why SP and I will not go to parks like that or MLB games or large venue concerts.

    1. Too many people…

      *hugs knees and rocks back and forth in corner*

    2. Atanarjuat

      Those parks are great fun though. Stand in line 2 hours, 7 minute ride, stand in line 2 hours, 7 minute ride…

      1. Suthenboy

        Stand in line on concrete in the sun. Don’t forget that part.

        1. Chipwooder

          The Florida sun, no less

      2. ChipsnSalsa

        Can’t you pay even more money to cut in lines?

      3. Rufus the Monocled

        Fast Path.

        They work.

    3. bacon-magic

      They usually don’t search the butt. Kiester it.

      1. Old Man With Candy

        When we got metal detectored going into Lambeau, SP’s flask set it off. We were waved through without comment. It’s expected there.

    4. Shpip

      Mrs. Shpip and I went to a road show of Dear Evan Hansen in Orlando recently. Did the metal detector thing, put my keys and phone on the table next to the detector, walk through it, carry on. Then the attendant stops me, points at my keychain, and asks “Is that a knife?” I just replied “No, it’s a screwdriver.” and was waved on. Either she believed me, or she knew I wasn’t about to go all Allahu Akbar on a crowd of theatergoers with a 1.25 inch blade.

      1. Nephilium

        Security at a local minor league hockey game confiscated this from me at one event. I haven’t gone back to that venue since.

        1. Old Man With Candy

          That’s worth a narrowed gaze.

  15. The Late P Brooks

    I did a Morning Joke flyby, just for fun. They were huffing and puffing about the shocking financial irregularities at the NRA. The NRA has sullied the otherwise spotless record of non profit political advocacy organizations.

    1. AlexinCT

      These people must never have heard of the unions and financial mismanagement of their funds?

  16. PieInTheSky

    Gonzo Biohacker Charles-Édouard Brown-Séquard

    https://blog.adafruit.com/2019/05/06/gonzo-biohacker-charles-edouard-brown-sequard/

    In 1889 Brown published an article about having reversed senility in himself and feeling 10 years younger. His extract “The Elixir of Life” made from dog and guinea pigs testicles combined with his own blood and semen was eventually recognized as quackery. Until then over 12,000 physicians were dispensing this concoction “Sequarine”.

    1. SugarFree

      Another of the testicle hucksters…

      Monkey testicle grafts:

      https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Serge_Voronoff

      Which lead to a cocktail:

      https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Monkey_Gland

      1. l0b0t

        I only learned of things because of Auntie Mame.

  17. Pope Jimbo

    Humorous story from a bike activist complaining about being assaulted because he started shit about someone parking in a bike lane outside a strip club late at night.

    This is the perfect bike story. There are no good guys. The biker is complete ass. The drunk guys hanging outside a strip club are all assholes too (shocker). I might have to give the edge to the biker though because he spent the time and energy to write up this screed.

    Bike lanes are built to protect people; blocking bike lanes is literally a life-or-death issue. Businesses that endanger vulnerable road users should have their liquor licenses pulled. They should be wallpapered with citations, and if they still can’t fall in line with community standards, they should be shut down.

    1. leon

      What an asshole

    2. Tonio

      “blocking bike lanes is literally a life-or-death issue”

      Nope. You have the option to come to a complete stop, dismount, and walk your bike around the obstacle. That might delay your travel, might be inconvenient, but if you choose to dart out into traffic then you assume some liability.

      Parking in a bike lane is kind of a dick move, but also understandable for people who lost convenient on-street parking outside their residences or businesses. Those bike lanes are underused while cyclists whine about how the lanes aren’t good enough and they need a bigger, more expensive, more disruptive lane that absolutely must run along major throroughfares because gods forbid that a cyclist ever have to cycle a block out of his way and take a longer, safer route.

      1. Pope Jimbo

        Look Tonio, we are never going to beat Portland for the title of Most Bike Friendly CIty if we don’t have moar, moar, moar bike lanes. And those bike lanes can only be used by bikes. Ever. All of the time.

        Of course, it is only fair because those bikers pay so much in taxes and user fees to build the roadz.

        Lastly do you really want to get on the wrong side of MN Bike Wrath?

        Nearly four years ago, I got real fucking tired of being respectable, and real fucking tired of begging the individuals and institutions tasked with protecting our lives to do their jobs. So I founded MPLS Bike Wrath, a coordinated collective of cyclist-advocates organized around a central premise: We have a right to get angry about this shit.

        1. Suthenboy

          Most of the bikers I have known were young or in their prime, arthritis free and the most self-righteous, sanctimonious pricks you could meet. They were certain that everyone should bike like they do instead of driving cars.

          Fuck that guy. Eventually people are going to start tossing handfuls of tacks in the bike lanes.

          1. straffinrun

            I just fixed my mama chari’s flat tire. Collective punishment. Geez.

      2. AlexinCT

        “,em>Nope. You have the option to come to a complete stop, dismount, and walk your bike around the obstacle. That might delay your travel, might be inconvenient, but if you choose to dart out into traffic then you assume some liability.”

        You expect people to exercise some form of common sense Tonio? What a shitlord!

    3. ChipsnSalsa

      Ride around the obstacle. It’s not that hard.

      1. Drake

        Where’s the entitlement in that?

    4. Nephilium

      Then here, have a good cycling story. There’s a trail that’s now over half done to allow people to bike across the country along old railroad lines. I would love to do a leg of it (at the minimum), but the girlfriend thinks a 25 mile ride is a lot…

      1. robc

        Too far north, they need to build a southern route too.

        1. Nephilium

          I think they want to complete this one first. And there were already some chunks of it done up north, you have the GAP which goes from Pittsburgh to DC (which I’d like to ride at some point), then there’s trails along some of the old canals. And it should be doable in a couple of months (assuming a 40 mile a day pace) once there’s support built along the trails.

      2. Pope Jimbo

        Thanks. That does look like a lot of fun. Doing a trip like that (or floating the Mighty Mississippi) is on my bucket list.

        1. Nephilium

          The closest to me that’s really built out is the GAP (Great Allegheny Passage) which has built up an entire cottage industry around supporting the cyclists. They’ve got trail towns with B&B’s and bike repair shops as well as trail wardens who sweep areas to help people with breakdowns. If you want to do it really easy, you can also hire a service to take your luggage for you, so you just need to make it to your next stop. I’ve got some friends who have done it, and would like to, but the girlfriend refuses.

        2. pistoffnick

          “(or floating the Mighty Mississippi)”

          Ewww. Minneapolis and St. Paul used to dump raw sewage in the Mississippi during heavy rains. You could spot floating turd in Lake City.

          1. Pope Jimbo

            If that is the nature paddle you want, you can always hit up the Chicago river.

            It is amazing to me how much the Mississippi has been cleaned up in my lifetime. And the eco-nuts are still moaning about how polluted it is.

          2. “But, but, look at it, it’s Brown!”

            /econut

          3. Enough About Palin

            No shit. In the 70’s, we swam in the river as kids (just north of the 694 bridge in Brooklyn Center). One afternoon, a dead horse floated by.

          4. So someone finally stopped beating the thing?

      3. Raven Nation

        That is cool. I’ve ridden on part of the rails-to-trails in central Missouri and enjoyed it.

        1. dbleagle

          The MoPac across Missouri is a delight. It has a great series of B&B’s and supporting businesses.

          I am in Washington State for work. During a couple of days off I did parts of “John Wayne Trail” AKA “The Ironhorse Trail” which follows the former Milwaukee Road right-of-way most of the way across the state.

          On the stretch heading west from the Columbia River I saw multiple elk and enough quail that I was really missing my shotgun. It crossed a divide through a 2000ft tunnel. The section through the Snoqualmie Pass area is spectacular.

          The SP segment parallels large lakes, crosses multiple high and long railroad trestles and passes through a 2.3 mile long tunnel. You can ride downhill for almost 30 miles through the forests of the Cascades. This is one of the most stretches of biking in the country. Recommend-would ride again multiple times.

          1. dbleagle

            Read “one of the most outstanding…”

      4. dorvinion

        My oldest just got to the point she can ride so we’ve done a fair bit of biking this year.

        I live near one of the legs of this cross country trail. Probably ought to get up there before summer makes riding untenable.

        Problem I’m having is my legs start burning well before I’m out of breath.

      5. 25 miles on a bike isn’t that much.

        1. Nephilium

          I’m aware, you’re aware. But she’s unwilling to put in the time to get better. She just complains that she’s too slow and it takes too long. I’ve given up on those attempts, and am just trying to get more time in the saddle this year.

          1. ChipsnSalsa

            If you’re willing to spend the cash.

            https://www.giant-bicycles.com/us/bikes/e-bike

          2. Nephilium

            I’m aware of the e-bikes, but she’s already got a ~$2,500 comfort cruiser hybrid (that she won at an event). I don’t think it’s had more then 100 miles put on it in the past three years. I live two blocks away from one multi-use trail, and there’s several other good rides all around where I live. The opportunity is there, the equipment is there, but she doesn’t want to do it at all.

    5. Drake

      Who the fuck in his right mind rides a bike after 11 pm in a city? Then stops in front of a strip club to act like an asshole?

      1. Who the fuck in his right mind rides a bike after 11 pm in a city?My question.

        1. Close tag fail.

        2. l0b0t

          Me? Seriously, I drive most of the time but I LOVE biking through NYC. When afforded the opportunity, I ride single-trail in CO and UT but I was didn’t own a car for almost 2 decades and commuted exclusively by velocipede (and occasional rental vans) in FL, LA, and NYC. A full suspension frame (6 inches of travel on the forks, 8 inches on the tail) make city riding a great deal of fun. I DO hate some of NYC’s stupider bike laws – being over the age of 14, I am not permitted to ride on the sidewalk but my kids (under 14) are required to ride on the sidewalk. Also, the traffic calming measures introduced by the last 2 mayors have earned them (in a theoretical just universe, Preet) a trip to chippertown. Removing lanes to install wide concrete medians and potted plants make me want to break my foot off in Bloomberg’s ass.

          1. AlexinCT

            There was a scene in that movie Ted2 where they were dealing with joggers that comes to mind….

          2. l0b0t

            That was a good one. Also this – https://youtu.be/xLhEs_KDpMM

      2. ChipsnSalsa

        Who the fuck in his right mind rides a bike after 11 pm in a city?

        You answered your own question.

        1. blackjack

          We have some asshole who uses his you bike at 5 am on my path to work. He intentionally plants his toy right in the middle of the right lane on a two lane street. The left lane plugs up all the way back because huffy and puffs his way up to, at best, 5 miles per hour. I’ve seen a pedestrian out pace him across the intersection.

          Hey, ride your total bike if you want, just stay to the right so the grown ups can get to work, asshole. It’s not hard, don’t be an asshole.

          1. Pope Jimbo

            The ones that really piss me off are the ones that ride their bikes at night with no lights or reflectors and wear their dark hipster clothing. If I was on any jury considering a manslaughter charge against the person who ran them over, I’d aquit in a second.

      3. Brett L

        Dudes with multiple DUIs and other problems with executive function.

        1. Pope Jimbo

          We have a small liquor store less than half a mile from my house. It is in a strip mall on a busy road, but is very easy to get to via bike paths in the back way.

          It took me a long time before I figured out why I kept getting such dirty looks when I was putting the beer I just bought in my bike basket. I thought I should have been getting props for reducing my carbon footprint, but instead people were thinking “that dude needs to learn when to get help”

          1. MikeS

            Well, you do need help…

      4. A lot of people do the latter.

  18. The Late P Brooks

    Science is scary

    Nuclear power plants are so big, complicated and expensive to build that more are shutting down than opening up. An Oregon company, NuScale Power, wants to change that trend by building nuclear plants that are the opposite of existing ones: smaller, simpler and cheaper.

    The company says its plant design using small modular reactors also could work well with renewable energy, such as wind and solar, by providing backup electricity when the wind isn’t blowing and the sun isn’t shining.

    ———-

    NuScale still must convince the Nuclear Regulatory Commission that its plant design is safe. The company cleared the first phase of that review last year.

    Licensing this design is challenging. It’s so different from existing plants that regulations must be changed to accommodate it. That worries some watchdogs and critics.

    “My concern about NuScale is that they believe so deeply that their reactor is safe and doesn’t need to meet the same criteria as the larger reactors, that it’s pushing for lots of exemptions and exceptions,” says Edwin Lyman, acting director of the Nuclear Safety Project at the Union of Concerned Scientists.

    Lyman argues that even with NuScale’s passive safety design, things could go wrong. He’ll be among those watching regulators closely as NuScale pushes to have its first power plant built and operating in 2026.

    Not exactly a wealth of information about how the system works, but don’t worry; the important thing to remember is nuclear power is scary and dangerous. I think the green new dealers will be able to keep this technology from ever seeing the light of day.

    1. leon

      ” such as wind and solar, by providing backup electricity when the wind isn’t blowing and the sun isn’t shining.”

      I think you have this relationship backwards.

      1. LJW

        Backup energy that is running 99.9% of the time?

    2. Tonio

      I clicked through to NuScale and it looks like it’s a conventional Uranium reactor, just on a small scale. They didn’t mention anything about “new, safe, low-pressure” technology, which I imagine they would have if it was MST technology.

    3. robc

      The improvements in design of Nuke reactors since we last started building them in the US 40 years ago is amazing. I have no doubt that their design is safer than those currently operating, which are themselves pretty damn safe, as long as you can avoid Tsunamis.

      1. Tejicano

        C”mon now. Who could have seen the risk of building a nuclear reactor below ground level DIRECTLY on the coast in one of the most earthquake prone islands on the face of the planet?

        1. Sensei

          Don’t forget designing it with a cooling design that requires functional pumps instead of using gravity.

    4. AlexinCT

      I think the green new dealers will be able to keep this technology from ever seeing the light of day.

      If you realize that they are not about providing a real solution to a real problem, but using a manufactured problem to peddle totalitarian global marxism, you will quickly grasp why they are so hell bent on shutting down any nuclear endeavors. Thorium reactors come with none of the problems of the older uranium ones, require none of the storage nightmares with spent fuel, and certainly have zero chance of a meltdown (which contrary to what idiotic opponents of nuclear power believe never results in a nuclear explosion), but they dare not interested in energy as much as they are interested in government control and allowing their buddies peddling the green energy shit nobody wants and make huge money at tax peyers expense.

    5. acting director of the Nuclear Safety Project at the Union of Concerned Scientists.

      This guy is definitely a dispassionate observer. No ace to grind here!

  19. Rebel Scum

    The legislation would loosen restrictions surrounding private tax information and allow the commissioner of the New York Department of Taxation and Finance to release state tax returns requested by the leader of one of three U.S. congressional committees.

    So it should be easier to investigate the Clinton’s finances, right?

    1. Gadfly

      Talk about a dumb and short-sighted move: they’re making their state even less appealing to their fattest tax cattle by making them more exposed to the capricious investigative whims of government officials.

  20. Rebel Scum

    revealing…what we all already know

    You win some, you lose some. But I’ll take a building with my name on it in yuge gold letters and you can pick on me all you want.

  21. leon

    Something about tax returns reminded me of the the big campaign the NYT did accusing the Trump’s of Tax Avoision, when what they did was legitimate. Remember “loopholes” are leagal things that some asshole hadn’t thought of when trying to engineer your actions.

    1. straffinrun

      Anti gun, higher taxes, pro IRS… When I lived in the US, that would be a platform you’d build for executions.

    2. Pope Jimbo

      Whining about loopholes is such a loser move. You made the rules. Now you want to complain when I figure out how to work around those rules? Sad.

  22. Rebel Scum

    CNN and the New York Times made major reporting errors in covering the failed coup. Was it laziness or propaganda?

    Both?

  23. Suthenboy

    “…Trump is letting the left build this up to where they make idiots out of themselves when it is released.”

    I dont know why he bothers, they do a pretty good job without his help.

    “Contempt vote for AG Barr set for this morning for refusing to break the law by releasing grand jury information.”

    See what I mean?

    On the sticker just tell occifer fuckstick that the sun faded out the B. Wait, how was he able to read the sticker but not the supreme law of the land?

    Salon and Vox. Who is financing those shitweasels?

  24. LJW


    Cubs investigating fan’s on-air ‘offensive’ hand gesture

    What was the offense I’ve hand gesture? I can’t seem to find it anywhere and the media blurs it out.

      1. ChipsnSalsa

        What’s going on? That’s the hand gesture that, if somebody looked at, you got to slug them on the arm.

        1. No, that’s the gesture where after you slugged them in the arm, they caved your face in until your sinuses ran out in a red paste.

        2. Pope Jimbo

          I sure see a lot of NBA shooters using that symbol when they hit a big three pointer. Had no idea they were alt righters.

      2. BakedPenguin

        The far left falls for it every time.

        Someone here posted about a German general who divided generals into 4 categories: Smart & Energetic, Smart & Lazy, Stupid & Energetic, and Stupid and Lazy.

        The left has chosen to hire the Stupid & Energetic for their General Staff.

        1. I keep wanting to say Clausewitz, because that’s where I recall reading it.

          I think he also advised getting rid of the stupid and energetic.

          1. LJW

            Kurt Freiherr von Hammerstein-Equord

            “I divide my officers into four groups. There are clever, diligent, stupid, and lazy officers. Usually two characteristics are combined. Some are clever and diligent — their place is the General Staff. The next lot are stupid and lazy — they make up 90 percent of every army and are suited to routine duties. Anyone who is both clever and lazy is qualified for the highest leadership duties, because he possesses the intellectual clarity and the composure necessary for difficult decisions. One must beware of anyone who is stupid and diligent — he must not be entrusted with any responsibility because he will always cause only mischief.”

          2. BakedPenguin

            Not a bad guess (I probably would have guessed him), but a Google search turns out it was von Moltke

          3. BakedPenguin

            Well, one of them said it, and the other probably took it as their philosophy. It does make sense.

        2. kinnath

          I know that I have posted that at least once. But others may have as well.

      3. Rebel Scum

        They still don’t get trolling.

    1. Slammer

      They STILL fall for it. It was a 4Chan prank from the very beginning. “Let’s get everyone to think and act like this is a WP sign”.

      Even when shown the evidence over and over again that is was intentionally created to get people to react…they react. Like Pavlov’s dogs.

      “We will ban you for life from a ballpark for a hand gesture, thereby proving we swallow the hook, line, and sinker EVERY FUCKING TIME”

    2. Rufus the Monocled

      Sports aren’t the same anymore. Everything is just so damn sanitized and sensitive. Particularly when it comes to the fans. We’ve corporatized the whole experience. We’ve metaphorically given fans ritalin.

      I remember going to watch hockey games in the Q where crowd rowdiness would make today’s sports fan shake in their boots. At he old Montreal Forum – the Mecca. Where the ghosts of past glories lived – fans were not afraid to be vocal. Both were smoke filled arenas to give it maximum fan experience effect. You FELT you were among the hard core degenerates. Bring in the Bruins and you had one helluva ride.

      My father, a huge boxing fan, used to take us to amateur and pro boxing matches at the Paul Sauve arena. Boxing fans were another class of die hard. I remember being scared but loving it.

      I’m not saying we should have loons like Mike Milbury going into the crowd beating someone with a stick or tolerating fights by the beer concessions but we did lose and edge.

      I think.

      1. Rufus the Monocled

        Bruins and later the Nordiques I should add. Those ‘wars’ were epic.

        1. creech

          I miss Dave Schultz skating onto the ice in a Nazi helmet and shoving Dale Rolf and the Rangers into the Ovens.

      2. Nephilium

        Cleveland remembers. There was the ten cent beer night, bottlegate, the tear down of the old muni stadium after the Browns last home game…

      3. Pope Jimbo

        What is your stance on betting in the stands? Even if Kirby tips his cap in admiration?

        1. l0b0t

          Then, like a fire at the gauze works…

          That was bloody brilliant, thanks for sharing.

      4. l0b0t

        At the very first Tampa Bay Lightning game, a hat-trick was accomplished. A fan tossed his hat on to the ice. He was promptly thrown out of the arena by security. Sigh…

  25. The Late P Brooks

    But was it SPYING spying?

    Following revelations that the FBI sent an undercover agent to meet with George Papadopoulos in London in 2016, James Clapper was forced to backtrack on his prior comments and admit that this was “spying.”

    Earlier in April, Attorney General William Barr had told Congress that “I think spying on a political campaign is a big deal”, and Clapper had immediately slammed the suggestion that the Trump campaign may have been spied on as “stunning and scary.” But last Friday, Clapper, who’d been the director of national intelligence under President Obama, conceded that what the FBI had been doing “meets the dictionary definition of spying.”

    Somebody has to man the barricades against uncredentialed selfpromoting political amateurs. The FBI’s real transgression was its failure to keep Trump out of the Oval Office.

    1. Drake

      It was just following him around and secretly listening to his conversations without his knowledge. Totally not spying.

      1. AlexinCT

        Team Obama; IT WAS A CHAOTIC TIME, AND WE HAD TO MAKE SURE THE GUY WAS NOT AN AGENT OF A FOREIGN POWER!

        Someone should ask why Biden & Clinton, whom really were on the dole for foreign agents/powers, then didn’t necessitate a similar treatment.

    2. Rebel Scum

      But were his wires tapped?

  26. Slammer

    Metal

    Deathspell Omega- “Ad Arma”

    The antifa crew is grumbling about this. I think Mikko Aspa and DsO absolutely do not care, Neither do I.

    1. Raston Bot

      why would they grumble? i thought “to arms” was the latest direction of their movement.

  27. Rebel Scum

    Kill them with kindness.

    “So, after our first altercation with him, you know, I went and talked to my girls and told them, you know, ‘I’m really sorry this happened. I’m really proud of you guys for being here,’” Garecht said. “This is something we wanted to do as a prayerful act of the service as we prepared for the Easter Triduum, which was going to begin that night with Holy Thursday Mass. And I told them, you know, sometimes it’s hard to do the right thing, but I was really proud of them.”

    She continued, “Sadly, ironically, the two older girls looked at me and said, ‘Mom, that was nothing compared to what people were screaming at us at the March for Life in January.’ They went to the March for Life with their high school. So, I guess I was grateful that they had had some experience before. They were prepared for it and because they were able to kind of stay calm, that helped my younger daughter stay calm.”

    Garecht added, “and, you know, we prayed for him then. I said we’d continue to pray for him and just try to do the right thing. And then he came back, again videotaping us.”

    She said the shocking experience had her “adrenaline running.”

    STEVE SMITH GET ADRENALINE RUNNING. (But seriously, that guy is/was a d-bag. Idc who or what, you don’t harass peaceful people, especially children.)

    1. straffinrun

      The left cannot cross the line. There is no line for them.

      1. Pope Jimbo

        If there isn’t a line, how can they be on the right side of history?

        1. straffinrun

          As long as someone is to the right of them?

    2. Raston Bot

      publishing his own footage of himself doxxing teen girls praying in protest? he’s as dumb as he is unstable.

  28. Count Potato

    “‘I suffered the full force of the wrath of our culture’: Amber Heard speaks out about facing ‘death threats and bullying’ after ‘speaking up against a more powerful force’ in the wake of bitter legal battle with Johnny Depp”

    https://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-7002347/Amber-Heard-hints-legal-troubles-ex-husband-Johnny-Depp.html

    OFFS

  29. speaking of Salon:

    My regrettable libertarian romance: I rebounded from my experimental phase, but many don’t

    More disturbing than the conformity of a group of people priding themselves on individuality was their inability or refusal to even entertain the existence of any structural influence in personal and social outcomes, even when the consequences manifest in blood on the streets. If one is not poor, economics can remain relatively abstract, but when Michael Brown was shot down in the streets in August of 2014, under — according to the even the most generous interpretations — suspicious circumstances, libertarians, including those I was coming to know, were eerily silent. For ideologues skeptical of the exercise of state power, they seemed coldly disinterested in the violent instrument of the state crushing the lives of innocent men, even teenagers. So, I returned to leftism, and wrote a reading list for the Daily Beast on books essential to my own understanding of racial injustice in America, as much a homecoming for my own thinking and writing as a recommendation for my readers.

    My sobriety from libertarianism did not result from a dramatic rock bottom moment, merely an awakening back into the reality I had earlier accepted; a fresh, but familiar realization that individuals myopically pursuing their own interests have no solution to ecological catastrophe, thousands dying for lack of health insurance, lethal disparities in the public education system, and the unending terror and devastation of racism. I could not align with any political ideology that did not instinctively, and deliberately, side with the victims of unjust police shootings, the poor children in dysfunctional schools, or the families drinking poison in Flint, Michigan.

    1. Stinky Wizzleteats

      That last sentence kind of makes me think he doesn’t know what a libertarian is or how they think.

      1. Rebel Scum

        Yup. And the rest has so much to unpack, but I have too little time.

        1. AlexinCT

          WE NEED TO REMOVE YOUR FREEDOMS AND CONTROL YOU TO SAVE GAIA!

    2. PieInTheSky

      No libertarian ever criticized police brutality

    3. Nephilium

      lethal disparities in the public education system,

      Bad schools are now literally killing people.

      1. Pope Jimbo

        School shootings? Are we saying those are now caused by chronic underfunding?

        1. BakedPenguin

          Yeah, those schools that have had their underfunding doubled in real terms over the last thirty years without moving the needle on performance.

          1. AlexinCT

            At some point someone should teach these people with the concept of return on investment. When you keep pissing away money and the results keep getting worse, not better, the problem is not how much money you are spending (other than you are throwing away money), but with the idiotic premise money makes a difference when we can clearly see it doesn’t. This is the whole Krugabe logic about the old trillion dollar vote buying and democrat campaign fund larding effort they called a stimulus package not really working because they should have pissed away 2 trillion dollars instead.

    4. straffinrun

      That straw man had its hands up.

    5. Count Potato

      That whole case was such a mess and can see how people could reach the wrong conclusions.

      https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Shooting_of_Michael_Brown

    6. Suthenboy

      Does Salon run a ‘I used to be a libertarian but saw the error of my ways and now I am a commie’ story in every issue?

      1. leon

        That does seem to be their shtick

    7. Trigger Hippie

      ‘…but when Michael Brown was shot down in the streets in August of 2014, under — according to the even the most generous interpretations — suspicious circumstances, libertarians, including those I was coming to know, were eerily silent.’

      Aaaand, we can safely call this story out as bullshit.

      1. Funny there’s no mention of Tamir Rice or the guy in Arizona or Laquan McDonald …

        You know, legit cases of police brutality.

    8. >>coldly disinterested in the violent instrument of the state crushing the lives of innocent men

      Uh… isn’t that one of the main points of libertarianism? More state? More violence used. But somehow to this fool, a bigger state will uh reduce violence because magic?

      1. commodious spittoon

        I bet he’s a big fan of police and teachers unions.

    9. Chipwooder

      Flint is nothing if not a massive, hideous failure of government. You’re not pinning that shit on us, dickhead.

      1. leon

        You mean that time the regulators knew the water was contaminated but did nothing? Clearly a market failure.

    10. I. B. McGinty

      “libertarians, including those I was coming to know, were eerily silent”

      Well, it’s like what I tell Mrs. McGinty when she asks why I’m quiet on these types of issues. “You probably won’t like what i have to say.”

      1. Happens all the time at work. The progs try to get me to commiserate with their existential angst about Trump or white men or whatever, and I silently walk away.

        They wouldn’t even understand if I told them that I thought they were racist, sexist assholes who assuage their inferiority complex by building up a delusional social oppression narrative.

          1. But I like having a job…

          2. Oh come on, Eating is overrated.

          3. I. B. McGinty

            After the first few times Mrs. McGinty just called me an anarchist. So now at dinners with friends when I say “well you know…” I get cut off.

    11. Jarflax

      And as usual they use Michael Brown as the measure, not Garner or Castile etc. Yes, fuckhead you are correct, I did not protest when Michael Brown was shot. That is because he was shot assaulting the cop. That was not a ‘suspicious’ shooting, that was a scumbag making the final stupid evil choice of a scumbag life and my outrage is reserved for cases where something that shouldn’t have happened happened.

    12. B.P.

      Shorter: “…. so I retreated to the comfy, cozy blanket of convincing myself that the world is mired in unprecedented, nonstop calamity and catastrophe. I feel better now. No, I’m perfectly sane. Really.”

    1. Democratic Hitler

      I gotta respect Potato’s persistence on this topic.

    2. I can’t tell if CP likes Rose or hates her.

      1. Mad Scientist

        What’s not to like? You don’t see other water buffalo getting so much press.

  30. bacon-magic

    Great song Banjos.

    1. Tundra

      Great hockey team, bacon.

      1. bacon-magic

        *drops gloves and cheers*

      2. Not Adahn

        *To Oilers team chef*

        Great bacon, hockey team.

  31. Trigger Hippie

    “As College Democrats, we did a lot of work to build the new Democratic majority,” says Hank Sparks, the 20-year-old president of the Harvard College Democrats, which is spearheading the boycott. “This is a policy that’s going to silence a lot of voices like ours.”

    Take a good hard look at yourselves and what you’re advocating for then ask yourselves why. The more you radicalize and scream that everyone to the right of you is Hitler in training the more you turn off regular people who would have otherwise sheepishly continued voting (D). You can’t demand immediate, drastic changes to the very fabric of society as we know it without scaring people.

    “The DCCC might see the victories of outsider candidates in 2018, such as Ocasio-Cortez, as a reason to impose the vendor rule. She mounted the first primary campaign in more than a decade against Joseph Crowley, beating the powerful Queens-based congressman who was long considered a future speaker of the House. But the College Democrats argue that victories like hers are evidence that the party should be allowing, if not encouraging, primary challenges, especially in safe blue districts; clearly, they say, the district was ready for new representation. (That’s not to say that progressive candidates were responsible for the House majority; to the contrary, moderate candidates provided the most wins in the last midterm elections.)”

    Moderate candidates, surprise, surprise. The radicalized left very well may continue to make gains in solid blue enclaves but the (D) leadership recognizes that at the national level it’s a political loser. Not to say they disagree with the far left, just that they’re at least politically astute enough to not shout it from the rooftops.

    1. B.P.

      “…we did a lot of work to build the new Democratic majority,” says Hank Sparks, the 20-year-old [blah, blah]…”

      Why, he’s been toiling away in those unbearable policy mines for upwards of two years.

  32. bacon-magic

    Go BLUES ♫♪♪♪♪!!!

    1. I never took you for a fan of Chariot racing.

    2. Rufus the Monocled

      At one point I was worried for them. They dominated the entire game except the 2nd OT where they were clearly losing an edge. Bishop was stoning.

      But they hang tough and didn’t crumble like other Blues teams in the past.

      1. bacon-magic

        I agree with that statement. Canadians are experts in this, curling and hosiery.

    3. Chipwooder

      Sucks….the pick the Rangers got from the Stars in the Zuccarello deal would have been a first rounder if Dallas had won.

    4. Tundra

      I got a text from a buddy as I was getting off the plane early this morning. “I hope you are watching this game! Double overtime!”

      Oh well.

  33. Here’s The Viral Anti-Biden Parody Site That’s Outranking His Real Site On Google
    “I promise you, the president has a big stick.”

    Google “Joe Biden website” and one of the first non-ad results you’ll find is the link to JoeBiden.info, which is supposedly promoting “Joe Biden for President 2020” — but while you’ll certainly find information about the Democratic presidential frontrunner at the site, it’s not the kind of information the former vice president is hoping to push out to voters. That’s because JoeBiden.info is a parody site created by a self-described “closest to a libertarian” man who continues to be amazed at how many actual Biden supporters fall for the overtly anti-Biden site.

    “Uncle Joe is back and ready to take a hands-on approach to America’s problems!” the parody site announces at the top of its homepage. “Joe Biden has a good feel for the American people and knows exactly what they really want deep down. He’s happy to open up and reveal himself to voters and will give a pounding to anybody who gets in his way!”

    1. Stinky Wizzleteats

      Dropped by their domain registrar in 3…2…1…

    2. leon

      He’ll have his site shut down because parody is the same as misinformation. I’m surprised the Onion is allowed on Twitter still.

      1. straffinrun

        There really is no need for parodies of Joe Biden.

        1. AlexinCT

          If the media paid as much attention to gaffes by democrats, like Biden, Sanders, Karla Marx, Pelosi, Waters, and so many others as they did to Dan Quayle so they could make him look dumb, these people would be forced to suck dick on San Fran streets to get enough change for their drug habits.

      2. Rebel Scum

        Related

        More accounts being created.

        On Monday night, Twitter suspended the parody account “Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez Press Release (parody)” in the latest crackdown on conservative accounts. Like a hydra, however, accounts parodying Rep. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez (D-N.Y.) have leapt into existence, with at least five emerging from the beheaded husk of the AOCPress account…

        AOC*Parody* also started in May 2019 and sent out its first tweet at around 10 a.m. The account, which describes itself as “she blinded me with science,” had gained 33 followers as of 3 p.m.

        Official AOC From The Block — (PARODY) also joined Twitter in May 2019. Its first tweet came in the wee hours of Tuesday morning. As of 3 p.m., it had 65 followers. The account describes itself as “Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez Parody Account – support office of Mike. Lover of Gingers – Cow Fart Sniffer – BRONX FOR LIFE.”

        In its first tweet, the account mocked Ocasio-Cortez’s support for Palestine. “Like, Israel is, like, so ungrateful. Palestine send them 600 new rockets and they don’t even say thank you!” the account tweeted.

      3. Gadfly

        He’ll have his site shut down because parody is the same as misinformation.

        The funny thing is, I just visited that site and it now is even more informational than it was when I previously visited it. It might even have more true information about Biden on it than Biden’s actual campaign site, so it would be truly ironic for it to be shut down as “misinformation”.

    3. Rebel Scum

      Uncle Joe is back and ready to take a hands-on approach to America’s problems! Joe Biden has a good feel for the American people and knows exactly what they really want deep down. He’s happy to open up and reveal himself to voters and will give a pounding to anybody who gets in his way!

      Heh.

  34. The Late P Brooks

    the conformity of a group of people priding themselves on individuality

    Whoosh.

    1. Pope Jimbo

      Well ‘Whoosh’ isn’t the word I would have used, but I guess I’ll go along with the flow because I’d hate for there to be any dissension or wrong think here.

  35. U.S. Democratic Socialists’ Political Agenda Looks A Lot Like Venezuela’s
    The leftist punditry refuses to admit that Venezuela’s fate is due to their socialist policies and that Nordic success is the exception, not the rule.

    The ‘Democratic’ Part Doesn’t Stay for Long
    In the beginning, Venezuelan socialists won power in fair, open, and democratic elections. This is important to note because American socialists are convinced democratic norms are sufficient protections against tyranny. They are not.

    Once It’s Okay to Steal From the Rich, It’s Okay to Steal
    Venezuela was once a prosperous nation. Socialists ruined it. Income and wealth redistribution was just the start. Price controls on wages, rent, food, and gas have devastated the country. The nationalization of several industries increased the presence of ultra-inefficient state-owned enterprises. All these have exacerbated massive shortages.

    Socialist States Are Failures Far More Often Than Successes
    The American socialist elite have purposely deceived their adherents into believing that Nordic outcomes are the norms, not the exception.

    more in the fold

    1. BakedPenguin

      The Nordic countries changed back to a capitalist model (albeit with a large welfare state) years ago. Also, they’re the only people on the planet who will eat lutefisk, and the lack of competition keeps prices down.

    2. B.P.

      “Trust democracy.”

      –Joe from Lowell

    3. Urthona

      I’ve been pointing this out every time anyone says “but Scandinavia’..

      The democratic proposals are nothing like Scandinavian socialism. Do they propose raising middle class tax rates to 60% for healthcare scheme voters pay for that allows for personal choice and private insurance? No that polls at about 20%. they plan to soak the rich and crush private insurance.

      They are Latin American socialist. There is nothing Scandinavian about any of their proposals.

  36. Pope Jimbo

    Uffda. I always knew sailors were pansies, but this is ridiculous.

    A Master Chief has been retired because people got the vapors at some of his language.

    Carter told sailors assembled aboard the carrier April 30 to hear a speech from Vice President Mike Pence to “clap like we’re at a strip club” when Pence arrived.

    WTF?

    1. Neither the command nor the dismissal makes sense.

      1. straffinrun

        Makes sense if “clap” is a noun.

    2. Whatever happened to the salty sailor language? And the tattoos and the rum, sodomy, and the lash?

    3. Gustave Lytton

      Yet no repercussions for those keeping those sailors locked up as a back drop for a political speech.

    4. AlexinCT

      The NAVY went from teaching its sailors to fight the ship 24/7 to PC stuff 24/7, and a created a slew of problems (like ships colliding with commercial traffic despite having the most sophisticated navigation equipment on the planet), and they did this because of the political shit coming from our idiot political class that forgot the military is not a diversity program, but a necessary force we need to make sure anyone meaning harm to the country would suffer some serious death & destruction. That this guy was made to resign for a comment like that is direct evidence that priorities are all FUBAR.

      1. Pine_Tree

        And nobody wants to admit this, but the USN will probably not recover. With the possible exception of the submarine force, the current and future fleet is very badly FUBAR’d. Even aside from the cultural and operational things you mention above, the infrastructure situation is deeply damaged;
        we have no satisfactory sourcing plan, and no good ship designs. Go read CDR Salamander’s blog if you’re interested.

        Folks don’t realize that USN hegemony, and particularly in the Western Pacific, is a thing of the past. PLAN is on a track to win.

        1. AlexinCT

          Agreed. The last 2 administrations before the current one fucked things up royally. This one is talking about adding more ships while not addressing the current problem both with the existing leadership and the material problems unfortunately. It will be a rude awakening when China decides war with the US is winnable – whatever that means for them – and not only invades Taiwan, but starts using the threat of force to bend nations like South Korea, Japan, or even Australia or India to their will and charging them or denying them navigational rights.

          There is a scary new world order on the way because of the people that feel the wrong side won the Cold War, and especially those in our own country…

    5. ChipsnSalsa

      Should have gone with, “Clap like we’re at a Village People concert.”

    6. Rasilio

      Is that clap like you are at a strip club or fap like you are at a strip club?

  37. The Late P Brooks

    Here’s what i thought of, as I was listening to Elizabeth Warren blabbering about Trumphitler’s “obstruction of justice” crimes:

    If a cop pulls me over because he’s on a fishing expedition for dope runners, and I refuse to open my trunk for him, am I guilty of obstruction of justice even though there is no dope in my car? Because that (and “Whycome you no co-operate if you got nothin to hide?”) seems to be the thrust of their argument.

    1. I have nothing to hide, but you have no right to look.

    2. Trigger Hippie

      Using the Joseph Goebbels School of Logic. But it’s everyone else who’re the Nazis.

    3. Pope Jimbo

      Open your trunk? Shoot, Brooks, you are going to get rung up on obstruction if you simply complain about being pulled over in the first place.

  38. Welcome to adulthood?

    I’m 26, engaged, and having less sex than I was at school

    And for a while, it was. It felt like my birthday every day. But as our careers and confidence flourished, the sex tap started to dry out.

    We were millennials, we suddenly had so much to prove to everyone, even people we didn’t know. We worked harder than ever before and for very little in return.

    My libido had never been a problem in the past but now I was tired, stressed and insatiable. I needed a release, but my partner simply wasn’t up for it.

    Where before I’d boast to my friends about getting filthy sex and having someone who wants to spoon afterwards, I was dying to know about their Tinder one night stands.

    ‘But how are you?’ they’d interrupt. I’d lie, say my sex life was great, better than ever. I was embarrassed to admit that I was in the best relationship of my life, but was having less sex than I was at school.

    1. Drake

      The lament of the college slut.

      1. AlexinCT

        I am gonna guess there is a 75% chance she cucks this dude she is with.

        1. Drake

          “don’t blame me, I was bored!”

    2. Juvenile Bluster

      Just wait til you get married.

      1. ElspethFlashman

        And/ or have kiddos. I met with a law school pal this week who told me his sleep routine – with a 2-month-old and 2 year old – consists of 4-5 hours a night, when he’s lucky. He stays on the sofa most nights to bring the newborn to the wife for a 12am and 4am feeding.

    3. The Other Kevin

      I hate that they always try to frame this as something that’s new and exclusively happening to millennials. Almost every adult I know has a ton of responsibilities, and with that a lot of stress and yes, not as active a sex life as when they were teenagers. They really are the “look at me” generation.

    4. Every generation thinks they invented sex.

      ProTip: After about 12-24 months, those happy “feel-good” hormones that make you want to fuck like bunnies go away and you have to work at it. Since you were probably bed hopping like an amateur porn star in college, you never got past that phase.

      Welcome to the real world.

      1. Gustave Lytton

        Eye opening moment when I discovered my unmarried grandfather had a VD on his entrance medical screening circa WWII.

        1. robc

          There is an adoption record where the mother’s name matches my great-grandmothers name. It was from about a year before she was married. Although there is suspicion it may have been her sister actually, but gave the wrong name.

          My mom discovered the record about 20 years ago. A few years ago, my cousin got contacted by the son of the adopted girl, due to ancestry.com. From two pictures he sent, in one his mother looks like my grandmother (they would have been either sisters or cousins) and in the other she looks like a my great-great aunt.

          So it could have gone either way. My gg-aunt never married and had a bit of a reputation, so that is why the assumption it was her and not my g-grandmother.

    5. SugarFree

      Have you tried losing weight?

      1. AlexinCT

        Would not be surprised she is a blimp.

  39. The Late P Brooks

    Whatever happened to the salty sailor language? And the tattoos and the rum, sodomy, and the lash?

    At least they still have cannibalism.

    1. Annoyed Nomad

      Reports of cannibalism in the US Navy have been exaggerated!

  40. Hyperion

    “Florida Man arrested for telling the world he likes to eat ass.”

    I didn’t think HM lives in FL?

  41. Count Potato

    “So my possum living in the grill had babies”

    https://twitter.com/cozzi_cat/status/1124805085048049665

    1. creech

      Granny Clampett: “And they were delicious.

  42. Count Potato

    “a former Netflix creative director just raised $1.6 million for a startup that sells “straight edge” water in tall boy cans and their tagline is “nothing’s better than water at murdering your thirst””

    https://twitter.com/broderick/status/1125806938267299842

    “A former Netflix creative director just got $1.6 million from big names in tech for Liquid Death, which is water in a tallboy can”

    https://www.businessinsider.com/liquid-death-water-mike-cessario-2019-5

    1. Drake

      I can admire a shitlord selling cans of tap water to rubes.

    2. Pope Jimbo

      A bit over a dime an ounce.

      I wonder if that guy got his mentoring in BS while working on Obama’s Netflix projects?

  43. The Late P Brooks

    The relentless quest for the worst of the worst

    A bartender who served a Texas man on the night he killed eight people at his ex-wife’s house has been arrested and faces charges in connection with the incident.

    ———–

    Last week, police arrested Glass on a misdemeanor charge of violating the state’s alcoholic beverage code, which says a person can be held liable for selling “an alcoholic beverage to a habitual drunkard or an intoxicated or insane person.” Glass has not been formally charged and is out on bail. She faces up to a year in prison, a fine of $500, or both.

    What the…?

    1. Pope Jimbo

      Dram shop laws?

      I haven’t heard of criminal arrests before, but it is pretty common here for a bar to be sued if a drunk causes a crash. It would be a bigger deal, except that the bars buy insurance and instead of being a constant pain in their ass, it is just another bill they need to pay.

    2. Private Chipperbot

      insane person.

      What? How?

  44. Hyperion

    In more local news.

    Johns Hopkins students arrested

    The fact they let this go on as long as it did, is quite pathetic. It shouldn’t have lasted even a day. These adult children were enabled to ruin their own futures.

    1. Rebel Scum

      Do they think that government cops are better?

      1. leon

        As long as they are only enforcing right think.

      2. Hyperion

        No, they think that lawlessness is better.

  45. Wanton Wednesday provides material for Onanistic fun time.

    https://thechive.com/2019/05/06/bad-girls-bend-at-the-waist-45-photos-2/

    1. STEVE SMITH MAKE HIKERS BEND AT WAIST. NO PHOTOS AVAILABLE.

  46. Count Potato

    “Facebook is finally admitting it has “billions” of fake accounts”

    https://twitter.com/broderick/status/1125436549833924608

    “Inside Facebook’s war room: the battle to protect EU elections”

    https://www.theguardian.com/technology/2019/may/05/facebook-admits-huge-scale-of-fake-news-and-election-interference

    1. Count Potato

      “Facebook Invites Journalists to See New ‘War Room,’ Won’t Let Them Ask Workers Questions

      Facebook, the social media giant that helped enable genocide and yet is still allowed to exist for some reason, had a big public relations push this weekend. And if the news stories that came out are giving you a sense of deja vu, you’re not alone.

      Facebook has a new European “war room” to combat election interference as the European Union prepares for elections on May 20. And the new European war room sounds an awful lot like the American war room that garnered a lot of press in the lead up to the 2018 midterm elections.

      What actually happens in this Facebook war room? We’re not sure, exactly. But we do know that it’s staffed with people who are apparently “hunched over” and looking very busy. We also know that Facebook gets a ton of press for this nonsense.”

      https://gizmodo.com/facebook-invites-journalists-to-see-new-war-room-wont-1834538767

      1. Rhywun

        Facebook, the social media giant that helped enable genocide

        I keep telling Zuck to take the money and run but he doesn’t listen. He still thinks he can tweak his way out of being destroyed by the idiot-mafia.

    2. Rasilio

      Billions of fake accounts you say, gotta wonder just how many of those fake accounts advertisers paid to show ads to

  47. Drake

    Maybe burning down the Ebola clinics was a bad idea.

    1. AlexinCT

      What? they cant use the same cure they are proscribed for AIDS like they do in the southern part of the continent? Rape some young people?

      1. Don’t be silly, you don’t use the same treatment for two very different diseases. “Bleeding from every orafice” probably calls for some form of medicinal cannibalism.

  48. >>The New York Times obtained a decades worth of Trump’s tax returns

    So Trump had a bunch of business losses in the 80s and 90s.

    How does capitalism work again?

    1. straffinrun

      Wonder what is going through Assange’s head as he read that story.

    2. Hyperion

      When did having tax returns become a crime? Oh yeah, when Trumputin stole the election from the rightful queen of the world.

      1. straffinrun

        Seriously, how the fuck did they get them?

        1. Probably leaked by a #RESISTOR at the IRS.

          1. Were these the federal forms? Or the state forms? It could have been someone at Tax and Finance, since most of the federal form needs to be copied into the state form anyway.

          2. straffinrun

            I read somewhere it was just copies of the paper filings.

          3. which filings though?

          4. straffinrun

            Good question. I was at work all day and only caught snippets.

          5. Rhywun

            When the state passes its law and makes it retroactive to the data they leaked this data to NYT, we’ll have our answer.

          6. AlexinCT

            This should result in a DOJ investigation and they should jail the fuckers that did this. it’s what Obama would have done and did to people that pissed him off.

      2. Having someone else’s tax returns actually can be a crime. Depending upon the type of entity and how you got them.

  49. Want to Fix Presidential Elections? Here’s the Quickest Way.
    Abolishing the Electoral College and creating a national popular vote are far-fetched ideas for now. But there’s a more targeted way to reform American elections by 2020—starting with the swing states.

    The system arguably functions contrary to expectations of how a democracy should work, and inconsistently with the purpose the founders intended.

    There are some bold reform proposals on the table that deserve consideration in the long run—ideas that would solve the problem that presidents can be elected despite the majority of voters opposing them, an outcome unthinkable in any democracy committed to majority rule. The problem is that most of these proposals either aren’t going to be feasible by 2020, if ever, or, on close inspection, would actually worsen the problems they’re intended to solve.

    But there is a more tactical, targeted approach reformers could take—one that would be doable by 2020 and would seriously improve the current system. This approach wouldn’t require a sweeping, improbable overhaul of the entire system; in fact, it would keep the Electoral College intact. The key is to focus reform efforts on swing states—the battlegrounds where elections are decided—and get them to embrace, via ballot initiatives or legislation, electoral systems that reward only candidates who win a majority of the vote.

    Ideally, the whole country would adopt this reform, but just having the five main “toss-up” states on board in 2020 would eliminate a significant amount of the risk that the election results could go against the national popular vote.

    1. Stinky Wizzleteats

      They’re a dangerous bunch of retards who seem hell bent on starting a civil war which is what an effective abolition of the EC would cause.

      1. AlexinCT

        They are the wolves and think they are in the majority right now, so they are totes cool with 51 wolves telling the 49 sheep what’s for dinner. If they were not of the deluded belief/opinion they were somehow able to always be in the majority, they wouldn’t be advocating shit like this.

    2. Pope Jimbo

      an outcome unthinkable in any democracy committed to majority rule

      Mrs. Caron my old 3rd grade teacher must be spinning in her grave. Maybe if this moron had had Mrs. Caron as his teacher he would have learned about the Constitutional Convention and that the Great Compromise came about to avoid a government based on majority rule.

      1. It’s not actually majority rule they’re after anyway it’s rule by them. With a dismissal of the electoral college, then massively inflated fraudlent vote totals in their strongholds means they can override the honest elections elsewhere.

    3. Rebel Scum

      They mean to “fix” presidential elections…

      1. AlexinCT

        Import new voters, allow felons and dead people to vote, and scream bloody murder every time a truck full of ballots that result in voter turnout exceeding 100% in some district gets found favoring them, sure seems to be the way they think they got this all locked.

    4. Gustave Lytton

      They’re using fix in the sense of rig, right?

    5. straffinrun

      At least we won’t have to change the initials if we switch to The United Serfs of America.

    6. Hyperion

      Wow, how original. This is the first person to even think of that shitheaded idea. Stop fucking lying and just say what you believe, that leftist CA and NY should control every nation election from now on, fuck the rest of the country. Try it.

    7. Rebel Scum

      functions contrary to expectations of how a democracy should work

      That is because the US is a collection of independent States that delegated certain authorities to a common government among them, mostly dealing with foreign policy. It is a republic, not a democracy.

      1. Rebel Scum

        and inconsistently with the purpose the founders intended.

        You mean the founders that were expressly AGAINST democracy?

        1. democracy, and universal suffrage, are both terrible ideas.

        2. tarran

          Yep. If you read the Federalist papers that discussed the Electoral College, the founders were pretty worried about what would go wrong if the people started directly electing presidents by popular vote.

          Their model was that subsets of the population would each send a trusted member to vote for the President, and that he would do the due dilligence and make his decision with careful consideration.

          Yes, the Electoral College doesn’t work as the founders envisioned, and that’s because it’s become too closely aligned with direct democracy.

          1. I don’t trust anyone to be my proxy at the electoral college. I insist on representing myself.

            What do you mean I don’t get an EC vote?

    8. Rebel Scum

      just having the five main “toss-up” states on board

      Swing states change…

    9. Pope Jimbo

      So here is my scenario: In 2020, no one wins 270 electoral votes (Starbucks guy runs a great campaign). The election of the president would go to the House. I can see both Teams immediately flipping on the basic goodness of the Electoral College.

      All of a sudden the Dems would love it and the GOP would condemn it.

      This entire argument is happening only because Hillary was too dumb to realize she had to campaign in the icky flyover country.

      1. B.P.

        “This entire argument is happening only because Hillary was too dumb to realize she had to campaign in the icky flyover country.”

        That’s what needs fixing. Their preferred candidate lost, so the system is broken.

      2. Gadfly

        All of a sudden the Dems would love it and the GOP would condemn it.

        Actually no, and not out of any principled stand by the GOP, mind you, but rather the fact that the way electing a president in the House works would favor the GOP (who, despite being in the minority, still is the majority in the majority of state delegations). When the House selects a president, it is not by House members but by states, with each state getting 1 vote total. It’s even less proportional than the EC.

    10. >>inconsistently with the purpose the founders intended.

      This statement peeved me off the most.

    11. robc

      As I have said before, there is only 1 good proposal for a change to the EC, and it would have to be done by amendment to get the big states to do it:

      All states switch to the ME/NE plan. One EC vote per house district with the other 2 going to the statewide winner.

      It actually helps in fraud prevention, as massive fraud in one location can flip at most 3 EC votes.

      1. Yeah, but that might actually give some of Illinois, NY and Kali’s EC votes to Nazis, so non-starter.

        1. robc

          But it would also take some away from Texas and Georgia nazis.

    12. It’s. Not. A. Fucking. Democracy.

    13. Drake

      Just get swing states to voluntarily forfeit their say in federal elections!

    14. wdalasio

      How about a simple compromise – an amendment eliminating the Electoral College and making secession a clean and simple process.

      Any other alternative is a recipe for misery. You’re insisting that millions of people in rural state be perpetually disenfranchised to urban interests. Anyone who’d ever read the Federalist Papers would understand that the Framers basically understood this. That’s why we have the EC in the first place. They understood that anyone who was going to govern a continent-spanning nation could only manage to do so if they had a broad consensus of support, rather than simply 50%+1.

    15. Gadfly

      …ideas that would solve the problem that presidents can be elected despite the majority of voters opposing them, an outcome unthinkable in any democracy committed to majority rule

      Someone should let this person know that in parliamentary democracies it is common for the head of state to be elected without a majority of votes behind them. I haven’t run the numbers, but it looks like it is possible that the majority of people who live in democracies live in a parliamentary system, but either way it is hardly “unthinkable” in a democracy.

      1. Rhywun

        In parliamentary democracies the voters don’t even vote for the national leader.

    16. Gadfly

      …electoral systems that reward only candidates who win a majority of the vote

      And what happens when nobody wins a majority of the vote? Like what happened in 2016, and in 2000, and in 1996, and in 1992… If this person actually means “plurality” when they say “majority” then they need to correct their terms. And if they do mean plurality, then their plan isn’t solving the purported problem that “presidents can be elected despite the majority of voters opposing them”.

      1. Not to mention that whites have the highest voter turnout rate, so limiting it to voters is racist.

  50. Idle Hands

    https://www.npr.org/2017/10/06/555218514/6-lessons-about-trump-from-season-1-of-the-apprentice

    “My name’s Donald Trump,” he begins, “and I’m the largest real estate developer in New York.” He lists off his holdings: buildings, casinos, golf courses, model agencies and much more.

    Then he briefly hints at his past financial challenges.

    “But it wasn’t always so easy. About 13 years ago, I was seriously in trouble,” he says, in reference to four bankruptcies involving his properties in Atlantic City and New York in 1991 and 1992

    “I was billions of dollars in debt,” he continues. “But I fought back and I won, big league. I used my brain. I used my negotiating skills. And I worked it all out. Now my company’s bigger than it ever was — it’s stronger than it ever was.”

    Donald Trump from the apprentice season 1 premier. The most insulting part of all this is everyone thinking that people who support or voted for Trump don’t know who he is or he somehow tricked them into thinking he’s something he’s not. He’s probably the most transparent and open President we’ve ever had. He’s a used carsalesman.

    1. All of these “Gotcha, look at X he did in the past” moments garner the same reaction “Yeah, we hired a businessman, not a saint. We know he was a bankrupt, divorced adulterer, this is nothing new.” And yet they seem to think one more skeleton from the ossuary closet is going to make a difference when the door has been open for decades.

  51. Rhywun

    New York Gov. Andrew Cuomo (D) signaled his support for the legislation after it was introduced in April in the Democratic-led state legislature. Hoylman has denied that the push to pass the legislation was partisan, saying “what’s at stake here is the prerogative of legislative oversight.”

    He then added, “I’ll be here all week.”

    1. Not Adahn

      “I’ll be here all week.”

      Much longer than that, unfortunately.

  52. Rhywun

    He said that the device generating the signal was built to inform the homeowner when there was movement in the house while he was tinkering in the basement, by turning off a basement light.

    Are there any big-boned Senator’s daughters missing?

    1. Nephilium

      Well, I live only about 15 minutes from the city in question, but I deny it was me.

  53. robc

    http://barclayperkins.blogspot.com/2019/05/lets-brew-wednesday-1880-whitbread-xx.html

    7% ABV and 105 IBUs. Modern American IPA? No, its a 19th century British Mild. Maybe.

    This one is a XX as opposed to that beastly XXXX I last posted.

    I feel like Q, only with mild recipes instead of boobies.

    1. Speaking of boobies: On the way to work today, I was behind a Jeep Wrangler that had a tire cover with the words: “Boobie Shaker” on the back with a picture of the Jeep grille in the shape of a pair of breasts.

    2. kinnath

      I’m enjoying these posts.

      1. robc

        Me too. My two takeaways:

        1. 18th and 19th century Brits were heavy drinkers.

        2. Tastes havent really changed. Things we would think of as over-hopped, boozy beers would have been pretty common in the 19th century.

        1. kinnath

          Because the level of hopping is crazy – almost 15 lbs per quarter (336 lbs) of malt.

          I’ve been looking at recipes from the 1500s and 1600s. They range from 1 1/2 to 3 lbs of hops per quarter of malt.

          1. robc

            It wasn’t until exporting became common that the hop levels went really high.

        2. Nephilium

          So were Americans.

          By 1830, alcohol consumption reached its peak at a truly outlandish 7 gallons of ethanol a year per capita. Via Okrent:

          They go through the averages to get 1.7 bottles (at 80 proof) per person per week.

          1. robc

            Docs started recommending against co-sleeping because it was easier to convince people to put babies in cribs than to convince them to not get blackout drunk on gin.

          2. Gadfly

            It should also be noted that if this per capita is measuring the entire populace, the country had a much higher proportion of children then than now, meaning either the children were getting drunk too or the adults were drinking much more than 7 gallons.

  54. Count Potato

    “Ex-priest who got teen pregnant can keep job as middle school teacher

    A veteran New Jersey teacher who once had a sexual relationship with a 14-year-old girl and got her pregnant — all while he was a Catholic priest — can keep his middle-school job, an arbitrator ruled.

    Former Rev. Joseph DeShan, 59, began teaching in the Cinnaminson school district in 1996 — six years after he impregnated the teen, who worked in his parish rectory in Bridgeport, Conn., the state ruling said.

    Cinnaminson school officials didn’t learn of the illicit relationship until 2002, when it surfaced in the press.

    DeShan, who had left the priesthood years prior, was suspended for three weeks but eventually returned to the classroom.

    Then last year, district officials alleged that DeShan made a 12-year-old student uncomfortable while commenting on her “pretty green eyes,” according to the ruling.

    The parents said their children felt unsafe being taught by a “rapist” and a “pedophile” who had no business being around juveniles, especially those close in age to the girl he impregnated, the document said.

    But the arbitrator ruled that the allegation involving the female student’s eyes was hearsay and did not warrant DeShan’s termination.”

    https://nypost.com/2019/05/03/ex-priest-who-got-teen-pregnant-can-keep-job-as-middle-school-teacher/

    https://twitter.com/nypost/status/1124796112450269185

  55. Pope Jimbo

    All right you bastards, I’m off to let someone claiming to be a doctor shove a camera up my ass. I better pass this fucking time. I stayed up all night studying for this colonoscopy. If I get shit grades I’m going to be pissed!

    1. Tundra

      Lay back and think of the Met Council.

      Good luck!

    2. ChipsnSalsa

      Jimbo’s Doctor shown here.

    3. AlexinCT

      Tell the anesthesiologist (which will be the largest expense) that usually before you get to this point, someone has to buy you dinner first. See where it goes…

    4. Count Potato

      Good luck!

    5. pistoffnick

      I’ve only had 2 in my lifetime. The last one (a couple of months ago) was far more comfortable than the previous.
      The drank mix is still gag inducing…

      1. whiz

        Yes, the procedure itself is nothing since you’re not conscious — it’s the prep that’s rather disgusting.

    6. ElspethFlashman

      Once they take care of your tests, it’s smooth sailing!

  56. straffinrun

    According to Sheila Jackson Lee, it’s up to 700 former prosecutors that believe Trump should’ve been charged with obstruction. But what’s their opinion of climate change?

      1. straffinrun

        Rep Cohen goes even deeper. Trump was flat broke in the 80’s and therefore was wide open for Russian blackmail. This is good theater.

    1. Rebel Scum

      And what is the partisan composition of these prosecutors? Never mind that you can’t just charge the president, the legal means to deal with criminality of presidents is impeachment.

      Seriously, complaining on twitter and bouncing ideas off of your advisers is not obstruction of justice.

  57. Count Potato

    “My friend, @nickmon1112, got locked out of his account for using colorful (and consensual) language about a high praise he received. He’s a highly praised and necessary journalist whose main medium has become Twitter. He is appealing.”

    https://twitter.com/ali/status/1126095122133860352

    OFFS

  58. Scruffy Nerfherder

    !&*^#@! cable company screwed up and disconnected my business internet/phones yesterday afternoon. I’m finally back up and running.

    Yay for large bureaucratic organizations…. not.

    1. AlexinCT

      Will they pay you a fee for the screwup?

      1. Scruffy Nerfherder

        Not likely, I’ll be watching my bill for a service charge.

      2. ChipsnSalsa

        Funniest thing I’ll hear all day.

  59. Count Potato

    “The Facebook employee assigned to handle communications relating to last week’s bans is the former Press Director of Hillary For America. But it’s not political, honest!”

    https://twitter.com/PrisonPlanet/status/1125816519185846272

    https://bigleaguepolitics.com/huge-facebook-hired-former-hillary-press-director-to-inform-media-of-alex-jones-ban/

    1. But we need a bigger government to stop those large corporations!

      1. Count Potato

        We don’t. We just need big government to stop giving them special protections and benefits.

        Although, at the root of it, there can’t be a free market until banking is free from government.

      2. AlexinCT

        Shouldn’t people be frightened that they are now making government the only and final arbitrator on things where abuse of power will become the norm and be hellish, when nobody will be checking government power?

        Yeah, I know. I am pope dreaming if I expect people to think this shit through beyond their usual team blue/red agendas.

        1. As long as the wrong-thinkers are punished, everything is totes cool.

        2. team players assume that issues lead people. If they get the right statute or regulation in place, government will follow. They’re ass backwards on that. People lead the issues, and an administration/congress/bureaucracy that doesn’t agree with an issue doesn’t enforce the law/regulation.

    2. Scruffy Nerfherder

      The Democrats certainly have no qualms about trying to silence dissent.

      1. To be fair, what has anybody done to dissuade them from doing so?

        A few small groups of conservatives have bitched about it, and an even smaller group has canceled their accounts. Womp womp.

    3. Rebel Scum

      So they are colluding?

  60. pistoffnick

    https://duluth.craigslist.org/mcy/d/fergus-falls-2013-victory-cross-country/6884007002.html

    Look at picture number 8: How did that license plate get past the censors?

    1. SugarFree

      9 out of 10 Minnesota license plate censors are functionally illiterate. It’s a real problem.

  61. Scruffy Nerfherder

    SJWednesday: The Gender Games

    There are a number of points this single statement can contribute to the gendered understanding of how states misperceive the actions of other states, but the most prevalent is the use of ‘he’; a form of ‘othering’. Just as Cohn’s opponent referred to her team collectively as ‘he’, states have the same habit. During the Persian Gulf War, the US consistently referred to Iraq in the singular masculine pro-noun, which distorted a complex state and set of forces into the story of a sporting match; “I would want to suck him out into the desert as far as I could, and then pound him to death”.

    By using ‘he’, the image of a unitary actor is evoked, restricting a state’s ability to achieve their goals in a far lower level of violence and destruction. ‘He’ both personalises the conflict and abstracts the opponent. In the case of the Persian Gulf War, personalising and abstracting the ‘he’ to mean Saddam Hussein, and not Iraq, portrayed the US not as destroying a nation, but instead as “giving Saddam a good pounding… a bully getting his comeuppance”. Therefore demonstrating how a gendered perspective can expand the realm of explanations to a theory’s critical flaw.

  62. Enough About Palin

    “I am starting to believe that Trump is letting the left build this up to where they make idiots out of themselves when it is released.”

    Isn’t passing a law to target a specific individual because they don’t like them akin to a bill of attainder?

  63. Scruffy Nerfherder

    SJWednesday: The Cubs Will Not Tolerate Hand Symbols

    .

    A Chicago Cubs fan could be facing a lifetime ban after he snuck in a racist hand gesture live on air.

    The ignorant fan appeared to throw up a ‘white power’ signal behind the back of a Black newscaster, Doug Glanville, a former outfielder for the Cubs who currently works as an analyst for NBC Sports Chicago.

    Glanville was covering Tuesday night’s game at Wrigley Field against the Miami Marlins when a fan seated formed an upside-down “OK” symbol — a hand gesture associated with white supremacy.

    “We are currently investigating an incident that occurred during the Cubs’ May 7 broadcast on NBC Sports Chicago while reporter Doug Glanville was on the air,” Cubs president of business operations Crane Kenny said in a statement to The Post. “An individual seated behind Mr. Glanville used what appears to be an offensive hand gesture that is associated with racism.”

    The statement continued:

    “Such ignorant and repulsive behavior is not tolerated at Wrigley Field. We are reviewing this incident thoroughly because no one should be subjected to this type of offensive behavior. Any derogatory conduct should be reported immediately to our ballpark staff. Any individual behaving in this manner will not only be removed from the ballpark, but will be permanently banned from Wrigley Field.”

    The controversy less than a month after Major League Baseball launched an investigation into racist messages sent to Cubs relief pitcher Carl Edwards Jr. on social media.

    The “okay” hand gesture as a symbol of white intolerance reportedly started as a joke by trolls on the 4chan message board in early 2017, as to trigger liberals and trick the media by pretending the widely used hand signal had a secret racist meaning, according to The Post.

    But in the Trump era, we all know it has a secret meaning

    1. SugarFree

      That’s not even the fake white power signal. That’s the “made you look” game. Fucking idiots.

      1. Scruffy Nerfherder

        It is the Cubs we’re talking about.

      2. Rebel Scum

        So you’re saying he gets to punch everyone in the arm.

    2. Stinky Wizzleteats

      That looked dangerous, did Doug make it home OK?

  64. Scruffy Nerfherder

    SJWednesday: I Urge You All To Participate

    You are being asked to participate in a survey conducted by Maya Holmes at Lindenwood University. I am conducting this study to examine microaggressions. Microaggressions are defined as the everyday verbal, or nonverbal environment slights or snubs, whether intentional or unintentional, that communicate hostile messages to members of a minority group. It will take about 10-15 minutes to complete this survey.

    Your participation is voluntary. You may choose not to participate or withdraw at any time by simply not completing the survey or closing the browser window.

    Participants may become distressed or have feelings of anger while taking this survey. However, I will not collect any information that may identify you. There are no direct benefits for you participating in this study.

    Sample Question:

    Michelle wanted to try out for the swim team at her high school. However, she did not make the team because she was unable to swim a mile without stopping.

    On a scale to 1 to 10 (1= not at all and 10= very much), how much of a microaggression do you perceive in the example above?

    1. ChipsnSalsa

      -5

    2. It depends how good Michelle looks in that swimsuit.

      1. AlexinCT

        AND if she puts out for whomever is asking, right?

    3. Stinky Wizzleteats

      38 and the coach should be fired.

    4. The survey taker should be pilloried (literally) and mocked relentlessly for their belief in “Microaggressions”. A few rotten fruits to the face might give them some perspective.

    5. “Value your time and honesty.”

      Whoops.

  65. AlmightyJB

    Great tune!

  66. straffinrun

    TL;DW version of the House Judiciary Committee Barr Contempt Vote; Team Blue – Trump is a poopy pants and he hates children. We aren’t asking for Barr to break the law. We’re asking him to ignore it. Team Red – Suck it. Go ahead and try.

    1. Hyperion

      Is it just my imagination, or has their flailing around on the floor like a toddler throwing tantrums, reached new lows?

      1. Nephilium

        Hah! You think this is low? Wait until you see what they’ve got planned for next month!

      2. straffinrun

        The fact that all the team blue critters keep throwing in the “he separates children” even though it has nothing to do with anything at all shows that they are getting their asses handed to them.

        1. Rebel Scum

          That one is particularly stupid. Wtf are you supposed to do with children whose parents are arrested for a crime, jail them with the parents?

          1. It depends on the race and sexulaity of the parents.

          2. straffinrun

            That, too. I’m just asking what it has to do with Barr.

      1. straffinrun

        Where do they find these guys? And I thought Cruz had the biggest doucheface until I saw Nadler’s.

  67. Scruffy Nerfherder

    SJWednesday: LeninGBTQWERTY+

    LGBT+ liberation, sexual liberation, is impossible in capitalism, so we fight for socialism. Not the fake socialism of Stalinism and Castroism, which criminalize LGBT+ people, but in the legacy of the Bolsheviks who not only overthrew the capitalist class but who also, as early as 1917, decriminalized homosexuality and named an openly gay people’s commissar for foreign affairs, Georgy Chicherin.

    But we have a much stronger basis to theorize sexual liberation than the Bolsheviks did in 1917. We must learn lessons from the good and the bad of 100 years of LGBT+ organizing, and decide on what we agree with and what we don’t in queer and feminist theory. But this we are sure about: The socialist revolution of the 21st century will be draped in rainbow flags and trans flags.

    1. >> socialist revolution of the 21st century will be draped in rainbow flags and trans flags

      I see a lot of frilly hats in the future.

    2. Rebel Scum

      The socialist revolution of the 21st century will be draped in rainbow flags and trans flags.

      Sure…

      *drapes self in Gadsden flag*

      1. Molon labia motherfuckers!

    3. libertarianjoe

      Correct me if i’m wrong, but wasn’t Stalin a leading member of the Bolshevik party? So therefore the “legacy of the Bolsheviks” that they are idolizing would just be Stalin anyway.

      Also “LGBT+ liberation, sexual liberation, is impossible in capitalism” – citation most definitely needed. I’m pretty sure the US was fully capitalist during the whole “free love” 60’s era.

    4. wdalasio

      If the state can control the means of production, what makes this clown think they won’t control the means of reproduction? Seriously, I know it sounds whacky, but capitalism is at least premised on the notion of self-ownership, which means laws forbidding homosexuality are at least hypocritical in a capitalist society. Even the most idealized form of socialism, on the other hand, asserts that it is the right of the majority to dispose of the lives of individuals at their discretion. There was nothing in Stalin’s or Castro’s treatment of gays and lesbians that was in any way inconsistent with communist principle.

      1. Scruffy Nerfherder

        They’re just willfully stupid.

    5. Fatty Bolger

      “Fake socialism”

      LOLOLOLOLOL

  68. The Late P Brooks

    Michelle wanted to try out for the swim team at her high school. However, she did not make the team because she was unable to swim a mile without stopping.

    Did she drown?

    1. whiz

      Maybe she just wanted to swim sprints — way to endurance-other, people.

  69. The Late P Brooks

    sexual liberation, is impossible in capitalism

    SRSLY?

    1. Rebel Scum

      Clearly a right-wing tranny.

      1. Scruffy Nerfherder

        No real Tranny would do that.

      2. Rebel Scum

        BREAKING: The #STEMshooting suspect hated Christians, hated Donald Trump, shared far-left social media content praising Barack Obama https://t.co/C2etuv3f9i

        — Ryan Saavedra (@RealSaavedra) May 8, 2019

        So you’re saying he is a Trump-worshiping, right-wing, nazi, bigot, antisemite?

    2. straffinrun

      We drove him to it. Where’s my Pulitzer?

      1. ChipsnSalsa

        You misgendered xir, off to the camps with you for pronoun training.

      2. Stop pouncing.

    3. B.P.

      I’m starting to get the sense that, since transgendered are the new hip class of folks, identifying as trans at the high school level is a way for some to garner attention, like being a goth. I wonder when the backlash will take place among the OG/old school trans population, who will pillory the new trans crowd as claim jumpers or trend seekers.

  70. Count Potato

    “The First Rule of Social-Media Censorship Is That There Are No Rules

    Twitter, Facebook, et al. need transparent, viewpoint-neutral, First Amendment-based content policies.

    Just last week, Facebook banned a series of extremist accounts for being “dangerous” after evaluating their content and their owners’ “activities outside of Facebook.” Twitter has launched its own round of bans against far-right figures, including — for example — banning Laura Loomer after she tweeted that Ilhan Omar was “anti-Jewish” and part of a faith in which “homosexuals are oppressed” and “women are abused.” Just today, Twitter suspended a clearly marked Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez parody account, in part for attempting to “manipulate the conversations on Twitter,” whatever that means.

    Shouldn’t the exact same rules that empowered bans of far-right figures apply to far-left Brian Sims? Let’s look at Facebook’s community standards. They prohibit “hate speech” and define it as “a direct attack on people based on [their] protected characteristics — race, ethnicity, national origin, religious affiliation, sexual orientation, caste, sex, gender, gender identity, and serious disease or disability.” Moreover, they also prohibit “soliciting” certain kinds of “personally identifiable information,” including addresses.

    On Facebook, Sims tried to dox young girls and explicitly attacked their race and religion. Sims’s post is still up, and Sims’s account is still active.”

    https://www.nationalreview.com/2019/05/the-first-rule-of-social-media-censorship-is-that-there-are-no-rules/